Original subtitles

- Grandpa, will you help me with my homework?

- Nope.

- Frank.

- How else is she gonna learn?

Nobody handed me any answers.

- Clearly.

Listen, she's doing a family tree for school.

She has to interview a relative.

- Your favorite relative?

- No. The oldest.

- Well, I'm not the oldest person in the family.

Don't you have, like, some relatives

Living in Italy or something?

- Yeah, there might be somebody left.

Most of them came over in a sardine boat,

But my father had a sister who stayed behind in sicily.

Aunt sarina.

Zia sarina.

- Oh, she's still alive?

- Alive, dead, who knows?

- It's nice you're so close.

Hey, ally, maybe we could write her a letter, huh?

- Yeah, okay.

- Ray, do you know you might have relatives

Still living in Italy?

- Yeah? Oh, great.

You might be able to use the paper's research facilities

To find her.

Yeah, come on, she's family.

- Well, yeah, but...

Why would we want to locate more of these people?

- Mommy, I'm hot.

- Yeah. Me too, honey.

Hey, frank,

I think that heat's fixed enough, okay?

Thank you.

- I'll tell you when it's fixed.

[pipes clanging]

Hold that pipe up, robert, okay? Hold it up!

- It's hot, dad.

- What are you, a baby? Hold it up!

- Ow.

- Hi, debra.

- Hi, marie.

- My!

It's hot in here.

Are you baking?

Oh, what am I saying?

- I asked your husband if he knew a heating guy.

Turns out he's a heating guy.

- Hi.

Could use some ice.

- This is what happens when frank fixes things.

You remember the chimney, robbie?

- Yeah. I told him I was too big.

- Well, we're all set.

- Frank, it's a little hot in here.

- You're welcome.

- No, robert, we're not having that.

Here.

Defrost the corn.

- What are you doing?

Would you feel this?

It's too hot.

- That's your damn change of life.

- I went through that ten years ago.

- Then how about a change of personality?

- Hey.

- Oh, hi.

- Okay, I did some research.

Took me three hours. I located aunt sarina.

- Oh, great! - Yeah. Yeah.

- Really, daddy?

- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Her name is still barone.

You know, I guess she never married,

And, um, she lives in, uh,

A place called bisacquino.

It's in sicily, near palermo.

And she's got no phone, no address,

But you can write to her

Care of al ufficiado postale,

The village post office.

Why am I hot?

- All right, stop complaining.

Next time, pay a guy.

- I wanted to pay a guy. I would overpay a guy.

- What did you let my father fix the heat for?

- Don't you start with me, okay?

Listen, help ally write a letter to aunt sarina.

- It's too hot now.

- Come on, you know a little italian, don't you?

- Oh, hardly any.

No, frank and I only spoke italian when we were arguing

So that the boys wouldn't understand.

- We're almost fluent.

- Mommy, why didn't aunt sarina

Write back to me?

- Oh, honey, I know it's been three weeks,

But we don't even know if she's gotten the letter yet.

Listen, I think we're just gonna have to go with uncle mel, okay?

I mean, he's really very interesting.

- And just because I was never married

Doesn't mean I'm gay.

God, it's as hot as hell in here.

What are you trying to do,

Sweat the truth out of me?

- Mel, why don't you just tell ally

About where you grew up?

- Oh. Yeah.

Brooklyn was a pretty tough neighborhood.

I had at least one fight every day.

- Oh, come on, mel. A fight every day?

- That's right, every day since I was four

Until I entered the service.

- Mel, that's, like, 5,000 fights.

- Well, look at me.

Actually, I joined the army

To get away from the fighting.

[doorbell rings]

Although fighting is what made me tough.

Do you fight yet?

- Hey, uh, 320 fowler?

- Mm-hmm.

- $45.75 plus $1.50 toll.

- What?

- Taxi from kennedy airport.

$45.75 plus toll.

And you know, tip is good.

- Taxi for who?

- Ah...

La mia famiglia americana!

Ah! - What?

What?

I'm sorry. Who--who are you?

- La signora barone?

- Uh, yes.

- La signorina barone!

- I'm sorry, I don't...

Oh, this is the letter that we...Wrote...

Oh, my gosh.

Are--are you aunt sarina from Italy?

- Aunt sarina!

- Oh, che bella bambina!

Si, la zia sarina!

- What did she say?

- I don't know. Just hug her.

- Uh, the money, please, huh?

- Yeah, okay.

- Uh, excuse me.

Isn't anyone going to introduce me to this...

Exotic creature?

