Original subtitles

Besides the constant urge and inability to pee...

Are there other symptoms?

I'll just have a look.

Relax.

God is so unfair.

I take the cable car every day,

but I've never seen you.

Maybe I've been paying too much attention to the scenery.

What can I say? I'm a photographer.

My name is Xie Xiaomeng.

You can just call me Charles.

Every time I look at the city

from this angle...

I feel, so strongly, that the city is a mother.

And we're living inside her womb.

Pervert!

I was just thinking about that when...

I looked up and saw you.

Something about you touched me deeply.

You know what it is?

Maternal spirit. The glorious aroma of maternal spirit.

Miss Li, is this the jade tiling

we originally used?

Yes, you liked it so much!

You wanted to build the men's room entirely with jade.

Bring it down, bring it all down!

Bring this stone to Master Zhang

so he can examine it.

Hurry up, bring it down!

Bring it all down!

Get moving! We don't want any trouble.

Ah, Xie.

You're really something!

We haven't been paid for eight months straight.

Now that's really impressive!

What is it?

Chairman Feng understands your situation.

He knows you can't pay back the loan.

Seeing as you already mortgaged the land to us,

Chairman Feng has drafted a contract,

So sign it, and we'll call it even.

I'm telling you,

Lay everyone off early,

Give them time to find a new job.

Now that would be a good deed.

Don't we still have another three weeks?

What're you hollering about?

Bring it down!

Watch out!

Salute!

You're so useless, really

I should just nuke you!

I'm really gonna do it!

What are you looking at?

Move!

Hello.

Is that your truck?

You can't park here.

Your driver's license, please.

And your business registration?

They... They're in the car.

Smoke?

No, thanks.

We're moving house. If we can't park here,

Where can we park?

We really have no idea.

C'mon, give us a break.

Rules are rules, even if you're moving.

Go!

This job is fucked.

Some people got to learn the hard way.

Dumb shit!

Son of a bitch!

The winning numbers for the 5th prize are...

...61... 61... 40...

You'll be struck dead 8 times by lightning before you win anything,

Forget about it!

The doctor said you shouldn't even ride a bike,

What are you doing driving a car?

Aiya! Don't tell anyone.

I'm practicing with the factory car.

A precious jade stone was found

in a local handicraft factory...

It's an extremely rare type of jade...

Bao, they're talking about us!

Are you nuts?

American dollars don't just fall from the sky!

Bao! Up there!

Cable car!

Hey!

Why don't you just drop dead inside there!

Or jump to your death!

You must be looking for trouble

May your son be born with no asshole!

Gutsy!

Gutsy! Very high-tech!

Auto pilot!

Can't you see?

you Bump Me, you Weep

Don't drive if you can't, you retard!

Hey! Mind your manners. Don't scold me!

I'm scolding you, so what?

So bloody what?

You smashed my car,

so I'm scolding you.

And I'll beat you up!

San Bao!

- Help! - San Bao!

Help!

San Bao... San Bao.

Officer, they hit me.

They smashed my car and hit me!

You want to handle it officially or privately?

Privately, privately.

Privately, that'll do.

This will cost at least 8,000 yuan.

The headlight alone is 5,000.

Give me the money!

Hurry up! Hurry up!

That's all I have.

I've only got 3,000 yuan.

3,000! What if you run away?

Give me your license.

I'll return it once you've paid in full.

That's all we have for today.

I only have 2,000 on my credit card.

What are you drawing?

Think it through yet?

Think it through your ass!

All these butts don't add up to one decent cigarette.

Besides, you don't even pay us.

Why should I bother to think about it?

Look at this jade.

The one in the Palace Museum pales

before ours.

If it hadn't been for Master Zhang's sharp eyes,

it'd still be sitting in the toilet.

I'm planning a big exhibition,

The jade on a podium, a song-and-dance number.

If the show turns out successful...

The jade will sell for a great price.

You're our only

police academy graduate.

The future of 200 factory workers lies in your hands.

It's do or die. You've got to hang in there!

I studied to be a detective...

Not a security guard.

You should go to an insurance company.

But the premium would cost a fortune.

I'd rather save on that and pay the staff more.

Isn't that better?

