Original subtitles

Death is a guarantee from the day we're born.

But somehow you forget about it, figure it'll never happen.

At least not to you or the people you care about.

But it does.

Jack Dalton never believed

that anyone or anything could put him away.

There wasn't a situation he couldn't cheat his way out of.

He always had a plan.

Until now.

And it was no different the last time I saw him.

So, what's the deal? Papa Thornton say you can come out and play?

Yeah.

Good. Now we go to plane, kemosabe. You follow.

He was always dragging me into some half-baked plan

designed to get him out of trouble.

I never could just say no to him.

A midnight border crossing in a 40-year-old airplane

with a questionable compass,

no charts and total radio silence was typical Jack Dalton.

Shouldn't we be using charts or something?

Charts. Shouldn't we be using charts?

What's the name on the plane, Mac?

- "FIy-By-Night." - Exactly.

Now, relax. I know what I'm doing.

Oh, Jack,

you could have at Ieast said goodbye.

I never even got to thank you for saving my Iife in Central America.

I know you were kind of...

...a pain in the neck sometimes.

Jack, wouldn't you say we're running out of runway?

You worry too much, Mac.

Sometimes you don't worry enough!

Hang on, Mac, I'm bringing her around.

What was that?

Tricks of me trade, Mac, me boyo. Tricks of me trade.

Beautiful! Mac, I gotta tell you, it brought tears to my eyes.

Beautiful. Now, tell me you're not having just a Iittle bit of fun.

Yep, that was you, Jack.

Always havingjust a little bit of fun.

Problem was you could never leave well enough alone.

You always had to take it one step too far.

Jack!

MacGyver, I'm flattered. You came.

I had a choice?

Yo, Mac, where you going?

You're not steamed, are you? Come on, it was a joke.

First, you're gonna come down here so I can punch you in the nose.

Then you're gonna Ioad up all my stuff

and take it back to my place. You got that?

AII right, I'm sorry. If that's what you want, I'II put it all back.

- Good. - Hey, Mac, please, don't go.

Where you going? Mac! I'm begging you. Mac!

Jack!

You should see your face.

Priceless. Oh, Mac, you haven't changed. Not a bit.

- Neither have you, Jack. - Yeah? Thanks.

It wasn't a compliment.

Hey, Mac, you gotta cut me down. Mac!

Mac, cut me down!

Come on, MacGyver, my head's about to explode here.

I knew you wouldn't Ieave me hanging.

You can call me "amigo" anytime.

If there's ever anything I can do for you, just Iet me know, amigo.

Now, easy, easy. Hey, watch my head!

You know, I never got to tell you that...

I hate seeing him when he Iooks Iike this.

And, uh...

And I wonder if you could all excuse me for just a few minutes.

I'd Iike to spend a couple of minutes

alone with him to say goodbye.

Hope you understand.

Thank you.

We were very close.

I suppose I could have been wrong about what I saw.

Sure, Jack's left eye used to always twitch when he was lying,

but that was when he was alive.

Now...

Not even Jack could be low enough to lie about something like this.

Jack?

Jack!

You're alive.

Jack, what are you up to now?

Easy, easy, you're making enough noise to wake the dead.

If you don't get out of this coffin right now,

you're gonna wish you were dead.

If I get out of this coffin, I probably will be dead.

How can you do this to me?

Let me stand here watching you Iaying there Iike that?

Come on, MacGyver, watch the duds.

I gotta get them back by 3.

It's a big prom night. I got a rate.

Jack, how could you do this?

No biggie. Hire some bums to mourn me.

Pick some nice organ music. Find a coffin that-

I don't want you to get mixed up in this, Mac.

But it's great to see you.

Now, would you mind Ieaving?

AII right, Jack, I wanna know what's going on. What are you up to?

I'm undercover.

Special assignment with the CIA.

As a corpse? Enough, Jack.

No. The other side broke my cover.

I figured I had to Iay Iow for a while.

This was the only plan I had.

Don't you think six feet under is taking Iaying Iow a Iittle far?

When guys Iike that want you dead, you can't get Iow enough.

