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1
00:00:00,289 --> 00:00:01,914
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,505 --> 00:00:03,558
Want to grab some lunch?
3
00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:06,542
You know what? I don't think so.
4
00:00:06,872 --> 00:00:08,544
Oh, let me guess, you're not eating...
5
00:00:08,624 --> 00:00:11,852
...because the mean girls
circled your chubby bits in marker?
6
00:00:13,106 --> 00:00:14,501
No. That, that right there.
7
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,840
That's the reason.
You're always making fun of me.
8
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:18,895
Those are just jokes.
9
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:21,327
It's my way of saying that we're friends,
10
00:00:21,407 --> 00:00:23,772
and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few.
11
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,197
Fifteen years of constant ridicule.
12
00:00:28,277 --> 00:00:30,973
I think our relationship has become toxic.
13
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:32,953
What are you saying?
14
00:00:34,927 --> 00:00:37,049
I think you and I need to spend
some time away from each other.
15
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:40,753
Look, I...
16
00:00:41,117 --> 00:00:42,799
I can see you're upset, but...
17
00:00:43,373 --> 00:00:46,396
...I'm gonna need some ground rules.
18
00:00:46,983 --> 00:00:50,087
While we're apart,
can I see other needy Indian men?
19
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:51,232
Get out!
20
00:00:55,057 --> 00:00:57,026
Oh, Stuart, two questions.
21
00:00:57,106 --> 00:00:59,095
Do you have the new Aquaman?
22
00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:02,887
And do you mind if I use your back room
to smoke some meat?
23
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:09,347
Well, since it's you asking,
I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
24
00:01:10,984 --> 00:01:12,508
Why are you smoking meat?
25
00:01:12,588 --> 00:01:14,408
And why are you reading Aquaman?
26
00:01:15,864 --> 00:01:19,081
I am trying to make Amy
a historically accurate...
27
00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:21,680
"...Little House on the Prairie" dinner
for her birthday,
28
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,943
and I want to be able to say
I was reading it before it was cool.
29
00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:28,457
Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.
30
00:01:28,537 --> 00:01:31,093
The dinner thing.
The Aquaman thing's dumb.
31
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,364
Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?
32
00:01:35,444 --> 00:01:37,565
Yeah, but we're not doing anything big
'cause she's 1,
33
00:01:37,645 --> 00:01:40,756
Bernadette's on bed rest, and I'm lazy.
34
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:43,762
Hey, guys.
35
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:44,904
-Hello.
-Hey.
36
00:01:46,009 --> 00:01:47,001
Howard.
37
00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:48,494
Raj.
38
00:01:49,312 --> 00:01:50,300
Excuse me.
39
00:01:51,754 --> 00:01:53,616
Really? Is this still happening?
40
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,571
I'm willing to make up,
but someone's being a baby.
41
00:01:56,651 --> 00:01:58,997
Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see.
42
00:02:00,135 --> 00:02:01,895
I see, my first guess would be Halley,
43
00:02:01,975 --> 00:02:03,966
but that'd be strange to accuse her
of being a baby...
44
00:02:04,046 --> 00:02:05,286
...'cause she is a baby.
45
00:02:06,039 --> 00:02:07,330
I suppose it could be Stuart.
46
00:02:07,410 --> 00:02:09,662
His head does have a certain milky scent.
47
00:02:13,816 --> 00:02:14,837
Although...
48
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,704
It's me, Sheldon.
He's calling me a baby.
49
00:02:17,784 --> 00:02:18,975
No, I don't know.
50
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,236
I saw Leonard put his keys
in his mouth today.
51
00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:24,914
You're a grown man. Act like it.
52
00:02:24,994 --> 00:02:28,078
Big talk coming from a guy
holding an Archie comic book.
53
00:02:28,329 --> 00:02:31,294
Hey, werewolf Jughead
is not your dad's Jughead.
54
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:35,207
Come on, you guys
have been friends forever. Quit fighting.
55
00:02:35,287 --> 00:02:37,937
I have an extra ticket to the opening
of "The Last Jedi" tonight.
56
00:02:38,017 --> 00:02:40,085
It was gonna be Howard's,
but you can have it.
57
00:02:40,659 --> 00:02:41,798
You two had a good run.
58
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:10,892
Who wants
to go see "Last Jedi" again tonight?
59
00:03:10,972 --> 00:03:12,463
-I'm in.
-Me, too.
60
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:14,942
It'll be nice to see the parts I missed
while I was blinking.