Okay, 4,800 yuan, 8 months' wages.

I'll pay! I'll pay everyone!

A precious stone hidden for 20 years

It's a hoax!

Even a gallstone God shits out

isn't worth 18 million.

Cheap tricks!

Don't get mad.

Look, I took his driver's license.

I don't care how you do it,

I want that piece of real estate.

What if that stone suddenly disappears?

Fly, baby, fly!

A consummate marksman!

A real master! So low-key, so discreet!

A tailor!

No, costume designer.

Let's get to the point:

how much?

100,000 US.

Should I book you a room?

A car will do.

An exhibition should be held in an exhibition hall!

Not in a dump like this.

This is a tourist spot.

Too many people is high-risk.

Detective work 101. Get it?

You're just a security guy watching over a stone.

So what are you yapping about?

Detective work.

What we need is tourist business.

This way

you even save on advertising.

Yes, you save on advertising.

A rundown temple, its doors don't even close.

How can we make this place secure?

If we were doing this in the Great Hall of the People...

we wouldn't need you, would we?

Stop this! Stop this arguing!

We're all here for one thing.

We're here to keep our jobs.

Bao, we've so many guys hanging around doing nothing,

Go on, put together a security team.

Dad...

What now?

Aiya! I got in an accident!

All you do is make my life difficult.

Ouch!

Quit hitting it!

The bones are all right, but not the muscles.

I crashed Xiao Si's car into a wall.

Xiao Si is still in the hospital.

Another great job you've done!

Go ahead, hit me! All you know is to hit me!

Xiao Si's still in the hospital!

Please give me some money.

You good-for-nothing!

No money! Get lost!

Xie! Xie!

Don't get so angry with your son.

Dad, it's life and death.

If he dies,

it's more than a matter of money.

Sooner or later you'll drive me to the grave.

How much?

How about 5,000 yuan for starters?

5,000?

I'm not a money-printing machine!

That's all I have.

That's all? It's not enough.

How about the credit card?

Credit card! I'll chop your head off!

Xie, Xie!

Don't use force!

I'll chop it off!

Okay, I'm going, I'm going.

He's lost his mind.

Are you done?

Romancing a girl takes money.

No money, no girl.

If you need money, ask your dad.

Tell your dad...

That you've been kidnapped.

I can't imagine he'd abandon you.

Fighting with your father - what fun!

Okay, gotta go.

I'm in a meeting.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

Help! Someone please help me!

I'll kill you!

Watch it, will you?

Sorry, Bro'!

Sir...

Can you tell me

what it says here?

Hey man, you won! 50,000 yuan!

Oh, I won!

How do I claim the prize?

Look here.

It says right here... Beijing!

Beijing.

I've never been to Beijing. What should I do?

You can sell it to me.

I've got, let's see... 5,000 yuan.

What do you say?

Hey, comrade...

He wins fifty grand, and you give him 5,000...

That's a rip-off.

Hey, brother...

I'll give you 10,000 for it, deal?

But it says 50,000 here.

Let's get off. I'll get you the money

I have my credit card. 20,000!

No credit card, I want cash.

I have some cash here.

5,000 yuan.

Lady, I don't have enough on me.

Let's be partners.

We buy it off him for 10,000,

Then we claim the prize and split it 50-50.

A whole morning's scamming and nothing to show for it.

We're not pros at this.

It's not working.

Screw this play-acting!

Like you said before...

We could just do "snatch and run". Screw this!

Or we go back to the moving business.

Move! Move! Move!

We'll end up moving to jail!

I still can't believe it.

Next stop...

What? Why me again?

Big Bro'.

Guess who I am? You have 3 chances.

I think you've got the wrong person.

Wrong. 2 chances left.

Mister, take your hands off me please.

Alright, but don't open your eyes!

Stick it up your lungs!

Robbery in broad daylight.

Heroic police officers injured...

Young police officers lack experience.

No experience at all.

I say...

You can't be "civil and enlightened"

dealing with bad guys.

Carry a stash of ashes with you.

When you catch him...

Throw them right in his face.

He can't escape.

Bao, where should we set it up?

Facing the stage.

Do we have high voltage electricity?

Who says we need electricity?

Use your brains!

