All language subtitles for The Rookie - 05x18 - Double Trouble.WEB-DL.NTb.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

- Previously on "The Rookie"...
- You're back.

INTERVIEWER: Another crazy
story... how could I stay away?

This gonna take long?
Because, uh, we got work to do.

INTERVIEWER: I heard
you were happy with how

- the last documentary came out.
- Oh, my God.

It was so good, and... and...

[LAUGHS] And I got so many compliments.

Oh, that's great. How about you?

- Didn't see it.
- [DOG BARKS]

We found four kilos of black
tar heroin inside of it.

- What? Yo, that's crazy.
- LUCY: Um...

That is disturbing.

JUICY: [LAUGHS] Oh,
what is taking so long?

- Do I look okay?
- LISA: You look hot.

- Right?
- [CHUCKLES]

God, I mean, this lip balm.

- It's fire.
- So, what are we doing here?

Girl, you know what we're doing.

No. For, like, posperiority.

[CHUCKLES] I think it's "posterity."

Mnh-mnh. That don't sound right, girl.

Okay. So...

[MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.]

- ... I'm waiting for Jake to get out of prison.
- Mm-hmm.

He just did six months on a drug charge,

and I found out today he's
getting released early.

Ooh. For good behavior?

Girl. Overcrowding.

- [BUZZER SOUNDS]
- [SCREAMS] Baby!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! [LAUGHS]

- Mmm!
- Mmm.

Baby. Oh, I missed you.

- Yeah. I missed you, too.
- [CHUCKLES] Yo, Lisa!

- [SCREAMS]
- [LAUGHS] Hey!

- How are you doing?
- I'm good! How are you?

- Good.
- All right. All right.

What do you want to do first?

You know what I want to do first.

No. After that.

You know, you said you
been thinking in prison.

Are we going straight or what?

Nah. Screw that. Let's be bad.

Yes.

- [GRUNTS]
- You ready?

[DOOR OPENS]

- Ahh.
- [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Drop the gun!

♪

Get off me! Get off me!

This was an assassination.

- Baby? Baby, look out!
- [HORN HONKS]

- Look out! Look out!
- [METAL CRUNCHES]

Sergeant.

SGT. GREY: Hey. Good morning.

Good morning. How you been?

Fine. Uh, busy.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah?

Yeah. Um... I-I'm sorry.

I'm still a little unclear what
your documentary is about this time.

I mean, what are the odds that
two cops would end up arresting

two criminals who look just like them?

- Small.
- Infinitesimal.

- And this is gonna be, like, a whole movie?
- I hope so.

All I can do is start filming
and see where it takes me.

- Here she is.
- Hi.

[SIGHS] I'm a little nervous.

Why? You're an old pro at this point.

I-I know, but, you know,
the other documentaries,

they weren't about... me. [CHUCKLES]

You're not interviewing
me with Tim this time?

No, I thought it would be valuable

- to hear from you separately.
- [SIGHING] Okay.

So, how did you first meet Jake Butler?

A case. My roommate, Tamara,

bought a car at a police auction,

only to find drugs hidden inside.

So, we traced that back
to Jake and arrested him.

Which brings us to the
elephant in the room.

Right. Yeah. The whole look-alike thing.

He really didn't look that much like me.

♪

How can you say that?
You look almost identical.

- Says you.
- Says me. They could have been twins.

Why do you think they called him Dim?

- INTERVIEWER: Wait. What?
- [CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS] Oh, yeah.

We nicknamed Tim's doppelganger "Dim."

INTERVIEWER: That's funny,
but also a little prejudicial,

don't you think?

In what way?

I mean, the fact that you were
denigrating his intelligence

comes to mind.

I mean, if the shoe fits.

Look, when you have been doing
this job as long as I have,

it becomes very clear
that most criminals are...

well, dim.

No comment.

Well, just 'cause you're too nice.

I-I would say a good 70%
of the people we arrest

couldn't explain how
a revolving door works.

Okay. Maybe 30%.

Yeah. Anyway, the job
is super stressful,

and cops have a dark sense of humor.

- So a nickname was born.
- INTERVIEWER: Wait.

If you called Jake "Dim,"
what did you call Sava?

Hello?!

- Juicy.
- Juicy.

Juicy.

[LAUGHS]

Juicy.

- [LAUGHS]
- They called her... "Juicy."

INTERVIEWER: "They"?

[SIGHS] We did. We... Look, I...