61
00:03:16,505 --> 00:03:18,034
Hey, guys, there's a change of plans.
62
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,592
We are having a party
for Halley's birthday after all.
63
00:03:20,672 --> 00:03:24,882
Turns out Bernadette and
"anyone who's not a heartless monster..."
64
00:03:24,962 --> 00:03:26,492
...thinks that's the right thing to do.
65
00:03:27,503 --> 00:03:30,076
I don't like kids,
but I do like birthday cake.
66
00:03:30,156 --> 00:03:33,071
Oh, wait,
will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
67
00:03:33,151 --> 00:03:34,067
I don't know.
68
00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:35,685
I'll risk it.
69
00:03:36,980 --> 00:03:39,447
But if I have a tantrum
and have to leave early, you'll know why.
70
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,972
Here you go. Here you go.
71
00:03:45,895 --> 00:03:47,261
See you two there.
72
00:03:47,341 --> 00:03:48,545
Are you kidding me?
73
00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:50,258
You're not gonna invite me
to Halley's birthday?
74
00:03:50,338 --> 00:03:52,716
I'm her godfather. That means something.
75
00:03:52,796 --> 00:03:55,458
Or... Hear me out on this. It doesn't.
76
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,409
Okay, that's enough.
77
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:01,332
This fight either has to end
or get way more entertaining.
78
00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:05,637
Don't worry about it
'cause I'm done putting up with him!
79
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,503
I know you have a lot on your mind,
80
00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:16,176
but when do you think we'll have an answer
on those cake flowers?
81
00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:21,252
-Hey.
-Hey.
82
00:04:21,332 --> 00:04:23,919
-What you reading?
-Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.
83
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,364
If there's a picture of his wife
and his kids...
84
00:04:27,444 --> 00:04:30,193
...and his dogs and his horses
all in matching pajamas,
85
00:04:30,273 --> 00:04:31,476
I beg you to burn it.
86
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,379
Aw, the people's pajamas
have little horses on them,
87
00:04:35,459 --> 00:04:37,070
and the horses' have little people.
88
00:04:38,638 --> 00:04:41,029
It's just his chance to brag
about how great his life is.
89
00:04:41,109 --> 00:04:42,505
Oh, come on, it's nice.
90
00:04:42,585 --> 00:04:44,001
You know that non-profit he works with?
91
00:04:44,081 --> 00:04:45,818
They built a hospital in Rwanda.
92
00:04:46,501 --> 00:04:48,866
"Look at me.
I built a hospital in Rwanda."
93
00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:52,813
That is a good point.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
94
00:04:54,173 --> 00:04:55,518
-Hello.
-Hey.
95
00:04:55,598 --> 00:04:58,771
So, this is for Amy's birthday.
Can I leave it here?
96
00:04:58,851 --> 00:04:59,963
Sure. What is it?
97
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:01,437
A butter churn.
98
00:05:01,517 --> 00:05:03,310
Aw, that's what I got her.
99
00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:08,110
It's for her surprise
frontier birthday dinner.
100
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:12,502
I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork,
101
00:05:12,582 --> 00:05:16,340
and because it's a special day,
a chewable gob of tree sap.
102
00:05:18,495 --> 00:05:19,554
Is that good?
103
00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:21,580
Compared to other foods, no.
104
00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:23,945
Compared to other parts of a tree? Eh.
105
00:05:26,507 --> 00:05:29,452
And then after dinner,
we will have birthday coitus.
106
00:05:30,992 --> 00:05:33,457
Do you think
that will also be historically accurate?
107
00:05:34,015 --> 00:05:37,859
I assume like the rest of frontier life,
it'll be exhausting and short.
108
00:05:39,654 --> 00:05:41,063
You're exhausting and short.
109
00:05:47,316 --> 00:05:50,943
Hey, Stuart,
you're coming to Halley's party, right?
110
00:05:51,023 --> 00:05:51,957
You bet.
111
00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:54,429
Plus, I live there and I was invited,
112
00:05:54,509 --> 00:05:56,516
so it's already better
than my 10th birthday party.
113
00:05:58,678 --> 00:06:01,080
-Great. Can you bring a few things?
-Sure. What do you need?
114
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,480
Balloons, streamers, ice, snacks,
a bounce house, face painter,
115
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,914
and a couple kids whose parents
are willing to lie...
116
00:06:05,994 --> 00:06:08,533
...and say they know me from
the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.
117
00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:11,806
Where do you and Halley go every week?
