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1
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,805
Hey. How was your big
date night with Maya?
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:05,806
Didn't happen.
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:06,940
Oh, what?
4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,776
You were so excited for
the full sensory experience
5
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,144
of unprotected sex.
6
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,780
Yeah. I was very excited to
test drive my new vasectomy.
7
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:16,184
Unfortunately, my son Danny,
AKA the libido killer,
8
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,286
came in with a, "soy elbow."
9
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:21,122
You guys should just get
a hotel room and go nuts.
10
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,323
Is that a real suggestion?
11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:23,191
That's something
that you think
12
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,425
is in the realm
of reality for me?
13
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:27,328
Okay. God, you're so cranky.
Just have sex already.
14
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,529
- I'm not cranky, I'm just...
- You are cranky!
15
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,997
No, I'm just telling you
what the reality is.
16
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,465
That is what that is,
is cranky.
17
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,167
All available
trucks respond.
18
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,335
Report of a loose goose.
19
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,469
Loose goose.
20
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,937
The bird just arrived
in port from Hong Kong
21
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,840
and needs to be quarantined
for possible avian flu.
22
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:40,874
So this call is...
23
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,009
A wild goose chase.
24
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,446
The address is...
25
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,484
1414 Hollingshead Avenue.
26
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,385
Truck 12 responding.
27
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,386
Truck 8 responding.
28
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,687
We got dibs.
29
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,855
No. Actually, we
have dibs.
30
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,157
You guys got the last
animal metaphor.
31
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,626
Remember the elephant in the
room at the crazy bar mitzvah?
32
00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,827
Mmhmm.
33
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,329
You guys got the one down
by the docks, the red herring.
34
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,030
No, no, no.
That turned out to be nothing.
35
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,732
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
Go! Go!
36
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,066
- There's a car in front of me.
- Go around!
37
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,535
I'm gonna take Highland,
we're just around the corner.
38
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,669
I was gonna say take Highland.
39
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,504
Hey everyone.
40
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,005
Just a reminder, we're doing
our animal adoption today
41
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,808
so I'll need at least one team
back at the office.
42
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:15,709
Get out of the way!
43
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,910
Move!
We're gonna miss this.
44
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,213
Please do not cross over
the midline of the seat.
45
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,319
Truck 8 at the scene.
We have eyes on the goose.
46
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,887
Repeat, we have eyes
on the goose.
47
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,056
Yeehaw!
48
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:33,427
Truck 12 returning to precinct
for animal adoption day.
49
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,095
Okay. Please don't say
it like that, Frank.
50
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,764
It's a big community event.
51
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,101
Oh my God, that honk
just gave me goosebumps.
52
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,272
We really got your goose
on this one.
53
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,373
That's a lot of puns.
54
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:48,776
Frank, this goose
is officially cooked.
55
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,843
Nice.
56
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,245
Hey!
57
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,513
Come here, buddy.
It's okay.
58
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,081
Come here.
59
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,916
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
60
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,883
Today only,
free spay and neuter
61
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,319
with any adoption.
62
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,286
Hey.
63
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,154
Hi. I really like this rooster.
64
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,123
They are a big responsibility
if they're a pet.
65
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:36,824
Where do you live?
66
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,891
I'm in the dorms.
67
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,393
Ooh. Could I interest you
in something else?
68
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,094
Maybe a turtle or a long novel?
69
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:41,929
Um...
70
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,564
What's up Precinct 22?
71
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,166
Hey Rick!
How you doing, buddy?
72
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,836
Better now.
I love adoption day.
73
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,304
Wait a minute.
74
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,272
There's something different
about you.
75
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,606
Oh, is there?
76
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,107
Whoop!
77
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,108
You got a new ear!
78
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,176
This one's from Denmark.
79
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,145
It was waiting on my doorstep
this morning,
80
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,113
snapped right into place.
81
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:00,948
Who's this guy?
82
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,950
Oh, this is Toby.
Fresh out of a bath.
83
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:05,018
I brushed his teeth with
liver-flavored toothpaste,
84
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,355
which feels like a lateral
move breath-wise.
