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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:47,280 Hi, I'm Gene. 2 00:01:47,305 --> 00:01:48,538 I'm Gene. 3 00:01:50,452 --> 00:01:52,118 It's me. Gene. 4 00:02:09,204 --> 00:02:10,862 Yes? 5 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,740 Hello? 6 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,741 Hi. Is it... 7 00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:17,588 is it you? 8 00:02:17,692 --> 00:02:19,657 Yes. It's me. 9 00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:26,155 Hey. Gene? - Hi. 10 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,658 Dan? - Yeah. 11 00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:29,383 OK. 12 00:02:39,338 --> 00:02:41,338 Please. Come in. 13 00:02:41,363 --> 00:02:43,330 This is nice. 14 00:02:43,355 --> 00:02:44,942 Is it OK? - Yeah. Sure. 15 00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:47,336 OK. - Wait. Why do you ask? 16 00:02:47,361 --> 00:02:50,062 I don't know, I didn't know, you know, 17 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,196 what you were expecting. 18 00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:54,589 And... or used to. So, I... 19 00:02:55,569 --> 00:02:57,492 No, it's really nice. 20 00:02:57,723 --> 00:02:59,881 I... I like the flower. 21 00:02:59,906 --> 00:03:02,508 And the candles. And the dining table. 22 00:03:02,533 --> 00:03:05,126 It's just... It's nice. 23 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,750 It's nothing. 24 00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:10,260 Yeah, it's all lovely. 25 00:03:10,285 --> 00:03:11,047 Thanks. 26 00:03:11,072 --> 00:03:12,127 Thank you... 27 00:03:12,152 --> 00:03:13,819 for setting all this up. 28 00:03:17,559 --> 00:03:21,194 Hey, it's OK if we're a little nervous, right? 29 00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:23,896 Yeah. 30 00:03:23,898 --> 00:03:25,064 Yes. - OK, good. 31 00:03:25,089 --> 00:03:26,626 Yeah. - You seemed really calm. 32 00:03:26,651 --> 00:03:28,783 I am so not calm. 33 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,574 No, I... I'm... 34 00:03:30,599 --> 00:03:32,466 utterly aflutter. 35 00:03:32,757 --> 00:03:35,057 I don't know why I said that. Sorry. 36 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,616 No, no. I liked it. "Utterly aflutter." 37 00:03:37,641 --> 00:03:38,690 It's poetic. 38 00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:40,720 Yeah. - And it's true. 39 00:03:40,745 --> 00:03:42,121 I feel that way too. 40 00:03:42,146 --> 00:03:43,446 Yeah. 41 00:03:47,486 --> 00:03:49,818 Maybe we just, dive in? 42 00:03:49,843 --> 00:03:51,675 I'd like that. - OK. 43 00:03:55,285 --> 00:03:58,954 Let's see. 44 00:03:58,979 --> 00:04:01,579 Here you go. 45 00:04:04,593 --> 00:04:06,509 18, 19, 20. 46 00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:09,896 Get you some water. 47 00:04:15,471 --> 00:04:16,913 What's this one? 48 00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:20,373 That is tranexamic acid. - What's that? 49 00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:24,211 It helps regulate the female menstrual cycle. 50 00:04:24,502 --> 00:04:27,033 And it slows down bleeding. 51 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:30,041 So, you know, just in case. - That's smart. 52 00:04:30,086 --> 00:04:31,533 Right? - Yeah. 53 00:04:36,535 --> 00:04:38,702 Yes, please. 54 00:04:38,727 --> 00:04:40,267 OK, good. 55 00:04:40,292 --> 00:04:41,986 I didn't know if you were a drinker, 56 00:04:42,011 --> 00:04:45,071 and I didn't want you to think I'm some kind of boozer 57 00:04:45,096 --> 00:04:46,697 or... or something. 58 00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:53,177 Nice. 59 00:04:55,214 --> 00:04:56,646 OK. 60 00:04:58,317 --> 00:04:59,483 Too-too-too. 61 00:05:02,788 --> 00:05:04,995 Thank you. - There you go. 62 00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:13,109 To, the perfect night. 