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1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,213
So, this is where
the magic happens.
2
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,302
By which I mean sudoku.
3
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:06,337
(both laugh)
4
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,260
Oh, wow.
5
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,298
-That's a lot of love seats.
-Yeah.
6
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:13,142
I think you can never have
too many love seats, so...
7
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,098
-I hope not.
-(chuckles)
8
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,388
I've just been getting
the house together,
9
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,271
buying furniture,
uh, making art.
10
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,359
Actually, I've been getting
into this movement
11
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,685
called "freebuilding."
12
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,729
It's, uh, making sculptures
out of leftover
13
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,993
construction material.
14
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,735
-So I just kind of let my hands
tell me where to hammer. -Mm.
15
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,448
So you just let your hands go
16
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,238
wherever the hell you want,
don't you?
17
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,412
Yep. And so, how about--
this is a pretty cool color,
18
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,370
don't you think?
19
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,540
Mm.
20
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,748
Someone left a can
of Benjamin Moore
21
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:39,787
at my site in Woburn.
22
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,790
They did?
That's so silly of them.
23
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,502
Super high quality.
24
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,422
Very popular shade.
October Mist, it's called.
25
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,051
-Moody.
-Yeah.
26
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,628
It's a green that makes
everything look better.
27
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,133
Like your eyes.
28
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,014
-Oh, thank you.
-(chuckles)
29
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:56,271
And this piece, wow.
30
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,595
You know, it's, like,
very masculine,
31
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,100
but then... (exhales sharply)
32
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,442
like, all of a sudden
very feminine.
33
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,896
It's sensual, this...
34
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,686
-It's my mom.
-Oh.
35
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,780
(mutters) So, I sculpted it
based on the memory
36
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,566
of her taking care
of my grandma
37
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,990
when she was in hospice.
38
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,198
Yeah, I could see that.
39
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,028
It's really good.
40
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,748
♪ ♪
41
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,343
Sam, are you, are you okay?
Are you drunk right now?
42
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,495
I'm not drunk.
43
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,343
And you are not
married anymore.
44
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,168
♪ Two eyes, two ears,
they for somethin'... ♪
45
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,144
Did you Uber here
from your mom's?
46
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,466
-That must have been
so expensive. -I live with Brit now.
47
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,931
Wait, so you're, you're-you're
going back to Brit's after this?
48
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,103
Joel, it's okay.
49
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,851
Is it okay, though?
50
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,153
Are we gonna have sex or not?
51
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,066
Maybe we should-- Maybe we
finish the tour first?
52
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,155
I want to go home now.
53
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,737
I'm sorry.
54
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,910
Do you want to hold my hand
55
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,911
for a couple minutes
or something?
56
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,833
We don't have to, like,
intertwine fingers.
57
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,422
It'd be like a handshake hold,
like, like mittens.
58
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:09,088
-No.
-No?
59
00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:12,916
Well, you know, my, my therapist
Alan would say...
60
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,974
I actu-- I don't know what,
I don't know what he would say
61
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,348
right now, but you have someone
62
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,096
you can talk to, right?
63
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,177
Sure.
64
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,815
(phone buzzes)
65
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,447
(phone chimes)
66
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,131
(door opens)
67
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,377
(door shuts)
68
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,468
Oh, hey, party person.
You got in late.
69
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,255
(whispers):
Oh. Sorry.
70
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,648
-Felicia.
-Hmm?
71
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,977
-You got a customer.
-Oh, crap.
72
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,982
I booked a flirty-vixen
pole class.
73
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,614
Not today.
74
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,571
(sighs)
All right.
75
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,031
Make the money, make the money,
make the money. Okay.
76
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,162
♪ So good that the others get
nervous... ♪
77
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,489
Mrs. Fink.
78
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,874
-Carol.
-Yes.
79
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,120
I'll never get used to that.
80
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:28,422
-Yeah.
-What are you doing here?
81
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:32,127
How does it work here?
How does one begin?
82
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,799
Oh, you want me
to cut your hair?
83
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,008
I just thought you always went
to Phillipe Trailleur,
84
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,468
or whatever his name is,
on Newbury Street.