The thief who can outsmart me has yet to be born.

I asked you for a floor plan,

Not a work of art!

Bao.

Hang it up.

Bao, it's ready.

Hey! Can we have some order here?

Okay.

Stand in line!

This thing may work for a toilet,

But as a security device, it's somewhat lacking.

What if someone really comes to steal it?

Can you open it or not?

It's professional.

It sure looks professional.

Hey, want to come out and play?

I don't have time, I'm working.

All you do is work.

You completely ignore me.

I'm in the middle of something.

Liar!

You promised to take me to Hong Kong for shopping.

I already got my visa.

You women just don't get it...

My career is poised to take off.

I can't just walk away from my work!

Liar!

Here. Stop all the fuss.

Such a nice briefcase.

A pity! What a pity!

Bro', look.

Bro', look.

Awesome! 007!

Or even 008!

Hey - same line of work as us!

He came here for this.

It's so clear!

We're back in business.

Open it.

8 million, like winning two lotteries - after tax.

Here it's only worth 4,800 yuan.

I'll give you 8,400 for it.

You are totally obsessed!

Look at you. You're blind!

You almost screwed up big time.

What's the matter?

It's okay. Nothing.

The light...

There's something wrong with this light.

San Bao, get us that room over there.

Now that's what I call surveillance.

Zhao, take them to the room.

Told you, no toilets.

Look at that fancy shirt,

trying to be sexy, right?

A rookie should keep a low profile, ya know?

Low profile.

It's Baleno.

A famous brand. See how it stretches.

You can't tear it.

You want these skates?

Command your army from a height, and all is within your grasp.

This is called...

What?

Know thine enemy, know thyself, and ne'er a battle lost.

I thought it's "every battle won."

Same difference.

Wireless transmission, guarantees a clear view.

Starting tomorrow, throughout the exhibition period...

We'll keep a 24-hour watch.

Keep your eyes open even when you're sleeping.

Ours is not a difficult trade.

But to move up, you've gotta be intelligent.

Exactly 10 meters. Quality guaranteed.

Want a receipt?

Three tickets.

Okay, you stand here.

You, here.

Wait! Let's take some pictures first.

Wait a moment.

Don't move. Cheese.

Only one camera.

Bro', which one is infrared?

You've seen too many movies!

Can't have so much hi-tech stuff.

Why don't we just do as I said?

Give him a hammer...

Whack it,

take the money and run.

No one can react that fast, right?

Put it down! Put it down!

Behave yourself respectably!

My name is Xie Xiaomeng.

You can call me Charles.

The nude portraiture text I wrote

for the HK Royal Art Academy.

I'm also studying some

very serious subjects.

At the moment I'm researching...

The city as mother and womb.

In fact, when I saw you...

A long-lost sensation came rushing back.

A strong creative impulse.

So, how about...

You give me your phone numbers?

What? You?

I see no need for that.

You don't know me.

Hang up the floor plan.

Aha! Right here.

Masculine, yet impotent.

First we penetrate the periphery.

Here... here... here... here.

They're all guarded.

This entrance facing the street...

is always busy with people.

He's easily exposed.

What's happened to respectable behavior?

Hammering in the middle of the night!

I'll check it out.

Let it go.

A little impatience spoils great plans.

Listen to me.

This security, this...

Where was I?

Easily exposed.

Right, easily exposed.

The back wall.

This here is the weakest point.

High voltage? Easy.

You're sure there're no security guards?

I'll check it out.

There's no one there anyway.

Just go ahead and make your move!

Stop wasting time.

What are you looking at?

You Peeping Tom!

To kill without spilling blood.

When I was creating this work...

I felt intermittently that beauty,

like a dagger...

Pierced my soul in swift flashes.

You got some nerve!

My boyfriend will kill you.

He doesn't have to kill me.

While I created it...

I expired in your embrace...

Besides, your boyfriend

is no obstacle.

If love be everlasting, why worry about transience?

What an awful picture!

Bro', do I look like Batman?

What Batman?

You just look like a bat!

It's too tight!

Bro', these clothes don't fit you.

Stop this high-tech shit! Get lost!

Look! Do I look like the guy in Counter-Strike?

Do you know...

