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1
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,223
The people who eat here
are animals.
2
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:09,183
And not like those cute otters
holding hands.
3
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,750
I hate 'em all.
4
00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,752
I went over to check
on a table and this man
5
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:16,625
wiped gloppy short rib sauce
on my shirt.
6
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,105
Do I look like a napkin?
7
00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:20,933
Well, you do now.
8
00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:24,894
And by the way, that "gloppy
sauce" is a port wine reduction,
9
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:28,289
and intentionally viscous.
10
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,683
Ugh.
11
00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,121
I came out here for fresh air,
but that dream is dead.
12
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,906
Let me toss it on the pile
with all your others.
13
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,995
I doubt you can throw that high.
14
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,084
It sounds like you need
15
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,260
a delicious
and calming cigarette.
16
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:44,827
I don't smoke.
17
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,612
In the words of the great
'80s poet Adam Ant,
18
00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:50,050
"Don't drink, don't smoke,
what do you do?"
19
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:56,143
Hey, dude, I used to smoke, I
used to drink, I used to strip,
20
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,101
I used to not come home
for days at a time.
21
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,495
Mm, so what you're saying
is you used to be fun.
22
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,284
Fine. Give me one.
23
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,212
Oh, right.
24
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,435
Thanks, I owe you one.
25
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:30,046
Great. You want to come over
to my place after we close,
26
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,874
"get chummy"?
27
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:35,095
It's tobacco, not ecstasy.
28
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,053
Would you like some ecstasy?
29
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,407
♪
30
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,171
Why do we bother putting
the damn chairs away?
31
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,347
We're just gonna have
another meeting tomorrow.
32
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,567
There's ladies' Zumba
in the morning.
33
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,134
What is that,
like a Kegel thing?
34
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,527
Tightening the old hoo-ha?
35
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:19,051
It's a dance-based
exercise class,
36
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,228
but your la-la
does get a workout.
37
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,839
Guys, we're all over 12.
38
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,624
We can say "vagina."
39
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,626
I did Zumba drunk once.
40
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,628
Got kicked out.
41
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:34,763
Maybe 'cause I kept
yelling "Zumba!"
42
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,765
And I peed in my leotard.
43
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:39,333
[phone chimes]
44
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,899
Oh, my God.
45
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,118
What?
46
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,554
I just got a text from this guy
47
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,730
I met at The Home Depot
yesterday.
48
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,993
Wait, like, "met a guy"
met a guy?
49
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:50,170
You didn't tell me that. Spill.
50
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,693
Well, he works there.
I needed to get a light switch,
51
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,216
but I wasn't sure if I needed
52
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,610
a 20-amp
or if a 15-amp would cover it.
53
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,002
So then I...Get to the man part.
54
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,875
So Rick-- that's what
his lifting belt said--
55
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,485
swooped in and said even
56
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,270
if I only needed a 15,
a 20 should be fine.
57
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:04,880
And then he pushed you up
against the wall and kissed you.
58
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,665
Sorry, I just got to make
the story better.
59
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,406
He asked for my number,
I didn't think he'd use it.
60
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,669
Now he wants to know
"What's up?"
61
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,584
How do I even respond to that?
62
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,631
How about "Nothing much,
what's up with you?"
63
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,373
Are you nuts? You want
to sound busy, in demand.
64
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,679
Tell him you're at a gala.
65
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,681
No, wait.
You met him at Home Depot.
66
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,335
Tell him
you're at a county fair.
67
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,381
Personally, I don't think
68
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,339
you should start
a relationship off on a lie.
69
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,558
Go with "not much."
70
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:37,478
Oh, man, which tiny blonde
should I believe?
71
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:40,742
Well, Christy's my daughter
and I love her,
72
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,787
but if you want any hope of
a romantic life, listen to Jill.
73
00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,833
"At a fair."
74
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,704
Hey, I date.
75
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:50,012
You do. Not recently,
but you do.
76
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,796
[phone chimes]
77
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,929
Whoa, he texted back already.
78
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:56,410
And he asked me out on a date!
"Anytime..."
79
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:59,935
No, no, no. You're eating funnel
cake at a fair, remember?
80
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,545
Yeah, you're not just staring
81
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,286
at your phone like
some kind of Christy.
82
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,071
I don't do that.
83
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:09,945
I blame myself. It's why I'm
trying to do better with Tammy.
