Original subtitles

- Dad, hey. - Harper, honey.

You made it there in one piece?

Yeah, fully intact.

How's it look?

It's better than the pictures.

All right. Come on, give me a tour.

Uh, how...

Dad, don't even. Hold on, don't try, hold on.

I got it, I got it.

Hey, can you see me?

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Harper.

Give me a sec, I gotta find the key.

Brave new world.

Hm?

When you were a kid, I told you not to talk to strangers,

and definitely not to go into their houses.

Now you're making a vacation out of both.

Okay, it's not a vacation, Dad. It's a trip.

Semantics.

It's perfect.

Think you'll find what you're looking for?

Don't make it sound so lofty.

Too small. What's it say?

"Thank you for staying at the Forest Preserve.

We hope it will be an oasis for you,

the way it always has been for us."

Neil, come on. We're gonna be late!

Sorry to cut this short, buttercup, but that's my cue.

Denise?

First week of rumba classes.

Don't look so surprised.

Listen, I'll try again tomorrow, okay?

All right, don't break a hip.

- I'll do my darndest. - Bye, Dad.

Hi.

Hi.

Who are you?

Who are you?

- You don't get to do that. - Do what?

You don't get to "who are you" while I'm who are-ing you.

You can't just walk in here like you own-

- My parents own this place. - What?

Sorry, are you booked this weekend?

Shit, uh, sorry.

My dad told me he blocks the weekends off for me.

- He's not very text-savvy. - Listen, I can just-

- I can call him. I should've double-checked.

Let me just call him.

Okay.

Hey, Dad, you said this place wasn't booked this weekend.

Well, uh, it is and she's here and I'm here,

and you've gotta give her her money back or something.

Dad, I don't care. It's not a good look for me or for you.

Please just do it, thank you.

He told me he's gonna reverse the charges.

Money should be back on your card on Monday.

Am I getting kicked out?

No. No, uh, place is yours.

Oh, well then the refund's really not necessary.

That's what my dad said too,

but I spooked him with the prospect of a bad review.

This place hasn't really been renting, so...

Well, thank you.

Thank you for the restraint, by the way.

I know the knife drawer was probably

looking pretty tempting a second ago,

but I assure you, I'm harmless.

That's exactly what a murderer would say.

That is a fair point.

I'm James.

Harper.

That's a cool name.

Thanks, it was a birthday present.

Okay, uh...

Um, hey, do you want a drink?

I mean, you know, if you drink?

Am I still a suspected murderer?

Well, totally, but if I have any chance of escaping you,

then I'm gonna have to ply you with alcohol.

At least, that's how I survived the last guy, so-

- I don't want to impose.

- It's your house. - Parents' house.

- Same thing. - Still.

Look, I took a year of jujitsu when I was eight,

so I'm pretty sure I can kick your ass if you try anything.

Plus, my sister and I took one of those like women's

defense classes where you learn to kill a guy

with like a pen or a key or a...

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Come on, come on. Come on, come on.

Yeah, I was wondering whose this was.

Thought maybe the cleaning people were still around.

Nope, it's mine!

I can take you into town, if you want,

and get you some gas.

No, I mean, it's fine.

I have AAA, I'll give them a call.

I'm gonna be way faster out here, if you want. You know.

I mean, you've already refunded the stay.

I can't let you buy me gas.

Oh, I didn't say I was paying, so...

Right.

- Uh, yeah. Yeah, thanks. - Yeah?

Okay.

So why Plymouth for your getaway adventure,

or whatever this is?

Oh, um, I went to Middlebury.

I haven't been back to Vermont since graduation.

I had the weekend, so I don't know, I thought I'd just like-

- Relive the glory days?

Explore some places I might have missed.

I don't know, I swung through campus on the way here, it's,

it's different.

Do people really do that?

Like come back and go to parties

where nobody knows them anymore?

Some.

- You? - Oh, no.

I mean, homecoming, but you know.

Where'd you go?

- Dartmouth. - And you graduated?

Yes.

My question was actually when.

Four years ago.

- Three. - Huh, I'd have guessed two.

Baby face?

No, you just don't look entirely jaded yet.

Good luck.

Got any CDs?

Yeah, there might be a couple in there.

What!

Oh, shit.

Oh, my god. What's the album?

It's a mix tape.

No shit. Really?

Really.

Sorry I just haven't seen any of these in the wild lately.

