All language subtitles for JASON ISABELL - Music Box Jason Isbell Running With Our Eyes Closed - Documentary (2023)

♪ ("MUSIC BOX"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Jason Isbell is one
of those song writers

that makes you feel like
you know him and he knows you.

This film is a document

of some of the most
personal songs

that Jason Isbell
has already written.

And I wanted to discover
where the life

and the art connect.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (GUITAR PLAYING) ♪

For Sam's camera to work,

we got to go back
to about right here.

I don't like that as much,

so I'm gonna move
Sam's camera back a little bit.

(CAMERA STAND SCRAPING)

That good?

AMANDA PEARL SHIRES: I think so.

JASON ISBELL: We are recording.

- ♪ (GUITAR PLAYING) ♪
- ♪ (VIOLIN PLAYING) ♪

I forgot to ask you
what key it was in.

- It's in E.
- Aha.

- JASON: Let's start the--
- I started doing it in A.

JASON:
Start the recordings over.

AMANDA: Okay.

- ♪ (GUITAR PLAYING) ♪
- ♪ (VIOLIN PLAYING) ♪

JASON: Where's--

AMANDA: We did it one more time
the last time through.

Ah, shit.
Let's start the recording over.

- You ready?
- AMANDA: Wait. No.

Now it's saving or something.
Okay, now.

JASON: One, ta, ta, two, ta, ta.

Do it again?

- The beginning.
- I liked that intro.

- Oh, you didn't like it?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Okay.
- I thought missed it.

I didn't. (CHUCKLES) Okay.

One, two, three, two. Three...

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- DERRY DEBORJA: Good morning.
- JASON: Hey, how are you?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- DERRY: Morning, Sadler.
- SADLER VADEN: What's up, man?

- JASON: How are you?
- Good.

- Good to see you, bud.
- JASON: Good to see you.

- What's up, Darrell?
- DARREL: Hey, I know you.

JASON: There's really
no more intrinsic value

to making a record than there is
to writing in your journal

when you're 15 years old,
you know?

It's really
for the same purpose.

There's something
that we have to say,

and in the process
of figuring out

how to say that,
we learn who we are.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JASON:
But I need to move forward

as a person through this work.

For me to do that, I have
to come to terms with things

that don't make me look cool

or don't paint me
in the best light

or don't, you know,
promote an idea

I have of controlling
my own image

because cont--

I think, controlling your image
is the opposite of creating art.

My songs are things
that are under the surface

of my own mind,
things that I'm dealing with

and working through.

But the trick for me is to make
a rock and roll record

about all these things

'cause you don't really want

people to feel like
they're singing along

with some sort of
a self-help catalogue.

♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- That sounds good.
- Really cool.

JASON: She sent me
a message today. Let's see.

I love you so much,

and how much music
are you gonna make?

JASON: (OVER CELL PHONE)
Hello, Mercy.

We are going to make an album,
which is nine or ten songs.

And so, it's like
about 45 minutes long.

And then she said--
To all that, she said...

That sounds great.

(CHUCKLES) She's so funny, man.

♪ ("RUNNING WITH OUR EYES
CLOSED" BY JASON ISBELL
PLAYING) ♪

♪ Took forever
To get you to trust me ♪

♪ Like I was feeding
A bird from my hand ♪

♪ And if this isn't love
Then it must be ♪

♪ Another answer
I don't understand ♪

♪ To a prayer that was please
And not thank you ♪

♪ To a question
I wrote in the sand ♪

♪ To a wish that I made
On a satellite ♪

♪ From a witness in tears
On the stand ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Well, you are who you are
When you're angry ♪

♪ When you're scared
Or you're sad or you're bored ♪

♪ When a stranger
Has slipped you a room key ♪

♪ In a hotel
You couldn't afford ♪

♪ We can never go back
And be strangers ♪

♪ All our secrets
Are mixed and distilled ♪

♪ But you've taught me
To temper my anger ♪

♪ And you've learned
It's all right to be still ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

It's fucking unbelievable.

- Unbelievable.
- Thank you.

Play me that change

from just the last chord
to the bridge.

♪ We're running
With our eyes closed ♪

One, two.

Two, da-da.

CHAD GAMBLE: Prior to Jason,
any recording I've done,

there would always be
weeks of rehearsal.

This was kind of
a new territory for me

where he brings
in the song the day of.

SADLER: You don't know the song,
you write your number chart out.

Then you're sort of
off to the races

and coming up with parts
and trying to lay it down.

♪ Oh, running
With our eyes closed ♪

AMANDA: It's ridiculously hard

and the stupidest part
of recording.

Can't practice it
'cause Dave doesn't make a demo.

But then if I mess up,

somebody's gonna want to try
to keep that probably.

I don't--
It's just really scary.

This might be
a weird suggestion.

I like your weird suggestions.

What if you play it
acoustic going down,

then we take time
with the electric sound?

- That's good with me.
- 'Cause it's such a cool part,

I don't want to dig--
Just run past it.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. The riff is a hook.

- It's a hook and a half.
- JASON: Yeah.

JASON: Amanda
has heard the songs,

but that's different, you know?

That's a different
kind of collaboration.

Like, I still don't really think
of it as she's in the band.

And I need her to do
different things,

and I think she needs to have
a different role.

Did you write "to"?

A stranger slips you
a room key "to" a hotel room

you can't afford.

- But I think that you are--
- But there's no slipping one

- with inside the room key...
- Yeah, there is.

If you're at the hotel bar

and the stranger is trying
to pick you up,

they would slip you a key
in the hotel.

No, but you're...

I've already went, like,
through this in my brain

- about a dozen times.
- Well, this will just be

permanently disagreed with
because it sounds like

when you're on,
like, you're reading

that you're in the room,
slipping the key.

- This has already happened.
- How about--

- How about "for"?
- Past.

- For is fine.
- Or we just leave

the article off and say...

♪ When a stranger
Has slipped you a room key ♪

♪ A hotel room
You couldn't afford ♪

Or-- See,
I've already said "room" though.
That was my problem.

I didn't want to use
"room" again that quickly.

Do whatever you want.

- JASON: No, no.
- That's not gonna be a big deal.

- (CHUCKLES)
- JASON: I'm not making--

I'm really, like,
just discussing it.

DAVE COBB: Why don't you
just make up a word?

- (CHUCKLES)
- AMANDA: You're talking about it

in the past, so it's like
"in" is not helpful.

I feel like "in" and "to"
are in the same tense.

When a stranger
has slipped you a room key.

- Yeah, so you're in the--
- And moving tenses within--

You're in
the present participle.

- AMANDA: Who is?
- JASON: 'Cause the person--

The people who are existing here

are in the present
participle tense,

which means that they're
existing in the now...

- No, but the--
- ...but discussing something

that's happened in the past.

No, b-- Okay. But see,
then you're mixing up

all this in this middle.

Just sing whatever you want
and then think about it later.

No, I want to get it right.
That's--

Then put "to."

I feel like if I put "to,"

it's gonna read like
you're getting key

to the entire hotel.

- Don't you think?
- To... (SIGHS, CHUCKLES)

I see what you mean.

TRACI THOMAS: You know,
Amanda has a master's degree

in creative writing.

She gets in there with her pen
and gives him honest feedback.

She's the only one
that hears anything

before they go into the studio.

I mean you could also say...

♪ And a stranger
Has slipped you a room key ♪

♪ For a room... ♪

♪ To a room
You could never afford ♪

- See? I like that.
- That's better.

To a room, yeah. To a room.

(AMANDA LAUGHS)

Once the songs get past her,
nobody scares me.

Nobody. I don't give a shit.
I know it's right.

AMANDA: Part of the reason
why he trusts me

is because I can't suffer
a bad song,

or, like, a clich d lyric
unless it's turned a little bit.

JASON: It works. It's hard.
It's a hard thing to do.

You have to let go of your ego.

If I was making people dance,
I wouldn't sit there

and waste my time
on prepositions. (CHUCKLES)

But they are not
out there dancing.

I got to get
those prepositions right.

DAVE: Yeah, beautiful.

- Good?
- DAVE: Love it.

- Okay.
- JIMBO HART: Cool.

AMANDA: It's got to be terrible
to sit in that chair.

- What? Over there?
- I mean, I know it is.

No, your chair.

- Over here?
- To be putting a record out,

- like, singing your songs...
- Man.

...for the first time in front
of a group of people.

- It is--
- Terrible.

- No.
- It is.

It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever done in my life

outside of you and our daughter.

(SIGHS)

JIMBO: Our method of recording

relies on so much of your gut.
Wherever it takes you,

that's where it goes.

♪ Took forever to get you
To trust me... ♪

JIMBO:
It's a healthy way to do it

because if you don't get it
in the first few times,

you kind of lose
the spirit of it anyway.

It's a very complex chemistry

that just comes from
playing together

for such a long time.

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

There's definitely
a spontaneity element

to being in a studio

that I think
is really important.

Something that I have
always liked is hearing

a really good musician
play a song

before they actually know it.

And once you learn the song,

your mind is not focused
on creating.

Your mind is focused
on recreating.

You know, you can only
create something once,

and if the tape's not rolling,

then you're just
shit out of luck.

- JASON: I like the one
before it better.
- One before it?

- Can we do one more?
- JASON: Yeah.

DAVE: Just don't think.
Don't even tune.