Why they haven't torn this old place down?

For centuries this place was a mass grave.

When night falls, there are all these strange noises.

Like a big army approaching; it's so eerie.

And people've even hanged themselves on this beam.

Are you scared?

Who's scared?

Then why'd you pinch me?

Get out of here!

Listen!

Really! Hear it?

Don't be stupid. It's a police siren.

Fire engines!

Fire engines.

Where's the fire? Let's check it out.

Why? What's so interesting?

Hey, punks, go away! Get out of here!

Who's in charge of this temple?

Me.

Who reported a fire? Where's the fire?

Where's the fire? I'm asking you!

Here. Where they make kebabs.

I'm warning you, false fire reports are illegal.

We'll investigate this incident.

Investigate! Investigate your ass!

You won't find anything.

It's only kebabs.

Fire engines showing up, that's too much.

We've arrived at 21 Dong Shan Road.

There's no sign of fire. We request to return to base.

We request to return to base.

Let's go! Get inside!

Damn! Close the main door!

Block the back courtyard!

Split up and chase them!

These shoes shouldn't give you smelly feet.

Bullshit!

Be careful going down. And take this coat.

Be careful... Sonofabitch!

Easy... easy.

Fire service? The Lohan Temple's on fire!

Fire engines!

Fire engines.

Where's the fire? Let's go.

Wait!

What're you doing?

Why are you here? What're you looking at?

What's wrong with you? The fire engines are coming.

Lord Guan...

Please answer my prayers. If I succeed...

I'll worship and feed you every day.

Son of a bitch!

Split up and run!

Split up and chase 'em!

Don't let 'em get away! Search carefully!

- San Bao, this way! - That way!

There! Over there!

Don't panic! It's me! Me!

Flashlight! Flashlight!

They won't get very far. That way! Go!

Damn it!

Are you stupid? Over here! This way!

Bao, the switchboard was pried open, that's all.

Weld it shut!

Where are we? Where...

Are you stupid? You want to stay there?

Don't push me!

Isn't this the temple door?

We crawled forever and only got this far.

Wait!

Excuse me, sir.

Sir, can I borrow your ointment?

What'd you say?

Can I use a little?

That looks pretty serious!

Fought with my wife.

How about you?

Hit myself on the doorframe.

Here. Let me do it for you.

Damn it!

This bathhouse is unbelievably cheap.

Why else would they install voice-activated lights?

Thanks.

If you can't sit down

you could at least clean up after you're done!

I'm used to this way. Squatting's more healthy.

You mind closing the door?

Xiao Jun, we've got to hurry up and get this done.

That "professional" has already made his first move.

What?

It's definitely in the line of fire.

Awesome!

I told you they're hi-tech! You believe me now?

Told you I could run pretty fast.

Xiao Jun, you ran pretty fast too,

like a desperate dog!

I don't know about you...

But I was a sprinter in middle school;

100 meters in 12.5 seconds.

Come to think of it,

why am I wasting time with this stuff?

I could just take a hammer, whack it,

Take the damn thing and run. Screw the alarm.

No one could catch me anyway, right?

You're so full of shit.

Who's in charge here? You or me?

My sword unsheathed, victories abound.

This one's 50, this 120.

Quality fakes are 200.

It goes through to the other side.

No! Every fart leaves a whiff of something.

But there's nothing besides our footprints.

Maybe he knows kung fu

and can walk on water.

You read too much garbage.

Stop talking nonsense!

Criminal psychology tells us, because of...

The "high voltage" sign,

they didn't climb over it.

Forensic science shows us the cover has been tampered with.

This is evidence. With evidence comes logic.

And this. It reveals their identity.

How?

Dumb ass! What kind of people carry such things?

They moonlight as movers by day, and strike at night.

The punks at the door last night were lookouts.

How dare they!

How dare they move in on us!

Block the cover with something.

No problem, Bao.

What's the matter?

Turn it off.

Sound wave alarm. Highly sensitive technology.

Nice work, Bao.

The great Engineer Bao!

You make lots of money each time you take a picture, right?

What money?

Barely enough for a meal.

I wouldn't be here if it was just for money.

My dad's director of the factory, you know

He dragged me here to take some pictures.