85
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,718
Yeah, I'm thinking
let's mix it up a little bit.
86
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,260
Maybe I'll date,
maybe I won't.
87
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,604
Who knows? You know,
do a little zhuzh.
88
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,639
Isn't that what you kids say?
89
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,772
Yeah, I would zhuzh you,
for sure.
90
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,860
-But what happened to Bob?
-No Bob.
91
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,016
-Oh.
-So, look,
92
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,113
I brought you these, uh, photos.
93
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,410
-Okay, you thinking you want to
do the pixie or the shag? -Combo.
94
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,525
-Okay, these are, like,
wildly different haircuts. -No.
95
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:05,333
These are vibrant women
who seem intelligent.
96
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,458
-Okay, so you want the bang?
-God, no.
97
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,667
God-- Okay.
But you like the...
98
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,707
Length.
99
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,590
And the layers
framing your face?
100
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,877
-That is not me.
-Okay, but,
101
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,591
-what is it you like?
-How long it is.
102
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,891
Okay.
103
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,005
Okay, so what you're telling me
is that
104
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,012
you want the exact same haircut
you have now,
105
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,024
-just a half-inch shorter?
-This could work.
106
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,637
-We got it, all right?
-Mm-hmm.
107
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,523
(indistinct chatter)
108
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,937
(sniffs)
109
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,462
There she is.
110
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,665
Hi.
111
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,625
-Hi.
-Careful with the patient.
112
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,666
She's only here
for two days.
113
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,958
The doctor barely
cleared her to come.
114
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,171
It's fine. I'm fine.
115
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,671
The doctor said take it easy.
116
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,382
You need to avoid all stressors.
117
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,138
-You made it.
-Of course.
118
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,643
-Okay. Okay.
-Wow. Wow!
119
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,140
Yep, did the happy part.
What's up?
120
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,812
Nothing. Cool party.
121
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,231
-Really?
-Yeah.
122
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,979
It's great. I'm so excited
to see you.
123
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,730
And the baby looks good
in there.
124
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,572
-I'm glad.
-Yeah.
125
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,147
Did you sleep in those clothes?
126
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,662
Huh? Of course not.
These are my day-jamas.
127
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,855
You know? It's a...
(clears throat) it's a thing.
128
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,494
-It's becoming a thing.
-Sam.
129
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,491
-What?
-I will turn this baby shower into a meeting
130
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,663
if you don't tell me
what's going on.
131
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,791
There's nothing going on.
132
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,998
I just had a-a weird week,
that's all.
133
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,918
Did you drink?
134
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,787
No, no, I didn't drink.
135
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,004
But you came close, right?
136
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,013
Well...
137
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,505
Okay, what's happening
with finding a new sponsor?
138
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,928
Who have you called?
139
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,136
Um...
140
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,595
-Sam...
-No, no, I--
141
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,056
-I just, I've been really busy.
-Uh-huh.
142
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,176
Seriously, like, they gave me
a lot more responsibility
143
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,313
-at Hit Pause.
I cover Revere now. -Mm.
144
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:56,230
And Needham and Dedham
and Spreadham.
145
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,991
Okay, I'm going to introduce you
to the best person I know.
146
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,315
My sponsor.
147
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,699
-Really?
-Yeah.
148
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,157
Let's go meet Darby.
149
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,077
Okay, so she's technically
your grand sponsor,
150
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,286
but do not call her that.
151
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,536
-She thinks that it ages her.
-Okay.
152
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,497
Oh, interesting.
153
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,667
So this one actually
smells like a diaper.
154
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,957
I wonder what they put
in the chocolate.
155
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,670
Is that her?
156
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,420
Yeah. Is there a problem?
157
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,682
No. She seems... cool.
158
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,885
Is she eating poop
out of a diaper?
159
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,176
Oh, yeah.
She's totally insane.
160
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,063
ALL:
Aw...
161
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,438
WOMAN:
Look how cute.
162
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,055
MINDY:
Right, this onesie's from Sandra.
163
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,441
And since it's my
future godchild's special day,
164
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,819
we won't be discussing
my thoughts
165
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,895
on woke capitalism.
Thanks, Sandra.