- Mourners? - They'd Iike to be.

Let's go!

Next time I'm just sending flowers.

- Come on. What?

Jack!

AI!

Come on, this way.

Hi-yo, Silver, away!

AII right, Jack, Iet's have it!

Who have you cheated, swindled or robbed this time?

Why do you always have to think the worst?

I'm an honest businessman now.

I run an honest business.

Jack-Be-Quick Messenger Service.

So, what's that got to do with

this Iittle game of Spy Versus Spy you think you're playing?

It's the truth! I was doing an honest day's work.

Pick up and deliver.

Is it my fault nobody told me I was delivering

top-secret government documents?

Who to?

The other side. Them!

The other side?

Them?

These guys know what they're doing!

Now you know why I wanted to play dead for a while.

They think I know too much. They think I finked to the CIA.

- Did you? - Of course!

There were two agents who already knew what I was doing.

They asked me to keep on making deliveries

until they could track down the Ieak inside the CIA.

Got them! They'II have to slow down.

They're catching up!

Go straight across the street.

But the alley's blocked down there.

I know it's blocked.

Just hit the brake and follow me when I say stop.

We can't get through. There's no room!

Now!

Yahoo!

Look out!

Hold on, son. I got your training wheels right here.

- You miss me? - I can't seem to get along without you.

More fun than a circus, huh?

There it is. Home sweet home.

You still chiselling space in that building?

Where else?

It's now corporate headquarters and my Iuxury suite.

I even have my own private executive elevator.

Yeah. Some executive elevator.

- This is your home and your office? Yeah, it's two.

Two? Two what? Two tax breaks in one.

Looks great on the 1040.

To the Batcave, Robin.

Get a grip on that claustrophobia, son.

We have privacy, security, all the comforts of home.

It's not much of a view, but still a bargain for the money.

Lower Ievel, men's furnishings, Iadies' Iingerie,

Jack-Be-Quick Messenger Service. PIease watch your step.

Nice.

I never got around to getting that maid.

Now, what happened? I was sure you had crashed in Central America

after you flew off with that crooked cop.

Well, I came this close.

I tricked the cop into bailing out with the drugs.

Then I made a few Iast-minute arrangements

with the guy at the big control tower,

- waited for the fuel to run out. - Did it?

Yep. But just as I was going down,

this warm updraft, Iike God's own hand,

picked me up and carried me right down the coast.

- I went down there. - Where?

Right in the middle of this native village. You wouldn't believe it.

They were all women. They were all beautiful.

Jack.

I know you're Iying when your Ieft eye blinks. Now, come on.

Okay. Before I took you to Central America,

my doctor said I'd be Iucky to Iast a month.

So after I crashed I figured...

...jungle's as good a place as any to die.

But you know something?

I didn't die. I never felt better in my Iife!

So I figured it was time to pay my old doc another visit.

And what'd your doctor say?

You won't believe this.

That dark spot on my x-ray, the one that was killing me?

Yeah.

Gone. I've been given a new Iease on Iife.

Man, I'm doing it right this time.

Straight. No more Iies.

Not even about that CIA business?

So you'II go to them and straighten it out?

Not exactly. See, not everybody at the CIA knows I'm working for them.

Well, you told me they asked you to keep on making those deliveries.

I was asked. But only by these two agents,

my contact and his partner.

See, somebody went bad in the CIA.

Until they found out who it is, they couldn't trust anybody.

- Who's your contact? - Light. That's his code name.

Then we'II go to Light. How do we find him?

Only one place I ever met him.

This was the only place we ever met.

He didn't Iike crowds.

Looks Iike he got one now.

You boys can take him away. Thanks.

Here's the paperwork. You need the file on this?

Fill out this and give it back to me, okay, when you're done.

Here you go.

- Uh-oh. Light's out. - What?

That's Light.

My contact.

Who would want him dead?

Those are the guys.

They killed him!

- Run away. Those two?

Halt or I'II shoot!

Get in the car.

AII right, come on. Here we go.

Their names are Dalton and MacGyver.

I want an APB now!

Tell Mr. Berrenger that everything is well in hand now.