63 00:05:13,134 --> 00:05:14,904 Perfect night. Where we can just... 64 00:05:14,906 --> 00:05:16,582 Where we can just be exactly who we want... 65 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,607 Jinx. - Jinx. 66 00:05:18,632 --> 00:05:20,962 My God! 67 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,642 That's twice... - In a row. 68 00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:26,158 This is crazy. - I know. 69 00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:31,963 Every... Everything OK? 70 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,065 Yeah, yeah, um... 71 00:05:34,778 --> 00:05:37,145 I think I might already be starting to feel it. 72 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,536 Really. It said 20 minutes. 73 00:05:39,561 --> 00:05:41,134 Up to 20 minutes. 74 00:05:41,159 --> 00:05:42,692 Also maybe considering the dosage... 75 00:05:43,899 --> 00:05:45,798 Right. Right, OK. 76 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:48,545 Um, let's get everything ready. 77 00:05:48,897 --> 00:05:50,396 OK. 78 00:06:29,727 --> 00:06:32,695 Shall we, get this out of the way? 79 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:33,819 Yeah. 80 00:06:34,835 --> 00:06:36,701 I, Gene... - I, Dan... 81 00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:39,861 Jinx. 82 00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:42,170 It's like we're the same person or something. 83 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:44,578 I know. There's an air of kismet about all of it. I... 84 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,025 Aw, I just said there's an air of kismet. 85 00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:47,228 Now who's the poet? 86 00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:50,059 OK. 87 00:06:50,848 --> 00:06:53,533 I, Dan Bender, am of sound mind 88 00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:55,923 and have previously agreed to everything that I will do 89 00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:58,064 and that will be done to me tonight. 90 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,251 I, Gene Gerkin, 91 00:07:00,276 --> 00:07:02,150 am also of sound mind, 92 00:07:02,175 --> 00:07:05,283 and have previously agreed to everything that I will do 93 00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:07,441 and that will be done to me tonight. 94 00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:11,884 Great. You OK? 95 00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:15,102 Yeah, I think just a few more minutes, 96 00:07:15,151 --> 00:07:18,626 just to make sure everything's in the right place. 97 00:07:18,651 --> 00:07:20,892 You got it. Yeah. 98 00:07:22,951 --> 00:07:25,684 I can't believe this night is finally here. 99 00:07:25,716 --> 00:07:28,158 I know, right? - After all these months? 100 00:07:28,469 --> 00:07:31,503 All this correspondence? All this not knowing? 101 00:07:31,528 --> 00:07:33,048 I'm just happy you came. 102 00:07:33,093 --> 00:07:34,892 I'm happy you came. 103 00:07:35,113 --> 00:07:37,147 I have to admit, for a while I was starting to worry 104 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:40,273 that this was just gonna turn out to be a big... joke. 105 00:07:40,298 --> 00:07:42,070 Me too. - Really? 106 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,306 Yeah. Sure. I mean, 107 00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:45,531 you and I, we understand this, 108 00:07:45,556 --> 00:07:48,957 but I don't think a lot of other people would. 109 00:07:54,718 --> 00:07:56,451 Gene? 110 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,909 Yeah? 111 00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:01,970 I think... I think I'm ready now. 112 00:08:03,606 --> 00:08:05,923 OK, Dan. OK. 113 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,317 OK. Here, buddy. - Thanks. 114 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,410 OK. - Watch your head. 115 00:08:26,435 --> 00:08:28,569 There you go. 116 00:09:18,372 --> 00:09:21,206 You ready, Dan? 117 00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:23,949 I'm ready. 118 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:25,949 OK. 119 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,747 Did you get it? - I got it. 120 00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:41,610 You hold that. 121 00:09:47,141 --> 00:09:48,675 There we go. 122 00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:52,559 Nice. Nice. 123 00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:15,276 Ooh. 124 00:10:19,408 --> 00:10:21,841 It smells... good. 125 00:10:21,866 --> 00:10:24,942 I know, right? I wa... I wasn't expecting that. 126 00:10:24,974 --> 00:10:26,348 Were you? 127 00:10:26,588 --> 00:10:28,168 No. 128 00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:29,942 It smells like... 129 00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:33,059 nothing I've ever... ever smelled before. 