I really tried not to,
but it was a losing battle.

And then you and Sergeant Bradford

went undercover as your doppelgangers,

- Dim and Juicy.
- Yes.

So, uh, Tim first, and then I joined him

on a UC operation in Las Vegas,

where we put some very
bad people behind bars.

And was it around this time

that you and Tim became intimate?

N... [SIGHS] N-No.

We... We had to pretend at intimacy

while we were undercover.

But Tim and I were both in
relationships at the time.

We didn't start dating
until after, you know,

when... when we were both single again.

I want to dial in on that.

Do we have to? I...

The odds of you and
Tim coming face-to-face

with Dim and Juicy are
already astronomical,

but for both couples to hook up...

- Interview's over. I need Chen.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Oh. What's wrong?

Not here.

- Uh, excuse me.
- INTERVIEWER: Yeah.

♪

Nolan and Celina responded
to a missing-persons call.

It was Sava. Jake's missing.

What?

♪

Oh.

Uh, my boyfriend, Jake, he's missing.

I... I-I can't find him.

- Hello?! Hello?!
- Yeah. No. Okay. Yeah.

Uh, just slow down.

Start at the beginning.

- Tell us what happened.
- Okay.

Uh, we... we were in the study.

He was getting a beer,
grabbing me my lobster salad,

and, um, he just disappeared.

- I don't know where he went.
- INTERVIEWER: Back up.

What were Dim and Juicy doing
at a Beverly Hills mansion?

Have you seen the movie "Parasite"?

Yeah, after Dim got out of prison,

he and Juicy started targeting
rich people a-and celebrities,

getting hired to work at their homes.

Handymen, chefs, nannies.

When you say "celebrities"...

Lance Bass.

I hired those two to
take care of my house.

- WOMAN: Is that Lance Bass?
- Well, Jake first.

Hey, guys!

Uh, but then my sensualist quit,

and, uh, Jake recommended Sava.

INTERVIEWER: I'm sorry.
What's a sensualist?

They optimize the pleasurability
of your surroundings.

Every element, from the
tactile to the olfactory.

I have an incredibly stressful job,

so I want every aspect of
my home experience to be...

euphoric.

Oh. [INHALES SHARPLY]

More colorful.

An alien would never dance like that.

Mm, uh...

The mac and cheese.

- Sorry about that.
- No problem.

So what happened after you hired them?

- I fired them.
- Why?

During the three days
they worked for me,

they had sex on every
surface of my house.

By "every," you mean...

Every even vaguely flat surface...

floors, beds, couches, dressers,
counters, the diving board.

Even inside the dog crate.

It was only after Dim
and Juicy were gone

that he discovered they'd also

stolen several expensive
watches and some jewelry.

- INTERVIEWER: Were they arrested?
- No.

By the time police questioned them,

the stolen property was gone.

Likely pawned, so

there wasn't enough
evidence to press charges.

What we didn't know at that point

was that Dim and Juicy
were already casing out

- their next target.
- Mm. The Baudelaires.

- Oh, baby, this place is perfect.
- Oh. No. It's on us.

Ooh. Right there. That's our in.

- [GRUNTS]
- Listen to me.

You go back to that house,
I'll shoot you in the face!

You got it?

Sent the guy packing. Took his job.

Well, they caught a break when
Jake showed up to work on day one

and discovered that
the Baudelaire family

had recently lost their nanny.

So Juicy slid right in.

- What?
- That's just a really descriptive way to put that.

- [CHUCKLES]
- INTERVIEWER: How long did they work there

- before Dim went missing?
- Three weeks.

And what can you tell
me about the Baudelaires?

They were made of money.

And... And then he just disappeared.

I-I don't know what happened to him.

Karen, why is there
a police car outside?

Karen?

I'm sorry, Mr. Baudelaire, but, um,

Skip is missing.

Uh, sorry. And by Skip,
you m... you mean Jake?

Yes. Yes.

Uh, Skip and I, you know, we
got pet names for each other.

He calls me Sava. I call
him Jake. It's not...

That's not even... Okay.

So ha... hang on a
second. I just need...

First of all, your name is?

Charles Baudelaire.

- And this is your house?
- Yes.

[LAUGHS] I know, right?

Oh, Meredith, you have
to try this cleanse.

Like, I have dropped an entire size.

Yeah, and I have to get all
my clothes tailored now, but...

Oh, my God. The cops are here.

