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1
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,601
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:22,099 --> 00:01:23,633
Here it is, gentlemen.
3
00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:27,503
Enough kaboom to turn Gotham
into the world's biggest pothole.
4
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,669
What say we start the bidding
at one million?
5
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,601
-One million.
-Two million.
6
00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:35,534
-Three million.
-Five.
7
00:01:37,266 --> 00:01:41,770
Gentlemen, please. Don't insult me
with nickel-and-dime bids.
8
00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:46,003
The man who walks out with this bomb
walks out with Gotham in his pocket.
9
00:01:46,433 --> 00:01:48,802
Yours to pick clean or blow sky-high.
10
00:01:49,032 --> 00:01:51,367
Your call. What am l bid?
11
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,102
JOKER: How about nothing?
12
00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:58,036
lero, zip, zilch, nada.
13
00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:02,035
My personal check for bupkis.
14
00:02:02,132 --> 00:02:05,635
Drawn on
the First National Bank of Squadoo.
15
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,101
(JoKER LAUGHS)
16
00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:09,167
(GUNS CoCKING)
17
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,600
Sory, boys,
18
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,367
this lot is sold.
19
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,469
(ALL SCREAMING)
20
00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:24,001
(CHUCKLING)
21
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,267
(GRoANS)
22
00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:30,001
Whoops.
23
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:32,134
(SCREAMS)
24
00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:37,434
You really should loosen up, dear.
25
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,435
Have a laugh now and then.
26
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,801
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
27
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,835
That's so much more pleasant.
28
00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:54,536
MAYOR: Alerting the public now
would on)y cause a panic, tommissioner.
29
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:58,436
But if that madman plans to use
the bomb, we've got to clear the city.
30
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,703
MAYOR: l can't evacuate 10 million
people on your susp�c�ons.
31
00:03:02,299 --> 00:03:04,434
We don't even know if the bomb's
still in Gotham.
32
00:03:04,867 --> 00:03:06,635
Keep me posted if you Find anything.
33
00:03:08,032 --> 00:03:10,167
The Joker will be
extra cautious this time.
34
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:11,600
We'll have to think like him.
35
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,935
Or recruit someone who does.
36
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,634
(SINGING)
37
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:26,201
(DooR oPENS)
38
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:27,634
Ms. Quinn.
39
00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:28,967
(GASPS)
40
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:31,666
(GRoANS)
41
00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:33,167
(GAGGING)
42
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:38,836
Don't you knock before entering
a lady's boudoir?
43
00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:42,435
-l need help.
-Well, you've come to the right place.
44
00:03:42,766 --> 00:03:44,167
l recommend a lobotomy.
45
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,934
The Joker's stolen a bomb.
46
00:03:47,199 --> 00:03:49,034
lf l can't get to him in time
47
00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:52,268
this city and everyone in it
is going up in a mushroom cloud.
48
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,968
So you want me to
turn squealer on Mr. J. Ha!
49
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,302
Sory, B-man, no deal.
50
00:04:00,933 --> 00:04:03,035
l've talked to Gordon
and Dr. Bartholomew.
51
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,536
You help me find the Joker, and they'll
write your ticket out of here.
52
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:07,867
Whee!
53
00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:10,369
lf you promise no double-cross.
54
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,369
Ah, shoot, take all the fun out of life.
55
00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:16,601
l don't have time foriokes.
56
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,535
Okay, okay, l promise.
57
00:04:19,766 --> 00:04:20,766
Shake?
58
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,034
Oh, the irony of it.
59
00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:31,436
The grim, stalwart Dark Knight
and his greatest female adversary
60
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,635
fighting together to save the city.
61
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,168
l sense a lack of trust.
62
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:46,635
Sure you don't need any help
keeping Z�ppy under contro)?
63
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:47,968
l'm fine.
64
00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:51,302
Besides, l need you to be ready
iF Gordon's men get any leads.
65
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,601
-l'll signal if there's trouble.
-You got it.
66
00:04:54,132 --> 00:04:56,467
-HARLEY: l wanna listen to the radio.
-Don't!
67
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,168
(TIRES SCREECHING)
68
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:10,967
Oops.
69
00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:13,034
Listen, and listen good.
70
00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:16,469
You don't touch anything, say anything
71
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,601
or do anything unless l tell you!
72
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,968
-Got it?
-Yes, sir.
