Original subtitles

"One day, when he was naughty,

Mr Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred's field

and it was full of green lettuces."

"Mr Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces."

"This did not seem fair."

Not fair at all!

So there you go. Those are the opening words

to Mr Bunnsy Has An Adventure.

But that is not the story you will see.

This, what you're watching right now, is called a framing device,

a story that wraps around the main story

like a warm blanket around a baby.

Steady there. Right!

Now, we have to get your story started.

And it's not about cute rabbits wearing clothes. Not at all!

In fact,

your story

is all about...

Rats!

You've got...

..r-r-rats!

Rats!

♪ Twitching noses, cunning faces

♪ Hiding in the strangest places

♪ Always gnawing, clawing, peeking

♪ Climbing, jumping, squealing, squeaking

Agh!

Cluck! Cluck!

♪ Greedy for your precious treat

♪ They lick the crumbs from off their feet

♪ They undermine your soil and ground

♪ Try to catch them, can't be found!

Hey, that cat can talk!

Rats!

You've... got... rats!

Rats! Whaaat?!

♪ Nibbling here, napping there

♪ They widdle on your tableware

♪ You try to poison, trap and shoot them

♪ Race and chase and stomp and boot them

♪ They leap with marvellous agility

♪ No beast can match their sheer...

Er... Erm...

..adaptability?

♪ Rats! Rats! ♪ You've got multiplying rats!

♪ You've... ♪ You've...

♪ Got rats! ♪ Got rats!

♪ Rats! ♪

There really aren't all that many.

You don't need many for a plague, not if they know their business.

One rat taking a bath in fresh cream and widdling in the flour?

Could be a plague all by himself!

A plague? We're doomed!

I suppose you want us to pay you to get rid of them! Me?

Just one lone cat? Against all that?

Well, I am good, it's true, but no, no, no, no,

one cat will never do.

Oh, what, then? What?

You need...

..the Piper.

That's not the Pied Piper!

Hm! Not the real one, anyway.

Your saviour has arrived. Come on, pony up!

Oh, it's working!

Yes!

They're leaving! They're leaving!

Whoaaa!

Ahhh...

Yay! No more rats!

No more rats! Whoo!

Hey! Where did the talking cat go?

Whose brilliant idea was the cliff?

The swimming and the water - pfft! - up my nose?

Sorry! Sorry!

That was me! Whoa!

The idea just kind of hit me and I ran with it!

Ah, that was fun!

Let's do it again! Ooh! It did provide dramatic flair!

A climactic end to the affair!

Yo! Who thinks Keith here

needs to go for a little swim himself?

All in favour? Aye!

Well, that went well!

Says the cat who's perfectly dry.

But look! Cash! Money!

Ahem-hem!

That sound always spells trouble.

Ahem! Morris...

Peaches, Peaches... How many times? It's "Maurice"!

"Mauriiice."

All right, fine, out with it.

Well, Morris, Dangerous Beans thinks we shouldn't live by trickery.

Oh? Is that what Dangerous Beans thinks?

You know, some think

there's a good deal too much thinking going on, and I think I agree.

Peaches is right.

With our newfound intelligence comes a conscience.

We must ask, "Is it right to trick people?"

But trickery is what humans are all about!

They're so keen on tricking each other,

they elect governments to do it for them!

But does it feel right? Ahem! What Dangerous Beans means is,

"Do we really need to keep doing THIS?"

"Doing this"? Well, of course, no!

In fact, I don't have to be here at all! I'm a cat, right?

There's no end of things I could be doing, because people like cats.

Instead, I choose to help a bunch of ungrateful rodents

who are not exactly number one favourites with humans. Right?

But if I may remind you,

you were the ones who wanted to find the island paradise.

Paradise...

Bring forth the sacred book.

Hey, hey, Keith! Hm?

The sacred book! Oh, yes, yes! Er... Ahem!

There you go.

Ah, this is where we're headed!

An ideal land,

where animals talk

and live side-by-side with people in peace!

Oh, look! Animals wearing clothes.

A rabbit who walks on his hind legs and wears a blue suit.

And there's a rat called Rupert

and a stoat who goes by the name of Howard.

And Olly the Snake is a bit of a rascal,

but don't worry, nothing truly bad ever happens there!

It is paradise!

In the land of Mr Bunnsy,

there are no poisons, there are no traps!

None of the animals eats any of the others.

It IS paradise.

We must find this place. Exactly!

You've been there, right, Morris?

Me? The Amazing Maurice?

Er, no, not personally, no. But I've spoken to many cats who have.

As we all know, it's an island. A beautiful faraway island.

And to get to the island, we need what? Boats. Right?

And to get boats, we need what? Money. Right?

We have to keep making money. Understand?

Fine. That's settled, then.

Keith, let's go. Oh! Our next target is this way. OK, coming!

Oof!

Perhaps... one more town.

Yay!

Now, in fact, Morris was lying.

That's the beauty of the framing device, see?

I get to tell you stuff about this story you wouldn't otherwise know.

Like, I can tell you that Morris never spoke to other cats

because no other cat could speak back.

Morris was as unique as the rats!

He knew money was important, so he lied to the rats to make more of it.

In truth, he was building himself a nest egg

so he could make good on his deluxe retirement plan.

And now you know Mr Bunnsy is important to the story

because the rats believe he is real.

They think they can find a land where all the animals talk

and live happily ever after.

"Farmer Fred opened his door

and saw all the animals of Furry Bottom waiting for him."

"We can't find Mr Bunnsy!" ..they cried.

If that sounds ominous

it's because it's called foreshadowing.

Which is kind of a promise to you,

letting you know that if you keep with the story,

it's going to get...

..ugly. Really ugly!

You, my dear fellows, are the best rat catchers around

and you've done a great job, of course you have.

There are no rats anywhere in the town!

Thank you, Mr Mayor!

That we can see.