[GASPS] Look at this.

CHARLES: And this is my wife, Camille.

Karen says that Skip is missing.

[GASPS] How awful.

Oh, God. Did you hear that?

Apparently, now our handyman is missing.

Okay. I need to unpack all of this.

I think the fastest
way to do it would be

to get a statement from you first.

Officer Juarez, will you please

take the Baudelaires
into the living room?

Sure. Sir, ma'am, do you mind?

I'm super confused, but okay.

CAMILLE: Hey, Meredith, I have to go.

But, girl, you have to try
this cleanse. I'm serious.

This is why it took so
long to call you guys.

NOLAN: Because you're
doing something illegal.

No. No.

Jake and I, we have gone straight.

I am working here as a nanny.

And he is a handyman.

Like I said, a lot to
unpack. Let's stay on track.

- You said Jake disappeared?
- Mm-hmm.

- Babe.
- Hey!

Hey, what... what time...
what time they back?

Like 3:00.

3:00. All right. Remind me to clear
that security footage, all right?

We don't want another mishap like
that last Halloween situation.

Yeah. That's true.

Oh!

I'mma get me another beer.

You want anything?

Yeah.

Can you see if they
got that lobster salad?

- Lobster salad.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'll get you lobster salad.
- Lobster salad!

All day.

- Lobster salad life.
- Ooh! You love it?

Lobster sa...

Okay, so Dim walked into
the hallway at 2:03 p.m.

But there are no
cameras in that hallway.

Right. So he walked out
of this shot at 2:03.

- [BEEPS]
- And never emerged from the hallway.

We have hours more
footage of those two rooms,

- but Dim never reappears.
- [BEEPING]

INTERVIEWER: That's
unusual, to say the least.

Do you have a theory on what happened?

No, but Juicy sure did.

Okay.

Alien abduction.

Oh, yeah. Later, she added, uh,

"portal to another dimension."

But she didn't appreciate
your suggestion.

Spontaneous combustion.

INTERVIEWER: Oh. Like the
drummers in Spinal Tap.

Thank you for getting the reference.

So we opened up an investigation.

Most likely the explanation is just that

there was a glitch in
the security system.

INTERVIEWER: Right. But why wouldn't
he tell Juicy where he was going?

Relationships are complicated.

Every couple has their
secrets, you know?

No matter how strong their
moral compasses may be.

Mm.

Which is something Jake and
Sava clearly didn't have.

Do Tim and I keep
secrets from each other?

I mean... nothing big.

I-I feel that honesty is the most
important thing in a relationship.

I'm literally sitting in this office

because of a secret she kept.

Despite everything, it really did seem

like Dim and Juicy loved each other.

Which made what happened next so tragic.

7-Lincoln-7.

Code 6 at 911 call location.

Any clarity on the smell they reported?

DISPATCH: That's a
negative, 7-Lincoln-7.

♪

AARON: I mean, it's an
alley in L.A. They all smell.

It'd be a miracle if it didn't.

♪

[COUGHS, SNIFFS]

♪

♪

7-Lincoln-7.

Send an R.A. to my location,

and alert Sergeant Grey.

I just found a body, and
it's Sergeant Tim Bradford.

What? Give me that.

No, it's not. I'm at the station.

I-It was Dim, obviously.

But, you know, in the moment,
I-I-I thought it was Tim.

And, um...

you know, anybody could
have made that mistake.

He's not wrong. They
looked so much alike.

My mind broke a little
when I saw Dim's body.

INTERVIEWER: Why were you there?

We responded to Aaron's
call for an ambulance,

but there was nothing we could do.

- Dim was... way dead.
- Yeah.

Rigor mortis had come and gone,
blowfly eggs had been laid,

but hair slippage hadn't started yet,

which placed the time of death

approximately 30 hours
before Aaron found the body.

So around 6:00 p.m. the
day of Jake's disappearance.

INTERVIEWER: Did it bother
you, seeing his body?

What do you mean?

To see a version of
yourself dead in a dumpster,

no matter how much you protest that

you don't see the resemblance,

I mean, it had to be
a little disconcerting.

Yeah, a little, I guess.

I have nightmares.

INTERVIEWER: Do you think Tim does?

No.

You know, he's been doing the
job a lot longer than I have,

so his walls are pretty high.

But, you know, they have to be.

Otherwise, the constant
violence would just consume you.

Sounds like a part of you is envious

that he can divorce himself
from feeling a lot more easily.

