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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,636 --> 00:00:04,604 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,856 I SHOULD BE TUCKED UP IN A NICE WARM BED 3 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,958 IN MY CAFE COUNTING SHEEP. 4 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,661 INSTEAD, I AM STANDING HERE 5 00:00:27,663 --> 00:00:29,162 DISGUISED AS A MUSHROOM PICKER 6 00:00:29,164 --> 00:00:31,298 COUNTING COWS GOING THROUGH THIS GATE. 7 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,002 I WILL TELL YOU A SECRET-- 8 00:00:36,004 --> 00:00:39,406 NOT ALL OF THESE COWS ARE COWS. 9 00:00:39,408 --> 00:00:43,042 ONE OF THEM CONTAINS TWO ESCAPING BRITISH AIRMEN. 10 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,979 CAN YOU DETECT WHICH ONE? 11 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,122 Carstairs: HOLD ON A MINUTE, 12 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,124 I'VE LOST MY WATCH. 13 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,767 THAT WAS NOT VERY DIFFICULT, WAS IT? 14 00:01:07,769 --> 00:01:09,336 COME! WE MUST HURRY. 15 00:01:09,338 --> 00:01:11,705 THE PLANE WILL BE HERE IN FOUR MINUTES. 16 00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:14,241 WE MUST GET ACROSS THE ROAD BEHIND THE COPSE. 17 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:24,150 Carstairs: I HOPE THERE AREN'T ANY BULLS ABOUT. 18 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,786 Fairfax: I SHOULDN'T WORRY. THE OTHER COWS HAVE 19 00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:29,155 MUCH MORE INTERESTING BACKSIDES THAN YOURS. 20 00:01:31,626 --> 00:01:33,560 OH HECK, IT IS A GERMAN PATROL. 21 00:01:33,562 --> 00:01:36,329 - WHAT?! - GET DOWN! HIDE BEHIND THE HEDGE. 22 00:01:36,331 --> 00:01:37,430 ( blows lamp ) 23 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,938 HAVE YOUR GUNS AT THE READY. 24 00:01:52,647 --> 00:01:54,013 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 25 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:58,251 I AM A SIMPLE MILKING MAID. 26 00:01:58,253 --> 00:02:00,453 I AM TAKING THESE COWS TO THE MEADOW 27 00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:02,656 WHERE THEY WILL EAT THE GRASS. 28 00:02:02,658 --> 00:02:04,591 THE GREEN GRASS WILL MAKE THE MILK. 29 00:02:04,593 --> 00:02:07,260 THE MILK WILL MAKE THE BUTTER. 30 00:02:07,262 --> 00:02:10,163 AND THE BUTTER WE WILL SPREAD ON THE BREAD 31 00:02:10,165 --> 00:02:12,265 OF THE VICTORIOUS GERMAN SOLDIER. 32 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,101 WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE 33 00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:17,337 AND HE STARTS A LECTURE ON FARMING. 34 00:02:17,339 --> 00:02:18,738 WE ARE IN NEED OF SOME MILK. 35 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:20,840 KURT, LEND ME YOUR HELMET. 36 00:02:20,842 --> 00:02:22,975 I WILL OBTAIN SOME FROM THESE COWS. 37 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:26,012 BUT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN MILKED. 38 00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:28,381 WE NEED JUST A FEW SQUIRTS FOR OUR COFFEE. 39 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:33,320 OH MY GOD. 40 00:02:33,322 --> 00:02:36,088 THIS APPEARS TO BE A QUIET ONE. 41 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,792 IF THEY FIND OUT IT IS A WASHING UP GLOVE 42 00:02:38,794 --> 00:02:41,127 HANGING DOWN THERE, WE HAVE HAD IT. 43 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,163 ( gun cocks ) 44 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,932 ( guns cock ) 45 00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:49,502 UNFORTUNATELY, IT SEEMS TO HAVE VERY SMALL TITTIES. 46 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,213 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 47 00:03:00,215 --> 00:03:03,550 COME AWAY FROM THAT COW. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON PATROL. 48 00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:05,318 I AM SORRY, SERGEANT. 49 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,256 PUT YOUR HELMETS BACK ON. 50 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,658 GET INTO LINE. 51 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,294 QUICK, MARCH! 52 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,809 THAT WAS A NEAR THING. 53 00:03:29,811 --> 00:03:31,511 HE ACTUALLY GOT HOLD OF IT. 54 00:03:34,849 --> 00:03:36,583 OH MY GOD. 55 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:41,888 I WAS SO SCARED, I HAVE BEEN EATING A TOADSTOOL. 56 00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:43,857 I WILL PROBABLY DIE. ( retches ) 57 00:03:43,859 --> 00:03:45,392 BE QUIET. 58 00:03:45,394 --> 00:03:47,394 - ( airplane droning ) - I HEAR THE PLANE. 59 00:03:47,396 --> 00:03:48,928 WE MUST HURRY. 60 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,544 Edith: IT IS A VERY BIG ONE. 61 00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:06,946 I THINK IT IS A TRANSPORT PLANE. 62 00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,782 RENE, HOW CAN THAT GREAT BIG PLANE 63 00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:11,684 LAND IN THIS LITTLE FIELD? 64 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,889 IT IS NOT LANDING. LOOK! 65 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,897 Maria: THEY HAVE RELEASED TWO PARACHUTES. 66 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:34,807 THEY ARE GOING TO DROP THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WOOD. 67 00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:35,775 QUICK! 68 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,651 THEY MUST HAVE LANDED SOMEWHERE NEAR HERE. 69 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,188 Fairfax: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 70 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:50,957 I'M GOING NO FURTHER 71 00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:55,227 UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME WHAT'S GOING ON. 72 00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,730 I AGREE. 