Er, what's that? It's just that,

well, the food in the town continues to...

..disappear!

It's just...

..gone.Huh? Poof! Uh?!

We are in the midst of a famine!

What are you trying to say? Or, in fact, saying?

What I am trying to say, or at least imply, strongly,

is that there must be a connection!

Connection?

The rats? The food?

It's rather strange, isn't it?

Talking of strange, that, er, new fellow in town, your employer,

what's his name, It's, er...? Boss Man.

Yes, yes, yes. Well, with all those clothes

and that scarf and the hat, I-I can't really see him,

you know, your boss, I mean.

Strange, you say?

Er, not that strange!

Have you considered

that what you have here,

with the missing food,

is a mystery? Mystery! Oh, yes! That's correct!

And with the rats gone, none to be found,

that factor is simply...

..unrelated.

Unrelated!

Mm-hm.

Always nice to do business with you,

Mr Mayor!

Mum? What is it, love?

I'm hungry!

How about we pick leaves from the ground and make leaf sandwiches?

With no bread. Just leaves. And imaginary jam.

Stay low. Quiet as mice.

Remember, this is a new town.

There's bound to be new traps and poisons.

Allow me.

Why do we wear clothes? It makes no... sense!

Unless we're on stage!

Dangerous Beans says it's civilised.

And the concept of the belt is worthy.

You never know what you're going to need next.

Move on!

All right, let's stop here!

Number Three Platoon - In-Brine, Sell-By, Sardines and Delicious,

you're on widdling duty.

Go to it! If I don't hear ladies screaming

and running out of their kitchens within ten minutes,

then you're not the rats I think you are.

Number Two Platoon - Big Savings, Best Before,

Special Offer and Do Not Enter,

you're on trap disposal.

Use caution. Never rush, never run.

We don't want to be like the first mouse, eh? No!

Right! What mouse do we want to be like? The second mouse!

Because? Because the second mouse gets the cheese!

You have a question?

Er, what does the first mouse get?

The trap. See?

And then the Bone Rat comes for ya!

The Bone... ..Rat?

Mm-mm.

All right! Go! Go! Go!

Keith and Maurice will be in position soon.

You know what worries me, Dangerous Beans?

What is it that worries you, Darktan?

There aren't any local rats here. Normal rats, you know?

Rat tunnels? Yeah. Rat droppings? In abundance!

But we've seen no actual rats.

A town like this should be full of 'em.

Hm. It smells, doesn't it?

Yeah. It smells.

It smells like a...

A mystery.

Hm. It's still all quiet.

Sounds like the lads didn't start their plague show yet.

50 cents for every dead rat?

They seem serious.

50 cents! Huh! Must be a rich town.

That's good. That's very good. It means more money for me. Oh!

For us! For us, of course!

Yeah, looks like a town with opportunities.

But have you noticed...

..there's no food?!

That is odd! For a market town. Yeah. Especially when you're hungry.

Which is my way of saying, "I'm really hungry!"

Oh, look, this one's open! Ahem!

Good day to you, sir!

We're looking for... food?

Yes, well, there you go. Right under your nose.

Oh. Well, I guess, erm, how much for the...

Too late. Huh? It's gone.

No, but we're very... And now we're closed. Sorry!

Have a nice day!

Maurice, what... What do you think? Maurice?

Maurice!

Maurice?

Maurice?

Agh! Oof!

It has everything you would traditionally want in a kitchen,

except for something to eat.

Maurice, please, let's go, before someone...

Quick, scratch me on the head! There's a girl looking at us.

What?

Who's to say a narrator can't also appear in the story she's telling?

Did that cat just say something?

Huh? Cats can't talk! Everybody knows that.

Ah, I get it. You brought the cat here

because you know there's a famine and you're going to sell it.

There's at least two good meals on those bones.

What? You eat cats here?

Ha! Got you!

Yep, she got ya. Mm.

Well, there's some milk that's not gone hard yet,

and a couple of fish heads. That will have to do.

Do? That will be ideal!

But maybe we shouldn't eat your food if there is so little?

No, no, no. My father, who happens to be the mayor, by the way,

says we need to be hospitable.

So tell me your name.

Er, Keith.

Oh, that won't do! No hint of mystery.

It just hints of... Keith!

Are you sure that's your real name? I don't know. I'm an orphan.

Ah, yeah! Mm! That's more like it. A mysterious past.

You were stolen at birth, I expect.

You're probably the rightful king of some distant country

and they found someone who looked like you and did a swap!

In that case, you'll have a magic sword,

only it won't look magic, you see, until it's time for you

to manifest your destiny!

You were probably found on a doorstep. Er, actually a hay cart.

Just as good! Hey, it's customary when somebody asks your name

to reciprocate and ask them theirs.

I'm Malicia Grim, by the way.

Er... Hello,

erm, Malicia.

Nice, erm, to... No! Sardines! Back!

Rat!

Sardines, no! Easy on the tap dancing!

Sorry! I've just got these...

..d-dancing feet!

Whoa! Ugh!

All right. I think it goes like this...

This rat is clearly a magical rat. I bet he's not the only one.

Born that way, or something happened to him, or them,

and now they're quite intelligent, despite the tap dancing.

And the cat is friends with you... Why would rats and a cat be friends?

There must be some kind of an arrangement. No, don't tell me!

I shouldn't think anyone ever has to tell you anything.

Something to do with plagues of rats, right?

All those towns we've heard about? You got together with Keith here

and you go from town to town pretending to BE a plague of rats,

Keith pretends to be a pied piper and they all follow him out

and you make loads of cash, right?

It's all a big swindle.

She's got us bang to rights, boss.

You won't tell on us, will you? Ha!

A talking cat and a talking, tap-dancing rat?

They'll think I'm making up stories again

and I'll be locked out of my room as punishment. Locked out?

So I can't get to my books. It might not be obvious, but I read a lot.

My father says "Too much!"

