Original subtitles

♪ ("MUSIC BOX" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Jason Isbell is one of those song writers

that makes you feel like you know him and he knows you.

This film is a document

of some of the most personal songs

that Jason Isbell has already written.

And I wanted to discover where the life

and the art connect.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (GUITAR PLAYING) ♪

For Sam's camera to work,

we got to go back to about right here.

I don't like that as much,

so I'm gonna move Sam's camera back a little bit.

(CAMERA STAND SCRAPING)

That good?

AMANDA PEARL SHIRES: I think so.

JASON ISBELL: We are recording.

- ♪ (GUITAR PLAYING) ♪ - ♪ (VIOLIN PLAYING) ♪

I forgot to ask you what key it was in.

- It's in E. - Aha.

- JASON: Let's start the-- - I started doing it in A.

JASON: Start the recordings over.

AMANDA: Okay.

- ♪ (GUITAR PLAYING) ♪ - ♪ (VIOLIN PLAYING) ♪

JASON: Where's--

AMANDA: We did it one more time the last time through.

Ah, shit. Let's start the recording over.

- You ready? - AMANDA: Wait. No.

Now it's saving or something. Okay, now.

JASON: One, ta, ta, two, ta, ta.

Do it again?

- The beginning. - I liked that intro.

- Oh, you didn't like it? - Oh, I'm sorry.

- Okay. - I thought missed it.

I didn't. (CHUCKLES) Okay.

One, two, three, two. Three...

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- DERRY DEBORJA: Good morning. - JASON: Hey, how are you?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- DERRY: Morning, Sadler. - SADLER VADEN: What's up, man?

- JASON: How are you? - Good.

- Good to see you, bud. - JASON: Good to see you.

- What's up, Darrell? - DARREL: Hey, I know you.

JASON: There's really no more intrinsic value

to making a record than there is to writing in your journal

when you're 15 years old, you know?

It's really for the same purpose.

There's something that we have to say,

and in the process of figuring out

how to say that, we learn who we are.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JASON: But I need to move forward

as a person through this work.

For me to do that, I have to come to terms with things

that don't make me look cool

or don't paint me in the best light

or don't, you know, promote an idea

I have of controlling my own image

because cont--

I think, controlling your image is the opposite of creating art.

My songs are things that are under the surface

of my own mind, things that I'm dealing with

and working through.

But the trick for me is to make a rock and roll record

about all these things

'cause you don't really want

people to feel like they're singing along

with some sort of a self-help catalogue.

♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- That sounds good. - Really cool.

JASON: She sent me a message today. Let's see.

I love you so much,

and how much music are you gonna make?

JASON: (OVER CELL PHONE) Hello, Mercy.

We are going to make an album, which is nine or ten songs.

And so, it's like about 45 minutes long.

And then she said-- To all that, she said...

That sounds great.

(CHUCKLES) She's so funny, man.

♪ ("RUNNING WITH OUR EYES CLOSED" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Took forever To get you to trust me ♪

♪ Like I was feeding A bird from my hand ♪

♪ And if this isn't love Then it must be ♪

♪ Another answer I don't understand ♪

♪ To a prayer that was please And not thank you ♪

♪ To a question I wrote in the sand ♪

♪ To a wish that I made On a satellite ♪

♪ From a witness in tears On the stand ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Well, you are who you are When you're angry ♪

♪ When you're scared Or you're sad or you're bored ♪

♪ When a stranger Has slipped you a room key ♪

♪ In a hotel You couldn't afford ♪

♪ We can never go back And be strangers ♪

♪ All our secrets Are mixed and distilled ♪

♪ But you've taught me To temper my anger ♪

♪ And you've learned It's all right to be still ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

It's fucking unbelievable.

- Unbelievable. - Thank you.

Play me that change

from just the last chord to the bridge.

♪ We're running With our eyes closed ♪

One, two.

Two, da-da.

CHAD GAMBLE: Prior to Jason, any recording I've done,

there would always be weeks of rehearsal.

This was kind of a new territory for me

where he brings in the song the day of.

SADLER: You don't know the song, you write your number chart out.