118
00:06:11,886 --> 00:06:13,788
The important thing is we're together,
119
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:16,643
and if the movie gets too violent,
I cover her eyes.
120
00:06:18,665 --> 00:06:20,688
Don't stress about this party.
121
00:06:20,768 --> 00:06:22,307
She's 1. She's not gonna remember.
122
00:06:22,387 --> 00:06:24,960
The other day I showed her her toe,
and she was shocked.
123
00:06:27,073 --> 00:06:28,974
It's not for the baby.
It's for Bernadette.
124
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:33,194
She's feeling guilty about all the stuff
she's missing with Halley.
125
00:06:33,274 --> 00:06:36,464
All right. Uncle Stuart's got your back.
126
00:06:36,544 --> 00:06:39,670
Ain't no party like a Stuart party
because Stuart's...
127
00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:41,973
...never invited to parties.
128
00:06:47,714 --> 00:06:49,261
Did the electricity go out?
129
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:51,846
I don't know what you mean
by "electricity," ma'am.
130
00:06:51,926 --> 00:06:55,129
I am just a farmer boy
living in a little house on the prairie.
131
00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:02,847
I'm glad you're happy.
132
00:07:02,927 --> 00:07:05,416
I wanted to do something special
for your birthday.
133
00:07:05,496 --> 00:07:09,096
Oh, you did, you did! It's perfect!
134
00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:11,555
You do know that my birthday's tomorrow,
right?
135
00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:14,825
This is just step one
of your birthday weekend.
136
00:07:14,905 --> 00:07:18,908
Now, would you care to join me
for an authentic frontier dinner...
137
00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:20,748
...made entirely from scratch?
138
00:07:20,828 --> 00:07:23,311
I can't believe you did this.
It's amazing!
139
00:07:23,391 --> 00:07:25,461
Oh, it's not a big deal.
140
00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,531
Just to be clear, it was a big deal.
141
00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:31,526
I was being modest. You got that, right?
142
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,040
-Loud and clear.
-Well, I hope you're hungry.
143
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,265
Oh, I'm starving.
144
00:07:35,345 --> 00:07:38,593
Oh, good. Starvation is authentic
to the time period.
145
00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:44,098
If you also have malaria
and a deep distrust of Native Americans,
146
00:07:44,178 --> 00:07:45,501
we're really cooking with a woodstove.
147
00:07:47,398 --> 00:07:49,139
-Is that butter?
-Yes.
148
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,549
But don't blow it all on one biscuit.
149
00:07:50,629 --> 00:07:51,994
Took me nine hours to make that.
150
00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:55,306
I think I got churner's elbow.
151
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,913
I know we only have coitus on my birthday,
152
00:07:58,993 --> 00:08:01,616
but I don't know if I can wait
until midnight.
153
00:08:02,747 --> 00:08:04,619
Well, you'll be glad you did.
154
00:08:04,699 --> 00:08:08,163
Everyone knows the best foreplay
is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
155
00:08:13,444 --> 00:08:14,829
Hey. What are you doing?
156
00:08:14,909 --> 00:08:17,595
Oh, I've decided
to write my own Christmas letter.
157
00:08:17,675 --> 00:08:20,368
So I'm gonna make a list
of all the cool things we did this year.
158
00:08:20,448 --> 00:08:22,403
Oh, fun. Can I help?
159
00:08:22,483 --> 00:08:25,305
Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing
we did this year?
160
00:08:27,269 --> 00:08:29,977
Well, both of our jobs are going great.
161
00:08:30,575 --> 00:08:33,547
Sure. I mean,
my Air Force project got taken away,
162
00:08:33,627 --> 00:08:36,264
and you're not crazy
about selling pharmaceuticals.
163
00:08:38,008 --> 00:08:39,810
I'll just write down "still employed."
164
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,890
Oh, we had our second anniversary.
165
00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,849
Uh, yeah,
but we did kind of forget about it,
166
00:08:46,929 --> 00:08:49,711
so maybe just write "still married."
167
00:08:52,017 --> 00:08:53,499
Great. Okay.
168
00:08:54,169 --> 00:08:55,403
Okay, that's a start.
169
00:08:57,397 --> 00:08:58,384
What else?
170
00:09:01,684 --> 00:09:04,514
You know, maybe this is enough.
171
00:09:06,861 --> 00:09:09,762
Let's look at our pictures.
That will jog our memories.
172
00:09:11,495 --> 00:09:12,735
What is that a picture of?
173
00:09:12,815 --> 00:09:14,724
Oh, that's a mole on my back.
