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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,602 - Hi. 2 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:04,603 - Hi, marie. 3 00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,405 - [sniffing] ooh, what-- 4 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,208 Oh, another dinner get away from you, dear? 5 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,246 - It's burnt popcorn, marie. 6 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:18,283 - Oh, popcorn for dinner. How fun. 7 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,685 - No, it wasn't for dinner, and I didn't-- 8 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,653 - Amy! Oh! - Marie! Oh! 9 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,589 - Oh, honey! - Hi! 10 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,090 Look, look, I'm wearing the pin. 11 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,458 - Oh, it looks great on you, honey. 12 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,495 - Thanks, and thank you so much for lunch yesterday. 13 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,563 Marie is such a life saver. 14 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,399 - Oh, stop it. A life saver? 15 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,767 - You brought me lunch at work. 16 00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:36,235 - Oh, honey, it was nothing. 17 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,270 - "it was nothing." you made your own mustard. 18 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,606 - Well, you deserve it. 19 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,174 - Will you look at my gals? 20 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,044 I call them the two musketeers. 21 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:48,447 - That's stupid. 22 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,249 - Okay, you know, honey, 23 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,652 Would you like to come and have a cup of coffee? 24 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,421 - Oh, great. 25 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,256 Deb, you want to go get some coffee? 26 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,557 - Uh, no, I can't. I have to-- 27 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,660 - She has to take care of that smell. 28 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,162 - Right this way, my ladies. 29 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,130 Both: Oh, thank you. 30 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:08,133 [all laughing] 31 00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,610 - What the hell was that? 32 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,121 - All right. 33 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,856 Ma wants to get the kitchen in good shape. 34 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,292 She's letting amy cook dinner here Friday night. 35 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,461 You and debra are cordially invited. 36 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,662 - Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 37 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,664 Mom's letting amy use her kitchen? 38 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,332 - That's right. 39 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,768 I don't have to tell you what a big deal this is, do I? 40 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,572 'cause it's huge. 41 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,273 - It's not huge, robert. 42 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,476 - Mom has never let anybody cook in her kitchen. 43 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:53,312 Nobody. 44 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,547 - Oh, what's that supposed to mean? 45 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:56,615 - Nothing. 46 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,684 It's just I'm excited for amy. 47 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:02,287 And this is the first-year anniversary of us going out. 48 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,656 - You know, debra has cooked here, my friend. 49 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:08,393 - Mm, no, she has not. 50 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,628 - She has too. 51 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,530 - No, sir. - She has too, you freak. 52 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:14,500 - You're the freak! Dad? Dad? 53 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,902 - Ow! 54 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,771 - Has ma ever let debra cook in her kitchen? 55 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,807 - I'm not getting involved in your stupid argument. 56 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,542 Your mother likes amy better than debra. 57 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,277 End of story. 58 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,147 Hold that up. 59 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,215 - Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. 60 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,651 What? Who told you that? 61 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,553 - Your mother! 62 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:39,558 Don't go blabbing that. She said it was a secret. 63 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,461 - Well, what does she mean she likes her more? 64 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,464 - Oh, they're very close. You know, they talk every day. 65 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,566 - Every day? What about yesterday? 66 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,736 - Was yesterday a day? 67 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:52,237 Every day 68 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,839 For hours. 69 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,674 - It's true. 70 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,177 Amy talks her out. 71 00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,811 Marie sometimes goes days 72 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:04,616 Without having to say a word to me. 73 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,219 I love amy. 74 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,859 - Hey. - Hey. 75 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,594 Your dad okay? 76 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,563 - Yes. 77 00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,335 Hey, did you know that amy's 78 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,205 Cooking a big dinner over there Friday? 79 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,239 - For their anniversary thing? 80 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,774 - Yeah. Yeah, amy's cooking. 81 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,976 In my mom's kitchen. 82 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,511 You've cooked over there before, right? 83 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,549 - What, are you kidding me? 84 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:42,487 Marie doesn't even like me cooking over here. 85 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,389 - Can we turn the tv off, please, huh? 86 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,626 Does the tv always have to be on? 87 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,294 - What's wrong with you? 88 00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,696 - Nothing. 