All language subtitles for Married With Children-0621

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:16.200 --> 00:01:18.873 - Daddy, do I have to watch this? - Yes, you do. 2 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:21.395 As your father, when I find something of quality... 3 00:01:21.600 --> 00:01:24.558 ...I feel it's my responsibility that my child reap the benefits. 4 00:01:24.760 --> 00:01:25.988 TV is not all trash. 5 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:31.151 And now, back to Psycho Dad. 6 00:01:33.360 --> 00:01:36.272 A little touched Or so we're told 7 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:39.711 He killed his wife Because she had a cold 8 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:42.639 - Might as well, she was getting old - Getting old 9 00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:46.750 Psycho Dad Psycho Dad 10 00:01:46.960 --> 00:01:48.552 Psycho Dad 11 00:01:48.760 --> 00:01:53.629 He's quick with a gun And his job ain't done 12 00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:58.550 Killed three wives by 21 He's Psycho Dad 13 00:01:59.800 --> 00:02:03.270 This is why we must give to PBS. 14 00:02:04.720 --> 00:02:06.950 Oh, I'm so sick. 15 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:19.320 Can someone get me some water? 16 00:02:19.720 --> 00:02:22.553 You know where the kitchen is. 17 00:02:22.760 --> 00:02:24.796 Or maybe you don't. 18 00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:29.600 Daddy, she is sick. She needs help. 19 00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:33.759 Mom, the kitchen's over there somewhere. 20 00:02:36.480 --> 00:02:38.596 All right, fine. Be that way. 21 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:41.400 But I hope you realize, the longer I stay sick... 22 00:02:41.600 --> 00:02:44.717 ...the longer it'll be before I do any housework around here. 23 00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:47.110 Oh, gee, Peg. 24 00:02:47.320 --> 00:02:49.436 But we can still have sex, can't we? 25 00:02:55.320 --> 00:02:58.995 Mom, Dad, Grandma. 26 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:02.998 A weird thing happened to me at school. 27 00:03:03.200 --> 00:03:06.397 My English teacher, Miss McGowen, she was looking at me. 28 00:03:08.640 --> 00:03:12.235 She looked right at you? Is she all right? 29 00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:17.877 Listen, Craftmatic Adjustable Girl... 30 00:03:19.600 --> 00:03:20.874 ...I know the look. 31 00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:25.432 I get it plenty as I parade the total package around town. 32 00:03:25.640 --> 00:03:30.236 It's the look that says, "You've got it all and I want a piece of it." 33 00:03:30.480 --> 00:03:33.552 I've seen that look a thousand times on a thousand faces. 34 00:03:33.760 --> 00:03:35.876 And I saw it again today. 35 00:03:37.760 --> 00:03:41.435 I'm not kidding. It was desire. Desire, I tell you. 36 00:03:41.680 --> 00:03:45.360 Well, the great thing is that you're at your sexual peak. 37 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:48.516 This is it, Bud. "She looked at me." 38 00:03:48.720 --> 00:03:52.429 Yeah, that was the top of the hill. The supreme moment. 39 00:03:52.640 --> 00:03:55.757 Something to tell your cats about when you're 60. 40 00:03:56.480 --> 00:04:00.359 You know, when you think they're looking at you, but they only want food. 41 00:04:01.200 --> 00:04:04.590 You know, this is almost too sad to spread around the mall. 42 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:06.950 Yep, almost. 43 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:11.873 It is possible she looked at me. Isn't it, Dad? 44 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:14.958 Bud, didn't I take you to Little League when you were 8? 45 00:04:15.160 --> 00:04:17.833 - Yes. - Then what do you want from me? 46 00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:23.355 See, I told you he wouldn't have a date. 47 00:04:25.160 --> 00:04:27.355 - Now go ahead and ask him. - All right. 48 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:31.752 Hey, we're on our way to Chuck E. Cheese... 