Okay. Don't think. Don't tune.

AMANDA: You're only as good
as the last work you did,

so there's this doubting
of self.

You're just like, "This is
probably a bunch of shit.

I don't know."
So, you're fighting

with all these voices
inside your head.

I don't know what you're doing,
but that's what I do.

♪ (VIOLIN PLAYING, CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ ("RUNNING WITH OUR EYES
CLOSED" BY JASON ISBELL
PLAYING) ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

JASON: The writing of the songs,
that's the hardest part.

My work is done
when I walk into the studio.

So I don't feel
that kind of pressure.

Oh, he's just lying to y'all.

He is. He is.
I'm gonna drag him up here

and tell him to answer
the question honestly.

It's got to be a big lie, right?
It's got to drive him crazy.

You just continue
to build pressure for yourself

to outdo your last record.

From this point forward
till when the record comes out,

he's gonna be
a ball of anxiousness.

DAVE: That should be
where it ends right there.

- Yeah. That's the end.
- DAVE: Yeah.

And I'm still--

This guitar still sounds woofy
as hell to me.

I'm excited.
I'm excited to be here,

you know? It's like, uh--

It's like the first day
of little league. (LAUGHS)

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

AMANDA: Jason and I
have known each other

for 18 years.
We were friends at first.

But, like, you kind of know,
you know?

JASON: I met Amanda
when I was recording

with the Drive-By Truckers.

I went into town
to go get drunk,

and Amanda was playing
with Thrift Store Cowboys.

There was, you know,
hardly anybody at the show.

He got a folding chair
and went and sat

in the middle of the floor.
There was, like, I don't know,

probably like 12 people there.

I thought
that was pretty ballsy.

I said, "Aren't you supposed
to be famous?"

JASON: As a joke,
she got me to sign a polaroid

of the two of us, and it's--

We have it in the bathroom
in the house now.

We were just friends for years.

But I probably always been
in love with her.

Um. I definitely had.

How many minutes
do we have left?

JASON: We have 16.

AMANDA: During that time,
I never thought really

that I'd be enough
for him just because,

well, he liked to hang out
with women, and he liked to,

you know, do S-E-X.

(CHUCKLES)

AMANDA: Funny aside,
I don't know

if this is important
for the documentary or not,

but I did make him take
an STD test

before I hooked up with him.

And then for, like,
the first year,

he had it hanging
on the refrigerator, but...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

We're ready
when you're all ready.

Ready? Come on.
Apparently, we're ready to rock.

Have yourself
a good time out there.

Thanks for joining me.
It's gonna be fun.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

♪ ("TRAVELING ALONE"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Mountain's rough
This time of year ♪

♪ Close the highway down ♪

♪ They don't warn the town ♪

♪ I've been fighting
Second gear ♪

♪ For 15 miles or so ♪

♪ Trying to beat
The angry snow ♪

♪ I know every town
Worth passing through ♪

♪ But what good does knowing do
With no one to show it to ♪

♪ And I've grown
Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ I've grown tired
Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Won't you ride with me ♪

♪ I've grown tired
Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ I've grown tired
Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Won't you ride with me ♪

♪ Won't you ride ♪

JASON: I'm so grateful that
this is the person

that I have to share this with.

I feel included,
and I feel tethered

to the world by her.

She makes me feel like
I'm not an outcast.

There was always some part of me

that felt like
I don't belong here.

And when she treats me
like I belong...

I feel like I belong everywhere,
you know?

♪ I've grown tired
Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ I've grown tired
Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Won't you ride with me ♪

♪ Won't you ride ♪

♪ Won't you ride ♪

- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
- Thank you.

That's Amanda Shires
on the fiddle.

It's a violin.

I think that means
it's for sale.

(CHUCKLES)

Right after we started
hanging out with each other,

I said, "Now,
what is the difference

between a violin and a fiddle?"
And she said,

"Well, it's a fiddle
when you're buying it."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JASON: It's a violin
when you're selling it.

If she's calling it a violin,

it's not because we're
in a fancy orchestral room,

it's because she's looking
to upgrade.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

As long as you always
call me a fiddle.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JASON: I get moved either
to laughter or to tears

by very small things
that most people

would not notice,
and if you point it out to them,

they would think
you were strange.

And she has looked at me
in a lot of fucking ways,

but never once
has she looked at me

like I'm strange.

Never once.

And everybody else has.

At least once. (CHUCKLES)

Well, you're not strange anyway.

Thank you.

♪ ("CHILDREN OF CHILDREN"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

JASON: I grew up in Alabama.

It was very rural
and poor White, everybody.

When we got pregnant with Jason,
we were kids, you know?

I was 18 or so,
but Angelia was 16.

When you're 16 years old,
you think you love him,

and I did. I mean, you know,

as much as you could
at that time.

When I found out I was pregnant,

I said,
"Oh, I'm gonna marry him,

and we're gonna live
happily ever after."

♪ I was riding
On my mother's hip ♪

♪ She was shorter
Than the corn ♪

♪ And all the years
I took from her ♪

♪ Just by being born ♪

ANGELIA BARNETT:
Because we were so young,

he didn't realize
he was a child.

JASON: I had no barometer
for reaction.

I felt a response
to all of my problems

as though they were as big

and as complicated
as the adult problems

'cause I didn't have any other
eight-year-olds around.

Also, there was
a pretty big religious undertone

to everything down there.

You know, my grandfather
was a preacher,

so as a young child,
I was taught

that what this book says
is exactly true.

The thoughts I was having
at seven and eight were guilt,

guilt, guilt,
shame, shame, shame.

"I'm gonna go to hell."
So that kept me up at night.

Plus, I was a chubby kid,

and definitely
not like everybody else.

You know, I read books,
and I didn't play football.

Just that was enough
to get pickles thrown at you

in the lunchroom, you know?

I was so stressed out
and anxious,

and the I way I took my mind
out of all that

or stopped the wheels
from spinning

was by playing the guitar,

sitting in my room,
playing the guitar.

MIKE ISBELL: He had Strats.

That’s what he liked back then
when he was young.

And, man,
I'd hear him back there

tearing that thing up.

JASON: My parents
did everything they could

to make my childhood
a positive experience,

but they couldn't do everything
that they needed to do.

You know, Dad was always
stressed about money.

Mom was not great with money.

And both had
a pretty short fuse.

They would start arguing,

and it was a very
quick escalation with them.

Now, the house was small,
and the walls were thin,

and the amp was loud.

And so I couldn't hear 'em.

If I turned it up loud
and played rock and roll guitar,

I couldn't hear 'em yelling
at each other.

♪ (ELECTRICAL GUITAR PLAYING) ♪

MIKE: He played good, you know?

And sometimes we were arguing,
we'd stop and listen to him.

This is so hard for me.
He was sitting at the table,

and he said,
"Mom, do you love Dad?"

And I said,
"Of course I love Daddy.

Why? Why would you ask me that?"

And he said, "Well, I love him
'cause he's my daddy,

but I wouldn't love him
if he was my husband."

That's the burden that he had,

and that's the clarity
that he had.

MIKE: He had a big heart
and was a good kid.

It's a tough one
when they have that.

You know, it's easier
to get broke.

(VOCALIZES)

JASON: There was no culture

of any kind
of psychological help

for children or adults,
whatsoever.

You were either fine
or you were crazy,

and if you were crazy,
you went to the 400 Unit.

And if you were fine,

you shut up,
and you went to work.

If not for playing the guitar,
and singing, writing songs,

then I would've been lost
in that middle ground

between fine and crazy.

If that hadn't been there,
I don't, you know,

I really don't know
if I would've been able

to deal with the world at all.
I might've just checked out.

(CLEARS THROAT, HUMS)

JASON: Hearing a song
that really moves you

is like if you
accidentally stumble

on somebody's diary
and it was exactly like yours.

You would say, "Oh, my God,
there's one person

who had the same feelings
that I did," you know?

And all of us are kind
of walking around, thinking,

"Man, am I weird?

Am I the only one
who feels this way?"

And then when somebody
reaches in and says,

"No, no, I'm with you,"

that's it. That's all it is,
you know?

Let's do one more
from the tippy.

(CLEARS THROAT)
It's gonna be hard.

DAVE: You can do it.

Okay.

(SINGS) ♪ And just stand
Stand there ♪

♪ ("DREAMSICLE"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ I guess
We're leaving town again ♪

♪ We're moving out
And moving in ♪

♪ Got to break the news
To all my friends ♪

♪ But they won't care ♪

♪ They'll just find
Another face ♪

♪ To fall behind
To take my place ♪

♪ And run way out
Past second base ♪

♪ And just stand there ♪

One more like that. That's cool.

- JASON: Okay.
- ♪ To fall behind... ♪

ANGELIA: Every single word
of "Dreamsicle"

just hit me
with the broken glass,

the poison ivy. Just words
that nobody else understands,

you know?

Things that I didn't realize
that he actually remembered.

That's the thing about him,
you know, he don't forget much.

His songs are all about,
you know, about real things.

♪ Poison oak and poison ivy ♪

♪ Dirty jokes
That blew right by me ♪

♪ Momma curling up beside me
Crying to herself ♪

♪ Why can't Daddy
Just come home ♪

♪ Forget whatever he did wrong ♪

♪ He's in a hotel all alone
And we need help ♪

DAVE: Let's punch that line.