85
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,489
Let's find this boy a home.
86
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,957
This is the best dog
in the house.
87
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,959
Toby and I actually started
here the same week.
88
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,594
Oh, that's great.
Where's Emily?
89
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,662
Ah, in her office.
90
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,797
Don't you wanna hear more
stories about the dog?
91
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,267
They're boring as hell.
92
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,136
Good morning. Just wanted
to pop my head in
93
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,938
and say hi on the big day.
94
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,176
Okay. You just say "hey"
whenever you're ready.
95
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,811
Oh, hi.
Uh, sorry, sorry.
96
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,045
Thanks for stopping by.
97
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:36,517
I'm just... I'm kind of alarmed
right now just because of...
98
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,618
Hey, is that a new...?
99
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,052
Ear? Yeah.
100
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:39,887
It's nice.
101
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,455
Thank you.
It was not cheap.
102
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,189
Oh.
103
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,791
So, uh...
what's so alarming?
104
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,526
I just...
105
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:48,862
Um... the inventory is off.
Something is missing.
106
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:49,730
Don't sweat it.
107
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,832
Most of the big stuff
is insured.
108
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,001
The smaller stuff often times
shows up.
109
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,569
It's a tranquilizer dart.
110
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,738
Got it. You will have
to have that back today.
111
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,308
It's a dart full of a federally
regulated drug.
112
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:02,410
I could totally get fired
for this, right?
113
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,378
You got this.
You're gonna track it down.
114
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,379
And if you want,
115
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:08,048
I can stay and help out
with adoption day.
116
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,917
That would be amazing.
Thank you.
117
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,852
You think it's possible
that someone on staff took it?
118
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,254
Take a tranquilizer dart
filled with ketamine?
119
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,389
No.
120
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:19,860
Wait. Yes. There is one
incredibly logical person.
121
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:21,929
Oh yeah, here we go.
122
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:23,664
Emily.
123
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,099
Hey. Do you have a sec?
124
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,568
You can't outrun me,
goose!
125
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,702
Yeah.
126
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,372
I don't really know how to get
into this so, um...
127
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,607
do you know anything about
a missing tranquilizer dart?
128
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,878
Uh... no I don't. Why?
129
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:41,715
I did my inventory early
and it's off
130
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,184
and I know with your
recreational drug use...
131
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,520
Are you accusing me
of mainlining a dart?
132
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,188
No!
133
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,425
It's just I've heard you mention
ketamine specifically before.
134
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,527
I don't think that's accurate.
135
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,762
Are you kidding me?!
136
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:57,565
You said sex on ketamine
is like boinking on a cloud.
137
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,067
No, that doesn't sound
like something I would say.
138
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,469
And then when
you went to Idaho,
139
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,703
you came back and you said,
140
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,239
you know what the best thing
about Boise is... ketamine.
141
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,476
Might I remind you,
you stole drugs from me.
142
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,411
Because I thought
they were chocolates.
143
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,579
So you claim.
144
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,213
But maybe you should put
yourself on the suspect list.
145
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,314
Okay, this is not constructive.
146
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,216
Let's just forget this
conversation happened.
147
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,752
So close!
148
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,055
Not sure you can unring
that bell but, yeah, I'll try.
149
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,493
How'd your call go?
Did you have a nice chat?
150
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,227
Yeah, great.
I just need to make one more.
151
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,261
Keep him cornered.
152
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,162
Take your time.
153
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,330
I'll keep chasing
the goose by myself.
154
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,168
Hello?
155
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,269
We have a problem.
156
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,638
Emily knows about the missing
tranquilizer dart.
157
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,773
Just one second.
158
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,008
Okay.
159
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,943
How? She doesn't do inventory
until the end of the month.
160
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,112
I thought we had a few more
weeks to find a replacement.
161
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,480
Yeah, well she did it early.
162
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,282
Why? Does that nerd think
she's going to get extra credit?
163
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,652
Ah, Darlene.
Just one more sec.
