Original subtitles

So there's this guy who drives onto the motorway...

and a minute later he hears a scream on the radio...

"Watch out ! There's a madman on the A1 driving the wrong way !"

The guy looks around him and says: "Not just one, thousands of them !"

- Did you get that, Ferro ? - Of course.

There's this guy who thinks he's driving in the right direction,

but he's driving the wrong way.

That's right, but I meant it as a metaphor.

What sort of metaphor ?

Everyone's telling us: "You're screwing up big time",

and perhaps we are screwing up, right ?

And we keep...

- So we're going the wrong way. - You reckon ?

Ferro ?

Ferruccio ? Are you home ?

- Did we get the oil ? - Wasn't he supposed to be home ?

His moped's not outside.

Franco, he's taken his clothes, I did tell you !

Oh my God, here we go again !

Hey, Cate !

I didn't buy this, I collected points.

- Yeah, I bet. - Really, at the petrol station.

- Where are you going ? - To Ferro's, I told you.

Yeah, that's right...

Bye, then.

And don't do anything stupid.

Hey, Cate !

Bye.

Call me if you hear from him. Thanks, bye.

- Come on, it's not the first time ! - It's different this time, I can tell.

Yes, it's different. The bigger he gets, the bigger he screws up.

- What have you done ? - Hi, babes.

What's with the backpack ?

- Have you brought a backpack ? - They pissed me off.

- Did you talk to them or not ? - I tried to.

I told them I had a problem, but they started on about me getting suspended.

- So you haven't told them. - I swear I tried.

But you didn't tell them...

Forgive me, but how was I to do so ?

Then I lost my rag, they're immature.

Okay, but what now ?

Don't worry, we'll find a solution.

And where will we find this solution ?

- At your dad's place ? - I told him I was staying at yours.

- I can't go back with you now. - I was talking crap, but don't worry.

Perhaps it's about time we did start to worry.

- Guys, what have you done ? - What ?

- You're in trouble now ! - You've ruined your lives.

- Don't be stupid ! - Leave it, Martina.

I told you not to tell anyone.

I panicked when you told me, I had to get it off my chest.

- Yeah, of course... - Of course what ?

Have you thought of the consequences...

This is no time to make a tragedy out of it.

I don't want to, but just to give you an example,

we've got some Americans staying at the B&B.

What do we do now then ?

You were only staying one night anyway, weren't you ?

Yes, of course, one night.

You can sleep in the living-room, on the carpet.

- No, no... - There's a sofa too...

Your mother will see us and call my parents... no.

You have to be gone by 7 tomorrow morning.

Of course.

If my dad finds you in the car, he'll have a heart attack.

Yeah, a heart attack...

And if he doesn't have a heart attack, he'll kill me.

- I told you not to worry. - I am worrying !

I tell you what, I'll set the alarm in front of you, okay ?

7:03, okay ?

- No, I want you gone for 7 ! - Come on, 7:03.

- Thanks. - Call me, if there's any problem.

- Okay. - Here.

Shall I see if Cate has turned her mobile on again ?

- Again ? - Shall I call the police then ?

- Then they'll arrest him. - What do you mean ?

He'll be at one of those junkie parties where they smoke marijuana, weed...

Why on earth did this girl want to go out with him ?

- Franco, he's your son ! - Yes, but we have to put up with him.

But her, be honest, couldn't she have done better for herself ?

Really, babes, it's only temporary...

just for the time being, one night.

- It's not the car. - What is it then ?

I'm worried about you.

About me, babes ?

Yes, I spoke to my dad's partner, she gave me a good talking to...

she says we're about to ruin our lives.

It's a lot to cope with... the baby won't sleep, we won't sleep...

You have to feed it, it spits at you...

Just listen to her, she doesn't even have kids !

My mum had two, and she said the same thing.

Your mum too... I swear I adore your mum,

but you can't deny she can be rather pessimistic at times.

Listen, we don't have to stay together just because this has happened...

I can manage quite well on my own, you know.

I do know, but I can't.

We've ended up together in this shitty world,

and if we split up now, it would be a screw-up.

Like a head on crash.

- What shall we do, Franco ? - Let's not make a big thing of it.

You know what he's like, he may be with a friend then, at once...

he'll be back and want to know what's for lunch.

- Who is it ? - Grandpa, it's me, Ferro.

What do you want ?

I've run away from home.

To the floor above, nice one !

I need to sleep in your spare room for a couple of months, then I'll go.

The estate agent's coming, I don't want a mess.

- Have I ever made a mess ? - Haven't you ?

Apart from that pheasant, and maybe that business with the fire...

- But this time it's serious. - Is that so ?

- We'll tell your mum then. - No ! You don't get it !

- Come inside. - No !

Sweetie, come inside, please.

You'll have to stop going out with your friends, clubs...

- We've already done that. - What about uni ?

Cate, you're clever at school, you read a lot...

you can get yourself a nice job.

I wasn't going to uni,

and she can apply next year, so what's the problem ?

So there's no problem ?

Well, money, the baby's keep... it's no joke.

What about your hobbies ? Music, travelling.

It's not too late.

Cate, you can have all the babies you want when you're older.

I'm sorry, I don't want to drag anyone into this, not even Ferro...

Babes, you mustn't think you have to...

I've had surgery, and it'll be hard for me to get pregnant again

after one abortion, I want this baby.

Are you sure about that ?

There are new technologies today, we'll inquire...

Mum, please, that's enough, have mercy !

You've always underestimated me, I can manage, even with a kid.

- You can manage on your own ? - Of course !

You left your hamster to die after two weeks !

- You're comparing a kid to a hamster ? - Precisely !

- There's a big difference. - What about the fire ?

- I'd better keep my mouth shut. - And the pheasant ?

That's enough, Dad.

Bloody hell !

- Oh God, what happened ? - What have you done ?

- Franco ! - Get out of the way !

- Keep away from me ! - Signor Lino, are you okay ?

- Signor Lino ? - Dad !

- How is he ? - There's nothing wrong with his head.

- But ? - His left side, his leg...

he might need some physiotherapy, some time in a wheel chair...

- And where would he do this ? - At home.

- Good, excellent. - How are you ?

- Five stitches. - Does it still hurt ?

No, but he said it'll leave a scar.

I'm happy, then I'll remember this shitty day all my life.

Couldn't he have been gay ?

"You have a gay son." "Yes, what about it ?"

- Please... - But he's normal.

- What a deal we got ! - Please !

Of all the various possibilities, we had to...

What do we do ?

- We'll reason it through... - Reason, with Ferro ?

It's easier to talk reason with this.

We should have talked to him before, about contraception, sex...

- These male things... - So now it's my fault ?

- I didn't say that. - But you thought it.

Listen...

perhaps we can talk to Cate's parents,

I don't think they'll be happy...

Perhaps Cate's exaggerating, maybe we'll find a solution...

Maybe.

- Good evening. - Hello.

- And you are... ? - We're here to talk to Alfredo.

We're Ferro's parents.

Oh, of course, Ferro's parents... pleased to meet you, I'm Rita. Alfredo !

Pleased to meet you, come in.

Alfredo ! Come in.

- May I... - Go ahead.

Take a seat.

Sorry, I'll just move this stuff.

Alfredo ! Sit down.

Alfredo !

Ferro's parents are here.

At last ! We've been waiting. Don't get up.

- What have you done ? - I banged it... never mind.

I'm sorry to hear it. Hello.

- I brought some pastries... - There was no need.