Twenty-one?

JASON:
Is that the right approach?

AMANDA: Yeah, and it sounds

like the sentiment,
so that's great.

JASON: Right, right.
You're not gonna be like,

"I'm so proud
of my parents' divorce!"

AMANDA: (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, exactly.

JASON: You know,
I still remember

my parents fighting.

And I remember how that felt,
and I remember, you know,

the things that caused me
to be sad

or to be stressed
or to be anxious.

I remember those things.

ANGELIA: You know, one time,
we were in an argument,

and it was bad.

And Jason threw the baseball
through the window.

The baseball through the window
was to get them

to shut the hell up
for three seconds.

♪ Broken glass and broken vows ♪

♪ I'll be 18
Four years from now ♪

♪ With different friends
In a different town ♪

♪ I'll finally be free ♪

JASON: But I definitely felt
like I was in the middle

of their trouble for years.
Because I was put in the middle.

My anger towards one parent
was driven by the other parent.

And I knew that
they weren't supposed

to be doing that to me.
(CHUCKLES)

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MIKE: People say,
"I have no regrets,"

but I can pull some up.

Took me a long time to grow up.

The way I found out
that they were getting a divorce

was my mom picked me up
from baseball camp.

And she said, "We're leaving."

And she told me
that we would come back,

but we were doing that
so Dad would realize how he was.

And so for a long time,
I thought that was possible.

And it's not. (CHUCKLES)
Turns out.

♪ A dreamsicle
On a summer night ♪

♪ In a folding lawn chair ♪

JASON: She took me
to a hotel that night.

♪ Daddy's howling at the moon
Better get home soon ♪

JASON: We went to the mall,

and she bought me
Don Mattingly's rookie card.

I was a fan of Don Mattingly.

♪ Heat lightning
In the evening sky ♪

♪ And my momma's red hair ♪

JASON: I was touched
by the gesture.

I knew what she was doing,
you know?

And I felt for her
because I knew

she was trying to change
the subject, you know?

♪ Hearts breaking
Through the springtime ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

That's it.

We done, baby. Come on in.

All right. Back it up.

Make four. Just mark four
as being master take.

- GENA JOHNSON: Okay.
- DAVE: Awesome. Awesome.

JASON: 'Cause Dave still thinks
the song's about ice cream.

- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- If it is about ice cream,

this is my favorite song
on the record.

(CHUCKLES)

♪ Heat lightning
In the evening sky ♪

♪ And my momma's red hair ♪

♪ Hearts breaking
Through the springtime ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

(CRICKET CHIRPING)

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ Amanda, light of my life ♪

AMANDA: You got
a crazy hair sticking

out the side right there.

So cute. Here,
I'll smooth it out for you

so it looks like shit.
(CHUCKLES)

- ♪ Amanda, light of my life ♪
- AMANDA: (CHUCKLING)
It's all like...

♪ Fate should've made you
A gentleman's wife ♪

It's called "Be Afraid."

AMANDA: But what key
are you going to do it in?

G.

AMANDA: All right.

♪ We've been testing you
And you failed ♪

- That thing's so loud.
- AMANDA: What is?

- The fiddle is right on me.
- AMANDA: Oh.

- Wow.
- So, do I need to move?

- AMANDA: No, I will back up.
- Okay. Okay.

What?

Just the same amount as normal.
(CHUCKLES)

♪ ("BE AFRAID"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ We've been testing you
And you failed ♪

♪ To see how long ♪

♪ That you can sit
With the truth ♪

♪ But you bail ♪

♪ And I don't think
You'd even recognize ♪

♪ The myth of control ♪

♪ And I don't think
You even see it in yourself ♪

♪ Every one of us
Is playing dice ♪

♪ That we didn't roll ♪

♪ And the loser is the last
To ask for help ♪

♪ Be afraid, be very afraid ♪

♪ But do it anyway ♪

Songwriting has gotten
harder for me

as time has gone on

just because
I won't accept things

that I used to accept.

I won't be satisfied
unless this album

is an accurate representation
of where I am as a person,

which means
that I'm more focused

than I used to be in the studio.

This is the cycle
of anxiousness.

Like, any kind of thing
that's going on his brain

just presents as grumpiness,
but really, it's something more.

JASON: Then whatever,

- however we end it.
- DAVE: Cool.

I would love
if you change your playing

to very jangly

instead of that blocky thing,
you know.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It would be way cooler.

Yes, and that's a good start,
just right there. Like that.

Should I play
a twelve-string electric?

- Might be cooler than-- Yes...
- No.

- No? Amanda hates those.
- I hate that.

- Can we--
- 'Cause they don't have
any in Texas.

I know how he gets
when he makes records,

whether or not he sees it
at the time or not.

I'm not super comfortable
being the whipping girl,

so I just chill.

I don't believe that
you're the whipping girl,

but most people don't go
to work with their wife.

Most people come home,
and it's like,

"Oh, my God,
I'm so glad to see you.

I can't wait to tell you
about my day."

But she knows about my day.
What are we gonna talk about?

You know, "Oh, my God,
I'm so glad to see you.

- I saw you 45 seconds ago."
- (CHUCKLES)

"And you fucked up
that harmony part.

And that was cool,
remember that?

- Okay, good night."
- Rub it in.

"What do you want
to watch tonight? All right."

Did you want to be
in the control room or out here?

- I'll just be up here.
- GENA: Okay.

Since the sound of my fiddle
was so much louder than normal.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

AMANDA: My fiddle was
so much louder than normal.

It's just like, dink-dink
in my brain.

- Dink?
- Yeah, dink-dink!

AMANDA: (CHUCKLES)
That's what I sound like?

- Dink-dink.
- You sound like a dink.

Dink.

Remember that grumpiness
I was talking about?

- That's what just happened.
- Let's do the Magnatone.

Fucking loud fiddle.

No, it's not.
It's always this loud.

This is...

Isn't it? Yeah.
That's what I thought.

The 12-string guitar, geez.

If I was producing this record,

I'd take
all the 12-string guitars

and give them away.

JIMBO: Are we gonna play
this song?

AMANDA: That's what
I'm talking about.

We're standing here with our...

- Is there a song?
- ...dicks in the dirt.

JASON: I waited two hours
for somebody else's burrito.

Y'all going to let me
tune this guitar.

(JIMBO CHUCKLES)

- DAVE: Fuck those people.
- JASON: I-- Yeah, I know.

I'm the one paying
for this shit.

Sometimes he needs
a lot of space.

- You're goddamn right.
- He's a big fucking man.

You know, I'm a man
from Alabama, for Christ sakes.

- If the floor's shaking...
- That's what we do.

...Momma's gonna get some space.

Anyway, I don't have--
I can't go on.

Yeah, you got something to do,
or you just want to get out?

AMANDA: Oh, I got
things that I could do.

JASON: Okay, that's fine.

I mean, 'cause I was gonna do
either the...

(SINGS)
♪ Hard part is letting you go ♪

AMANDA: Oh, yeah, that's...

- That one.
- AMANDA: Yeah.

Probably do that one later,
but, you know,

it'd be cool
if you were here for it.

If you don't want to be,
you don't have to be.

AMANDA: Let's do this.

This is--
Let's do this right now.

I don't think I'll be able
to think about this right now

'til we've discussed.

- AMANDA: I'll send you a text.
- Okay. Okay.

Trying to navigate being
in a relationship

where we are family
and we are married

and we have a child together,
and also working in the studio,

you know, is a challenge.

And I don't mean this
to be an excuse for anything.

You know,
it's my own damn fault.

But when I have a hard day,
I can't just go home

and have a drink.

And used to,
that's what I would do.

So there's no escape... for me.

There's the thing, though.

There's the puzzle
you're working out,

that you need to figure out,
I think. "There's no escape."

There is an escape.

You just have to figure out
what it is, and it's music.

- We know that.
- Right.

But I'm not gonna go home
from the studio and sit

and play guitar all night.

AMANDA: Well, no, I know.
But I'm just saying,

then you should find
another one.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Um. And what I would prefer
that to be, in a perfect world,

is spending time
with my daughter,

but I just don't have
time right now.

Well, it's not
that you don't have time.

It's the schedules
are different.

Um. And that wears on me.

If I don't get much time
with her, it wears on me.

Pretty quickly. Um...

And that's that.

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- JASON: Hello, Dave.
- DAVE: Hey, dude.

- JASON: How you doing, buddy?
- DAVE: Fantastic, how about you?

JASON: I had a rough night,
but I'm good.

DAVE: What happened?

JASON: Just, you know,
we'll talk about it later.

DAVE: Okay.

JASON: But I'm happy to be here.

Everything is not good,
but I am in the studio,

so this feels comfortable.

DAVE: Yeah, why do you think
I work in the studio every day?

- JASON: Yeah, no shit, man.
- (DAVE CHUCKLING)

JASON: So I didn't really sleep,

- but, man, I'm good.
- Yeah.

(SNIFFLES)

- Y'all want to do a song?
- DERRY: Yeah.

- All right.
- DAVE: Here we go.

(SINGS)
♪ She waits for the sunshine ♪

Okay, wait.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

One, two, three, four.

♪ Ain't it something
How the night can shine ♪

Let's do it again.
One, two, three, four.

♪ Ain't it something
How the night ♪

Walk into it.
One, two, ready go.