164
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:53,954
Does she suspect us?
165
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:54,788
No, not yet.
166
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:55,923
But it's only a matter of time
167
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,125
before she finds out we used it
on the mountain lion.
168
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,427
You do know it has a name, right?
169
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,329
C-38.
Man, you're so weird about him.
170
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,632
Yeah, well if this goes up
the chain, he gets euthanized.
171
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,366
Yeah, and I will get deported,
172
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,268
which is even more tragic
because I'm human.
173
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,470
Okay. I thought your guy
at the zoo
174
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,438
was gonna steal us a dart.
175
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,139
He's not responding
to my messages.
176
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,775
Shocker that your black market
ketamine connection is a flake.
177
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,276
And why did you have
to tranq him?
178
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,146
He was lunging at us.
We'd both be dead if I didn't.
179
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,482
Man, Emily's all over
this thing.
180
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,683
I'm gonna have
to find a way
181
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,684
to distract her at the office.
182
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,653
Maybe send her on a wild
goose chase of her own.
183
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,622
It's a real shame you
said that, Frank.
184
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,023
Do you think you could
track down a dart
185
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:30,958
by the end of the day?
186
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,793
Yeah. Sure.
I'm on it.
187
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:33,360
Okay.
188
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:33,894
Bye.
189
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,796
Victoria!
190
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,697
What!!!
191
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,466
Emily... can I talk to you
for a second?
192
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,033
Yeah.
Um, just one sec.
193
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,135
Hey.
194
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,704
Hey, uh, Victoria told me
all about the missing dart
195
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,506
and I'm sure
you are all over it
196
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,874
but I just wanna let you know
197
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,375
that I'm here if you need
any help.
198
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,911
Thanks. You're gesturing
a lot with that turtle.
199
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,345
Oh. Right.
200
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,182
Darlene, hey. Congratulations
on your adoption.
201
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,150
And remember,
they live 80 years.
202
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,054
So, are you gonna run
some kind of investigation?
203
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,155
Probably.
204
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,924
Yeah. Do you have any
interrogation experience?
205
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,094
No. I actually hate making
people feel uncomfortable.
206
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,096
I love making
people uncomfortable.
207
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,699
So we should team up.
A little good cop, nervous cop?
208
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:15,002
Uh... yeah, okay.
Yeah, sure, thanks.
209
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,070
Yeah, I can already see
the flop sweat.
210
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,371
You are a natural at this.
211
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,106
What?
212
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:20,941
No.
213
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,380
He sure does seem affectionate.
214
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,582
Oh yeah, he's
a great dog.
215
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,885
He's very loving, smart,
house broken, had all his shots.
216
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,220
He is the full package.
217
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,789
Well... maybe not full.
He's fixed.
218
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,725
We've got a big yard for him
to run around in.
219
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,426
Three acres, all fenced.
220
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,228
Three acres?
Take me home.
221
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,098
Well, we'd love to fill out
an application.
222
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,033
Oh yeah? Absolutely.
223
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,935
But first we should talk
anal glands.
224
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,571
His need to be
expressed regularly
225
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,573
and he is not a big fan
of the process.
226
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,707
Okay. Sure.
227
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,075
It's a full sensory experience
228
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,410
and you gotta wear clothes
you're not afraid to throw away.
229
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,312
And that has to happen weekly.
230
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,718
Yeah. We're, um...
231
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,987
we're gonna take a lap
and think about it.
232
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,989
Oh. Are you sure?
233
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,391
Okay. I know
it's a big decision,
234
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,961
I'm just not sure he'll be here
when you come to your senses.
235
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:15,963
Thought you had 'em.
236
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:16,897
Yeah.
237
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,331
Gotta work on
your closing game.
238
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,769
Hey.
239
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:22,770
Hey guys. What's up?
240
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,004
Unfortunately
there's a situation.
241
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,673
There's a tranq dart missing.
242
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:26,607
Oh my God.
243
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,075
Frank] Yeah, and
considering the fact
244
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,778
that we keep the darts in here,
we came to see you.
