Original subtitles

Hey, uh, is Sophie around?

You can't just do this.

My friend isn't even here to get what he needs.

Previously on "A Million Little Things"...

Greta's back?

Yeah. I was thinking of asking her to move in.

If that's okay with you.

I think that's great.

I gave Colton your list of potential guest hosts,

but I guess he already found someone.

Her name is Dr. Jessica Bruno?

She's Gary's therapist.

You'll never be as good as Maggie Bloom.

Your dad has been having memory problems.

I am perfectly fine.

We won't know anything for sure until we get the MRI.

There's something else I need to tell you.

The results of your MRI came back.

They're thinking it's Alzheimer's.

How's my favorite father-in-law?

Oh!

Still in your underwear.

Didn't you get my text saying I was coming over?

I'm allowed to be comfortable in my own home.

Well, glad one of us is.

Walter, what's this alarm for?

I don't know.

Why the hell is this thing not working?

It's a universal remote.

It's supposed to make my life easier.

- Here. I can help you. - I don't need help.

Oh. No. Of course you don't.

I was just stopping by with a breakfast burrito.

Made it this morning.

Extra sour cream, just the way you like it.

Maybe it's the batteries.

Guess what.

Rome and I are interviewing home healthcare workers today.

And who knows?

Maybe we'll get lucky and meet someone

who appreciates your dress code even more than I do.

I don't need your home healthcare worker,

and I don't need your butter-me-up burrito.

For your information, I already made breakfast 20 minutes ago.

Honestly, Gina, I find all this ridiculous,

and I'm a little surprised you let Rome drag you into it.

I've taken care of myself for 77 years.

I raised two kids, served in Vietnam.

What else do I have to do

in order for you and Rome to trust me?

Fire!

I remember what the alarm was for.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com

Hey, T, to celebrate our first morning together,

just you and I, I made smiley-face pancakes.

The eyes on this one look just like Tammy Faye Bakker's

after a good cry.

Hey, Theo, come on.

Your dad's gonna be here any minute to pick you up.

Okay. I just need to make sure Mom got to work safely.

I texted her twice, but I haven't heard back,

so I'm a little worried she...

Oh, hang on.

Oh, she just sent me a thumbs-up.

We're good. Hit me with those pancakes.

Oh, uh, but first, I need to put out the...

Tuna for Scott?

- Right here. - Oh, you're good.

Thank you.

I am good.

Here.

There you go, Scott.

Greta.

Hey, Greta. Check it out. The bird's back.

You mean the one you mistakenly claim is a sparrow?

No, the one you crazily insist is a blue jay,

even though no part of that thing is blue.

I don't see a bird.

Wait a minute. Is this a "made you look"?

Because I thought we promised we were not bringing

Gary and Maggie's shenanigans into this house.

No. He's right there.

Oh.

Well, he was.

Where did he...

- Oh, my God. Scott! Scott! - Oh, no.

How do they expect me to remember anything

from last week's birthing class

when I have full-blown pregnancy brain?

I don't even remember taking these notes.

Is this...

Is this even my handwriting?

Don't sweat it, preggers. I remember everything.

Graham is awesome.

You and Brie really hit it off.

Oh. You mean about the baby stuff.

No, I don't remember any of that crap.

Gary.

Relax. That's why we hired pros.

It may be your first birth, but it is not Dr. Lipman's.

- Wow. - Oh.

I cannot believe that she has the nerve to call you right now.

Nope. We don't talk about Bruno.

Would you stop looking at those notes, you nerd?

The point of this class is for us to meet people

that are having babies within 30 days of ours.

This is not a social event.

You're right.

It's a social opportunity.

You see, dear Magdalene,

most parents make the very stupid mistake

of waiting to see who their kids hang out with,

and then they befriend those kids' parents, but not us.

No, no, no.

The goal for today is to put a brunch on the books

with out soon-to-be besties, Graham and Brie.

And to find out how to dislodge something

from our baby's throat if he's choking.

Yeah.

Yeah, that... that, too. Sure. Fine. If there's time.

When he bent down to help me with the dustpan,

I saw parts of that man his doctor's never seen.

Oh, wow. Thank you for the visual.

Oh.

I think this is the place.

How do you know Joseph's here?

I don't, but the woman from the sanitation department

said that when they do a sweep,

usually the people they displace end up within a few blocks.