Then you're sort of off to the races

and coming up with parts and trying to lay it down.

♪ Oh, running With our eyes closed ♪

AMANDA: It's ridiculously hard

and the stupidest part of recording.

Can't practice it 'cause Dave doesn't make a demo.

But then if I mess up,

somebody's gonna want to try to keep that probably.

I don't-- It's just really scary.

This might be a weird suggestion.

I like your weird suggestions.

What if you play it acoustic going down,

then we take time with the electric sound?

- That's good with me. - 'Cause it's such a cool part,

I don't want to dig-- Just run past it.

- You know what I mean? - Yeah. The riff is a hook.

- It's a hook and a half. - JASON: Yeah.

JASON: Amanda has heard the songs,

but that's different, you know?

That's a different kind of collaboration.

Like, I still don't really think of it as she's in the band.

And I need her to do different things,

and I think she needs to have a different role.

Did you write "to"?

A stranger slips you a room key "to" a hotel room

you can't afford.

- But I think that you are-- - But there's no slipping one

- with inside the room key... - Yeah, there is.

If you're at the hotel bar

and the stranger is trying to pick you up,

they would slip you a key in the hotel.

No, but you're...

I've already went, like, through this in my brain

- about a dozen times. - Well, this will just be

permanently disagreed with because it sounds like

when you're on, like, you're reading

that you're in the room, slipping the key.

- This has already happened. - How about--

- How about "for"? - Past.

- For is fine. - Or we just leave

the article off and say...

♪ When a stranger Has slipped you a room key ♪

♪ A hotel room You couldn't afford ♪

Or-- See, I've already said "room" though. That was my problem.

I didn't want to use "room" again that quickly.

Do whatever you want.

- JASON: No, no. - That's not gonna be a big deal.

- (CHUCKLES) - JASON: I'm not making--

I'm really, like, just discussing it.

DAVE COBB: Why don't you just make up a word?

- (CHUCKLES) - AMANDA: You're talking about it

in the past, so it's like "in" is not helpful.

I feel like "in" and "to" are in the same tense.

When a stranger has slipped you a room key.

- Yeah, so you're in the-- - And moving tenses within--

You're in the present participle.

- AMANDA: Who is? - JASON: 'Cause the person--

The people who are existing here

are in the present participle tense,

which means that they're existing in the now...

- No, but the-- - ...but discussing something

that's happened in the past.

No, b-- Okay. But see, then you're mixing up

all this in this middle.

Just sing whatever you want and then think about it later.

No, I want to get it right. That's--

Then put "to."

I feel like if I put "to,"

it's gonna read like you're getting key

to the entire hotel.

- Don't you think? - To... (SIGHS, CHUCKLES)

I see what you mean.

TRACI THOMAS: You know, Amanda has a master's degree

in creative writing.

She gets in there with her pen and gives him honest feedback.

She's the only one that hears anything

before they go into the studio.

I mean you could also say...

♪ And a stranger Has slipped you a room key ♪

♪ For a room... ♪

♪ To a room You could never afford ♪

- See? I like that. - That's better.

To a room, yeah. To a room.

(AMANDA LAUGHS)

Once the songs get past her, nobody scares me.

Nobody. I don't give a shit. I know it's right.

AMANDA: Part of the reason why he trusts me

is because I can't suffer a bad song,

or, like, a clich d lyric unless it's turned a little bit.

JASON: It works. It's hard. It's a hard thing to do.

You have to let go of your ego.

If I was making people dance, I wouldn't sit there

and waste my time on prepositions. (CHUCKLES)

But they are not out there dancing.

I got to get those prepositions right.

DAVE: Yeah, beautiful.

- Good? - DAVE: Love it.

- Okay. - JIMBO HART: Cool.

AMANDA: It's got to be terrible to sit in that chair.

- What? Over there? - I mean, I know it is.

No, your chair.

- Over here? - To be putting a record out,

- like, singing your songs... - Man.

...for the first time in front of a group of people.

- It is-- - Terrible.

- No. - It is.

It's the most beautiful thing I've ever done in my life

outside of you and our daughter.