Ah. I counted that
like a fucking idiot.

- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Wow.

JASON: While we were recording
Reunions,

I was telling myself,

"This is good.
This is fine. This is easy.

You have this under control."
And that was not true.

What was true was,
I was really pressured

and very stressed
and sort of having

a come-apart in there.

Like, "Ugh, is this gonna
be any good or not?"

(JASON HUMS)

Amanda could definitely
see something

that even I couldn't see
at that point.

That's, I think, the thing
that frustrates her the most

is when I refuse
to acknowledge something

that she can see.

I just couldn't be
around it anymore

'cause it was so...

fake. It was so fake.

JASON: ♪ Somebody told her
She was beautiful ♪

♪ Every time she turned around ♪

♪ But when she opened up
Her mouth to speak ♪

♪ It clearly didn't make
A sound ♪

AMANDA: Everything
was so magnified and intense,

and I just was like,

if you could just say
that all this bullshit

is because you're nervous
or under pressure or whatever

that'd go a lot further

than pretending it all away,
you know?

JASON: ♪ She waits
For the sun to rise ♪

♪ Behind his midnight eyes ♪

♪ And the windstorm
Had passed ♪

♪ And ain't it something
How the night can shine ♪

♪ Through a bottle
of wine against a bedroom wall ♪

♪ And ain't it something
When her eyes light up ♪

♪ And it's exactly enough
And you can let yourself fall ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

- DAVE: We done.
- Good, thank God.

DAVE: So, you're coming
later tomorrow?

Yep. I just have to sleep
'cause I didn't last night...

- DAVE: Yeah.
- ...so I won't be any later
than 2:00, though.

Okay, you should go home

and just put your iPhone
outside tonight

- for a little while.
- (JASON CHUCKLES)

And bring the noise in

- from your home.
- JASON: Oh, record?

- DAVE: Yeah.
- Yeah, that would be nice,

but I'm not going
to my home tonight.

- DAVE: Oh, okay.
- Anything'll sound too good

in the hall at the Omni.

DAVE: Oh, is that
where you're staying tonight?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

- DAVE: Well...
- Maybe tomorrow, Dave.

DAVE: Well, whenever you do.

All right, everybody,
I'll see you guys tomorrow.

PATTERSON HOOD: Jason
is extremely hard on himself,

and it can be painful
for everyone around him.

I knew the first moment
I ever met him,

he was destined for greatness.

But Jason was young
when he joined our band.

JASON: I had always planned
on being in a band.

I'd always had that
as my driving force, you know?

The Drive-By Truckers had played
in Nashville

at one of the first
Americana Music Conferences,

and the next day,

the guitar player
didn't show up,

and Jason just sat in.

You know, I was like,
"Man, you mind

if I play with you guys
since you're one short?"

PATTERSON: He was like
a way-next-level guitar player.

Jason's playing along

like he had been rehearsing it
for years.

So at the end of the night,

I was like, "Hey, man,
get in the van.

Let's go play some
rock and roll." (CHUCKLES)

I was, "Yes, I'm there.
I'll do it."

You know, I wanted to get out,

get on the road, and tour.
And I wanted to write songs.

I wanted people to hear 'em.
I was so excited. So excited.

PATTERSON: The next day,
his mom dropped him off

to get in our van
to leave for Oklahoma.

ANGELIA: And Jason's like,
"Mom, whatever you do,

don't say,

'Take care of my boy,
or something like that.'"

She's sizing me up. It's like,

"You're not gonna let my boy
die out there, are you?"

They open the back of the van,
and there lays Earl Hicks,

passed out drunk.
Patterson comes around.

And he puts his arm
around Jason,

and he says, "Don't worry, Mom.

We're gonna take real good care
of your boy."

It was like that scene
from Almost Famous,you know?

"Don't do drugs!" (CHUCKLES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Y'all know Jason, don't you?

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

JASON: Coming into that
was mind-boggling for me

because it really was
exchanging everything I knew

for something
completely different.

There was a lot of humor,
and there was a lot of drinking

and a lot of things
that I had never seen before.

PATTERSON: The first tour
with Jason was beyond magical.

He wrote "Decoration Day"
like the fourth day

he was in the band.
I'm like, "Holy shit,

where's this kid been
all my life," you know?

It's like, "Oh,
elementary school." (CHUCKLES)

("DECORATION DAY"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING)

♪ It's Decoration Day ♪

♪ Had a mind to roll
A stone on his grave ♪

♪ But what would he say? ♪

♪ He'd say, "Keeping me down
Ain't gonna keep you away" ♪

♪ It's Decoration Day ♪

♪ And I knew
The Hill boys put him away ♪

♪ But my daddy wasn't afraid ♪

♪ He said, "We'd fight ♪

♪ Until the last Lawson's
Last living day" ♪

JASON: It was everything
I ever wanted.

You know, the things
that I'd sit in my room

and rehearsed while my parents
were getting a divorce.

It was the fantasy
that I went to to disconnect

from the house that I was in.

It was everything.
It was everything.

No matter what went wrong
in my life,

I thought, "But I can do this."

PATTERSON:
With Jason joining the band,

we basically jumped
from one size room

over the next size room
to the next size room

in a space
of about three months.

We had this chemistry
that made us better together

than any of us were separate.

And so it was like
this really powerful thing.

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

TRACI THOMAS:
The Drive-By Truckers

were pretty established
and, you know, kind of

"professional drinkers,"

you know, by the time
he joined the band.

And it was just a rolling party.

PATTERSON: I mean,
we drank a lot, you know?

We rocked hard. We drank hard.
We drove hard. We lived hard.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

It wouldn't be right
for me to say all of the sudden,

I started drinking
and doing drugs

when I joined the band.

It's just that the situations
were heavier

than what I'd been used to.

♪ ("DANKO / MANUEL"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ I ain't living like I should ♪

♪ A little rest
Might do me good ♪

ANGELIA: I think drinking
gave him confidence.

Not, "I'm gonna be a badass
and fight you,

but I can express myself
whereas I am that Southern man

who doesn't express himself
if I'm not drinking."

♪ And I ain't living
Like I should ♪

JASON: I was adjusting
to the world outside

- of my Alabama upbringing...
- (CROWD CHEERING)

...and dealing with stuff
from my childhood

that I never dealt with.

I mean, that's probably
the biggest part of it,

was the fact that...
(INHALES DEEPLY) ...you know,

I never had any kind of therapy
and didn't know

that my problems were problems
that could be solved.

PATTERSON: We can look back now

and see a lot
of dangerous patterns emerging

with his drinking.

But we were
a little oblivious to that,

I'm ashamed to say, at the time.

We would be on stage performing
and handing each other

the bottle of whiskey
and take a swig

out of the bottle, you know?

Then after the show,
you'd go out to a bar,

I mean, already lit,

and go out to have six
or seven more.

It just snowballed.

PATTERSON: There was one night
in Memphis

that was the first ever hint
of there being this dark side,

you know, 'cause he was so--
he was so Jason.

He was kind of a ray of light.

("GODDAMN LONELY LOVE"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING)

JASON: I was highly inebriated.
I drank, you know,

an entire handle
of Jack Daniel's.

I took some cocaine
and some valium

or something like that.

And I overdosed and, you know,
woke up all bloody.

And Shonna, the bass player
in the Drive-By Truckers,

who I was dating at the time,
was slapping me

and crying and thought
that I was dead.

He was pretty cut up
and looked like

he had been in a fight.

He might've been cutting himself
a little bit. I don't know.

It-- Something got
really fucked up that night.

Obviously,
some things had gone

very wrong with Jason.

♪ So I'll take two
Of what you're having ♪

♪ And I'll take all
Of what you got ♪

♪ To kill this goddamn lonely ♪

♪ Goddamn lonely love ♪

JASON: I felt like
what I was gonna do

was straighten my life out,

and I felt like
I owed it to Shonna

because she had taken care
of me.

We went, I think, the next day
to the courthouse

and got married.

But I was not prepared
for a marriage or any kind

of a real relationship
at that point.

♪ All I got
Is this goddamn lonely ♪

♪ Goddamn lonely love ♪

I just wasn't being
an actual grown-up.

I had built the illusion
of grown-upness,

but I was not living
as an adult.

TRACI: The Drive-By Truckers
were playing

at Webster Hall one night.

And I remember getting
to the venue,

and Jason just announces to me,
"I'm getting divorced."

When the relationship
between Jason and Shonna

started going bad...

you know, that affected
all of us for sure.

By that time, we're in a bus,

but a bus becomes
a really small place quick

when there's 11 people
living in it.

That period was bad.
That was a bad time in my life.

(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

PATTERSON: He was,
in a lot of ways,

spiraling out of control.

And I saw the potential
for that to get a lot worse.

There was a point where I was
definitely worried about,

you know, him dying.

The situation with Jason
had gotten so bad

that it was just--
it was making us

not enjoy our job.

It was threatening
the life of the band.

TRACI: Honestly, I think
his ego also started growing

and getting out of control.

And there's only
so much people can take.

Patterson and Cooley
just put a stop to it.

It was shocking to me
when I was fired.

But in hindsight, it should
not have been shocking to me.

(CHUCKLES) Now,
I look back at it,

and, yeah, I would've fired
that guy too. What an asshole.