- Mm. - So if he's not here,

maybe someone will know where he is.

Uh, hi. Excuse me.

Um, we're looking for someone who might be here.

Joseph?

I don't know any Joseph.

Uh, we have a video of us playing.

? Oh, that salted cured meat ?

? Ooh, it's sublime ?

? Regina's pastrami... ?

No. I-I never seen him before.

Are you sure? 'Cause it... it seemed like...

I can't help you.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay. Let's... Let's go.

Here. Would you like one?

A word of advice.

The people living here look out for each other.

They'd probably be more likely to help you

if you didn't show up empty-handed.

Thank you.

- It's a sore wound sort of a thing... - Hey, T!

- It's like a... - You ready to go?

Yeah, we have some tissue paper under his neck

so he doesn't strain it.

He's over there.

Hey, pal, you ready to play laser tag?

I can't go anywhere, Dad.

We need to save this bird.

Oh, no.

Hang in there, pal.

Hey, T, great news.

My vet can see him in like 20 minutes.

So I'll take him over there. You two just go have fun.

No. We're coming with you. I'm not leaving him.

I'll go get my shoes.

What's going on?

Uh, when we were feeding Scott the cat this morning,

he decided he wanted more than tuna.

Oh.

Well, that's... terrible, but I mean...

do we really need to take it to the vet?

I mean, should we even be touching it?

Maybe it has diseases or something.

Oh, I have to get this right.

It's my... It's my first morning just alone with Theo,

and... and that bird is not gonna die on my watch.

And then you bring the blanket around,

over the other arm.

And... voil�.

Swaddled baby.

Okay. You guys try it with the dolls in front of you.

Yeah. of course, if your real baby is this still

while you're doing it, you got bigger problems.

Oh, you are dark.

I like it.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm excited to have a kid.

But I am thrilled to have a built-in excuse

to get out of things.

Yes! "Oh, my God, your..."

Your one-man show sounds interesting.

I'd love to go. When is it?

Oh. Darn it to heck.

That's right in the middle of nap time.

"Well, break a leg."

If you guys are done fake-canceling plans,

I could use some real help over here.

Yeah. Graham, stop goofing around.

This is a two-person job.

I'm sorry I'm not "all in"

on this stupid birthing class you signed us up for

on the one day you knew I had my fantasy-football draft.

Yeah, you're right.

It's my fault for assuming that you would care more

about what it takes to raise your son

than coming in last place in your fantasy league

for the fourth year in a row.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't you embroider your list of complaints

on one of your Etsy pillows no one wants to buy?

That... That thing you need is back there, I think.

If you grew a pair and actually asked for a raise,

- I wouldn't need a second job. - You know what? You're right.

I see it. I see the thing I need.

If you put as much effort into your lineup as you do work,

maybe we wouldn't be in this situation.

Maybe if you could hold down a job

for more than a week and a half, we'd be on Easy Street.

We didn't set a date for brunch with them, did we?

No. It was very much up in the air.

Oh, thank God.

I'll get some more water.

Wow.

Man, that dude's fantasy-football league

has a better chance of going the distance

than that marriage does.

Yeah.

But they're gonna have a kid soon.

That should really help things.

That's nice.

Evan.

Gary.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too, bro.

Be careful. Try not to move his neck.

We'll take good care of him.

Don't worry.

Thanks, Doc.

Sure.

Okay. I just need a little information

to get you checked in.

- Name? - Eddie.

And when did you first notice Eddie was injured?

Oh. No. I'm Eddie.

Oh, thank God. I thought...

I thought you were asking about his wheelchair.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no. I-I am so sorry.

I-I meant...

What's the bird's name?

The bird doesn't have a name.

He... He was injured in our yard.

And the bird really means a lot to him,

so if there's anything you can do...

We'll do everything we can.

Thank you.

That bird's been out there every morning.

Why didn't I put the tuna on the back porch?

T, it is not your fault.

Do you think he's gonna be okay?

I know he is.

The nurse just said they're gonna do everything they can.

You just gotta think positive.

So, Molly, what made you want to become a home healthcare worker?

Well, I used to take care of my Gaga.

When I was a kid, I couldn't say "grandpa,"

so I said "Gaga," and it kinda stuck.

That's so cute.