Who made it?

Uh, I did.

Rad.

- Let's listen. - Uh...

We all had a Spice Girls phase.

It is nothing to be ashamed of.

It's personal.

Your relationship with the Spice Girls?

It was for an ex, so...

Got ya.

Did she like it?

She never got it.

There's a story there.

Not one for tonight.

Come on.

Is she from around here?

Sort of. It was a summer thing.

I really wanna listen to it.

Your request has been received

and it's currently under review.

Someone will get back to you in three to five business days.

- You're the worst. - That's a popular opinion.

Dramatic.

Come on, just tell me the good stuff.

Like, what's the best date you guys ever went on?

You see that house over there?

That's where Coolidge got inaugurated.

August, 1923.

This messenger came through town

and started telling everyone that Harding had died,

and Coolidge's dad swore him in by candlelight

- at like three in the morning. - Why do you know that?

I kinda obsess about the past.

- History major? - Uh, enthusiast.

Think it makes for good small talk.

Is it working?

I mean, you haven't lost my interest yet.

I just think it's wild something so big

could happen somewhere so small, you know?

Hm.

So she's the one who ended it, right?

Hm?

Mix tape girl?

I mean, that's always how it goes, right?

No, not always.

I mean, not to get personal, but I mean, like,

how many times has a guy been the one to break up with you?

I mean, I don't know, but it's happened.

Totally, totally. I just...

Statistically, I just...

Oh, uh, sorry. Hold on.

Of course.

Um...

- I should- - Totally, yeah, yeah.

I can...

- I'll be, yeah. - Cool, okay.

Hey, sorry.

No, I'm there.

- Oh, that's sweet. - Mm.

Think they're still together?

Probably not, but...

- Pessimist. - Eh, realist.

Everything cool?

Hm?

Phone call.

Oh! Uh, yeah.

No, yeah. Everything's...

Why? Did I sound like I was-

- No, just, uh, Checkin' in.

Thanks.

It was fun.

Yeah.

Let's get that gas in your car.

So, um, where are you staying tonight?

Don't know yet, actually.

Do you have any friends in town, or...

Not anymore.

Probably just bum it at some cheap hotel.

That sucks.

It's just a couple nights.

Look, I don't want this to be weird or anything, but um,

I mean, the person I was staying with, he bailed on me

last minute and I mean, it is a two-bedroom,

which obviously you already know.

I wasn't trying to guilt you or anything.

No, I know, and that's...

That's why I offered.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, like I said.

Jujitsu.

Right.

Okay, um, so there's no mirror selfies

or photos with fish, which is good, it's a good start.

I am immediately regretting this.

It's too late. Keep stirring.

Okay, so it's, uh, it's not bad.

It's not, it's just that, um...

Your photos, they...

I mean, your photos have no personality.

Ouch.

You asked for my help.

Uh, I believe you asked to help me.

Um, I'm gonna need a replay on that,

because I'm pretty sure you're the one who asked me-

- Okay, okay, lead by example.

Show me yours.

Oh, I don't have one.

Of course not.

Hey, before you question my credentials,

I definitely used to.

And did you delete out of frustration,

or because you found what you were looking for?

Also, follow-up question.

Does he or does he not have an eight-pack?

We are not talking about me right now,

and you need to keep stirring.

Uh-uh.

Oh, my god, it's perfect.

No, you have to upload this. This is the first photo.

- Absolutely not. - What?

Come on, personality!

Mm-mm, mm-mm.

- How's it looking? - Uh, you tell me.

Yeah, good.

- Mm! Mm! - Yeah?

It's good, that can go on the sheet.

Okay.

Also, where is your bio?

Not worth the time.

- Are you kidding? - What am I supposed to do?

Write the same shit everybody else does?

Do the sarcastic subversion thing? That's sad.

I mean, I don't know, but you need something.

- Says who? - Um, your empty inbox.

Ouch again!

Look, just let me write something for you.

Just don't make it stupid.

That's the spirit.

Come on, this is supposed to be fun.

Was it fun for you?

I mean, yeah.

I just went on when I was bored. It's like a game.

Yeah, that's like part of the problem.

My therapist says that... Sorry, is that weird?

Therapy? No, therapy's cool.

Cool, yeah, she says that it's important to be intentional

about this stuff, which like, I agree with, but it's hard

when it feels like my only options are frivolous or forever.

I mean, okay, so what are you looking for?