73
00:05:24,266 --> 00:05:27,002
So far, Joker hasn't been seen
at any of his old hideouts.
74
00:05:27,466 --> 00:05:30,335
l want you to show me the last place
he used when he escaped.
75
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,266
Okay.
76
00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:41,969
This used to be our special love nest.
77
00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:48,769
Have a look around while l slip into
something more comfortable.
78
00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:50,467
No tricks.
79
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,868
Hey, we have a deal, remember?
80
00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:14,035
-(HYENAS GROWLING)
-(yELps)
81
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,835
(HYENAS SNARLING)
82
00:06:25,666 --> 00:06:26,833
Whee!
83
00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:31,303
Ah! l feel like a human being again.
84
00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:35,769
Hi, babies! Mommy's home!
85
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,801
Are you the sweetest babies?
86
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:44,669
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
87
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:49,168
How do you like our ha-hacienda?
88
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:50,701
Charming.
89
00:06:51,299 --> 00:06:52,933
Especially these monitors.
90
00:06:53,199 --> 00:06:55,501
Between the cops,
city hall and the mayor's office,
91
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,168
Joker has the whole city wired.
92
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:58,833
He's a genius.
93
00:06:59,299 --> 00:07:00,700
What's the attraction, Quinn?
94
00:07:01,466 --> 00:07:03,367
This sick in Fatuation with the Joker.
95
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,635
Look, Bats, when l was a doctor
96
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,469
l was always listening
to other people's problems.
97
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:14,705
Then l met Mr. J., who listened to me
for a change and made everything fun.
98
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:18,867
You think it's funny
when he hurts people?
99
00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:20,767
lt's iust a ioke.
100
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,001
Hope you're still laughing
when it's your turn.
101
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,667
Hmph.
102
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,102
BATMAN: Meet us at
the Apex novelty factory.
103
00:07:29,299 --> 00:07:32,635
Quinn says it's an old hideout.
But the Joker may be using it again.
104
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,934
l'm on my way.
105
00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:47,769
-Grab on.
-l can do it myseIF, thank you.
106
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,134
Ha-ha! Ow!
107
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,200
(LAUGHS FLIRTINGLY)
108
00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:57,800
(SCREAMING)
109
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:09,667
Sneak, sneak, sneak.
110
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:11,467
-Shh.
-Shh.
111
00:08:11,666 --> 00:08:15,202
What do you mean, ''Shh''?
No one's been in this dump for years.
112
00:08:18,266 --> 00:08:20,101
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
113
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,202
(PANICKED CHMER)
114
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:37,834
HARLEY: Uh-oh.
115
00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:41,700
(BmMAN GRoANS)
116
00:08:44,032 --> 00:08:46,334
Hey, guys, look who l got.
117
00:08:46,766 --> 00:08:47,867
(GRoANS)
118
00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:49,934
BOXY: Well, well.
119
00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:51,534
lf it ain't the big, bad Batman
120
00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:53,701
come to break up
Boxy Bennett's little social club.
121
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:57,168
lt's gonna cost you, freak, big time.
122
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,302
Hi, Boxy. Long time no see.
123
00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:02,767
Harley Quinn.
124
00:09:03,132 --> 00:09:05,868
Last l heard, they tossed you in
the squirrel Farm and swallowed the key.
125
00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:08,001
What you doing with the Bat?
126
00:09:09,099 --> 00:09:10,366
(GULPS)
127
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:14,102
Come on, you don't think
l was working with Batman?
128
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:18,136
l know you'd blow us both away
if you thought that.
129
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:19,967
You thought right, sugar.
130
00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:24,300
Phew.
131
00:09:24,633 --> 00:09:26,835
So, you ain't seen Mr. J. around,
have you?
132
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:27,967
Nope.
133
00:09:28,032 --> 00:09:30,300
You know, l never could figure
what a cute little number like yourself
134
00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:32,034
saw in a slob like the Joker.
135
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,469
Especially when there are suave guys
like me around.
136
00:09:36,266 --> 00:09:37,433
Now, Boxy.
137
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,602
Sure, my pudding's
a little temperamental.
138
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:46,169
But, gee, what relationship
doesn't have its ups and downs?
139
00:09:48,766 --> 00:09:50,134
(ALL GASP IN CoNFUSloN)
140
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,834
Ha!
141
00:09:54,633 --> 00:09:55,667
A flat.