And when he got older, he moved in with us,

and I was with him for the last five years of his life

pretty much every day, making him his meals,

getting him dressed, taking him on walks,

just making sure he was living his life to the fullest.

Lucky Gaga.

He was the first person to ever encourage me

to follow my dreams, and I am passionate about being a nurse,

because it allows me to bring joy to the people around me.

And if I can make a living doing that, that's what I want to do.

You seem perfect.

Delightful.

- We can't do this to you. - We can't do this to you.

Oh.

Well, Celeste, you certainly have a lot of experience,

and the nurse in Walter's doctor's office

had great things to say about you.

That's great to hear.

I've been fortunate enough to work with such wonderful people.

Yeah. About that.

I just need to reiterate that...

Walter can be a bit of a handful,

and I want to make sure that doesn't faze you.

You keep saying that, but he's been nothing but delightful

the whole time we've been sitting here.

Wait. W-What?

I said you'd been nothing but delightful

the whole time we've been sitting here.

Let me get this straight.

You... You think that I'm the 77-year-old man?

And you look amazing.

Huh?

It certainly is amazing.

Okay. Um, did you want any references?

So, the agency was a little unclear

about the drug-testing policy.

Thank you for coming in, Lucian.

We didn't even walk that last guy out.

Because he came in here eating his lunch.

Who eats a sandwich during an interview?

Now I gotta get the smell of egg salad out of here.

How much longer till the next dud shows up?

Not for another 15 minutes.

I guess he's early.

Or maybe Lucian forgot his bong.

Hey, you greet him.

I gotta take this deli to the trash chute.

If it seems like he's on drugs, eating liverwurst,

or thinks I'm a senior citizen,

can you have him gone before I'm back, please?

Get him off your lawn. Got it, Gaga.

Stop doing that.

No.

- Hi. - Hi.

You must be Regina. I'm Terrence.

Uh, sorry I'm a bit early.

My dad, he was in the service.

He always taught me if you're on time, you're late.

This is Rome.

Hi. You taking out the trash?

I did see the chute on the way up.

Let me grab that for you.

Be right back.

Is this guy as good as he seems?

Either that or we got a contact high from Lucian.

Would you like one? Hi.

You want...

- There you go. - Thank you.

Thank you. Have a good day.

Hey.

Do you want a water?

Thanks.

Look, I-I-I really don't want to cause any trouble,

but any information you have about Joseph would be helpful.

You know, when the cops came through

and trashed all his stuff, uh, we found this.

I just want to find him and give it back.

Joseph's his last name.

His first name's Alex.

Thank you.

But he's not here.

Couple days ago, the EMTs took him out on a stretcher.

I haven't seen him since.

Okay, everybody. Let's take a five-minute break.

All right.

I will be using my break to urinate,

'cause your son is kicking my bladder.

Well, just a heads-up...

The whole "I'm pregnant, so I'm gonna cut the line" thing

probably isn't gonna work here.

Huh.

It worked.

Yo, Gary, you mind if I join you?

Man, get over here with your...

what you have, peanut-butter-filled pretzels?

As soon as Claire hit her third trimester,

peanut butter was outlawed in our house.

Yeah. Maggie's smell-sensitive, too.

That's why I'm out here eating this hallway jerky.

When the instructor put that coconut lip whatever on,

I thought my lady was gonna pass out.

I don't even blame her. It was intense.

Hey, I could smell "Gilligan's Island" from two rows back.

Dude. Deep pull.

I love that show.

You remember the episode where Gilligan did something

that kept them from all being rescued?

Wait. Here's the thing I never understood.

Give it to me.

Why didn't they just tie him up,

like on the far side of the island...

- Way on the other side. - Get him out of the way.

Like, "You know what, little buddy?"

- "We will be right back for you." - No, we won't.

Hey, and don't even get me started on the Professor.

Hold on. Wait.

So we're supposed to believe this dude can make anything

out of a palm tree and a coconut,

but he can't patch up a freakin' boat?

That's hilarious!

Oh, my God. I never even thought of that.

Full disclosure, uh,

that's not the first time I've done that bit.

It's in my act.

Act?

Are you a stand-up?

Yes. Yes, I am.

You know the Beacon Comedy Club?

Yes, I know the Beacon.

I run an open mike on Mondays.

You should come by.

- I will come by. - I'll put you on the list.

Oh! I love being on the list.

