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1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,602
- Hi.
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:04,603
- Hi, marie.
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,405
- [sniffing]
ooh, what--
4
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,208
Oh, another dinner
get away from you, dear?
5
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,246
- It's burnt popcorn, marie.
6
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:18,283
- Oh, popcorn for dinner.
How fun.
7
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,685
- No, it wasn't for dinner,
and I didn't--
8
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,653
- Amy! Oh!
- Marie! Oh!
9
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,589
- Oh, honey!
- Hi!
10
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,090
Look, look,
I'm wearing the pin.
11
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,458
- Oh, it looks great
on you, honey.
12
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,495
- Thanks, and thank you so much
for lunch yesterday.
13
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,563
Marie is such a life saver.
14
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,399
- Oh, stop it.
A life saver?
15
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,767
- You brought me lunch at work.
16
00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:36,235
- Oh, honey, it was nothing.
17
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,270
- "it was nothing."
you made your own mustard.
18
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,606
- Well, you deserve it.
19
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,174
- Will you look at my gals?
20
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,044
I call them the two musketeers.
21
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:48,447
- That's stupid.
22
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,249
- Okay, you know, honey,
23
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,652
Would you like to come
and have a cup of coffee?
24
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,421
- Oh, great.
25
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,256
Deb, you want to go
get some coffee?
26
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,557
- Uh, no, I can't.
I have to--
27
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,660
- She has to take care
of that smell.
28
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,162
- Right this way, my ladies.
29
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,130
Both: Oh, thank you.
30
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:08,133
[all laughing]
31
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,610
- What the hell was that?
32
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,121
- All right.
33
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,856
Ma wants to get the kitchen
in good shape.
34
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,292
She's letting amy
cook dinner here Friday night.
35
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,461
You and debra
are cordially invited.
36
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,662
- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
37
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,664
Mom's letting amy
use her kitchen?
38
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,332
- That's right.
39
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,768
I don't have to tell you
what a big deal this is, do I?
40
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,572
'cause it's huge.
41
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,273
- It's not huge, robert.
42
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,476
- Mom has never let anybody
cook in her kitchen.
43
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:53,312
Nobody.
44
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,547
- Oh, what's that
supposed to mean?
45
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:56,615
- Nothing.
46
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,684
It's just I'm excited
for amy.
47
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:02,287
And this is the first-year
anniversary of us going out.
48
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,656
- You know, debra
has cooked here, my friend.
49
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:08,393
- Mm, no, she has not.
50
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,628
- She has too.
51
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,530
- No, sir.
- She has too, you freak.
52
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:14,500
- You're the freak!
Dad? Dad?
53
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,902
- Ow!
54
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,771
- Has ma ever let debra
cook in her kitchen?
55
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,807
- I'm not getting involved
in your stupid argument.
56
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,542
Your mother likes amy
better than debra.
57
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,277
End of story.
58
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,147
Hold that up.
59
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,215
- Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Wait a minute.
60
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,651
What?
Who told you that?
61
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,553
- Your mother!
62
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:39,558
Don't go blabbing that.
She said it was a secret.
63
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,461
- Well, what does she mean
she likes her more?
64
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,464
- Oh, they're very close.
You know, they talk every day.
65
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,566
- Every day?
What about yesterday?
66
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,736
- Was yesterday a day?
67
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:52,237
Every day
68
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,839
For hours.
69
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,674
- It's true.
70
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,177
Amy talks her out.
71
00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,811
Marie sometimes goes days
72
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:04,616
Without having
to say a word to me.
73
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,219
I love amy.
74
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,859
- Hey.
- Hey.
75
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,594
Your dad okay?
76
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,563
- Yes.
77
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,335
Hey, did you know that amy's
78
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,205
Cooking a big dinner
over there Friday?
79
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,239
- For their
anniversary thing?
80
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,774
- Yeah.
Yeah, amy's cooking.
81
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,976
In my mom's kitchen.
82
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,511
You've cooked over there
before, right?
83
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,549
- What, are you kidding me?
84
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:42,487
Marie doesn't even like me
cooking over here.