49 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:35.750 ...and we'd be honored if you'd go with us. 50 00:04:35.960 --> 00:04:39.157 We don't want you to think that we're taking you somewhere out of pity. 51 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:42.477 - It's really a happening place, right? - Oh, yeah. As the kids say: 52 00:04:42.680 --> 00:04:46.434 "It's uptight, out of sight, and everything'll be all right!" 53 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:49.917 You can pretend it's your birthday and we'll get you a Chuck E. Ducky. 54 00:04:50.120 --> 00:04:52.634 It makes bath time fun. 55 00:04:54.920 --> 00:04:57.753 What does it look like I am, the kid in Mask? 56 00:04:58.400 --> 00:04:59.758 I am popular. 57 00:04:59.960 --> 00:05:02.269 You get that, people? Popular. 58 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:04.675 Now can I get a "Whoa, Bud is popular"? 59 00:05:05.320 --> 00:05:08.357 How about a "Whoa, shoot the boy"? 60 00:05:09.840 --> 00:05:12.752 I see. Well, get a load of this. 61 00:05:12.960 --> 00:05:15.952 Today at school, a teacher was looking at me like I was breakfast. 62 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:21.188 - What do you think of that, D'Arcy? - I think that deserves an extra topping. 63 00:05:22.800 --> 00:05:25.917 She was looking at me. She was, she was. 64 00:05:26.440 --> 00:05:30.350 She was looking at me like Mrs. D'Arcy used to look at me. 65 00:05:33.640 --> 00:05:35.596 You mean like this? 66 00:05:39.400 --> 00:05:42.112 Well, yeah, but it was even more bold with desire. 67 00:05:42.360 --> 00:05:46.690 All right, a commercial's on now, I guess I have to get into this. 68 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:50.360 What are you people trying to do, ruin my boy's confidence? 69 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:54.711 Now, if he says a teacher looked at him, I say a teacher looked at him. 70 00:05:54.920 --> 00:05:57.388 Son, was this a female teacher? 71 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:00.991 Yes, Dad. 72 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:05.237 - Seriously? - Yes. 73 00:06:05.440 --> 00:06:06.953 All right, then, let's celebrate. 74 00:06:07.200 --> 00:06:09.953 You sit right down here and you watch TV. 75 00:06:10.200 --> 00:06:12.668 Listen, is that Chuck E. Cheese place good? 76 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:16.674 We were only going to do it for the boy because he was alone on Friday night. 77 00:06:16.880 --> 00:06:18.472 Well, I'm alone on Friday night too. 78 00:06:18.680 --> 00:06:23.356 Well, gee, Al, it's too bad that the Hair Club for Men isn't a real club, eh? 79 00:06:24.400 --> 00:06:26.755 Take me to Chuck E. Cheese. You were gonna take Bud. 80 00:06:26.960 --> 00:06:28.712 Don't make me beg. Come on. 81 00:06:29.880 --> 00:06:32.952 Well, Bud, I guess it's just you and me. 82 00:06:33.200 --> 00:06:35.156 My boy and his sick mother... 83 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:37.271 ...who nursed you when you were a baby... 84 00:06:37.480 --> 00:06:41.712 ...who fed you and nurtured you and now all she asks for in return... 85 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.833 ...is some soup from Jerry's and a burger from Don's... 86 00:06:46.400 --> 00:06:48.270 ...and a meatball hero from Tratatorio's... 87 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:51.438 ...and a snow cone from Izzi's at the airport. 88 00:06:52.320 --> 00:06:53.958 Mom, it's Friday night. 89 00:06:54.200 --> 00:06:57.237 Oh, my mama 90 00:06:57.440 --> 00:07:01.399 To me she was so beautiful 91 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:05.229 Oh, my mama 92 00:07:05.760 --> 00:07:08.638 - Okay, okay, I'll go. - That's a good boy. 93 00:07:08.840 --> 00:07:10.512 Get me some tampons too. 94 00:07:16.880 --> 00:07:18.836 Of course. 95 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:25.878 Gee, Buck, no one loves you when you're sick. 96 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:28.429 Come give Mommy a kiss. 97 00:07:37.880 --> 00:07:41.770 Coming next fall, Psycho Mom. 98 00:07:43.560 --> 00:07:46.552 Who's that gal who needs no man 99 00:07:46.760 --> 00:07:49.752 Killed him dead with a frying pan 100 00:07:49.960 --> 00:07:52.872 Did it 'cause he missed the can 101 00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:56.390 Psycho Mom Psycho Mom 102 00:07:56.600 --> 00:07:58.955 She's Psycho Mom 103 00:07:59.840 --> 00:08:03.230 - On Fox. - Naturally. 