AII right, that's two of them.

Let's go. Maybe Pete can help us.

Not so fast. The guys we're dealing with are good.

If they got the Iicence number from your Jeep at the funeral home,

they know where you Iive, they know where you work.

They'II be keeping an eye on both.

They can't keep an eye on a phone call, can they?

Let's go.

That's crazy!

We're both wanted for murder.

The CIA think we killed Light. The police think we killed Light.

Police? CIA?

How about the FBI? Let's go for the hat trick.

Witnesses? Who?

Getting so you can buy anything for the right price.

Thank you very much. We certainly will.

- Right. - Papa Thornton come through?

- Can he bring us in? - No, Pete's out of the country.

Brockman's covering for him. He set up a meet for tonight at 10:00.

Friend of his at the CIA says it's the best way to handle things.

- What do we do? - Meet.

Well, it's good to see you boys.

I thought we'd have a Iittle more trouble bringing you in.

That's the guy from this afternoon.

- You said we killed Light. - You work for the CIA.

Why don't you just climb down off that thing?

Move around there, both of you.

Nice and easy. Get them up.

Keep your hands in front there where I can see them.

- You, get them up! - Am I dreaming? Or is this a movie?

You Iike movies?

How about The Man Who Knew Too Much?

I was thinking more of Three Days of the Condor.

What? Remind me.

That's the one where there's a bad apple in the CIA.

He tries to kill Robert Redford because he knows too much.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, with Faye Dunaway?

- Yeah, and Max von- You know. - Right, right, right.

Let me get this straight, guys. I wanna understand this.

You're the bad apples, obviously. And you're covering up the fact

that you're double agents, double-crossing the CIA.

I don't think Faye Dunaway could follow this.

Sure she could.

Now, we're Robert Redford, and you're about to kill us?

That is a good review.

And the show's over.

Look out!

Mount up, Jack.

Come on, MacGyver, push! I am pushing!

Go!

So, what am I supposed to tell Berrenger?

You tell him there's been a change in plans.

I'II make the final delivery tomorrow, personally.

What about them?

The way I see it, there's only one place they can go,

the drop spot that was scheduled for tonight.

Let's go.

What do we do now?

The police want us for murder. The CIA wants us dead.

Does anybody else know about this arrangement with Light?

- The Shadow knows. - Enough jokes, Jack.

No joke. Shadow is Light's partner.

- Shadow and Light? - Makes sense, don't it?

Can we trust him?

Her. I don't know.

Light said she was on our side, whichever side that is.

So where do we find this Shadow?

I thought you'd never ask.

On Wednesdays, I'd pick up the goods and take them to Light.

And he'd switch them for worthless information.

That's what I'd bring back here to drop off.

So no real secrets ever fell into the wrong hands?

Guaranteed. But they don't know that.

So who met you here for the drop?

Remember those nice gentlemen you met at my funeral?

Jack, what makes you so sure

they're gonna go through with tonight's drop?

They gotta. Light told me it was the Iast one,

the end of the Iine, the pi�ce de r�sistance.

They'II just use a different messenger.

So this could be the Iast chance to see who's involved.

That's why I figure Shadow will be here.

With Light dead, she's gonna wanna keep an eye on the drop.

You gonna recognize her?

I hope so.

I only met her once, in a Iibrary.

What'd she Iook Iike?

A Iibrarian.

Can I get you anything else?

There's a table.

So?

So she's not here.

I gathered that.

This is no place for a Iibrarian.

Well, Iookie there!

Messenger.

Listen...

...since Shadow didn't show, maybe there's something we can do.

- Like? - Like intercept the package.

You said tonight's the biggie, right?

They might think twice about killing us if we had it.

Oh, Ieverage, I Iove it.

Let me do the talking. I've got this spy talk down to a science.

Do you have my package here?

Yes, I have your package here.

That's it?

That's spy talk?

Some science.

Oh, please! Not in front of the children.

You don't Iook anything Iike a Iibrarian.

- Shadow? - Shh.

What do you amateurs think you're doing?

- We got the package. - Now we need your help.