130 00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:34,504 Right? - Yeah, agreed. 131 00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:36,796 It's weird. - It smells incredible. 132 00:10:36,821 --> 00:10:39,598 Yeah. It really, really does. 133 00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:46,362 Nice. 134 00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:49,020 How you doin'? How's the bleeding? 135 00:10:49,045 --> 00:10:52,145 It's under control for now. 136 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,316 OK, great. 137 00:10:53,341 --> 00:10:55,129 Let's just get you over here. 138 00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:57,089 Thanks. 139 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,847 There you go. 140 00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:10,365 OK. 141 00:11:18,903 --> 00:11:22,537 Thank you. 142 00:11:22,562 --> 00:11:24,192 Well, you're welcome. 143 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,183 No, I mean, thank you... 144 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:29,343 for doing for me... with me... 145 00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:32,035 What nobody else seems to understand. 146 00:11:32,354 --> 00:11:34,621 Thank you for the same. 147 00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:38,972 I mean, I'm excited for this. And for my turn next. 148 00:11:38,997 --> 00:11:41,697 It didn't hurt much at all, by the way. 149 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:45,412 Shall we? 150 00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:46,893 Before it gets cold? 151 00:11:53,874 --> 00:11:56,238 This is the police! Open up! 152 00:11:56,263 --> 00:11:58,831 Jesus Christ. - What? 153 00:12:08,856 --> 00:12:10,323 Open up! 154 00:12:10,348 --> 00:12:12,948 Coming! I'm just getting out of the bathroom! 155 00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:15,909 OK, come on, come on, come on. 156 00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:17,144 Come on. 157 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,652 OK. Stay in here 158 00:12:21,677 --> 00:12:22,894 and don't come out no matter what. 159 00:12:22,919 --> 00:12:25,738 OK. 160 00:12:31,036 --> 00:12:32,692 No, no, no, no, no. 161 00:12:35,248 --> 00:12:37,136 It's so good! - Really? 162 00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:40,563 What's that? - Nothing! Just a sec! 163 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,762 What the hell is wrong with you? 164 00:12:52,031 --> 00:12:55,955 So good. 165 00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:57,657 If you don't open this door, 166 00:12:57,682 --> 00:12:58,970 I'm gonna be forced to break it down. 167 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,512 Sorry. Coming! 168 00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:03,963 How can I help you, Officer? 169 00:13:03,988 --> 00:13:06,954 Why did it take you so long to open this door? 170 00:13:06,979 --> 00:13:08,879 I told you. I was in the bathroom. 171 00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,532 What's your name? 172 00:13:21,812 --> 00:13:24,195 M-My name? - Yes, your name. 173 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,752 Gene. - Gene what? 174 00:13:25,777 --> 00:13:27,640 Gene Gerkin! 175 00:13:28,117 --> 00:13:31,093 Is there a Dan Bender here with you tonight? 176 00:13:32,026 --> 00:13:34,727 I don't know anyone by that name. 177 00:13:35,507 --> 00:13:37,796 Well, who's all this for? 178 00:13:37,821 --> 00:13:41,554 Um, for me. My friend. 179 00:13:45,477 --> 00:13:47,660 Let's see here. 180 00:13:47,918 --> 00:13:50,219 Jill Bender. 181 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,194 She found some unusual and cryptic emails 182 00:13:54,219 --> 00:13:56,538 on her husband Dan's computer last week. 183 00:13:56,563 --> 00:14:00,124 She did not divulge the content, but became concerned. 