104 00:08:05.240 --> 00:08:09.279 And your next quiz will be on the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe. 105 00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:13.871 She may not be looking at me now, but she was too looking at me. 106 00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:15.479 I just know it. 107 00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.399 And why not? Lots of girls look at me. 108 00:08:19.720 --> 00:08:22.871 I know she's looking at me. 109 00:08:35.800 --> 00:08:37.711 Maybe everybody was right. 110 00:08:37.920 --> 00:08:40.354 Why would Miss McGowen look at me? 111 00:08:40.560 --> 00:08:42.312 Who cares? She's 40. 112 00:08:42.520 --> 00:08:44.715 What would I want with a 40-year-old woman? 113 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:51.196 I want that. 114 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.673 I want that bad. 115 00:08:57.720 --> 00:08:59.676 Class dismissed. 116 00:09:02.400 --> 00:09:03.992 Except for you, Mr. Bundy. 117 00:09:04.800 --> 00:09:06.280 What could this be? 118 00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:09.550 I hope she didn't notice me staring obsessively at her legs. 119 00:09:09.760 --> 00:09:14.993 Mr. Bundy, I've noticed you during class staring obsessively at my legs. 120 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:19.276 Well, at least she didn't catch me looking at other things. 121 00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:21.710 And other things. 122 00:09:22.920 --> 00:09:24.399 Gulp. 123 00:09:24.640 --> 00:09:29.714 Your behavior, Mr. Bundy, has finally forced me to take action. 124 00:09:30.920 --> 00:09:34.370 I understand, Miss McGowen. Do what you must. 125 00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:02.431 Aspirin. Honey, give me an aspirin before I die. 126 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:05.277 Why me? 127 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:09.358 What about the old guy who lives in your room? 128 00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:13.875 Well, if you mean Daddy, he's at Chuck E. Cheese. 129 00:10:14.160 --> 00:10:16.993 He's been there every night this week. 130 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:19.156 Since he discovered that the pizza's free... 131 00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:23.353 ...if he just pretends to be with whatever kid's having a birthday party. 132 00:10:25.480 --> 00:10:29.519 Well, I guess I have to start walking a little bit prouder now, eh? 133 00:10:29.760 --> 00:10:32.877 - Give Mommy some aspirin, honey. - Sure, Mommy. 134 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:37.511 Hey, Bud, get Mom some aspirin. Everyone else has a date. 135 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:43.159 No, Kel, everyone has a date. 136 00:10:52.600 --> 00:10:55.592 Is it hot in here or is it just me? 137 00:10:58.160 --> 00:11:02.233 He's in a suit. Is there a funeral at school today? 138 00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:06.678 Yes, 'tis the death of Bud Bundy, lonely boy... 139 00:11:06.880 --> 00:11:10.475 ...and the birth of Stud Bundy, only boy. 140 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:15.670 I have a date. 141 00:11:15.880 --> 00:11:19.350 A date? Holy Hannah. 142 00:11:22.400 --> 00:11:25.919 Hello, Reverend Felcher? Has hell frozen over? 143 00:11:27.520 --> 00:11:29.192 Well, something's up. 144 00:11:29.400 --> 00:11:32.631 My brother has a date. Yes, Bud. 145 00:11:34.520 --> 00:11:37.193 I know. I know church is the place to be at times like this. 146 00:11:37.400 --> 00:11:38.799 I'm coming right over. 147 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:42.913 Now, you're the building with the big T on top, right? 148 00:11:48.160 --> 00:11:52.551 - Daddy, the sky is falling. - It would. Just when I start eating. 149 00:11:53.520 --> 00:11:57.690 Peg, look at this. Look what I won playing Skee-Ball. 150 00:11:57.280 --> 00:12:00.158 Actually, I was a couple tickets short so I copped a few... 151 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:03.352 ...from a kid in a stroller who was too young to tell on me. 152 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:07.718 Yeah, he can point and cry, but let's see that hold up in court. 