Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Long ago in feudal Japan,

under the rule of the shogun emperor,

mighty samurai warriors protected the land with nobility and virtue.

No, not him!

Over there.

Hmm? What you making there?

I'm making a nutritious salad and I'm about to toss in this here eggplant.

You like eggplant, Doc?

That's the shogun's vegetables you're using, you dern thieving usagi.

And as per the code of the samurai,

you're to be keel-hauled for your dishonorable dinner.

Ha!

Eh, that's a mighty fine poking stick you got there.

Perfect for a veggie shish kebab.

Oh, you darn rabbit! This ain't for shish kabobbering.

This here is a genuine katanar sword.

It can slice through anything.

Anything you say, Doc?

- How about this mango? - [shouts]

- How about this watermelon? - [shouts]

- These strawberries? - [shouting]

This crater of dragon fruit and bananas?

[shouting]

Incredible!

This is the best fruit salad I've ever seen.

This is just one of several edible creations

you can make with the Swifty Samurai Katana.

Only $19.99 if you call in now.

Gosh, I could sure use one of those.

[grunting]

[chuckling]

I think his sword is a little sharper than he is.

[shrieks]

I'm gonna tan your hide, rabbit.

[shrieks]

You gall dern buck-tooth monkey--

[yelling] Yow!

Maybe now I can relax and get some decent grub.

[Sam yelling]

Uh-oh.

[Sam yelling]

Trying to fish from the shogun's pond, eh?

[Bugs] You, how dare you swim in the shogun's pond.

[gasps] General!

Uh, well, you see, there was a--

And I-- And then, um--

[Bugs] You have defiled this sacred place

with your dishonorable body odor.

Ooh, uh, but... but I've been using the cream.

[Bugs] Enough!

Come out and face the consequences.

Are you ready to make your final sacrifice as a samurai warrior?

I fear nothing.

So what do you think of the new you?

[gasping]

You left me with nothing but a bonnysai tree on my noggin.

[Bugs] Oh, you wanted a full trim?

There you go. Smooth as silk.

Wait a dern minute! You're that rabbit.

[yelling]

[yelling]

You can't hide from Samurai Sam forever.

Muah!

[yelling]

Ohh, boo-hoo-hoo! Ohh, boo-hoo-hoo!

[sobbing]

What's the matter, little lady?

Oh, dear.

There is news that our village will soon be ransacked by a renegade samurai.

He will rob us all and steal our crops.

What? Ransack the shogun's town, will he?

Don't you worry none, darling,

Samurai Sam will vanquish that bushido bandito.

Really?

You will save us from the one they call the Demon of the Mountain?

He'll be under the mountain once I'm done with him

'cause I am the swiftest, slashing-est, rip-roaring-est sword slinger

this side of Mount Fuji.

Finally, a warrior brave enough to face the Demon of the Mountain,

slayer of a million-and-one men.

You're darn tooting! I ain't afraid of... Wait.

Did you say a [stammering] million?

And one.

[gulping and exhales]

Oh, look! There he is now! Marching out of the West.

Uh, maybe we could just talk it out?

Quickly, quickly! Strike him down, brave warrior.

Stop!

The deed is done.

You are already dead!

[wind whooshes]

Done?

What do you mean, done?

[Bugs] Boo-hoo! Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

He was such a brave warrior! [sobbing]

[gasping]

The dark specter of death.

This mean I've gone to the great beyond?

It's... beautiful.

Well, if I'm gonna march to the great beyond, at least I'll do it with honor.

- [canvas rips] - [Sam yelling]

[crashes]

[wind whooshing]

Gee, I guess I really made the little guy... sore.

[chuckling]

[theme music playing]

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