174
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,188
I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.
175
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,229
How'd you get a picture of your own back?
176
00:09:22,309 --> 00:09:24,517
Sheldon took it.
We're kind of mole buddies.
177
00:09:27,314 --> 00:09:28,734
Hey, that's a cute picture.
178
00:09:28,814 --> 00:09:30,658
Isn't that the day
we almost went to the beach?
179
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,616
Memorial Day?
180
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,262
No, that was the day
we almost went to the mountains.
181
00:09:35,538 --> 00:09:37,019
That's the great thing about California.
182
00:09:37,099 --> 00:09:39,589
You can almost go to the mountains and
almost go to the beach in the same day.
183
00:09:39,669 --> 00:09:40,630
Yeah.
184
00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:50,631
Look, I'm sorry about not inviting you
to Halley's birthday.
185
00:09:50,711 --> 00:09:51,950
That wasn't cool.
186
00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:54,455
And of course we would love to have you.
Here.
187
00:09:56,474 --> 00:09:58,632
Thank you. I'd really like to be there.
188
00:09:58,712 --> 00:10:01,546
Great, 'cause it's tomorrow,
and I need you to plan it.
189
00:10:04,524 --> 00:10:05,400
What?
190
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,498
Stuart was gonna help,
191
00:10:06,578 --> 00:10:09,028
but the free clinic
had an open spot for a colonoscopy,
192
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,321
and he jumped on it.
193
00:10:11,701 --> 00:10:15,649
So, you're just apologizing
because you need something?
194
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,817
Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me
to admit it.
195
00:10:19,774 --> 00:10:21,789
Well, that's very insulting.
196
00:10:21,869 --> 00:10:23,862
Right again.
Are you gonna help me or not?
197
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,842
No, I will not help you.
198
00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:30,935
But I will help Halley.
199
00:10:31,974 --> 00:10:33,615
She's my goddaughter, and I love her.
200
00:10:34,443 --> 00:10:37,704
And I have a lot of party favors left over
from Cinnamon's birthday, so...
201
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:42,318
I hope she likes things that squeak
when you chew on them.
202
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:46,502
She's a human being, not an animal.
203
00:10:46,582 --> 00:10:48,375
But that actually would be a hit.
204
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,445
Can I get you anything else?
205
00:10:54,158 --> 00:10:56,502
No, thanks. I think I'm good.
206
00:10:56,859 --> 00:10:59,481
You sure?
There's still plenty of pork fat.
207
00:11:00,723 --> 00:11:03,360
Although, if we don't eat it,
I suppose we could turn it into soap.
208
00:11:05,212 --> 00:11:06,420
That might taste better.
209
00:11:10,315 --> 00:11:12,273
I think I'm just gonna go over here
and sit on the couch.
210
00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:13,407
Oh, great.
211
00:11:13,487 --> 00:11:15,910
Then we will move on to stage two.
212
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,366
The pitching of woo.
213
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:27,017
Should I read you
some bawdy 19th century limericks?
214
00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:28,629
Okay.
215
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:30,357
Oh, here.
216
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:33,248
"There once was a priest
from Terre Haute..."
217
00:11:33,328 --> 00:11:35,780
"...who purchased a sheep
and a goat..."
218
00:11:37,675 --> 00:11:38,699
Hold on a second.
219
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,734
Is it getting hot in here?
220
00:11:40,814 --> 00:11:42,774
Well, I didn't even get
to the dirty part yet.
221
00:11:44,707 --> 00:11:45,973
No, I'm serious.
222
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:48,742
Do you think there was something wrong
with that food?
223
00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:51,433
Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.
224
00:11:53,622 --> 00:11:55,316
My stomach's feeling a little weird.
225
00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:57,330
Yeah. Mine, too.
226
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:01,633
I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps
of arousal.
227
00:12:08,609 --> 00:12:10,834
No. This doesn't feel right.
228
00:12:10,914 --> 00:12:13,485
No. Hey, hey, save that sexy talk
for the bedroom.
229
00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:20,838
You know, if you'll excuse me,
I am just going to go freshen up.
230
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:28,549
-Sheldon?
-I'll be out in a minute.
231
00:12:29,655 --> 00:12:30,796
I don't have a minute!
232
00:12:36,444 --> 00:12:38,894
I can't believe
you pulled this all together overnight.
233
00:12:38,974 --> 00:12:41,550
Uh, if I had more time,
I could have gotten the Blue Man Group.
234
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:44,792
One of them goes to my dry cleaner.
