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BRINK OF LIFE
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Text: www.broadcasttext.com
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CASUALTY
ADMISSION AND ISOLATION WARD
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You may come in now.
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I'm Schoolmaster Ellius.
I spoke to Dr Karlsson on the phone.
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He told me to phone for an ambulance
and come here.
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00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:05,500
- Was it your wife who was bleeding?
- Yes.
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00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,900
- Nurse Mari.
- Mrs Ellius.
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00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,700
- How are you feeling?
- I'm in pain.
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- Does it feel like contractions?
- It hurts, then it stops...
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...then it hurts again and bleeds.
- The doctor will see you soon.
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00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,100
- You may sit down and wait.
- Thank you.
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00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,900
Be a brave girl, now,
and everything will be fine.
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I'll stay for now,
so I'm here if you need me.
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00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:38,700
Just remember, Cissi. Ellius
expects his wife to do her duty.
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00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,600
Do you really want this baby, Anders?
I need to know.
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00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,900
Finally, I need to know. I didn't
want to before, but now I need to.
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There is nothing you and I can do.
The doctors will do all they can.
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If it's humanly possible
to save the baby, it will be saved.
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Just hand yourself over
to the doctors.
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A large parcel
with a small one inside.
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00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,500
Stay calm, Cissi. Stay calm,
and everything will be fine.
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00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,400
I just need to know
your date of birth.
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00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,800
March 201930.
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Your full name and maiden name.
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Kristina Cecilia Ellius,
maiden name Lindgren.
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- Address and telephone number?
- 23 Cederdalsgatan.
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201879.
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00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:05,400
- And what is your occupation?
- I work at the Agency for Education.
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00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,300
You may write "Secretary".
31
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:13,300
When was the first day
of your last period?
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00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,700
I can't remember, Nurse. When
the doctor said we had to hurry...
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00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:22,300
The doctor will see you as soon as
he can. We have to admit you first.
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June 27.
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00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:42,000
- So you are two months pregnant?
- Yes.
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00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:51,400
The doctor is on his way.
Call for me if you need me.
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00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:31,300
Nurse! Nurse...
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00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,300
Nurse!
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It's leaving me!
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00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:54,100
- How is it, doctor?
- We will give you an injection now.
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I mean... how is the baby?
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I want to know exactly.
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00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:10,300
But I already know.
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It has left me.
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00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,800
Yes. Unfortunately.
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00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,900
But it would have gone wrong
even if you had come in earlier.
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00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,500
Something failed from the start.
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00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,500
I see.
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00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,000
Could you see
what it would have been?
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00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:39,100
No, you can't tell.
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00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,900
Now you'll sleep, Mrs Ellius,
while we perform a curettage.
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To clean everything up
for the next time.
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00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,400
I don't think there will be a next...
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00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,500
The poor thing is in pain.
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00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,900
I wonder if she knows yet.
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00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,700
Don't feel sorry for her.
She has it made.
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00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,100
Oh, dear...
What are we going to do with her?
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00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,300
Let's move down a little.
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00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,900
She's still
affected by the anaesthetics.
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00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,500
Good morning, Mrs Ellius.
I am Nurse Brita.
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00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:51,200
We've performed the curettage.
You might feel nauseous for a while.
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00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,400
It was wrong from the start.
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00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,300
There should never have been a baby.
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00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,000
Don't say anything - I already know.
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00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,700
Don't try to comfort me,
I don't need it right now.
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00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:10,000
But I have to say it. I have to
say it now that I see it clearly.
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00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,600
I have never seen anything
so clearly in my life.
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00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,200
This baby was not wanted.
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00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,800
Its father did not want it.
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00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:23,600
Its mother was not strong enough
to love it on her own.
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00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:29,900
Therefore it could not be born,
merely flushed away in the drain.
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00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:34,900
Or put in a jar
for scientific purposes.
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00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:40,200
I have heard how it's done.
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00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,800
You have flushed away
what would have been my child.
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I deserved it,
for I wasn't strong enough.
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00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,400
I didn't love it enough.
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00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,800
You can't leave, Nurse.
You must listen to me.
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00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:59,500
I never usually speak,
but now I have to speak.
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00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:06,200
I don't feel any nausea,
only a tremendous clarity.
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00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:12,100
I have always known it.
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00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:15,700
Known that I wouldn't be good enough.
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00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,500
Neither as a wife nor a mother.
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00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,700
Some people are predestined
never to be good enough.
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00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,100
Don't you think so, Nurse?
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00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:31,900
And they know it from the start.
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00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,700
I didn't see it as clearly then
as I do now.
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00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,400
Now it feels
as if I have always known.
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00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:48,100
When I found out I was pregnant
I could not be happy.
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00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:55,000
Deep inside something said:
"This baby will never be born."
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00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,100
I knew Anders didn't love me.
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00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:04,500
He never told me, of course.
He would never say such a thing.
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00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,400
But I saw it in his eyes.
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00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:12,800
I saw it in his eyes when I told him
we were having a baby.
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00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,300
It was nothing.
It can't be anything.
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00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:27,400
This is over now.
And the grief won't kill me either.
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00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:34,100
I will eat, laugh and sleep again.
I have slept and laughed already.
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00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,300
Everyone will be so nice to me now.
Flowers and books.
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00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,000
I am just that type, you see.
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00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,700
I have my friends and my work,
and all the beautiful things.
100
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,500
I make such beautiful embroideries.
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00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:56,000
All of that will come back to me
once I get out of here.
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00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:59,500
In here everything is different.
I can feel it.
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00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:04,300
You act differently in here.
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00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:09,600
Even I. The poor
little scared Cecilia Ellius.
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00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:13,600
Maybe not only wombs
are forced open here-
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00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:17,800
- but the entire person.
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00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,800
I will never forget this moment.
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00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:27,500
This close, you see... I will never
be this close to life again.
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00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:33,500
At least it has gone through
my hands, through my womb.
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00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,900
But like water.
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00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,000
Like water.
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00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:43,000
Not leaving any trace behind.
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00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:06,900
My mum used to do this to me.
It may not help, but it feels good.
114
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:12,800
My mother did the same.