142
00:09:56,199 --> 00:09:57,867
(SoFT MUSIC PLAYING)
143
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,604
(SINGING) l neyer knew
That our romance had ended
144
00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:08,535
Unt�( you poisoned my food
145
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:12,002
And l thought it was a lark
146
00:10:12,466 --> 00:10:15,168
When you kicked me in the park
147
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,536
But now l think it was rude
148
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,870
l never knew that
you and l were finished
149
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,602
Unti( that bottle hit my head
150
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,801
Though l tried to be alooF
151
00:10:34,032 --> 00:10:36,334
When you pushed me offthe rooF
152
00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:40,702
l Feel our romance is dead
153
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:47,170
lt wouldn't have been so bad
Ifyou had told me
154
00:10:47,666 --> 00:10:51,503
That someone had taken my place
155
00:10:53,099 --> 00:10:57,770
But no
No, you didn't even scold me
156
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:02,937
You just tr�ed to disFigure my Face
157
00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:09,604
You'll never know
How this heart of m�ne is breaking
158
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,336
lt loo_s so hopeless, but then
159
00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:17,602
Life used to be so placid
160
00:11:17,666 --> 00:11:20,702
Won't you please put down that ac�d?
161
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:26,872
And say that we're sweethearts again
162
00:11:28,666 --> 00:11:31,168
(ALL CHEERING)
163
00:11:31,867 --> 00:11:34,135
MAN 1 : Yeah.
MAN 2: All right, baby!
164
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:41,935
Whoo! All right, B and R!
165
00:11:49,766 --> 00:11:51,100
ROBIN: Hey, ugly.
166
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,767
They're all working together.
167
00:12:01,299 --> 00:12:02,299
(RoBIN GRUNTS)
168
00:12:08,132 --> 00:12:09,333
(GRoWLS)
169
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,101
Let's go, Quinn!
170
00:12:11,433 --> 00:12:12,600
Quinn!
171
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:13,967
HARLEY: Whee!
172
00:12:14,032 --> 00:12:15,767
Bombs away!
173
00:12:16,533 --> 00:12:17,934
-Huh?
-(ALL vELp)
174
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:20,801
Yes!
175
00:12:21,266 --> 00:12:22,433
(SHRIEKS)
176
00:12:25,666 --> 00:12:27,601
Did you see the way
l handled those creeps?
177
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:28,967
Pow! Bam!
178
00:12:29,032 --> 00:12:31,334
Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out.
179
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,768
What was she be Fore she went bonkers?
180
00:12:35,132 --> 00:12:36,633
A clinical psychiatrist.
181
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,834
Figures.
182
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,767
_____5____�2\code(0135)___M'
0_r____go
183
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:51,201
l even checked with Gordon again,
and the mayor still re Fuses
184
00:12:51,299 --> 00:12:53,000
to let the cops evacuate the city.
185
00:12:53,199 --> 00:12:55,167
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
186
00:12:57,132 --> 00:12:58,299
Oh, it's brilliant.
187
00:12:59,666 --> 00:13:01,634
Way to go, Mr. J.!
188
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,101
What are you saying?
189
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,435
Oh, come on, Bats.
190
00:13:06,099 --> 00:13:09,101
You've seen how my pudding
keeps an eye on Gotham.
191
00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:11,301
What better way to
t�e up the cops
192
00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,301
than to tie up the may0r?
193
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:20,134
Whoo-hoo!
194
00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:29,169
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
195
00:13:35,933 --> 00:13:39,102
See, do l know how
Mr. J. thinks, or what? Ha!
196
00:13:40,132 --> 00:13:43,835
And here you thought l was just another
bubble-headed blond bimbo.
197
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:47,202
Well, the joke's on you.
l'm not even a real blond.
198
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,301
Good job.
199
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,134
Huh? Hey!
200
00:13:57,766 --> 00:14:01,002
-What gives?
-l can't risk you warning the Joker.
201
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,169
Would l do a thing like that?
202
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,001
Hey, let me out! Come on!
203
00:14:09,666 --> 00:14:12,368
Boy, you iust can't trust some people.
204
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:24,837
Nothing like a moonlight dip,
eh, Mr. Mayor? (LAUGHING)
205
00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:28,202
Please, iust make your ransom demands
and get on with it.
206
00:14:30,199 --> 00:14:32,935
Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.
207
00:14:33,199 --> 00:14:36,135
-You can't mean--
-Oh, yes, indeedy-do.