73 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,733 AH, I SEE SOMETHING. 74 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,071 IT IS A COPPER. 75 00:05:05,073 --> 00:05:07,206 I SAY, IS ANYONE DOWN THERE? 76 00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:09,075 OH MY GOD. 77 00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:12,011 NOT ANOTHER STUPID ENGLISHMAN! 78 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,048 I SAY, ARE YOU FROM H.Q.? 79 00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,149 WE RATHER THOUGHT THE PLANE WOULD LAND. 80 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,751 CHANGE OF PLAN. 81 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,721 WE'RE TRYING OUT A NEW ESCAPE PACKAGE. 82 00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:23,456 WE'D BETTER GET YOU DOWN, I SUPPOSE. 83 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,091 I SEEM TO BE A BIT STUCK. 84 00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:28,094 IF RENE HELD ME UP IN HIS STRONG ARMS, 85 00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:30,830 I COULD REACH UP AND PULL HIM DOWN. 86 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:33,199 HE COULD HOLD ME IN HIS STRONG ARMS. 87 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:36,435 OH, BUT I MIGHT DROP YOU, PRECIOUS. 88 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,675 COME ALONG. THIS WAY. 89 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,478 UP YOU GET. 90 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,585 QUICKLY, MARIA. 91 00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:55,021 ( Maria, Rene grunting ) 92 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,424 - ( squeals ) - ( rips ) 93 00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:01,193 WHAT'S GOING ON, FAIRFAX? 94 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,996 ONE OF THE BARMAIDS 95 00:06:02,998 --> 00:06:05,898 HAS PULLED THE POLICEMAN'S TROUSERS DOWN. 96 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,734 IT'S ALL A GO, ISN'T IT? 97 00:06:07,736 --> 00:06:10,703 - Yvette: SOMETHING IS GIVING. - Rene: WHAT? WHAT? 98 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,376 ( all panting ) 99 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,052 I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL RATHER EXCITING. 100 00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:28,420 WHY HAVE THEY SENT US ANOTHER ENGLISHMAN? 101 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,323 THEY SENT ME OVER BECAUSE I SPEAK FRENCH. 102 00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,192 THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT. 103 00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:36,029 THEY HAVE SENT HIM BECAUSE HE SPEAKS FRENCH. 104 00:06:36,031 --> 00:06:37,163 - OH! - AH! 105 00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:39,365 ( horrible French accent ) 'ALLO, EVERYBODY! 106 00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:42,368 AH, TO HEAR OUR OWN TONGUE. 107 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,810 I HAVE BRUNG GROOTINGS 108 00:06:50,812 --> 00:06:53,646 FROM BRITISH ONTELLIGENCE HEADQUITTERS. 109 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,050 WHAT DOES HE SAY? 110 00:06:57,052 --> 00:06:59,418 I THINK HE BRINGS GREETINGS 111 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,754 FROM INTELLIGENCE HEADQUARTERS. 112 00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:06,826 I HAVE DISGEESED AS POLOCEMAN 113 00:07:06,828 --> 00:07:10,830 SO I AM OBLE TO MOVE ABOOT WITH COMPLETE FRODOM. 114 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,935 DO YOU THINK HE WILL GET AWAY WITH THAT ACCENT? 115 00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:19,471 AS LONG AS HE DOES NOT SPEAK, YES. 116 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,774 WE WILL TELL EVERYONE THAT HE COMES 117 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,876 FROM A REMOTE VILLAGE IN THE COUNTRY. 118 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,245 ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF PEKING. 119 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,749 WE PICKED UP THIS PACKAGE. 120 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,386 THIS IS THE ESCOPE POOKAGE. 121 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:37,256 YOU MUST HEED IT IN YOUR SEALER. 122 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,927 - WHAT WAS THAT? - THE ESCAPE PACKAGE. 123 00:07:40,929 --> 00:07:42,829 YOU MUST HIDE IT IN THE CELLAR. 124 00:07:42,831 --> 00:07:45,231 HOW DOES HE KNOW I HAVE A CELLAR? 125 00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:47,566 IN LONDON, WE ARE NOT STEEPID. 126 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,036 WE KNOW EVERY MAUVE YOU MOOK. 127 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,944 Colonel: WHO IS IT? 128 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:02,081 IT IS I! HELGA! 129 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,048 ENTER. 130 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,658 - WAS YOUR MISSION SUCCESSFUL? - YES, COLONEL. 131 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,194 WHAT MISSION WAS THIS? I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT A MISSION. 132 00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:17,330 HANS, I DON'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING. 133 00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:20,065 THE LESS YOU KNOW ABOUT SOME THINGS, THE BETTER. 134 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,268 COME FORWARD AND STAND IN FRONT OF ME. 135 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,939 I DON'T WISH ANYONE TO SEE THROUGH THE WINDOWS 136 00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,907 WHAT WE ARE UP TO. 137 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,411 NOW... 138 00:08:32,413 --> 00:08:33,879 SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT. 139 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,051 GOOD. PERFECT. 