It does feel good.
115
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:16,200
- Is that better?
- Much better.
116
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:20,600
I suppose it's the effect
of the anaesthetics.
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00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,900
I talked a lot.
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00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,200
How did I end up in this bed?
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00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:30,600
- You were like a lifeless doll.
- Lifeless doll?
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00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:35,500
- I shouldn't be so informal.
- Why not?
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00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,900
- My name is Cecilia.
- I'm Stina.
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00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,100
And that's Hj�rdis over there.
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00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,900
Your husband will visit you soon.
124
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:49,400
Visitors aren't allowed at daytime,
but Nurse Brita made an exception.
125
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:54,500
Hj�rdis and I can leave the room
if you like. We can both walk.
126
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,500
That won't be necessary.
127
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,800
If only I could cry.
128
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:09,500
You have already been crying,
but while you were sleeping.
129
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:14,600
You sat up in bed and cried your
eyes out. I felt so sorry for you.
130
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,200
A lot of things have happened
without me knowing.
131
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:22,800
But still I feel
as if I have always known it.
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00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,500
- Known what?
- That the baby wouldn't make it.
133
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,500
It may not be that unusual
when it's your first.
134
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:37,500
My mum had it like that the
first time, but then it was all fine.
135
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,900
She practically danced them out.
She had seven in nine years.
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00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,200
I won't have another one.
137
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,300
- How are you feeling, Mrs Ellius?
- Much better, thanks.
138
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,700
Schoolmaster Ellius
will be here any moment.
139
00:16:56,900 --> 00:17:02,400
- How long will I have to stay here?
- Three, four days, I suppose.
140
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,300
Nurse Brita?
The nappies are done now.
141
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:10,800
We should postpone your delivery
so that you can do all our linen.
142
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:14,200
But it's against the rules.
The patients cannot work.
143
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:20,200
I must keep busy. This boy who won't
come out is getting on my nerves.
144
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:24,100
- Let's call it therapy, then.
- That sounds grand.
145
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,700
It's to make sure you don't
start climbing the curtains.
146
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,600
- They would never hold my weight.
- That's what I was afraid of.
147
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,300
- What can we get for Mrs Ellius?
- Nothing, thank you.
148
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,800
- Oh yes, some tea or soup.
- Thank you.
149
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,200
- He's here.
- Your husband is already here.
150
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,900
Please put the screen up, Nurse Maud.
151
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,800
- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
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00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,100
Thank you.
153
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,900
- How kind of you.
- Not kind, Cissi.
154
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:16,900
- Is it not kind?
- You talk as if to a stranger.
155
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,900
Is that not what you are?
You've always been kind to me.
156
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,500
Like a stranger.
Someone at a distance.
157
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,600
Don't argue.
Let me say what I want.
158
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,900
I can only say it here,
in this moment.
159
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,700
Thank you, Nurse.
160
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,900
- Won't you have some tea?
- I'll try.
161
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:43,700
I won't argue with you.
Say what you have to say.
162
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,300
- But don't strain yourself.
- I wanted to say...
163
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,300
...that I know you don't love me.
- Shouldn't this wait...
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00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,900
- You weren't happy about the baby.
- You are tired and upset.
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00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:02,000
- Let's be sensible now.
- I've always done the sensible thing.
166
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,900
- lf we had screamed just once...
- Cecilia, I beg you...
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00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:15,000
You may have believed
that you loved me once.
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00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:21,600
Then we got married, and you were too
kind to admit that it was a mistake.
169
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,000
When did you realise that it was
a mistake, if I may ask?
170
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,600
Yesterday.
171
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,700
I walked up the stairs,
and blood was pouring out of me.
172
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:36,500
I was afraid.
I turned around to look at you.
173
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:40,600
- I saw the truth in your eyes.
- Well...
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00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,300
What did the truth tell you?
175
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:47,800
It said: "I don't love you.
Our marriage was a mistake."
176
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:53,700
- "This baby should not be born."
- I have never suggested that.
177
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:58,500
- You can't deny it.
- Yes I can. I thoroughly deny it.
178
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,200
I...
179
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:06,100
I might not have been as happy
as an expectant father should be.
180
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:11,300
I worried about you.
But also about myself.
181
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,000
I worried about us, Cissi.
182
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:21,100
We were supposed to wait
until I had finished my thesis.
183
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,700
The death of our child
is not my fault.
184
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,100
Dearest Cissi...
185
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:35,300
Don't we have enough of a struggle
without assuming that guilt too?
186
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,100
Were you as happy
as you should have been?
187
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,800
Were you not crying in the evenings?
188
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,700
It was hard to know
if I should be happy.
189
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:50,700
I was happy. Secretly I was happy.
190
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,300
At times I was full of joy.
191
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,900
I thought: "I'm having a baby."
But I never dared to show it.
192
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,300
Were you afraid
that I wouldn't agree?
193
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:06,200
Or did you not dare to show your joy
for fear that it might all go wrong?
194
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,300
I'm sorry.
195
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,500
I'm so clumsy.
196
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,300
You don't love me. That's all.
197
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:27,900
I'm a disappointment and a pain.
Not what you had hoped for.
198
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,500
I couldn't even bear you a child.
199
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:37,200
Can't you see what a terrible
confirmation of my uselessness it is?
200
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,700
I must set you free.
I want you to be happy.
201
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:45,900
You want me to be happy,
but what about yourself?
202
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:50,200
I will be happy
if I know that you are happy.
203
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:54,900
I want to go away, Anders.
204
00:21:55,100 --> 00:22:00,400
It's what I've always wanted.
I am not a strong person.
205
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,700
I'm not suited to life.
206
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,100
At least I'm not suited to marriage.
207
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:15,500
Do you mean to tell me that you wish
for our marriage to be dissolved?
208
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:22,700
I want to set you free, Anders.
209
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,900
I think I've known it
for a long time.
210
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,300
But I can see it more clearly
after what happened last night.
211
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,400
And it's easier to do this.
212
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:39,200
But all we've built together...
Everything at home.
213
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,700
- Our furniture and books...
- Leave the worldly goods be.
214
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,100
Leave them for later.
