Original subtitles

Debra, please sit. - Okay.

- Debra, why is it that you want to marry raymond?

- Oh, um, well, uh, you know, ray is just the--

He's the kindest, sweetest man I've ever met, you know?

And he has a wonderful sense of humor.

I mean, he's not always funny,

But, um, he really is very clever.

And nobody makes me laugh like he does.

- Really?

- Yes, and, um, I don't know.

I guess I've never been as comfortable with anybody

In fact, you know, just about the minute I met him,

I knew that he was the one for me,

So that's it.

[sighs]

- Don't lie.

- I'm not lying.

- Are you lying, debra?

- No!

- Well, then that was lovely.

Raymond, why is it that you wish to marry debra?

- Um, you said "wish."

- Yeah, yeah, for me, you said,

"why would you wish to marry her?"

And for her, you said,

"why would you want to marry him?"

Yeah, yeah, there's a subtle thing there.

Yeah.

"why would you want to marry him?"

- I wouldn't say "would."

- Okay, but still, "wish" was to me, you know,

Like--like, "yeah, you wish."

- What are you doing?

- Tell him why you want to marry me!

- Okay.

She's great, all right?

- Great.

I'm going to assume

That you won't be writing your own vows.

Um, well, let me ask you this.

Are children planned?

- Oh, yes. Yes.

We plan on having a big family.

- Raymond?

- Well, I never really thought about it.

- We talked about it.

- That doesn't mean I thought about it.

- Actually, uh--

Actually, I am a little pressed for time today,

But raymond, if I may,

Marriage requires

A great deal of soul searching

Before a responsible decision can be made.

Now, you owe that to yourself and to your intended.

Her.

Now, you can stay and talk for as long as you want

Or wish.

But I think I--

Oh, good, a funeral.

God bless.

- [sighs]

So want to get something to eat?

- What did you do?

- What? What?

- "what"? He thinks you're a moron.

- Well, you're marrying me.

- Yeah, I know!

- You see? There it is.

- There what is, ray?

- That you don't really want me.

You want the flowers and the dresses

And the lamb chops with the little paper panties.

- You are so full of it.

"oh, she's just using me

So she can have her big wedding."

You think I'm falling for that act?

Tell the truth!

You're scared.

You're scared of having to move out of your mom's house

And start an actual life.

Well, let me tell you something.

I meant what I said here today.

I love you!

And you love me, and we are getting married.

You want to act? Act like you're happy!

You understand me?

Oh, my god. You know what?

I don't care if you're scared.

I don't care if you're nervous.

You got cold feet? You get some socks!

- She really wants that wedding.

- Hey, raymond.

- Hey, uncle mel. How are you?

- I'm good.

You look like a bus toilet.

- Thanks. Glad you could come.

- This is lewis. He's my business partner.

- Hey. How are you?

- We're not gay.

- Okay, then. Okay.

See you in a bit, right?

[knocking at door]

- I saw you come in here.

- Look, ma, please, not now, okay?

- Oh, honey, I understand what you're going through.

You don't think I know? Oh.

She's very pretty, isn't she?

- Who, debra?

- It's hard sometimes with pretty people, you know?

You feel so--you know?

Listen, our family is not the most--

You know?

Look at your father.

It's not that I didn't have choices.

But I picked him.

And now--

Oh, raymond, I'm sorry.

[sobbing]

- My god!

- Hey, big crowd.

Hey, listen, debra's father, what's his name?

- Warren.

- Don't like him.

But the good news is, you don't marry the parents.

You'll see; after you're married,

The parents aren't in your life so much.

- The way your mother wasn't in my life?

- Aw. - Don't start with my mother.

- A horrible woman!

- A saint. She tried to warn me about you.

- Oh, fine. Move.

You had to ruin the happiest day of our lives.

And don't sit next to me in there.

- There's no room next to you!

So you're getting married, huh? That's great.

- Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? I think I want to see debra.

- No, no, no, no, no. No, that's forbidden.

Even I know that.

Listen, if I'd seen your mother before the thing,

I'd be having this conversation on a beach in jamaica

With my son ruiz.

Here, I got a better idea for you.

- Jack daniel's? No, dad.

- Listen to your father, will you?

Relax!

You're getting all womanly!

Come on. Have a belt or two.

Take the edge off! Come on!

- Please, dad. - Listen to me!

- Hey, ray.

Listen, can I run my toast by you?

- Not now, robert, please, okay?

Just not now.

- Sure. Fine.

It's all about you.

- Well, I'll see you down front, ray.

And crack the seal on this hooch.

It got me through.

- Hey, you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. I'm just--

This whole marriage thing just spooks me.

I see a lot of bad things.

- What, being a cop and all?

- Mom and dad.

- There's the groom.

- Oh.

- The bride asked us to deliver this.