No, I... Listen.

Empathy can be painful,

but the alternative, at
least for me, is unthinkable.

I do this job to help people.

You know, I have to feel for them.

Do the walls make it hard to
be in a relationship with Tim?

No.

But that's because I
know, behind those walls,

he's just a big softy.

Do I look like a big softy?

- No, sir.
- So, Officer Thorsen found the body.

Dim disappeared from
the mansion at 2:03 p.m.

and was killed four hours later.

So we had new mysteries to solve.

How did Dim get out of the house?

Where was he for those
missing four hours?

And how did he end up
shot dead in a dumpster?

Unfortunately, there were no
security cameras around the alley,

so they had no idea who dumped the body.

It was at this point
that Detective Lopez and I

were assigned to the investigation.

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Miss Wu, thank you for coming in.

Yeah. Sure.

What's with all the cameras?

They're filming a documentary.

I would love to interview
you at some point.

LOPEZ: Don't worry about
them. Let's go talk.

Uh, you want a water, coffee, anything?

No, thank you.

- Okay, this way.
- Go. Go. Get ahead of them.

Did you guys find anything?

HARPER: Uh, we... we're
following up on a couple of leads,

but, uh, we need your help to
get some clarity on some things.

Do you mind if we record this?

No. I... Whatever you need.

How you holding up?

[SIGHS] I mean, I'm not gonna lie.

You know, I'm struggling.

I still can't believe he's dead.

Look, we know you and Mr. Butler

were engaged in a host
of illegal activities,

but we're not focused on that right now.

Yeah. All we care about is
catching the person who killed him.

So, if you are holding
back because you're afraid

that you are gonna get in trouble, stop.

You need to come clean.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey. Sorry to intrude.

- Uh, you got a second?
- Uh, yeah. Excuse us.

♪

- What's up?
- They found another body.

♪

SGT. GREY: In the days
following Dim's disappearance,

officers were searching the
property, looking for him.

In the confusion after
finding Dim's body,

the call to stop the search wasn't made.

INTERVIEWER: Whose body did they find?

♪

OFFICER: Holy [BLEEP].

It's the Baudelaires' nanny, Holland Po.

What... I thought she
was out of the picture

before Sava and Jake showed up.

Maybe they popped her before
Dim beat up the handyman.

Well, the nanny's
been dead over a month.

The handyman got beat
up three weeks ago.

Why kill her and then
wait to strong-arm him?

Let's go ask her.

LOPEZ: Tell me about Holland Po.

- Who's that?
- The Baudelaires' nanny before you.

Oh. I mean, I-I never met her.

She was gone before we even
knew about the Baudelaires.

HARPER: Can you prove that?

Turns out she could. Yeah.

Dim and Juicy were actually
on vacation in the Caribbean

at the time of the nanny's murder.

Paid for by the sale of the property

they stole from Lance Bass.

Which turned our attention to
the most obvious suspects...

- The Baudelaires. The Bau...
- The Baudelaires.

- Sorry. No, you... you... you can say it.
- No.

- I just felt like I had some momentum.
- They'll just cut around me.

I was building it up. You
kind of jumped in there.

- That's... That's all right.
- Sorry.

CHARLES: It's uncanny.

It's freaky is what it is.

You look like twins.

Okay, let's get back on track here.

You say that Holland did not
show up for work that Tuesday.

And you never heard from her?

That's right. No call, no
text, no e-mail, no Snapchat,

- no ClipTalk, no...
- We get it.

And you were never aware
that she went missing?

CHARLES: No. We were
paying her under the table,

so I guess no one knew to contact us.

- Should we have our lawyer here?
- That's up to you.

But then it becomes a whole thing.

Yeah. Right now, we are just
trying to get some clarity.

It can't be a coincidence

that two people that work
for you showed up murdered.

You're looking at the wrong people.

I mean, we were scammed
by Karen and Skip...

Jake and Sava. Whatever
their real names are.

We're the real victims here.

Of course. But without another suspect,

you can see why we are talking to you.

Jesse.

Who's Jesse?

HARPER: So, Mr. Long,

you worked for the Baudelaires
as a contractor for three years.

That's right.

LOPEZ: What exactly did you do for them?

I'm sorry. I can't say.

I signed an NDA. I
don't want to get sued.

Getting sued is the least
of your problems right now.

Let's just say that I handled everything

from repairs to new construction.