PATTERSON: Breaking up
with Jason damn near killed me

in a lot of ways. I mean,

I was beyond heartbroken
to see it ending like that.

I was terrified about what
it was gonna do to the band

because he was
a vital important part

of what we were doing.

- That's a big thing to lose.
- JASON: I mean, I didn't want

my parents
to get a divorce either.

But, you know now
I'm glad they did

'cause in hindsight,
they were pretty...

(CHUCKLES)
...you know, pretty miserable.

PATTERSON:
Definitely felt some guilt

when things started
going wrong with him.

Maybe we should've handled it
differently.

Maybe we should've been
more aware.

Maybe we should've, you know,
maybe I should've.

Maybe I should've been
more aware.

I was the one who put him
in that van that night.

I'm the one who told his momma
he was gonna be okay.

You know, it's very sad.
It was very sad.

I went to a bar
to go get very, very drunk

and ordered a double
and then another one

and another one and another one.
For five more years. (CHUCKLES)

♪ ("ONLY CHILDREN"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ That's what your momma said ♪

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ Heaven's waste... ♪

Why that doesn't feel
right to me.

For the bridge, so, uh, C.

♪ Heaven's waste... ♪

Let's try C...

♪ Heaven's wasted
On the dead ♪

- AMANDA: How've you been doing?
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

MAN: Hey,
where have you been lately?

Oh, just doing
all kinds of stuff.

- MAN: I like your glasses.
- Thank you.

- You know, got to keep it vibey.
- (MAN CHUCKLES)

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ That's what your momma said ♪

♪ And the hearse idling
In the parking lot ♪

So we'll take it
from right after the chorus

so everybody knows
where they're at. Okay?

- JASON: Okay.
- Back up.

JASON: On the bridge,
should I play a chord, like...

- No, no. Keep picking, yeah.
- JASON: Just keep going? Okay.

♪ ("ONLY CHILDREN"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ That's what your momma said ♪

♪ And the hearse was idling
In the parking lot ♪

♪ She said you thought
The world of me ♪

♪ And you were glad to see ♪

♪ They finally let me be
An astronaut ♪

♪ Are you still taking notes?
You have anyone to talk to? ♪

♪ Castle walls
That you can walk through? ♪

♪ And do the dead believe
In ghosts? ♪

♪ Or are you lost
In some old building ♪

♪ With over-encouraged
Only children? ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

DAVE: Amazing. Do you wanna go
into overdubs,

or do you want to go
into another song?

JASON: Oh, I need
about 20 minutes to myself.

So I'm gonna take that,
and then I'll come in and do...

All right.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

I mean, now's not
a really great time for me,

- but... Okay.
- JASON: Okay, no problem.

My wife and I got in a spot
that was probably pretty close

to just calling
the whole thing off.

Uh, yeah, it was definitely
close to that.

She was offended by my behavior,
and I was offended by hers.

We just kept our distance
for a week or more.

That's part of what made it
so difficult for me,

was the fact that we didn't know

what to say to each other,
you know?

We didn't know how to talk
or communicate

at that point in time.

AMANDA: Yeah, but th--
He was being an asshat.

He wouldn't talk to me
on the phone.

He wouldn't respond
to my text messages.

I sent an email
full of my thoughts,

and he didn't respond for,
like, fucking three days.

JASON: I just-- I have
to be able to work

no matter what stupid shit
is going on.

DAVE: Really, you can? I can't.

JASON: Well, I don't have
a choice, Dave.

- It's either that or fail.
- DAVE: Yeah.

Um, I think now we can switch
into overdub.

JASON: Yeah, I think so, too.

DAVE: All right,
here we go from the top.

♪ ("ST. PETER'S AUTOGRAPH"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

AMANDA: "Dear Mr. Husband,

I know you're under
a lot of stress and pressure,

whether you think it or not.
I can see it in your face.

I know that you aren't sleeping,

and focusing so hard
is probably wearing you out.

I'm sorry all this happened
during your record-making.

The other night,
I was truly asking questions

and trying to figure out my role
in the studio

because it felt a lot like
I was unnecessary.

You made comments to me
that embarrassed me.

Then you couldn't answer
the question about

if I should be there or not
because you wanted me

to decide for myself.

Or as you said, 'I don't know
if I need you there.'

You were holding on so tight
to your position

that you couldn't see that you
were hurting my feelings.

I had, and still have,
so many tears.

I was considering
marriage counseling with you

this last week
because I thought it might help.

Then this morning, I pictured
us going, and I was happy.

Who gets excited
about marriage counseling?

Then I cried like a dingbat
because this is

what it has come to for me,
for us.

Dates to marriage counseling.

You know that I am open
to most all things,

and I'm quick to accept my share

or more of my share
of the blame." Whoo.

"You said,
'I'm not broken anymore.'

I know that.
I appreciate how strong you are

and the ways
that you have changed.

I don't need you to be broken
or dented or anything.

I just love you.
See you at the stooge."

(CHUCKLES)

♪ ("ST. PETER'S AUTOGRAPH"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ What do I do
To make you smile? ♪

♪ You been hurting for a while ♪

♪ What can I do
To make you laugh? ♪

♪ Get Saint Peter's autograph ♪

♪ What's that distance
In your eye? ♪

♪ Has your faith
Been compromised? ♪

♪ What can I do
To help you sleep? ♪

♪ I'll work hard
And work for cheap ♪

♪ Sometimes it's nothing
But the way you're wired ♪

♪ And that's not your fault ♪

♪ We're all struggling
With the world on fire ♪

♪ And the fear we're taught ♪

♪ Now you've lost
Another friend ♪

♪ Who couldn't stay
To see the end ♪

♪ He had somewhere else to be ♪

♪ Cut him down
And burn the tree ♪

♪ There's no shelter
From the rain ♪

♪ And I can't comprehend
Your pain ♪

♪ But I got arms
And I got ears ♪

♪ And I will always be
Right here ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

Amanda and I have very
different personalities

but identical values.

I think at the root of things,
we both care very,

very much for each other
and very much

for each other's work.

I don't think
she's done with me,

and I'm not done with her.

So, sometimes it's like,
"Well, we can't figure out

exactly how to get
the bridge built,

but I'm just gonna wave
at you from this side."

Then you have
to keep your own identity

and your own boundaries intact,
I think. So, I think sometimes,

like, space and time
is a good thing

'cause we, like, live together,
we work together,

- we record together.
- Yeah, that's a big one.

- That's a big one.
- And so sometimes,

it's nice to take a breath
and be, like... you know...

(DOOR OPENING, CLOSES)

JASON: Well, hello.
Look at your overalls.

MERCY ROSE:
I have a present for you.

JASON: What is it?

- Aw!
- MERCY: Open it.

JASON: Come on in.
I'll open it inside.

- Hey, guys.
- MAN: Hey, buddy.

- How you doing?
- JASON: Thanks for coming.

♪ (SOFT VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

I haven't been here
in a long time.

JASON: I know.
It's been a while.

What do you think
about the place?

You hear that?
Who's that sound like?

- MERCY: Mommy.
- JASON: Yeah.

That's neat too.

Go see her.

- Hey!
- DAVE: Hey, Mercy.

- What's up?
- (MERCY CHUCKLES)

How are you doing?

- MERCY: I gave Daddy a present.
- AMANDA: You did?

Mm. Give me some love.
I missed you so much.

Thank y'all for bringing her by.

- MERCY: Open it!
- Look at that!

It's me and Santa.

That's the best picture
I ever got.

That's the best picture
I ever gotten.

- I love you, buddy.
- Did you eat the chocolate?

I haven't yet.
I put it in my pocket.

I'm gonna eat it
at the perfect time.

- After dinner.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

♪ ("WHAT'VE I DONE TO HELP"
BY JASON ISBELL
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) ♪

♪ We climbed to safety
You and me and the baby ♪

♪ Sent our thoughts
And prayers to loved ones ♪

♪ On the ground ♪

♪ And as the days went by
We just stopped looking down ♪

♪ Down, down ♪

♪ Now the world's on fire
And we just climb higher ♪

♪ Until we're no longer bothered
By the smoke and sound ♪

♪ Good people suffer
And the heart gets tougher ♪

♪ Nothing given, nothing found ♪

♪ What've I done to help?
What've I done to help? ♪

♪ Somebody saved me ♪

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

JASON: I don't look at something
and think,

"This is gonna be difficult."

I just look at it and think,
"Is this worth doing or not?"

Is it better for us to do this
as a team?

My family
is incredibly important to me,

but my job is very important
to me, too,

because I know
that I could not be

of any use to anybody else

if I had to do
something different

with my life. I mean,
this is the mask

that I have to put on first

before I can put
anybody else's on, you know?

Dave, you ready?

DAVE: Do you want to sit
the couch or...

- JASON: I think here is fine.
- DAVE: Okay.

Let's put it in record, Gena.

All right.

♪ ("LETTING YOU GO"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ The nurse helped us buckle
The seat in the car ♪

♪ And they sent us on our way ♪

♪ I drove home so slow ♪

♪ We had no instructions
And the first days were hard ♪

♪ But there's things
About babies ♪

♪ A woman just knows ♪

♪ At 3:00 in the morning ♪

♪ I lay my hand
Over your heart ♪

♪ Just to know you were safe
In your sleep ♪

♪ When you started walking
I'd fight back the urge ♪

♪ To stay right there beside you
To keep you on your feet ♪

♪ And being your daddy
Comes natural ♪

♪ Roses just know how to grow ♪

♪ It's easy to see ♪

♪ That you'll get
Where you're going ♪

♪ But the hard part
Is letting you go... ♪

♪ (SONGS CONCLUDES) ♪

- Hmm, hmm. Hmm.
- DAVE: Shit, dude. Whoo.