Ah!

So, here's the question - how did you learn to talk?

In a real story, this is where we'd get a flashback.

Flashback? What's that? It's where you get the backstory.

Go ahead, tell me what happened.

There doesn't seem to be a way to tell her no.

What happened? Er...

No-one knows for sure, you know, but, erm...

Rats eat rubbish. That's what we do!

That was back when we were just normal, everyday rats,

squeaking and squabbling.

We ate whatever we could find. The stubs of candles, for example!

We love candle stubs!

And a weather-beaten broomstick.

That can be good to get your teeth into. And powders and potions.

We drank green bubbly stuff from the bottoms of cauldrons

and gnawed our way through worn-out spell books.

Ha! Doesn't sound like an ordinary rubbish heap!

We eventually figured that out.

The dump belonged to Unseen University of Ankh-Morpork...

..the establishment of learning, where magic is studied.

All the mixed-up magic leftovers from the men in pointy hats!

I like it.

Once we got smart, we learned to read

and gave ourselves names from the things we found in the dump.

"Sardines."

"Peaches."

"In-Brine!"

What of the cat? Cats don't eat any old rubbish.

Decidedly not! He never ate anything off the dump,

but he did get intelligent around the same time.

As an intelligent cat, I do vow, and it is a point of pride,

to not eat anything that can speak.

I know just what we must do next to solve the mystery of our town!

Huh? What mystery? The missing food! The rats are gone!

Why else would you be in this story, if not to solve the mystery?

We need to sneak into the Rat-Catcher's Guild

and find out what they're up to.

Ah. I am oddly compelled to follow.

It's a gift. I'm off to get my adventure bag.

Yah! Ready?

Let's go!

I think I love her.

Er, sir?

You, er, you wanted to see us,

sir.

There are new rats in town.

Are you sure, sir?

The traps are empty. We... I can feel it!

Catch them and bring them to me.

Yes, sir! Right off, sir!

You know I have a thing...

..for rats.

Important safety tip.

Don't eat a dead rat that just ate something,

that just ate something, that made it dead.

Dangerous Beans says we shouldn't eat rats at all.

True. Very true. Unless you're hungry.

But rats are always hungry. My point exactly.

Strange.

Reminds me of, erm,

a Prattle and Johnson Little Snapper,

but those are not round like this one.

Mm...

Ah... And there's no extra safety catch.

I think we need... Mr Clicky.

Mr Clicky! Come on, Mr Clicky.

Mr Clicky!

Oy, good luck, buddy!

It's showtime, Mr Clicky!

Go, Mr Clicky, you can do it!

On the double, soldier.

What are you waiting for?

Time to do your duty.

Mr Clicky? Hey!

Where do you think you're going?! Come on, lad!

You're made of metal. This...

can't... hurt.

Ugh!

Darktan?!

Wh... What?

What is this?

Ingenious. Never seen this before.

It's a cage. A cage.

A cage!

What's a cage?

It's used to capture a rat.

Who would want to keep a rat?

"And because of Olly the Snake's trick with the road sign,

Mr Bunnsy did not know that he had lost his way."

"He wasn't going to Howard the Stoat's tea party."

"He was heading into the Dark Wood."

She seems to think that it's no good looking inconspicuous

unless people can tell that you are being inconspicuous.

The trouble is, your lady friend thinks life works like a fairy tale.

Mm. That's harmless, though, isn't it?

Maybe. But in fairy tales,

when someone gets hurt...

..it's just a word.

Hm?

Luckily, I'm prepared for every eventuality.

The grapnel and the rope ladder take up a lot of room.

And then there's the medicine kit and the kettle, the back-up kettle,

the sewing kit... ..and the mirror for sending signals

and these!

Hair pins? You just push it into the keyhole and twiddle.

Malicia, those things work in stories, not... That's right!

Oh, dear me. So, we're back in your story, are we?

And what am I in your story?

Mm, not sure. You're not handsome enough for a love interest

and you're not funny enough for comic relief.

Maybe you're just the sympathetic friend

who serves as a sounding board to help me resolve my ethical dilemmas.

H-How is it you know how to pick locks?

I told you, they lock me out of my room to punish me.

I've seen thieves at work, "cat burglars" they call them

because they are nearly as clever as cats.

They have complicated little tools

which are used with great care and precision.

They don't ever just...

There we are!

That was luck.

Oh, no! I didn't expect this!

Well, it's a dirty room full of junk, what did you expect?

I was expecting something horrible, yet interesting.

Some ghastly clue that would advance the plot.

The world doesn't have a plot. Things just happen, one after another.

Pfft! There's always a plot. You just have to know where to look.

Ha! That's it! A secret passage, of course!

Everyone, look for the entrance to the secret passage!

What does a secret passage look like?

Well, it won't look like one, of course!

Oh, well, in that case, I can see dozens of secret passages.

Er, I don't know how to look for something

that doesn't look like the thing I'm looking for.

Agh! I know it's a rather daring idea,

but suppose there might not be a secret passage?

There has to be! But they're hard to find.

And then you give up,

and it's when you give up and lean against... that wall,

that you inadvertently operate the secret switch!

Huh...

I'll just rest my arm innocently on this coat hook.

And look! A sudden door in the wall miraculously...

..fails to appear!

Clearly, certain villains totally fail to know

how to design a proper secret passage.

Keith, look!

Hey! Why is there a rat hole in a rat-catchers' building?

I wouldn't come near this place if I were a rat.

Yes! That often happens in stories!

The stupid person comes up with the good idea by accident!

There's a sort of little lever in there.

I'll give it a... push.

Agh!

A trap door! Quite well-hidden. No wonder we didn't see it!

Keith! Are you all right? Not hurt!

Much.

It's a sort of a cellar.

I'm all right because I landed on my head.

Here's a ladder. Why didn't you use it?

I was unable to take advantage of it on account of...