245
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,980
If you're trying to find out
who's been in the exam room
246
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,583
can't you just look through
the video footage?
247
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,950
What? What?
248
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,752
The bear is a camera.
249
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,787
It is?
250
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,454
Yeah. I have to record
everything that happens here
251
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,256
per the State Board
of Veterinary Medicine.
252
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,025
Yeah, but a toy bear?
253
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,259
Talk to the City.
254
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,828
I've been trying to get a new
camera for over a year now.
255
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,496
It's definitely
on my to-do list.
256
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,932
Unfortunately watching any
of this footage
257
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,834
is a real can of worms,
privacy-wise.
258
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,469
There's First Amendment issues,
Third Amendment issues.
259
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,338
Isn't Third Amendment no
soldier shall be quartered
260
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,673
in a house during peacetime?
261
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:00,540
Yeah.
262
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,709
Look, it just all goes
to privacy.
263
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,010
Am I being overly cautious?
Perhaps.
264
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,277
Now, I'm gonna go
to the bathroom
265
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:07,347
and then we'll dive right in
and start violating some rights.
266
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:09,983
There's a video.
267
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:10,884
What?
268
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,285
Colette's got
a teddy bear cam.
269
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,154
So, there's footage of me
taking the tranq dart?
270
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,488
Yeah, unless you wore
a disguise.
271
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,323
Where are you?
272
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,324
I'm on the toilet.
273
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,526
'Kay.
274
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:20,828
Look, I'm gonna have to find
a way to delete that footage.
275
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:21,829
Did you get the dart?
276
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:22,896
Not yet, I've struck
out everywhere.
277
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,464
But I have one more card
to play.
278
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:25,398
Bye.
279
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,566
We need to get
back into sync here.
280
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,534
Victoria!
281
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,337
Victoria!
282
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,572
And if you get to my rank
you don't have to do this.
283
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,209
Oh, hello Kiwi.
284
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,811
I'm cashing in my favor.
285
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:38,979
Really?
286
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,214
Yeah. I need a tranquilizer dart
and I need it today.
287
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,549
Yeah, I can't possibly...
288
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,484
Really?
You said you'd do anything.
289
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,186
Hey, I'm still trying to figure
out what you were doing
290
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,855
in that Tacoma dinner
theater that night.
291
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,356
Yeah, and I still don't know
what you were doing
292
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,924
in an amateur production
of Hair.
293
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,193
But in exchange for handing
over the full-frontal footage,
294
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,763
you gave me a check,
and I'm cashing it in.
295
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,331
Alright. I see your little game.
I'll play.
296
00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,566
I'll see what
I can do.
297
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:00,868
That's what I thought.
298
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:03,771
You all good?
299
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,539
I see you've met Toby.
300
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,675
He's so friendly.
301
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,609
I know.
He's the greatest dog.
302
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,512
Looks like he's border collie
and some cattle dog.
303
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,114
Sounds like you really know
your dogs.
304
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,082
Yeah, I used to train them
305
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,084
in my Special Ops unit
in Afghanistan.
306
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,118
Cool.
307
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,552
Toby seems great.
Can we start an application?
308
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,255
Absolutely. Yeah.
Just sit right here for me.
309
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,392
I just have a few
questions for you.
310
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,593
In case of deployment,
311
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,628
who would be Toby's
primary caretaker?
312
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,429
My wife.
313
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,964
Your wife.
And where is she today?
314
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:31,865
She's at work.
315
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,800
And work is?
316
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,467
- Real estate.
- Real estate.
317
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,568
Mmhmm.
318
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,737
Volatile.
319
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,741
Okay, let's talk
alcohol consumption.
320
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,210
How many glasses would you say
you have a week?
321
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,612
We'll start with you and then
we'll get to your wife.
322
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,482
We're gonna keep looking.
Let's go, Otis.
323
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,583
No!
324
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,053
I only had a few
questions left.
325
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,790
He clearly has a
drinking problem.
326
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,127
Okay. Nothing,
nothing, nothing.