166
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,241
SANDRA:
Thank you.
167
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,985
(gasps)
168
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,992
-(laughs)
-Darby, no!
169
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,531
Yes! Oh, my God, can you believe
they still sell giant panties
170
00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:52,254
-at the place by Dollywood?
-No.
171
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,575
Okay, after our
freshman year at Smith,
172
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,542
we went on this little road trip
together to see the country.
173
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,292
It was more about doing
every drug imaginable
174
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,174
in gross motels than seeing
the country, but whatever.
175
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,632
So we're driving down 95,
and I saw what I thought
176
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,092
was a floating dog.
177
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,681
And I'm like, "Uh-oh, she's on
dorm room peyote."
178
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,097
And she gets out
to pet the dog.
179
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,595
-OLIVIA: Yeah.
-And it turns out
180
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,427
it's just the sign for this
random underwear store.
181
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,443
Yeah, so there's this,
like, really angry dude...
182
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,435
I know, but remember he had
the Jodie Foster tattoo?
183
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,357
-So we-- I felt
like we were safe. -Yeah.
184
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,436
He loved us so much, he gave us
each a pair of panties
185
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,862
-with a rottweiler on it.
-(laughter)
186
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,701
Oversized canine panties
from Darby.
187
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:28,867
Not sure how the baby
will wear them,
188
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:29,905
but that's funny.
189
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,488
It can be used as a swaddle.
190
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,333
-It's a swaddle.
-Yes.
191
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,448
That's the last gift,
everyone.
192
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,834
-Thank you all for coming.
-(applause)
193
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,290
OLIVIA:
Thank you, I have missed you all so much.
194
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,422
So, Olivia tells me we're going
to be working together.
195
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,550
Oh, yeah, I-I guess we are.
I'm Sam.
196
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,758
-Yeah. I'm Darby.
-Right.
197
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,298
I was conceived in an Arby's
198
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,181
with the help of a man
named Dan.
199
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,678
My mother loved wordplay.
200
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,270
Funnily enough,
she's also an alcoholic.
201
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,675
I think my mom
just picked my name
202
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,563
out of a book of Jewish
girl names,
203
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,400
so it's not as interesting.
204
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,556
-True story.
-Sorry, what?
205
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,864
Your story's not as interesting.
206
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,737
-You guys are connecting.
Hi.
207
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,695
Did Darby tell you
she has 20 years sober?
208
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,316
I have 20 years sober.
209
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,202
I loved rum and cocaine.
210
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,659
If you want, you can check out
my dissolved septum.
211
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,660
You can put your fingertips
through it.
212
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,161
I don't need to do that.
213
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,252
It's essentially like
a razor-thin slice of ginger
214
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,917
at a fancy sushi restaurant.
Try it.
215
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,955
-Isn't that crazy?
-It's so gross. -It's very gross.
216
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,749
-OLIVIA: I love that.
-Very cool.
217
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,463
Okay, so, a little bit more
about me.
218
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,473
The program saved my life
at age 20.
219
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,545
I've never even had
a legal drink.
220
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:30,931
And then Darby saved my life.
221
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,927
She got me out of a bottle
and into a meeting.
222
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,349
Great.
223
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,637
I love this.
Keep going.
224
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,480
Sam, tell her your story.
225
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,516
What, right now?
226
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,689
-Just do it.
-Okay.
227
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,938
-Well, I got sober about...
-Where's your gift?
228
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,400
'Cause I didn't see Mindy
write anything down.
229
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,110
I didn't-- I didn't bring one.
230
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,070
-Huh.
-'Cause, you know, the baby's
231
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,649
not even born yet.
And it's like,
232
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,664
how can you get a gift
for someone you don't know?
233
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,406
Well, you just go to a store
and you buy a gift.
234
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,538
And then if you feel weird about
it, you can get a gift receipt
235
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,905
or you can switch the tags
on the present table.
236
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,291
Sometimes I do that.
Cute jammies.
237
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,669
-Yeah, thanks.
-Do you want to go shopping?
238
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,536
-Now? Uh...
-Yeah.
239
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,344
So, how do you like
your sessions?
240
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,417
You like a little chitchat?