..falling past it.

Where's my hat?

Ahh!

Oh, my goodness! Huh?

Food!

Smoked ham!

Mmm! So good!

Wow! Over here!

I found the bakery section!

So they are stealing food...

..mostly at night,

for some undetermined purpose.

Those are the best mysteries!

The more they are solved, the more mysterious they get.

All right, speak up. Agh!

Just say a few words. Or a poem maybe? What about a lim...

Agh! Peaches!

It's you! Put me down! Do you mind? Oh! Of course!

Keith! Sardines! We're in...

Ah, don't worry, I know everything!

We're in trouble! You won't believe what we've found!

I did ask you if you could talk, didn't I? Yes, you did, but...

I'm quite vigilant about asking, you know.

Yes, yes! You've made your point! I believe you!

But we're still in trouble! Why? What's wrong?

Mr Clicky?

What are you doing here? When I get my hands on that wind-up toy...

Darktan! Are you hurt?

Ugh!

Pfffff! Just my pride.

Here,

let me handle this.

Where is he? I will crush that useless piece of tin!

Stop!

I just want to talk to ya. It won't hurt!

Well, it will just a little! Back off, Mr Too Many Belts!

It's not cool to pick on the little guys.

He had one job to do!

You're safe with me now.

Huh. So this is what they do. Yeah.

This is new. Insidious. These traps, very cleverly designed.

It would have to be to capture you!

They are designed to take us prisoner.

Prisoner? What for?

That's pretty much our business,

don't you think?

I knew you were a part of this! Ha!

Tell us a story, story-telling girl!

You're stealing food, somehow, for some reason.

To feed the rats you've captured, maybe, and must be hiding somewhere.

You don't need to be clever to see that this is a bad situation

and might need running away from quite soon.

..so that's why the food went missing. Get them!

Come here! Such as now.

Oh, you think Malicia is the only person who can comment on the story?

Well, she thinks the story is about her, but it's not.

Check out the title if you harbour any doubts.

Oh, I hate cats!

Rats served on a silver platter!

Get that thing off my foot! Boss Man will be very happy!

And now the kids!

Let go of me! Go and tie 'em up somewhere. Let go!

Hey, look! The rat. Why is it wearing a hat? Hm?

Huh!

Billy, look at that! A show-rat!

Oh, don't look at me like that, like I'm abandoning my friends.

I'm a cat, and cats choose their battles wisely!

Hey, Billy! He'd be good for the pit.

We'll call him The Rat With the Hat!

What are they keeping us for? Normally, a rat is trapped

and then...

What's so funny, Dangerous Beans?

Maurice! I knew you wouldn't let us down, old friend!

I've always said, "We can depend on Maurice."

Never a doubt. Mm. Right.

I saw you rush off to start looking for us, even before we were caught!

Ooh! Hey!

So, what's your plan? First, we get out of here.Excellent.

Then get as far away from this town as possible.

Yeah. After we rescue Sardines.

You left out that part. Yes.

An oversight. Let me go over it again.

First, we get out of here,

then... Ahem! Plus the boy and the girl.

They're tied up in another cellar. We have to rescue them, too.

Oh! Humans, you know!

They'll eventually work it all out, deals will be struck!

We have to find out where they took Sardines.

Perhaps you heard them mention... the pit?

I was in a place once, a storage building.

Some men came in and put a big round wall in the middle of the floor

and called it... the pit.'

They had a box of rats and tipped them into the ring

and then then they put in the dogs. Terriers. ''

The rats fought the dogs?

Fought? No.

Mostly they ran around and around. It's called rat coursing.

How is it we've never heard of this?

Because there wouldn't be any rats left to tell you.

Right, then.

Peaches, Dangerous Beans, Maurice, you go free up Keith and Malicia.

Nourishing, Special Offer, Delicious In-Brine,

we rescue Sardines. His trail will be easy to follow.

He was widdling the entire way.

So, let's go over it again, shall we?

You don't have a knife of any kind?

None. Or some handy matches that could burn through the rope?

No. Sorry.

Did you even look? I looked!

You know, in many ways,

I don't think the plot of this adventure

has been properly structured.

Rrrrgh!

Keep the pace!

All right, I'm running out of patience.

I'm gonna start to reach here.

This would be the ideal time for you to discover your secret powers!

Oh! Great idea! Ah, yeah!

Oh...! Yes? I feel...

Huh? Huh?

No. Nothing.

Ugh! Are you sure?

When I first saw you I thought, "He must have some amazing power

that will manifest itself when we're in trouble."

"No-one could be that useless, unless it was a disguise!"

No! Look, I'm the kind of person heroes aren't.

I'm a cheat, part of a rat scam.

What I do is play music

and I do that pretty well, thank you.

But I am not a hero in disguise.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Oh.

So, you're the commoner

who has to rise to the occasion?

You should've found someone else.

Ow! There's something behind me!

We're gnawing through the ropes! What? Ow!

Hold still! Dangerous Beans! Peaches!

It's about time! Talking animals to the rescue!

Unbelievable! This is almost too easy!

Almost like - pfft! - Mr Bunnsy.

Mr Bunnsy? What about Mr Bunnsy?

Oh, those are just books for little kids!

There's a rat and a rabbit and a snake

and they go around having adventures.

They wear clothes and talk to humans and everyone's so nice and cosy.

It is so silly!

My father read them to me when I was a kid.Erm...

I think you'd better stop.

Morris? Of course, now I see how simplistic they are!

No subtext, no social commentary.

Doris the Duck loses a shoe?

You call that narrative tension? Malicia, please stop! What?

You knew! YOU KNEW!

There's no island paradise. There never was.

You lied to us! No, I...

Look... No, Peaches, don't!

I never had the heart to tell you.

Peaches, it's all right. No! Peaches!

Peaches? No!

Peaches! Come back!

Dangerous Beans, don't... Peaches!