I studied portraiture in Hong Kong.

Now I'm reduced to working as a small-time reporter.

I've been forced to prostitute my art!

Nike. They make cameras too?

Bao, no.

Can you open the lid? There's a reflection!

No. That's your dad's order.

No one opens it.

- C'mon, Bao. - What's the big deal?

My dad's an old bureaucrat,

but we're young.

We can't do things his way.

Besides, you're right here.

Who would dare steal it?

Don't mind him. Open it.

Even if I guard it myself...

The thieves just don't give up.

Go easy on the publicity and I'll have an easier time.

Hurry up! Don't let your old man see.

Bao, hold the reflector for me.

Which way?

Towards the light

- Open it. - Okay.

Aim it at the light.

That's right.

Sorry! Sorry!

One more.

Let's buy something. We can't go there empty-handed.

Damn! Only 5,000 yuan!

I'm not going anywhere. That way.

If we all stick together, we'll weather the storm.

I'll get straight to the point.

I invited you guys here to discuss something.

It's about the temple... I'd appreciate your help.

I've prepared some small presents as a token of respect.

But I won't be nice to anyone who

doesn't help me out here!

Police officer, plainclothes officer, civilized law enforcement!

Sure, we'll definitely cooperate.

Today's my birthday.

I want to give you a rare, precious gift.

A splendid jade for a great beauty,

an expression of my feelings.

This jade represents my heart.

Flirt!

Bro', I really can't drink any more.

Damn it! I said drink and you drink! Now drink!

Hey, Bro'.

Killing's against the law.

Talk! Did you do it or not?

I can't remember, I was drunk.

Now I remember! No, I didn't!

No? You were in the same bed!

You think I'm an idiot?

Down!

Confess!

Yes I did! I did!

So you really did her!

God damn, you really did her!

What exactly do you see in him?

Is he better than Boss?

Is he better than me?

How could you do such a thing?

Is it fair to Boss? Is it fair to me?

Hey, don't touch me.

Me sleeping with him, yeah, it's not fair to the Boss.

But how about us? Is it fair to the Boss that I slept with you?

Keep it down! Yes, it's not fair to Boss.

But we're all his people,

that was "all in the family"

No harm done... but you and him...

After all, he's an outsider

Someone slept with my wife, and no one's lifting a finger!

No, we're not married,

but we have true feelings for each other.

Cuckoldry goes unpunished! Where's the law?

And you call yourself a lawyer?

Hello?

Okay, then.

I'm taking the law in my own hands.

Boss, please forgive me!

I just hate men who cheat women.

And you used this cheap fake...

To cheat my wife!

- But it's the real thing! - It's real!

It's real! Say it again, you son of a bitch!

It's really real! Take it!

First you insult my integrity,

then you insult my intelligence.

It's fake! Fake! Fake!

Fake, and you cheated my woman.

It's real! I didn't cheat her!

Real! Real, then you cheated me!

Real, and you cheated me!

It's fake, Boss!

So, is it real or fake?

Boss, please forgive me!

Tell me, real? Or fake?

Let me tell you, it's simply a question of morality.

Get lost!

I don't know what to say about you.

The world has changed. There're no good men left.

Hei Pi, you were so right.

Don't get so upset, Boss.

This fake looks so real.

You really can't tell the difference, can you?

Only a fake could look so real.

Let's switch them!

All we need to do is switch them, right?

Switch them.

Right.

Are you ill? Who needs so many glasses?

That one's chipped.

- You have a new one? - No!

Xiao Jun, the wheel broke!

Hey, Brother.

Hey, how ya doin'? Let me help you.

No, it's okay.

It's alright.

You eaten?

What?

Bro', have you eaten?

I just ate.

Wow! Why's it so heavy?

Nothing. Just some old junk.

Since I met with those punks, it's been pretty quiet.

Knock the mountain, scare the tiger away, right?

Bao, this suction therapy will really help you.

As the Ancients say, external treatment for inner illness.

First you've gotta remove your inner heat.

In this weather? "Remove inner heat?"

I don't have much inner heat left anyway.

Sooner or later you'll drive me nuts!

If you ever win the lottery...

I'll run 3 laps in my bare ass.

You believe me?