241
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,633
Do you want to talk
about the new season
242
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,012
of The Real Housewives
of Atlanta?
243
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,049
I don't know that show.
244
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,222
You know what,
245
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,549
it's too much
to catch you up on.
246
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,014
But, uh, we can do this thing
where you tell me
247
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,474
all your problems
and I don't say anything,
248
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,024
and that's called "hair-apy."
249
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,807
I'll take quiet. Thank you.
250
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,900
Got it.
251
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,774
-How's Samantha?
-Huh?
252
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,574
Samantha. How is she?
253
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,527
Is she still... at Brit's?
254
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,607
Is she with the boyfriend?
255
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,743
Got it. All right.
That's why you came to see me.
256
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,910
Sam is...
257
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,580
First of all, she's safe.
258
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,118
She is still employed.
259
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,751
And she seems pretty happy.
260
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,078
She's happy?
261
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,753
In what ways is she happy?
262
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,461
Maybe you should call her
for more information.
263
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,211
I don't think she will pick up.
264
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,968
I'm going to Friends
and Family meetings.
265
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,468
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
266
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,550
Yeah.
267
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,104
I'm gonna fix whatever it is
268
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,848
everyone thinks is wrong
with me. (chuckles softly)
269
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,599
I don't know
270
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,691
how to repair things
with Samantha.
271
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,817
For example,
272
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,685
it appears it was a mistake
to read her Fourth Step.
273
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,822
Did you know about that?
274
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,819
The diary thing?
275
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,320
Technically, no.
276
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:17,031
It is a list of your resentments
that you write out
277
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,913
so you can let them go.
278
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,330
Sounds like you really know
what's up.
279
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,868
I do now.
280
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,998
I don't...
281
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,999
think she's going
to let me make that right.
282
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,553
What do you think that'll take?
283
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,417
One of us has to apologize.
284
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,974
I...
285
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,508
guess that's me.
286
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,849
Do you agree with that though?
287
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,808
Because it really is
a two-way street.
288
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,558
Listen, Carol, you screwed up.
289
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,981
It was your fault, you know?
290
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,729
And sometimes, as a mom,
291
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,070
you just got to learn
to take the "L."
292
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,526
What's the "L"?
293
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,106
The loss.
294
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,241
(inhales sharply)
295
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,992
And that's enough haircut
for today.
296
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,031
Oh.
297
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,954
I didn't do the...
298
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,793
-You got my cape on!
-(door opens)
299
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:04,708
(door slams)
300
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,960
♪ ♪
301
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,384
And these are made from ostrich.
302
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,841
Oh. Do you know
how the ostrich was raised?
303
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,142
I assume like any other ostrich.
304
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,045
That's not good enough.
305
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,682
That could mean anything.
306
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,679
I kind of, uh, thought
307
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,851
this would be more of,
like, a mall situation.
308
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,140
What the hell are you gonna buy
a baby at the mall? (scoffs)
309
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,064
(chuckles)
Right. Yeah. Silly me.
310
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,112
No, don't get me wrong.
311
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,895
I have nothing against malls.
312
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,189
I love anywhere people shop.
313
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,442
It's just older stuff
has better energy.
314
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,034
There's life in it.
315
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,199
When I buy something
wrapped in plastic, it's like,
316
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,158
-"Do you want
to put a gun to my head?" -No.
317
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,448
But you get it.
318
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,621
Right?
319
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:45,409
Like, this is a liminal space.
320
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,213
It's... sacred.
321
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,367
It's transformational.
322
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,714
It's...
323
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,209
mm, shamanistic.
324
00:11:58,635 --> 00:11:59,675
(humming)
325
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:00,677
(grunts)
326
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,098
So, let's talk
about your sobriety.
327
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,268
Here?
328
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,766
Yeah. No one's listening.
329
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,308
The flow of people here,
it's like a river.
330
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,562
We're just two little frogs
basking on the bank.
331
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,614
I'd really rather do this
where there aren't
332
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,068
Dust Bowl baby dolls
staring at me.
333
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,568
Do you want my help or not?
334
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,399
Look, it's just a story.
335
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,454
It's probably not even
that good.
336
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,527
-I mean, it's not not good.
