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1
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,416
Hang on there, Clyde.
2
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,415
Sorry, miss, we're closed.
3
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,991
Just look at what I'm selling.
You'll plotz.
4
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,966
Good work, Harley girl.
5
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:54,641
Now, what would be a suitable
trade for our joke-in-the-box?
6
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,326
For some reason, this just speaks to me.
What do you think, Harl?
7
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,897
It's you, pudding.
8
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:27,874
Awfully nice doing
business with you. Ta.
9
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,873
What a pleasant fellow.
10
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:41,754
It's weird. All this junk and the
Joker only takes one lousy statue.
11
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:45,929
Especially since word on the street says
he's desperate for cash these days.
12
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,296
Things are never what
they seem with the Joker.
13
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,362
I guess the night brings
out all the wackos.
14
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,109
It was made of jade, worth
maybe a hundred grand.
15
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,220
I'd like a closer look.
16
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:15,189
Hey. He can't leave a crime
scene with evidence.
17
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,354
You want to stop
him, be my guest.
18
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:44,149
According to this, the Laughing Dragon has
earned quite a foreboding reputation.
19
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:48,420
Ever since it was carved in
China nearly 30 years ago...
20
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:52,497
it has passed through several owners,
all of whom died prematurely.
21
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,566
And I can tell you why.
22
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:59,099
This so-called jade is
emitting low-level radiation.
23
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:04,070
Alfred, isn't Bruce Wayne about
due for a trip to Metropolis?
24
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,304
Yes, but do you think this
is an appropriate time?
25
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,780
I'd say the timing
couldn't be better.
26
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,629
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press...
27
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:34,399
if you stay calm, you may actually
live to write about this.
28
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,007
Is the president secured?
29
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:38,777
Copy. We've already
informed him...
30
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,539
of our change in flight plans.
31
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,447
- What's going on?
- What's he doing to her?
32
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,488
Let's make an example
of this hero.
33
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:02,034
A very tragic example,
I'm afraid, Miss...?
34
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:05,365
- Lane.
- Lane? Lois Lane?
35
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:08,002
The one Superman always saves?
36
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,143
Afraid so.
37
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,717
Thanks for strapping me in.
38
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,643
Happy I could help out, Mr.
President.
39
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,624
I hope I didn't shake you and
the others up too badly.
40
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,923
I hate to say, I've
gotten used to it.
41
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,930
Superman?
42
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,893
Yes?
43
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,404
How can I put this?
44
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,668
I was just thinking, it might
be nice to see each other...
45
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:21,905
when I wasn't, I don't know,
falling out a window or something.
46
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:25,210
I'm grateful for all the times
you've helped me, you understand...
47
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,112
- I understand.
- You do?
48
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:39,995
- It's the First National Bank.
- You'd better go. People might...
49
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,327
Get hurt.
50
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,070
"I understand, Lois."
"Really, you do?"
51
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,406
"Yep. You're a complete moron."
"Why, thank you, Superman.
52
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,242
I think I'm a total
loser too." Jeez.
53
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:59,448
"A grateful president
bestows heartfelt thanks...
54
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:03,885
on Metropolis' favorite
son, Superman."
55
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,287
Favorite son, my...
56
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,492
Mercy. Start the car.
I'm coming down.
57
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,526
Right away, Lex.
58
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:39,287
The office. Now.
59
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,859
Swell, Mr. L.
60
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,998
"Mr. L."? Mercy?
61
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:50,058
Oh, yeah, she had a
little accident.
62
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,180
All right, missy. I don't
know what your game is...
63
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,581
but I promise you you'll
pay dearly for this!
64
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,681
You're dead. Do you hear me?
65
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,985
Blah, blah, blah.
66
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,659
Whoa, mama! Check out
the cute hitchhiker.
67
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,831
Yoo-hoo!
68
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,571
- Joker.
- Lexy, old kid.
69
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:34,271
Do I have a deal for you.
70
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,690
Rich Corinthian leather.
71
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,299
What do you want?
72
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,663
I sense we are kindred
spirits, you and l.
73
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:03,138
Oh, there are differences to be sure.
Like hair.
74
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:07,370
But underneath it all, we're both
entrepreneurs, men of vision.
75
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,641
We see an opportunity, we grab it.
Am I right?
76
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,215
Right.
77
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,180
But in the past few weeks,
I've had a run of bad luck...
78
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,156
bad luck that wears a cape.
79
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:25,120
Thanks to that miserable,
pointy-eared rodent, Batman...
80
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:29,064
all my operations in Gotham
City have been shut down.
81
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:34,269
But you too have an overgrown
bully in long underwear...
82
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:37,239
which brings me to my
little proposition.
83
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,741
I'm listening.
84
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,780
Pay me one billion dollars,
and I'll kill Superman.
85
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,379
What makes you think you
can kill Superman...
86
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:51,650
when you can't even handle a mere
mortal in a Halloween costume?
87
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:56,919
There's nothing mere about that mortal.
Besides...
88
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,258
I've read up on your flyboy.
89
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,333
I know his weakness.
90
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,268
See? Solid Kryptonite.
91
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,103
You know I can't be connected
to this in any way.
92
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:15,539
Oh, you'll be Mr. Clean, I promise.
Deal?
93
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,810
Deal.
94
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:29,360
I hear Wayne's deal with LexCorp could run
into the billions. He's a high roller.
95
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:32,356
I hear he's nothing
but Gotham trash.
96
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,523
Rich, spoiled...
97
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,029
and absolutely gorgeous.
98
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,471
- Mr. Wayne. Mr. Wayne.
- What brings you to Metropolis?