All their hopes... dashed.

Bad cat! BAD CAT!

Oh, I hate this feeling. That you've done something wrong?

No! That I now need to do something good to make up for it.

Like, figure out how to get you two past the rat-catchers.

Peaches?

Peaches?

She came this way.

Peaches, please! We can work things out.

The book is a lie! You lied to me!

The book is not what matters! It's what we make of it!

Go away!

I don't think we are alone down here.

If you would just stay in one place till I get to you!

Leave me alone!

Beans?

Beans? I think there's something else down here!

Peaches!

Bon appetit.

Hey! It's that cat!

Enjoying your last supper?

What? Hey...

What's this? Killalot.

Oh. That sounds bad. What?!

How did you... Hey, you stole our poison!

Steal? No, no, no, no, We don't steal.

We just put it somewhere else.

Set that down. That's dangerous stuff! And tell me where you put it.

Well, now that you mention it, I think the cat there

put most of it in the sugar.

Oh, I knew that tea tasted funny.

You... Don't even think of hurting us.

We might forget where we left the antidote.

There is no antidote to Killalot!

Oh, but there is. I know a few experts on the topic of rat poison.

Answers. Now.

You caught rats alive and crammed them into cages. Why?

I can feel things happening!

Don't you know anything about poison?

Your stomach won't start to melt for about, oh, 20 minutes?

This is great stuff.

Oh, this is inhuman!

No, it's extremely human. Your poisons do it to rats every day.

Now, tell me about the rats in the cages.

At first, we caught a few! For the pit!

Then? We accidentally made a Rat King.

A Rat King?

Is it still alive? I've never seen him afraid before.

IS IT STILL ALIVE?!

Er, w-what is a Rat King?

Rat kings are deadly evil.

A collection of rats, their tails knotted together, and then...

We didn't mean to. We put a handful of rats in a bucket

and later, when we opened the lid...

..there it was!

The rats, together, their minds merge to form one creature.

It gains consciousness, power, mind power.

It can dominate and control others.

This is a game-changer.

A Rat King? No. This is too much.

Oh, wait! Where are you going?

I, erm,

I have to go and warn the others!

Antidote! Antidote, please!

My stomach feels like there's rats running around in it!

You don't deserve it, but we left it in that little cellar downstairs.

I should hurry if I were you.

Me, too!

How much poison did Maurice give them?

You mean the laxative? Lots. Where is it?

But they should be all right if they don't take too much of the antidote.

And what did you leave down there for the antidote?

More laxative.

I've got to find a toilet!

Too late.

The laxative was brilliant.

But giving it to them as an antidote, as well, that is...

Clever? Narratively satisfying?

Genius!

The genius part is,

I know where to go next.

To the forest!

The Dark Wood?

Well, there are trees and it is dark.

Why? Don't you know? Don't you read?

There is only one thing that can control a Rat King.

One! In the entire landscape of literature!

We have to get it or all of us are in real trouble.

What?

The pipe of the Pied Piper.

The real Pied Piper!

You hear the words "Rat King" and you get out of there.

Permanently. That's the rule.

Yep! Lucky me! And what an end to the story!

The Amazing Maurice barely escapes with six of his nine lives.

And these little beauties, of course!

Yep, huge advantage being a cat.

Actually, it's too bad for them they're not cats.

Hey, why am I even thinking about them?

I'm not feeling guilty about this. I'm a cat!

Free to follow my own fate. My next big adventure.

I think I'll go to sea.

Always fancied being a ship's cat.

Might get a little bit sick, I suppose, but I'll get used to it.

What a twist! And it's just getting better!

Malicia? You've been up here three days!

Do you want some dinner?

I'm coming down soon, Dad! I promise!

This is not the behaviour of a normal girl.

Where were we? Oh, yes. Mr Bunnsy.

"Ratty Rupert was the bravest rat there ever was."

"Everyone in Furry Bottom said so."

"So he was sent to find Mr Bunnsy."

"Little did he know what was waiting for him."

This must be it. Ten rats in 32 seconds!

Come on, give me a hand.

That's a smidgen over three seconds per rat!

Let's hear it for The Blitz From Bad Blintz!

Billy!

Sardines is not far.

- Ready for the next round? - Yes!

Give it up for...

..Jacko!

Are you ready

to rattle?

How long will they last?

Oh, no! This is even worse than Maurice told!

Sardines is dog food. Idiots! Work together!

You could strip that fleabag to the bone!

That was a quick one!

Six rats in 28 seconds! Good boy!

All right, folks!

For tonight's main event, we've got a real treat for you!

You won't have seen a rat like this before.

We call him The Rat With the Hat!

Sardines!

Your fans are waiting!

Showtime!

And here is the legendary champion,

Brute the Cute!

Aww!

He doesn't stand a chance! All right, all right, calm down!

We do the Rubber-String-Thing! You know what to do!

Everyone get into position! Um, rubber-string... what?

You, come here! Attach the string! Me?

I don't know if I can... Quick! Do it!

OK! All right!

Ten dollars he won't last a second!

Fight!

Oof!

Huh?

Get it done! Double the pressure, half the speed!

♪ Dip-a-doo-ba-da, boo!

What is the rat doing? The Charleston, I think.

Hurry up! Wait!

♪ Ba-ba-ba-da, baa! ♪

Now or never! Nearly done! Come on! Got it!

Sardines, here I come...!

I-I... Oh, YOU!

I thought that I would...

Aaaggghhh!

Sardines, we'll get you out of this!

Did the rat just talk?

Don't worry. Stay behind me.

Don't move, I've got you! Huh?

Go on, Brute, get stuck in!

What are you waiting for?

He's not in the right position!

I know, I know...

You've spent your showbusiness career biting rats that ran away.

But rats that fight back... Huh! Huh!

..they're something new.

Huh?

$15 on the talking rat!

Come on, you mutt, or are you gonna chicken out?