[all chatting excitedly]

- Delizioso! Oh!

- Smells like Italy!

Holy crap! That's good!

[all talking at once]

- Hello, hey.

Hey. Hello. Hey!

- Oh, hi, ray.

- Hey, ray, you're just in time for pizza.

- Raimondo! Oh!

- [chuckling]

Who is this?

- It's zia sarina. - Who?

- Your aunt from Italy.

- What?

- Yeah.

- Why?

- Because you kind of invited her.

- When? - The letter.

You said, "if you're ever in america,

Come and visit us."

- What, so she hops on a plane?

Well, who does that?

- A person who cares about family.

Ti posso aiutare.

- Oh, si. Grazie.

- I don't believe this.

- Per te. Per te.

- Ah, grazie.

Did you know we had an ancestor

Who was a count?

She said I look just like him.

That's right.

- Good, great, hey, why don't we send for him too?

- Oh, ray, come on, she's family.

- Plus she says the winters are very cold in Italy,

And the heat's not so good.

The heat's good here, huh?

Buono riscaldamento?

- Oh, si!

Molto buono.

[laughing]

- Wait, wait. Where is she staying?

- Here. - Here?

I--I put up a cot in your office for her.

- In my office?

Dad, why can't she stay at your house, huh?

She's your father's sister.

- We got only the one extra bedroom.

There's already a relative in it.

Unless you want to trade.

- Raimondo e molto stanco.

Perche no andate a casa vostra, mangiarla la pizza?

E ci vendiamo domani, ah?

[all talking at once]

- Did you see that?

She said something, and they just got up and left.

What did she say?

- I don't know. How long is she staying?

- As long as she can do that.

- Hey.

Hey. Yep. Uh...

Wait a minute. Wait a--ew.

- Oh, scusi.

Non ti preocupare. Non c'e problema.

- Well...

Dah.

Ah, you're wearing...

Okay.

Look, if you're going to sleep, I'll go upstairs.

- No, no, no, no. Tu lavora.

Lavora. - Yeah, all right.

I'm just gonna be a few minutes.

Then I'll get out of here.

- Cristo.

[mumbling in italian]

Ooh.

Sono tuoi,

Tutti questi premi?

- Yeah. Just some...Awards.

- Oh, sono maravigliosi! Oh!

- Oh, it's just a few awards. That's all.

- No, ay, sono molti, molti!

- Okay, molti, molti, molti.

- Oh, e, e questo?

Per che cosa l'ai vinto?

- That's sportswriter of the year.

- Eh?

- It's scrittore sportivo dell'anno.

- Scrittore sportivo dell'anno!

- Yeah. Yes.

- Oh, raimondo!

- Just...New york only. New york. Uh...

Solamente per new york.

- Nuova york!

Ma nuova york e grande!

Ah, nuova york...

Oh, mio nipote

E uno scrittore famoso.

- Ah, I'm not famous.

Come on. Get out of here.

- [laughing]

Oh!

Questo e joe dimaggio?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's joe dimaggio.

- Oh.

Joe dimaggio, e italiano, eh?

- Yeah, yeah.

He's italian, yeah.

- E tu sei un grande amico

Di joe dimaggio, eh?

- No, no, we're not friends.

I just-- I have the photograph.

That's all. - Eh?

- I, uh...

Solamente uno fotografia.

- Oh.

Peggio per lui.

Ma senti sicura che se joe dimaggio te conoscesse,

Che molto.

- [chuckles] wow. Thank you.

Hey, I'm sure he would like you too.

- Me? - Yeah.

- [laughing] no.

- Yeah.

- Non ti disturbo piu. Lavora te. Lavora.

- No, you're not bothering me.

- It's okay. I'm all right.

- No, no, no, no. Lavora, eh?

- All right. - Eh, lavora.

- Okay, I'll work just a few minutes.

- Buona notte,

Scrittore famoso.

[laughs]

- Good night.

Famous writer.

Well...

[all talking at once]

[all speaking italian]

- Oh, raimondo. Raimondo.

- Debra, debra. - Oh, no, no, no.

I already had four.

- Huh? - Four.

- What?

Wait, what did she say?

- What did she say?

Your grandma's involved in the mafia?

I knew it.

- Zia sarina,

C'e la luna.

- Ah, c'e la luna.

[both singing in italian]

- Nah.

- [singing in italian]

[all singing in italian]

C'e la luna.

- C'e la luna. - Trava.

- Mezz'o mare. - Mezz'o mare.

- Mamma mia. - Mamma mia.