- Would you like some coffee ? - Yes, please.

- We're out of coffee. - It was in here...

- You were going to buy some. - Me ? In your dreams.

You said you were going shopping.

- I had no money, do I steal it ? - It wouldn't be the first time.

- Listen to St. Maria Goretti ! - What about her ? She was a virgin.

Then forgive me, wrong saint.

- Would you like a herb tea... - No, don't worry about the coffee...

- It'd keep us awake anyway. - We've enough worries.

- We're very worried. - Yes.

So we thought we'd call you, we might be able to find a solution together.

I told the kids: "You're only kids, forget about it."

Except when Cate's made her mind up about something... you tell them.

- About what ? - She's pregnant.

And seeing she's already had one abortion...

Sorry, is she pregnant or has she had an abortion? There's a difference...

She had an abortion last time.

Sorry, but Cate didn't make it all up, did she, including the surgery ?

No, she might have told me, but I've forgotten...

If she was under age, someone must have signed the papers...

Oh yes, wait... that's right... I did sign something.

- Either me or her mother. - Of course.

Excuse me, don't you remember signing, going to the hospital...

No, excuse me, are you here to judge us ?

- Calm down. - No one's judging you.

We just wanted to know if the surgery was serious, because...

I had nothing to do with the surgery,

they wanted to remove some cysts, ovaries, I said to her mother...

"Romina ! This doctor is a criminal !"

- This is our daughter ! - Look...

we're not here to judge the doctor, the criminal, cysts, anything...

- You know what I mean. - No, I don't know what you mean.

Do you just allow them to come in your home to give orders ?

- Come on ! - What do you mean ?

If there's someone who doesn't know how to use condoms, that's your son !

You're lucky we haven't come knocking on your door for money.

Oh, so you should be asking us for money now...

- Forgive her, she's uptight. - Who's going to look after Cate ?

Not you, you spend all day at the betting office.

- I work there ! - Of course, great job.

You're the only one who pays your boss at month end.

I won 300 euros on a match last Saturday ! What are you talking about ?

- And where is this 300 euros ? - Do me a favour. Don't make me angry...

Well don't, you could at least have bought some coffee.

- Cut it out ! - You scrounger and beggar.

- At least pay a bill ! - Don't start on about the bills again !

Sorry, but you've no idea what he puts me through.

- Shall we have some pastries ? - Sorry, I don't feel like one.

Look, a cannolo, my favourite.

I hope you choke on it !

Here, help yourselves...

What do we do, Franco ?

What do we do ? What can we do ?

- We'll have to take them in. - Great, let's help them.

That'll make them change their mind, yeah, let's help them.

What happens if they find us a house in Tuscany ?

What do we say if we find a buyer for this one in Rome ?

To wait a month while we find a solution, eh ?

What do you want to do ? You've seen them, right ?

They're in danger of failing their final exam too,

then we'll be stuck with the house, school and a baby.

Okay, until the exam... then out they go !

Out ! He can find himself a job too.

We'll see each other on Sundays.

Take him back with you installing air conditioning.

I've told you, Maurizio can't stand the sight of him.

- Nice partner, if it weren't for you... - No, if it weren't for your son,

we'd still have Baudetti, the best customer in Rome !

- Just forget it... - Yes, okay...

SECOND MONTH

So, ferry from Civitavecchia, we'll visit Barcelona,

then make our way down the Spanish coast to Valencia...

- Or Granada. - Or both.

Then to Algeciras, and ferry to Tangiers !

- Straight there after the final exam. - What do you mean, straight there ?

We'll take luggage and car to school, when the last has taken the oral exam,

we'll leave straight away, because the ferry leaves at three.

- What will we do in Morocco ? - Tangiers first.

Then to Tazekka National park.

Where the grass is green and the hash is dark.

- Then we go with the flow... - Yeah, cool, eh ?

- Great trip ! - It's not a trip, it's a feat.

I know it's a feat, but aren't we overdoing it ?

We'll never have three months for a holiday again !

I'm not saying we shouldn't take a holiday, but you know...

- Isn't Morocco taking a risk ? - Yes, or we'd have gone to Disneyland.

It's summer, it's boiling hot and we're going to Morocco !

Do you want to go there in winter, with a scarf and snow boots ?

Come on ! Pass me that screwdriver.

I read on the Foreign Office's website

that there's an outbreak of syphilis.

You don't have to worry then, you have to screw to catch syphilis.

- About time too ! - Yes, we're at the count's service !

- You didn't take the moped ? - No, I told you, it's broken.

- It's an old wreck. - Are you leaving it here ?

Yeah, Luca's on his way, he's gone to check it out.

Come on, let's go.

Look at Grandpa ! Are you the spare tyre ?

Cut it out !

Are you coming to lunch ? Stella will be there.

- Do you remember her, Ferro ? - No, who is she ?

- Remember Big Mario, my cousin ? - Yeah.

Stella's his daughter, they came to the beach in Follonica.

- Oh, that crazy girl ! - You can talk !

She's helping us with Grandpa, she's a physiotherapist.

I don't want a mad girl and I don't need physiotherapy.

You do need physiotherapy, Lino.

Then we'll get you out of the wheelchair...

and you can go home.

Because Ferro will find himself a nice job...

and find a rented flat.

- Stella, it's nice to see you ! - Yes.

- Sorry we're late. - It's fine.

Ferro, what a handsome young man you are, I'd never have recognised you.

- Why, was I ugly before ? - No, but you're really handsome now.

- How are you, Stella ? - Fine.

- How's Dad ? - Fine, he has his vegetable patch...

- He's happy then ? - Yes, Ferro's grown.

- He's grown too much. - Why ?

- Let me tell you. - I'm about to become a father.

Well, that's wonderful news !

- With you ? Congratulations. - Thank you.

This is the best age to have kids, before you get too old.

All those couples in their forties who can't get pregnant,

then the elasticity of the body, this is the age when...

Come here, give me a hug.

You're the only one who doesn't think we're screwing up.

Screwing up ? We're the ones who have got it wrong.

When I did the physiotherapy course in Kerala,

I realised our way of thinking is a load of bullshit.

Come on, let's go inside.

Right...

Where did she do her physiotherapy course ?

In a good place, don't worry.

I thought it was only my legs and back.

Yes, but your body is connected to everything else, right ?

You can work on a big toe to treat a problem with your neck...

- Does she know what she's doing ? - She's a kinesitherapist.

- I'm scared though. - Now's not the time to be scared.

Maybe before, but now is not the right moment.

In fact, take a deep breath.

Relax now, or I'll break your neck.

- Break my neck ? - I'm joking !

But take a deep breath, because it's true, so...

One...

two and three.

Bye, guys.

I'm going to work, I'll be back at 8.

Wait, I recorded you something to study while you worked.

- What ? - I've found your thesis.

- Really ? - I think so.

Listen to it, then call me and tell me how great it is out of a hundred !

- Okay, bye. - Bye.

- Where did we get to ? - Suetonius playmaker...

- What about Cicero ? - He's a chatterbox,

so we either make him the manager or the coach,

or we can put him in midfield, in defence if we play 3-5-2.

Here you are.

- What time is it ? - Almost 3.

Has the 3rd race at Agnano been run ?

I'm very well, thank you.

Cate, I'm doing this for you and my grandchild. When's it start ?

In ten minutes, why ?

There's this guy in Calabria who's given me a tip off,

it's running at 35-1, we'll put 200 on, and win 7,000, okay ?