- That's incredible.
- Thank you. Take me a minute.

And then, the older you get,
the more emotional you get.

Like, I can't hardly talk
to anybody

without something
choking me up now.

It's a good thing
you don't have a bunch

of hired guns in your band
when that happens

'cause they'd be going off
tomorrow to Black Bird

and telling everybody
in the studio,

"That son of a bitch was crying
at his own song.

What an asshole."

♪ (SONG CONTINUES) ♪

♪ And now you've decided
To be someone's wife ♪

♪ And we walk down the aisle
And I'll give you away ♪

♪ I wish I could walk with him
Back through your life ♪

♪ To see every last minute
Of every last day ♪

♪ To hear your first words ♪

♪ And to feel
Your first heartbreak ♪

♪ To sing you to sleep
When you're scared of the dark ♪

♪ The best I can do
Is to let myself trust ♪

♪ That you know
Who'll be strong enough ♪

♪ To carry your heart ♪

♪ And being your daddy
Comes natural... ♪

DAVE: I'm a dad.

I can't help but to hear
the lyrics on that one.

He's always got those songs,

that jerk, he makes us
all a mess and cry.

♪ It's easy to see ♪

♪ That you'll get
Where you're going ♪

♪ But the hard part
Is letting you go ♪

♪ The hard part
Is letting you go ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

The good thing
is your daughter's four.

- JASON: Mm-hmm.
- Got some time. (CHUCKLES)

JASON: Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.
I do have some time.

- Love you so much. I miss you.
- (WHISPERS) Love you so much.

- But, hey, guess what?
- What?

We get done with this record,

that means we get
to go back on tour

and play new songs
for everybody

and go have lots
of fun together, okay?

- Maybe do "Oh Well" again?
- I'll do "Oh Well" again.

- That's your favorite?
- And "Anxiety?"

Yeah, and "Anxiety."
All your favorites.

I won't throw them out.

I'll still play them
for you, okay?

Okay.
When will you throw them out?

I don't think I ever will.

I think I'll just
keep playing them for you

as long as you want
to hear them, okay?

I want to hear them forever.

Okay, good. Well,
that's what we'll do.

(KISSES)

- You'll always be with me.
- Yeah, I will.

- Ever.
- Forever.

Always be your what?
What are we?

- BFFs.
- BFFs.

(MERCY WHISPERING)

JASON: You know, you get
in this headspace,

I think, when you're an addict,
where you think,

"I can control my little corner
of the universe."

And things come in
and remind you that

that's not really possible.

So, all you can really control
is your reactions to things.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(NEIGHS)

SAM JONES: (OVER LAPTOP) Okay,
so you push the red button.

Is there a red light
on the screen?

JASON: Red dot is on.

SAM: Can you get some audio
on the back of camera, too?

Is there some movement
when you make--

JASON: Hello. Hey, audio, yeah.
Yeah, that's working.

SAM: Okay, good.
Welcome to pandemic filmmaking.

Let me just close
this Zoom window here,

and we'll be ready to go.

AMANDA: Ready for your first
interview questions?

Yeah.

SAM: What does quarantine
mean to you?

It means that you have
to stay home.

SAM: What do you like
to do during the day

- in quarantine?
- Well...

sometimes, just sometimes...

I have the best days ever.

Momma! Stay back!
It's not a good idea!

AMANDA: (CHUCKLES)
What's not a good idea, huh?

Here you go. Here you go.

Do you want
to give them some food?

That's what they're following
you for.

- Really? Throw some.
- AMANDA: Okay.

Who's gonna get it?

AMANDA: You know, I've been
touring since I was 12

and professionally
since I was 15.

And this is the first time
in my whole life

that I haven't played music,
like,

at least once every four
or five days.

JASON: One coming
right behind you, Momma.

(CLUCKS)

- JASON: Ow!
- (AMANDA CHUCKLES)

- JASON: Boy, she got me hard.
- MERCY: One pecked my leg.

JASON: She got my toe big time,
thinking it was a worm.

TRACI: Technically,
this is probably

the most time Jason and Amanda

have ever actually
spent together.

(SCREAMS)
They're pecking my toes.

TRACI: Amanda very much
has her own career

outside the 400 Unit.
So there can be weeks at a time

when they're not together
because they're each

touring
behind their own projects.

JASON: Usually, she goes
somewhere and I go somewhere,

and then we come back together,
and we compare our experiences.

- AMANDA: Yeah.
- JASON: And now all of a sudden,

that has stopped.

The ways that we used
to celebrate being alive

are not available to us now,
so we celebrate being alive

by catching fireflies
and watching skunks

and picking flowers
and weeding the garden.

This is not Thoreau.

I'm not saying
that this is the way

- humans should live.
- AMANDA: But we don't get to--

- JASON: I don't like it.
- AMANDA: Yeah.

I didn't used to be
a stop-and-look-in-the-bird-nest

- kind of guy.
- (CHUCKLES)

- But I'm an egg counter now.
- (AMANDA CHUCKLES)

(MERCY GROANS)

(SHRIEKING)

JASON: There they go.

How do you like
that new voice you got, babies?

(CHUCKLES)

AMANDA: I don't know
if it's just that the lens

has gotten so small

'cause we're
in these little bubbles

of our own stuff,
but I'm wrestling with what,

like, what are--
what is our purpose now?

I knew she would do that.
She always does that.

Did you see her? You missed her?
She flew right out.

And always get her
at a bad time.

- Three little eggs.
- I caught it!

AMANDA: Nurturing things
and distracting myself

is the best way
that I can sort of, you know,

try to not think too hard
on all this crap.

Hello?

JOSH: (OVER CELL PHONE)
Hey, is that Jason?

Yeah, this is Jason.

JOSH: Hey, Jason.
This is Josh from Guitar.com.

- How's it going, man?
- How are you doing, Josh?

JOSH: Yeah, yeah,
not too bad, man, not too bad.

- How you doing yourself?
- Doing all right.

We're all stuck
in the house still,

but we're healthy.
We're doing okay.

- (CELL PHONE BEEPS)
- Oh, wait. I'm getting

another call
from London right now.

- Let me--
Hold on there a second.
- JOSH: Okay.

Are you with the Sun?

JOSH: Uh, no.
I'm with Guitar.com.

Okay. I've got you listed
for 12:30. Can you call me back?

JOSH: Yeah, yeah,
definitely, definitely...

Fantastic. We'll do that
in an hour and a half.

- JOSH: Okay. That's good, man.
- Thank you.

They never ever get
the times right.

I'm so glad you saw that.

TRACI:
Since the pandemic started,

we are constantly evolving
our plans for the record,

plans for touring,

trying to keep the ball rolling,
basically.

The record's called Reunions,
and it is done. It is complete.

This is the beautiful vinyl
that we will be releasing out

into this mad world.

JOSH: (OVER CELL PHONE)
It's a strange time

to be releasing an album
in some ways, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a strange time
to be doing anything.

It's a strange time to go
to the grocery store.

But, you know,
definitely releasing an album

because you're so used to
that immediate gratification

of going out
and performing the songs live.

♪ (MELLOW MUSIC
PLAYING ON GUITAR) ♪

- Hello. Oh, hello. Hello.
- AMANDA: I had the lens cap on.

Hello, lens cap
from the world of tomorrow.

- AMANDA: Welcome to sound check.
- Welcome.

AMANDA: There's Zach.

JASON: It's dark out here.

Here's our things.

You can see the only thing
we've opened so far

are the Doritos.
And by "we," I mean "me."

AMANDA:
Happy record release day.

JASON: Happy record release day.

Amanda Shires
being her glam squad.

Be your own glam squad.

AMANDA: Tell us how you feel
about release day.

I feel good about release day.

It's exciting to release
an album that I feel good about.

I think it's a good album,
but it's also really weird

because the pandemic has changed
the way we do everything,

- including releasing the album.
- And we miss our band today.

We miss our band so much.
We miss our audience.

- AMANDA: Yeah.
- JASON: We miss our crew.

I miss our bus.

♪ ("IT GETS EASIER"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Last night I dreamed
That I'd been drinking ♪

♪ Same dream
I have about twice a week ♪

♪ I had a glass of wine
I woke up feeling fine ♪

♪ And that's how I knew
It was a dream ♪

♪ It gets easier
But it never gets easy ♪

♪ I can say it's all worth it
But you won't believe me ♪

♪ And you can't expect her
To follow your lead ♪

♪ She's fine with her wine
And her weed ♪

♪ It gets easier
But it never gets easy ♪

♪ It never gets easy... ♪

JASON: This album was
the biggest thing

that I've ever done.

And the process
of making it wasn't easy.

I wanted to be there
with my band, making really,

really loud noises and then,
you know, eating dinner

and drinking some kind
of non-alcoholic cocktail

and high-fiving each other,
making goofy speeches.

And that was not available
to me.