153 00:12:08.200 --> 00:12:11.397 - Son, you gotta come with me. - Sorry, Dad, I can't... 154 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:14.353 ...because I have two things you don't have: A date... 155 00:12:14.560 --> 00:12:16.915 ...and an ounce of pride. 156 00:12:21.760 --> 00:12:23.432 Son, if you had an ounce of pride... 157 00:12:23.640 --> 00:12:25.995 ...you wouldn't lie to us about having a date. 158 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:31.793 That must be her now. A half hour early, I might add. 159 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:33.672 Well, who can blame her? 160 00:12:33.880 --> 00:12:36.758 Sometimes I can't wait to touch myself either. 161 00:12:42.760 --> 00:12:45.274 Well, you know what I mean. 162 00:12:45.920 --> 00:12:48.309 I'm afraid we do. 163 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:55.228 Darlene? 164 00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:04.669 I shall now leave you to your tissue-and cheese-infested lives. 165 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:10.276 Word is you've been dating Miss McGowen. 166 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:13.552 Yeah, well, I'd hate to deny her this. 167 00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:18.310 Well, what about me? 168 00:13:18.520 --> 00:13:20.556 I mean, I'd like to see you too. 169 00:13:20.800 --> 00:13:23.872 Why? I mean, sure. 170 00:13:24.800 --> 00:13:26.230 - Why? - Well, I can't help but think... 171 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:31.150 ...you must be quite a lover if an older woman wants you. 172 00:13:31.880 --> 00:13:35.634 Yeah, well, Miss McGowen... Dotty and I. 173 00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:37.796 - we have this exclusive thing, you know... 174 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:40.309 ..."Be true to your schoolmarm" and all that. 175 00:13:47.520 --> 00:13:51.638 But then, I guess the old lady can wait for half an hour. 176 00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:01.676 What are you doing? 177 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:06.318 Little Andy Goldstein's having a birthday. 178 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:13.690 Box is empty, but by the time he finds out, I'll be full and gone. 179 00:14:15.880 --> 00:14:20.556 - Don't you care at all that I'm sick? - Well, of course I do, honey. 180 00:14:20.800 --> 00:14:23.712 How do you want me to prove it? You want me to swim a river? 181 00:14:23.920 --> 00:14:27.549 - Climb a mountain? Slay a dragon? - Bring me an aspirin. 182 00:14:27.800 --> 00:14:30.268 Can't do it, babe. Gotta go to Chuck E. Cheese. 183 00:14:31.280 --> 00:14:33.770 And that's another thing, Al. 184 00:14:33.280 --> 00:14:36.716 I am tired of you coming to bed smelling of extra cheese. 185 00:14:36.920 --> 00:14:39.309 I can't believe no one cares. 186 00:14:39.520 --> 00:14:41.351 And now with Bud going out every night... 187 00:14:41.560 --> 00:14:43.949 ...there's never anyone here to take care of me. 188 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:45.428 Oh, come on, Peg. 189 00:14:45.640 --> 00:14:48.154 Go on upstairs and I'll bring you some juice. 190 00:14:49.560 --> 00:14:52.154 This time for real? 191 00:14:52.400 --> 00:14:53.992 Just as soon as you're in bed. 192 00:14:59.520 --> 00:15:02.796 - Well, I'm trusting you. - You won't be disappointed. 193 00:15:08.120 --> 00:15:10.509 And if you are, I won't be here. 194 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:16.959 Bud, listen, your mother says she needs some juice... 195 00:15:17.160 --> 00:15:19.116 ...or an aspirin or something real bad. 196 00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:22.517 - Dad, I'm too tired. - No pressure. Do it tomorrow. 197 00:15:26.280 --> 00:15:29.590 I'm going out again tomorrow. In fact, I'm going out again tonight. 198 00:15:29.800 --> 00:15:31.438 - Dad, I need to talk to you. - Son... 199 00:15:31.640 --> 00:15:34.438 ...you know I got the Goldstein affair tonight. 200 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:36.918 It'll only take a minute. 201 00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:39.674 I've been seeing two women at once. It's wearing me out. 202 00:15:39.880 --> 00:15:41.598 I don't know how to juggle two women. 