Something in between?

Isn't everybody?

Yes, I guess, but it does not always feel that way.

Okay, but that frustration's not like exclusive to guys.

No, it's not, you know, it's just different.

Like I've been in the inboxes for some of my female friends.

Like they've let me look in some of their inboxes,

and it's, um, different, just like volume wise.

- The total number of- - Unsolicited dick pics?

That's a thing?

Yeah. You want me to show you?

You save them? Okay.

Well, I mean, I've screenshotted a few.

- Only the winners, though. - The winner?

I don't know... Okay.

Sorry, that's really shitty.

Don't apologize for something you didn't do.

I'm just saying.

I mean, performative nice-guying

is about as pervasive as the dick pics themselves.

Not what I'm doing. I'm not doing any of that.

Unless you blind-sighted some poor, helpless female

with your unsolicited...

No, my you-know has not blind-sighted any helpless female.

I know. I'm just busting your balls.

Um... Let's get these in the oven, yeah?

Yeah.

Broken femur from a skiing accident's definitely a lie.

That's way too specific.

Don't look at my face!

You're not getting anything out of me.

Fine, been in love twice. Final answer, lie.

You're wrong.

Damn it. What was it?

A skiing accident.

It was my wrist, not my femur, and I was seven, not eight.

- That's cheating. - How is it cheating?

You know exactly how it's cheating.

I lied, didn't I?

The half-lie is very manipulative.

That is why I'm undefeated.

Twice, huh?

Yeah.

I think so.

I mean, now I'm curious, but...

Well, if you must know...

Okay, so first time was in kindergarten.

Recess.

It was Halloween just after the costume parade,

and he was an astronaut, I was a pumpkin.

Oh, my god.

I mean, he was crazy decked out.

Like, this wasn't the Party City shit, okay?

This was the real deal.

Like his aunt must've worked for NASA or something.

And I'm in this puffy orange thing that my mom made me,

and I'm sitting on the swings alone,

and he comes over to me from whatever game he's playing.

He stares me dead in the eyes and says,

"I wish I looked as cool as you."

And just walks away.

Total bad ass, like, he just had to tell me that

before he could keep playing.

And that was it?

Yeah, that was it.

T.J. Bellis.

That's love?

Sure felt like it.

You were five.

And?

And...

Number two?

That, my friend, is classified.

- Oh, come on. - No, final answer.

Fine, fine.

And you?

Hm?

Love.

Oh, um...

- Sorry, I should go- - Yeah, totally.

Do you need help cleaning up, or-

- No, it's good. I got it.

- Are you sure? - It's like four cans.

Okay. I'll take this one.

Um...

- See you in the morning? - Mm-hm.

This is Blake.

Hey, um, it's me.

I saw your message and I thought I'd give you a call.

To say goodnight, or whatever.

But no pressure.

Just, we'll talk when we talk. Um...

Yeah, anyway...

I hope you have a good night.

Bye.

- Oh, my god. Hi. - What's up?

- I thought you were working? - I took the day off.

Thought I'd surprise you.

Wow, this is really unexpected, I-

- Well, you made such a big thing about it. I figured-

- No, I know, I just didn't think

that you'd actually be able to come, so-

- Can I come in? - Yeah.

Morning.

Morning. Hi, uh, I'm James.

Blake.

Who are... Who is this?

James's family owns the place and, um,

there was a scheduling mix-up.

He came up yesterday from...

- Boston. - Boston!

"Boston?"

Yeah, um, long story short, he's super chill.

So, I thought that it made more sense for him to

take the downstairs bedroom than like blow money on a hotel.

You know?

Totally.

Do you guys wants breakfast, or...

Look, it's just kinda weird.

I know, but come on. What was I supposed to do?

Send his ass to the Marriott?

Look, I didn't even know that you were coming.

Exactly. So what do you think it was like walking into that?

No, I know, but I told you nothing happened.

I know what you said, but most guys-

- What? Would've thought that I sucked his dick?

Don't be gross.

Look, I just, I don't see how it's any different

than if I just rented a room instead of the whole house.

If you don't see the difference between-

- I didn't do anything wrong! - Harper!

I didn't come here to fight.

I'm not, I'm not fighting.

I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn,

- just so I could beat traffic. - I know.

- To hang out with you. - I know and I'm sorry.

I'm really happy to see you.

I'm really happy that you're here.