-Look,
337
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,992
I am going to need you to
tell me something interesting.
338
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,834
That's why I got into this game.
I mean, if you're just
339
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,209
a boring person,
we might not be a match.
340
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,457
-I'm not a boring person.
-Okay.
341
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,378
-I'm not.
-Great.
342
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:32,536
All right, fine.
343
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,803
Get this-- I just ditched
a 24/7 funeral
344
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,507
so I could try to bang my ex,
345
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,297
who has less than a year sober.
346
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,680
And he turned me down anyway.
347
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,047
And then, when that didn't work,
348
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,643
I took a 40-minute Uber
to my other ex,
349
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,309
who is currently going through
a divorce with my best friend.
350
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,268
Yeah. And I'm living on
her couch right now. For free.
351
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,190
'Cause I had to move out
of my mom's house, 'cause she's
352
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,688
a crazy person.
And I have a boyfriend
353
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,530
who's none of the people
that I just mentioned.
354
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,645
And we're in a fight.
355
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:57,741
So...
356
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,315
(mimics explosion)
357
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,570
-Yikes.
-What should I do?
358
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,702
I don't know.
What do you think you should do?
359
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,029
-I don't know.
-I don't either.
360
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,873
-It's confusing.
-Isn't this your job?
361
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,368
I think it's your job, actually.
362
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,660
What do you want to do?
363
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,583
I don't know.
Do you think I should, like,
364
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,501
tell my boyfriend
about everything that I did?
365
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,500
If I knew, I would tell you.
But I'm not Brené Brown.
366
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,302
-Well, should I tell my friend?
-Why?
367
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,336
Because you're afraid that
she'll kick you off her sofa?
368
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,299
-Okay, so I shouldn't tell her.
-Well, I'm not saying that.
369
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,430
I mean, would you rather
that your friend hear it
370
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,637
-from the guy?
-Okay, so I should tell her?
371
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,926
Honey, I don't know.
372
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,470
I'm literally just, like,
looking at boots. (gasps)
373
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,694
Oh, my God, Sam.
374
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,095
-A bag of spells.
-Mm!
375
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,563
Babies love that shit.
376
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,693
-Oh, wow.
-Such a good gift.
377
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:35,729
Yeah.
378
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,936
Wait, what?
379
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,532
SAMANTHA:
Nothing-nothing happened.
380
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,147
He was classic Joel
about all of it.
381
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,494
But I did go there to try
382
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,238
to make something happen,
if that makes sense.
383
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,530
No. It doesn't make sense.
384
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,454
You tried to hook up with Joel,
385
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,162
but you didn't,
386
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,122
so, ultimately,
nothing happened?
387
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,212
Why are you telling me this?
388
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,206
It sucks that I know this.
389
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,207
Well, I just thought that...
390
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,378
And why would you tell me
at work?
391
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,917
I just pulled a Tic Tac out
of a kid's ear.
392
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,380
This is my break!
393
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,800
Don't you have,
like, eight journals?
394
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,758
Why don't you just write
in one of those next time?
395
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,299
-That's a good idea, actually.
-And you know what?
396
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,682
I wish you had hooked up
with Joel,
397
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,388
because then I could feel good
about feeling mad.
398
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,309
♪ ♪
399
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,730
(sighs)
400
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,145
What is this corgi doing?
401
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,229
Stop.
402
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,193
(laughs)
403
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,493
Hi.
404
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,736
Hey.
405
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,317
I have the 20 bucks I owe you.
406
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,822
Ooh! Thanks.
407
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,243
It sucks
that Damian only accepts
408
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,081
traveler's checks and barters,
409
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,657
but his spells are very good,
410
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,831
-so...
-Mm.
411
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,159
-I bet.
-Hey.
412
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,254
You want to...
(clicks tongue)
413
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,288
rap about the Lord?
414
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:36,250
How'd everything go?
415
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,340
No, I don't want to sit.
416
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:38,285
It went terribly.
417
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,634
Hmm.
418
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,129
Yeah. Hmm.
419
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,670
I just really hurt my friend.
420
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,553
Damn.