89 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,631 Can't we just talk? 90 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,867 - Okay, now you're scaring me. 91 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,869 - You don't wish that you could cook over there sometime, huh? 92 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,439 That wouldn't be fun? 93 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,007 - Um... 94 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,512 That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said. 95 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,780 Give me the remote. 96 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,616 - No, no, no. No tv. 97 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,950 - Ray, come on, what are you doing? 98 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,786 This is stupid! - It isn't stupid! 99 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,723 - You give me--I don't care what your mom does with amy, okay? 100 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,259 - No! No! 101 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,760 - Ray, I'm watching the tv! 102 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,662 - She likes amy more than you! 103 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,766 - What? 104 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,801 - Yeah, that's what she told my dad. 105 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,536 - She did? 106 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,973 - Yes, and then he told me and robert. 107 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,842 Oh, and don't go telling anybody, all right? 108 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,410 It's a secret. 109 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,416 - Okay, I won't. 110 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,717 Why do you care? 111 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,419 - I don't care. 112 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:50,455 Robert's the one who was acting all cocky. 113 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,758 "amy's cooking. Ah." 114 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,731 - What, is this, like, some kind of competition between you two? 115 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,766 - No! What-- 116 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,568 - Oh, my god. It is! 117 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,604 Oh, you can't stand it that your mommy 118 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,806 Likes robbie's girl better than your girl. 119 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,712 - I'm a little insulted by that. 120 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,047 - You're insulted? 121 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,016 I'm just this thing in your stupid sibling rivalry. 122 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,552 - There is no rivalry. - Oh, no? 123 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,387 Robbie's got the better girl, ray. 124 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,924 We're behind. What are we gonna do? 125 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,526 - Where you going? 126 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,428 - Well, I've got a lot of work to do. 127 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,029 There's the evening gown competition. 128 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,666 There's swimsuit competition. 129 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,401 Oh, my god, talent competition. 130 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,969 What should I do, twirl or sing? 131 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,105 I know! I'll do both. 132 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,841 [singing] one, singular sensation 133 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,777 Every little step she takes 134 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,412 One 135 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,114 Thrilling combination 136 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,750 Every move that she makes 137 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,452 Idiot. 138 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,893 - Nice. Very nice. 139 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,762 Nice attitude. 140 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,765 Forget about miss congeniality, that's for sure. 141 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,771 I'm not an idiot. 142 00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,676 - Hi, raymond. 143 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,045 Listen, on Friday, amy's gonna cook-- 144 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:20,846 - Yeah, yeah, I know. 145 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,114 Robert just told me. 146 00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,115 - Oh, good. So you'll be there? 147 00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:26,017 Oh, robbie is so excited. 148 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,786 - Yeah, that's nice for him. Listen, ma... 149 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,955 - What? - I want to ask you something. 150 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,990 Sit down. 151 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,759 - All right. 152 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,031 - Why do you like amy more than debra? 153 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,700 - What? 154 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,402 - Yeah, dad told me. Dad told me that you liked-- 155 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,571 - He's lying. 156 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:50,809 - Did you say that you like amy more than debra? 157 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:54,479 - I am not 158 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,548 Saying that. 159 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,754 - What? 160 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:10,028 - I am not saying that I like amy more than debra. 161 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,965 - I know. I know you're not saying it now. 162 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,436 But did you say it ever? 163 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,076 What if I told you that we have a tape 164 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,012 Of you saying it, ma? 165 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,220 - Give me the tape. 166 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,856 - Yeah. There is no tape. 167 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,958 - Well, then you don't have any proof at all. 168 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,495 - Wait. Wait, mom. Why? Why did you tell dad that? 169 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,864 - It was supposed to be a secret. 170 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,200 I'm never gonna talk to that man again. 171 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,001 - Why don't you like debra? 172 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:53,104 - Honey, I love debra. 