Blueberry or banana?

Wow, that's a toughie.

- Harper? - Um...

Blueberries cool?

There's a maple tree a few yards that way

with a spigot on it if you guys want the fresh stuff.

Well, I never say no to fresh sap.

Pretty sure that's not even how maple syrup works.

It's really good, James.

Thanks.

Do you always come with the place,

- or did we just get lucky? - Blake.

What? No, this is some serious bed and breakfast shit.

I'm into it.

Guess fortune smiled.

You sure the whole scheduling mishap

wasn't just a fun way to say "hi?"

Look, if it was, they'd be losing a lot of money.

James refunded the whole stay, no questions asked.

Good.

What're, um, what're you guys doing today?

We are going on a run. We're training for a half.

Yeah, I used to run in college.

And I rented a boat for the afternoon.

- A boat? - Sounds fun.

Yeah.

If you're looking for some good trails, there are some

great ones over at Coolidge Homestead, it's the place-

- Oh, yeah, the one that you told me about yesterday

after you came back with the gas?

- The gas? - Yeah.

Yeah, my car crapped out right when I got here, so um,

James played handyman while I got settled.

It was really nice.

How chivalrous.

Yeah, um, you know, if you guys wanna bop,

totally go for it, I'm gonna be around for a little.

If you need anything, Harper, you have the-

- Yeah, maybe you'll come on the boat with us later?

If there's room?

Yeah, totally, possibly.

I might be meeting up with somebody, so-

- I thought you said everybody

- you knew was out of town? - They are.

My friend just took this new photo of me, I'm gonna

try uploading to Tinder, 'cause they say the algorithms

boost when you're out of town, it's really stupid.

Not stupid at all. Appreciate the hustle, brother.

Yeah, yeah. It's, uh...

It's challenging.

So I think it's right down here?

Yeah. It's like the one way to go.

Wanna do what, an eighth today?

Okay.

- Ready? - Right.

- Let's go. - I'll start us.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have like no service.

Yeah, I'll be in tomorrow.

We're all set for Friday.

I told you, it's not an issue.

Okay.

Harper!

Let's go! Come on!

Yeah, I've been up here since May,

doing summer stock in Weston.

We just closed the last show.

My mom was a dancer, so...

- I know the life, yeah. - That is so cute!

Did she like teach you how to tap dance or something?

She definitely tried,

but my sister definitely got most of that.

And you have a sister? Cute.

Is she like, is she in the business too?

Oh, no, she's in med school.

God bless.

Four years plus a residency? No, thanks.

Not for me.

I just graduated BOCO and I'm like ready to go, you know?

I mean, a long gig right of school,

that's like really good, right?

Yes, it's so blessed to have those contracts. So grateful.

But at the same time,

I'm also so ready to be back in the city.

Four weeks with the same people, it kinda make you crazy.

I mean, I can imagine.

So, your profile says you're just here for the weekend?

Yeah, uh, quick trip. In and out, yeah.

Yeah, totally.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

Yeah, there's like no pressure.

I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything, or-

- I haven't gotten laid all summer.

12 gays, two straight guys and 19 horny chorus girls.

Do the math.

Damn, dude. Must've been a good pic.

Oh.

Hi! I'm Alison.

- Blake. - Harper.

Sorry, um, I neglected to mention this is an Airbnb.

- I mean, it's my house, but- - Parents' house.

Right, parents' house. Sorry.

This is, uh, a scheduling mix-up.

We're all staying here now. I'm sorry if that's weird.

Do you know how many housemates I had this summer?

It's nothing. I was doing summer stock in Weston.

Oh, damn. Sign me up.

- Are you union? - I have no idea.

Well, auditions are always cutthroat, but,

you have a real leading man vibe to you.

So you'd definitely get through the initial type-out.

I thought you guys were renting a boat?

- Oh, we love boats. - Me too!

- Me too. - Yeah, boats are cool.

Sorry, I just didn't realize

you guys were gonna be back so soon.

I wanted to change.

Oh, and James, don't forget.

That offer I made at breakfast? Still stands.

What offer?

Join us on the boat, my man.

We've got an eight-person bowrider. Plenty of room.

That sounds so fun!

So fun.

Come on, what do you say, Jimmy?

How about a little maritime adventure?

I didn't know that was your nickname.

It's not.

This thing goes to 45?

Yeah, it's a super-charged engine.