(SIGHS)

JIMBO: Our method of recording

relies on so much of your gut. Wherever it takes you,

that's where it goes.

♪ Took forever to get you To trust me... ♪

JIMBO: It's a healthy way to do it

because if you don't get it in the first few times,

you kind of lose the spirit of it anyway.

It's a very complex chemistry

that just comes from playing together

for such a long time.

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

There's definitely a spontaneity element

to being in a studio

that I think is really important.

Something that I have always liked is hearing

a really good musician play a song

before they actually know it.

And once you learn the song,

your mind is not focused on creating.

Your mind is focused on recreating.

You know, you can only create something once,

and if the tape's not rolling,

then you're just shit out of luck.

- JASON: I like the one before it better. - One before it?

- Can we do one more? - JASON: Yeah.

DAVE: Just don't think. Don't even tune.

Okay. Don't think. Don't tune.

AMANDA: You're only as good as the last work you did,

so there's this doubting of self.

You're just like, "This is probably a bunch of shit.

I don't know." So, you're fighting

with all these voices inside your head.

I don't know what you're doing, but that's what I do.

♪ (VIOLIN PLAYING, CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ ("RUNNING WITH OUR EYES CLOSED" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

♪ Running with our eyes closed ♪

JASON: The writing of the songs, that's the hardest part.

My work is done when I walk into the studio.

So I don't feel that kind of pressure.

Oh, he's just lying to y'all.

He is. He is. I'm gonna drag him up here

and tell him to answer the question honestly.

It's got to be a big lie, right? It's got to drive him crazy.

You just continue to build pressure for yourself

to outdo your last record.

From this point forward till when the record comes out,

he's gonna be a ball of anxiousness.

DAVE: That should be where it ends right there.

- Yeah. That's the end. - DAVE: Yeah.

And I'm still--

This guitar still sounds woofy as hell to me.

I'm excited. I'm excited to be here,

you know? It's like, uh--

It's like the first day of little league. (LAUGHS)

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

AMANDA: Jason and I have known each other

for 18 years. We were friends at first.

But, like, you kind of know, you know?

JASON: I met Amanda when I was recording

with the Drive-By Truckers.

I went into town to go get drunk,

and Amanda was playing with Thrift Store Cowboys.

There was, you know, hardly anybody at the show.

He got a folding chair and went and sat

in the middle of the floor. There was, like, I don't know,

probably like 12 people there.

I thought that was pretty ballsy.

I said, "Aren't you supposed to be famous?"

JASON: As a joke, she got me to sign a polaroid

of the two of us, and it's--

We have it in the bathroom in the house now.

We were just friends for years.

But I probably always been in love with her.

Um. I definitely had.

How many minutes do we have left?

JASON: We have 16.

AMANDA: During that time, I never thought really

that I'd be enough for him just because,

well, he liked to hang out with women, and he liked to,

you know, do S-E-X.

(CHUCKLES)

AMANDA: Funny aside, I don't know

if this is important for the documentary or not,

but I did make him take an STD test

before I hooked up with him.

And then for, like, the first year,

he had it hanging on the refrigerator, but...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

We're ready when you're all ready.

Ready? Come on. Apparently, we're ready to rock.

Have yourself a good time out there.

Thanks for joining me. It's gonna be fun.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

♪ ("TRAVELING ALONE" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Mountain's rough This time of year ♪

♪ Close the highway down ♪

♪ They don't warn the town ♪

♪ I've been fighting Second gear ♪

♪ For 15 miles or so ♪

♪ Trying to beat The angry snow ♪

♪ I know every town Worth passing through ♪

♪ But what good does knowing do With no one to show it to ♪

♪ And I've grown Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ I've grown tired Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Won't you ride with me ♪

♪ I've grown tired Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ I've grown tired Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Won't you ride with me ♪

♪ Won't you ride ♪

JASON: I'm so grateful that this is the person

that I have to share this with.

I feel included, and I feel tethered

to the world by her.

She makes me feel like I'm not an outcast.

There was always some part of me

that felt like I don't belong here.

And when she treats me like I belong...