Hey, that tea's delicious!

Leave me some.

If you win 5 million, first lend me 5,000...

To get back my driver's license.

Won anything?

No way. 3 numbers off!

I asked you to leave some tea for me.

Bao, the door's locked.

- What? - The door's locked. It won't open.

What the...?!

- Let me try. - Wait... we'll have to pay!

Hold it right there! You! The one in black!

You have to pay for the damage.

Are you sick or what?

It's him. I saw him.

What did you see?

Saw you with my own eyes.

Say it again! Say you saw me!

Are you guys looking for trouble?

Did something happen?

Aah, forget it.

Go over to the next room and see if it's locked

Be careful!

Punk!

Who's a punk?

Who are you calling a punk?

Take your hands off me!

Hey you! Here! Here!

This stone doesn't belong to you.

Hey, don't lean against the case.

Anybody home?

Hurry up!

- Zhao, where's the key? - Hurry up!

Wait here for Hei Pi

A vase was broken.

Only worth about 100 yuan.

How could you let him get away in broad daylight?

That guy runs faster than a dog.

Bao.

It's okay. Go check the place.

Bao, I've got money.

Wait for my good news. San Bao.

Bao, what's going on?

Where's San Bao?

Isn't he with you in the exhibition hall?

Bao, are you helping me claim my medical bills?

Three month's worth, over 500 yuan.

Soon, soon.

He's not here.

Tell San Bao not to come back.

The factory is so busy.

San Bao must have switched the stone.

Stop smoking! You've lost your voice!

I knew something wasn't right about him.

All he thinks about is winning the lottery.

Why didn't I think of that myself?

Here I am "scaring the tiger", installing surveillance stuff...

And I just let that son of a bitch get away.

Why don't you call the police?

Call the police? San Bao will be finished.

His family'll be finished! His granny'll be finished!

Who do you think he'll sell it to?

I got to find that son of a bitch!

Even if I have to go to Beijing!

Damn you! It's only 5,000 yuan!

I won't run away! You don't have to do this.

Aren't you tired? At this rate you'll drop dead in that car!

Who's that?

You guys come with me.

Turn it off.

Son of a bitch!

Last time we saw him was yesterday.

Two nights ago.

We were watching that soccer game, remember?

Round about midnight...

AC Milan vs. Inter Milan, 3 to 1

AC Milan, absolutely. They haven't won in seven years.

The forward, Gilardino. Saw it with my own eyes.

Not Gilardino. Shevchenko!

- Gilardino! - Shevchenko!

AC Milan. Don't worry.

Shevchenko

Stick it up your lungs, goddamn crooked salesman!

Oh, so it's you! Long time no see!

Give it back!

This stone doesn't belong to you.

Give it back!

Spiderman!

Hey, give it back!

A real professional!

You want this? No? Then I'll put it back

Go!

Bye!

Search the place!

Think this is a public toilet?!

You can't just come and go as you please!

You can't even piss, you stupid piece of shit!

Stick it up your lungs!

What's going on?

Hei Pi's out of range. Where'd he go?

Wherever he felt like, I suppose.

Hey, what's that sound?

Are you nuts? Do you also have prostate problems?

Nonsense!

Some professional! Won't even answer calls!

Said he'd deliver it today. He's really unreliable!

Be patient, alright?

Wow! Great! "East meets West"!

Good thing you're not a designer.

You'd run all the others out of business.

Hello.

Is this Mr. Qin Fengshou,

assistant to the Chairman of the Big Fat Group?

Who are you?

That's not important

I have what you want.

Are you interested?

This guy said he has what we're after.

An old man.

Next time figure things out first before coming to me.

Fuck!

What's going on?

12 minutes 26 seconds.

12 minutes 45 seconds.

Stop!

Okay

What are you looking at?

Peking duck, want to try some?

Where'd you go? Where? Where'd you go?

Stop it!

You goddamn ruined me!

Bao.

Maybe they wanted to talk down the price by saying it's fake.

Boss, I've been with you for a long time.

You should know me well by now.

Have I ever stolen anything?

Have I ever stolen anything of yours?

Talk: Where did you get the stone?

I don't know.

Ouch! The exhibition hall.

How?