Last week, I pushed her up to 48.

Awesome.

If you want, later, I'll be happy to let you drive.

Ah, I don't know.

I might crash us into somethin'.

Ah, it's not that hard.

He is such a boy.

Yeah, yeah. Mopeds, ATVs, dirt bikes.

It's kind of his thing.

Lucky you.

Yeah. Yeah, he's somethin'.

Do you ride, James?

I had an electric scooter when I was a kid.

You know, being out here on the water really reminds me

of my production of "Anything Goes," I played Hope-

- Hey, Blake?

- What? - Could you get me a beer?

- You want? - No, I'm good, thanks.

Those days are kinda long gone for me

and I think I wanna keep my boating license, but you know,

you guys have a good time this afternoon.

Oh, we will.

- All right. - Thank you.

All right. What should we toast to?

To life!

To life.

James, I gotta tell you, you found a good one here.

To life.

You know what? I'm gonna go for a swim.

James.

Hold my beer.

Harper, come on. Let's go.

Oh, I didn't bring my suit.

Harper, we're on a boat.

Why didn't you bring your bathing suit?

I didn't bring mine either, so...

James, we're on a boat.

Why didn't you bring your bathing suit?

I'll swim.

Did you remember to bring your bathing suit?

No, but I don't care.

Harper?

Yeah. Sorry, I do care.

James?

Yeah, no, sorry, I'm way too drunk.

So, yeah.

Suit yourself.

- Be safe, Blake. - Always.

- You ready? - So ready.

You're cool with getting everything wet, right?

- Yeah. - Its gonna be pretty deep.

All right, so on three, we're gonna jump in.

Okay, wait, on three or on go?

On three.

I'm gonna count to three and then we're gonna jump in.

Oh, my god. Okay.

One.

- Two. - Two!

- Three. - Three!

I got scared!

Oh!

Come here! I got ya.

Did you feel that?

What was that?

That wasn't me.

- That was not me. - You're so annoying.

It's the truth.

You're not sorry.

You wanna play a game?

First, get over here.

To life.

Try and stand on my hands.

It appears your master plan worked.

Yeah, a little too well, apparently.

What did you put in my bio?

"Here for a good time, not a long time.

- Catch me if you can." - That's objectively terrible.

- Clearly not. - What does that even mean?

Well, that's the beauty of it, right?

It's the ambiguity. Is it music lyrics, a movie reference?

A thinly veiled way of saying

that you're time in town is limited

and you're looking to copulate and make it count.

Option C is definitely the inference

that she made about me.

Oh.

Sorry, it's my dad.

Dad, hey.

Harper, how are you, sweetie?

Pretty, pretty good, yeah.

Where are you? It looks beautiful.

Oh, um, yeah, it's Lake Echo.

Let me give you the full view, so um,

over there is where the house is.

And then the sunset is gonna be back over this way.

Who's that?

Oh! Um, it's-

- Hi! I'm Neil, Harper's dad.

It's not him, Dad.

Sweetie, I thought you said he wasn't coming?

Yeah, yeah, it's not him and he can hear you.

Oh.

Who's he, then?

He's just a friend.

It's good to meet you anyway, sir.

Likewise.

When do I get to meet this guy, Harper?

I don't know. When it feels like something?

Well, it's been six months.

Yeah and very inconsistent.

Listen, Dad, I can't talk about this right now, okay?

Fine. Sorry to press.

- It's fine. - I just...

Look, I know and I love you for it, but I gotta go.

- Enjoy the water. - Okay, love you.

Bye, Dad.

He seems cool.

He is.

So you and Blake, uh...

Sorry if I'm getting in the way of the weekend,

or whatever this is supposed to be.

No, it's fine, he...

He seems to enjoy the company.

- Here you go. - Thank you so much.

No problem.

Oh!

You don't have to do that.

Just in case the guys come out.

Oh, I mean, not like he's not gonna see it later anyway.

James, I mean.

What?

Oh, it's just funny.

What's funny?

Me, you, this porch, Vermont. Like, what?

Totally. It's like fate.

Yeah or like completely random, right?

I mean, I didn't even know who you were six hours ago,

and now a couple of algorithms on some apps's

just made it happen, but I mean, after tomorrow,

it's not like we're ever gonna see each other again

or remember each other's names or that this ever happened.

Oh, don't say that!

What's your Instagram?

She's hot, man.

- Hm? - Tinder chick, Ali?