184 00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:01,903 She followed him here 185 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:04,148 and watched him walk into this room 186 00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:05,984 ten minutes ago. 187 00:14:06,009 --> 00:14:07,585 She called us to check it out, 188 00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:10,582 as she had reason to fear his life, 189 00:14:10,607 --> 00:14:12,840 based on his emails. 190 00:14:14,209 --> 00:14:16,475 You want to tell me where he's at? 191 00:14:17,964 --> 00:14:19,897 You know, I have to ask, 192 00:14:19,922 --> 00:14:24,100 isn't this something you generally need a warrant for? 193 00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:27,159 I suggest you tell me where the gentleman is. 194 00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:28,327 I understand that, 195 00:14:28,352 --> 00:14:31,648 it's just I paid for this hotel room 196 00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:34,335 and I'm not doing anything wrong here. 197 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,628 Is he here? 198 00:14:40,394 --> 00:14:42,527 Is he hiding? 199 00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,978 Don't! 200 00:15:27,023 --> 00:15:28,456 Why'd you scream? 201 00:15:29,837 --> 00:15:33,272 I don't know. I mean, you scared me. 202 00:15:33,804 --> 00:15:36,233 Y-You know, you just come in here and disrupt my evening... 203 00:15:36,258 --> 00:15:38,557 If you see Dan Bender, tell him his wife 204 00:15:38,582 --> 00:15:40,917 is looking for him and to go home. 205 00:15:41,825 --> 00:15:43,992 Excuse me. 206 00:15:44,299 --> 00:15:45,968 What? 207 00:15:45,993 --> 00:15:49,738 I want your name and badge number, please. 208 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,904 Excuse me? 209 00:15:55,929 --> 00:15:57,968 I mean, your actions here tonight 210 00:15:57,993 --> 00:16:00,937 are in total violation of my rights! 211 00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:03,463 And I plan on filing a report. 212 00:16:10,148 --> 00:16:12,120 You gonna file a report? 213 00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:13,455 Yeah. 214 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,398 Yeah, I think I just might. 215 00:16:15,423 --> 00:16:17,488 Is she gone? 216 00:16:17,513 --> 00:16:19,719 Both of you get down! Down on the ground! 217 00:16:19,744 --> 00:16:21,336 Please, just hold on. I can ex... 218 00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:24,335 Damn! 219 00:16:24,555 --> 00:16:26,888 Fuck! 220 00:16:26,913 --> 00:16:30,748 Please! Just let me... - Shh! 221 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,262 What the fuck? 222 00:16:38,671 --> 00:16:39,868 Don't move! 223 00:16:39,893 --> 00:16:42,593 Don't you fuckin' move! 224 00:16:42,618 --> 00:16:45,867 This is Pankin, I'm at the motel near the parkway. 225 00:16:45,892 --> 00:16:47,881 I need backup. - Please! 226 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:49,182 Let me just explain! - Stay down. 227 00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:50,685 Stay the fuck down. 228 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,904 I have two males, 229 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:53,888 two gay males... 230 00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:56,123 No, we're not gay. I have a wife. 231 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,467 Even if we were, what does that have to do with it? 232 00:16:58,492 --> 00:17:01,760 Some crazy fucked-up shit happening here 233 00:17:01,785 --> 00:17:04,443 like some kind of Silence of the Lambs shit. 234 00:17:04,468 --> 00:17:05,935 We're not doing anything wrong. 235 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,146 What?! You guys are cuttin' off each other's dicks 236 00:17:09,171 --> 00:17:12,818 and fuckin' eating 'em, man. - So? 237 00:17:15,447 --> 00:17:16,880 Stay down. 238 00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,438 It's not illegal. 239 00:17:18,463 --> 00:17:20,463 You're telling me assault isn't illegal? 240 00:17:20,488 --> 00:17:22,599 We have a tape. - That's right. 241 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,420 I have a recording. Full consent, both sides. 242 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:27,779 It's not assault. 243 00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:31,576 Cannibalism, fucker. - Not a crime. It's not a crime. 