I haven't got 200 euros.

- Well... - Not even 100 !

I'm not asking you to lend it to me.

- Right... - We'll take it from the till.

We'll take out a loan for 20 minutes, and when we win, we'll put it back.

Because it's a certain win.

Shall I list all the trouble you've caused me ?

- Sweetie, not right now... - Don't tire yourself, Alfredo !

I'm doing the work of three men here !

Tell me who the other two are, and I'll fire them.

And put your cap on.

Can I have a word with you a minute ?

Glauco !

Radio Ferro, 15th May, 2015.

Dear Cate, I want to tell you about something that happened 20 years ago...

- Well ? - Glauco lent it me.

- He trusts me, is that strange ? - Yes.

Right, third race at Agnano. Bronzo di Riace to win.

Cate, nearly all this money is for you and the baby.

Yeah, okay.

Go on.

In 1992, a cargo ship set sail for America from Hong Kong,

and here you have History and Economy, etc.,

but a few days out at sea, the ship sunk and its cargo was lost.

The cargo, however, consisted of 28,000 plastic ducks,

and one would think: "This is the end for the poor ducks."

But no, because they floated in spite of the ocean, the wind,

and the rough seas.

And they floated around for days, months and years...

And from this one mistake, they learnt how the ocean currents move,

and pollution too.

And here you can include Science and Geography too.

But the coolest thing is that these ducks,

that were made to live inside a bath...

began to sail the world's seas, without being afraid.

And that's how we discovered that even a small duck, when it's free,

can live a great life.

That for me is poetry, Cate... and maybe even philosophy.

Fuck it !

Will you get some work done ?

Damn it !

THIRD MONTH

The essay is well written, let's go to the last question...

Valsanti's nearly finished, and the examiners are tired. It's Cate's turn.

- 20 minutes and we'll be off. Ready ? - Yes, we're ready.

- We've got the raw materials, eh ? - Are you importing weed to Morocco ?

You're joking, weed to Morocco ? That's international drug trafficking !

Marco, he's joking.

I don't think so, and you lot are capable of doing something like that.

Turn out your pockets, I don't want to end up in jail in Tangier !

Are you okay, babes ?

It's nothing, it only looks it from the outside, but it's easy.

The teachers are tired and you've studied hard.

Don't worry about it.

If I did it, you'll dazzle them, okay ?

- What's up ? What've you done ? - Excuse me a sec.

Ferro !

- Come on, it's her turn ! - Go and see what's wrong !

Okay, Marco, calm down.

- It's her turn now ! - I'm on my way.

Cate, can I come in ? They're playing for time, but...

- Have you got your period ? - No. It's not possible.

- I thought it strange. - It's a bad sign.

No ! Let's just pretend, but it's not a bad sign.

Let's pretend I'm in a hurry, but I'm not in a hurry !

Marco ! Luca, go and get the car !

- Come on, guys. - Where are you going ? The exam !

We're going to the hospital, come on !

Come on, come on ! We're only doing 10 k.p.h.

- I don't want to crash the car. - Do we want to get to the hospital ?

I want to get there in one piece.

- Have you had any other spotting ? - No, it's the first time.

- How many weeks gone are you ? - 12 or 13.

Just relax a minute, do you feel any pain ?

Do you want to have a look ?

- Where's he gone ? - Ferro !

- I'm here. - Are you hiding ?

No, don't worry...

Have you been overdoing things ? Riding on a moped ?

On a moped ? Of course not.

Is there a problem ?

- Is there a problem ? - Let's take a look.

I get it, there is a problem.

- Damn it, the key now ! - You can get dressed.

Come with me, over here.

It was a threatened miscarriage.

It's not serious, but I want to keep an eye on you.

From now on take it easy, complete rest,

no sex and no moped. You weren't using it anyway, right ?

You take this prescription... and I'll see you again soon.

Good, so we can go to Morocco.

- What ? - I was saying in Morocco...

Morocco ?

Do you care about this baby ?

- Of course. - Look at Morocco on Wikipedia then.

There, you may go.

- Thank you. - I'll see you in two weeks.

Yes, thank you.

Be careful.

- What's up, babes ? - Nothing.

Are you annoyed we can't go on holiday ?

They're old, they're scared of everything.

Forget about the holiday.

Are you annoyed it was a male doctor ?

What do I care ?

- Were you scared then ? - Yes, I was scared.

I even broke the key, what do we do now ?

- What do you mean, complete rest ? - That we can't go anywhere.

You can stay in the car, get out to eat, then get back in the car.

No, we can't do that. Cate has to take her final exam.

She can do it tomorrow, then we'll all leave together.

I'm sorry, it can't be done.

- Fly over and join us then. - We can't fly, either.

- Sorry... - He said "absolute zero".

Never mind, goodbye holiday, I'll get my backpack.

What's he saying ? Let me talk to him.

Marco !

Listen to me a sec.

Don't be stupid.

- You'll regret it in ten years. - I'm not going without you.

- I can't stand half of them. - Then stick with the other half.

I didn't want to go anyway, I only agreed so I'd be with you.

You were wrong to. Put that back.

What do you bet you'll thank me when you get back ?

I'm not taking any bets.

Of course not, or you'd have to cough up.

Don't make me think how much I'd pay to come with you.

- Don't make me say it. - Precisely.

- I'm not going if you're not going. - Why aren't you going ?

I have to help Cate, why do you have to stay ?

Precisely, you help Cate, I'll help you help Cate.

Yeah, that's right, like a chain letter !

Look at me, look at your friend.

You fool around from morning till night,

then something unexpected happens, and then it's "goodbye",

and then... You do realise life is short ?

- What the fuck are you saying ? - What the fuck am I saying ?

- Just listen to you ! - Yeah, listen to me.

I'm just someone who will see you come home happy

and I'll be jealous, I promise you.

Come here.

And when you're back in Rome you can buy me a beer.

Come on !

- Join us if everything's okay. - Yes.

Marco ! Bye.

Don't worry, eh !

Bye, guys !

And remember to take shitloads of photos.

- Do you think we can join them later ? - I don't think so, babes.

What do we care ? They're on the Ramblas, we're on the Tuscolana !

Tuscolana !

How will we get home ?

- We'll wait for the bus. - If one comes along...

Shall we swim back, babes ?

Good idea.

Look here, babes !

- Wait, I'm coming ! - Look where we are !

- You can see all of Rome down there. - You're right, it's lovely, but wait !

Come on !

- Are you going to swim all the way ? - You're not complaining, are you ?

If you like the cotto floor, we'll leave it down...

- This isn't Tuscan cotto, though. - It's 100% Tuscan cotto.

We'll connect the chimney to the heating.

Let me show you something nice.

- Oh, well... - Look at this treasure.

Imagine it all done up.

You can open it all up.

I'm obsessed with having a huge kitchen like in the olden days.

- A long table... - Excuse me a second.

Hello ? Ferro, speak up, there's no signal here.

Listen, Mum, where's the spare key to Grandpa's house ?

- You've got it. - No, Dad had it.

Dad's got it, you were going to have a copy cut.

Mum, you're wrong, it wasn't up to me.

What's happened ? Why haven't you left ?

Morocco's off.

- What's off ? - No, we're not going to Marcocco's.

Marco Marzocco, aka Marcocco, don't you remember ?

- Maybe you remember "Mr. Anxiety". - Ferro, what's going on ?

Listen, things are a little...

with Cate too... but we've nearly sorted it out.