327
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,661
There's Kyle the tech
wearing headphones,
328
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,730
doing a little dance.
329
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,464
That's embarrassing for him.
330
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,133
Nothing. Nothing.
331
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:09,136
Oh, me coming in for a second.
Zipping through that.
332
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,670
Wait, wait.
What are you doing?
333
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,606
Oh. I was just
getting supplies.
334
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,942
Moving along, that's boring.
335
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,810
Ooh. No, no, no.
Frank, stop.
336
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,846
Are you doing
formaldehyde curls?
337
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,749
No, I'm just checking the...
Yes, I was.
338
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,016
We have a gym on site.
339
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,152
Those are exactly 27
pounds apiece.
340
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,453
It's a very specific workout
for vascularity.
341
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,855
Wait. You're not gonna
take off your... wow.
342
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:28,989
Oh... Frank, come on.
343
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,023
You know what?
344
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,424
No. You know what?
I was just fast-forwarding.
345
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,659
It's a very warm room.
346
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,694
It's like a hot yoga room practically.
347
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,596
You know, I feel like my rights
have been violated.
348
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,165
Okay. I... I'm taking over.
349
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:40,000
You've lost
keyboard privileges.
350
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,934
Yeah. I don't even want it.
351
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:41,802
Go.
352
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:45,005
Probably lost exam room
privileges as well.
353
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,306
Definitely.
354
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,608
Okay, moving on
from that.
355
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,065
What the hell is that?
356
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,305
Oh no!
357
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,081
Where are you?
358
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,420
There you are.
And... delete.
359
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,390
And there I am.
360
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,525
You're a monster, Frank.
361
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:42,930
A swole, fully jacked... monster.
362
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,364
Save.
363
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,437
We got him cornered.
Okay. You go that way.
364
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,839
Ready. Set.
365
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:53,706
- Go!
- Be right back.
366
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:55,442
Where are you going?
367
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,610
We had the son of
a bitch cornered!
368
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:02,715
Here you are.
369
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,716
A newspaper.
370
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,585
Where did you even
get that, a newsie?
371
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,753
Okay, we're square now.
Got it?
372
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,787
Yeah. We're square.
373
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,390
What, what, what... shht!
What's it for?
374
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,258
None of your...
375
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,792
Shht! You can tell me,
you can tell me.
376
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,627
- Please, go now.
- You can tell me.
377
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,628
A leopard?
378
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,529
Seriously?
379
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,031
A leopard?
A leopard?
380
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,203
Okay.
381
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,406
We did it!
382
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,607
We got the goose!
383
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,109
No. I... I did it.
You did nothing.
384
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,577
Now make yourself useful,
385
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,079
take a picture of me
with my bounty.
386
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,813
- Here. Look at that.
- You got him?
387
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,048
We're like best friends.
388
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:10,083
Hey. Um... I found something.
389
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,418
It's bad.
390
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,091
I told you it doesn't
look good.
391
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,292
No, it doesn't.
392
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,165
Hey, Patel.
393
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:25,999
Frank!
394
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,834
Can we talk for a sec?
395
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,470
Oh, I'm very popular today.
Emily wants to chat too.
396
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,473
There's footage of you covering
the camera in the exam room.
397
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,709
Please tell me it
stayed covered.
398
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,844
It did.
399
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,279
What were you doing in there?
400
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,514
Ah... I can't say it out loud.
401
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,292
I masturbated in the exam room.
402
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,126
What?
403
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:53,994
Shh!
404
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,629
Uh... please explain.
405
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,231
When someone gets a vasectomy,
the chamber,
406
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,832
it has to be cleared
no less than 40 times
407
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,569
prior to having unprotected sex.
408
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,138
Now as you know, last night
was a very special date night
409
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,306
for me, but I got to work
410
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,142
and I realized I was
one shy on my count.
411
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,344
And you have that heightened
fertility, right?
412
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,812
Exactly. I couldn't risk it.
413
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,248
So I went to the exam room
where I know there are locks
414
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,683
and that's where I...
415
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:17,384
Okay.