♪ It gets easier
But it never gets easy ♪

♪ It never gets easy ♪

♪ It never gets easy ♪

- ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Amanda says, "Congratulations.

I know it's not what you hoped,
but it's awesome."

And thank you very much.

Thank you
for understanding that.

'Cause it is weird as shit.
This is weird.

If you got little kids,
tell 'em don't say "shit"

if you want to,
but I'm gonna say it again.

This is weird as shit,
but it would feel weirder

to not put a record out
because when I make a record,

I make it about my life
and how my life is then.

And my life changes,
so I don't want to wait a year

and then talk about
what my life was like.

- Thanks.
- AMANDA: Happy record release!

- JASON: Yay!
- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

JASON: You know,
it turned out being better

than I expected,
and it turned out

being a great experience for me
and for the audience, I think,

but it wasn't
what I wanted to do.

And that sort of lack
of celebration...

was... was deflating for me.

♪ (UPBEAT DRUMS PLAYING) ♪

CHAD: When the record
was due to drop,

I was still holding on
to hope that before too long,

we can get out
and do something behind this.

When I finally came around
to the reality,

which is, I'm not going anywhere
for a good while,

depression would kind of set in.

TRACI: The guys need
some love.

They're really proud
of the record,

and they just are sitting home,
watching from the sidelines.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

JIMBO: It doesn't feel right.
It's unsettling, you know.

I feel like I should be on tour,
you know? I mean, I really do.

My body is telling me
I should have wheels...

(CHUCKLES) ...underneath me
right now, you know?

Like I feel the pull
of the highway, so to speak.

♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DERRY: The way
I've been dealing with it

has just been to go
with the flow of things.

TRACI: I have no idea
what Derry's doing.

He looks like
he's building a spaceship.

(BEEPS)

(WHIRRS)

SADLER: The new
400 Unit record,Reunions,

is the top-selling album
in the country.

In a different time,
if you had the number-one record

on the charts,
you wouldn't be so worried

about the next month.

JASON: Considering the fact
that we're in a pandemic,

I expected way less
and was prepared

to be okay with that.

So this is an incredible
surprise for me.

SADLER: In some ways,
it's a bittersweet thing,

but I will say I never thought
I would play in a band

that had a number-one anything.

What I meant to say was,
I always knew I'd play in a band

that would have
a number-one album.

One, two, three.

♪ ("WHAT'VE I DONE TO HELP?"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ What've I done to help? ♪

♪ What've I done to help?
Somebody saved me ♪

♪ What've I done to help?
What've I done to help? ♪

♪ And not myself? ♪

♪ What've I done to help?
What've I done to help? ♪

♪ Somebody saved me ♪

JASON: I had a little bit
of a come-apart yesterday.

Amanda and I were filming
a live performance for CBS,

and about halfway through
the first song,

the Amazon delivery guy came up
onto the porch

- and dropped something off.
- (TRUCK BEEPING)

JASON: It was sort of like
a breaking point for me.

You know, I just told Amanda,
"I'm fucking tired of this.

I'm-- I've had enough.

I know that
we're in a much better situation

than most people are,
but I've still just had enough

of this shit.
It just fucking sucks."

It's like you sit down
to eat a sandwich,

and all you have
are two slices of bread.

You don't have anything
to put in between it.

You're trying to pretend
it's a sandwich,

and then halfway through it,
somebody comes up

and interrupts you.
And you want to say,

"Goddamn it, I'm already
just eating two slices of bread

and pretending it's a sandwich.

Why can't you
just let me do that?"

AMANDA: He's not aware
when he does it,

but he'll be like,
"Are you not having any fun?"

And then he stomps around
and is grumpy, and I was like,

"Are you having fun, you know?
What are you doing?"

But then after the recording,
he sat down

and just started talking
about all of it.

Kind of just kind of, like, uh,

when you get
in an over-full bathtub,

but it just kind of splashes
everywhere.

JASON: You know,
when's the next time

I'm gonna play a regular show
at The Greek

for thousands of people?

All crammed in together,
jumping up and down

and sweating and dancing
and having a good time.

Is it gonna be five years?
Is it ever gonna happen again?

If it wasn't for Amanda
and Mercy,

I would possibly go back
to drinking

because who gives a fuck?
Who's even watching?

Who's looking anymore?

It's not like
I'm gonna mess up a show.

I can't go play one.
I'm not going to do that

because I spend a ton of time
with my daughter

and with my wife,
and I would let them down.

But if they weren't around here,
I don't know if I would be safe.

I don't know
if my recovery would be safe.

♪ ("HURRICANES
AND HAND GRENADES"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ I got a glass of wine ♪

♪ I got a cigarette ♪

♪ I should be feeling fine ♪

♪ But I ain't feeling
Nothing yet ♪

♪ She's leading
The second line ♪

♪ Feel like I'm in front of it
And I guess I am tonight ♪

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

DERRY: Typical day
for the old Jason.

Wake up, it's probably
already past noon.

Get in the van.

There's probably some bottles
of liquor on the floor

of the van to tide you over,

unload the gear,
drink some more.

Play a show
while drinking some more.

- (CROWD CHEERING)
- ♪ (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DERRY: Finish the show,
drink some more,

and then hit repeat.

CHAD:
There was usually never a day

filled with great decisions.
(CHUCKLES)

I mean, the day-to-day
was pretty rough.

DERRY: Right before
Jason went sober,

I was actually looking online
for internet security courses.

(CHUCKLES)

Just as a fallback in case
everything self-destructed.

JASON: Honestly,
I didn't consider getting sober

until I met Amanda.

You know, I thought

she's not gonna...
stick around for this.

You know, at first,
when you're hanging out,

you think that a person,
you see 'em off and on,

they're just having fun
that night

or for a couple of nights,

and it just got
progressively worse and worse,

and, um, you start
noticing patterns, like about...

he never woke up
in the morning.

It was always in the afternoon.
But he always woke up drinking.

And there's a lot of things
that go along with that

that are not fun
to be around, but...

JASON: One night,
I got real drunk,

and I said, "I need help
to quit drinking

and I don't think
I can do it on my own."

And... Amanda said,
"Well, you know,

if you're sure about that,
you know,

I'm gonna have
to do some things,

and you're not gonna like 'em."

I really think that somebody
probably would've helped

or tried to help
if it hadn't been me.

Or I hope somebody would.

So it started with a text
from her that it was time,

and I said, "Well,
I need to hear that from him."

And he texted me
that "I think it's time

I do something
about my drinking.

I want to be present

while all this good stuff
is happening."

Not like
in the Drive-By Truckers days.

JASON: So Traci went
to the rehab folks,

and earliest they could get me
in was Monday.

The Saturday night,

we were playing
a private show in Virginia.

It was his last hurrah.

And I don't think
I've ever told him this

that I have the audio
and the DVD of that.

And it's just something
I've always tucked away

just in case he ever slipped.

♪ ("ALABAMA PINES"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Well, I moved into this room
If you could call it that ♪

♪ A week ago ♪

♪ I never do
What I'm supposed to do ♪

♪ Hardly even know
My name anymore ♪

♪ When no one calls it out
It kind of vanishes away ♪

♪ And I can't get
To sleep at night ♪

♪ The parking lot's
So loud and bright ♪

♪ The AC hasn't worked
In 20 years ♪

♪ Probably never made
A single person cold ♪

♪ But I can't say
The same for me ♪

♪ I've done it many times ♪

♪ Somebody take me home
Through those Alabama pines ♪

They had a bunch of moonshine
from Fredericksburg.

The moonshine capital
of the world.

The place where
they've always made

the best moonshine.
So I drank a ton of that.

- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
- JASON: And I think
I took some MDMA at some point.

And tried to get a tattoo,

and they wouldn't give me
a tattoo

'cause I was too fucked up.
Everybody was pissed at me

'cause I had gotten so drunk
and made such an ass of myself.

- (CHUCKLES)
- MAN: Dude, you're wasted.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)
Man, this is a party.

TRACI: It was the first time

I'd ever heard him
drunk on stage.

Hey, Derry deBorja, everybody!
Yeah! Whoo! Duh!

- MAN: Play a song!
- TRACI: And then, I guess

it was really after the show
that things got really,

really ugly.

JASON: Amanda and I
got into an argument,

and, you know, I think
I got kind of scary to her.

That was sort of a, like,

kind of not the best night
for him. So...

JASON: I don't think
she was going to stay with me

at that point. I think
she was like, "Okay,

I want you to get sober.
I'll help you.

I'll be your friend.
But I don't think

I can be in a relationship
with you, you know?"

So I thought my relationship
was done.

So when I was in rehab,
I just wrote letters to her,

um,

the whole time, and it worked.
I can write a letter.

♪ ("COVER ME UP" BY JASON ISBELL
PLAYING) ♪

♪ A heart on the run
Keeps a hand on a gun ♪

♪ It can't trust anyone ♪

♪ I was so sure
What I needed was more ♪

♪ Tried to shoot out the sun ♪

♪ The days when we raged
We flew off the page ♪

♪ Such damage was done ♪

♪ But I made it through
'Cause somebody knew ♪

♪ I was meant for someone... ♪

JASON: That was fucked up
in a lot of different ways,

but I was lucky enough
to realize

that if I can just
quit drinking,

then I might have everything
I ever wanted.

AMANDA: It's not hard
to commit to somebody,

I don't think.