It'll look really bad with the estate agent.

Who cares, we have to go back, he's lost his keys.

- What do you mean, lost his keys ? - He's lost them.

I've told him a thousand times to have copies made.

He did, but he's left them in the house.

- I told you he was an idiot ! - No...

Goodness knows what they'll do when the baby comes along.

Just you wait.

For once when we were here in Tuscany on our own...

Listen, you and me, can't we have three days on our own,

enjoying ourselves, in the open air ?

No, we have to get back because they've lost their keys.

- I know, but... - I was going to my uncle's in Siena.

I promised him, he'll die and I haven't seen him.

Do we just abandon them ? Cate can't move.

Doesn't Ferro have a pair of legs ?

He can take care of it, damn it ! You'd think it was our baby.

- I want to go back to Rome... - I'll tell you what we'll do !

You can calm down, they're old enough to manage on their own.

And we're staying here, okay. That's final.

Franco, you do what the fuck you want, I'm going back to Rome.

Come on, Dad !

FOURTH MONTH

Just look at them !

It looks like Ostia.

If you dive in the sea at Ostia you'll crush 300 people.

It's really cool, look, you can even see the fish.

Hi, Ferro !

- Stupid. - Look, this is great.

You've always hated these fake exotic places.

Of course, but they're fake here and real there.

- Hey, Lazarus ! - Quiet, that madwoman's looking for me.

- She's got you back on your feet. - I'm shitting myself with fear.

- Look here. - Look at him in a turban !

- What a loser ! - They're having fun !

I'm looking for Lino, have you seen him ?

Grandpa ? I haven't seen him, why don't you look...

downstairs, or maybe he's gone out...

I'll go downstairs and look for him.

- Yes. - Poor thing.

There he is, Lino !

And to think we organised this holiday, and look what happened !

Forget it, I said it was suicide to look at them.

- Yes, you're jealous. - Me ? I'm fine, look at me.

- I'm having fun, you're having fun... - Yes, watching them...

He's too uptight, too tense.

- Has he always been like this ? - Not really.

It must be old-age.

- I'll dump him in his room, okay ? - Yes, go ahead.

- He's okay, isn't he ? - Of course, he's fine.

- I'll try charas next time. - Try what ?

Charas, weed. The good kind, the doughy kind...

Jonathan brought me a stick like this, from India,

we were going to smoke it together but I reckon he got arrested.

If you want to try some, call me and we'll smoke it together.

- Thanks. - Okay, bye, guys.

- I think I'll call Glauco. - You want to go back to work ?

What else can I do ?

After all that's happened, you're going back to work ?

That was a month ago, I'll be sat down and they have air conditioning.

Why bother ? You said you'd be back in September.

It's best if I go back earlier, then I'll get maternity leave.

You really do have a unique way of spoiling poetic moments !

What poetic moments, this one ?

You wanted to spend August on your own, and look where I've brought you.

- We're all alone here. - Of course, who'd come here ?

Apart from rats.

You're an idiot, an idiot !

What are you talking about ? He'd have caught on anyway.

Yes, but after he'd renewed my contract.

Now you can pay me six months' maternity leave.

I'll give you my 42-inch TV. You can sell it.

- Ask Rita to give you the money. - Forget about Rita.

- Is she dumping you, too ? - She, dumping me ?

I have to push women away !

You're the only Italian to be dumped by a Romanian woman !

- After she got her citizenship. - Don't be stupid !

She's gone back home to look for a proper job.

Listen to me, darling,

I've a friend who has a removals firm, he said he'll take me on.

I need this money to buy my driving licence, then we'll be okay.

- Do you buy driving licences now ? - Yes, if you find the right person.

You know all the right people. Yet you're always broke, how come ?

- Stop this, I'm your father. - Explain it to me.

- Have some respect for your father. - Tell me.

So the problem's the renewal of your contract ?

- Yes. - We'll get it renewed then !

- Come on, I'll talk to Glauco. - Perfect.

But calm down, kid.

- When my contract is renewed. - I'll do the talking.

Glauco...

Excuse me, why won't you renew my daughter's contract ?

Because she's pregnant, she'll work 3 days then go off on maternity leave,

and I'll have to hire someone else and pay their national insurance too,

as well as another wage, do you think that's fair ?

Er, no.

- Except she's not pregnant. - She's not ?

I just said it for something to say...

You told me a lie so I would lend you some money...

Glauco... yes !

I'm sorry.

- You're fired, too. - What, sorry ?

- You're fired. - No.

- Yes. - No, because it's not right.

- It is right. - You mean just like that ?

I know when it's right to fire someone.

When it's right ? Are you the boss now ?

- Quieten down. - Get your hands off.

- Because if I lose my temper... - You can find it again.

- I don't give a damn. - Just thank my daughter and her baby.

So there is a baby ? You were shitting me then ?

- There is a fuckin' baby ! - Get out and piss off !

Can't a pregnant girl work then ? People have rights.

Nelson Mandela, go fuck yourself !

- I'll throw this at you ! - I'll kill you.

I've found the solution, babes.

- What have you done ? - Filled up the pool.

I'm tired, I'm going to lie down.

What, don't you like it ?

I thought if Mohammed can't go to the sea...

Cate ! I liked the idea, but if you don't, I'll remove it.

It'll take me five minutes.

Cate !

What's up ?

Radio Ferro, there's a whale beached up on the bed.

- I repeat... - I'm not a whale and I'm not in the mood.

- How did it go with your dad ? - Badly, as usual.

- What about Glauco ? - Even worse.

- Are you feeling miserable ? - Of course, look at the mess we're in.

- What do you mean ? - We've no money and no home.

We do have a home, for now.

Yes, until they sell it.

I wanted a nice quiet family, not like my dad who keeps changing his.

Don't worry, we'll find a solution. Touch "iron".

- Come on ! - But you did touch iron.

- What do you plan to do ? - What do you mean ?

Will you let your parents pay your keep, or find a job ?

It's still summer and there's a financial crisis out there !

- Ask your father for a job then. - I've told you, he doesn't want me !

It wouldn't be a crime if they helped out for once.

That won't solve anything.

Cate, objectively speaking...

they were born during the economic boom,

they ran up debts and wasted all the money and we have to pay it back ?

- Yeah, let's fight between ourselves. - It's not that, babes,

but we've gone from the class struggle to the generation struggle.

Please yourself, tell it as you wish.

This is a little leg...

This is a little foot, can you see it ?

I'll show you its heart now.

Can you hear it ?

Yes, but what's it doing, is it running around in there ?

- It's normal at this stage. - Are you sure ?

- It's quite normal. - It seems rather in a panic.

- Don't be scared. - Okay, I'll trust you.

- Do you want to know what sex it is ? - Yes.

I can't see anything in here.

Of course you can ! Ferro, come on !

Oh God, it's a monster ! It's horrible !

- She's horrible, you mean. - Why ?

Can't you see there's nothing between her legs ? Look.

Oh God, I feel sick, please, you look.

Come on, Ferro, look !

Are you crazy ? You go, I trust you.

Tell me later, I'm going back up, because I'm starting to feel sick.

- You don't like any of them ! - Well you don't like Maria !

It's old-fashioned, all grandmas are called Maria.

- Unless you mean marijuana... - Yeah, I'd call my kid marijuana.

You see what you're like ? I'm open to anything.

I've even researched some more sophisticated names.

- Such as ? - Tiffany, Lourdes.

I don't want any fancy names.