85
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,389
- Can we turn the tv off,
please, huh?
86
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,626
Does the tv always
have to be on?
87
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,294
- What's wrong with you?
88
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,696
- Nothing.
89
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,631
Can't we just talk?
90
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,867
- Okay, now you're scaring me.
91
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,869
- You don't wish that you could
cook over there sometime, huh?
92
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,439
That wouldn't be fun?
93
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,007
- Um...
94
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,512
That might be the dumbest thing
you've ever said.
95
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,780
Give me the remote.
96
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,616
- No, no, no.
No tv.
97
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,950
- Ray, come on,
what are you doing?
98
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,786
This is stupid!
- It isn't stupid!
99
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,723
- You give me--I don't care what
your mom does with amy, okay?
100
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,259
- No!
No!
101
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,760
- Ray, I'm watching the tv!
102
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,662
- She likes amy more than you!
103
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,766
- What?
104
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,801
- Yeah, that's what
she told my dad.
105
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,536
- She did?
106
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,973
- Yes, and then he
told me and robert.
107
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,842
Oh, and don't go
telling anybody, all right?
108
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,410
It's a secret.
109
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,416
- Okay, I won't.
110
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,717
Why do you care?
111
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,419
- I don't care.
112
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:50,455
Robert's the one
who was acting all cocky.
113
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,758
"amy's cooking.
Ah."
114
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,731
- What, is this, like, some kind
of competition between you two?
115
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,766
- No!
What--
116
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,568
- Oh, my god.
It is!
117
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,604
Oh, you can't stand it
that your mommy
118
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,806
Likes robbie's girl
better than your girl.
119
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,712
- I'm a little
insulted by that.
120
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,047
- You're insulted?
121
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,016
I'm just this thing
in your stupid sibling rivalry.
122
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,552
- There is no rivalry.
- Oh, no?
123
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,387
Robbie's got
the better girl, ray.
124
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,924
We're behind.
What are we gonna do?
125
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,526
- Where you going?
126
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,428
- Well, I've got
a lot of work to do.
127
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,029
There's
the evening gown competition.
128
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,666
There's swimsuit competition.
129
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,401
Oh, my god,
talent competition.
130
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,969
What should I do,
twirl or sing?
131
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,105
I know!
I'll do both.
132
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,841
[singing]
one, singular sensation
133
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,777
Every little
step she takes
134
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,412
One
135
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,114
Thrilling combination
136
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,750
Every move that she makes
137
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,452
Idiot.
138
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,893
- Nice.
Very nice.
139
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,762
Nice attitude.
140
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,765
Forget about miss congeniality,
that's for sure.
141
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,771
I'm not an idiot.
142
00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,676
- Hi, raymond.
143
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,045
Listen, on Friday,
amy's gonna cook--
144
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:20,846
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
145
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,114
Robert just told me.
146
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,115
- Oh, good.
So you'll be there?
147
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:26,017
Oh, robbie is so excited.
148
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,786
- Yeah, that's nice for him.
Listen, ma...
149
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,955
- What?
- I want to ask you something.
150
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,990
Sit down.
151
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,759
- All right.
152
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,031
- Why do you like amy
more than debra?
153
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,700
- What?
154
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,402
- Yeah, dad told me.
Dad told me that you liked--
155
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,571
- He's lying.
156
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:50,809
- Did you say that you like amy
more than debra?
157
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:54,479
- I am not
158
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,548
Saying that.
159
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,754
- What?
160
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:10,028
- I am not saying
that I like amy more than debra.
161
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,965
- I know.
I know you're not saying it now.
162
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,436
But did you say it ever?
163
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,076
What if I told you
that we have a tape
164
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,012
Of you saying it, ma?
165
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,220
- Give me the tape.
166
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,856
- Yeah.
There is no tape.
167
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,958
- Well, then you don't have
any proof at all.
168
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,495
- Wait. Wait, mom. Why?
Why did you tell dad that?
169
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,864
- It was supposed
to be a secret.
170
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,200
I'm never gonna talk
to that man again.