What can you tell me about Holland Po?

What do you want to know?

I mean...

she worked as a nanny while I
did some repairs on the house.

Nice girl.

Did you two get along?

Yeah. I mean, I didn't see her much.

You know, you stopped
working for the Baudelaires

less than a week after she disappeared.

Got a better gig.

We found Holland's body hidden
in the greenhouse yesterday.

That's... That's horrible.

Before that, we found
the handyman... murdered.

- Leo?
- No. Jake. Um...

Skip.

I don't know who that is.

Look, I'm gonna put
our cards on the table.

We got a warrant for
Holland's cellphone records.

We have dozens of texts from you,

harassing her, threatening her.

And the M.E. found your
DNA under her fingernails.

We are gonna arrest you for murder.

♪

I'm so sorry.

♪

I didn't... I didn't, uh...

I didn't mean to kill her. It just...

- It all got out of hand.
- I understand.

[SNIFFLES]

But the best way to honor
her memory is to come clean.

Tell us everything that happened.

Okay.

Including what you did to Jake.

I told you, I don't know that guy.

I swear.

You said he was murdered?

Yes. After he vanished into thin
air at the Baudelaires' mansion.

Did you check the...

Check the what?

TIM: Hey, guys. Wait. Hold up.

SGT. GREY: What do you got?

- Let's check it out.
- Be careful.

[SIGHS]

Hey. Stay back.

♪

LOPEZ: Weird tunnel.

♪

- LUCY: Wow.
- TIM: What is this?

It's dusty.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oof. [COUGHS]

- What is it?
- No way.

- Grey.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh!

What is it?

♪

You gotta be kidding me.

♪

Oh, my God. It looks just like you.

It's called "The Lost Emperor."

Ferdinand had it for a while,

but it went missing after World War I.

Rumor has it that Hitler
had it for a short stint,

but it got looted
from the Fuehrerbunker.

We believe it depicts the Haitian
Revolution's Battle of the Vertières,

when the Haitian rebels defeated
the French in November 1803.

The painting is one of the generals...

Gabart, Capois,

possibly even the great
liberator Jean-Jacques Dessalines.

Think George Washington.

They say certain traits are genetic...

leadership, strength, the
ability to inspire people.

I'm not aware of any connection
between Dessalines and my family,

but, uh, well...

I wouldn't be surprised.

Why are you smiling?

INTERVIEWER: No reason. I just...

Your reaction to the painting
has been pretty priceless.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Go back to work.

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

LUCY: "Harlequin's Head" by Picasso.

Stalin's Bible. Charles
Manson's jockstrap.

What is all this stuff?

Stolen art, uh, antiques, and...

cursed curiosities.

All bought on the black
market by Charles and Camille.

Yeah. They were all worth a fortune.

Which would explain why they didn't
tell us about the hidden vault.

But the most valuable thing
we found in that moment...

HARPER: I got something.

... was the hatch.

♪

LOPEZ: And that's how
Dim got out of the house.

The ladder led up to a
hidden grate in the bushes.

And from there, it was a
clear path with no cameras

to get off the property.

But one question remained...

Where did Dim go, and who killed him?

Look alive, guys. Here she comes.

- Thanks for meeting me.
- Of course.

And you're okay with the cameras?

Oh, God. I guess.

Um, I'm a little confused

as to why you're coming
to me and not the police.

[SIGHS] I don't trust them.

If I showed them this,

they would find some
way to use it against me.

I'm not so sure about that,
but I'm happy to take a look.

What exactly are you gonna show me?

It's a video.

Two days before Jake went missing, um...

somebody tried to kill us.

Okay.

I love you, boo.

Mm. Love you, baby.

No, b-baby, you gotta
say it to the camera.

- Well, I'm driving, baby.
- Baby.

All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I love you, baby.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- [METAL CRUNCHES]
- Damn!

- [HORN HONKS]
- Who in the hell is that?

Oh. Baby. Baby, watch out.

- Watch out!
- [METAL CRUNCHES]

- God!
- [HORN HONKS]

- Oh!
- [THUDDING]

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

Oh, God.

Baby. Yeah.

- We gots to go.
- Okay.

- Baby, we got to go now!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!

[GROANS]

They didn't report it.
They just abandoned it.

Well, we tracked down the abandoned car,

but the paint scrapings that
we took from the impact point

showed the most common
brand of automotive paint.

Which means we had added
another mystery to the case...

Who was the driver?