- Solid seven. - We're just hanging out.

That's the way to be.

Can't take 'em too serious.

I thought you were kind of a simp this morning,

but you're actually pretty chill.

Thank you.

Listen, I'm gonna help you out.

- How? - I'm gonna wing-man for ya.

Get her juices flowin'. Hang tight.

Ladies.

Wanna play a game?

What kind of game?

Come in, I'll show you.

This...

Is Paranoia.

One by one, we'll go around in a circle,

and when it's your turn, you'll pick someone,

and ask them a "who" question.

A "who" question?

Yeah. Like, "who here lost their virginity last?"

Or, who do you think is into butt stuff?

Seriously?

It's an example.

- I got it. - Good.

And then the person will answer.

But no one else will know what was asked.

So if you wanna find out,

you have to take a shot.

Who wants to go first?

Me it is.

Eenie.

Meenie.

Minie.

Moe.

Go on.

It's a tough one.

Well, there's only four of us to choose from.

Can I pick myself?

Yeah, if you think that's the answer.

Then...

Yeah.

Me.

That's hot.

All right. Your turn.

Uh...

James.

Blake.

You don't wanna know?

I already know who he thinks has the biggest dick, so...

Does that mean it's my turn?

Interesting.

Alison.

Definitely.

Oh, damn it.

Tell me.

I asked who you think is most likely to cheat on someone.

Okay, it was sophomore year and he was really boring.

Hey, no judgment here. We're all people.

Yeah, I mean, anything goes, right?

The musical you were in, I was referencing-

- Oh.

All right. Alison, you're up again.

No, let Harper go. She hasn't had a turn yet.

Oh, no, I'm good.

No, she's right.

Harper, come on. Ask a question.

Okay.

You, Harper.

Well?

She asked who do I think-

- I asked "who do you think is hiding something?"

Time for round two.

Which means two shots,

and we're moving on to "yes" or "no" questions.

You would?

Yeah.

I would.

Let's hear it.

I asked her if she would give up sex for a year,

- to be on Broadway. - It's my dream.

Honestly, Harper.

I don't know what you're so paranoid about.

It's my turn.

Oh, two in a row.

Yeah.

I do.

Oh, come on, James. You gotta ask her about that one.

All right.

Fine, I'll do it.

One.

Two.

She asked me if I thought James

was gonna sleep with me tonight.

Oh-hoo! Making friends real quick around here.

You drank, it's your turn.

What?

- Do you need me to repeat the question? - Why would you ask me that?

It's Paranoia, James. Answer.

- Haven't thought about it. - So think about.

- That's my answer. - Eh, that's not an answer.

My answer is I don't have an answer.

Aggressive.

Harper, that's like four shots in two minutes.

- I'm fine. - She's fine.

What'd he ask?

It's not, it doesn't matter.

I asked him who he felt was hotter. You or Alison.

What? That's not even a "yes" or "no" question.

- Oops. - Why did you have to think about it? No offense.

Why are we doing this?

'Cause it's fun. Aren't you having fun, James?

- I'm having fun. - See? She's having fun.

Can I ask a question?

Technically it's Harper's turn.

No, it's okay, James. Go ahead, ask your question.

So you're forgoing your turn?

Yeah, I'm forgoing my turn.

Another wasted opportunity, but hey-

- What the fuck does that mean?

- Relax. You're embarrassing- - "Relax?"

Stop.

- James, it's your turn, bud. - Oh, my god!

Yes.

You know, I don't know if you wanna know.

My impending hangover would suggest otherwise.

He asked if I was tired of this game.

I don't think that's what he asked you.

Well, it is, and I am.

James?

Yeah, I guess Paranoia's not a misnomer.

You still tired?

- Morning. - Morning.

- Good night? - Yeah.

You?

Yeah.

Bye.

- See you in the city? - Mm-hm.

By the way, cookies are overdone.

Hey.

Thank you so much, I had so much fun.

You're so welcome.

And remember, I'm @allycat88_3.

Yeah, did you see James this morning?

Oh, he wasn't here when I woke up.

Oh.

His loss, right?

Yeah, totally.

- Shuttle's leaving! - Coming!

I thought you were taking an Uber?

Oh, he said he was passing the station.

Summer stock doesn't really pay, so...

Toodles!

Hey.

Quite the itinerary.

Yeah, it's uh, subject to change.