171
00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,001
- Why don't you like debra?
172
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:53,104
- Honey, I love debra.
173
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,241
No, it's just that amy and I
get along so well.
174
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:59,711
She's a very nice girl,
you know?
175
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,813
- Well, so is debra.
Debra's nice.
176
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,682
- No, I don't mean
nice like that.
177
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,883
- Well, what?
178
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:11,623
- I mean, amy is a very nice
and very good--
179
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:15,126
She's a very good girl.
180
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,629
- So is debra.
181
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:20,966
- No.
Good pure.
182
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:24,569
- Pure?
183
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:31,009
Whoa, wait.
184
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,777
Wait!
What?
185
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,813
Pure as in amy has never--
186
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:38,617
- Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh--
187
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:43,522
I was supposed
to keep that a secret.
188
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,758
- What?
Amy is a good girl?
189
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:51,096
But she's 33 years old, ma.
She can't be.
190
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,531
- She can't?
191
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,299
- I mean, yeah, she can,
but how?
192
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,800
It's so...
193
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:59,304
- Refreshing?
194
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,874
- Wow, I don't believe it.
195
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,912
So amy's never let anybody
cook in her kitchen either.
196
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,853
- I don't like that, raymond.
197
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:15,954
- Well, wait a minute.
198
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,890
Why is amy's goodness
such a big deal?
199
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,959
- Because it tells me
about her character,
200
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,028
The kind of person she is.
201
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,896
See, I think robert
is very lucky
202
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,898
To find a girl like that.
203
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,234
- How do you know
that I wasn't lucky too?
204
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,569
- What are you saying?
205
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,203
- How do you know
that debra wasn't,
206
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,239
You know,
when we got married?
207
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,609
- You mean debra
was a good girl?
208
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:55,093
- Listen, my mom was just here,
and we were talking,
209
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,761
And it hit me.
210
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,630
I was,
I was being competitive
211
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:02,334
About amy and robert
and my mom, and
212
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,035
I'm sorry,
213
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,036
Really sorry.
214
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:09,040
I mean, you know, who cares
what your mom thinks?
215
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,809
- You're right.
216
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,377
You are.
You're right.
217
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,113
In fact, you should
hear the reason
218
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,148
Why she likes amy
more than you.
219
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,352
Oh.
[laughs]
220
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:22,854
Oh, man.
She's nuts, that lady.
221
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,889
- Why? What?
What did she say?
222
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,957
- Well, first of all,
223
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,094
Did you know
that amy has never--
224
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:32,797
[clicking tongue]
225
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,634
Huh?
She's saving up for later.
226
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,268
- That's supposed
to be a secret.
227
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,372
Who told you that?
- My mom.
228
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,941
- She did?
- Yeah, can you believe it?
229
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,977
That's it!
That's her whole reason.
230
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,080
- Because amy's a--
- good girl. Good girl.
231
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,349
That's what she's calling her,
a good girl.
232
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,285
- Oh, my god.
233
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,288
- It's so shallow.
234
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,024
- What can I do?
235
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,992
I can't exactly compete with amy
in that department.
236
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,895
You know,
you can't un-ring a bell.
237
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,698
[both laughing]
238
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,301
Oh.
- Nope.
239
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,770
You know what I did?
240
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,205
I told my mother
that you were a good girl too.
241
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,709
[laughs]
242
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,944
[both laugh]
243
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:23,014
- Well, how does she think
we got the kids?
244
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,784
- I meant before.
You know, before we got married.
245
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,419
[laughs]
246
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:32,857
[laughs]
247
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,695
- You can stop
laughing now, ray.
248
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,963
- I don't want to.
249
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,206
- Hi.
- What, you get lost?
250
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,407
I'm starving here!
251
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,176
- The babysitter
just got there.
252
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,011
- Yeah, yeah.
Let's get going.
253
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,013
Appetizers, marie
254
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,283
- Welcome to
la cucina dell' amy.
255
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,051
May I take your coats?
256
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,720
- I got it, robert.
257
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,189
- Hi, raymond.
- Hi.