I mean... if you're in love
with him.

He proposed, and I said yes.

But I wanted him to be sober
at least a year

before I continued on.

And it's no guarantee. Like,
I can trust him,

but I can't trust
the addiction at all, you know?

♪ Cover me up
And know you're enough ♪

♪ To use me for good... ♪

There's a couple of parts
in "Cover Me Up"

I still don't like to hear,
but I listen to it anyway.

Now he knows that I liked him
even at his worst.(CHUCKLING)

♪ Put your faith to the test
When I tore off your dress ♪

♪ In Richmond on high ♪

♪ But I sobered up ♪

♪ I swore off that stuff
Forever this time... ♪

JASON: We had a moment recently
where we came to the conclusion,

through having a couple
of really hard conversations,

that part of our problems
still stem

from unresolved issues
from when we first got together.

And things that happened
when I was still drinking.

I didn't understand
that all those years ago,

there were times
when she felt trapped

and she felt in danger.

♪ So, girl
Hang your dress up to dry ♪

♪ We ain't leaving
This room... ♪

JASON:
I remember my perspective.

I knew that I wasn't gonna
hurt anybody.

But my perspective
wasn't the only one.

In the last few months,

I've been doing
a lot of thinking

about what did
the room look like

from the other corners,
you know?

What did it look like
from the people

who were afraid of me

and didn't know
that ultimately,

uh, it was all gonna be okay?

♪ Cover me up ♪

♪ And know you're enough
To use me for good... ♪

JASON: I had the realization
of what I had put on her.

You know, she was a catalyst
for me getting sober

and cleaning my life up.

I had taken all of this burden
of me

becoming what I am now

and I had put it
on her shoulders.

And then, what started off
as a little tiny relationship

turned into the record
Southeastern,

and it was not
just ours anymore.

♪ Girl, leave your boots
By the bed ♪

♪ We ain't leaving
This room... ♪

JASON: There were people
hearing these songs,

and when they would hear
"Cover Me Up,"

she would go back
to the place

where she was afraid of me.

And nobody
would understand that.

And then the part
that hurt her the worst

is that I didn't understand it
because I wasn't willing

to go back and actually look
at what really happened.

It's a lot to feel like
you're the only person

- in the world that...
- That knows...

- Yeah.
- ...what really happened.

And I should've known
the whole time.

♪ So cover me up ♪

♪ And know you're enough
To use me for good ♪

♪ Cover me up ♪

♪ And know you're enough
To use me for good ♪

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

DERRY: When Jason went sober,
he came out of that experience,

I think, a more caring, kinder,
more empathetic individual.

JASON: I fought
against my own ability

to get better.
And when I stopped doing that,

all of a sudden, I was like,
"Okay, you're not so bad.

You're kind of an asshole,
but we'll figure that out."

And then we sat there together,
me and myself,

and wrote an album
that changed my life.

♪ ("MAYBE IT'S TIME"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die ♪

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die ♪

♪ It takes a lot
To change a man ♪

♪ Hell, it takes a lot to try ♪

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die ♪

♪ Nobody knows
What waits for the dead... ♪

JASON: This pandemic has been
a challenge for somebody

who's used to being in control.

It's really saved my ass
to be able to sit down

and play the guitar for hours.

I've kind of reverted back
to when I was

an unhip high schooler,
and I just spent all my time

in my room playing guitar
because that's the only thing

that really made me happy.

♪ And I'm glad
I can't go back ♪

♪ To where I came from ♪

♪ I'm glad those days
Are gone, gone for good... ♪

JASON: Thank you.

♪ But if I could take spirits
From my past ♪

♪ And bring them here
You know I would ♪

♪ You know I would ♪

♪ But nobody speaks
To God these days ♪

♪ Nobody speaks
To God these days... ♪

JASON: The chickens have lain
their eggs beneath the coop.

♪ I'd like to think
He's looking down ♪

♪ And laughing at our ways ♪

♪ But nobody speaks
To God these days... ♪

Mommy, I got you a present.

♪ And when I was a child
They tried to fool me... ♪

Thank you.

♪ Said the worldly man
Was doomed ♪

♪ And hell was real... ♪

Some days
I found beautiful dead moths.

♪ Well, I've seen hell
In Reno ♪

♪ And this world's just
One big old Catherine wheel ♪

♪ Spinning still... ♪

AMANDA: He's made a picnic.

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die ♪

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die... ♪

Oh, some garden gloves.

♪ It takes a lot
To change your plans ♪

♪ And a train
To change your mind ♪

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die... ♪

JASON:
Look at that stinky bastard.

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die... ♪

- (AMANDA CHUCKLES)
- JASON: Quarantine, day 194.

♪ Maybe it's time
To let the old ways die ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

MERCY: I smell alcohol.

AMANDA: That's because
we just put some in your ears.

And I can smell with my ears?

- (JASON CHUCKLES)
- You can use your ears

- to help you smell?
- I think your ears...

JASON: (CHUCKLES)
That's my daughter.

Don't put your fingers
in your ears. Don't do that.

I like to smell the alcohol.

JASON: (CHUCKLES)
That's my child, there.

"Well, do you love me
the most with my big,

big eyes that will watch you
grow wise, wise, wise?"

- There's three--
- "It's me, Ollie.

Do you love me the most?"

- Do you?
- There's--

- There's three--
- Do you?
Do you love me the most?

- Do you?
- (CHUCKLES) Stop--

- Hoo. Hoo.
- Stop interrupting me.

- What?
- Stop interrupting me.

- Who?
- You.

- Who-oo?
- You.

- Who-oo?
- You.

- Who-oo?
- You.

- Who-oo?
- You.

JASON: Hey, Mercy, knock, knock?

- Who's there?
- JASON: Interrupting mom.

- Interrupting mom--
- (SHAKILY) Hello!

- (JASON CHUCKLES)
- (BOTH LAUGH)

In quarantine times,
there are breakthrough couples

and breakup couples,
I've decided.

(CHUCKLES) A lot of people
we know are getting divorced.

And I understand that totally.
But I think for me and Amanda,

I think
we're having breakthroughs.

I feel like we're getting
to know each other better,

I think. And, like, today,
everything's great, you know?

Yesterday, everything was great.
We'll see what happens tomorrow.

♪ ("RIVER" BY JASON ISBELL
PLAYING) ♪

♪ The river is my savior
'Cause she used to be a cloud ♪

♪ She's happy just to lay there
When she used to be so proud ♪

♪ And even when she dries up
A thousand years from now ♪

♪ I'll lay myself beside her
And call her name out loud... ♪

JASON: So I see COVID-19
as something that is forcing me

to adapt and to grow.

I'm bound and determined
to make a positive out of this.

And the ultimate positive

is to let it connect me
with other people more.

♪ But now I'm tired
And a little bit confused ♪

♪ Regarding what I meant to do
And what I did... ♪

CHAD: To be back in the room
with everybody else

will make my heart explode.
So I know I'll be in tears.

I-- I feel like
we will all be in tears

'cause you don't feel whole
right now.

JIMBO: I'd be happy
just to play on the back porch

for the birds if it was me

and my whole band
playing together

at the same time.
I'd be thrilled.

♪ The river is my savior
She's running to the sea ♪

♪ And to reach her destination
Is to simply cease to be ♪

♪ And running
'Til you're nothing ♪

♪ Sounds a lot like being free ♪

♪ So I'll lay myself inside her
And I'll let her carry me... ♪

I mean, there's this moment
right before we go on stage

where we're all gathered
in the wing,

Jason gives a thumbs up
to everybody

with a raised eyebrow
to make sure,

you know, "Everybody good?
Everybody good?"

And I miss that.

I can't wait to do that again.

I can't wait
to be in that huddle.

JASON: See y'all tomorrow.

- (LIGHT SWITCH FLICKING)
- ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

There's only one story.

They say three in your
creative writing classes.

But there's only one really,
and that's,

"Will you listen
to what my life is like?

You know? And let's compare."

♪ ("IF WE WERE VAMPIRES"
BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ It's not the long flowing
Dress that you're in ♪

♪ Or the light coming
Off of your skin ♪

♪ The fragile heart
You protected for so long ♪

♪ Or the mercy in your sense
Of right and wrong ♪

♪ It's not your hands
Searching slow in the dark ♪

♪ Or your nails
Leaving love's watermark ♪

♪ It's not the way
You talk me off the roof ♪

♪ Your questions
Like directions to the truth ♪

♪ It's knowing
That this can't go on forever ♪

♪ Likely one of us ♪

♪ Will have
To spend some days alone ♪

♪ Maybe we'll get
Forty years together ♪

♪ But one day I'll be gone
Or one day you'll be gone ♪

♪ If we were vampires
And death was a joke ♪

♪ We'd go out
On the sidewalk and smoke ♪

♪ And laugh at all the lovers
And their plans ♪

♪ I wouldn't feel the need
To hold your hand ♪

♪ Maybe time running out
Is a gift ♪

♪ I'll work hard
'Til the end of my shift ♪

♪ And give you
Every second I can find ♪

♪ And hope it isn't me
Who's left behind ♪

♪ It's knowing
That this can't go on forever ♪

♪ Likely one of us ♪

♪ Will have to spend
Some days alone ♪

♪ Maybe we'll get
Forty years together ♪

♪ But one day I'll be gone
One day you'll be gone ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