[together] me maritari.

[all singing in italian]

- When is the next train?

Quando arriva il prossimo treno?

- Quando erriva prossimo treno?

- Bene.

How much is the fare to florence?

Quanto costa un biglietto per firenze?

- Quanto costa il biliete ti firenze?

- Bene.

Are there any first-class compartments

Available on the train to florence?

Ci sono rimasti dei biglietti

Di prima classe per firenze?

- Ci sono rimasti dei... Blah-blah-blah firenze?

- Molto bene--

- Good. Click!

- Hi, debra, honey.

- Hi, marie.

- Oh, isn't that a cute outfit?

- Oh, thank you, thank you.

- Here, you got to taste this gnocchi.

- Oh!

Oh, it's so good! Oh!

- It's zia sarina's recipe. - Mmm.

It's nice to have her here, isn't it?

- Oh, it's nice to have family.

Uh, let me help you here.

- Oh, grazie.

- Oh, ho-ho! That's very good!

Prego.

- Hi, girls!

[laughing]

It was right where you said it would be, marie.

You really got things organized well.

- Oh, thanks, honey.

Let me see. Ooh!

- Mm. Is that your father?

- Yeah, and his brothers and baby sarina.

- Oh, isn't she cute?

- Oh, and aren't those boys handsome?

It runs in the family.

- Hey.

All: Hey!

- Well, I finished both driveways.

- Aw. Grazie, robert.

- [italian accent] the village is now safe to drive in.

- You're our hero.

- Hey.

All: Hey!

- Hey, how you doing, ray?

- How're you doing? - Hey, how're you doing?

[both talking at once]

All: Hey!

- Hey, how was show and tell?

- Oh, the kids love zia sarina.

I told them she was a personal friend of pinocchio's.

[laughter]

- Mommy, I can speak italian.

- Really?

- Jeremy mette il dito nel naso.

All: Oh!

- That's great. Mm, what does it mean?

- "jeremy picks his nose."

Sit down. You know what else we found out?

Zia sarina had twin brothers.

- Wow! So twins run in the family.

- I guess so.

Dad, why didn't you ever tell us

Your father had twin brothers?

- He didn't.

- Luigi and enzo were twins.

- Who are luigi and enzo?

- They're your uncles.

You don't even know your own family.

- I know this is my father, alberto,

And his brothers, mario and--and ciccio

And federico,

And baby sarina.

No twins.

- E chi e questa gente?

- "who are these people?"

This is you.

This is your family.

Questa sei tu!

- No, no, no, no. Questa non sono io, no.

- Frank, you got the wrong picture!

- This is my family!

- Well, it's not her family.

- Oh, my god.

- Holy crap.

- Okay, so technically, we're not related,

But she can still stay.

- Well, her real family wants to see her.

- I finally had a favorite relative.

There's not even a runner-up.

[car whirs]

- Oh, that must be anna.

- Are you sure these barones are her barones?

- Yeah, yeah.

Anna is her brother's granddaughter.

- ♪[singing] c'e la luna mezz'o mare--

- Ah, enough already.

- She's here.

- Hi, I'm anna barone. Are you ray?

- Yes, hi, uh...

Come in. This is, um--

- Anna! - Zia sarina!

- Ahh... - Oh, zia!

- This is your aunt sarina.

- Oh, thank you so much for finding my zia sarina.

- She's a wonderful lady.

- That should've tipped us off right there.

You know, barones, we still could be something,

Distant cousins, maybe, or something?

- Ah, there's a lot of barones.

Some of them aren't even really barones.

- What do you mean?

- Well, my grandfather

Used to talk about this sardine packer,

And when he came to america,

He just called himself barone.

Stole our name.

- That sounds like us.

- You come visit me in Italy, eh?

- Yes, and you come back

And visit us here.

- Presto, presto.

Raimondo.

Aw.

- Okay. Bye-bye.

- Arrivederci.

Arrivederci.

- Ciao.

- Arrivederci.

- Bye-bye.

- So then who the hell are we?

- You okay?

- Figures.

The best person in our family,

And she's not in our family.

- I miss her.

- Yeah.

Me too.

Ti amo.

- What?

- Ti amo. It means--

- Yeah, I know what it means.

- Yeah. - You never say that.

- Well, it's easier in italian.

- Yeah.

Very romantic. - Yeah?

- Say something else.

- Mi fanno male I piedi.

- Mm.

What does that mean?

- My feet hurt.

- Say something else,

But don't translate it.

- [speaking italian]

- Mm.

[romantic italian music]