140 00:08:39,053 --> 00:08:40,853 COLONEL... 141 00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:43,422 AM I ALLOWED TO SEE WHAT HELGA HAS GOT? 142 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,860 HELGA HAS A NORMAL KNOCKWURST. 143 00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:51,330 MADE BY A BUTCHER, WHICH WE'LL BE SENDING TO THE FUHRER. 144 00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:53,499 IT IS VERY SIMPLE. THE PRICELESS PORTRAIT 145 00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,668 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 146 00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,503 IS CONCEALED INSIDE A KNOCKWURST, 147 00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:59,372 WHICH IS HIDDEN IN RENE'S CELLAR. 148 00:08:59,374 --> 00:09:01,974 THE FORGED PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 149 00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,909 IS CONCEALED INSIDE A SIMILAR KNOCKWURST, 150 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,611 WHICH IS HANGING IN RENE'S KITCHEN. 151 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,546 THE KNOCKWURST CONCEALED ON MY PERSON 152 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:10,283 IS TO BE SENT TO HERR HITLER, WHO IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION 153 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:12,217 THAT IT CONTAINS THE ORIGINAL PAINTING 154 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,320 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES. 155 00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:16,289 - WHICH IS IN THE CELLAR. - WHICH HERR FLICK 156 00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:18,324 OF THE GESTAPO THINKS IS IN THE KITCHEN. 157 00:09:18,326 --> 00:09:20,826 I ONLY ASKED IF I COULD HAVE A LOOK. 158 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:23,862 - ( knocks on door ) - WHO IS IT? 159 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,898 IT IS ONLY ME, DEAR COLONEL-- 160 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,400 RENE FROM THE CAFE. 161 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,937 ( shouts ) COME INSIDE! 162 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,642 WE HAVE GOOD NEWS. 163 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,844 HELGA HAS A NORMAL KNOCKWURST 164 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,346 TO PUT ON THE TRAIN TO BERLIN 165 00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,214 FOR THE FUHRER. 166 00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:43,749 HELGA, SHOW HIM. 167 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,252 THANK YOU. 168 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,555 I MISSED IT AGAIN! 169 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,694 COLONEL, I HAVE BAD NEWS. 170 00:09:54,696 --> 00:09:55,961 THE RESISTANCE, 171 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,963 WHO I DO NOT KNOW VERY WELL, 172 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,265 HAVE REFUSED TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN. 173 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,435 THIS IS THE TRAIN CONTAINING THIS KNOCKWURST. 174 00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:04,637 IT MUST BE BLOWN UP SO THAT HITLER THINKS 175 00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:07,840 - THE PAINTING HAS BEEN DESTROYED. - I KNOW THAT BIT! 176 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:09,208 WHY DO THEY REFUSE? 177 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:12,345 THEY SAY THEY HAVE A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT, 178 00:10:12,347 --> 00:10:15,314 SOMETHING TO DO WITH AN AMMUNITION LORRY. 179 00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:17,616 DID YOU EXPLAIN TO THEM HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS? 180 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,085 YES, OF COURSE, DEAR COLONEL, BUT, 181 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,888 THEY DO NOT TAKE ALL THAT MUCH NOTICE OF ME. 182 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,623 WE BARELY NOD TO EACH OTHER 183 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,959 IN THE STREET, YOU UNDERSTAND? 184 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,295 I COULD TRY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE-- 185 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,331 THEY MIGHT DO IT FOR MONEY. 186 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,433 PARTY FUNDS ARE VERY LOW, I HAVE HEARD. 187 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,403 VERY WELL. GO BACK TO YOUR CAFE 188 00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:38,971 AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR US. 189 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,908 COULD YOU JUST LET ME HAVE A FEW THOUSAND FRANCS 190 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,711 TO PUT A DEPOSIT DOWN, JUST TO SHOW GOOD FAITH? 191 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:46,846 CERTAINLY NOT! 192 00:10:46,848 --> 00:10:49,014 YOU PAY THEM AND WE'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 193 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,884 - YES, COLONEL. - AND MAKE SURE YOU GET A RECEIPT. 194 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,790 NO, I DO NOT WISH TO GO IN. 195 00:10:57,792 --> 00:10:59,324 PUT ME BY THE TABLE. 196 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:05,297 - Leclerc: YES, MY LITTLE LOVE. - AND BRING ME A DRINK. 197 00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:08,768 BUT FANNY, WILL YOU NOT BE TOO CHILLY? 198 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:12,438 NO, NOT IF I HAVE A BIG GIN AND TONIC. 199 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,776 MY LOVE, MY FLOWER, 200 00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:19,211 I WOULD BUY FOR YOU THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT... 201 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,948 I DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY. 202 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,818 NOW THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S CAFE-- 203 00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:28,120 WE CAN HAVE FREEBIES. 