I feel like I belong everywhere, you know?

♪ I've grown tired Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Tired of traveling alone ♪

♪ I've grown tired Of traveling alone ♪

♪ Won't you ride with me ♪

♪ Won't you ride ♪

♪ Won't you ride ♪

- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) - Thank you.

That's Amanda Shires on the fiddle.

It's a violin.

I think that means it's for sale.

(CHUCKLES)

Right after we started hanging out with each other,

I said, "Now, what is the difference

between a violin and a fiddle?" And she said,

"Well, it's a fiddle when you're buying it."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JASON: It's a violin when you're selling it.

If she's calling it a violin,

it's not because we're in a fancy orchestral room,

it's because she's looking to upgrade.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

As long as you always call me a fiddle.

- (CHUCKLES) - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JASON: I get moved either to laughter or to tears

by very small things that most people

would not notice, and if you point it out to them,

they would think you were strange.

And she has looked at me in a lot of fucking ways,

but never once has she looked at me

like I'm strange.

Never once.

And everybody else has.

At least once. (CHUCKLES)

Well, you're not strange anyway.

Thank you.

♪ ("CHILDREN OF CHILDREN" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

JASON: I grew up in Alabama.

It was very rural and poor White, everybody.

When we got pregnant with Jason, we were kids, you know?

I was 18 or so, but Angelia was 16.

When you're 16 years old, you think you love him,

and I did. I mean, you know,

as much as you could at that time.

When I found out I was pregnant,

I said, "Oh, I'm gonna marry him,

and we're gonna live happily ever after."

♪ I was riding On my mother's hip ♪

♪ She was shorter Than the corn ♪

♪ And all the years I took from her ♪

♪ Just by being born ♪

ANGELIA BARNETT: Because we were so young,

he didn't realize he was a child.

JASON: I had no barometer for reaction.

I felt a response to all of my problems

as though they were as big

and as complicated as the adult problems

'cause I didn't have any other eight-year-olds around.

Also, there was a pretty big religious undertone

to everything down there.

You know, my grandfather was a preacher,

so as a young child, I was taught

that what this book says is exactly true.

The thoughts I was having at seven and eight were guilt,

guilt, guilt, shame, shame, shame.

"I'm gonna go to hell." So that kept me up at night.

Plus, I was a chubby kid,

and definitely not like everybody else.

You know, I read books, and I didn't play football.

Just that was enough to get pickles thrown at you

in the lunchroom, you know?

I was so stressed out and anxious,

and the I way I took my mind out of all that

or stopped the wheels from spinning

was by playing the guitar,

sitting in my room, playing the guitar.

MIKE ISBELL: He had Strats.

That’s what he liked back then when he was young.

And, man, I'd hear him back there

tearing that thing up.

JASON: My parents did everything they could

to make my childhood a positive experience,

but they couldn't do everything that they needed to do.

You know, Dad was always stressed about money.

Mom was not great with money.

And both had a pretty short fuse.

They would start arguing,

and it was a very quick escalation with them.

Now, the house was small, and the walls were thin,

and the amp was loud.

And so I couldn't hear 'em.

If I turned it up loud and played rock and roll guitar,

I couldn't hear 'em yelling at each other.

♪ (ELECTRICAL GUITAR PLAYING) ♪

MIKE: He played good, you know?

And sometimes we were arguing, we'd stop and listen to him.

This is so hard for me. He was sitting at the table,

and he said, "Mom, do you love Dad?"

And I said, "Of course I love Daddy.

Why? Why would you ask me that?"

And he said, "Well, I love him 'cause he's my daddy,

but I wouldn't love him if he was my husband."

That's the burden that he had,

and that's the clarity that he had.

MIKE: He had a big heart and was a good kid.

It's a tough one when they have that.

You know, it's easier to get broke.

(VOCALIZES)

JASON: There was no culture

of any kind of psychological help

for children or adults, whatsoever.

You were either fine or you were crazy,

and if you were crazy, you went to the 400 Unit.

And if you were fine,

you shut up, and you went to work.