- I'd rather call her "Shit". - No, I beg you.

- Shit... - That's awful !

- Come to Mummy, "Shitty". - That's enough !

I can't bear to hear that talk about my daughter.

- Then stop talking crap. - I was only joking.

Our daughter must have a name that sounds like a magical word,

so that when times get hard, she can fly over this disastrous world of ours.

She has to be light, to float, she has to be...

like a feather, that's it... we should call her Piuma, feather.

- Piuma, are you crazy ? - Why ?

- Piuma, what kind of a name is that ? - It just came to me...

You're such a poet, you're so sexy when you do that.

Let's make another one straight away, come on.

- Let's make another one. - There's a problem.

The idea of going in there, just a few centimetres away from a baby...

it's off-putting, you know me, I'm sensitive.

- What if I hit her ? - Come on, Ferro !

The gynaecologist said we have to be careful.

Come on, what a pain you are !

It's damp ! It's damp !

- Come back to bed. - Feel it.

I don't want to feel anything, I want to sleep.

How can you set up a paddling pool in the living-room ?

I wanted to repair the hole in the bathroom he made somehow !

It's just not possible !

Look...

- You heard that. - No, I didn't hear a thing.

- There's nothing... - Then get your ears looked at.

My God, the other day the estate agent brought...

two clients who wanted to buy the place, they were convinced...

He opened the door to find him sitting in the pool: "Good morning".

The estate agent looked at me as though we were a circus act !

I wanted to sell the house to buy one in Tuscany, but no !

I know, I tell you, I'm going to die in Rome !

I have to die here in Lazio.

I'm going up there, damn it !

- Franco, that's enough, sit down. - I'll pop that paddling pool !

Calm down, we're having dinner with Cate's parents on Saturday.

- What ? - Cate promised to remove the pool.

And we're all agreed, Franco.

You're all agreed, you agreed it with them, not with me.

I try and see the kids' point of view.

You try and spoil them and you do a good job.

I'm trying to create a normal situation.

Normal ? That's precisely where the misunderstanding lies.

I think we see things a lot differently.

- Do you know why we're in this mess ? - Why ?

Because every stupid thing your son did, you wanted to discuss it.

- Talk about it, discuss it. - Of course.

I don't say we should have given him a nice slap in the face...

but with the teacher how could he do that ?

But at least be stricter with him, once every so often !

Give me an example of when he needed it.

- Right now, for example. - Well done, that's a great idea.

Right now that they're expecting a baby.

I don't care, I don't want anything to do with this business.

Good, go and sleep somewhere else.

- Oh, sorry... - God, Stella ! What're you doing here ?

I finished late, he was uptight, and I missed the last bus.

- Don't get up. - We've got therapy tomorrow,

so I'll already be here. And he really needs it.

If I hadn't given him a crotch massage tonight, he wouldn't have settled.

Yes, of course.

- Sorry, what did you give him ? - A hand-job !

Yes, of course.

- Sometimes it's the only way. - Yeah, eh ?

I heard you and Carla having an argument.

No, we were just chatting.

- Are you tense ? - Me ? No, not at all.

Come on, there's room for both of us here if I take the cushion away.

Look, Stella, I'll stay here.

I'll stretch my legs out and I'll be fine over here.

- Are you sure ? - Yes, yes.

Good night.

SIXTH MONTH

- What's taking you so long ? - I look like a fat nun.

Try this one on, look.

- That's for when you're breastfeeding. - Not for when you want a quickie ?

- Are you having it then ? - No.

I'll wait outside for you.

- Hey, pal ! - Hey, where did you get to ?

They took my backpack apart, they inspected my shoes...

This is Mike and Jenny from Bristol.

Noman...

- And Pilar, from Buenos Aires. - "Bella bro".

What ? "Bella bro" ?

- Hey, "li mortacci tua !" - Who taught her that ?

- And this is Catalina. - Ferruccio, nice to meet you.

Let's go, I've parked the minibus "in the ass of the moon", Marco.

Nice, aren't they ? They want to see Rome.

You could have told me,

I can't fit seven people in Dad's van. If we're caught...

Ferruccio Pardini is worried about a fine !

You've turned into a right family man !

And what have you done ? Have you suddenly woken up ?

You've even managed to take the plane back.

Four mini bottles of rum...

then I said to myself: "If I have to die, then I'll die".

You did well, that's a great strategy.

Does she speak Italian ?

No, but be careful, because she speaks Spanish, so...

I wanted to know about the French girl in the photo...

We split up, or rather, she dumped me.

We were in Essauoira near the sea and she said

she didn't feel like it any more, so we had a last one and...

- You did it one last time ? - Yes, then said goodbye.

Well done ! You're amazing !

Where did you find this one then ?

She was with a group of Spanish guys who had a converted double-decker.

- Converted what ? - Double-decker.

Those red buses on two levels, like a camper van, but huge...

Yeah, I know. Cool.

Catalina and Pilar sing in a cover band in Barcelona.

They're amazing singers.

You've no idea, I'll ask them.

Will you sing me a song ?

- One song. - Come on, for Ferro !

Wow, they're really good.

You look too relaxed. Just too relaxed.

- Was it the weed in Morocco ? - No, something else.

How was your summer ?

You made me feel like going travelling too !

Next year, I'm telling you now, I want no excuses.

You too, you have to come and see me in Barcelona.

- See you where ? - In Barcelona.

- Why Barcelona ? - Catalina has a spare room.

She said I can stay with her, I'll study and find a little job...

And leave everything behind ?

When will I get another opportunity like that ?

By the way, this is the beer I owe you, brother.

- Do you remember ? - Of course.

I wouldn't have left if it hadn't been for you.

That's right, Marco, I'm really happy for you.

I'm really very happy for you.

You're not upset, are you ?

Because you're moving to Barcelona ? No, I'm cool.

- Don't be a fool, eh ! - Of course not. I'd tell you.

You know what ? Come with Cate and the baby.

- Yes. - You can do that, right ?

Come on.

Come on.

No, I'll join you later.

I'll join you later, I promise.

Come on, I'll join you later.

No, look, you've got the wrong person.

Forget it, really...

"Perdona", I've got an incoming call, see ? "Perdona."

Cate, as soon as you hear this message, can you ring me back ?

I need a "motivational" call.

Don't worry, it's just a little ninja test of fidelity.

Go inside, get another drink, say goodbye and leave.

You can do it.

You can do it.

You can't do it.

You can't do it.

Hello, Stella ? Hi, it's me, Ferruccio. Ferro.

How are you ?

Listen, do you remember that time you told me...

That's right, you get the idea.

Great, I thought I could call by, and we can smoke a joint together.

Geez, this stuff really knocks you out.

- It's good, eh ? - Really good.

- Charas. - Really ?

You can tell.

I'll wait a few minutes for the rain to stop, then I'll go home.

You're not in the way.

- Are you sure ? - Relax.

- Are you sure ? - Yes.

You know, it's been a trying evening.

A really brutal evening.

With "Mr. Anxiety", the Argentinean girl...

And I've had this "brick" on my shoulders for months.

It's hard battling it out every day, you might not think so, but...

You need to relax.

You have to let yourself go, take a deep breath...

Yes, breathe...

Let myself go.

Listen, I was looking at these...

- Whose are they ? - What ?

All this "collage"...

They're by a video artist, a friend of mine.

But are they yours, I mean is it you ?

Yes, of course.

They look perfect in the photos, but...

But ?

- Haven't you noticed ? - What ?