204 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,457 HOW MUCH?! 205 00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:33,325 NOW LOOK HERE, 206 00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:35,561 IT IS JUST ONE LITTLE TRAIN. 207 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,597 SURELY YOU COULD BLOW IT UP 208 00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:40,232 FOR A BIT LESS THAN THAT. 209 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,969 IS THAT YOUR ROCK BOTTOM PRICE? 210 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,404 HANG ON A MINUTE. 211 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,881 NO, I CANNOT GO TO THAT. 212 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,918 HOW WOULD IT BE IF WE SUPPLY THE EXPLOSIVES? 213 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,953 NO, I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE MY NAME. 214 00:12:00,955 --> 00:12:02,354 IT IS JUST AN ENQUIRY. 215 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,591 HEY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 216 00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,495 IT IS I, LECLERC! 217 00:12:09,497 --> 00:12:10,696 I KNOW THAT. 218 00:12:10,698 --> 00:12:11,797 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, 219 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,265 HELPING YOURSELF TO MY GIN? 220 00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:17,035 IT IS MY GIN, FOR MY MAMMA. 221 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,205 GIVE HER A DOUBLE. 222 00:12:19,207 --> 00:12:20,940 LIEUTENANT GRUBER, 223 00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:23,175 YOU HAVE AGAIN PARKED YOUR ARMORED CAR 224 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,010 IN MY PLACE UNDER THE TREE. 225 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:27,279 I AM MOST SORRY, COLONEL. 226 00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:30,049 I HAVE JUST POLISHED IT AND IT LOOKED LIKE RAIN. 227 00:12:30,051 --> 00:12:31,484 I WILL MOVE IT. 228 00:12:31,486 --> 00:12:33,586 NO, WE SHALL ONLY BE HERE A FEW MINUTES. 229 00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,855 BUT DON'T DO IT AGAIN. 230 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,891 HEIL HITLER? 231 00:12:38,893 --> 00:12:41,561 AND DON'T TRY TO GET ROUND ME. 232 00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:45,998 RENE, THE NORMAL KNOCKWURST 233 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,767 IS ON THE NIGHT TRAIN TO BERLIN. 234 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:50,870 HELGA PUT IT ON NEXT TO THE AMMUNITION TRUCK. 235 00:12:50,872 --> 00:12:54,006 HERR FLICK SUPERVISED HER AND THEN SENT A TELEGRAM TO HITLER-- 236 00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:56,175 - SIGNED BY THE COLONEL. - GOOD NEWS, HUH? 237 00:12:56,177 --> 00:12:59,479 NO, UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE BAD NEWS. 238 00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:02,482 THE COMMUNISTS HAVE REFUSED TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN. 239 00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:04,083 REFUSED TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN? 240 00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:06,452 WHAT SORT OF COMMUNISTS ARE YOU DEALING WITH? 241 00:13:06,454 --> 00:13:09,421 WHOEVER HEARD OF A COMMUNIST WHO WOULDN'T BLOW UP A TRAIN? 242 00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:11,290 THAT MEANS HITLER WILL RECEIVE 243 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,825 A NORMAL KNOCKWURST. 244 00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:15,060 AND A TELEGRAM FROM THE COLONEL. 245 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,429 AND HE'LL FIND OUT THAT YOU NICKED HIS PAINTING. 246 00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:20,132 KNACKERED BY A KNOCKWURST. 247 00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:22,935 THAT WILL PUT KAPUT ON MY CAREER. 248 00:13:22,937 --> 00:13:24,069 GIVE ME A LARGE COGNAC. 249 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,137 YES, SIR. 250 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:28,107 COLONEL, ANTICIPATING THIS DEVELOPMENT, 251 00:13:28,109 --> 00:13:31,811 - I HAVE A FURTHER PLAN WHICH MAY YET SAVE US. - YOU HAVE? 252 00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:34,046 GIVE HER A COGNAC AS WELL. HERE. 253 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,115 RENE! 254 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,458 TELL US YOUR PLAN. 255 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,828 BUT TELL IT A BIT SLOWER THAN LAST TIME. 256 00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:51,864 A 20-MILLIMETER INCENDIARY SHELL 257 00:13:51,866 --> 00:13:54,099 ACCURATELY FIRED AT THE AMMUNITION TRUCK 258 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:57,003 WOULD BLOW IT UP AND ALSO DEMOLISH THE KNOCKWURST. 259 00:13:57,005 --> 00:13:58,571 THE RESISTANCE WILL BE BLAMED, 260 00:13:58,573 --> 00:14:00,773 WE ARREST A FEW PEASANTS AND SHOOT THEM, 261 00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:02,374 AND WE WILL ALL BE IN THE CLEAR. 262 00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:04,243 THAT'S IS ALL VERY WELL, HELGA, 263 00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:06,946 BUT WHERE DO WE GET A 20-MILLIMETER CANNON? 264 00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:08,447 AND WHO'S GOING TO FIRE IT? 265 00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:11,050 LIEUTENANT GRUBER HAS AN ARMORED CAR 266 00:14:11,052 --> 00:14:14,520 ON WHICH IS MOUNTED A 20-MILLIMETER CANNON. 267 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:18,925 HELLO. 268 00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:24,129 HE'LL NEVER LEND IT. HE'S VERY STINGY. 