If not for playing the guitar, and singing, writing songs,

then I would've been lost in that middle ground

between fine and crazy.

If that hadn't been there, I don't, you know,

I really don't know if I would've been able

to deal with the world at all. I might've just checked out.

(CLEARS THROAT, HUMS)

JASON: Hearing a song that really moves you

is like if you accidentally stumble

on somebody's diary and it was exactly like yours.

You would say, "Oh, my God, there's one person

who had the same feelings that I did," you know?

And all of us are kind of walking around, thinking,

"Man, am I weird?

Am I the only one who feels this way?"

And then when somebody reaches in and says,

"No, no, I'm with you,"

that's it. That's all it is, you know?

Let's do one more from the tippy.

(CLEARS THROAT) It's gonna be hard.

DAVE: You can do it.

Okay.

(SINGS) ♪ And just stand Stand there ♪

♪ ("DREAMSICLE" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ I guess We're leaving town again ♪

♪ We're moving out And moving in ♪

♪ Got to break the news To all my friends ♪

♪ But they won't care ♪

♪ They'll just find Another face ♪

♪ To fall behind To take my place ♪

♪ And run way out Past second base ♪

♪ And just stand there ♪

One more like that. That's cool.

- JASON: Okay. - ♪ To fall behind... ♪

ANGELIA: Every single word of "Dreamsicle"

just hit me with the broken glass,

the poison ivy. Just words that nobody else understands,

you know?

Things that I didn't realize that he actually remembered.

That's the thing about him, you know, he don't forget much.

His songs are all about, you know, about real things.

♪ Poison oak and poison ivy ♪

♪ Dirty jokes That blew right by me ♪

♪ Momma curling up beside me Crying to herself ♪

♪ Why can't Daddy Just come home ♪

♪ Forget whatever he did wrong ♪

♪ He's in a hotel all alone And we need help ♪

DAVE: Let's punch that line.

Twenty-one?

JASON: Is that the right approach?

AMANDA: Yeah, and it sounds

like the sentiment, so that's great.

JASON: Right, right. You're not gonna be like,

"I'm so proud of my parents' divorce!"

AMANDA: (CHUCKLES) Yeah, exactly.

JASON: You know, I still remember

my parents fighting.

And I remember how that felt, and I remember, you know,

the things that caused me to be sad

or to be stressed or to be anxious.

I remember those things.

ANGELIA: You know, one time, we were in an argument,

and it was bad.

And Jason threw the baseball through the window.

The baseball through the window was to get them

to shut the hell up for three seconds.

♪ Broken glass and broken vows ♪

♪ I'll be 18 Four years from now ♪

♪ With different friends In a different town ♪

♪ I'll finally be free ♪

JASON: But I definitely felt like I was in the middle

of their trouble for years. Because I was put in the middle.

My anger towards one parent was driven by the other parent.

And I knew that they weren't supposed

to be doing that to me. (CHUCKLES)

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MIKE: People say, "I have no regrets,"

but I can pull some up.

Took me a long time to grow up.

The way I found out that they were getting a divorce

was my mom picked me up from baseball camp.

And she said, "We're leaving."

And she told me that we would come back,

but we were doing that so Dad would realize how he was.

And so for a long time, I thought that was possible.

And it's not. (CHUCKLES) Turns out.

♪ A dreamsicle On a summer night ♪

♪ In a folding lawn chair ♪

JASON: She took me to a hotel that night.

♪ Daddy's howling at the moon Better get home soon ♪

JASON: We went to the mall,

and she bought me Don Mattingly's rookie card.

I was a fan of Don Mattingly.

♪ Heat lightning In the evening sky ♪

♪ And my momma's red hair ♪

JASON: I was touched by the gesture.

I knew what she was doing, you know?

And I felt for her because I knew

she was trying to change the subject, you know?

♪ Hearts breaking Through the springtime ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

That's it.

We done, baby. Come on in.

All right. Back it up.

Make four. Just mark four as being master take.

- GENA JOHNSON: Okay. - DAVE: Awesome. Awesome.

JASON: 'Cause Dave still thinks the song's about ice cream.