I bought a fake,

and then I went to take pictures.

And I switched them.

They let you take pictures, just like that?

The... the factory manager... he's my dad.

In other words, you gave the real stone to Jing Jing.

And we swapped the real one for the fake.

Right.

Son of a bitch spends real money on chicks.

So, why did you say it's a fake?

I told you it was real, but you hit me.

Sure I hit you...

Fucked my woman! Switched my stone!

Boss! No use beating him up.

Let's just get the real stone back.

Get it back. Yes, we'll get it back.

Call your daddy.

Tell him to bring us the jade within ten hours.

Or you're a dead man.

This is new for us! Kidnapping?

We're not professionals.

Professional! I'll show you what's professional.

I'll show you! I'll show you!

Now that you're back, give it back.

Cost me 1,000 yuan to go there.

The jade! The jade! I want the jade!

What jade? Did you lose it?

The jade's gone missing?

Give it back! Give it back to me!

Bao, stop it! Come, look.

Look! It's Xie Xiaomeng!

This is actually the real stone.

That 'expert' hasn't still made his move.

Expert! Expert! Expert! Expert! Expert!

Where the hell is that expert you hired?

We've lost contact.

You can't even handle a piece of stone!

I'm telling you...

I've put money into this thing for two months now,

And I haven't even seen a damn brick.

If I don't get my money back,

You'll be the first to go.

- I'll go find it. - Find my ass!

Fighting's not allowed!

Now you tell him!

I'm also looking for him. Tell me when you find him,

So I can hack him to pieces.

Why are you looking for him?

To kill him.

I just got a call from Interpol,

Mark the Master Thief has entered the city.

They don't know what he's up to.

Let's call a meeting.

Sit up.

Bao, who did this to you?

Mind your own business. Can you help me find him?

That missing guy Xie Xiaomeng, who is he?

Son of the factory director.

His family hasn't reported it.

What's your angle here?

Will you stop asking me all these questions!

Just tell me if you can help me find him.

You think Hei Pi's okay?

He won't snitch on us?

He wouldn't dare!

C'mon prince, give your daddy a call.

Hello.

Dad! Dad! Help me! Help!

I've been kidnapped!

- Dad... - Say something!

- He hung up. - Call again!

Cry... cry and call him! Cry!

Are you Xie Xiaomeng's father?

Listen, I have Xie Xiaomeng with me here.

You bring the jade in exchange for him,

or I'll...

Kill him, right? I know. Thank you very much.

I don't want to see him anymore.

Hello... hello...

Maybe I didn't make myself clear?

- Director Xie? - Who's this?

This is the police station.

Someone's reported that your son's missing.

Listen.

You can stop all this play-acting.

I know every trick in the book.

Look, the contract doesn't take effect for 10 more days.

Xie, I know...

I know how much that piece of stone is worth.

Okay, look, I'll buy that too.

What you really want is my land.

If I pay off my debt to you,

then I don't have to sell it.

You think that makes any difference?

You'll still be left with just an empty shell.

Who says it's an empty shell?

There are 200 workers in our factory.

That's 200 mouths waiting to be fed!

If you don't feed them,

they'll turn around and devour you!

These days you can't even trust your own son.

Wolves eat meat, dogs eat shit.

Survival of the fittest.

Work with me...

And from this floor up, it's all yours.

Looks like you'll gobble up my factory no matter what.

I'm not talking takeover. I'm talking collaboration.

What kind of a father is he?

Abandoning his son!

Not even fit to be called human.

No, wait... He thinks I'm chicken.

He looks down on me!

No, let me try again.

Let me.

Hello

Xie Xiaomeng!

Where are you?

Bao.

Bao, help me!

Listen to me very carefully...

I have Xie Xiaomeng.

Bring the jade in exchange for him.

You call the cops...

You bear the consequences!

The jade!

Tonight at 1 o'clock, under the lamppost outside Lohan temple.

Bring the goods.

Someone will meet you.

I'm warning you: come alone.

Son of a bitch drank Coke!

I told you to flush the toilet!

Come back here!

Oh God, oh Buddha, have mercy on me.

Amen.

Hello... hello... Bro'!

I got stuck down in the manhole. I can't get out.