208
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:40,937
lnstead of taking you, the cops
and the Batman down separately,
209
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,335
l'm going to blast you all at once.
210
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,035
Send down the plane, boys.
211
00:14:47,299 --> 00:14:49,100
We're blowing town.
212
00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:50,434
Literally.
213
00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:52,100
Yes, si_.
214
00:14:52,867 --> 00:14:54,835
But all those innocent people.
215
00:14:55,132 --> 00:15:00,604
Some joke on them, eh?
Think of it as the ultimate punch line.
216
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,002
(JoKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
217
00:15:10,466 --> 00:15:11,466
(GRoANS)
218
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,867
Ha!
219
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,634
(YELPS)
220
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:30,467
(GRoANS)
221
00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,368
(GRUNTING)
222
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:44,335
What? Hey!
223
00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:52,336
Gee, it's amazing what you find
in people's glove compartments.
224
00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:54,534
Harley?
225
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,369
Hi, pudding. Miss me?
226
00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:02,101
You clever little minx.
227
00:16:02,466 --> 00:16:04,334
How did you escape from Arkham?
228
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:07,135
Batman sprung me so l could find you.
229
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,869
Had me all locked up
in his bad old car, too.
230
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:12,500
__.
231
00:16:13,466 --> 00:16:15,334
Quinn, we had a deal!
232
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,870
Deal's off, B-man. No one ever said
anything about hurting Mr. J.
233
00:16:20,199 --> 00:16:22,601
(VEHICLE APPRoACHING)
234
00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:36,034
Oh!
235
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,435
AUTOMATED VOlCE: 1_minute countdown
sequence has been engaged.
236
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,767
Oh, my Lord.
237
00:16:44,366 --> 00:16:45,600
Come, my dear.
238
00:16:45,666 --> 00:16:49,770
We'll get to a safe altitude,
then watch the Fireworks.
239
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,768
lt's lucky you were here, Harley.
240
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,636
The countdown sequence
didn't leave Joker enough time
241
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,668
to swing by Arkham and pick you up.
242
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,467
Quiet, brat.
243
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:01,436
You were gonna come back for me,
weren't you, pudding?
244
00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:03,935
Of course, pumpkin pie.
245
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,836
lt's iust that... Well, here you are,
246
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:09,502
so l can save myself a trip.
247
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:11,435
But what about all our friends?
248
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:16,504
lvy and Two-Face and hat guy
and lizard man and puppet head and-
249
00:17:16,967 --> 00:17:18,101
What about them?
250
00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:19,934
Don't forget your little pets.
251
00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:24,437
(GASPS) The babies!
We can't leave the babies!
252
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,768
l'll buy you a goldfish!
253
00:17:26,833 --> 00:17:29,135
-Let's go!
-No!
254
00:17:29,366 --> 00:17:30,667
Why, you little-
255
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,801
(GRoANS)
256
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,801
You know, Bats, l got a crazy idea
257
00:17:57,867 --> 00:18:01,036
Mr. J. may not be the guy
for me after all.
258
00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:02,600
(HARLEY SHRIEKS)
259
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:16,701
(GASPS)
260
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:37,266
Ha!
261
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,036
-Go around again!
-But, boss...
262
00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,669
-l said do it!
-Yes, sir.
263
00:18:58,933 --> 00:19:00,267
(TIMER BEEPING)
264
00:19:01,132 --> 00:19:02,266
(BEEPING SToPS)
265
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,201
-Made it with time to spare.
-(pLANE AppRoAcHINc)
266
00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:15,834
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
267
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,936
That bomb's going off
even iF l go with it!
268
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,268
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
269
00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:49,369
Laugh this off, pudding!
270
00:20:09,132 --> 00:20:10,166
BOTH: Whoa!
271
00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:12,934
(SCREAMS)
272
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,101
(CoUGHING)
273
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:51,703
-Freeze, clown.
-Quinn, stop!
274
00:20:52,299 --> 00:20:53,833
He's mine, Bats.
275
00:20:58,366 --> 00:21:00,301
You wouldn't dare.
276
00:21:02,199 --> 00:21:03,934
You don't have the guts.
277
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,201
Not in a million years would you-
278
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:10,534
(BoTH GASP)
279
00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:16,201
(BoTH SIGH IN RELIEF)
280
00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:28,134
(LAUGHS)
281
00:21:28,266 --> 00:21:31,102
Baby, you're the greatest.
282
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,035
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
19404
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