269 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,866 HE MIGHT LEND IT TO RENE. 270 00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:28,601 HE'S VERY FOND OF HIM. 271 00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,604 OH YES, I CAN JUST SEE THAT. 272 00:14:31,606 --> 00:14:33,539 "GOOD EVENING, LIEUTENANT GRUBER, 273 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,141 A SMALL SHERRY? WITH PLEASURE. 274 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,910 BY THE WAY, LIEUTENANT, 275 00:14:37,912 --> 00:14:41,280 I WONDER IF I MIGHT BORROW YOUR ARMORED CAR FOR THE EVENING? 276 00:14:41,282 --> 00:14:43,816 NO, THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO COME WITH ME. 277 00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:46,118 I JUST WISH TO DRIVE IT AROUND A LITTLE BIT, 278 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,788 SEE IF I CAN PULL A FEW BIRDS 279 00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:50,957 OR MAYBE SHOOT A PIGEON OR TWO 280 00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:53,025 WITH A 20-MILLIMETER SHELL!" 281 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,427 NO, RENE IS RIGHT. 282 00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,797 WE'LL HAVE TO KNOCK IT OFF WHEN HE'S NOT LOOKING. 283 00:14:57,799 --> 00:14:59,799 AND HE WILL BLAME IT ON THE RESISTANCE. 284 00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:02,301 AND WE CAN JUST SHOOT ANOTHER COUPLE OF PEASANTS. 285 00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:05,404 IF YOU GO ON AT THIS RATE, THERE'LL BE NOBODY LEFT IN THE VILLAGE! 286 00:15:05,406 --> 00:15:08,774 - IT IS A VERY GOOD PLAN, HELGA. - IT'S THE ONLY PLAN WE'VE GOT. 287 00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:11,310 AS SOON AS IT IS DARK, WE WILL ACT. 288 00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:12,845 ARE YOU WITH US, RENE? 289 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,315 ALL RIGHT, COLONEL. 290 00:15:16,317 --> 00:15:18,283 I WILL KEEP LIEUTENANT GRUBER TALKING 291 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,452 WHILE YOU NIP OFF, NICK THE ARMORED CAR, 292 00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:21,654 AND BLOW UP THE TRAIN. 293 00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,656 NO, RENE. I, AS A COLONEL, 294 00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:26,092 CANNOT GET INVOLVED IN A PLAN LIKE THIS. 295 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,328 I WILL DISTRACT GRUBER 296 00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:31,163 AND YOU, HANS, 297 00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:32,865 YOU WILL NICK THE ARMORED CAR. 298 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:36,869 BUT COLONEL, I AM A VERY BAD DRIVER. 299 00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:39,404 I ONLY HAVE A PROVISIONAL LICENSE. 300 00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:42,808 IT IS VERY HARD TO SEE OUT OF THOSE THINGS-- 301 00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:44,476 MY GLASSES WILL STEAM UP. 302 00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:46,345 I WILL GET LOST. 303 00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:48,881 RENE CAN SIT ON TOP, STICK HIS HEAD THROUGH THE HOLE, 304 00:15:48,883 --> 00:15:50,249 AND GUIDE YOU. 305 00:15:50,251 --> 00:15:52,151 BUT COLONEL, WOULD IT NOT BE BETTER 306 00:15:52,153 --> 00:15:54,353 IF HELGA DROVE AND THE CAPTAIN COULD SIT ON TOP 307 00:15:54,355 --> 00:15:55,721 AND STICK HIS HEAD OUT-- 308 00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:57,790 I HAVE AN ASSIGNATION WITH HERR FLICK. 309 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,258 CAN YOU NOT BREAK IT? 310 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,593 ONE DOES NOT STAND UP THE GESTAPO. 311 00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:03,829 - WHAT TIME IS THE TRAIN? - 10:00. 312 00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:06,431 VERY WELL. WE ALL MEET HERE AT 9:30. 313 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,468 I WILL TAKE CARE OF GRUBER. 314 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,203 YOU ALL TAKE CARE OF THE TRAIN. 315 00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,372 GOOD NIGHT, RENE. GOOD NIGHT, COLONEL. 316 00:16:13,374 --> 00:16:15,041 YOU ARE NOT GOING? 317 00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,909 NOT IN YOUR ARMORED CAR? 318 00:16:16,911 --> 00:16:19,578 YES, I THINK I WILL HAVE AN EARLY NIGHT. 319 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,147 NONSENSE. 320 00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:22,682 I HOPE YOU ARE NOT GOING 321 00:16:22,684 --> 00:16:24,550 BECAUSE I WAS CROSS WITH YOU. 322 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,520 I WAS A BIT UPSET. 323 00:16:28,522 --> 00:16:31,757 DON'T BE UPSET, GRUBER. 324 00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:35,094 - WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME? - HUBERT. 325 00:16:35,096 --> 00:16:37,763 DON'T BE UPSET, HUBERT. 326 00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:39,098 I LIKE YOU. 327 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,265 HANS LIKES YOU. 328 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,934 RENE LIKES YOU. 329 00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:45,404 AND THE GIRLS, THEY LIKE YOU, TOO. 330 00:16:45,406 --> 00:16:46,471 I TELL YOU WHAT-- 331 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,507 COME ROUND HERE ABOUT 9:30, 332 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,442 AND WE'LL HAVE DINNER TOGETHER. 333 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,878 AND BRING YOUR ARMORED CAR. 334 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,379 SUDDENLY I AM FEELING BETTER. 335 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,616 SUDDENLY I AM FEELING WORSE. 336 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,087 CAN I HELP YOU, OFFICER? 337 00:17:01,089 --> 00:17:04,757 AN OLDERLY LODY OUTSIDE IN A BETH CHAIR 338 00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,525 HAS BEEN HITTING THE BOOTLE. 