- You're our Iast hope. - What do you want me to do,

call the CIA? They already killed my partner.

That's right. And now it's your turn.

Right, come on, get up. Let's go!

You set us up!

Tonight's delivery was the bait to bring us out.

That's right. Now Iet's go.

No, I think we're a Iot safer sitting right where we are.

Makes no difference to us.

We can kill you here or someplace a Iittle more quiet.

What'II it be?

- Don't suppose you got a plan? - No, I figured it was your turn.

Honey, cut it out.

Take a walk!

- Hey, that's no way to treat the Iady! Get Iost!

I think you ought to tell her you're sorry!

Get out of here!

Let's go!

Come on! In here!

There's a door to the alley there. Lock that door.

You think you got enough Iocks on here?

- We'II never get out of this place. It's a bad neighbourhood.

This one needs a key. I've got one on the desk.

Here. Here's the key.

The wrong key? Whose dressing room is this wrong key?

Just try another Iock and I'II get another key.

That's it! That's the key!

Great! Now you're cooking.

Okay, Mac, come on. We got it.

Hang on a second.

Go! AII right, give me those!

We gotta beat it before the cops get here.

What about them? They're wanted.

Jack!

They can prove we're innocent!

Hey, hey!

Terrific.

The cops are coming,

and the real package is out there somewhere, and I haven't got a clue.

- I got a shoe. - What's that?

I don't think it's your size, Cinderella.

- What is it? Berrenger Import/Export.

Exposition Boulevard. Los Angeles, California.

They still have to make the real delivery.

Maybe that's home base.

Well, if his shoe spends time there, maybe he does too.

Maybe you guys are worth having around.

- Let's go! Yeah, before the cops

start asking too many questions.

Well, I guess it's up and over.

Jack, how about down and under?

Better. You're a pretty smart guy.

After you, my good man.

Here comes another one.

Well, it Iooks Iike Berrenger's heavy into the import-export business.

What better cover than that?

Everything moves in and out of the country. AII on the up and up.

- That's Michaels. - Who's Michaels?

Jay Michaels, the company Ieak.

That's the guy that tried to kill us.

Jack, everybody's tried to kill us.

You mean you knew who the bad guy inside the CIA was,

and you didn't do anything?

Treason is a pretty big accusation to throw around. I need proof.

And that might be the proof I need.

Final delivery.

ID, sir.

Okay.

Oh, I would give anything to get inside that warehouse.

A cipher machine.

Someone who's capable

of intercepting encrypted messages from the U.S.

will now be able to decrypt them as well.

And they wouldn't have to wait to be handed secrets from you or me.

Precisely. Which is why we have to get all our money out of this thing up front.

How does it work?

Secret message...

...provide the predetermined entry code...

...and it's computed.

And you've got your message.

Fantastic.

So much for the Ioading-dock door.

You can only get through there if you're wearing an invoice number.

Well, I guess that's what I'm gonna have to do, then.

I'm impressed.

It's everything you promised and then some.

And you say there will be no problem getting it out of the country?

I've prepared something very special for its transport.

Let me show you.

Lacks the pizzazz of the Trojan horse, but what the hey,

- it seems to be working. - So far.

Just put it right here.

Lock up, will you, please?

Then both of you go to warehouse number seven

and start unloading the new shipment.

I have some business to tend to here,

and I don't want to be disturbed for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes, sir.

Now, then.

Would you help me with this bronze, please?

Very heavy.

Thank you.

And now, this is where we'II conceal the cipher machine.

It's very clever.

So the buyer not only gets a cipher machine,

but a Remington bronze in the bargain.

At no extra charge.

And with a certificate of ownership

they'II have no trouble getting this Remington through customs.

Or the cipher.

Now all that's Ieft is for some buyer to make me a very wealthy man.

- The plot thickens. - Uh-huh.

Don't suppose it's a nickel-and-dime poker game in the backroom, do you?

No. Whatever stakes they're playing for,

you can bet they're a Iot higher than that.

Right on time.

Before we show you what you came to buy,

would you please step into my office so we can discuss a reasonable price.

PIease be seated.

Psst.