84
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,164
Marjorie, everyone's
picking on me.I know,
85
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:15,167
and the fact that they're right
doesn't justify it.
86
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:16,952
You know what?
87
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,563
My homework
is more fun than this.
88
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,044
And yeah, that's a dig, guys.
89
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:25,047
It's a dig.
90
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,309
So when do I text him back?
91
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,658
I'll let you know.
92
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,447
Sharon.
93
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,404
Oh, hey, Christy.
94
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,014
Can I bum one of those?
95
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:38,147
Sure. I didn't know
you were a smoker.
96
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,714
Only on Wednesdays.
97
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,976
It's Thursday.
98
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,630
Just light the cigarette,
Sharon.
99
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,462
Thank you.
100
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,770
I'm just gonna go smoke this
behind that bush.
101
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,560
I'll see you over there.
102
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,952
MARJORIE:
Yeah.
103
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,483
Now.
104
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,444
Morons.
105
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,625
Hi, can I have ten
dollars on pump three?
106
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:22,844
You got it.
107
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,064
Actually,
108
00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,718
can I have five dollars
on pump three
109
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,285
and a pack of the lights?
110
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,156
Those are nine dollars.
111
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,333
Really? Wow.
[laughs softly]
112
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:38,642
Okay, give me one dollar on pump
three and a pack of the lights.
113
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:56,051
I don't like that Tammy's date
is picking her up here.
114
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,923
Now if he's a murderer,
he knows where she lives.
115
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,969
That's the third time
you've mentioned
116
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,406
that she might
get killed on this date.
117
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,974
Where is all this
murder anxiety coming from?
118
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:08,411
From being a
woman, Marjorie.
119
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,891
JILL:
Okay!
120
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:13,329
Get ready. Tammy, come on out,
and show them what you got.
121
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,679
[gasping]Ooh!
Wow!
122
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:20,945
I know, right?
I'm a piece.
123
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:24,471
I'm so nervous, first date out
of prison, first date sober.
124
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,647
It's just like going on a date
drunk, only much, much scarier.
125
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,213
'Cause you're
a woman.
126
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,085
You'll be great.
127
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:32,000
What if he orders a cocktail
and asks me if I want one?
128
00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,436
What do I say then?
129
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,046
You don't have to tell
your whole story.
130
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,309
Just say you don't feel
like drinking tonight.
131
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:38,746
Or tell him you can't drink
132
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,008
'cause you're taking
antibiotics.
133
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,879
How is that gonna work
if they keep dating?
134
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,881
Yeah, then he'll think
she has some horrible STD
135
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,101
that Western medicine
just can't knock out.
136
00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:49,321
But he won't know she's sober.
137
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:52,324
Maybe you should stop focusing
on whether he's gonna like you
138
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,457
and see if you even like him.
139
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,285
You're Tammy
frickin' Diffendorf.
140
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,156
You are beautiful and fierce
141
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,463
and he's lucky
you're even going out with him.
142
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,509
[laughs]:
Wow!
143
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:06,295
You guys just turned
my whole world around.
144
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:09,820
I am going out on this date
with a blown mind.
145
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,648
He's pulling up.It's happening!
146
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:14,172
Okay, when he knocks...Out of my way!
147
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,660
Are we still worried
about him,Wendy?
148
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,276
Well, well, well.
149
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:36,238
Look who's here
to bum another cigarette.
150
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:37,413
I have my own.
151
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,198
Ooh, your own pack.
That was fast.
152
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:42,679
I still only smoke
once in a while,
153
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,464
I just don't want
to be seen as needy.
154
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,466
Mm. I think with that voice
and those eyes,
155
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,772
that's always gonna
be a problem.
156
00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,992
I can take care of myself.
157
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,778
[groans]
158
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,388
Oh, Christy,
159
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,694
face it.
160
00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,304
You're a real smoker,
161
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:02,699
and a real smoker should
have her own lighter.
162
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:03,961
This was my father's.
163
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,183
And now it's yours.
164
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,793
Seriously?
165
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:12,796
No, I got it from a busboy.
166
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,625
Although it was hisfather's.
167
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:21,544
TV HOST: What started out
as dinner and a movie
168
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:25,722
ended as dinner and a murder.
169
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,942
I'm getting scared.
170
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,552
Marjorie, change the channel.