215
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,600
And later? What happens later?
216
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:51,500
You have to give me time.
217
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,200
- Should I not come here again?
- It's better that way.
218
00:22:55,300 --> 00:23:00,500
- Maybe I should take these back too.
- Let me keep them. Please.
219
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:04,600
- Cissi...
- Go now, Anders. Go.
220
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,600
I will take the liberty to call the
nurse and enquire about your health.
221
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:18,300
- That's very kind of you.
- You know very well that I don't...
222
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,800
- Should I leave your tea here?
- No, thank you.
223
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,800
I'm Dr Thylenius.
I'd like to ask some questions.
224
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:07,300
Have you been healthy before,
or have you ever been hospitalised?
225
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,900
I have never been to hospital before.
226
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,900
But as a young girl
I had a heart problem.
227
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,100
Then we'd better listen to it.
228
00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:18,200
That's good, thank you.
229
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:25,100
No, nothing.
230
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,800
When did you have your first period?
231
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,500
Not until I was sixteen.
232
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,600
- Do you have any other children?
- No.
233
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:42,100
- Have you had a miscarriage before?
- No.
234
00:24:42,300 --> 00:24:46,000
Have you ever had a venereal disease?
Gonorrhoea or syphilis?
235
00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:50,100
No, I never had anything like that.
236
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,500
Have you done anything
to instigate this abortion?
237
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,800
I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
238
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,300
I asked if you have done anything
to instigate this abortion.
239
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,900
No, I have not done anything.
240
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,100
I wanted the baby.
241
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,600
That would be all. Thank you.
242
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,900
- Andersson's sport store.
- May I speak to Tage?
243
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,500
- Tage who?
- Tage Lindin.
244
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,900
- Hello?
- Hello, Tage, it's Hj�rdis.
245
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:17,100
- Hi, how are you?
- Not great, Tage.
246
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:21,300
It'll be better once you get out.Just wait and see.
247
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,500
Why don't you
come and see me tonight?
248
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,500
I'm allowed visitors in the evenings.
249
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:34,300
- I need to talk to you.
- You're crazy. In a place like that?
250
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:39,700
Lot's of people come here.
Husbands, fianc�s and others.
251
00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:42,700
I'm not a goddamn fianc�.
252
00:27:42,900 --> 00:27:47,700
- But your the child's father.
- I'll fix it when you get out.
253
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:54,000
- Not like last time. I won't do it.
- Not like last time. I promise.
254
00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:58,600
What should I do?
What should I tell them here?
255
00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:04,400
They keep asking questions. About
what I have done and what I will do.
256
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,700
Their questions drive me crazy.
257
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:10,700
Just stay silent.Stay silent as the grave.
258
00:28:10,900 --> 00:28:14,700
They're not puttingthe screws on you, are they?
259
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:19,700
Cheer up now.I can't stand here all day talking.
260
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,300
Bye.
261
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,100
Aren't they wonderful?
262
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,600
We should talk some more.
I have a minute.
263
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,900
- We have nothing more to talk about.
- Come on.
264
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,800
Things are going well now,
Nurse Brita said.
265
00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:16,800
The bleedings have stopped,
and there are no worrying signs.
266
00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:18,700
Please sit.
267
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,200
But...
268
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:31,700
Maybe you're not happy about it.
Maybe you would have preferred...
269
00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:38,700
Well... You don't think marrying
the father of the baby is an option-
270
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,600
- and you don't want to go
to your parents' house.
271
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,000
Your parents
still don't know anything.
272
00:29:48,300 --> 00:29:52,700
I would like to remind you once more
of what I said before.
273
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,300
The situation for an unmarried mother
in Sweden today-
274
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,800
- is completely different
from what it was 30-40 years ago.
275
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:05,900
The state is there
to help and protect the mother-
276
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,600
- as she fights for her child.
277
00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:13,200
There's maternity allowance
and child benefit-
278
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:17,900
- there's free maternity care
and social security.
279
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,900
The rights of the child
are protected by law-
280
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,900
- and a child ombudsman
will support you.
281
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:31,000
He will make sure you receive
maintenance from the father.
282
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,600
There are care homes where you are
welcome before and after the birth.
283
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:43,200
It would of course be better
if you contacted your parents.
284
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:47,700
You are... You are afraid
of your mother, aren't you?
285
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,900
- I could call...
- I'm not afraid of my mother.
286
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:56,300
Don't worry. We won't do anything
that you don't agree to.
287
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,600
Please understand that the views
on this have changed enormously.
288
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,700
It is neither shameful nor
unfortunate for a girl to give birth.
289
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:08,500
You can call yourself Mrs
and get yourself a house.
290
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,500
Where would I get the money?
The bank?
291
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:16,000
You'll get a home loan
and priority on the housing list.
292
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,500
- How will I pay the rent?
- You would have to work, of course.
293
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,500
- Then who would look after...
- There are excellent nurseries...
294
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,100
...with low fees
for low-income earners.
295
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:31,400
- And at night? When you get sick?
- Well...
296
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,200
Some things you have to do yourself.
297
00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:39,900
The joy of having a child,
something to live for...
298
00:31:40,100 --> 00:31:43,900
Tell me...
Won't you try to see it that way?
299
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,300
As a gift.
300
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,600
Something precious.
301
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:54,700
Something not everyone gets,
no matter how much they want it.
302
00:31:55,900 --> 00:32:00,200
There are women who can
never have children, because...
303
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,400
You are trying
to scare me into crying.
304
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,100
No, my dear.
I don't want to scare you.
305
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,600
I am not your dear.
306
00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:12,800
And you do want me to cry,
because then I am soft.
307
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:18,700
Once I'm soft you will question me
and force me to talk.
308
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,300
- We won't force you.
- You'll force me to give birth.
309
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,900
Money this and money that.
Homes here and homes there.
310
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,600
"Aren't they wonderful?"
311
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:35,500
I find them disgusting.
Disgusting and repulsive.
312
00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:40,600
What do you know about such things?
You've just read books at a desk.
313
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:46,900
You've never left the rubber at home
or seen tattooed arms digging in you.