339 00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:13,165 - WHAT? - HER IS DRUNK. 340 00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:15,000 HER IS POST AS A NEWT. 341 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,003 OH MY GOD! 342 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:21,941 - BOCHE SWINE! - FANNY, NO, NO, NO! 343 00:17:21,943 --> 00:17:23,308 HEIL HITLER! 344 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,444 YOU SHALL NOT ENTER THE CAFE OF MY DAUGHTER. 345 00:17:25,446 --> 00:17:27,546 FANNY, PLEASE, DO NOT TAKE ON SO, 346 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:29,882 WE'LL ALL FINISH UP IN THE COOLER! 347 00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,951 STOP IT, YOU SILLY OLD BAT! 348 00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:33,152 THESE ARE MY CUSTOMERS. 349 00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,320 ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY BUSINESS? 350 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,290 IT IS MY DAUGHTER'S BUSINESS. 351 00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:40,525 YOU ARE ON THE WAY OUT! 352 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,794 GET HER INSIDE, PLEASE?! 353 00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:44,063 WELCOME, GENTLEMEN. YOUR TABLE IS READY. 354 00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:45,497 STOP! GENTLEMEN! 355 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,432 PLEASE, COME BACK, GENTLEMEN. 356 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:49,101 SHE IS POTTY IN THE HEAD. 357 00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:52,271 I HAVE YOUR WINDOW TABLE FOR YOU, PLEASE... 358 00:17:52,273 --> 00:17:53,873 DON'T WORRY, RENE. 359 00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,674 HUBERT AND I WILL TAKE IT. 360 00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:57,877 WON'T WE, HUBERT? 361 00:17:57,879 --> 00:17:59,544 YOU ARE MOST KIND, COLONEL. 362 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,580 CAN I GIVE ANYONE A LIFT? 363 00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,850 GIVE HANS A LIFT, LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR CANNON. 364 00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,919 COME ALONG THEN, CAPTAIN. 365 00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:09,688 I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT FUN AN ARMORED CAR CAN BE. 366 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,792 9:30, RENE. 367 00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:14,026 WATER THE WINE, 368 00:18:14,028 --> 00:18:16,996 AND TAKE THE FLOWERS OFF THE TABLE. 369 00:18:16,998 --> 00:18:19,198 I SPIT ON YOU! 370 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,299 GERMAN PIG! 371 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,407 10 MINUTES IS UP. 372 00:18:28,409 --> 00:18:31,510 YOU MAY NOW COME OUT OF THE CORNER. 373 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,514 YES, HERR FLICK. 374 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,786 LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU. 375 00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:43,822 NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU BURN MY TOAST. 376 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,661 YES, HERR FLICK. MAY I SIT? 377 00:18:48,663 --> 00:18:49,795 YES. 378 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,166 YOU MAY CONTINUE WITH YOUR TEA. 379 00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:57,436 I HAVE KEPT YOUR EGG WARM UNDER THE COZY. 380 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,908 YOU HAVE A VERY KIND STREAK IN YOUR NATURE. 381 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:05,877 I NEARLY FAILED MY GESTAPO EXAMS 382 00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:07,546 BECAUSE OF IT. 383 00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:10,115 IT IS A VERY STRONG SHELL. 384 00:19:10,117 --> 00:19:12,518 HIT IT HARD WITH YOUR SPOON. 385 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,854 THEY ALWAYS BREAK IN THE END. 386 00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:18,557 YOU ARE LOOKING PENSIVE, HERR FLICK. 387 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,792 I AM TRYING TO DECIDE 388 00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:22,928 WHAT TO DO WITH YOU TONIGHT. 389 00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:25,030 I SEE, HERR FLICK. 390 00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:27,299 I MIGHT TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES. 391 00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:28,534 WHAT IS SHOWING? 392 00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:30,603 ANYTHING WE LIKE. 393 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,974 OR WE COULD STAY HERE AND AMUSE OURSELVES. 394 00:19:35,976 --> 00:19:38,810 I HAVE A BOX OF SHARP NEEDLES SOMEWHERE. 395 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,815 AHH, HERE THEY ARE. 396 00:19:43,817 --> 00:19:45,817 WHAT HAVE YOU IN MIND, HERR FLICK? 397 00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:49,355 I HAVE AN EXCELLENT GRAMOPHONE, 398 00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:51,957 AND MANY RECORDS OF HITLER'S SPEECHES. 399 00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:55,127 THEY ARE QUITE AMUSING. 400 00:19:55,129 --> 00:19:57,496 HITLER'S SPEECHES, QUITE AMUSING? 401 00:19:57,498 --> 00:20:00,332 PLAYED AT DOUBLE SPEED, 402 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,670 HE SOUNDS LIKE DONALD DUCK. 403 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,308 ♪ JUST SEE WHAT THE BOYS ♪ 404 00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:11,744 ♪ IN THE BACK ROOM WILL HAVE ♪ 405 00:20:11,746 --> 00:20:14,212 ♪ AND TELL THEM I SIGHED ♪ 406 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,782 ♪ AND TELL THEM I CRIED ♪ 407 00:20:16,784 --> 00:20:19,151 ♪ AND TELL THEM I DIED ♪ 408 00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:23,589 ♪ OF THE SAAA-AAAME. ♪ 409 00:20:23,591 --> 00:20:25,824 ( silent response ) 410 00:20:25,826 --> 00:20:28,126 THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND APPLAUSE. 