171
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,859
Marjorie!
172
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:36,864
Uh-oh.
173
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,607
Uhp, there it is.
174
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:44,088
What do you know,
I am gonna be sad when she goes.
175
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:47,396
Tammy's back.
176
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,441
Best date ever.
177
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:52,575
Really?Oh! Marjorie,
wake up, she's home.
178
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,446
I'm awake.
179
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,362
Tell us everything.
180
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,973
Well, I'm so lucky
you guys dressed me up,
181
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:02,803
because he took me
to Olive Garden.
182
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,805
Okay, I've been watching those
commercials for seven years
183
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:08,025
from prison and if anything,
they undersell it.
184
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,549
What's he like?
185
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,551
Oh, he's funny, he's smart--
186
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:14,031
and get this, he doesn't drink.Is he an alcoholic?
187
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,643
No, he has irritable
bowel syndrome.
188
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:19,646
He sounds perfect.
189
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:20,908
Doesn't he, Marjorie?
190
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,608
Oh, Lord, let's at least
shut her mouth.
191
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,922
Tape?
Anybody got any tape?
192
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,099
Was there a good-night kiss?
193
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,101
A lady doesn't
kiss and tell,
194
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:41,798
but I'm no lady, so let me
tell you about the kissing.
195
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,844
It was awesome!
196
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,846
You know the kind of kiss
that leaves you light-headed?
197
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,370
No.
198
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,981
Look at you-- you went
on a date, you stayed sober,
199
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,504
your clothes aren't inside out.
200
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,332
You didn't bring
any of their breadsticks home
201
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,813
for your friend Bonnie,
but otherwise, a success.
202
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:57,727
That's what you think.
203
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,337
[gasps]
What a night!
204
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:01,165
I know!
205
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,385
So when can I text him
to tell him I had fun?
206
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:06,344
Never.
Wait for him to text you.But I want to.
207
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,695
Go ahead. A little
"I had a good time" won't hurt.
208
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,088
[gasps]
They're still warm.
209
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,134
Thanks, Bonnie.
"Had a nice time.
210
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,657
Can't wait to see you again."
211
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:15,876
I guess that's okay.
212
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,094
"I think you're the one."
213
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,182
No!
No!
No!
214
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,925
Oh. How'd it go?
215
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,156
[phone rings]
216
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,553
Hi, Jill.
217
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:46,167
I'm almost there,
driving as fast as I can.
218
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,472
Bye.
219
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,758
[spraying]
220
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:39,960
That was easy.
221
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,747
I'm starving.
Can we please order?
222
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,966
Aren't we gonna
wait for Christy?
223
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,577
No, 'cause I get rude
when I'm hangry.
224
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,057
We're ready,
we're ready!
225
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,799
Oh, I am so gonna
get her fired.
226
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,888
[scoffs] Why isn't Rick
texting me back?
227
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,150
I'm gonna
text him again.
228
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,673
Tammy, I wouldn't.
229
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,154
You texted him four times
in the car on the way over here.
230
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,677
How do I put this gently?
231
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,287
That's something
Christy would do.
232
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:04,811
I just really
like him,
233
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,682
and I haven't liked
anyone in a long time.
234
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,771
Which is great,
but just take it slow.
235
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,078
Food!
236
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,949
I think I have some
almonds in my purse.
237
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,561
No.
238
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:19,869
Maybe my phone is broken.
Will you just text me?
239
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:21,741
No, you're obsessed
with this guy.
240
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,786
"This guy"? His name
is Rick something
241
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,832
and he means
a lot to me.
242
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,095
Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
243
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:31,968
Traffic. What is
happening to Napa?
244
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,796
Have you been smoking?
245
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,667
Why would you
ask me that?
246
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,800
Because you smell like
mouth wash, air freshener,
247
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:40,020
Purell and
dryer sheets.
248
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,065
It's like sitting next to
a freshly cleaned motel room.
249
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:45,721
I'm not smoking.
Did we order yet?
250
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,854
No, 'cause this is hell.
251
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,770
Why do you have a lighter?
252
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,336
Why are you going
through my purse?
253
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,251
I'm your mother.What does that
have to do with it?
254
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:57,167
You came out of my pocketbook,
I get to rifle through yours.