My mobile can't get a signal, I can't reach you.

The battery is dying, I...

I haven't eaten for several days.

Find a way to save me.

Find a way yourself!

What?

Me? What way? Bro'?

Hello... hello... hello...

You friggin' son of a bitch!

What? Never seen people making out?

Sorry.

What? Never seen people making out?

What are you afraid of?

Don't you think we're going too fast?

Too fast.

I've been waiting for so long.

Someone might see us.

What? Who?

There's someone outside.

What do you want?

Teach him a lesson!

Mister, mister...

That... I didn't do it on purpose.

You saw!

You gotta vouch for me.

Hello.

I didn't do it on purpose.

Sir, please don't go! Sir!

Don't go!

I did it, so what?

You beat me, you nearly killed me!

Xie Xiaomeng, was it you who took the jade?

Damn the friggin' jade!

Bao.

I'll kill you... I'll kill you...

I found it in this place.

You like the suitcase, huh?

Xie Xiaomeng, did you switch the jades?

Yes I did. So what? So bloody what?

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

Stop it!

Bao, what do we do now?

Take him to the police!

Okay, go.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you

This is called... returning what?

Returning the jade intact to its rightful owner.

Wow! We were so lucky!

We got back our jade, and the factory will be saved.

Bao, I want to keep this.

- What? - This...

Why? As a souvenir. Let's go.

That guy was on his bike,

About 250 meters away from me.

I turned around,

leaped and kicked him off his bike.

He fell to the ground, then crawled up and ran off.

Bad luck for him, though: he got run over.

Bao, your kung fu kicks are really lethal.

Hey, what're you doing?

When will you pay me for the headlight?

I see you're this factory's...

Head of Security

No wonder you've got such a hot temper!

I'll be your boss from now on.

Don't worry. I'll take good care of you.

Hold on a minute!

What do you mean by that?

Xie! Xie! Xie Qianli!

What's the matter?

Did you sell the factory?

I'll talk to you later.

I'll notify you all.

Now Mr. Feng Hai, President of the Big Fat Group,

will say a few words.

Thank you.

Hello everyone, and welcome to our friends from the media...

I'd like to make two announcements.

First: our company has acquired the precious jade,

The Soul of China, for 8.5 million yuan.

And second: we're entering into a joint venture

with Sunrise Handicrafts...

To develop this valuable piece of real estate.

Soon a block of luxury service flats

will spring up from this spot!

Turn it off! Turn it off!

Bao! What do you think you're doing?

Bao, what are you doing?

Xie Qianli, damn you, you old bastard!

What did you tell me? What did you say?

You said you were selling the stone to save the factory.

Everyone was hoping to get their job back.

But instead, you sold us all down the river!

What happened to your conscience?

I know. The old man will give in sooner or later

He can't slip out of our grasp.

Our grasp?

Thanks to you, a 2 million yuan deal is now costing us 10 million.

Why are you still here? Get out of my sight!

Yes?

There's been a minor mishap,

but everything's under control.

A "minor mishap"?

And you call yourself an expert?

My motto is "sincerity and trust".

Tell your boss: I will get the job done.

I'm out of this now.

You go talk to Feng yourself.

Hello!

You've ruined my investment plans.

How dare you come to me for money?

All these years I've toiled in obscurity

I've suffered and sweated for you, Chairman Feng.

Please give me another chance.

Give you another chance!

I think I've spoiled you by treating you too well

I know everything about you.

Enough to send you to jail forever.

I know you down to the mole on your ass.

You just sit tight here and wait for the police.

A consummate marksman!

Hey!

Yes?

Don't move!

Stand up slowly, turn around slowly.

Hello.

Stick it up your lung! Shit!

Mr. Qin is no longer with us.

I'm here to see Chairman Feng.

He has my driver's license.

Do you have an appointment?

I'm just here to give him his headlight and get back my license!

I'm sorry, you can't go in without an appointment.

C'mon, I give back your headlight, you give me my license!

You must have the wrong guy.

Stop pretending! I recognized you right away.

The earring's a dead giveaway.

You waited for me every day outside the exhibition hall, right?

Bao Shihong Captures Master Thief

It's a fake.

My dear, slow and easy...