203 00:15:41.800 --> 00:15:43.392 Did you ever have this problem? 204 00:15:43.640 --> 00:15:46.359 You're talking to old number 33. 205 00:15:46.920 --> 00:15:48.956 You know how I got that number? 206 00:15:49.160 --> 00:15:52.436 Because the most money you've ever had was 33 cents? 207 00:15:53.240 --> 00:15:56.915 No! Because that's how many women deep the line was... 208 00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:59.873 ...to ride the wild Bundy. 209 00:16:02.800 --> 00:16:04.791 Back in those days, everybody wanted a piece. 210 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:06.831 I had anyone to choose from. 211 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:16.191 But we don't always choose what's best for us. 212 00:16:17.640 --> 00:16:19.437 And this two-women-juggling thing: 213 00:16:19.640 --> 00:16:22.598 Eventually, the problem is they both fall down on you. 214 00:16:22.800 --> 00:16:25.394 So save yourself some pain and pick one. 215 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.797 - What if I pick the wrong one? - Oh, you will. 216 00:16:29.560 --> 00:16:32.791 No matter who you pick, it'll be the wrong one. 217 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:36.595 And not just because you're a Bundy, because you're a man. 218 00:16:36.800 --> 00:16:39.792 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get to the party... 219 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.514 ...before fat Billy Applebaum eats all my pizza. 220 00:16:44.920 --> 00:16:49.380 He comes to every one of those damn parties. All us kids hate him. 221 00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:53.594 Dad, did I mention one of these women was 40 and my teacher? 222 00:16:59.400 --> 00:17:01.516 No, you did not. 223 00:17:02.520 --> 00:17:03.794 I think she loves me, Dad. 224 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:07.709 Son, I say this not to hurt, but to educate. 225 00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:11.595 You see, son, I'm afraid it may not be you she's after. 226 00:17:11.800 --> 00:17:15.918 I'm afraid she might be after the vast Bundy fortune. 227 00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:18.836 She wants everything we have! 228 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:23.150 Dad, I've seen the trunk of her car. She's got everything we have. 229 00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:25.633 It's still not right. 230 00:17:25.840 --> 00:17:29.913 Son, you got plenty of time to date 40-year-old women when you're 70. 231 00:17:30.120 --> 00:17:33.749 No, wait, wait a minute. Make that 35 when you're 80. 232 00:17:33.960 --> 00:17:36.679 Yeah, that feels more right to me. 233 00:17:36.920 --> 00:17:39.514 Yep, that's what I want when I'm old: 234 00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:43.872 A drool nurse with luscious honkers wiping my chin... 235 00:17:44.800 --> 00:17:48.870 ...shaking her heinie while she washes my dentures in the sink. 236 00:17:50.800 --> 00:17:52.995 That's what keeps me going. 237 00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:56.397 That and the 12 pizzas I've eaten in the last three days. 238 00:17:57.520 --> 00:18:01.308 Thanks, Dad. Once again, you wow me with your wisdom. 239 00:18:01.520 --> 00:18:03.636 But I've decided I'm keeping them both. 240 00:18:03.840 --> 00:18:06.350 For once, a Bundy's gonna have it all. 241 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:13.431 I guess he'll have to learn for himself what a rock-solid relationship means. 242 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:16.672 Al, where's my orange juice? 243 00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:18.956 Florida, I reckon. 244 00:18:23.720 --> 00:18:28.191 Yup, two, two, two babes at once. 245 00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:31.475 God, I envy me. 246 00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:33.472 Hey, did you guys hear the news? 247 00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:36.240 Miss McGowen's dating a student. 248 00:18:36.760 --> 00:18:38.751 She ran off with a football player. 249 00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:43.317 Yeah, she said he was the only one that could ever satisfy her. 250 00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:45.113 No big thing. 