258
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,357
- Oh, debra.
259
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,294
Oh.
260
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,429
I'm so glad you're here.
261
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,964
Oh, come on. Come on.
Come on.
262
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,066
I need your opinion
on this sauce.
263
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,769
- Really?
- Yes, of course.
264
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,939
- Mmm.
Yeah, tastes good.
265
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,040
- Good.
266
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,041
- What's your secret?
267
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,809
Extra-virgin olive oil?
268
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:30,415
You boys take the appetizers
and get out of here now.
269
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,083
And let us finish in here.
270
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,251
- Okay.
All right.
271
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,252
Come on, debra.
Let's go.
272
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:39,991
I want debra to stay
and help me with the salad.
273
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,093
- Love your haircut, deb.
- Oh, thanks.
274
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,028
- Oh, yeah,
it's very good.
275
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,398
- Oh, well, you know me,
good hair for a good girl.
276
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,834
[chuckles]
277
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,804
Yeah, want to look good,
want to be good.
278
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,339
Good, good, good.
279
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,775
- Okay, let's get going.
280
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,409
Let's let amy and mom
finish up here.
281
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,878
- No, no, no.
Let--
282
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,146
- No, no, it's amy's dinner,
you know,
283
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:04,516
And we wouldn't want
to ruin it.
284
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,152
- Are you happy now?
- No.
285
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,787
- Why?
Your mom likes me.
286
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:12,957
- I'm sorry.
287
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,093
- Hey, ray, try one
of these garlic rounds.
288
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,428
Amy made them.
289
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,798
- Okay, dinner will be ready
in just a few minutes.
290
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,799
- Thank god!
291
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:24,469
- Isn't this fun?
[giggling]
292
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,372
You and I
should make a big meal
293
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,240
For the family together.
294
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,341
How long has it been?
295
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,810
- Oh, gosh, pretty long.
296
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,379
Let's see,
uh, never.
297
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,380
- No!
[laughs]
298
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,348
No.
299
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,550
Never?
- No.
300
00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:39,918
- Oh, we'll just
have to do it.
301
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,952
- Oh, that's okay.
302
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,453
- No, we'll have lots of fun.
303
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,589
- That's okay, marie.
- Oh, you know what?
304
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,091
You can make
your lemon chicken.
305
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:50,228
- All right, stop it, ma, huh?
Just stop it.
306
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,462
- What?
307
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,231
- Stop being nice to debra.
308
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,333
- Ugh.
309
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,368
Don't bother, ray.
- No, this is crazy.
310
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,370
She can't keep
treating you like this.
311
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,972
- I shouldn't be nice?
312
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,440
- You're being nice
for the wrong reasons!
313
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,909
You know she can't cook.
314
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,014
And what I said
about debra?
315
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,350
I lied, okay?
I lied!
316
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,885
- What do you mean?
317
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,920
- Debra wasn't a good girl
when we got married.
318
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,323
- Oh!
- Huh?
319
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,024
- What do you mean,
a good girl?
320
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,460
- Go ahead, ray.
Tell him.
321
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,096
- Oh, you weren't a good girl.
322
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,398
[laughs]
got ya.
323
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:32,904
So who cares about the cooking?
324
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,440
- Why would you lie
to me, raymond?
325
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,442
- Because of you.
You.
326
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,311
You care so much about
who's a good girl and who's not.
327
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,579
You started
this whole competition
328
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,281
Between debra and amy.
329
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,449
- Here we go.
330
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,152
What competition?
331
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,889
- [clears throat]
don't worry. You win.
332
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,961
- And if I'm
following this right, you lose.
333
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,502
- What are you guys
talking about?
334
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,504
- You weren't supposed
to say anything.
335
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,039
- That's why
you like amy better,
336
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,141
'cause she hasn't been
around the block?
337
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,542
Why didn't you
tell me that?
338
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:16,147
- It was a secret, frank!
339
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,415
- Yes.
340
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,219
It was a secret.
341
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:25,023
- Amy, what did you
tell marie that for?
342
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:28,393
- I didn't tell marie.