99
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,943
How long will you stay?
100
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,483
Quick, is my hair straight?
101
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:59,354
Excuse me, aren't you
the famous Lois Lane?
102
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:09,063
Me? Famous? Well, hardly. I mean, uh...
This is Clark Kent.
103
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,165
Mr. Wayne.
104
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,429
I read all about your
adventure on Air Force One.
105
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,435
- You're quite the newsmaker.
- No more than you.
106
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:21,574
Which brings up the question
of why you're in town.
107
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,182
Mr. Wayne, your car.
108
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:28,348
Maybe we can discuss it over
dinner, if you're available.
109
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:32,949
Totally. I mean, I think so. I'll
have to check my calen... Yes.
110
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,257
Great. I'll pick you up at 8.
111
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:01,218
Who'd have figured a guy named
Weasel could cook this good?
112
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,878
Caesar Carlini, my old pal.
113
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,026
Why, I haven't seen you since...
Wait.
114
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,855
I've never seen you, have I?
You need to get out more.
115
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:13,055
- Who is this clown?
- Not "Clown."
116
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,996
Joker.
117
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:21,204
I'm in town on business and I
need a place to hang my hat.
118
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,973
Try the Motel Nine.
119
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:27,476
But it would be so much cozier
at your place, like a sleepover.
120
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,638
Are you nuts?
121
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,306
Kill him.
122
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,886
Can I play too?
123
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:53,265
Carlini, all that spicy food.
You look a little gassy.
124
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,306
No. Stop.
125
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:13,391
Holy guacamole. Looks like
you need a new leader.
126
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,119
I nominate me.
127
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,888
I second the nomination.
128
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,527
All opposed?
129
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,461
They found him like
this at the city dump.
130
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,074
The lights are on
but nobody's home.
131
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,641
But we know who did it.
132
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,744
He's telling us right now.
133
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:14,880
As you can see, the WayneLex T7 can
traverse the most difficult terrain...
134
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,454
never losing sight of
its ultimate target.
135
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,207
Fourteen-point-eight seconds.
136
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,100
Congratulations.
137
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:40,575
This is your project
too, you know.
138
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,471
Well, I'm proud of the work
both our teams have done.
139
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,813
These robots are gonna revolutionize
unmanned space travel.
140
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:52,749
Actually, there may be a use
for them closer to home.
141
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,696
The Joint Chiefs have shown
tremendous interest.
142
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:02,665
It doesn't take much imagination to
envision these robots on the battlefield.
143
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,601
Except I won't allow it.
144
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,171
- What?
- I don't like guns.
145
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:13,437
Well, Bruce, I think I have
something to say about this.
146
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,905
Not according to our deal.
147
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,176
All technological applications
need my approval first.
148
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,183
Blame it on me, Lex.
149
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,518
Tell your pals at
the Pentagon...
150
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:26,123
I just don't have
the imagination.
151
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,427
So he just appears when there's trouble?
No special signal?
152
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,362
He's not like your
Batman, thank goodness.
153
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,132
Then how do you contact him?
154
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,463
Committing a felony helps.
155
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,534
Listen, you seem awfully
interested in Superman.
156
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,701
- Do you want me to fix you two up?
- Sorry.
157
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,904
No, I'm sorry. It's just
that I was hoping...
158
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:52,141
to get away from the subject of
the Man of Steel for one night.
159
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,813
I've been a little too
consumed with him lately.
160
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:03,891
Maybe we could change subjects.
161
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,796
No more men in tights?
162
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,433
Deal.
163
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,180
So just keep your ears open.
164
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:34,121
Let me know if you hear
any buzz about the Joker.
165
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,326
Sure thing, Mr. Kent.
166
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,096
But, uh, which one?
167
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,896
There's lots of
jokers around here.
168
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:16,629
Hey, sweetheart. What are you, deaf?
Another round!
169
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,532
- What's going on?
- What's happening?
170
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,970
Who is he?
171
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:31,249
It's been a long time, Binko.
172
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,811
I heard your boss
Carlini's been replaced.
173
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,581
We need to talk.
174
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,365
Let's get out of here.
175
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,039
Get him!
176
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,542
Hey!
177
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,890
Where's the Joker?
178
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,399
Who knows? Making ha-ha
with Harley Quinn.
179
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,501
I don't know. Honest. I never
went back after he muscled in.
180
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,006
I don't want nothing
to do with that clown.
181
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,413
That's enough. I think
you got your answer.
182
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:56,233
I heard you were crazy. I
didn't think you were stupid.
183
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:03,237
- Bruce Wayne?
- You peeked.
184
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,908
I won't have vigilantism
in my town.
185
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:10,009
You'll be rid of me. As
soon as I find the Joker.
186
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:13,077
That may not be soon enough.
187
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:18,918
It doesn't take much, does it?
188
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,686
The Joker has 20 pounds
more where this came from.
189
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,427
Thought you might like to know.
190
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,758
- Hello.
- Hi.
191
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,489
I just wanted to let you know,
I'll be in late tomorrow.
192
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,493
I'm having breakfast with Bruce.
193
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,430
Isn't that special?
194
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,328
Do I detect a note
of disapproval?
195
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,633
You were the one who
compared him to garbage.
196
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,743
Well, I was wrong.
197
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,936
He's very thoughtful
and much deeper...
198
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,674
than the gossipmongers
would lead you to believe.
199
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:21,111
- You'd be surprised.
- Would I now?
200
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,584
I'll let you go so you
can count sheep...
201
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:30,889
or whatever you Kansas
boys dream about. Bye.
202
00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:54,352
Touche.
203
00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,382
[ENGLISH]
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