421
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,010
You know, I think
what might have happened is that
422
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,011
you came to me, a human,
423
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,893
instead of consulting
your higher power.
424
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,520
-(scoffs)
-I forget, did you--
425
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,097
have you told me
what is your higher power, Sam?
426
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,942
(sighs)
427
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,727
Who or what do you talk to
428
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,821
when, you know,
you're in trouble?
429
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,726
No one.
I don't have a higher power.
430
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,404
Well, no. I mean,
you've been in the program
431
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,652
for, what, well over a year?
432
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,074
-(scoffs)
-E-Everybody's got something.
433
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,662
Yeah, well, not me. Sorry.
434
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,367
No, you have... something, Sam.
435
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,618
I know you do.
436
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,079
So what is it? I'm asking you...
437
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:16,249
My dad, okay? I...
438
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,879
think about what my dad
would tell me to do, I guess.
439
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,376
Oh.
440
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,838
Well, again, human, so...
441
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:23,839
He's dead!
442
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,680
Everyone's got a dead dad, Sam.
443
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,385
(scoffs): Are... you kidding me?
444
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,215
-Your higher power is shopping.
-No.
445
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,810
That's not what
my higher power is.
446
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,465
But that's not what
we're talking about.
447
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,563
Sam,
448
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,928
-humans...
-(sighs)
449
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,404
...people will inevitably
always let you down.
450
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,055
It is why you have
to find something
451
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,534
that is bigger...
452
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,775
than us.
453
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,856
You just...
454
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,662
Yeah, well, uh, thanks, Darby.
455
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,155
Good to see you.
456
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,447
Oh. Okay.
457
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,159
Well, slide into my DMs
or whatever.
458
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,331
-Keep coming back.
-Bye. Thank you.
459
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,075
Hi.
460
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,384
Hi!
461
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,049
Look, I'm sorry
this is a little late.
462
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:08,677
Darby insisted the baby
would like a bag of spells.
463
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,086
(chuckling):
Oh, yeah.
464
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,604
Went through a real Wiccan phase
our freshman year.
465
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,217
Honestly... (sniffs)
all that incense
466
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,273
is why I think
my voice is so deep.
467
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,057
I guess I have to give that one
to Darby then.
468
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,310
But?
469
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,942
But I'm-I'm sorry,
470
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,648
but what do you see in her?
471
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,728
I mean, if she is the sponsor
to end all sponsors,
472
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,154
why does she kind of... suck?
473
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,703
Do you think she kind of sucks
because she doesn't tell you
474
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,866
-what you want to hear?
-No, she doesn't tell me anything.
475
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,905
At least with you, it was,
you know, "Don't drink.
476
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,409
I know you want to drink.
Don't drink."
477
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,120
With Darby, all I get is,
478
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,120
"I don't know, Sam.
What do you think you should do?
479
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,672
"Oh, yeah,
that's pretty confusing.
480
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,705
What do you want to do?"
481
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,378
Sam, you have two years
482
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,876
-and Darby has... 20.
-(sighs)
483
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,299
You can trust her.
484
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,087
But don't you think
she's, like...
485
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,340
(groans)
486
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,972
You know? Does she care at all?
487
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,428
-(scoffs)
-No. Darby doesn't care about your feelings,
488
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,559
because alcohol doesn't care
about your feelings.
489
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,768
I...
490
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:03,649
I think I just really wanted to
need all of this a little less.
491
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:04,728
You know?
492
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,032
Feel normal or something.
493
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,901
Normal isn't for people like us.
494
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,204
Sam, you're a drunk.
495
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,568
I'm a drunk.
496
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,994
Everyone's a drunk drunk.
497
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,082
(chuckles softly)
498
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,657
And we all need something
499
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,412
bigger than we are
to get through this.
500
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,623
♪ Take you for granted... ♪
501
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,334
(sighs)
502
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,207
This-this better not be
a Karate Kid situation
503
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,173
where I have to clean her car.
504
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,972
'Cause I am quite sure
505
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,006
it is full of red lipstick
and Taco Bell wrappers.
506
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,219
Oh, it definitely is.
507
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,849
I get so hungry
when I'm in there.