- Well, I didn't tell her.
343
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,694
- Robert?
344
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:37,368
- I'm sorry.
345
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,971
I haven't been paying attention.
346
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,013
- All right,
let me fill you in.
347
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,683
We just found out
that you told ma--
348
00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:55,954
- Okay, raymond.
I'm up to speed.
349
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,422
- How come you told
your mother about amy?
350
00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:00,425
You didn't tell me.
- You didn't ask.
351
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,060
- You asked?
352
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,529
- I care about people.
353
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,731
- Marie, why would you
ask that about me?
354
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,334
- Uh, you know,
I can explain it.
355
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,269
Run.
356
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,672
Just run, and keep running.
357
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,675
- Robert, why would you
tell your mother that?
358
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,177
- So she'd like you better.
359
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,211
- You're worse.
360
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,413
You lied so she'd
like me better.
361
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:26,050
- A lie of love.
362
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,252
- Oh, god, I keep forgetting
363
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,188
What a freak show
this family is
364
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,757
Until somebody new comes in
and looks at us like that.
365
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,566
I remember that look.
366
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,135
That used to be me.
367
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,772
And now I'm one of them.
368
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,674
- I take exception
to that, debra.
369
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,609
- Well, I take exception
to what you think, marie.
370
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,277
You think just because
you were a good girl
371
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,612
In the '50s,
that gives you the right--
372
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,381
- Good girl?
Ha!
373
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,782
- Oh, frank, no!
374
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,217
- Oh, god.
375
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,120
- What the hell
are you talking about?
376
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:07,291
- Is that true, marie?
377
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:10,094
- [stammering]
378
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,632
- Go ahead, marie.
379
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,201
I won't tell anyone.
380
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:23,775
- Okay!
Yes!
381
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:38,189
Frank and I succumbed
to temptation once,
382
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,625
Just once
before we were married.
383
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,327
I was weak,
384
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:47,398
And I fell for your father's
boyish good looks.
385
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,270
That was a long time ago.
386
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:56,808
I knew it.
387
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,676
I knew we shouldn't do
what we did,
388
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,612
But we were in love,
right, frank?
389
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,182
- I wanted sex.
390
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,757
It was a long time ago.
391
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,696
- So it was just the once,
and then you got married?
392
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,665
- It was just the once,
and then we had to get married!
393
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:24,168
- Frank, no!
394
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:27,839
- Oh, whoa.
Had to get married?
395
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,574
Wait.
Wait a minute.
396
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,410
So robert's--
397
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:36,414
- What?
398
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:40,518
Oh.
399
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,855
- All right.
It's true.
400
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:46,891
We got married
401
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:50,294
After I found out
I was pregnant.
402
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:54,532
And then robbie came along
seven months later.
403
00:18:54,534 --> 00:19:00,171
- Our plan was to tell people
he was two months premature.
404
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,140
Then he was born.
405
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:05,810
Try passing off a 12-pound baby
as premature.
406
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:15,786
- Try passing it, period.
407
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,355
- All right.
Wait a minute.
408
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,658
Wait, it's nine months, right?
409
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,928
You were married in September,
and my birthday's in June.
410
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,731
- That's when we told you
your birthday was.
411
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,799
- What?
412
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,201
- It was--
413
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,936
It was easier
that way, robbie.
414
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:35,573
- Oh, well, as long
as it was easy!
415
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,478
Well, there you go, raymond.
416
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,415
You were conceived legitimately.
417
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:48,452
You win again.
418
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,289
- Come on, robert, what?
There's no winning.
419
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,365
- Well, I guess I should know.
420
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,934
When is my real birthday?
421
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:06,370
- April 6th.
422
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,972
- That's today.
423
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,545
- Surprise.
424
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:31,862
[singing quietly]
happy birthday to you
425
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:37,435
All: Happy birthday to you
426
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:43,774
Happy birthday, dear robert
427
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:49,380
Happy birthday to you
428
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,015
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday, honey.
429
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,016
- Happy birthday.
430
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,319
- [singing]
how old am I now?
29186
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