411 00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:31,497 NOW, PLEASE, WILL YOU SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION 412 00:20:31,499 --> 00:20:33,732 FOR OUR PIANIST, MONSIEUR LECLERC? 413 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,071 THE LIEUTENANT IS HERE. 414 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:42,107 COLONEL? 415 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,242 COLONEL! 416 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,314 I'M SORRY, RENE. THE CHEESE, YOU KNOW? 417 00:20:48,316 --> 00:20:49,915 LOOK. 418 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,519 I WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM. 419 00:20:53,521 --> 00:20:55,187 YOU AND HANS KNOW WHAT TO DO? 420 00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:57,656 I AM SORRY I AM LATE, COLONEL. 421 00:20:57,658 --> 00:20:59,425 PERHAPS YOUR ARMORED CAR WOULD NOT START, 422 00:20:59,427 --> 00:21:00,892 YOU HAD TO LEAVE IT AT THE BARRACKS? 423 00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:02,461 SHE STARTED ON THE BUTTON. 424 00:21:02,463 --> 00:21:04,463 BUT SHE WAS NEARLY OUT OF GASOLINE. 425 00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:05,831 - GOOD. - SO I FILLED HER UP. 426 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,301 THAT'S OUR TABLE OVER THERE. 427 00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,069 OH, HOW COZY. 428 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,505 TAKE THIS. 429 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,909 RENE, HANS, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 430 00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:20,446 - GOOD LUCK TO YOU. - COLONEL... 431 00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:22,348 HE HAS JUST TAKEN THE FLOWERS 432 00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:24,850 FROM THE NEXT TABLE. GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO. 433 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:29,455 CAPTAIN. 434 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,624 DEAR COLONEL, WOULD YOU PREFER 435 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:34,727 YOUR BACK TO THE WALL OR THE ROOM? 436 00:21:34,729 --> 00:21:36,729 I THINK THE WALL. 437 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,299 SIT DOWN, HUBERT, 438 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,702 AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOURSELF. 439 00:21:43,704 --> 00:21:45,971 WELL, IT HAS BEEN A HARD DAY. 440 00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,873 I AM QUITE HOARSE, YOU KNOW, 441 00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:49,775 FROM ORDERING SOLDIERS ABOUT. 442 00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:52,378 YES, IT'S HARD BEING A GERMAN OFFICER, 443 00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:55,247 ALL THAT SHOUTING AND STAMPING OF FEET. 444 00:21:55,249 --> 00:21:57,315 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO THEY? 445 00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,017 I FEAR THEY DO NOT. 446 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,857 DO WE HAVE A KEY OR A TIN OPENER? 447 00:22:05,859 --> 00:22:09,294 THEY DO NOT LOCK. AFTER ALL, WHO WOULD NICK AN ARMORED CAR? 448 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,935 WEAR THIS. 449 00:22:16,937 --> 00:22:18,069 WHAT FOR? 450 00:22:18,071 --> 00:22:20,071 IF THE RESISTANCE TAKE A POT SHOT AT YOU 451 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:22,941 - IT WILL BOUNCE OFF. - BOUNCE OFF?! 452 00:22:22,943 --> 00:22:25,244 I AM NOT STICKING MY HEAD OUT OF THERE. 453 00:22:25,246 --> 00:22:26,311 I'LL DRIVE. 454 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,661 START THE ENGINE! 455 00:22:42,663 --> 00:22:44,496 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 456 00:22:44,498 --> 00:22:45,930 SORRY. 457 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,535 IT IS THAT LITTLE KNOB IN FRONT. 458 00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:52,304 ( engine cranks ) 459 00:22:52,306 --> 00:22:54,273 GIVE IT A BIT MORE CHOKE. 460 00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,709 ( engine starts ) 461 00:22:57,711 --> 00:22:59,144 FORWARD! 462 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,883 I SAID FORWARD, YOU ARE GOING BACKWARDS! 463 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,521 DID I HIT SOMETHING? 464 00:23:09,523 --> 00:23:11,723 THE COLONEL'S CAR! 465 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:12,891 HE WILL DO HIS NUT. 466 00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:18,797 NEVER MIND. 467 00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:20,532 HE WILL BLAME THE RESISTANCE 468 00:23:20,534 --> 00:23:22,367 AND SHOOT A COUPLE OF PEASANTS. 469 00:23:22,369 --> 00:23:24,269 WHAT AM I SAYING? 470 00:23:24,271 --> 00:23:26,438 HOW EASY IT IS TO SLIP INTO THE WAYS 471 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,139 OF BEING A NAZI. 472 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,713 AH, GOOD EVENING, COLONEL. 473 00:23:34,715 --> 00:23:37,749 WAS EVERYTHING TO YOUR SATISFACTION? 474 00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:40,118 UP TO A POINT. 475 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,986 YOU KNOW ME, YVETTE. 476 00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:44,055 COLONEL... 477 00:23:44,057 --> 00:23:47,292 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SIT UPON YOUR... KNEE? 478 00:23:47,294 --> 00:23:49,294 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BIT OF FUN, 479 00:23:49,296 --> 00:23:50,895 DOESN'T IT, HUBERT? 480 00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:52,764 IF YOU SAY SO, COLONEL. 481 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,835 SHALL I REST ON YOUR KNEE, LIEUTENANT GRUBER? 