235
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,304
Who, by the way, hates him.
236
00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:49,638
You really saved the day.
237
00:12:49,718 --> 00:12:51,937
Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.
238
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,945
And I'm sure she'd appreciate it,
239
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:56,524
if she knew what's going on
or who you are.
240
00:13:05,357 --> 00:13:06,288
Morning.
241
00:13:06,935 --> 00:13:08,023
Happy birthday.
242
00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:10,164
Yeah, sure.
243
00:13:13,214 --> 00:13:14,901
Did you sleep at all?
244
00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:16,319
No. You?
245
00:13:17,398 --> 00:13:20,090
I passed out on the toilet once.
246
00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:22,594
I don't know if that counts.
247
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,991
-Feel any better?
-I feel terrible.
248
00:13:29,497 --> 00:13:30,525
Well...
249
00:13:31,999 --> 00:13:33,358
...should we make love now?
250
00:13:35,877 --> 00:13:38,357
How can you even think about sex?
251
00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:41,578
Hey, I'm a man.
I have annual needs just like anyone.
252
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,565
And besides, it's our birthday tradition.
253
00:13:48,362 --> 00:13:49,484
You think you can do it...
254
00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,933
...while I lie perfectly still
and you don't touch me?
255
00:13:55,621 --> 00:13:56,592
I can try.
256
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:04,863
Want to do it again?
257
00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:10,273
-Morning.
-Morning.
258
00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:13,924
"Kept Fern alive?" Who's Fern?
259
00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:18,403
No, the fern. The one in the bathroom.
260
00:14:19,096 --> 00:14:21,273
We're really calling
that brown thing alive?
261
00:14:21,353 --> 00:14:22,334
Okay.
262
00:14:24,275 --> 00:14:26,244
So, how long have you been working
on this?
263
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:27,552
Oh, couple hours.
264
00:14:27,632 --> 00:14:30,801
I took a break to try to beat
my high score on "Mario Kart."
265
00:14:31,178 --> 00:14:32,411
Well, did you do it?
266
00:14:32,816 --> 00:14:34,107
Do you see it on the board?
267
00:14:35,739 --> 00:14:38,001
Okay, this is silly. Our lives are great.
268
00:14:38,081 --> 00:14:39,203
I think so, too.
269
00:14:39,283 --> 00:14:41,241
So then why is this bugging you so much?
270
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:46,384
I guess it feels like everyone's
moving forward and we're stuck.
271
00:14:46,464 --> 00:14:49,319
-What do you mean?
-Well, we've been married two years.
272
00:14:49,399 --> 00:14:51,351
Should we think about what's next?
273
00:14:51,777 --> 00:14:54,386
Like buying a house or having a baby?
274
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:56,371
Look, I want to do
all those things some day,
275
00:14:56,451 --> 00:14:58,314
but there's a bunch of stuff
I want to do first.
276
00:14:58,394 --> 00:14:59,489
Okay, like what?
277
00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:01,822
I don't know.
Stay thin and have money.
278
00:15:03,821 --> 00:15:05,178
No, no, I'm serious.
279
00:15:05,258 --> 00:15:07,563
If there's things we want to do,
let's start doing them.
280
00:15:08,027 --> 00:15:10,891
Okay. Well, we've never been
on a big trip together.
281
00:15:11,335 --> 00:15:12,320
I would love that.
282
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,677
Okay, there's something for your letter.
283
00:15:13,757 --> 00:15:15,735
"Considered going on a trip."
284
00:15:18,329 --> 00:15:19,910
It's just a day trip,
285
00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:22,365
but we could take the ferry out
to Catalina.
286
00:15:22,445 --> 00:15:23,980
Great, let's do it.
287
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,191
Amy's in the bathroom and I need to...
288
00:15:32,855 --> 00:15:34,529
It's like I can hear the ocean already.
289
00:15:38,244 --> 00:15:40,161
Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
290
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,248
Hey, what's going on?
291
00:15:42,328 --> 00:15:45,084
Bernadette's sister's kids,
are sick and they're not coming.
292
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,914
But they're the whole reason
the cupcakes are vegan!
293
00:15:50,069 --> 00:15:52,391
-How's the party coming?
-Good!
294
00:15:52,471 --> 00:15:55,161
Great! Our friends
should be here any second!
295
00:15:55,868 --> 00:15:58,599
Those are the only other people
you invited?
296
00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:00,808
What about the kids
from the Daddy and Me class?