173 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,241 No, it's just that amy and I get along so well. 174 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:59,711 She's a very nice girl, you know? 175 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,813 - Well, so is debra. Debra's nice. 176 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,682 - No, I don't mean nice like that. 177 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,883 - Well, what? 178 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:11,623 - I mean, amy is a very nice and very good-- 179 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:15,126 She's a very good girl. 180 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,629 - So is debra. 181 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:20,966 - No. Good pure. 182 00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:24,569 - Pure? 183 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:31,009 Whoa, wait. 184 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,777 Wait! What? 185 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,813 Pure as in amy has never-- 186 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:38,617 - Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-- 187 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:43,522 I was supposed to keep that a secret. 188 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,758 - What? Amy is a good girl? 189 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:51,096 But she's 33 years old, ma. She can't be. 190 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,531 - She can't? 191 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,299 - I mean, yeah, she can, but how? 192 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,800 It's so... 193 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:59,304 - Refreshing? 194 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,874 - Wow, I don't believe it. 195 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,912 So amy's never let anybody cook in her kitchen either. 196 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,853 - I don't like that, raymond. 197 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:15,954 - Well, wait a minute. 198 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,890 Why is amy's goodness such a big deal? 199 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,959 - Because it tells me about her character, 200 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,028 The kind of person she is. 201 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,896 See, I think robert is very lucky 202 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,898 To find a girl like that. 203 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,234 - How do you know that I wasn't lucky too? 204 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,569 - What are you saying? 205 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,203 - How do you know that debra wasn't, 206 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,239 You know, when we got married? 207 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,609 - You mean debra was a good girl? 208 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:55,093 - Listen, my mom was just here, and we were talking, 209 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,761 And it hit me. 210 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,630 I was, I was being competitive 211 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:02,334 About amy and robert and my mom, and 212 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,035 I'm sorry, 213 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,036 Really sorry. 214 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:09,040 I mean, you know, who cares what your mom thinks? 215 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,809 - You're right. 216 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,377 You are. You're right. 217 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,113 In fact, you should hear the reason 218 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,148 Why she likes amy more than you. 219 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,352 Oh. [laughs] 220 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:22,854 Oh, man. She's nuts, that lady. 221 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,889 - Why? What? What did she say? 222 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,957 - Well, first of all, 223 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,094 Did you know that amy has never-- 224 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:32,797 [clicking tongue] 225 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,634 Huh? She's saving up for later. 226 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,268 - That's supposed to be a secret. 227 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,372 Who told you that? - My mom. 228 00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,941 - She did? - Yeah, can you believe it? 229 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,977 That's it! That's her whole reason. 230 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,080 - Because amy's a-- - good girl. Good girl. 231 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,349 That's what she's calling her, a good girl. 232 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,285 - Oh, my god. 233 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,288 - It's so shallow. 234 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,024 - What can I do? 235 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,992 I can't exactly compete with amy in that department. 236 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,895 You know, you can't un-ring a bell. 237 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,698 [both laughing] 238 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,301 Oh. - Nope. 239 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,770 You know what I did? 240 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,205 I told my mother that you were a good girl too. 241 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,709 [laughs] 242 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,944 [both laugh] 243 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:23,014 - Well, how does she think we got the kids? 244 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,784 - I meant before. You know, before we got married. 245 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,419 [laughs] 246 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:32,857 [laughs] 247 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,695 - You can stop laughing now, ray. 248 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,963 - I don't want to. 249 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,206 - Hi. - What, you get lost? 250 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,407 I'm starving here! 251 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,176 - The babysitter just got there. 252 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,011 - Yeah, yeah. Let's get going. 253 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,013 Appetizers, marie 254 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,283 - Welcome to la cucina dell' amy. 255 00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,051 May I take your coats? 256 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,720 - I got it, robert. 257 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,189 - Hi, raymond. - Hi. 258 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,357 - Oh, debra. 