But that question took a back seat.

Oh, because the text came.

You have to show this to the police.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

- Geez.
- Stay with her.

A text was sent from an
unknown number to Dim and Juicy,

demanding the item
that had been promised.

INTERVIEWER: And the text
went on to threaten violence

if Juicy didn't turn the item over.

It seemed likely that whomever
sent that text killed Dim.

So it was time for me to go undercover.

♪

You had no idea what
you were walking into.

That's working undercover.

Doesn't that scare you,
walking in by yourself?

Th... But I wasn't by myself.

UC is in play.

♪

♪

[TIRES SCREECH]

♪

Heads up. This could be our guy.

♪

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

♪

♪

♪

Do you have it?

Nope.

[SIGHS] What do you mean, no?

Whatever you were into with
Jake, he didn't share it with me.

I got no idea who you
are or what you want.

- And now that Jake is dead...
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

That's not my problem.

I need what he promised...

... or you're gonna learn
what battery acid tastes like.

Is that what you said to
Jake before you killed him?

- Enough. You're coming with me.
- Gun. Move in.

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

- Don't move.
- Copy that! Moving in!

- Get on the ground!
- Drop the gun!

Get on the ground right now!

- Police! Don't move!
- Stay where you are!

- MAN: I got him on this side!
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

- Don't move!
- Stay where you are!

- Everybody freeze! Weapons down!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Drop your weapon!
- Multiple targets!

- Right there!
- Drop the gun!

Whoa, whoa! Hey! LAPD!

- Who the hell are you guys?
- CIA.

INTERVIEWER: Thanks for taking
the time to speak with me.

My pleasure.

The agency is committed to
transparency wherever possible.

Great. So, what can you tell me

- about Emir Sadik?
- Nothing.

Come on. It's common knowledge
that Mr. Sadik is a Turkish national

who works for Meyer Balik,

an infamous international arms dealer.

I'm not prepared to speak on that.

Okay. Can you explain the
connection to Jake Butler?

I'm not prepared to speak on that.

How about the mystery item that
Emir was so intent on getting

from Mr. Butler and Ms. Wu?

I'm not prepared to speak on that.

Then why did you agree to the interview?

The agency is committed to
transparency wherever possible.

It turns out Dim and that arms dealer...

Meyer Balik?

Yeah. That's the guy.

Dim and Meyer were distant cousins.

I found out through a
back-channel source at the DOD

that the, uh... the agency had
been surveilling Emir for...

for months now, while
he and Meyer were working

on a massive arms deal for the Iranians.

But during the deal-making
process, Emir went to Barbados.

- Where he met with Dim.
- But not Juicy?

That's what she says.

INTERVIEWER: How you holding up?

I'm heartbroken.

I thought I knew him.

I thought he loved me.

To find out he had this
whole other life, I mean...

[CHUCKLES]

I've been drunk the whole week.

So you had no idea that the Baudelaires

weren't just a random target?

Jake just said they were crazy rich

and that we'd be able
to party for a year

off of what we'd get out of their house.

Well, what we now know

is that Emir pointed
Jake at the Baudelaires.

But it wasn't connected
to the Iranian arms deal

that the CIA was so keen to stop.

It turns out, among
the stolen antiquities

in the Baudelaires' vault
was a very special rifle.

The miquelet, one of the earliest

and most sturdy flintlocks ever made.

And the most famous miquelet
belonged to the Turkish sultan

Osman II, or Osman the Young.

- I... I like to read.
- You sure do.

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- But h... history lesson aside,

as a proud Turk and a
professional weapon aficionado,

Meyer Balik had been hunting for
the sultan's rifle for decades.

And somehow, he discovered
that the Baudelaires had it.

So he called up Cousin Jake

and set up a meeting
with Emir in Barbados.

♪

I was probably getting a massage
at the time or a facial...

or a seaweed wrap.

Or body scrub. [CHUCKLES]

I spent most of that trip just
getting pampered, you know?

Yeah, once we learned
about the rifle's existence,

we quickly found the crate
it had been stored in.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

♪

But the rifle was gone, which
meant that Dim had taken it,

uh, before he had snuck out
of the Baudelaires' house.

INTERVIEWER: But he hadn't
delivered it to Emir.

No. Emir hadn't even landed in the U.S.

by the time Dim was killed.

Which means Dim took it somewhere else.

Yeah. Question was... Where?

To who... whom?