314
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,500
Whoops! That was a close call.
315
00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:04,400
Do you think that children
are adorable too, Nurse Britta?
316
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:10,800
- Was that the argument?
- Do you think so?
317
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:16,500
I see them every day,
year after year.
318
00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:19,100
I guess I'm biased.
319
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,200
They're not exactly adorable.
But there is something about them.
320
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,200
They have everything
from the start.
321
00:33:27,300 --> 00:33:30,100
Lungs breathing, hearts beating-
322
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,600
- arms flailing and hands gripping.
323
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:38,200
- I think they are little miracles.
- I think they are disgusting.
324
00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:40,500
Really? Nothing else?
325
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:45,500
I feel sorry for them too,
for having been born.
326
00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:49,400
What's the use of kicking,
screaming and flailing your toes?
327
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:53,800
It's all crap anyway.
It's all crap.
328
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,000
- It's not all crap.
- I think it is.
329
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,600
I wish I had never been born.
330
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:10,300
I wish I had never been born.
331
00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:14,300
Not just now,
it was the same when I was little.
332
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:18,200
And that's why you are afraid
to give birth on your own.
333
00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:21,300
Should I really have to
when I feel that way?
334
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,800
Sometimes you have to do things
without asking.
335
00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:28,500
I can't. I can't.
336
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:33,200
Why is she torturing me with her
"Aren't they wonderful?"
337
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:38,600
She longs for a child herself,
but she can't have one.
338
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,800
She's had several miscarriages.
339
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,000
After the last one the doctor
told her to give up hope.
340
00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:48,000
That doesn't mean
she has to give me an earful.
341
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:53,700
Let's see if there's any coffee left.
I haven't had any myself.
342
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,400
You've been gone a long time.
343
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:23,200
They said
they would get you started now.
344
00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:27,000
No? Who said that?
345
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:31,500
- I bet it was only Thylenius.
- The other one too. The woman.
346
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,800
Did you hear that? Did you hear,
you little one lying in there?
347
00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:39,900
Only sleeping and eating.
348
00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:43,500
Come out, lazybones,
so that mummy can get slim again.
349
00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:48,500
Come out to your shirts,
your umbilical bandages and trousers.
350
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,900
Come out to your father who
can't sleep at night because of you.
351
00:35:57,700 --> 00:36:01,800
Come out, you little rascal.
You little scamp and mischief-maker.
352
00:36:01,900 --> 00:36:04,700
Come out and see your mother.
353
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,100
You haven't pinched anything
from the medicine cabinet, have you?
354
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,100
No, Nurse.
This is all faith, hope and love.
355
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,700
Sometimes a little push
is still needed.
356
00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:22,200
- Is that lager? That'll be my first.
- You'll need it to swallow this.
357
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:27,100
Castor oil? In that case
it will be my last lager too.
358
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,400
But in it goes.
359
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:31,600
I'm going to take swigs. Like this.
360
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:34,900
Come here.
361
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,700
One for father. One for mother.
362
00:36:39,900 --> 00:36:43,800
And one for our Father
and no one other.
363
00:36:43,900 --> 00:36:46,800
One for grandma
who's never down.
364
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:49,700
And one for grandpa...
365
00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,100
...who lives in a town.
366
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:58,900
One for me,
as happy as can be.
367
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,500
And one for the little boy-
368
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,700
- who is his mother's pride and joy.
369
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,800
Have you ever seen
such a mad mother-to-be before?
370
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:20,400
No, Mrs Andersson
is the worst I have ever seen.
371
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:25,500
I long for him so much. I'll go
insane if he doesn't come out soon.
372
00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:32,200
What's the matter, Mrs Andersson?
373
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,900
Nothing, Nurse. Nothing at all.
374
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,500
What does the Bible say again?
375
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:53,900
"A sword pierced her soul."
376
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,100
That's it.
377
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,200
I don't know where it came from.
378
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,800
But suddenly I thought...
379
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,300
...what if he doesn't come out
like he should?
380
00:38:10,700 --> 00:38:16,000
I felt a pain pass through me.
381
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,400
Why did I joke and laugh so much?
382
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:22,300
It's dangerous.
383
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:27,400
- Sing before...
- But this is not before breakfast.
384
00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:31,500
It's before supper.
385
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:32,600
Then it doesn't count.
386
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,000
Then it doesn't count.
387
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:42,600
Good heavens! Visiting hours
are only half an hour away.
388
00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:48,600
Here.
389
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,500
You should have been a hairdresser.
390
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,500
You have the right touch.
391
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,400
It's still not too late,
you're still only a child.
392
00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:25,700
Then you could take care
of your child on your own.
393
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,500
My hairdresser
provides for two little boys.
394
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,100
They are the handsomest boys
in the whole borough.
395
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,000
No...
396
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:58,000
How did you do this?
I look fit for a ball.
397
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,800
Mark my words,
you have a golden touch.
398
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,500
Good heavens!
399
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:10,300
- Should I put on some powder?
- Yes, let me see what you've got.
400
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,300
Let me!
401
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,500
- Now it's your turn.
- I don't get any visitors.
402
00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:36,700
Sit down. Come on.
403
00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:41,800
You won't look as nice as me,
but I can do a thing or two too.
404
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,800
Let's see now.
405
00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:50,900
You could do with some grooming
even if you don't have visitors.
406
00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:55,300
And anyway, you can't be certain.
407
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,500
No. No, no...
408
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:05,200
Keep your hopes up
for as long as you can.
409
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,300
Let's see now.
410
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,500
That's better. And now this side.
411
00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:16,200
Stina is not as stupid
as you might think.
412
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:20,900
And this way...
That's it, my child.
413
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:33,500
I certainly won't get visitors.
My husband was here this morning.
414
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:39,000
- It's still nice to be looked after.
- Of course it is.
415
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,100
What a wonderful mother you will be.
416
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:47,400
So will you.
417
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:53,700
Look at that - liver casserole.
No more anaemia!
418
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:01,900
Thyme. They've actually used thyme.
419
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,400
Yummy!
420
00:42:10,900 --> 00:42:14,100
Do you want your food
here at the table?
421
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,100
Yes, please.