251 00:18:45.320 --> 00:18:48.869 That leaves me more time to give to the young babe. 252 00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:53.154 Good news, babe. Now you got me all to yourself. 253 00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:55.197 Drop dead. 254 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:57.960 If you can't satisfy an older woman like Miss McGowen... 255 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:00.720 ...what the hell would I want with you? 256 00:19:02.560 --> 00:19:05.597 Well, let's just see how you feel when the new teacher gets here. 257 00:19:05.800 --> 00:19:08.917 I haven't seen a temp yet that didn't need a little loving. 258 00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:14.590 I'm Mrs. A. Mariner... 259 00:19:14.800 --> 00:19:17.917 ...and I'll be the new teacher for the rest of the semester. 260 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:27.948 And then again, there's always Chuck E. Cheese with Dad. 261 00:19:28.560 --> 00:19:32.758 Well, the great thing about being at the bottom is you can't fall any lower. 262 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:36.148 You cradle-robber! 263 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:40.556 You, you... Cher! 264 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.594 Maybe it can get worse. 265 00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:47.832 Hey, look, it can. 266 00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:50.918 I just lost control of my bladder. 267 00:19:54.320 --> 00:19:57.596 I know what you want, "Miss Gabor." 268 00:19:57.800 --> 00:19:59.392 You see that house and that Dodge... 269 00:19:59.600 --> 00:20:02.340 ...and say, "Some people live like this, why can't I?" 270 00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:06.438 Well, you can't just take my son, have your way sexually with him... 271 00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:09.393 ...and not expect some repercussions from a concerned parent. 272 00:20:09.600 --> 00:20:12.717 I played high school football. I know the score. 273 00:20:15.600 --> 00:20:18.876 Son, are you really going out with this prune-face? 274 00:20:21.800 --> 00:20:23.674 What strange hold do you have over the boy? 275 00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:28.192 How many happy homes have you broken in your thousand years? 276 00:20:32.120 --> 00:20:34.554 Sure, I know my boy is almost a virgin. 277 00:20:37.600 --> 00:20:41.360 But you can no longer take advantage. I have called the proper authorities. 278 00:20:41.280 --> 00:20:44.829 There she is. The strumpet with the blue hair. 279 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:48.000 I'll tell you something else. She lied about her age. 280 00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:51.330 Last time she saw 40 was 1840. 281 00:20:59.600 --> 00:21:03.309 I'm sorry I had to do that, son, but damn it, I love you! 282 00:21:07.120 --> 00:21:09.270 Oh, Bud, Mommy's out of tampons. 283 00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:20.515 Oh, yeah, that's what was missing. 284 00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:27.153 Now, right off, I don't know that man. 285 00:21:28.320 --> 00:21:31.392 You guys are probably thinking, because he called me son... 286 00:21:31.600 --> 00:21:33.830 ...that he was my Dad. 287 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:40.319 Wait a second. Maybe this is a dream. Yeah, that's it. 288 00:21:40.520 --> 00:21:43.557 If this were really happening, I'd have to drop out of college. 289 00:21:43.760 --> 00:21:46.228 I'll wake up any second. 290 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:48.791 Wake up, Bud. 291 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:51.719 Oh, I mean, can't you hear me crying? 292 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:53.876 Wake me up. 293 00:21:54.800 --> 00:21:56.719 I know. I'll prove it's a dream. 294 00:21:56.920 --> 00:21:59.309 I'll take down my pants... 295 00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.910 ... and it'll be so embarrassing, I'll wake up. 296 00:22:12.520 --> 00:22:15.637 I'm even dreaming I ran out of underwear. 297 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:21.671 Oh, and son... 24638

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.