I just figured I'd leave a roadmap of my whereabouts,

- in case you got bored. - Oh.

You know, you could just leave your number,

like a normal person.

Yeah, I kinda get in my head

when I'm hoping someone's gonna text me back, so...

So you slipped out early.

Just quietly.

Blake leave?

Yeah. Yeah, about a half-hour ago?

Alison said you left without saying goodbye.

Yeah, we're uh, now in the latter stages of the texting,

chilling and ghosting cycle, so-

- Oh, I know it well.

Victim or perpetrator?

Totally, right on. Love it.

- Shut up. - Awesome. What?

You literally just said you did the same thing.

Did not literally say it, did not figuratively say it.

No, I did not and if I did, it'd be totally irrelevant.

How is it irrelevant?

We're not talking about me, we're talking about you.

- You're so... - Hm?

So...

What?

I wanna know more things about you.

That'd be cool.

I used to think being in my 20s would feel so adult,

put together, you know?

But really, you just realize more and more

how little you know about life.

It's inherently upsetting.

And what's worse is you know there are people

who pretend like that's not how it is.

Like the girl who cheated off my little sister in pre-calc

is bragging about baby number two and her forever-home

on Facebook, like give me a break.

Sorry, you're still on Facebook?

Shut up.

Oh, wow.

I miss this.

What do you do with all those?

I used to print 'em out and put 'em in albums, but uh,

I haven't really shot for myself in my while, so-

- Why?

I'm not sure if I love it anymore.

- Something change? - Uh, yeah.

Turned into work.

- Like professionally? - Yeah.

Yeah, I shoot weddings.

That's cool.

It used to be.

I mean, it's gotta be better than my nine-to-five, right?

It's a template.

It's the same eight poses in the same three positions,

twice a week, every week, so-

- May have spoken too soon about you not being jaded.

I don't know, I'd say numb.

I stand in a corner, capturing identical memories,

over and over and over again.

The only thing that changes is the flower arrangement.

Could do something else.

It's too late for me, James.

Anyway, I had a professor tell me once that, um,

she didn't teach because she loved it.

She taught because she was good at it and tenured.

That's rough.

Yeah, I don't know.

It used to not make sense to me, but now?

What about Blake?

Hm?

You said you've been in love twice, just uh,

is he the second one?

I don't see what this have to do with-

- Is he love or is he tenure was the intended question.

Both, neither? I don't...

I don't know.

Sorry, I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything.

- I mean, you kind of are. - I...

Just wondering. You don't have to answer.

I guess it's not a bad thing.

You're welcome. Enjoy.

Hello.

- Are you all set? - Yeah, this is for me.

Would you like ice cream?

Uh, yeah. That would be great.

Okay, rotate a bit?

- Okay. - No, sorry, towards me?

- Towards you. Stupid. - Yes. No, that's perfect.

Still don't think it's gonna work.

Look, I really think it's gonna help,

and I'm not charging, so what's the harm?

Not really photogenic, you know.

Yeah, the one I took on Friday worked.

- Okay, thank you for that. - Just fine.

Okay.

Have a little faith.

You still wanna eat this stuff?

Uh, yeah, we're not wasting perfectly good bread.

Okay.

All right, now one together.

- Like me and you? - Yeah.

- How? - I have a timer.

- What will we do? - There we go.

All right. Oh, eight seconds, eight seconds, hurry!

- Uh, feed me, James. - Baguette?

- Mm, grape! - Okay.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! We have like three seconds!

Go, go, go, eat it.

That was stupid.

I'm gonna see.

No, it's perfect.

- It's perfect? - Mm-hm.

- Why did we do that? - It brings it all to life.

Otherwise, you're just a lonely boy cutting a baguette.

Wow, I feel seen.

Look, we want people to sense the potential of this place.

Right? The romance.

People's imaginations are way more stunted than you think.

I don't think I've ever seen editorial photos

- for an Airbnb before. - Well, you can be the first.

If the photos we have are so uninspired, why did you book?

I don't know.

First impressions aren't really a deal-breaker for me.

But I'm weird like that.

That one's just for me.

When I was a kid and I got a crush on somebody,

it was like all-consuming.

I remember this one summer at camp,

I found out she liked me too,

and it was like, I was paralyzed.

Like instantaneously nauseous.

Wait, why?

Uh, I just hadn't thought about what happened next.

Like, what I had to do now.