- Evan? - Who doesn't love the list?

Oop. Here comes the wife.

- Zip up your jerky. - Zip up your jerky?

I really hope you guys are talking about snacks.

- Ah. - See?

This one.

You're a comedian too?

No. God, no.

One in a couple is more than enough.

No, I'm a professor.

Can you patch a boat?

Whoa. You, uh, done your whole act for him?

No! N... Okay, maybe.

A tight five.

We're a comedy duo now.

Wow.

Where do you teach?

I work at MIT.

Oh, I think I've heard of that.

That's right.

The only dumb thing she ever did was let me get her pregnant.

- Oh. - Boop.

Boop.

Hey.

She's starting up again.

- Ah. - Oh.

Let's hope Cindee slathered on more of that coconut lip gloss.

Cindee? Oh.

Oh, you mean Cinde-e, with two E's.

That's right. Sorry for the confusion.

- Don't mess that up. - Yeah.

My bad.

Let's all go back in together as a quad... quartet. Let's go in.

So, the thing is, my dad can be... difficult...

at times.

Most times.

All of the time.

Hey, I get it.

It's hard for someone who's used to having their own independence

suddenly need someone with them constantly.

That's why I like to think of it more as a budding friendship.

Yes, I'll look after Walter,

but there's much that I can learn from him as well.

Wow.

That's an amazing perspective.

Plus, you said he's a Marine, just like my dad,

so I'm used to that type of personality.

I grew up with it.

It's the same way you have an easier time navigating him

because you grew up with it your whole life.

Yeah. It's pretty much second nature at this point.

You know what?

You are just... You are fantastic.

You really are.

Problem is, getting my dad on board is gonna be kinda tricky.

I totally get it.

How about you take me by his place so I can get to meet him?

And then if it seems like it's a good fit, then...

maybe you guys can come up with an excuse to get out of there,

give me some time alone with him,

give him a chance to really get to know me.

Uh, that would be perfect.

Oh, no. Wait. Wait. Wait.

I'm coaching the debate team this afternoon.

Oh, I'll take you by.

He likes me better anyway.

It's not even close.

- Aren't they great? - Who?

What do you mean, "who"? Evan and Claire.

Who are Evan and Claire?

Shh! Babe, they're right there.

You and Claire shared a moment of hatred

with people that use stinky lip gloss,

and my main man Ev is a stand-up comic.

Oh, God.

Is he one of those people who's just always on?

No. Not at all.

In fact, it took me a while to discover it.

Oh. That's why you've fallen into your Seinfeld cadence.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I love these people.

Ah, ah, ah.

N- o. No, no. - What the hell?

You are cut off.

Next break, you're not peeing, okay?

You're gonna hang out with Evan and Claire the MIT professor.

Wait. She's a professor?

I tried to tell you that.

The smartest, funniest baby in Boston

is just chillin' in that belly, and during the next break,

I'm going to need you to bring it.

I will tell you when I'm gonna bring it.

Besides, you don't even know that they're that great.

What else do you know about them?

I just told you so much.

Okay, well, I'm sorry if I don't trust the immediate judgment

of the guy who, earlier today, had us summering

with Tony and Carmela over there.

Are you gonna be jealous

when you're not the only baby in our household?

- Yep, that's fair. - Mm-hmm.

What are you doing?

Taking notes.

No, you're not.

No, I'm not.

I am googling our new best friends

so that I can show you why you should open your mind

to be... Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh.

Dr. Claire Fisher,

professor of behavioral analytics.

I don't know what that means,

but it sounds like it involves overthinking things,

which means you're gonna love her.

Look at that professional head shot.

You fold your arms, Claire.

No need to analyze that. I like it.

Stop.

You did pretty good.

Yeah. I did.

Hey, I texted Katherine we're still at the vet.

She texted back "slob goal"?

Autocorrect.

She's texting under the table so the judge can't see her.

"Slob goal" is "sounds good."

Hey, you guys, check it out.

I can eat chips all day and not gain a pound.

Enjoy it while you can, kid. Mind if we cut in?

I need to see how many chips Sergeant has had

- since his last visit. - Oh, sure.

If you want, you can hold the leash.

- Really? - Sit.

Good boy, Sergeant.

Did it die?

The bird is still hanging on,

but there's nothing else we can do.