Attack!

Ha-ha! Smell ya later.

Watch it!

Oh, yes! A brawl!

$20 on...

Puh! Humans!

Hey, little fella!

Come on, then.

All in one piece? Good.

Thanks, Darktan! Thanks to all of you!

Mm...

Ha! Welcome to the rescue squad! Mission completed!

Let's go! But stay frosty!

What is that, that tune?

Huh? Oh, sorry, was feeling nervous. It helps me...

Agh! ..if I play. Oof! Ow!

Mm, it was nice.

Say, do you have a princess, or someone else you are in love with,

who might be impressed by your heroics?

No, I do not.

Oh, that's too bad,

otherwise you and I might have been an item.

How could my having someone else mean I'm right for you?

Plot complications! Every story needs them.

If you were doing this for someone else,

I would be the girl right in front of you

who's obviously much better for you but you don't see it

and you would realise in the end.

But since there isn't anyone else, I'm not that girl.

Malicia,

this isn't some story.

That's what everyone's been trying to tell you.

Listen, orphan boy, who was probably a changeling fairy

and that's why you can play amazing music,

I'll tell you something!

I know about real life.

I know people think I'm silly,

but you know what?

Aaaggghhh!

If you don't turn your life into a story,

you become part of someone else's story!

And what if your story doesn't go anywhere?

But it will. It always does.

It has to go somewhere.

There!

There he is!

That's dedication!

He wears his Pied Piper outfit even in his down time.

He looks...

..somewhat intense!

He did once get upset about an unpaid bill

and magicked an entire town's worth of children into the woods,

never to be found!

And why did you not tell me that

before now?

The original fairy tales are the best.

Really quite brutal.

There it is!

That's the pipe!

Ooh, nice!

Yep. That's it, all right.

I bet he has the whole forest under his spell.

Peaches?

Peaches?

Peaches?

'Hello, Dangerous Beans.'

What?

Where are you? Show me! Let me smell you!

'I'm in your head.' What? How?

'See that small tunnel to your right?'

'Enter it.'

'I'm up here, Dangerous Beans.'

'Come to me.'

Why?'Someone I think you know is waiting for you.'

"And as night fell,

Mr Bunnsy remembered,

"There's something terrible

in the Dark Wood!"

Ominous!

Hello, Dangerous Beans.

How do you know my name?

I know you better than you might think.

And, oh, the ability to read your thoughts does help.

Where is Peaches?

Safe.

Where is she?

Safe, I said! I'm keeping her quite close.

Oh, don't be afraid! Rather the opposite.

I would like that you would join me.

Join you?

You are a marvel, Dangerous Beans.

You have a mind to rival my own,

a mind that is thoughtful and wise.

A mind that thinks for many rats, not just one.

Oh, I send them out each night to steal food.

The rats grow stronger, the humans grow weaker.

That is the answer to your mystery!

Mm... One mind is only as strong as one mind

and two minds are as strong as two,

but put three minds together...

..three minds are four minds

and four minds are eight minds...

..AND EIGHT MINDS ARE...

..one.

Where is Peaches?

No! Help me! Help!

Peaches! Peaches, I'm here! Help me! It's all right!

It's all right, Peaches, I'm here. Yes. Yes.

You are here.

Well, we want the same things, you and I.

We have plans.

We want the triumph of rats over humans!

I harbour a somewhat different dream.

Individual rats and humans,

living together in peace, respect and harmony.

Like in a story book?

Yes. Exactly like in a story book.

Complete with a happy ending. Meow!

Ugh!

Oh, you want to buy your way out?

Hm, something like...

..that!

Agh! Morris! It's Maurice.

Ah, you silly cat!

Let's go! Beans! Come on!

Silly rat... Silly rat... Silly Rat... Silly Rat...

I can force you to join me.

Join me... Join... Join... Join...

You'll never fit through! I'm a cat! If my head fits,

the rest will follow!

It's futile to run when I'm in your heads!

Don't worry! A cat always lands on its feet!

Agh! Aaaggghhh!

Agh!

Oof!

Ah! Maurice!

Amazing Maurice.

We have to get out of here! Get out of town! Fast!

Whoa! Oof!

What about Keith and Malicia? We're dealing with a Rat King!

A Rat King?! Oh, no!

OK, they can catch up.

I'll distract him. You grab the pipe.

What? He's already asleep.

Well, then, I've done my part.

I didn't do it mama, I sw... Mmmmm!

I did...

Wow!

Look out!

Huh?

I'm sorry, Mr Piper, but I'm afraid I must insist

that you hand over that pipe.

Oh, now, is that so?

Yes, that is so!

Or else I've got this and I'm not afraid to use it!

That's a fork.

A knife would be too sharp to carry around in my bag,

so it makes sense for me to use a fork.

Sir?

Did you really steal a town full of children?

Half the things they say about me are not true!

Well, that's a relief! No!

He didn't say which half. Clever girl!

And you look tasty, too! Uh-oh! I think he just told us which half.

Out to the oven, both of you!

Ugh!

I think he got us!

Whaaa? The oven?

This is so Hansel and Gretel.

Now's about the time

a character we almost forgot will appear unexpectedly

to pay his debt and save the day!

Looks like your story doesn't have a happy end.

In that case, Keith,

this would be the perfect moment for you to confess

how you truly feel about me.

How I truly feel about you?

Mm-hm!

Most of the time,

fairly annoyed.

Agh!

Aaaggghhh...

I knew I could count on you, Mr Clicky!

We got it! Let's go!

Now they have the rare and precious weapon

to defeat the evil Rat King!

Everybody, hurry! What's all the fuss about?

A Rat King? Well, that doesn't sound so bad.

It is, believe me. We need to beat it pronto.

A dead end! How do we get out?

Everybody, calm down! Please!

Quiet! I'm trying to think!

Agh!

Hey! Watch it! You watch it!

One rat can think, right?