422
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,800
The father reports his arrival.
423
00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:52,200
Have you been to the cottage
to pick some flowers?
424
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:56,900
Yes. I managed to find the time.
425
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,200
I thought you and the boy
deserved a greeting from there.
426
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:06,800
No store-bought flowers, since
he comes when ours are in bloom.
427
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,800
And he will come soon.
They've sped him up.
428
00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:15,600
I've had castor oil and lager.
Imagine me drinking lager.
429
00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:19,600
I never managed to teach you that.
Trust him to do it.
430
00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:24,400
I still haven't learnt it.
The taste of it...
431
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:29,700
This is not bad at all. Liver.
432
00:43:32,300 --> 00:43:36,700
- Do you get any food, you poor thing?
- Don't pity me.
433
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:41,200
You should have seen the bacon I
fried for supper - it was so crispy.
434
00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:46,600
Are you here to see Hj�rdis?
435
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:54,200
- And for dessert...
- Hi there, Hj�rdis.
436
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,300
Hi.
437
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,900
I didn't recognize you in that dress.
438
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,800
- Please take this chair.
- Thank you.
439
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,100
Everyone at the ward
sends their regards...
440
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,100
The flowers are from all of us.
441
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:29,900
I bought them at lunchtime
and had nowhere to put them-
442
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
- so they need some water.
443
00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:36,900
- I will tell one of the nurses.
- Can you do that? Just tell them?
444
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:40,200
That's what they're here for.
They're paid for it.
445
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,400
And I brought you this.
446
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:52,300
Thanks. I don't have this one.
447
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,700
- Are you allowed up?
- When it's not bleeding anymore.
448
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:03,600
Isn't it? That means...
449
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,100
You were bleeding terribly at work.
450
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:11,000
- Nurse Signe said it wouldn't live.
- But it did.
451
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:16,700
I'm too dutiful. If I hadn't gone
to work I wouldn't have come here.
452
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:19,700
- Would it have gone wrong then?
- I would have worked.
453
00:45:19,900 --> 00:45:23,900
Now they gave me shots
and made me lie down.
454
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,500
What had you done?
455
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:32,400
The usual.
I ate quinine and drank brandy.
456
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:37,100
- I skipped rope. I skipped so much.
- I see.
457
00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:40,900
And now? What are you doing now?
458
00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:51,200
- Hey... Benke said that Tage knew...
- And if I don't agree?
459
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,600
If you put up a rubber canvas
like this...
460
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,300
Over a frame such as this one...
461
00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:07,500
And then you put the whole thing
on top of the bath like this.
462
00:46:07,700 --> 00:46:11,500
Then you won't have to bend over
so much when you bathe him.
463
00:46:11,700 --> 00:46:16,500
They sell rubber canvas in the
paint shop, and it's not expensive.
464
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,800
Then you can order
a sheet of plywood-
465
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:26,600
- that you put on top of the bath,
where you can keep your bottles.
466
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:30,400
Umbilical powder,
bottom powder, hair powder...
467
00:46:30,500 --> 00:46:35,000
No, not hair powder, you silly.
468
00:46:36,700 --> 00:46:41,500
But what if the sheet
will bulge from the steam?
469
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:48,700
Not plywood.
That's hard as hell. It won't bulge.
470
00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:54,700
Did you figure all this out
when you lay awake?
471
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,700
Yes, and then I had to
get up to draw.
472
00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:02,200
I stood there
smelling your bathrobe for a while.
473
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:09,700
I had to open the cupboard and look
at the boy's shirts and trousers.
474
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,500
Then I went back
and slept like a log.
475
00:47:13,700 --> 00:47:18,100
Do you know what?
You are as crazy as I am.
476
00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:23,900
Visiting hours are over.
477
00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:28,900
- Good bye, then.
- Bye, mummy.
478
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,900
Don't take it so hard.
479
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,800
Don't be silly now.
480
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,900
Bye.
481
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,900
Say hallo to the boy.
482
00:47:55,900 --> 00:48:02,100
Well, it's time to take off one's
beauty again. Short but sweet.
483
00:48:50,300 --> 00:48:53,600
- Do you need some help sleeping?
- I don't take pills.
484
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:58,500
The first night it might be helpful.
Are you no longer in pain?
485
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,500
- It's throbbing down there.
- That's expected.
486
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,800
I'll put the pills here for you.
487
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,100
- I guess you have had enough.
- Yes.
488
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,900
I could taste the castor oil all
through dinner, however good it was.
489
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,100
The end justifies the means,
Mrs Andersson.
490
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:21,200
- How beautiful.
- They're from our own allotment.
491
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:26,200
- Now they're a greeting to your son.
- That's right, Nurse.
492
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,400
- May I turn out the lights?
- Yes.
493
00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:33,300
- Good night. Sweet dreams.
- Good night.
494
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:57,300
Now they're fed
for the last time today.
495
00:51:05,300 --> 00:51:08,700
I've got a pain in my stomach.
496
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,500
He might come out tonight.
497
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,800
He wouldn't dare-
498
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,300
- robbing his mother of her sleep.
499
00:51:23,900 --> 00:51:27,200
But he's very welcome to.
500
00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:30,800
Tonight.
501
00:51:33,100 --> 00:51:38,200
I'll see to it that he is baptized
in church after all.
502
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,800
Even if Harry hasn't agreed yet.
503
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,300
Harry...
504
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:50,000
He's the best in the world for me.
505
00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:54,300
But he doesn't quite understand
these things.
506
00:51:54,500 --> 00:51:58,900
- Have you decided on a name?
- Harry, of course.
507
00:51:59,100 --> 00:52:02,300
Like his father. That's a given.
508
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,200
And Konrad, after my father.
Quite a name, isn't it?
509
00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:10,900
But that's a given too. Then Torsten,
after his paternal grandpa.
510
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,800
And everyone thinks
we should call him that.
511
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,900
But I will always call him
Little Harry.
512
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,900
Oh dear...
513
00:52:27,100 --> 00:52:32,500
How nice it will be
to sleep on my stomach again.
514
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,300
Well, girls, it's beddy-bye for me.