259 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,294 Oh. 260 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,429 I'm so glad you're here. 261 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,964 Oh, come on. Come on. Come on. 262 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,066 I need your opinion on this sauce. 263 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,769 - Really? - Yes, of course. 264 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,939 - Mmm. Yeah, tastes good. 265 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,040 - Good. 266 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,041 - What's your secret? 267 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,809 Extra-virgin olive oil? 268 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:30,415 You boys take the appetizers and get out of here now. 269 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,083 And let us finish in here. 270 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,251 - Okay. All right. 271 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,252 Come on, debra. Let's go. 272 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:39,991 I want debra to stay and help me with the salad. 273 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,093 - Love your haircut, deb. - Oh, thanks. 274 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,028 - Oh, yeah, it's very good. 275 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,398 - Oh, well, you know me, good hair for a good girl. 276 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,834 [chuckles] 277 00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,804 Yeah, want to look good, want to be good. 278 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,339 Good, good, good. 279 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,775 - Okay, let's get going. 280 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,409 Let's let amy and mom finish up here. 281 00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,878 - No, no, no. Let-- 282 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,146 - No, no, it's amy's dinner, you know, 283 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:04,516 And we wouldn't want to ruin it. 284 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,152 - Are you happy now? - No. 285 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,787 - Why? Your mom likes me. 286 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:12,957 - I'm sorry. 287 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,093 - Hey, ray, try one of these garlic rounds. 288 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,428 Amy made them. 289 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,798 - Okay, dinner will be ready in just a few minutes. 290 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,799 - Thank god! 291 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:24,469 - Isn't this fun? [giggling] 292 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,372 You and I should make a big meal 293 00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,240 For the family together. 294 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,341 How long has it been? 295 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,810 - Oh, gosh, pretty long. 296 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,379 Let's see, uh, never. 297 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,380 - No! [laughs] 298 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,348 No. 299 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,550 Never? - No. 300 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:39,918 - Oh, we'll just have to do it. 301 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,952 - Oh, that's okay. 302 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,453 - No, we'll have lots of fun. 303 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,589 - That's okay, marie. - Oh, you know what? 304 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,091 You can make your lemon chicken. 305 00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:50,228 - All right, stop it, ma, huh? Just stop it. 306 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,462 - What? 307 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,231 - Stop being nice to debra. 308 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,333 - Ugh. 309 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,368 Don't bother, ray. - No, this is crazy. 310 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,370 She can't keep treating you like this. 311 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,972 - I shouldn't be nice? 312 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,440 - You're being nice for the wrong reasons! 313 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,909 You know she can't cook. 314 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,014 And what I said about debra? 315 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,350 I lied, okay? I lied! 316 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,885 - What do you mean? 317 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,920 - Debra wasn't a good girl when we got married. 318 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,323 - Oh! - Huh? 319 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,024 - What do you mean, a good girl? 320 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,460 - Go ahead, ray. Tell him. 321 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,096 - Oh, you weren't a good girl. 322 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,398 [laughs] got ya. 323 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:32,904 So who cares about the cooking? 324 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,440 - Why would you lie to me, raymond? 325 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,442 - Because of you. You. 326 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,311 You care so much about who's a good girl and who's not. 327 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,579 You started this whole competition 328 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,281 Between debra and amy. 329 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,449 - Here we go. 330 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,152 What competition? 331 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,889 - [clears throat] don't worry. You win. 332 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,961 - And if I'm following this right, you lose. 333 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,502 - What are you guys talking about? 334 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,504 - You weren't supposed to say anything. 335 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,039 - That's why you like amy better, 336 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,141 'cause she hasn't been around the block? 337 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,542 Why didn't you tell me that? 338 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:16,147 - It was a secret, frank! 339 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,415 - Yes. 340 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,219 It was a secret. 341 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:25,023 - Amy, what did you tell marie that for? 342 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:28,393 - I didn't tell marie. - Well, I didn't tell her. 343 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,694 - Robert? 344 00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:37,368 - I'm sorry. 345 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,971 I haven't been paying attention. 