But a bunch of rats is just a big animal

with lots of legs and no brain.

As soon as there's trouble, we're just... rats.

If it's any help, I'm just a cat.

Oh, you are not "just a cat", Maurice.

Well, we've always wondered how I got changed,

even though I never ate any magical rubbish from the wizard's dump.

Yesss?

A mystery. Well, er, now might be the time.

Did you ever know a rat, quite big, one ear missing,

had a bit of a speech difficulty?

Oh, that sounds like Additives. Right?

Oh, no!

All right! All right! I ate him!

I hadn't learned to think yet! I was hungry!

I ate him and then I got changed, too!

I admit it! It wasn't my fault. I was just a cat.

Are you sorry? Sorry?

Cats are never sorry. They never regret anything!

Except... Except, I do!

Then, it is all right. Probably.

Yo, Maurice! Give me a hand!

Quick! Right, let's get out of here once and for all!

What's wrong? There...

Hello there!

Oh! Retreat!

Back away, everyone! Oh, please, don't run off! You've just arrived.

Enough with the masquerade! Show yourself!

Oh, you want to see me?

Well,

here I am!

Agh!

Do you see me, white rat, in your misty eyesight?

Yes, you do see me.

And now, come to me,

my little bunnies!

What is happening? I don't know!

Busy day?

No, come on, everyone. You have to fight it!

He's too strong!

Maurice, you could get away.

No! No! I-I would rather stay and stand with my friends.

Er, no, actually, you could probably get away. What?

And go get help. But we still give you credit for your noble stance.

But I...

Ah, that fluffy tail is probably the last we'll ever see of him.

Yep.Bye-bye.Good riddance! Ahem! Pardon me!

Can we continue? Fine.

Come to me!

Maurice! Keith!

We've got the Pied Piper's pipe and we're headed back to town.

Good! I'm off to find Keith and Malicia

and lead them back to battle the Rat King!

Yes! Go! Go! Right! Go! Go! OK, bye!

Yeah, let's call that a heat-of-the-moment fail.

Yes, that never happened. Let's never mention that, ever, to anyone.

Deal! So one more time.

Maurice! We have the pipe!

The Rat King is on the attack! Follow me!

Come!

COME!

Hey, watch out! Oh, no!

Together, we will be strong!

Oh, no!

I got you!

Your offer is interesting,

but what of those who aren't strong?

Agh!

Delicious! This tickles!

Delicious indeed! The weak are food. That is how it has always been.

A-ha-ha! Things are becoming clearer.

No! Ugh! Fight him! For our lives!

For our future!

Yes, join us! I have great plans!

You only have plans! Well, I have dreams!

You defy me?

Excuse me?! What was that?

Over here!

You?! Mayor's daughter, ya foolish child!

Will you please be quiet?

What? Your voice, it's so loud! Just shut up!

I'm trying to hear the music.

Music?

That's right. Music.

A collection of tonal vibrations of varying durations,

arranged in a pleasant,

some might even say compelling, order.

No! No! Agh!

Malicia, are you sure this is going to work?

But of course. You just wait.

Humans... Humans are the vermin of this world.

Aaaggghhh!

Keith!

Humans have tortured and poisoned and killed,

and all of that is now given form in me.

We must live alongside the humans!

They trap and course us for pleasure.

We will teach them to respect who we are. Arrrgh!

Oh, yes, we will.

With fear!

Keith! Keith! Keith!

Oy! Keith!

Oh, why didn't it work?

Keith, this is your story arc.

Remember what you've learned and use it!

But I haven't learned anything!

Go get him! Ugh! OK!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Nourishing!

This suuuucks!

Ugh!

Whaaaa!

Oof! Ugh!

Sardines! Stop!

I'm taking my final bow!

Ugh!

And we would rule that rat world together,

would we?

We would... co-operate.

Yeah, right! You co-operate, he rules!

Smart cat.

The stupid kid is making me seriously angry!

One moment.

Oh, you really shouldn't have!

You obviously do not know

how a proper showdown ends for the bad guy!

You'll be...

..destroyed! Malicia!

You talk too much!

Now, where were we? Oh, yes.

Join me!

Malicia?

Mm?

Keith!

I'm sorry, the pipe, it's not working.

It's not the pipe, stupid.

Huh?

Just play.

OK.

You will obey me!

Never!

Then, feel my pain!

Er... Mm...

W-What's that?

Oh, it's, er...

You!

Huh?

What are you doing? Where are you going?

Uh! Uh! No, no! Enough! Enough!

Enough!

Ahh, it's beautiful!

Sweet music!

Sweet, sweet music.

Over here! Hurry!

Everybody, this way, fast!

Looks like someone discovered his secret power.

That is beyond ugly!

Well played, Piper.

Well played! But your music cannot break...

..me!

Come now, Dangerous Beans. It is time.

No! You are nothing but darkness!

And you are nothing but a rat!

I am more than a rat!

If I am not more than a rat,

I am nothing at all!

Then, be...

..nothing.

Agh!

Maurice, my friend,

maybe now it's a good time to be...

..just a cat.

You see,

the Amazing Maurice, that's me,

had longed to be a proper cat for months.

I have so much bottled-up ancestral fight and viciousness

flowing through my veins, it sparks off my claws!

The Rat King sends all of his power,

enough to bring down a tiger!

But now, just for a few seconds,

this particular cat could bring down a tiger

all on...

..his own!

Eurgh!

Rrrggghhh!

Beans! No!

Did you save him?

I tried to save him.

Beans?

Beans?! Dangerous Beans?

Please, no!

Bone Rat. Also known as The Grim Squeaker.

You've come for Dangerous Beans, I suppose?

No. After all we've been through? Not gonna happen!

Argh!

All right, mister,

let's hear you talk.

I'll give you one chance. Unnn!

Desist from attacking my associate, Morris.

That's Mauriiiiice!