244 00:17:35,283 --> 00:17:36,349 Fuck. 245 00:17:37,604 --> 00:17:40,005 Fuck. - What happened here? 246 00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,530 I think this one agreed to have his dick cut off 247 00:17:42,555 --> 00:17:44,982 so the other one could eat it. - We split it. 248 00:17:45,007 --> 00:17:46,998 But we agreed on it beforehand. 249 00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:48,818 It's all planned out. 250 00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,041 If I may. 251 00:17:53,504 --> 00:17:56,136 OK. I, Dan Bender, 252 00:17:56,161 --> 00:17:57,660 am of sound mind 253 00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:59,985 and have previously agreed to everything that I will do 254 00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:02,410 and that will be done to me tonight. 255 00:18:07,202 --> 00:18:09,808 You OK, sir? - Yeah, man. 256 00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:12,504 You'll need medical attention at some point. 257 00:18:12,529 --> 00:18:14,329 Yeah, I got bandages for now, 258 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:17,348 so... we prepared. 259 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,455 So what else happened here tonight? 260 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,824 She barged in without a warrant. 261 00:18:22,849 --> 00:18:25,597 'Cause they were doing some crazy, illegal-ass shit! 262 00:18:25,629 --> 00:18:28,894 It's not illegal! Jeez, how many times do we have to tell you? 263 00:18:28,919 --> 00:18:31,348 We didn't have probable cause. 264 00:18:31,373 --> 00:18:34,316 He cut his dick off. He cut his dick off. 265 00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:36,013 That's assault. 266 00:18:51,155 --> 00:18:53,198 It's really not? 267 00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:56,655 It's fucking weird, but it's not illegal. 268 00:18:56,775 --> 00:18:59,037 And technically, it's not assault, with consent. 269 00:18:59,062 --> 00:19:02,504 Which is exactly what we've been trying to tell her. 270 00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:07,249 Sir, you also OK with what's happening here? 271 00:19:07,274 --> 00:19:09,396 Up until you guys barged in 272 00:19:09,421 --> 00:19:12,216 and ruined our lovely evening, sure. 273 00:19:15,816 --> 00:19:20,558 You'll want to get that looked at sooner rather than later. 274 00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:27,488 Sorry for the inconvenience. 275 00:19:41,988 --> 00:19:43,242 Jeez. 276 00:19:59,715 --> 00:20:01,281 Shall we continue? 277 00:20:02,338 --> 00:20:03,938 We shall. 278 00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:07,063 Bottom drawer. 279 00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:25,555 You OK? 280 00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:27,378 Yeah. I got this. 281 00:20:38,782 --> 00:20:41,283 Do you believe those police officers? 282 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,308 Who the hell do they think they are? 283 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,901 They just don't understand. 284 00:20:45,997 --> 00:20:48,555 These are our basic human rights, you know? 285 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,980 I know. What are we gonna do? 286 00:20:51,005 --> 00:20:52,872 It's not fair. 287 00:20:53,112 --> 00:20:55,979 Hey, I don't want them to ruin our night. 288 00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:58,627 You're right. - OK? 289 00:20:58,652 --> 00:21:01,063 I say we forgive and forget. 290 00:21:01,954 --> 00:21:03,787 That's very sweet of you, Dan. 291 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,165 I'm inspired. 292 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,793 Think I'm gonna forgive 'em. 293 00:21:26,099 --> 00:21:28,316 Are you ready? 294 00:21:28,423 --> 00:21:30,896 I'm so ready. 295 00:21:33,201 --> 00:21:36,199 What do you think mine's gonna taste like? 296 00:21:36,937 --> 00:21:38,937 If I had to bet, 297 00:21:39,057 --> 00:21:41,972 I would say... delicious. 298 00:21:42,624 --> 00:21:44,660 Delicious. 299 00:21:44,685 --> 00:21:46,651 Delicious. 300 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,088 I hope you're right. 19519

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