416
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:18,685
Of course, it was all for naught
417
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,088
'cause Danny stormed in on us
last night like the vice squad.
418
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,322
So what am I
supposed to do?
419
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,491
Should I just, like...
do I need to confess to Emily?
420
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:25,158
No.
421
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,059
No.
422
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,094
Don't. That's a tough
one to spin.
423
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,728
So what, am I gonna get fired?
424
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,596
It's not great.
425
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,930
What, 'cause I love my wife?
426
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,532
No.
427
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,233
You had a wank.
428
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:33,933
At work.
429
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,901
But we won't let that happen.
430
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:35,735
Nuh-uh.
431
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,204
Why was she even looking
at the footage?
432
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,738
Because there's a missing
tranq dart.
433
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,872
And she thinks I took it?
434
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,374
But you didn't because
we know who did.
435
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,109
Who?
436
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,176
It doesn't matter
who took it.
437
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,777
Just know that it was done
for the most heroic
438
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,448
and noble reasons
and he, or she...
439
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,451
Or they...
will go down as legends.
440
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,952
One day the tale will be told.
441
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,388
But for now, I actually think
there's a way
442
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:58,391
that this could work for you
and that other party.
443
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,626
Other party...
you mean you guys?
444
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,293
No.
445
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,094
It's not us.
446
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,062
Yeah, you guys are
the other party.
447
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:02,462
Nuh-uh.
448
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,130
Nope.
449
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:03,596
Sounds like you.
450
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,231
No.
451
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:05,465
It's not.
452
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,400
Well, whoever it is, I'm in.
And I know it's you guys.
453
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,437
He's a special guy,
isn't he?
454
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,538
He really is.
455
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,273
I can't believe
nobody wanted him.
456
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,942
Is that really accurate?
That no one wanted him?
457
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:16,976
What do you mean?
458
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,711
I wanna play you something.
459
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:24,617
Wassup! Wassup!
460
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,088
Did you, like, record
the commercial?
461
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,722
Wassup!
462
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,892
No. That's a bird.
My bird, Emilio.
463
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,961
He has said that phrase
every time
464
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,464
I've walked in the door
for the past 16 years.
465
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,600
Wassup!
466
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,070
Emilio was here in the shelter
when I was a rookie
467
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,804
and I became attached.
468
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,106
There were some people
who wanted him
469
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:49,409
but I kept finding ways
to sabotage it.
470
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,844
So, you think I ruined things
for Toby on purpose?
471
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,613
I think you have a huge heart,
472
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,615
and you just need
some guardrails.
473
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,285
This job will eat you up if you
get too invested in the animals.
474
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,587
Wassup!
475
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,622
That's the last one.
476
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,192
Who's this guy?
477
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,993
Careful, he sleep bites.
478
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,661
Shred.
479
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,099
Sorry. Disregard.
Do you wanna say hi?
480
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:12,599
Yeah.
481
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,201
His name's Toby.
482
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,768
Hi Toby.
483
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,439
Would you like to fill out
an application?
484
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:19,972
Yeah.
485
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,008
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
486
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,676
He's a really good boy.
487
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,116
Patel has something
he wants to say.
488
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,350
Go ahead.
489
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,019
I took the tranq
from the closet.
490
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,387
Oh, Patel.
491
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,288
Tell her everything,
492
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,889
it's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
493
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,792
It was last week.
494
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,893
Victoria was sick,
495
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,363
and I wish to God it weren't
true, but...
496
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:47,900
I hit the sauce, Emily.
Both Arby's and horsey.
497
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,736
I was three beef
and cheddars deep
498
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:53,673
and between all the extra sauces
and melted cheese...
499
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,074
I sauced my gun.
500
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,310
So, of course, then I took it
apart to clean it,
501
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,046
and forgot to put
the dart back in.
502
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,549
When I realized my mistake,
I ran back to the park
503
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,151
but there's no dart.
504
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,818
So, the dart is still missing?
505
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,554
Or is it?
506
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,389
I heard that story
and I followed a hunch.
507
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:12,392
And as I suspected, it rained
on the night of the 23rd.