Yes, sir! Mr Death!

Yes, at once, sir.

Oof!

Good to see you again, Morris.

Hello, sir. Good to see you again, too.

How many lives do you have left now? Erm...

Lemme think. Er, six, sir! Six. Very definitely six lives, sir.

But you were run over by a cart only last month, weren't you?

Oh, that, sir? No. Buh-Barely grazed me.

Got away with hardly a scratch, sir. Exactly.

O-Oh. Oh, I... Yeah. I see.

That makes five lives, Morris.

Sir, please,

take two of my lives.

I would give an extra one in exchange for the life

of this brave little rat.

That is very un-cat-like of you, Morris. I'm amazed.

Well, I'm pretty shocked too, sir.

It's just that this one is special.

Wise and inspiring.

Your request will be granted.

We came for two lives and two we will take.

The balance is preserved.

Thank you, sir!

Oh, sir? I'm not gonna remember all this, am I, sir?

Because that would just be too embarrassing.

Of course not, Morris.

Beans!

Beans!

Please say something!

Beans?

Don't leave me!

Beans...

Dangerous Beans!

I thought you were dead!

I thought so, too!

What?

Hey! Ah!

See, the couple of a story has to kiss

whenever there are people celebrating around them.

But this is real life?

And a story.

Our story.

Well, in that case...

Whoa!

Mmmm!

Mwah!

Mm...

Maurice, is that a purr?

"Ratty Rupert saved the day, and Mr Bunnsy's hide!"

"Well done, Ratty Rupert!"

..cried the animals of Furry Bottom.

And that is how the story of Mr Bunnsy ends.

"But how does our story end?" you might ask yourself.

Well, in the end,

our story is all about...

♪ Rats!

♪ You've... got...

♪ ..rats! ♪

Bad Blintz has become a tourist attraction!

Ta-da!

People travel from miles around to visit.

And buy the souvenir mugs and stuffed toys

and other things which have no use whatsoever,

other than to be bought and taken home.

There you go, dear! The famine is over

and there's plenty of food for everyone!

And once a day, the town's Pied Piper,

whose name is Keith and, actually, who kisses rather well,

plays his pipes,

and the rats dance to the music in a conga line.

Ah, Mr Clicky, my lad.

How's the family today?

The rats have a town of their own

and get free use of the library.

And even send their little rats to school.

In other words, rodents live happily,

side by side, with people.

Just how Peaches once dreamed it would be.

Due to the efforts of Maurice, the Amazing Maurice,

and his educated rodents!

But mostly...

..me!

Meow!

♪ Hey, what you doing?

♪ I got a pocketful of rhythm for you

♪ And if you don't know what it is you should do with it

♪ Follow me

♪ Hey, where you going?

♪ I see you looking for your light but you're glowing

♪ But if you take a look inside then you'll know

♪ It's gonna set you free

♪ Set you free

♪ Oh, sometimes we get it right ♪ Ah, ah...

♪ And we all get it wrong ♪ Ah, ah...

♪ But you're always gonna fail

♪ At being someone that you're not, so...

♪ Be yourself

♪ Cos everybody else

♪ Is taking

♪ And everybody else

♪ Is faking it till they're making it

♪ Be yourself

♪ Be yourself

♪ Cos everybody else

♪ Is taking

♪ And everybody else

♪ Is faking it till they're making it

♪ Be yourself-elf-elf-elf!

♪ Hey, it's been too long

♪ And you've been sticking out in places you don't belong

♪ But when you find the melody of your own song

♪ Well, sing along

♪ Sing along

♪ Oh, sometimes we get it right ♪ Ah, ah...

♪ And we all get it wrong ♪ Ah, ah...

♪ But you're always gonna fail

♪ At being someone that you're not, so...

♪ Be yourself

♪ Cos everybody else

♪ Is taking

♪ And everybody else

♪ Is faking it till they're making it

♪ Be yourself

♪ Be yourself

♪ Cos everybody else

♪ Is taking

♪ And everybody else

♪ Is faking it till they're making it

♪ Be yourself-elf-elf-elf!

♪ Be yourself!

♪ Oh, be yourself

♪ Be yourself

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Be yourself

♪ Cos everybody else

♪ Is taking

♪ And everybody else

♪ Is faking it till they're making it

♪ Be yourself

♪ Cos everybody else

♪ Is taking

♪ And everybody else

♪ Is faking it till they're making it

♪ Be yourself-elf-elf-elf!

♪ Be yourself ♪

♪ After all

♪ That we've been through

♪ Who'd have thought that we'd be here

♪ Take a breath

♪ And look around you

♪ Can you hear it loud and clear?

♪ Did you tell yourself a story?

♪ And seen it in your room

♪ Cos I told myself a story

♪ And I just can't believe that we're living it!

♪ Side by side

♪ You and I

♪ This is all I've ever wanted

♪ I feel like

♪ I can fly

♪ It's some superpower magic

♪ And all my life

♪ All my nights

♪ I would give them all to you

♪ Side by side

♪ You and I

♪ This is all I've ever wanted

♪ I had dreams

♪ Of a hero

♪ Out of nowhere you appeared

♪ Sweet, sweet music all around you

♪ Everybody wants to hear

♪ Cos I told myself a story

♪ And I just can't believe that we're living it!

♪ Side by side

♪ You and I

♪ This is all I've ever wanted

♪ I feel like

♪ I can fly

♪ It's some superpower magic

♪ And all my life

♪ All my nights

♪ I would give them all to you

♪ Side by side

♪ You and I

♪ This is all I've ever wanted

♪ And I just can't believe that we're living it!

♪ Side by side

♪ You and I

♪ This is all I've ever wanted

♪ I feel like

♪ I can fly

♪ It's some superpower magic

♪ And all my life

♪ All my nights

♪ I would give them all to you

♪ Side by side

♪ You and I

♪ This is all I've ever wanted ♪

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