Yeah. And what happened to it?

INTERVIEWER: You were about to find
all that out, though, weren't you?

Yes. In the most terrifying way.

- MAN: Drop the gun!
- [GUNSHOT]

- Baby? Baby, look out!
- [HORN HONKS]

- Look out!
- [METAL CRUNCHES]

- Oh!
- [HORN HONKS]

LUCY: With Emir out of
the picture as a suspect,

we went back to the car crash.

Somebody tried to run
Jake and Sava off the road

two days before Jake was killed.

If it wasn't Emir, who was it?

Well, we had previously gotten
warrants for Jake's phone records,

but Sava told us that,

uh, Jake always carried
a burner phone with him,

and we didn't have that number.

- INTERVIEWER: Until the incident with Emir.
- Exactly.

Even though the CIA kept
us from interrogating Emir,

they did search Emir's cellphone records

and came up with an anonymous number

that we ultimately tracked back to Dim.

Let's just say that there
were several text messages

sent to and from that phone
that were very... revealing. I...

- INTERVIEWER: What do you mean?
- Jake was clearly cheating on Sava,

and he was the Shakespeare of Sexting.

It was... [CHUCKLES]

Would you read some
of those texts for me?

♪

[CHUCKLES] Yeah. You...
Uh, no. I can't. I'm sorry.

I can't say any of this on camera.
My nana is gonna watch this.

- Oh.
- You can... Yeah. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]

Can you read some of these texts to me?

Are you kidding me? Put that away.

No. You couldn't get Lucy to read them.

What makes you think I'm gonna read 'em?

- I'm serious.
- Okay.

- I'm not reading them.
- Okay.

INTERVIEWER: Would you mind reading
some of these texts out loud?

Um...

[CHUCKLES] I can't say that.

I'm not saying that.

I have no idea what that even means.

Let me just find some
PG content for you.

Oh. Here we go.

"Stop calling. I told you it's over."

The breakup text.

It was the, uh, proverbial smoking gun.

The text that would
determine Dim's fate.

And just for clarity... who
was Dim sending these texts to?

Who was he having an affair with?

- Uh, Lisa... Li... Miller? Lisa Miller?
- Lisa Miller.

- That's Juicy's BFF.
- LISA: So, what are we doing here?

- Girl, you know what we're doing.
- No.

For, like, posperiority.

[CHUCKLES] I think it's "posterity."

Mnh-mnh. That don't sound right, girl.

Okay. So...

- I'm waiting for Jake to get out of prison.
- Mm-hmm.

He just did six months on a drug charge,

and I found out today he's
getting released early.

Ooh. For good behavior?

- Girl. Overcrowding.
- [BUZZER SOUNDS]

[LAUGHS]

[SCREAMS] Baby!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! [LAUGHS]

- Mmm!
- Mmm.

Baby. Oh, I missed you.

- Yeah. I missed you, too.
- [CHUCKLES] Yo, Lisa!

- [LISA SCREAMS]
- [LAUGHS] Hey!

At that point, it all
started coming together.

Lisa couldn't handle the fact
that Jake was breaking up with her,

so she tried to run them off the road.

- Look out!
- And when that failed,

she called up Jake,
begged for his forgiveness,

and asked him to meet her.

Yeah, when he showed up,

she shot him with a .22-caliber pistol,

then dumped his body in the dumpster.

So, we went to arrest her.

I think that's her.

♪

[SIREN WAILING]

NOLAN: Police! Show me your hands!

- MAN: Move in on her! Move in!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Drop the gun!
- Down!

- [GUNSHOT]
- MAN: Shots fired! Shots fired!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Drop the gun!

- CELINA: Oh, John!
- INTERVIEWER: Get in there.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Officer down.

We need an R.A... lower and Lincoln.

- John.
- [GROANING]

- Oh, my God.
- I'm just...

I'm... Roll me back. Roll me back.

[GROANS]

Let me catch my breath.

I'm good.

The thing about old guns is

that they're very imprecise weapons,

and the muzzle velocity
was significantly less

than even the most
modern, smallest handgun.

Translation... There is no
way that the miquelet bullet

could have punched a hole
in Nolan's bulletproof vest.

He's just lucky she didn't
shoot him in the face.

Uh, not getting shot in the
face... that's a daily goal.

Yeah, it's true. The first
thing he taught me was

don't get shot in the face.

All things considered, though,
I do... I got very lucky.

Yeah. It could have been so much worse.