At this point, the most humane thing would be to euthanize it.

Thank you.

Um...

Do I press this?

Could we have a minute?

He's gonna want to say goodbye.

Of course. Just let me know when you're ready, okay?

Okay. Thank you.

Great.

It's my first morning with just Theo and I,

and I have go break his heart?

I mean, how's that for top-shelf parenting?

Hey.

Parenting isn't always about being able to fix it.

It's about being there to support him when you can't.

Let's tell him together.

Okay.

Is the bird okay?

Um...

Listen, T, the vet tried everything they could,

but the bird isn't gonna make it.

The doctor said the best thing that we could do for him now

is give him a drug to help him go in peace.

No.

No. We can't do that!

There's nothing more they can do for him.

The bird is suffering.

No, Dad. We can't give up!

Hey, T?

T.

If the bird's still alive, they have to keep trying.

They've done everything they can.

Your dad's right. It's the only option.

No. We can't give up.

That's what Uncle Jon did.

Buddy, Uncle Jon did not give up.

But that's what you said.

What? No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did.

The night he died,

I heard you and Uncle Rome and Uncle Gary talking.

You were so mad at him.

You said, "How could he just give up?"

Listen, T.

When Uncle Jon died, you were very young,

and I don't think we did the best job

explaining to you what happened.

You are right. I did say that.

Because I was hurt,

and... I didn't fully understand what was happening myself.

Now that you're older, I think we should talk about it.

Uncle Jon had depression.

Like Uncle Rome?

Yes.

And part of the reason Uncle Rome is doing so well

is because of what we learned when we lost Jon.

Look, sometimes when you're depressed

and you don't get the help you need,

you can have some really bad thoughts.

You can be in so much pain that even though

the pain is temporary, you feel like it's gonna last forever.

Your brain tells you it is never gonna end.

And I think that's what Uncle Jon's brain was telling him.

And unfortunately, we didn't know,

so we couldn't help him realize that those feelings would pass.

Even though he loved us and we loved him...

I think all he could feel was his suffering.

And so he ended his temporary pain in a very permanent way.

And I'm just sorry

we haven't had this conversation sooner, pal.

Me too.

The bird's not gonna get better, is he?

No, T, he's not.

And the... the pain the bird's in from his injuries,

it's not a passing thing.

He's suffering.

I know it's really hard to let him go, but it's...

It's the compassionate thing to do.

But I really think that if you wanted to say goodbye

and tell the bird how much he meant to you,

that'd be really nice.

Okay.

- Thanks, Greta. - Sure, pal.

I cannot believe how long he's been carrying that.

I mean, I know the last couple years have been tough,

and some of that has to do with me and Katherine

and me relapsing and me getting in my accident.

So basically me.

But even before that,

he had these night terrors, and... he was just so anxious.

He still is.

This morning, he... He wouldn't eat his breakfast

until he knew Katherine got to work okay.

I think for a long time now, he's felt like

he's had to take care of the people

who are supposed to be taking care of him.

Well, hopefully that'll turn around for him soon.

I think it already is... especially now that he has you.

Oh. Uh, thank you.

Believe me, I plan on giving him

a whole host of things to worry about.

Okay. So one more slow, deep breath through the nose.

And exhale through the mouth.

Excellent work.

Now that we're all relaxed, let's have another potty break.

Okay.

So, Bloom, I need you to play it cool, okay?

Smile a little bit, show some teeth,

maybe crack a joke or two, but remember he is a comedian,

so don't make it seem like you're trying.

- You worry about you. - You worry about you.

Oh.

Dude, I think I came up with another...

Another little something for your "Gilligan's Island" bit.

Now, uh, the Professor, he can do anything, right?

- Right. - Can't patch a boat.

But he kept the batteries in the radio going

for what, nine seasons?

You think... Do you think you can maybe use that?

Yeah. I can workshop that.

I got other stuff. I got other stuff, too.

We got a joke dude.

Sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier.

- I'm Maggie. - Claire.

Nice to meet you.

When are you due?

Wow. I cannot believe you would ask me that.

I'm not pregnant.

I'm just kidding.

If we weren't in a birthing class, that would kill.

Yes.

No, this little one's popping out in about a month.

I haven't been able to think about it

with all the prep I have to do to go on maternity leave.

Oh, my God. Tell me about it.

You talking about being a mom but also having to balance work?