This way.

Come on.

Hey, I'II stay here and make sure no more party crashers show up.

Okay.

Where are they?

They're in Berrenger's office talking to some buyer about a cipher machine.

A cipher machine? Are you sure?

Yeah, take a Iook.

We have to get this out of here.

Its Ioss could seriously compromise most of this country's cryptosystems.

It could destroy our communication security.

That big, huh?

It could be a disaster if it fell into the wrong hands.

Then prepare yourselves for a disaster.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Look behind you.

That's the oldest trick in the book.

Good trick.

Hold it right there!

I've got a gun.

So do I.

Drop it, Dalton.

It's fingers.

If you please.

Well, now that this excitement is over,

will you take care of our uninvited guests.

Don't you guys get it?

"Dispose of them," it's a figure of speech.

Inside.

You've got to be kidding.

Care to hear the punch Iine?

Watch your Iegs! Watch your feet!

Get away from the scoop! CIimb over the Iip, quick!

Watch yourself. Jack, get out of the way!

You're crazy out there!

Maybe we don't have to wait until we get to the dump

- to dump this garbage we're hauling. - How do you figure?

The convenience of push-button killing.

Is it my imagination, or is this room getting smaller?

What is that? Why is it moving?

It's a sled.

It pushes all the trash out of the back of the truck at the dump.

But isn't the back gate usually open at the time?

Yeah. Well, what do we do now?

We need braces. Find some more boards, sturdy ones.

That's perfect, perfect. - Here.

I think it's working.

What if it doesn't hold?

- Then we go to plan B. - What's plan B?

Let's see how plan A goes first.

I think it's time for plan B!

It's getting closer.

- What are you doing now? PIan B.

Find a piece of metal.

- What is plan B? - We're going fishing.

I hope they're biting.

MacGyver, exactly what are we fishing for?

A way to turn off the sled control.

MacGyver, hurry!

- I got it! Attaboy! Wonderful!

Wait a minute! You hooked the wrong thing.

The sled's still coming, and the back end is opening.

Oh...

What now? I guess we jump.

At 50 miles an hour? - Is this part of the plan?

- Not exactly. - What's plan C?

Jump!

Wait a minute. Pull over, I think we got some trouble.

They must still be in here.

Yeah, Iet's go close the scoop, huh?

Well, Iooks Iike we made a Iittle mess here.

I know just the place for this mess. In the truck with the rest of the garbage.

- Good idea. - Let's get my mess first.

You always go first.

Congratulations.

I'm sure your country will be very pleased with your purchase.

Not until it arrives safely.

You do have the appropriate customs papers?

Oh, yes. Everything is in perfect order. It just needs your signature.

Would you be kind enough to come to my office.

Move it, Jack. We gotta get that cipher machine back.

Okay, but what are you doing up there?

Looking for a cop. Are you kidding?

You can never find one when you need one.

We'II just attract a Iittle attention on the way.

AII right!

That's a red Iight! - Exactly!

Yo!

My men should be back here any minute now.

And they'II take you wherever you wish to go.

CIA!

Gotcha!

Cuff him!

Come on.

Book him, Dan-o. Spy One.

This is it. We did it.

Yeah, I'd say we cleaned up pretty good.

Yep.

Kind of makes you glad to be alive again, doesn't it?

Well, MacGyver, you saved my hide again.

- Guess that makes us even. Even?

Okay, so you owe me one yet. Hey, who's counting?

You know,

being dead made me realize something.

Jack, you were only in the coffin for half an hour.

It's not the quantity of time so much as the quality.

Anyway, Iike I was saying, it made me realize something:

Life's a terrible thing to waste.

Especially when it's yours.

So from now on I put myself to good use.

An honest day's pay for an honest day's work.

GIad to hear it.

Where are you going? This isn't the way to my Jeep.

I could have sworn I told you. I just got one quick job to do.

An honest day's work for an honest day's pay?

You got it. Quick stop by the pier. Look for a man with a peg Ieg

and a parrot on his shoulder.

- Supposed to have something for me. - Jack!

It's a joke, MacGyver, it's a joke.