- They're different. - Really ?

Look, one's bigger than the other.

- They don't look like it. - Because I'm sitting like this...

but if I sit like this...

Look.

- I'm looking, but... - One's bigger than the other.

- No, they're not. - Look !

There's got to be 150 grams difference.

You say there's a difference of 100 grams ?

- Which one's bigger ? - How would I know ?

Then look...

- This one... - Yes.

And this one.

Be honest.

I am usually used to giving my honest opinion.

So ?

I don't know, you've planted a doubt in my mind...

I'm not sure, so I'll try with both hands.

Check it out.

I think they're fine... geez !

They're okay, they're nice.

Nice...

They're amazing.

They're fantastic.

- Hi, babes. - Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing ?

- I said, what are you doing ? - Going to brush my teeth.

- And not changing ? You're soaked. - No, my wisdom tooth hurts.

You don't have a wisdom tooth.

Really ? It must be this other one then, because it's aching...

Why weren't you answering your phone ?

- What ? - Why didn't you answer your phone ?

I called you, I left you a message.

I called you ten more times after that.

- You know my phone freaks out. - And why are you back so late ?

- Why ? - Yes, why ?

- Because... - Because ?

I had to give her a lift back.

- Who ? - Marco.

Marco ? You had to give "her" a lift back ?

Come on, it's a minor pronoun switch !

It happens... and then...

- Come on ! - Ferro ?

Are you telling me a load of lies already ?

- What do you mean ? - Well, are you ?

- Am I what ? - I don't know.

Marco's back and he got me into this strange situation...

- Okay, then what ? - Nothing, we were late back.

Because you were taking this girl back...

- And you screwed her. - Screwed her ? Don't be stupid !

- I didn't screw anyone. - So ?

- I didn't screw anyone ! - So what ?

What did you do ? Nothing ? You didn't do anything ?

- Look at you. - She gave me a peck on the lips...

She barely touched me,

like when someone gets it wrong when greeting you...

- No, I don't know. - Come on, you do, babes !

I felt so dirty, baby.

I swear, I felt really dirty,

in fact as soon as I came in, I went to the bathroom.

That's terrible, poor thing... horrible.

A really awful experience.

- Please don't be like that. - No, I'm sorry...

I've apologised, I'm sorry, what can I do ?

- Nothing, what can you do ? - Don't be like this !

There's no need, it was only a little kiss, it meant nothing.

- Of course... - And I was a little drunk too...

Will we only kiss each other for the rest of our lives ?

No, for the rest of our lives ?

That's going a bit too far, it's exaggerating.

What do you mean, exaggerating ?

Did I say something wrong ?

You won't take your revenge with the first guy you meet ?

I don't know, we'll see.

Darn it, for a peck on the lips...

Yeah, of course, on the lips.

Tomorrow your parents are coming to dinner...

What about it ?

- We'd better make friends. - Why ? No.

- Tomorrow morning then ? - No.

The day after that ?

- The day after the day after then ? - Ferro, go to sleep.

I think he's got lost, the streets all look the same around here,

I get lost too, sometimes.

- That's Alzheimer's. - It happens to me, too.

- That's the joints. - Yeah, you never make a mistake.

If only I didn't !

I must have made a lot of mistakes if we're in this mess !

There, that'll be him now.

He's here at last, thank goodness.

Hi, Carla, sorry I'm late.

- Don't worry. - Here I am, I'll put this here.

I'm really sorry.

- Franco, I'm really sorry. - Good evening.

Rita apologises again, she's got a little problem...

We had a bit of turbulence.

I brought this, it doesn't look much but it's excellent.

They make it... in Alassio.

I don't know why they don't invest in a decent label,

if you put this in a bottle, it'd cost you 10 euros.

- Hello, Grandpa Lino, I'm Alfredo. - Nice to meet you.

Sorry, we've started, I can heat yours up.

This is great, thanks.

Thanks... here we are.

Carla, it's really moving !

Really, eh !

How did you get those scratches ? Were you in a fight ? Did someone hit you ?

It's a long story...

- Do you need a plaster ? - There's no need, really.

That's not the problem, it's that now...

I have to find a place to sleep tonight...

but I'll find somewhere, I have lots of contacts.

- Stay with us, what's the problem ? - Of course, what's the problem ?

He got himself dumped, and now we have to take him in.

- I was only saying... - Yeah, only saying, only doing....

When will you grow up ?

I'll give you a hand, Cate.

- I'm sorry, Alfredo, I did try. - Don't worry, she's right.

But you're bleeding, if you need to disinfect it...

Is the bathroom through there ?

Yes, there's some hydrogen peroxide in a drawer...

All I need is some wet toilet paper to dab it with and...

Dad, please, keep calm.

- Where's he gone ? - To the bathroom.

- Is he sick ? - Don't exaggerate.

- Shall we eat this tiramisù ? - Wait until he comes back.

Yeah, we haven't been waiting long... right.

- Alfredo ! - That's fabric softener !

He's drunk it, Franco !

You wretch, coming to die in my home !

- Take it easy... - Grandpa !

Take a deep breath, signor Lino !

I want to know what I've done wrong in life !

Hello ? Hello ?

Yes, hello, I need an ambulance.

- Two ! Two ! - Two ambulances !

I'm really sorry.

- Don't worry. - He hasn't done it in a while.

- Have you told Rita ? - I sent her a message.

- What did she say ? - It's his fourth fake suicide attempt.

The fourth ?

Then he'll have to stay upstairs with you for a bit.

There !

- How is he ? - He's awake.

- He still needs to come round... - But he's okay ?

He's still a little... did he say he'd dreamt Maraschi had scored ?

He's okay, he's okay...

SEVENTH MONTH

Lino, come out, please.

Lino ?

Have you finished ?

These people want to look at the bathroom too.

Don't worry, we've seen the house, we don't need to see...

But the bathroom's important, he'll come out now.

Lino, listen to me...

if you don't open the door, I'll get angry, okay ?

- What's going on ? - Lino's shut himself in the bathroom.

I've told you a hundred times to remove the key from this bathroom !

We took the keys off him, he must have found them somewhere.

Lino, you've started walking again, right ?

We hired Stella to work on you and make you better.

- I don't want to get better. - Don't be stupid !

Come here, get him out of the toilet or we'll end up in a loony bin !

Excuse me, just a minute...

Dad ?

I want to go to the NHS, I want a normal doctor !

A normal doctor ? I'm better than a normal doctor.

Open this door, Lino, please.

Open the door, because if get angry, I might just hurt you !

Open the door or I'll smash it in !

Open this fucking door !

Open this door, Lino !

Calm down, for God's sake !

What are you doing ? If you lose your marbles, we've no hope !

What's the problem, Stella ?

Has he said something ? What has he done ?

Sorry, it's just that he keeps locking himself in everywhere.

- Yes. - I have to chase him everywhere.

And I start to panic, it must be my hormones,

because I'm pregnant and they told me that maybe...

You're pregnant ?

- Yes. - But that's wonderful !

- Think so ? - Yes !

You too ? Congratulations.

- How long ? - A month.

- That's wonderful ! - Sorry, what's happened ?

This lady's pregnant.

Good... good.

- Omelette ? - I'm not hungry.

- You, Dad ? - Yes, please.

I told you to give her a rise.

What's that got to do with it after all that's happened ?

- He did everything to get rid of her. - So it's my fault she stopped coming ?

- No, it's my fault. Sorry. - What do we do then ?