515
00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:41,200
Beddy-bye.
That's what my mum used to say.
516
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:46,900
And kip or snooze.
517
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:51,300
- Good night, and sweet dreams.
- Good night.
518
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:54,200
Sweet dreams.
519
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,900
It has started, Nurse.
It's under way.
520
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:36,100
How close together are they?
521
00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:39,200
Every five or six minutes.
522
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,600
We will bring you down
to the labour ward.
523
00:53:44,100 --> 00:53:50,100
Now it's time, girls. I'm so happy.
524
00:53:50,300 --> 00:53:53,100
And sweet, dear Nurse...
525
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:59,400
Make sure that my flowers are brought
down tomorrow. They're from...
526
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:06,800
Don't look so scared, girl.
This is wonderful. This is life.
527
00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:14,500
I hope you can go back to sleep.
528
00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:26,800
Nurse Inga-Britt.
529
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,100
- Is that his bed?
- Indeed.
530
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:33,400
Are you expecting a crown prince?
531
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,900
Please slide over.
532
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,200
Take a deep breath.
533
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:54,100
Now I've been bragging so much
about it being a boy.
534
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:58,800
Of course I will be happy
whatever it is.
535
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:04,200
- But I think...
- I think so too, and quickly.
536
00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:06,900
This was quick, Mrs Andersson.
537
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,700
- How does it feel now?
- It feels wonderful.
538
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,300
The head has moved down, I think.
539
00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:45,800
Are you pushing
during the contractions?
540
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,900
I think so.
541
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:57,200
Let me know
when the next contraction comes.
542
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,600
I think it's coming straight away.
543
00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:14,300
Take a deep breath and hold it.
544
00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:18,100
Push your chin against your chest.
545
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:22,300
Just push it. That's better.
546
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:26,300
Keep holding your breath.
Keep pushing.
547
00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:40,600
- Is the contraction over?
- I don't know.
548
00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:04,100
- Can't you sleep?
- No.
549
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:08,500
It's impossible. I'm wide awake.
550
00:57:09,900 --> 00:57:12,300
Me too.
551
00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:27,200
- May I sit here for a while?
- Yes.
552
00:57:27,300 --> 00:57:31,200
Take this blanket
so that you don't catch a cold.
553
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:40,700
I wish I could have a cigarette.
554
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:46,900
- Take one.
- What if someone comes?
555
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,900
It's the middle of the night.
No one will come.
556
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,100
It can't taste it.
557
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,900
I can't taste anything.
558
00:58:10,100 --> 00:58:15,200
- It's that damn kid's fault.
- Don't call it damned.
559
00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:19,600
- It hasn't done anything wrong.
- No.
560
00:58:19,700 --> 00:58:22,700
But I have.
561
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:46,700
They think I'm horrible.
I think so too.
562
00:58:46,900 --> 00:58:49,400
I think I'm horrible.
563
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:55,500
I don't want to answer like I do,
but the words just fall from my lips.
564
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:59,800
I bite their heads off
although I don't mean it.
565
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:06,000
Then at night when I can't sleep
I get so angry with myself.
566
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,400
Everything just keeps
growing and growing.
567
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:13,800
And I always end up
at the very bottom.
568
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:19,900
Whatever I do, things just go wrong.
I don't know what to do.
569
00:59:20,100 --> 00:59:22,000
Damn!
570
00:59:24,300 --> 00:59:28,100
What a mess I've made.
I dropped my cigarette.
571
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:31,000
They're going to see
that someone's been smoking.
572
00:59:31,100 --> 00:59:33,800
Well, let them yell at me
in the morning.
573
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:38,700
- Do you want me to turn on the light?
- No, I found it.
574
00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:50,400
"If only things were different",
you said. What did you mean?
575
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:57,100
If I had someone who liked me
enough to want to marry me.
576
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:01,300
If I had somewhere to live,
so it could have a home-
577
01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:05,100
- then I would be happy
about the baby, too.
578
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,500
Not like Stina, of course.
579
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:13,500
But still... In my own way.
580
01:00:13,700 --> 01:00:17,100
I always used to like kids.
In days of old.
581
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:21,300
In days of old... When was that?
A long time ago?
582
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:27,800
I grew tired of having a job at home.
Nothing ever happened, so I left.
583
01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:30,600
Can't your parents help you?
584
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,500
No.
585
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:37,300
Mother would never forgive me. Never.
586
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,700
That was the last thing
she said to me.
587
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,200
She didn't want me to leave.
588
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:46,100
She was scared
I would make a mess of things.
589
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:50,900
"Don't you dare come home
with a kid", she said.
590
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,900
Mothers say such things-
591
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:58,200
- but in the end they receive
their daughters with open arms.
592
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:00,300
Not my mother.
593
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:04,200
She's always been
so haughty and superior-
594
01:01:04,300 --> 01:01:07,600
- even though father's
just a lumberjack.
595
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:12,100
Father... I don't think
he would mind too much.
596
01:01:12,300 --> 01:01:17,200
- But mother...
- What about the baby's father?
597
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,600
He's not a father.
598
01:01:20,700 --> 01:01:23,500
He just wants to get rid of him.
599
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:27,500
He has done it once before.
600
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,200
You see...
601
01:01:33,300 --> 01:01:36,600
I didn't know what it was like.
602
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:42,200
I didn't know anything.
I just did what he told me.
603
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,700
But I'm never doing it again. Never!
604
01:01:46,900 --> 01:01:51,200
I'd rather drown myself,
before I do that again.
605
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:02,900
Why couldn't he have left
once it all started?
606
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,800
It feels like a big lump-
607
01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:10,900
- that just sucks all my blood away.
608
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,100
But it is true what you said.
609
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:18,700
It hasn't done anything wrong.
610
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:24,700
I think about that sometimes
during the nights.
611
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:31,400
It hasn't done anything wrong.
It didn't ask to be born.
612
01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:36,300
But then I remember being little
and wanting to leave home.
613
01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:41,700
I used to think: "Who decided
that I was to be born here?"
614
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:44,200
"Who decided that?"
615
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,800
Still, I had a good life,
compared to what this one will have.