508
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,693
A real downpour.
509
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:16,196
Okay. It's Seattle,
it's not that unusual.
510
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,231
I sent Victoria back
to the scene of the crime
511
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,432
where she discovered...
512
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,701
The dart.
513
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,538
Bullseye.
Just like in darts.
514
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,739
It was in the storm drain.
515
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,608
Where it had been
washed away by the rain.
516
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,576
Case closed.
517
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:33,380
Emily, your witness.
So... case reopened.
518
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,381
Yeah.
519
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,284
Okay.
520
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:40,187
Well, the dart is back so
the inventory will be reconciled
521
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:43,423
and I guess that is the most
important thing.
522
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,292
Yeah!
A real happy ending.
523
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,593
I'm so sorry.
524
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,195
Yeah, I appreciate that.
525
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:52,565
But I am still obligated
to take disciplinary action.
526
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:55,435
So you are suspended
for a week.
527
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,538
Well, that's harsh.
528
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,308
Didn't see that coming.
529
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,742
I'm sorry, buddy.
530
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,811
But as your
union representative,
531
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,579
I think the collective
bargaining agreement
532
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,147
is pretty clear.
533
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,450
That suspension's
with pay, correct?
534
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,484
That is correct.
535
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:15,222
He just is not allowed
to come into work at all.
536
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:18,057
Not even to catch up
on paperwork?
537
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,292
Okay, we're done here.
538
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,794
Okay.
539
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,479
Rough day?
540
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,947
Very rough day.
541
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,284
Did I ever tell you about
my amazing air vent?
542
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,352
I don't think so.
543
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,319
No?
544
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,324
Just to sterilize
dog bites obviously.
545
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,992
That was here
the whole time?
546
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:57,697
Thank you, uh, by the way
for today.
547
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,833
You were like a superhero
out there.
548
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,035
You got, like,
eight dogs adopted.
549
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,104
Yeah. Sometimes
I miss this job.
550
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,038
I mean, don't
get me wrong,
551
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,807
I also like being
independently wealthy.
552
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,709
But I love the camaraderie.
553
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:13,613
So...
554
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,983
Did you get your
situation resolved?
555
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,485
You still look
a little haunted.
556
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:19,552
Can I ask you a question?
557
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,520
Sure.
558
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,621
What do you do
when you're pretty sure
559
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,855
a couple of your employees
560
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,491
are feeding you a complete
load of bull,
561
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,058
but you're scared
to call them on it,
562
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,193
'cause if you do
563
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,195
they could actually get
in pretty serious trouble?
564
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,963
Well this seems
very hypothetical.
565
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:32,999
Yeah.
566
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,166
It's not always
black and white,
567
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,235
sometimes what's technically
the right thing to do
568
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,705
isn't what's best
for the precinct.
569
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:39,672
It's a tough one.
570
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:40,973
Yeah.
571
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,310
And it's not like I can talk
to anyone on the staff about it.
572
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,344
No.
573
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:49,181
It's kinda lonely
being the boss.
574
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,584
I know exactly
how you're feeling.
575
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,687
Yeah, it seems like you do.
Like, a lot.
576
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,160
Wassup?
577
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,895
Remember?
'Cause your bird.
578
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,030
I remember.
579
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,733
Yeah.
Anyway, I found Toby a home.
580
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:07,600
He's about to leave.
581
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,936
Do you guys wanna come
say goodbye?
582
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,070
Yeah, yeah.
583
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,004
Totally.
584
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,272
Yes.
585
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,376
The family's a little sketchy
but I'm learning to let go.
586
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:21,348
♪ Let the midnight special
587
00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:25,084
♪ shine the light on me.
588
00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:28,388
♪ Let the midnight special
589
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:31,758
♪ shine the ever-loving
light on me. ♪
590
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:32,959
Go Amit.
591
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,961
Baby, block out your calendar
for the next seven minutes,
592
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,697
'cause there's a storm coming
Ahhh!
593
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:44,371
The new
comedy, "Animal Control"
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