First of all get rid of that idler you dumped us with upstairs.

He nearly killed himself.

If he really intended to, he'd have drunk bleach, not fabric softener.

It was all a sham, and you fell for it.

He's been wandering around in his underwear for 3 weeks.

And then tell me why when two potential buyers came,

you told them there may be a hole in the roof

and it needs repairing because it's leaking. Tell me why.

I don't want to sell any more, things have changed.

Yes, they've changed in a big way.

All you think about is your son and that girl.

"That girl" is your grandchild's mother. You're the one who's selfish.

- I'm the one who's selfish ? - Aren't you ?

I'm thinking of myself after 30 years of working hard in this mess of a city,

I want to live a quiet life in Tuscany, we've discussed it over and over.

Yes, because your son wanted to attend Siena University.

Things have changed, we're expecting a grandchild.

I don't want to live 200 kms away, I want to see her.

Don't worry, you will see her, you'll see them every week.

Because they'll want a hot meal, and can't even use the stove.

- We decided to sell, right ? - Yes.

Then why do you always have to make the decisions ?

- Because they're not your flats. - Half of this is mine...

Yes, but you won't get much for it, it's very damp in winter.

You know what ? We'll divide it up, and go our separate ways.

- Is that so ? - Yes.

- Great. - Come on, let's calm down.

I want half of this place, I renovated the bathroom and kitchen.

Right, we'll start by cutting it in two then.

Dad, put that glass down, let's go out for a walk,

because Franco's buying a saw so he can saw the walls in two.

Yeah, that's right, I will.

Yes ?

- Hello, Dad. - Hello.

You're settled in here, eh ?

- Have you changed your address ? - Are you shitting me ?

Dad, seriously, do you want to have a shower at my place ?

- Have a lie down on the bed ? - What is it, Ferro ?

Nothing, just something's happened...

Is it serious ?

Quite serious...

I've recorded it on my phone because I know what I'm like...

I'm not very good live.

- Radio Ferro's better. - But these gadgets...

Dad, it's easy, I'll press play, there.

Radio Ferro, 5th October, 2015.

Listen, tell me in your own words, come on.

I went to pick Marco and the English and Spanish guys up, right ?

- How do I know ! - You lent me your minibus !

- I lent it you ? - About six weeks ago, remember ?

- About six weeks ago ? - Yes, but that's not the point.

It's not ? Let's hear it then.

They got in the minibus and we went to a party.

There were a lot of people at the party, and music, alcohol, so...

I ended up dancing with this Argentinean girl, okay ?

- Have you got that, Dad ? - I don't know, you tell me...

But that's not the point.

That's not ? Then tell me what the point is.

- I said, "samurai fidelity ordeal". - Meaning ?

That I held out, I picked up my phone and called Cate, who didn't answer...

But I was smart, I had this plan,

I went to see Stella, to smoke a few joints of charas.

At this point I can tell you, also because that's not the point...

That's not the point ? What is the point then ?

Dad, I don't know what it was...

The pillows, the charas joints, the boobs hanging from the walls...

And I started to feel the screw-up calling me,

it was calling me over and over,

and I jumped in with both feet.

- Jumped in where ? - I admit it was stupid.

I know it was stupid but...

I'm not with you, will you tell me what you've done ?

We did it.

The charas thing, the joints, this thing here...

- Come on, you know what I mean. - No, I don't.

Come on, you do.

I had sex with Stella.

Stella, the Argentinean girl ?

No, not the Argentinean girl, Stella... Stella.

Not our Stella ? Not her !

Yes, Dad, Stella, Stella.

- So you mean... - I know, I couldn't help it.

Holy Mary !

I know, I could kick myself, please.

Don't you start now, I beg you.

- Do you want to see me dead ? - No, Dad...

Look me in the eyes and just say it, "Dad, kill yourself !",

I'll throw myself in front of a car, a lorry, a train,

anywhere you want, as long as this tragedy comes to an end !

I know, but this is the "demon" chasing after me.

No, after me, not you !

This is the demon, a jinx.

One bang and she gets pregnant, right ?

It has to be the demon's work.

Look at the state I'm in now.

- No, look at the state I'm in ! - What do I do ?

Do I tell Cate ?

Don't tell Cate and don't tell your mum,

and you know what, you shouldn't have told me either.

And next time something happens,

only tell me bullshit, from now on.

Like you always have done, like at school:

"Dad, everything's fine", when you had a 5-day suspension.

- Not that again ! - Only tell me bullshit.

The bullshit you usually get up to !

- Okay. - The nice healthy kind.

- I know, but... - That fills you with joy !

- That's all, nothing else ! - Okay.

Two out of two...

I don't believe it !

- Shall I go and talk to Stella ? - Yes, you'll have to talk to her.

I have to.

I'm getting used to it by now.

- Thanks a lot, Dad. - No, thank you.

Thank you, really.

- Thanks. - Thank you, really.

When you need a shower, just knock, I'm always there.

Bye.

Are you looking for someone ?

Yes, Stella Pardini, is she in ?

She went to stay at a friend's by the sea.

The beach ?

She said she wanted a break, she was acting a little strange.

- Where's she staying ? - In Santa Marinella.

- About 80 kms away, right ? - Yes.

Where in Santa Marinella ?

Lungomare, via Garbini, 13.

I see, thanks a lot, bye.

Scalabrini, Di Natale, Foglia, Albanese, Lorenzetti...

Ceccotti...

Let's try Lorenzetti.

- Yes ? - Excuse me, I'm looking for Stella,

a brunette, about 35 years old, curly hair, not too short.

- Can you tell me if... - Go away !

Nice !

- Yes ? - Brochures, can you open the gate ?

- No, I won't. - Why not ?

I need to put them in your mail box, I'm just trying to do my job.

Okay, thanks, eh !

- Thanks, nice tenants. - Hello ?

- Who's there ? - Stop messing around !

I've come all the way from Rome and you think I'm messing about ?

- You've not got brochures then. - Don't bust my balls !

- I'm calling the police ! - The police ?

Won't you help me ? Wait a minute !

Will no one open the door ? I'm in trouble.

I need you to open the door, help me !

What can I do ? Don't you realise I'm in trouble ?

- Where did you get to ? - Please, babes, don't.

I've been trying to get you all day.

- I know, I was on my moped. - All afternoon ?

Yes, everything went wrong, I even ran out of petrol.

But please don't think anything bad happened this time,

because it was a samurai ordeal !

- Screw your samurai ordeals ! - Why are you angry ?

Today I had my last scan, I've been reminding you all week.

I told you it was important and your mother had to take me.

- Do you care about this kid or not ? - Are you joking ? Of course I do !

I'm doing this for both of you.

Okay then...

What's happened now ?

Stay there, I've sorted it, I've turned the water off.

- Sorted what ? - Two tiles fell off,

and I tried to put them on again, and the pipe...

- There. - I want you out of here tomorrow.

- What, darling ? - You heard, I want you gone.

No, not tomorrow... Cate...

Give me two or three days at least...

Come on !

- He was only trying to help. - That's not the problem.

- So I'm the problem then ? - I wish !

What is it ?

We've no money, no home, because of us your parents are divorcing...

To earn some money, Mum had to go back to Romania,

your father's sleeping in a cellar, and forget about mine !

And you're a kid for cheating on me,

but I'm an even bigger kid, because I thought I would cope,

but I'm not.

Don't say that, you'll make me feel like shit,

I'm really sorry, believe me.