255
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:04,087
[scoffs]
Okay, yes, I'm smoking,
256
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,394
but I'm not drinking,
I'm not gambling,
257
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,787
I'm not sleeping
with married men.
258
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,266
Let me have this.
259
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,225
[phone chimes][gasps] It's him!
260
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,749
Shoot, Amber Alert.
261
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,579
White pickup, Utah plates.
Keep your eyes open.
262
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:20,147
Tammy, stop with the phone.
You're driving yourself crazy.
263
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,802
You're driving us all crazy.
You're acting pathetic.
264
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:25,587
[phone chimes]
265
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:29,330
Not him, but, yes, Wendy,
Bonnie was a little harsh.
266
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,814
Not out loud. You trying
to get me killed?
267
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,816
[mouths]
268
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,863
Hi, I'd like to make
an order for delivery.
269
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,735
Yeah, my address is the booth
with the woman waving.
270
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,611
[upbeat music playing]
271
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,182
[knocking on door]
272
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,489
[music stops]
273
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,013
Yeah?
274
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:03,668
Hey, Bonnie,
what's happening?
275
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,714
What is happening?
276
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,327
You gals talking about Zumba
277
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,722
inspired me to get out
my old Jazzercise tapes.
278
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:17,987
There's a lot to mock here,
but I need your advice.
279
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,684
This thing with Tammy
is driving me...
280
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,775
Okay, we need to lose this.
281
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:25,777
I just don't know what to do.
282
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,910
She's gonna get her heart broken
and I'm worried about her.
283
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,956
[chuckles]
What?
284
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:32,175
I'm taking a moment
to enjoy
285
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,612
that you're worrying about
somebody other than yourself.
286
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,180
You've really changed.
287
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,704
Oh. Thank you.
288
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:43,795
You can have this back.
It's actually kind of wet.
289
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,972
Okay, here's the deal,
290
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,103
I know what's
best for Tammy.
291
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,192
How do I get her
to listen to me?
292
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,499
You don't know what's best
for her, Bonnie.
293
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,849
She has to have
her own experiences.
294
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,418
The only thing you can do
is share yours, if she asks.
295
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,985
But she's not asking.Well, then shut up.
296
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,988
You shut up.
297
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,990
Sorry, you were saying?
298
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:05,992
You know, when you
started dating Adam,
299
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,037
I thought you were
making a big mistake.
300
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,647
What's wrong with Adam?
301
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,041
Well, I just didn't like him,
302
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,651
and I didn't think
you were ready,
303
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,436
but you proved me wrong
because you are
304
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,960
handling this relationship
so beautifully.
305
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:22,095
Thank you. What exactly
didn't you like about him?
306
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:26,229
Well, he had a certain swagger
I didn't appreciate,
307
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:29,711
and apparently, before you,
he was a bit of a tomcat.
308
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:34,063
"Swagger"? That's a great way
to put it. So arrogant.
309
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,022
My point is, I was wrong.
310
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,588
I'm not sure you were.
311
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,329
We're running into
ex-girlfriends all the time.
312
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,027
Bonnie, listen...Williams-Sonoma,
313
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,638
I am buying nice plates
for the first time in my life,
314
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:44,987
and who's wrapping them up?
315
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,207
Jaqueline with her big,
fake fingernails.
316
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,210
Why didn't you
tell me this back then?
317
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:53,300
You didn't ask for my opinion,
318
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:55,519
like Tammy hasn't
asked for yours.
319
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,869
Fine, fine, got it.
320
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:01,308
Okay. Now if you don't mind,
321
00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:03,397
I would like to go back
to Jazzercise.
322
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,486
Would you like
to join me?
323
00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:09,620
I would not, but I
definitely want to watch.
324
00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:11,100
[upbeat music plays]
325
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,025
Hi.
326
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,245
Hi.You okay?
327
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:28,291
Uh, yeah, I just pulled
a muscle Jazzercising.
328
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,774
By the way, your ass
appears to be on fire.
329
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:37,170
Fine, caught me.
Cue the lecture.
330
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,345
No lecture.
331
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:39,650
Oh, come on, you don't think
332
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:40,825
this is self-destructive
behavior?
333
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,392
Oh, honey,
334
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:45,656
I get it. I went
through the whole
335
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,616
"finding ways to be naughty
in sobriety" thing.
336
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:52,315
In fact, when I had
about five years,
337
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:55,057
I developed a massive
crush on Marvin,
338
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,233
the guy that I had
the coffee commitment with.