Mom, work. Yeah? Same boat.

You should... You should discuss that.

Okay. I've got this, Jerry.

I thought his name was Gary.

Yeah. It should be.

- Babe, you still want those chips? - Yeah.

Oh, unless they're salt and vinegar, in which case...

I will tell them to go straight to hell.

Thank you.

Bloom, there are new snacks to be wrangled,

so, uh, what should I say if, uh,

if they're Cool Ranch flavor?

Uh, you say, "Yes, please."

Oh, wait, but don't do the thing where you say

we're gonna split a bag and then you end up eating all of it.

I swear, if I order nachos and I don't get a separate plate,

my entire dinner is salsa and sour cream.

It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

You have a lovely home.

And I'm aware of all of its contents,

so don't even think about taking anything.

That's Walter for "Nice to meet you, too."

We won't stay too long.

I know you want to watch some golf.

I'm not watching anything.

Still can't figure out what's wrong with that damn remote.

Oh. Yeah.

You know what?

These... These ones can be pretty tricky.

But I'm sure you probably already tried pressing

the power and menu button at the same time to reset it.

What?

Oh, I just read somewhere that by pressing those two buttons

at the same time, it reboots it.

But I'm sure you probably already tried that.

I did.

But I'm gonna do it again.

So it's the menu button and the...

Uh, power.

- Power! - Mm-hmm.

I know.

Oh!

Look at that. You fixed it.

With a little help from you, son.

"Son"?

Oh, man, they're doing one of these gamer profiles.

I love these.

Well, sit down and watch it with me, why don't you?

Don't mind if I do.

You don't mind if I take off my pants, do you?

As long as you don't mind that I keep mine on.

I do like that Alex Nor�n fella.

Bye.

Oh. Hey, Soph. What's going on?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Slow down.

I don't wanna jinx this, but it sure seems like

Maggie and Claire are getting on like two pregnant peas in a pod.

Oh, which is great,

'cause, bro, one of the reasons I'm scared to have kids...

And this is gonna sound crazy, but...

Is it because you don't want your kids to choose

what dumb dorks you get to be friends with?

Yes! Oh, my...

Well, and, to be honest,

Claire's not the quickest to warm up to people.

Are you kidding me?

Maggie hates everyone.

No, no. I love the stroller.

I just wish it came in a better color.

Oh, I know. But I do like the hunter green.

Wait. It comes in hunter green?

Oh, uh, yeah.

What?

All right. So, I just registered for it.

- Oh, my gosh. - Yeah.

Let me show you.

Uh... Uh, babe. Babe.

- Bloom. - Hmm? Yeah. Hold on.

- I'm just gonna show Claire th... - Maggie, j...

Is that me?

What?

Why is my picture on here?

Is that you?

Oh. Cute power suit.

Okay. This is... This is a very silly confession,

and once I come out with it, it's gonna be hilarious

and you can use it in one of your skits.

Remember when we were talking about this one hating everybody?

- What? - You know who you are.

- Okay. - Well, I wanted to prove to her

how cool you both were.

So I did a little research, and turns out,

you're even cooler than we thought,

and not just because you were named

Best New Face at the Montreal Just for Laughs Comedy Festival,

even though that is what the other tab told me.

You're making it creepier.

- I think you're right. - Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

This seems like the type of problem

one of your listeners would call into your show with.

"You're in the room with Dr. Bloom!"

- What? - We're huge fans.

I recognized you from your poster as soon as we saw you.

We just... We didn't know how to tell you.

Yeah, it didn't occur to us to just google you

and let you stumble on the results, so...

Ha! That's funny. He's funny!

I've been saying that all morning!

This is crazy.

Obviously, we were... Oh, we were meant to be friends.

So you two better get along.

- Work it out. - Boop!

Work it out.

We should take a selfie, uh, commemorating the moment

that we all decided to be in each other's lives,

and our kids can look back at it and they can...

They can love it just as much as we do.

Let's go! Let's do this!

Everybody, fold your arms like Claire.

Okay.

All right. It's a good pose.

It is. It is. It is.

Oh, sir, you are the Ginger to my Mary Ann.

The problem with merit-based organ donation

is who decides who's worthy?

I mean, the whole system is subjective

and therefore inherently flawed.

Okay. Okay.

Brianna, you have one minute to rebut.