You do something stupid, and pay for it all your life !

Don't exaggerate now.

I'm feeling bad, you're feeling bad... so what's the point ?

Really, I'd rather kill myself. Let's forget it.

- Let's forget it. - Let's forget it.

Come on, come here.

Let's be realistic.

Piuma hasn't even been born yet, and we've already got problems.

When she's born, we'll have to change her, feed her,

stay up all night, and we can't do it.

We're not ready.

- You don't want an abortion ? - At the eighth month ?

No, you can't, what do we do then ?

We have to give her to someone.

Have her adopted.

You're being pessimistic now, but things will improve,

we'll get ourselves organised.

No, Ferro.

This is how we'll sort it out, but it's for her sake, not for ours.

So you think it's best for her ?

What do you think ?

Babes, you know, I'll always stick by you.

Come here.

It wasn't me, I didn't tell them what to do and what not to do.

In fact, I asked if they were sure, and they said they were.

I reckon this is an even more stupid decision than the first.

We can try talking to them, try and get them to see reason.

Franco, it's for the best.

But...

Really ?

Yes.

Let's go and ask Marco to recommend a lawyer who deals with these things.

We'll take the kids along with us,

then we can ask all the relevant questions.

- About a divorce too ? - Don't be so stupid.

Go and see if the washing machine has finished.

NINTH MONTH

Do we have to take all these hats ?

- Yes. - The hospital does have heating !

Yes, but when they're born, there's a big difference in temperature.

In fact, the better she's covered, the better.

Babes, look at this !

I had it made... is there any point taking it now ?

Take it, and let's hope the parents like it too.

Let's hope so.

And I'd like to choose them very carefully,

people with a kind heart, unselfish, and if they listen to crap music...

It's more important that they love her, right ?

But a vague kind of love is no use.

- Totò Riina loved his kids. - Oh God, Totò Riina !

- They'll be two respectable people. - Sure.

Know who worked at Auschwitz ? Respectable people.

Auschwitz, Totò Riina ? What's up with you ?

- I'm just saying to choose carefully. - We will.

All right.

Have you written the questions for the lawyer ?

Yes, I've written them down.

- And I've recorded a letter. - For the lawyer ?

No, for Piuma.

Then when she grows up, she can listen to it.

Stella, I've been thinking about this thing over the last few days and...

- I can't think of anything. - About what ?

You know !

Oh, that !

Don't worry, I lost it.

You lost it ? What, sorry...

I started to get worried, because of my age,

I got a bit anxious, it must have been that too.

And it's all for the best, I mean...

at one point I thought it was a nice thing, but then I said:

"Stella, you still have a lot of travelling to do..."

I haven't been to south-east Asia at all,

and you've seen what I'm like, here one day, there the next...

I never wanted a boyfriend and now I'm having a baby ?

No, because you couldn't travel any more...

Look at me, I had to stay here this summer.

- Sorry. - Stella, are you okay ?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm fine.

Can I get you a glass of water ?

Don't worry, I'm fine, it happens now and then.

- Are you sure ? - Don't worry, drink your coffee.

Come on, the lawyer said five on the dot.

- Don't worry. - He's only staying till 5:30...

Slow down, Franco, Dad's finding it hard.

Listen, Dad !

We thought maybe Alfredo could drive.

- No... - Come on, let Alfredo drive.

- He's taking his driving test soon. - Don't disturb your parents...

Today, with this problem to solve, are we giving him driving lessons ?

When will he learn, if he doesn't practise ?

- You tell him, Mum. - What does it matter ? Let him drive.

You drive, I'm anxious enough as it is.

- Shall I move back in ? - No, stay out here !

Careful does it...

- Have you got the questions ? - Yes, I've recorded them here.

Well done.

In fact, I've recorded five or six, you take a look, here.

- What is that ? - The questions for the lawyer.

Because these ducks were meant to live in a bath...

Radio Ferro 6th November, 2015. Dear Piuma...

No, sorry, that's the wrong one. Please, don't.

No, please...

- Come on, let us hear it ! - No, please, it's my letter to...

- Let's hear it. - Yes.

Dear Piuma, the most important thing I want you to know,

is that we haven't given you up for adoption because we don't love you,

we're doing it because we love you too much, maybe more than ourselves.

Over the last nine months we've realised we have a lot to learn,

that we live in a difficult country and we are a bit foolish too.

When you grow up, you'll realise why we did it,

you'll come and see us and talk to us and ask our advice.

But we'll understand if you'd rather not.

But if things sometimes seem difficult to manage,

don't be scared, because it's quite normal.

It's normal and we've all been through it.

Take a deep breath and fly lightly over this troubled world,

because your name's Piuma, and your name will keep you safe.

- That's nice. - Really nice, but...

But ?

I don't think we can give that to the lawyer.

The baby's name too, her new parents have to choose her name.

Why ?

Because they will be taking care of her, and bringing her up.

Ferro, if you were her father, wouldn't you like to choose ?

Of course, when I think about it... maybe it's only right.

Perhaps we can try and persuade them, they might like the name Piuma too.

I don't know, the court might tell you otherwise,

but I don't think you can meet the parents.

- Who chooses them ? - The court.

They have a list of people who want to adopt...

Of course, you have to protect the child first...

then you protect the parents...

Yes, it's only right.

- It's right, but pull over, Alfredo. - What ?

- Pull over and let me out. - Are you sick ?

- Why must I go to the lawyer ? - What do you mean ?

- You go. - Watch where you're going.

- Please. - What do you mean ?

There's a field here, you have to indicate...

- Don't pressure me. - Stop the car !

I want to get out, will you let me out of this fucking car ?

- Fuck off ! - Calm down !

Watch out !

- Cate, are you all right ? - I'm fine, don't worry.

- Are you okay, babes ? - I'm fine, really, don't worry.

- The little one ? - She's fine.

I swear, forgive me.

I'm sorry, everyone.

Sorry, Dad, I don't know what came over me.

Sorry, it just came over me... you know... ?

Yes, don't worry, I understand.

What shall we do ?

I don't know, what do you think ?

I think you know, eh ?

But you tell me, eh...

Shall we go home ?

Ferro, they've eased off.

They've eased off ? Okay.

- But when you think about it... - Yes ?

Perhaps we've screwed up.

We've known we screwed up for some time, eh.

Let's concentrate on this now, it's more important.

Yes, but, even when we split up...

What are you talking about ?

Not now, but it's very likely it will happen at some point.

In five, ten years' time, maybe...

Look what's happened already, just think with a daughter.

- Think so ? - Yes.

Remember when he is faced with difficulty, the samurai is happy.

- Perhaps because he's stupid. - No.

Because the proverb says that when the water rises, so does the boat.

So if the water rises, we'd better find two boats in the same area,

then it will be easier for Piuma.

Then let's get a place and share that.

Okay, then we'll have to divide the days of the week too.

But there are seven days in a week.

I'll have her for four, you three.

No, I'll tell you right now, no way !

- Seven divided by 2 is 3 and a half. - How will we do that ?

I'll come to you on the fourth day at noon, and you give her to me.

If she wakes up at 8 and you come at noon, that gives me only four hours.

- Babes, that's how... - It's not worth it !

- Wake her up before. - It'll make her bad-tempered.

- What are you talking about ? - Yes !

Wake her up earlier, and spend more time with her.

We'll discuss it some other time, because it won't work.

- What's up ? - You know what ?

I'm glad it's you I screwed up big time with.

Me too.