616
01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:51,300
Without a father and everything.
617
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,500
When it grows up it will ask:
618
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,500
"Why did you have me?"
619
01:02:56,700 --> 01:03:00,900
"It would have been better
to let me die at birth."
620
01:03:04,900 --> 01:03:08,100
I still think
you should talk to your mother.
621
01:03:08,300 --> 01:03:10,800
Mothers aren't always
the way we think.
622
01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:16,800
They were young once, too,
and can't have forgotten about it...
623
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:22,900
Forgive me, Hj�rdis.
My tablet is kicking in.
624
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,100
I took it when Stina had left.
625
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,500
Why don't you try and get some sleep?
626
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,900
I can't.
627
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:34,000
I try and try,
but it just makes me feel more awake.
628
01:03:34,100 --> 01:03:36,000
I feel so restless.
629
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:40,100
Take a sleeping pill.
Didn't you get one?
630
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,800
Haven't you been taking
your medication?
631
01:03:51,900 --> 01:03:56,300
I couldn't avoid the injections,
but I'm not taking the pills.
632
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:59,300
It's a strong baby you've got-
633
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:02,000
- who doesn't need pills to stay put.
634
01:04:02,100 --> 01:04:05,600
I don't know which one
is the sleeping pill.
635
01:04:05,700 --> 01:04:10,100
This one, I remember because
it looks like a little yellow rocket.
636
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:15,100
- This might make me sleep.
- Yes, I'm sure it will help.
637
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,600
Good night, Hj�rdis.
638
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:25,500
I'm half asleep already.
639
01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:43,500
This is bound to be a strong boy.
640
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:52,400
Chin towards the chest, hold your
breath and squeeze some more.
641
01:04:52,500 --> 01:04:54,900
Just a bit more. That's it.
642
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:59,400
Squeeze. Squeeze. There you go.
643
01:05:01,100 --> 01:05:03,100
That's it.
644
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:11,900
Easy. Rest yourself.
645
01:05:12,100 --> 01:05:17,400
Rest yourself, and catch your breath.
Just lie there and rest.
646
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:31,700
Is it that far gone already?
647
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:40,000
- Any break between the contractions?
- No, hardly any.
648
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:45,200
- Has the pain stopped now?
- No, it still hurts.
649
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:51,900
Dear God, I had no idea
it was going to be this tough.
650
01:06:13,900 --> 01:06:16,500
Try to relax, Mrs Andersson.
651
01:06:16,700 --> 01:06:19,500
Try and breathe slowly.
652
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:24,000
- I'll go and get Dr Melin.
- Ask him to hurry up.
653
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:13,500
I think we will have to sedate you,
Mrs Andersson.
654
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,600
- Is there something wrong?
- It's a bit rough.
655
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:20,500
It's probably best for you
to be able to drift away for a while.
656
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:24,900
Don't use the forceps!
You're going to hurt him!
657
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:28,900
I'll manage! I'II... I'II...
658
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,700
It's for your own good.
659
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:39,100
Please count with me.
One, two, three...
660
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:43,700
...four, five, six, seven...
661
01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:52,300
Good morning.
662
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:02,700
- Is it time already?
- I've heard the screams for a while.
663
01:08:02,900 --> 01:08:05,800
I wonder who is making
all that noise.
664
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:09,900
You don't have to wonder any longer.
This ought to make her stop.
665
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:15,100
Oh, you're starving, little one.
There we go.
666
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,800
God, it's dripping
all over the place.
667
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,700
Come on, hurry up.
668
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:50,100
Are you bringing
in the flowers already?
669
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:54,500
No, it's just these.
She wanted them moved here.
670
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,400
- Has she had her baby?
- I think so, it started at midnight.
671
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:02,500
She's been here before,
but in another room.
672
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:06,500
No, no, women aren't
supposed to behave like this.
673
01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:11,700
Just gobble everything down
without thinking ahead.
674
01:09:11,900 --> 01:09:13,900
Give us a burp now.
675
01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,300
Nurse Maud?
676
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:43,200
Nurse Brita, please, what's happened?
677
01:10:43,300 --> 01:10:45,400
The baby died.
678
01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:51,500
They said that her labour
was too violent.
679
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:56,400
She was so looking forward to it.
You don't see that very often.
680
01:10:56,500 --> 01:11:00,800
- Does she know about it?
- Yes, I think so.
681
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,300
I'm cold.
682
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:09,700
I'll get some extra blankets for you,
Mrs Anderson.
683
01:11:50,100 --> 01:11:52,200
What are we going to do?
684
01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:57,300
Nothing, Hj�rdis.
There's nothing that will help.
685
01:11:59,300 --> 01:12:01,300
It's horrible...
686
01:12:01,500 --> 01:12:04,500
...as if life itself has died.
687
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:09,700
As if nothing is ever going
to be born again.
688
01:12:09,900 --> 01:12:14,300
The doctors are making their rounds
and will be here soon.
689
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:40,000
- How are you today, Mrs Ellius?
- Fine, I think.
690
01:12:40,100 --> 01:12:42,100
I'm feeling
a little bit of pain, though.
691
01:12:42,300 --> 01:12:46,200
- Have you been out of bed yet?
- No.
692
01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:57,100
Try and get out of bed
for a little while this afternoon.
693
01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:11,400
I want to know why he died.
694
01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:21,100
I feel as helpless as you about this.
695
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:25,500
And I'm very sorry.
There was nothing wrong with you-
696
01:13:25,700 --> 01:13:30,500
- and as far as I can see, there was
nothing wrong with the boy either.
697
01:13:30,700 --> 01:13:33,700
But... it wasn't meant to be.
698
01:13:33,900 --> 01:13:38,300
However cruel that may sound.
699
01:13:38,500 --> 01:13:41,400
That's all I can say.
700
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,500
But...
701
01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:46,900
But...
702
01:13:47,100 --> 01:13:51,000
...he was alive yesterday...
703
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:56,400
I felt him move...
704
01:13:57,400 --> 01:14:01,000
...yesterday evening.
705
01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:04,700
But he didn't survive the delivery.
706
01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:07,700
As far as we know,
it was too much for him.