339
00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:58,408
Ooh.
340
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:02,064
No, not "ooh."
He was married and so was I.
341
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,501
Ooh.
Yeah.
342
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:07,026
All we did
was flirt, but...
343
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,158
it did give me a thrill,
344
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,465
and at the time,
I really needed that.
345
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,162
So what happened?
346
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:15,469
Oh, I kept working
the program, and so did he,
347
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:19,255
and we got better
and the flirting stopped.
348
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,258
Also, one night
he wore a denim vest.
349
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,394
Well, my Marvin and I
are still flirting.
350
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:31,050
[chuckles] Okay.
I'll see you inside.
351
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:36,620
[grunting]
352
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,101
What was I
trying to prove?
353
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,416
[phone ringing]Hi, Bonnie.
354
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:52,506
Hi, Tammy.
355
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:56,075
I'm calling 'cause
I owe you an apology.
356
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,815
I was too hard on you.
357
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,295
You're not pathetic
358
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:02,342
and I was wrong to say
you were obsessing about Rick.
359
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:05,823
Thanks, Big Sauce, that means
a lot. You're forgiven.
360
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:08,348
Good. So what are you up to?
361
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:10,306
I'm sitting across the street
from Rick's house.
362
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,615
Are you?
363
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,444
And I may have binoculars.
364
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:19,446
Uh-huh.
365
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,926
Am I as crazy as I feel?
366
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,407
Are you asking my opinion?I am.
367
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,585
Where are you exactly?
368
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,636
You took an Uber
to stalk a guy?
369
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,507
You know I don't drive.
370
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:40,597
Bonnie, Yuri. Yuri, Bonnie.Good evening.
371
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,469
Uh, would you like to have
mint, water, phone charger?
372
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:43,774
I'm fine.
373
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:46,995
Why are you doing this?
Eh, as long as I'm here.
374
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,301
I still hadn't
heard from Rick,
375
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,172
so I went to Home Depot
to say hi,
376
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,522
and he walks away and says
he has to do something
377
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,611
in aisle three, so I
follow him to aisle three
378
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,439
and he's not doing anything.
So I say to him,
379
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,788
"You're not
doing anything,"
380
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,616
and he says,
"I can't talk right now.
381
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,836
I'll call you later
when I get home."
382
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:05,231
Six hours go by, no call,
so I came to see if he's home.
383
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,494
He's home!
384
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:10,453
He can clearly be seen
eating pizza in his boxers.
385
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,063
So what do I do?
386
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:14,849
In my experience,
387
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,808
if a guy would rather
eat alone in his underwear,
388
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,636
he's not interested.
389
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,204
I know.
You do?
390
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:25,251
I just didn't want
to admit it to myself.
391
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:28,776
Tissues are in pocket
in front of you.
392
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,387
[crying]: I'm gonna be single
the rest of my life.
393
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:34,434
No, you're not.
I have done way worse than this.
394
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,262
Sitting outside
his house?
395
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,350
Try moving
into his attic
396
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,916
without him knowing
for three weeks.
397
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,918
You didn't
really do that.
398
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,356
Sure did. There was a website
warning people about me.
399
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,794
But now I'm
getting married,
400
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:48,839
and I'm not as crazy
as I used to be,
401
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:51,538
and I found a guy who loves
the crazy that's still there.
402
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,148
You're gonna learn from this,
and next time,
403
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,410
you'll do it
differently.
404
00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:56,499
[scoffs] If there
ever is a next time.
405
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,936
It may not happen right away,
but it will happen.
406
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,072
I think you've waited
long enough.
407
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:07,815
May I take you
for dinner sometime?
408
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:11,471
I'd love that. Let's go now!
Bonnie, out!
409
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,951
Hey, can we go to Olive Garden?No problem.
410
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:30,577
You don't do anything
halfway, do you?
411
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,840
Are you gonna smoke with me
or just judge?
412
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:35,756
No, thanks, I quit.How?
413
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:39,150
I just stopped.
It's called having character.
414
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,935
Have fun out here.
415
00:20:40,978 --> 00:20:43,198
I will!
416
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,810
[thunderclap]
417
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,469
Oh...
418
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:55,297
Oh, come on!
419
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,125
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
420
00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:59,170
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org
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