346 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,013 - All right, let me fill you in. 347 00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,683 We just found out that you told ma-- 348 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:55,954 - Okay, raymond. I'm up to speed. 349 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,422 - How come you told your mother about amy? 350 00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:00,425 You didn't tell me. - You didn't ask. 351 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,060 - You asked? 352 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,529 - I care about people. 353 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,731 - Marie, why would you ask that about me? 354 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,334 - Uh, you know, I can explain it. 355 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,269 Run. 356 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,672 Just run, and keep running. 357 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,675 - Robert, why would you tell your mother that? 358 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,177 - So she'd like you better. 359 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,211 - You're worse. 360 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,413 You lied so she'd like me better. 361 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:26,050 - A lie of love. 362 00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,252 - Oh, god, I keep forgetting 363 00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,188 What a freak show this family is 364 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,757 Until somebody new comes in and looks at us like that. 365 00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,566 I remember that look. 366 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,135 That used to be me. 367 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,772 And now I'm one of them. 368 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,674 - I take exception to that, debra. 369 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,609 - Well, I take exception to what you think, marie. 370 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,277 You think just because you were a good girl 371 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,612 In the '50s, that gives you the right-- 372 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,381 - Good girl? Ha! 373 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,782 - Oh, frank, no! 374 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,217 - Oh, god. 375 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,120 - What the hell are you talking about? 376 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:07,291 - Is that true, marie? 377 00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:10,094 - [stammering] 378 00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,632 - Go ahead, marie. 379 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,201 I won't tell anyone. 380 00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:23,775 - Okay! Yes! 381 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:38,189 Frank and I succumbed to temptation once, 382 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,625 Just once before we were married. 383 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,327 I was weak, 384 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:47,398 And I fell for your father's boyish good looks. 385 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,270 That was a long time ago. 386 00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:56,808 I knew it. 387 00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,676 I knew we shouldn't do what we did, 388 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,612 But we were in love, right, frank? 389 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,182 - I wanted sex. 390 00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,757 It was a long time ago. 391 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,696 - So it was just the once, and then you got married? 392 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,665 - It was just the once, and then we had to get married! 393 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:24,168 - Frank, no! 394 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:27,839 - Oh, whoa. Had to get married? 395 00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,574 Wait. Wait a minute. 396 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,410 So robert's-- 397 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:36,414 - What? 398 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:40,518 Oh. 399 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,855 - All right. It's true. 400 00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:46,891 We got married 401 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:50,294 After I found out I was pregnant. 402 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:54,532 And then robbie came along seven months later. 403 00:18:54,534 --> 00:19:00,171 - Our plan was to tell people he was two months premature. 404 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,140 Then he was born. 405 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:05,810 Try passing off a 12-pound baby as premature. 406 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:15,786 - Try passing it, period. 407 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,355 - All right. Wait a minute. 408 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,658 Wait, it's nine months, right? 409 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,928 You were married in September, and my birthday's in June. 410 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,731 - That's when we told you your birthday was. 411 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,799 - What? 412 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,201 - It was-- 413 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,936 It was easier that way, robbie. 414 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:35,573 - Oh, well, as long as it was easy! 415 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,478 Well, there you go, raymond. 416 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,415 You were conceived legitimately. 417 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:48,452 You win again. 418 00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,289 - Come on, robert, what? There's no winning. 419 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,365 - Well, I guess I should know. 420 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,934 When is my real birthday? 421 00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:06,370 - April 6th. 422 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,972 - That's today. 423 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,545 - Surprise. 424 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:31,862 [singing quietly] happy birthday to you 425 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:37,435 All: Happy birthday to you 426 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:43,774 Happy birthday, dear robert 427 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:49,380 Happy birthday to you 428 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,015 - Happy birthday. - Happy birthday, honey. 429 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,016 - Happy birthday. 430 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,319 - [singing] how old am I now? 29186

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