That's kind of adorable.

I mean, that's just how it is, right?

Even now, people start questioning everything

when shit gets real.

I don't know, I mean,

statistically speaking, it's way safer to date people

that you don't actually want in your life forever.

You're gonna have to break that one down for me.

Um...

Oh.

Sorry, I thought I had a full battery.

Just plug it in. There's an outlet over there.

Yeah, it doesn't play when it's plugged in, so,

it's okay, I'll just do it off the phone.

Uh, hold on a sec.

One sec.

All right, screw it.

- Is that- - Yeah.

- Are those- - You're blind.

- You wanna do this? - Yeah.

Are you sure?

- Almost. - You don't have to.

We're just gonna listen to the B-side.

Okay, um, next one is,

"share what you see as positive characteristics

of your partner, alternate, three for each."

I think that you are very good

at diffusing awkward situations.

Thought it was my turn to go first.

Just slipped out.

Must've been thinking about it already.

You've doing a fair amount of it this weekend, so...

All right, your turn.

Tell me how awesome I am.

Um...

I think that you're genuinely kind.

That's better than mine.

You also have nice eyes and good taste

in late 2000s sad boy music.

I thought we were supposed to alternate?

- Just slipped out. - Hm.

Okay, my turn?

Mm-hm.

I like that you have a good relationship with your dad.

That's boring.

Okay, nice eyes. Nice nose, nice-

- It's too late.

- Um... - What's the third?

I think you're a good liar.

- What? - Last night.

What you said to Blake at the end of Paranoia.

I didn't lie.

I didn't.

You told him I asked if you were tired of the game.

Yeah, you did.

I asked if you wanted to sit on the porch with me instead.

Well, it's the same thing.

James.

- Forget it. - No, what?

- No, it's my mistake. - No, just tell me.

I don't understand what's happening. What are...

- What? - It's not the same thing.

Not last night, not like that.

I don't know what you want me to say.

You don't have to say anything.

I know I don't have to say anything,

but I don't know what you want me to say.

What? Just tell me.

- No. - What?

Because we both know

how the conversation's gonna go.

- No, we don't! - Yes, we do.

No, we don't!

Yes, I'd rather it just stay like this, okay?

- Like what? - Suspended in the maybe.

Shit.

I like you too, you know?

You don't have to say that.

I know I don't have to say that.

Just like I didn't have to let you stay.

I don't get crushes on people anymore.

Me either.

I kind of miss it.

Yeah, me too.

Is that him or your dad?

It doesn't matter.

This isn't normally how it goes.

We can forget about it.

Tomorrow, if you want.

Hi.

This suddenly feels very vulnerable.

Honestly, it's the third time I'm recording this intro,

but I promised myself I'm not gonna do it again, so...

Yeah.

We haven't found each other yet,

but when we do, I just, um,

I'm doing this because when we do, I want you to know

this part of me.

The...

Experience of

wanting you before knowing you.

I guess I don't wanna forget either, which is weird, but...

Yeah.

Anyway, this is for you. Whoever you are.

Or who you will be.

I don't know your name or where you're from,

or when or how we're gonna meet, but...

When you're not just a hazy shadow in my mind,

I hope cassette players are still a thing.

Haven't listen to that in a while.

Shit, um... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-

- I knew there was a 50/50 shot of it happening, so...

It's so lame, right?

No. No, I don't really think so.

I really am sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

Stop apologizing.

I thought you said it was for that girl?

What girl?

The girl in the car, you said that-

- I've never had a summer fling in Plymouth.

Just, uh...

Felt like an easier explanation than making a mix tape

for a figment of my imagination.

Especially 'cause I'd only known you like 45 minutes, so...

James Madison and Jane Doe.

Your parents named you after a president?

Mm-hm.

Setting the stage for a lifetime of debilitating nostalgia.

You good?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm good.

Uh, the instructions said to leave them

in the rock, but considering.

Five stars, right?

You know, I was gonna go with three!

I guess we can meet in the middle.

Four.

- Back to New York? - Yeah.

Pit stop in Hartford to see my sister,

but I'll be back by tonight.

- Boston? - Yeah.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

You know, I used to have all the route patterns

of my favorite trails memorized.

I could run all four miles of them with my eyes closed.

But...

Now, I don't know.

If you asked me what the color of the apartment building

across from mine was, I...

I don't think I could tell you.

Do you have time for breakfast?