- Did she leave?

- No, silly.

- Socks?

- [chuckles] yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Ten minutes, people.

- Well, here we go.

- Righto!

- So, debra, huh?

- Yeah, yeah, debra, yeah.

- Debra's some girl.

- Yeah, I know. I know. I know.

Yeah, I know. - See you out there.

- Okay. - Okay.

All right.

[soft classical music]

- Where's ray?

- Hey, hi. Nice to see you.

Oh, boy.

Look at her.

Are you looking, man? Look. Are you looking?

Hi.

- Hi. - Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Thanks. Thank you.

Thanks for this, really.

Great job.

Go, go, go, you know? Go sit down.

I got her.

I'll take her the rest of the way.

- Oh, look at you. You look fantastic.

- Thanks.

- Hello?

- Hi. [chuckles]

- Open it up.

- Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it.

I'll take care of it. I can do it.

That's okay. Hi.

Give me the flowers.

- I like that dress. I do. I like the dress.

- Are you okay?

- Who wouldn't be okay?

Look at you. You're beautiful.

- You're not freaking out, are you?

- I'm in love with you.

- Dearly beloved--

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Look at her, huh? Look at her.

- She is beautiful.

- Hey, she's engaged. [chuckles]

- "you have come here together in the sight of god

"so that the lord may seal and strengthen your love

In the presence of this church and its community."

- [makes loud kissing noise]

- I now ask the bride and groom to state their intentions.

Raymond and debra...

- [laughs]

- "have you come here freely and without reservation

To give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

- Yes.

- Thanks.

Me too. Yeah.

- "will you love and honor each other

As husband and wife for the rest of your lives?"

- Yes, yes, yes!

[both chuckling]

- Uh, yes. Stop it.

- What's the matter with raymond?

- I feel compelled to say something.

When I first met raymond, I was less than overwhelmed

By his demeanor towards the prospect of matrimony.

But now he seems to be the very personification

Of the wedding spirit.

There is, after all,

No more joyous occasion than this.

And perhaps our raymond is behaving today

The way god always intended.

- So that's good, right?

- It is both refreshing and wonderful.

- Aw.

Are we married yet?

- "do you, raymond, take debra"...

- Yes. - Wait.

"to be your wife?" wait.

"do you promise to be true to her

In good times and bad?"

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

"to love her and honor her all the days of your life?"

Now. - Yes.

Debra? - I do.

- Thanks.

Hey, is it too late for that own vows thing?

- You want to say something?

- Yeah, yeah, I need the ring.

Thanks! You're little.

I'm sorry I've been such a jerk.

And I promise not to be one anymore...

If you'll help me.

- I will.

- You have declared your consent before the church.

What god has joined, men cannot divide.

- Let 'em try.

- Oh, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

[cheers and applause]

- I love you.

- Yeah, you say that now.

- Hey, raymond, feeling better?

- Yeah, I'm pretty good.

- That was some show you put on in there today.

[both laugh] - I thought he was cute.

- Cute? There's a new word for it.

Well, uh, if you'll excuse me now,

I'll be at the bar getting "cute."

- Okay.

Okay, dad.

- What's he talking about, ray?

- Nothing. Nothing. He talks. He talks.

- Ray, please don't tell me--

- What? What?

- Were you-- - no.

- Were you-- - no, no, no, listen.

- Oh, my god. Are you drunk now?

- No, deb-- - oh, my god!

- No! Debra, no!

No!

- Oh, my--you know, I knew you were too happy out there.

- I was not. - What did I do?

How could you do this to me?

Is that what it takes to marry me?

- No, will you stop? Look, here, look.

- Oh, my god!

- No, just look at it.

- Why? Why?

So we can be like two drunken married idiots together?

- Will you stop it? Look at it! Look!

I didn't crack the seal. It's full.

He gave it to me, but I never opened it.

- So that was you out there?

- I got the socks, and I started thinking

That was funny, that you would send me socks.

And then I thought,

"she's kind of funny."

- [chuckles]

- You know, and then I started thinking about where I was

And you

And us.

And then I didn't need the socks.

- So that was you happy.

- Yeah.

Don't get used to that. - Okay.

[glasses chiming]

- [clears throat loudly]

Hello.

I, um, got to make a toast.

I'd like to say to my brother, raymond,

That even though there have been times

I felt that he was the favorite,

That he always got everything he ever wanted,

I have never felt that more than I do today.

[all laugh]

I want to wish these two kids well.

I know success will probably move them far, far away from us.

But I know somehow we'll find a way to be together.

- Of course we will. [sobbing]

- So if everyone will join me

To mr. And mrs. Raymond barone.

There are some weird things about my family?

[slow accordion music]

- How could you ever doubt that I wanted to marry you?

- I'm still not convinced.

- [laughs]

What's it gonna take?