707
01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:10,900
It could be due to changes
in the placenta-
708
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,700
- since you were so long overdue.
709
01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:19,100
But there's nothing to suggest
that it won't work out next time.
710
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,700
I think we can discharge you-
711
01:14:33,900 --> 01:14:38,800
- but talk to counsellor Gran first,
she'll help you.
712
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:08,500
Yes, it's in room E.
713
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,800
You can't put them there now!
714
01:15:18,900 --> 01:15:24,100
- The flowers are hers.
- But you can't. I'll ask Brita.
715
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:29,500
Yes. X-ray tomorrow at ten o'clock.
Thank you.
716
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:35,600
Nurse Brita, they wanted to put these
with Stina. They can't, surely?
717
01:15:39,700 --> 01:15:42,700
We'll put them here, Hj�rdis.
718
01:15:44,900 --> 01:15:50,800
But you're freezing. Go put your
clothes on, you can go home today.
719
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:57,200
It's awful in there. It's as if
there's nothing but death all around.
720
01:15:57,300 --> 01:16:00,500
Nurse Brita?
721
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:06,000
Would you borrow me some money,
so that I can call my mother?
722
01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:08,800
Of course.
723
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:12,700
Would you hold my hand?
It won't take long.
724
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:17,200
- What's the number?
- S�der�sen 975.
725
01:16:19,800 --> 01:16:22,400
This is Nurse Brita
at the women's clinic ward 2.
726
01:16:22,500 --> 01:16:27,500
I would like to be connected
to S�der�sen 975. Thank you.
727
01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:37,200
Ward 2, Nurse Brita.
728
01:16:37,300 --> 01:16:40,300
Just a moment.
729
01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:49,500
975? Is it mother?
730
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:54,600
Hi, mother, it's Hj�rdis.
731
01:16:56,000 --> 01:17:00,100
I've been ill, mother.
I've been in hospital-
732
01:17:00,300 --> 01:17:02,600
- but I feel better now.
733
01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:06,600
Mother...?
734
01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:11,500
I'm pregnant, mother.
That's why I've been ill.
735
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:16,100
I wanted to get rid of it,
but I can't.
736
01:17:16,300 --> 01:17:22,800
Mother... I want to keep the baby,
even though I have to do it alone.
737
01:17:25,200 --> 01:17:27,500
May I, really?
738
01:17:27,600 --> 01:17:33,100
Even though your worst nightmare
has come true?
739
01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:38,500
Then I'll be there tomorrow.
I'll take the train tonight.
740
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:41,200
Goodbye, mother.
741
01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:49,100
Did you hear what she said,
Nurse Brita?
742
01:17:49,300 --> 01:17:52,300
"Come as soon you can", she said.
743
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:57,100
I can't believe mother said that.
And I've been so scared of her.
744
01:17:57,300 --> 01:18:00,300
Do you have money
for the ticket, Hj�rdis?
745
01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:03,600
No, I don't. What am I going to do?
746
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:08,400
I can lend you the money. Mrs Gran
might be able to reimburse me later.
747
01:18:08,500 --> 01:18:11,100
- How much is it?
- 27,50 crowns.
748
01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:15,800
- I have to write a receipt!
- That's not necessary.
749
01:18:15,900 --> 01:18:19,400
I want to do it properly.
I want to do everything properly.
750
01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:25,500
- Will 50 crowns be enough?
- Oh yes, as long as I get home!
751
01:18:31,700 --> 01:18:34,000
Is that good enough?
752
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:40,100
If this works out well,
it's all thanks to you, Nurse Brita.
753
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:44,700
You had it in you,
and I believed in it, that's all.
754
01:18:44,900 --> 01:18:47,800
Ward 2, Nurse Brita.
755
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:49,800
Right.
756
01:18:49,900 --> 01:18:53,700
Yes. Yes, thank you, very well.
757
01:18:53,800 --> 01:18:57,900
- You and Anders are a good match.
- Greta...
758
01:18:58,100 --> 01:19:03,000
As a confirmed spinster,
I shouldn't interfere, but...
759
01:19:07,300 --> 01:19:10,600
Anders is my brother,
and you know what he means to me.
760
01:19:10,700 --> 01:19:15,000
- You should be able to understand.
- Understand what?
761
01:19:15,100 --> 01:19:18,700
That women of my kind
never should marry.
762
01:19:18,800 --> 01:19:23,700
We're independent enough to want
to stand on our own two feet.
763
01:19:23,900 --> 01:19:26,400
But not independent enough-
764
01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:32,300
- to be able to support
the ones we are married to.
765
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:37,500
Loneliness is our only option.
766
01:19:40,100 --> 01:19:43,400
What do you think Ioneliness is?
767
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:47,500
A cool serenity,
an inviolable security?
768
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:50,600
That's an illusion, Cissi.
769
01:19:50,700 --> 01:19:55,900
Real Ioneliness is a feat.
770
01:19:56,100 --> 01:20:00,500
Behind which
a constant fear is lurking.
771
01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:04,100
A constant fear, Cissi.
772
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,900
- Are you cut out for that?
- Despite all, I do believe so.
773
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:15,700
Can't it be your feelings of guilt
and your physical condition?
774
01:20:15,900 --> 01:20:19,400
This physical condition
you're talking about...
775
01:20:19,500 --> 01:20:22,800
I wanted to say goodbye, I'm leaving.
776
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,400
- We won't have time to...
- I'm going home.
777
01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:29,500
- To your mother?
- Thanks for everything.
778
01:20:29,700 --> 01:20:32,200
You've been very kind.
779
01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:36,700
Stina is sleeping. Will you tell her
that I'm going home?
780
01:20:36,900 --> 01:20:41,600
Of course, Hj�rdis. Good luck.
781
01:20:47,500 --> 01:20:50,700
Anyway, you can't leave it
like you did yesterday.
782
01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:55,300
Anders was devastated, he didn't
understand. You need to discuss this.
783
01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:58,000
Yes, we need to discuss this.
784
01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:01,200
Should I tell him to stop by tonight?
785
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:06,100
Ask him to come, if he wants to
and if he's not too tired.
63907
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