Yeah. Like it was for Sergeant Grey.

He's probably not gonna
love that you said...

- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
- This painting captures

a moment in world history where
freedom won out over oppression,

which is why its
recovery is so important.

It is my honor to present
"The Lost Emperor."

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

- [APPLAUSE]
- [SCREAMING]

Climate change!

- No!
- MARCELLA: Oh, my God!

No!

You bastard!

How could you?!

You son of a [BLEEP]!

Shame on you!

Shame on you!

ATTACKER: Let me go!

Get off me!

Polar bears are people, too!

This was an assassination.

I'm sorry. I need a minute.

I just...

[SIGHS, SNIFFLES]

At least I still have this.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Sorry, Sergeant. You're
needed in the bullpen.

What the hell is this about?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

♪

What do we have here?

Well, we all know how much
you love that painting.

Unfortunately, it was
completely destroyed.

So, we had another painting made.

♪

It reflects the way that we see you.

With my shirt off?

[CHUCKLES] As a dragon slayer.

Um...

I love it. I love it.

- Yay!
- [APPLAUSE]

Well, uh, so Lisa was going to prison

for the murder of Jake and
the attempted murder of Nolan.

But we were left with the question

of what to do with Juicy.

At the end of the day, it
didn't make sense to charge her.

We could prove Dim's involvement,

but all we really had
on Juicy was conspiracy.

D.A.'s office debated for a while,

but ultimately, we
decided to cut her loose.

INTERVIEWER: How did
you feel about that?

On the whole...

good.

Whatever her faults, Juicy...

Sava had suffered a great tragedy...

betrayal, murder.

I'm hopeful that she'll
take this opportunity

to learn from the experience,
you know, to change.

Of course she said that.

Listen. People never change, okay?

Sava is gonna end up in
cuffs, one way or another.

♪ Nobody listened ♪

♪ So she screamed out loud ♪

♪ She broke the dishes ♪

You make good money doing documentaries?

INTERVIEWER: I do okay.

You do better than okay.

I looked you up.

You're not the only
curious one around here.

♪ 'Cause somebody listened ♪

Award-winning filmmaker.

Vacation home on the
Amalfi Coast. I mean...

- WOMAN: Karen!
- What?

Uh, [CHUCKLES] you gotta go.

♪ Never runs from a fight ♪

You're "Parasiting" again?

Girl's gotta eat. Uh...

Give him my number. Give him my number.

You call me, okay?

Coming, Mrs. Hotchkins!

INTERVIEWER: Does it shake you at all...

the fact that your
doppelgangers' relationship

was so dysfunctional?

I... That's an unfair characterization.

It wasn't dysfunctional.

I mean, Jake cheated
with Sava's best friend

after trying to cut her
out of a big money deal.

Fair enough. But that
doesn't change the question.

What are you implying?

That... That we might
suffer the same fate

because of a couple of people
who looked a tiny bit like us

that were misfits?

I think it's a reasonable question.

You're working too hard.

Okay, l...

I get it, all right? You're
invested in a certain answer

because it makes for
a better documentary.

But we are not Jake and Sava, okay?

I mean, they... they are criminals

whose lives were based on deceit.

O-Of course that duplicity
infected their relationship. But...

- we are in a very different place.
- Mm-hmm.

And what place is that?

If you don't know, then you
haven't been paying attention.

I mean... [SCOFFS]

Okay. So, a place of
honesty, respect, love.

Yeah. I mean, those are...
those are good words.

- Yeah.
- But do those qualities guarantee

that your relationship will
succeed where theirs failed?

Oh, w... Well, you...
Okay, you know what?

Of... Of course not.

But at this moment, I mean,

Tim and I are in a
really beautiful place.

And that's all that matters.

Yeah.

Look, the thing you learn
early on as police officers

is that your future is never certain.

Yeah. Anything can happen
to anyone at any time.

Especially if they
overstay their welcome.

♪

[CHUCKLES]

Uh... Oh. Oh, does that mean...

- Yeah, we're... Yeah. We're done. Sorry.
- That's right.

Sorry, guys. [CHUCKLES]

- Do you want to get sushi?
- Oh, that's perfect.

Okay. Listen. We're
gonna be back in an hour.

- Place better be spotless.
- [CHUCKLING] Oh, God.

- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you.

Okay. Let's pack it up.

You don't think he's
really mad at me, do you?

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

♪

♪

♪