508
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,005
-♪ All the little things ♪
-♪ Try ♪
509
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,854
-♪ To remember ♪
-♪ Try to remember ♪
510
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,519
♪ Not to sweat
all the little things. ♪
511
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,809
Carol. Hi.
512
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,443
-Here.
-My cape.
513
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,439
-Yeah.
-It's my favorite, so...
514
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,481
thank you.
515
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,994
Um...
516
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,856
I want to talk to you.
517
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,612
We have unfinished business.
518
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,914
Yeah.
519
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,447
I know you think
I probably overstepped
520
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,740
and you're not thrilled with me,
521
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,293
but, you know,
that's nothing new.
522
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,038
-What does that mean?
-I mean,
523
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,379
Sam and I weren't
the easiest kids to deal with,
524
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,995
and you've never been
my biggest cheerleader.
525
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,552
I don't... cheer.
526
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,296
Right.
527
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,928
I guess I just always thought
you blamed me for Sam.
528
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,295
I blamed you
529
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,602
for the getting home late
530
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,135
and the drinking.
531
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,638
But my daughter's an alcoholic,
532
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,810
and I know that now.
533
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,689
So I blame her.
534
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,691
No, I don't.
535
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,108
No. Mm.
536
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,226
I don't blame her,
537
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,652
because that's blame shifting.
538
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,450
Um, can I blame the disease?
539
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,236
Mm, uh, can you?
540
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,529
-I don't know.
-I don't know.
541
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,622
Doesn't matter.
542
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,078
I didn't like you when you were
a shitty little teen, Felicia.
543
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:45,289
But I respect the hell out
of you as a mother.
544
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,041
Thank you.
545
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,843
It's the hardest job
in the world.
546
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,296
Yeah, Zack almost killed me when
he was the last in his class
547
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,417
to be potty-trained.
548
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,843
(chuckles)
549
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,301
And you did it all on your own.
550
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,262
-Pretty much. Yeah.
-Mm.
551
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,852
Yeah, I know...
552
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,098
something of what that's like.
553
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,350
David went away for a while
when Sam was a baby.
554
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,024
-Oh, I didn't know that.
-Yeah.
555
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,272
He went to New York
556
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,113
and he played
with the Philharmonic
557
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,398
and, um,
was gone for months and...
558
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,908
I was not a great single mom.
559
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,538
I couldn't figure out naps
560
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,155
and the bottles.
561
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,173
And I yelled at her.
562
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,335
I once left Sam in a cart
563
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,335
at the Stop & Shop.
564
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,377
I just left her.
565
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:36,131
And the manager had to chase me
out into the parking lot.
566
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,303
This is something
you would never do.
567
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,642
I actually did that
at a CVS once.
568
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,468
You're a great mom.
569
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,523
We listen
to way too much true crime
570
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:48,017
for you to not answer
a single one of my... texts.
571
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,817
Do you want to go have dinner?
572
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,858
(exhales sharply)
573
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,250
(groans)
574
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,865
Oh, hey-- Oh.
575
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,791
-Damn it,
you are not my sandwich. -Hey, so I have
576
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,380
been beating myself up all day,
577
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,745
-and I was like,
"You know what..." -Joel.
578
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,341
-Joel.
-No, I-I have to do this. Um...
579
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,666
A thing happened with Sam.
580
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,172
Here's the thing though--
it also didn't happen,
581
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,433
-which was...
-Yeah.
582
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,795
I know.
I've already heard this today.
583
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,932
-You have?
-Yeah. Sam told me.
584
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,929
Sorry,
why do you both feel the need
585
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,010
to come here to tell me things?
586
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,184
I don't know. I-- It...
587
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,773
It feels kind of like
I'm supposed to?
588
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,518
We're divorced. We can move on.
589
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,110
Go. Fly.
590
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,815
Okay.
591
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,775
You know, the thing is though
592
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,645
you still haven't even signed
the divorce papers.
593
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,202
I'm fine to move on.
594
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,695
Just let me know
when you want to do it.
595
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,067
If you even do.
596
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,695
Sorry I wasn't your sandwich,
by the way.
597
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,162
♪ ♪
598
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,503
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599
00:20:49,553 --> 00:20:54,103
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