482 00:23:56,837 --> 00:23:58,237 WELL... 483 00:23:58,239 --> 00:24:00,672 GO ON, HUBERT. YOU'RE IN THE TANK CORPS. 484 00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,474 IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOUR IMAGE. 485 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:12,083 ARE THE DROVER OF ARMORED CURR 4219 ON THE CAFE? 486 00:24:12,085 --> 00:24:14,253 4219? THAT IS MY ARMORED CAR. 487 00:24:14,255 --> 00:24:17,789 IT HAS BEEN DROVEN AWAR BY TWO MIN. 488 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,424 YOU FOOL! 489 00:24:19,426 --> 00:24:21,393 MY ARMORED CAR IS STOLEN?! 490 00:24:21,395 --> 00:24:22,927 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, HUBERT. 491 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:24,429 IT'S PROBABLY SOME LOCAL BOYS 492 00:24:24,431 --> 00:24:25,830 PLAYING A LITTLE PRANK. 493 00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:28,567 I MUST REPORT IT AT ONCE TO MY HEADQUARTERS. 494 00:24:28,569 --> 00:24:30,269 JUST THINK HOW CROSS THEY WILL BE 495 00:24:30,271 --> 00:24:33,004 WHEN THEY'VE FOUND OUT YOU'VE LOST YOUR ARMORED CAR. 496 00:24:33,006 --> 00:24:35,407 BELIEVE ME, IT'LL COME BACK IF YOU'RE PATIENT. 497 00:24:35,409 --> 00:24:37,409 BUT WHAT IF IT DOES NOT? 498 00:24:37,411 --> 00:24:39,578 AND WHAT AM I DOING HOLDING THIS GIRL? 499 00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:40,612 AARGHH! 500 00:24:40,614 --> 00:24:42,781 I KNOW, I WILL REPORT IT AT ONCE 501 00:24:42,783 --> 00:24:44,483 TO HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO. 502 00:24:44,485 --> 00:24:46,752 HE WILL MAKE DISCREET ENQUIRIES. 503 00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:49,755 HE OWES ME A FAVOR. 504 00:24:56,562 --> 00:24:58,597 WHY HAVE WE LEFT THE MAIN ROAD? 505 00:24:58,599 --> 00:25:01,433 A MOTORCYCLE WAS FOLLOWING US. 506 00:25:01,435 --> 00:25:04,503 DON'T WORRY, THIS LANE LEADS TO THE RAILWAY LINE. 507 00:25:06,706 --> 00:25:08,774 IS HE STILL FOLLOWING? 508 00:25:08,776 --> 00:25:10,475 JUST A MINUTE, I WILL HAVE A LOOK. 509 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,646 - ( metal clangs ) - Hans: OOOF! 510 00:25:15,782 --> 00:25:17,649 CAN YOU SEE THE MOTORCYCLE? 511 00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:21,119 NOT AT THE MOMENT. 512 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:26,625 ( record playing at high speed ) 513 00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:38,537 ( high speed anthem playing ) 514 00:25:38,539 --> 00:25:39,805 ( phone rings ) 515 00:25:39,807 --> 00:25:41,272 STOP THE MACHINE! 516 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,743 ( rings ) 517 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,447 FLICK-- THE GESTAPO. 518 00:25:48,449 --> 00:25:51,282 NO, I SAID, FLICK, THE GESTAPO. 519 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,221 YES, GRUBER. 520 00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:01,125 YES, GRUBER. 521 00:26:02,662 --> 00:26:04,529 YES, GRUBER. 522 00:26:04,531 --> 00:26:06,398 YOU ARE VERY CARELESS! 523 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,167 STAY WHERE YOU ARE. I WILL COME AT ONCE. 524 00:26:09,169 --> 00:26:10,935 YOU WILL COME WITH ME. 525 00:26:15,441 --> 00:26:18,543 HOLD MY SCHMEISSER WHILE I REMOVE MY CARPET SLIPPERS. 526 00:26:26,419 --> 00:26:28,353 I CAN SEE THE RAILWAY LINE. 527 00:26:28,355 --> 00:26:30,121 STOP HERE. 528 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,497 ( train chugging faintly ) 529 00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:40,231 I CAN HEAR THE TRAIN COMING. 530 00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:42,401 OH, DEAR. PASS ME A SHELL. 531 00:26:42,403 --> 00:26:45,637 - WELL, WHERE ARE THEY? - THEY MUST BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE. 532 00:26:45,639 --> 00:26:47,338 TRY THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT. 533 00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:51,710 HAVE YOU FOUND ANYTHING? 534 00:26:51,712 --> 00:26:53,712 JUST SOME LADIES UNDERWEAR-- 535 00:26:53,714 --> 00:26:55,514 AND SOME SHAVING LOTION. 536 00:26:55,516 --> 00:26:57,382 ( train whistles ) 537 00:26:57,384 --> 00:26:59,117 AH, I HAVE ONE. 538 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,852 GOOD. WELL, HURRY UP. 539 00:27:00,854 --> 00:27:02,120 IT IS GETTING NEARER. 540 00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:04,389 I THINK IT IS LOADED. NOW, I HAVE TO AIM 541 00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:06,658 FOR THE THIRD WAGON FROM THE END. 542 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:09,193 - YES, GOOD LUCK. - PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR EARS. 543 00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:10,896 THERE MAY BE A BIG BANG. 544 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:13,998 I CAN SEE IT. 545 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000 ONE, TWO, THREE... 546 00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,302 THAT'S THE ONE. 547 00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,076 MISSED! 548 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,146 QUICK, ANOTHER SHELL. 549 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,917 CAN YOU GET A LITTLE BIT NEARER? 550 00:27:31,919 --> 00:27:33,785 NO, I CAN NOT. 551 00:27:33,787 --> 00:27:36,955 ONE, TWO THREE... 552 00:27:36,957 --> 00:27:38,323 ( cannon fires ) 553 00:27:42,462 --> 00:27:45,430 YOU HAVE BLOWN UP THE SIGNAL BOX. 554 00:27:45,432 --> 00:27:47,632 I THINK THE BARREL IS BENT. 555 00:27:47,634 --> 00:27:49,734 THERE GOES THE TRAIN. 556 00:27:49,736 --> 00:27:51,937 THERE GOES HITLER'S SAUSAGE. 557 00:27:51,939 --> 00:27:54,940 DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CATCH IT UP FURTHER DOWN THE LINE? 558 00:27:54,942 --> 00:27:56,074 NO, 559 00:27:56,076 --> 00:27:58,409 THE WAY I DRIVE, I WOULD NEVER CATCH IT. 560 00:27:58,411 --> 00:28:00,612 AND THE WAY YOU SHOOT, YOU WOULD NEVER HIT IT. 561 00:28:00,614 --> 00:28:02,714 I THINK WE GO HOME. 562 00:28:06,853 --> 00:28:09,855 ( theme music playing ) 55430

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