297
00:16:00,888 --> 00:16:01,852
Oh, grow up.
298
00:16:06,414 --> 00:16:07,906
-Uh-oh.
-What?
299
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,142
I left the food out.
300
00:16:10,854 --> 00:16:12,466
You afraid it's gonna go good?
301
00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:18,559
How are you feeling?
302
00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:22,788
My stomach aches, I got the chills...
303
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,124
...my mouth tastes weird.
304
00:16:25,589 --> 00:16:28,761
It hurts to swallow,
and I've got a little double vision.
305
00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:29,903
Yeah.
306
00:16:30,652 --> 00:16:32,121
I'm feeling better, too.
307
00:16:40,856 --> 00:16:42,290
Well, this party's a disaster.
308
00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,862
Don't blame the party!
309
00:16:43,942 --> 00:16:45,479
You know how many favors
I had to call in...
310
00:16:45,559 --> 00:16:47,700
...with my bounce house guy
to get Wonder Woman?
311
00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:51,200
Is that Wonder Woman?
312
00:16:53,532 --> 00:16:56,787
Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff
called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
313
00:16:58,386 --> 00:17:00,527
Then I take it back. It's a "great" party.
314
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,330
Well, you can sit here
and sulk if you want.
315
00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:05,496
I'm gonna go
celebrate Halley's first birthday.
316
00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:07,856
Which I planned with no help from you.
317
00:17:08,347 --> 00:17:09,484
What are you doing?
318
00:17:09,564 --> 00:17:11,692
It's a bounce house!
I'm gonna go bounce in it!
319
00:17:14,005 --> 00:17:16,693
You're supposed to take your shoes off
before you go in there!
320
00:17:19,810 --> 00:17:20,980
You know what?
321
00:17:21,378 --> 00:17:24,188
I'm stressed
about my daughter's birthday party.
322
00:17:24,268 --> 00:17:25,714
I don't need your attitude.
323
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,883
Well, I worked really hard on this,
and you haven't even said thank you.
324
00:17:28,963 --> 00:17:30,849
Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you.
325
00:17:30,929 --> 00:17:33,793
Thank you for blaming me
for everything that's wrong in your life!
326
00:17:33,873 --> 00:17:36,770
Thank you for walking out
on our friendship!
327
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,056
You are welcome!
328
00:17:38,136 --> 00:17:40,522
And thank you for mocking me
for all of these years!
329
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,771
Thank you for making it so easy!
330
00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:46,611
Why are you being such a jerk?
331
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:50,689
Because you're my best friend
and you hurt my feelings!
332
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:53,128
Well, you're my best friend
and you hurt my feelings!
333
00:17:55,895 --> 00:17:58,084
I can't believe you shoved me!
334
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:02,188
Well, I can't believe you shoved me!
335
00:18:02,268 --> 00:18:03,989
But it was kind of fun, wasn't it?
336
00:18:04,069 --> 00:18:06,238
-It was! Do it again!
-Gladly!
337
00:18:08,292 --> 00:18:10,307
Okay, now at the same time!
338
00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:13,853
Oh, oh, that was awesome!
339
00:18:13,933 --> 00:18:16,329
Yeah, okay, this time, knees, then feet.
340
00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:17,833
One, two, three.
341
00:18:20,774 --> 00:18:22,751
Again! Again!
342
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,047
Hello.
343
00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:27,383
-Hi.
-You made it.
344
00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:28,607
How you two feeling?
345
00:18:28,687 --> 00:18:29,852
Oh, a little better.
346
00:18:29,932 --> 00:18:32,747
Those books should have been
called "Little Outhouse on the Prairie."
347
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:37,088
Halley's awake
and ready for her party!
348
00:18:37,168 --> 00:18:38,778
-Be right up!
-Ooh, I want to see the birthday girl.
349
00:18:38,858 --> 00:18:41,303
-I'd love to see her.
-Walk slow.
350
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:43,671
It takes a while to get this bra back on!
351
00:18:46,768 --> 00:18:47,791
You know...
352
00:18:48,955 --> 00:18:50,389
...it's still your birthday.
353
00:18:51,227 --> 00:18:52,481
It is.
354
00:18:52,561 --> 00:18:54,771
And we are both...
355
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,250
...feeling better.
356
00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,336
We are.
357
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,082
-And there's no one in that bounce house.
-No.
358
00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,057
Great.
359
00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:07,752
Let's go jump for a bit,
360
00:19:07,832 --> 00:19:09,367
and then find a bedroom to have coitus in.
27638
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