Okay.

No disrespect to the opposing team,

but that argument's the most ridiculous thing

I've ever heard.

In the first place, you're assuming that...

Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ugh.

Just hold that thought, and before you say,

"No phones in the classroom," Kevin,

it's my dad, and I'm the teacher,

and I probably should have led with that.

Gimme... Just...

Hey, Pop, uh, how's it going with you and Terrence?

I hate that guy!

What? W-Wait.

I-Isn't he there with you right now?

Yeah, but he knows I hate him.

You know I hate you, right?

He knows.

Well, what... what happened?

Gina said you guys were watching golf together.

We were, until someone started talking about Patrick Reed

and how the ball he picked up wasn't embedded,

even though me and all the other officials ruled it was.

Okay. But, Pops, see, that's how amazing Terrence is.

He understands what you just said.

Look. Look at the replay!

I looked at the replay!

I also saw it the first time.

Both times, embedded.

I don't want this man in my house.

Dad!

You know what? It's okay, Rome.

Don't worry about it.

I don't want to be here any more than he wants me here.

Good luck finding somebody.

Oh. And it wasn't embedded!

Don't let the door hit you in your ass on the way out!

I can't believe you got so upset over a golf ball, Pop!

You think it's about a golf ball because you're not hearing me.

I don't need a stranger in my house.

Well, I think you do.

Well, I don't want one.

And I don't want you setting your house on fire.

Gina told you about that, huh?

Well, the real mess was the one she made

with the fire extinguisher.

Listen, Pop.

Tyrell is out of town for the rest of the school year,

which means his room... is open.

What are you saying?

You still there?

Yeah. Yep.

I'm still here.

I think you should move in with us, Pop.

I don't want to do that.

And I don't want you to.

But I think it's for the best.

Don't you need to run it by Gina?

No, no. Actually, Gina's the one who suggested it.

Three weeks ago.

First time we ever went to bed angry.

So, what do you say?

Well, if that's what you want.

Oh, my God.

Boston General.

Hi. I'm calling about a friend.

I think he was admitted two days ago.

Alex Joseph?

Give me a second to check.

Thank you.

Oh. Um, I need to transfer you.

Okay. Thanks.

Hi. You were calling about Mr. Joseph?

Yeah. Is he okay?

Are you family?

I'm a friend. Why?

I'm so sorry to have to tell you this,

but he passed away yesterday.

I can't believe he's gone.

I just hate to think that he was alone.

I mean, how many other people are dying like this?

And if we hadn't called, would anyone even know?

Let me see.

Put your gloves on.

We're making sandwiches.

Come on, T. Let's grab your bag.

Your dad's waiting.

Do you hear that?

Greta, it's a nest!

Oh, wow.

Apparently he was a girl.

Oh, well, it's all fluid, dude.

Do you think they're gonna make it?

Oh, with our help, absolutely.

Maybe I... Maybe I shouldn't go to my dad's.

No, you should go.

I'll be here.

Don't worry. We're gonna take care of you.

Why don't we start...

by moving this nest out of Scott's reach?

Good call.

Check it out.

I put him in my phone as "Dear Evan Handsome."

They're great, right? Admit it. They're great.

I invited them to our home for dinner on Sunday.

Obviously, I think they are great.

Yeah. Well, you better check that 'tude on Sunday.

Uh, excuse me, my new friend Claire loves my 'tude.

Oh, remind me when they're over here

to ask Claire for her midwife's number.

Midwife?

Yeah. They're doing a home birth.

Home... Like...

What do you mean? Like, in their home?

Yes. Home birth means birth in a home.

We were just talking about how great it would be

to give birth not surrounded by the stress of a hospital,

and she told me their plan.

I thought it sounded pretty cool.

I think we should look into it.

Oh. First I need to pee, though.

Yeah. Home birth, uh...

That sounds like one of Evan's bits.

Babe, I think it was a bit, you know?

Right?

I mean, even Gilligan would find a way to get to the hospital.

Turkey and cheese?

Yeah. There's some fruit in there, too.

Thank you.

Do you want to go down that way

and I'll hand out the rest over here?

Mm-hmm.

Hey. Would you like one?

Hey.

Oh, thanks.

Debra passed away a couple weeks ago.

Oh, Dustin.

You're right. This has been the worst year.

D-Dustin?

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