- (BOTH CHUCKLE) - If it is about ice cream,

this is my favorite song on the record.

(CHUCKLES)

♪ Heat lightning In the evening sky ♪

♪ And my momma's red hair ♪

♪ Hearts breaking Through the springtime ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

♪ Breaking into June ♪

(CRICKET CHIRPING)

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ Amanda, light of my life ♪

AMANDA: You got a crazy hair sticking

out the side right there.

So cute. Here, I'll smooth it out for you

so it looks like shit. (CHUCKLES)

- ♪ Amanda, light of my life ♪ - AMANDA: (CHUCKLING) It's all like...

♪ Fate should've made you A gentleman's wife ♪

It's called "Be Afraid."

AMANDA: But what key are you going to do it in?

G.

AMANDA: All right.

♪ We've been testing you And you failed ♪

- That thing's so loud. - AMANDA: What is?

- The fiddle is right on me. - AMANDA: Oh.

- Wow. - So, do I need to move?

- AMANDA: No, I will back up. - Okay. Okay.

What?

Just the same amount as normal. (CHUCKLES)

♪ ("BE AFRAID" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ We've been testing you And you failed ♪

♪ To see how long ♪

♪ That you can sit With the truth ♪

♪ But you bail ♪

♪ And I don't think You'd even recognize ♪

♪ The myth of control ♪

♪ And I don't think You even see it in yourself ♪

♪ Every one of us Is playing dice ♪

♪ That we didn't roll ♪

♪ And the loser is the last To ask for help ♪

♪ Be afraid, be very afraid ♪

♪ But do it anyway ♪

Songwriting has gotten harder for me

as time has gone on

just because I won't accept things

that I used to accept.

I won't be satisfied unless this album

is an accurate representation of where I am as a person,

which means that I'm more focused

than I used to be in the studio.

This is the cycle of anxiousness.

Like, any kind of thing that's going on his brain

just presents as grumpiness, but really, it's something more.

JASON: Then whatever,

- however we end it. - DAVE: Cool.

I would love if you change your playing

to very jangly

instead of that blocky thing, you know.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It would be way cooler.

Yes, and that's a good start, just right there. Like that.

Should I play a twelve-string electric?

- Might be cooler than-- Yes... - No.

- No? Amanda hates those. - I hate that.

- Can we-- - 'Cause they don't have any in Texas.

I know how he gets when he makes records,

whether or not he sees it at the time or not.

I'm not super comfortable being the whipping girl,

so I just chill.

I don't believe that you're the whipping girl,

but most people don't go to work with their wife.

Most people come home, and it's like,

"Oh, my God, I'm so glad to see you.

I can't wait to tell you about my day."

But she knows about my day. What are we gonna talk about?

You know, "Oh, my God, I'm so glad to see you.

- I saw you 45 seconds ago." - (CHUCKLES)

"And you fucked up that harmony part.

And that was cool, remember that?

- Okay, good night." - Rub it in.

"What do you want to watch tonight? All right."

Did you want to be in the control room or out here?

- I'll just be up here. - GENA: Okay.

Since the sound of my fiddle was so much louder than normal.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

AMANDA: My fiddle was so much louder than normal.

It's just like, dink-dink in my brain.

- Dink? - Yeah, dink-dink!

AMANDA: (CHUCKLES) That's what I sound like?

- Dink-dink. - You sound like a dink.

Dink.

Remember that grumpiness I was talking about?

- That's what just happened. - Let's do the Magnatone.

Fucking loud fiddle.

No, it's not. It's always this loud.

This is...

Isn't it? Yeah. That's what I thought.

The 12-string guitar, geez.

If I was producing this record,

I'd take all the 12-string guitars

and give them away.

JIMBO: Are we gonna play this song?

AMANDA: That's what I'm talking about.

We're standing here with our...

- Is there a song? - ...dicks in the dirt.

JASON: I waited two hours for somebody else's burrito.

Y'all going to let me tune this guitar.

(JIMBO CHUCKLES)

- DAVE: Fuck those people. - JASON: I-- Yeah, I know.

I'm the one paying for this shit.

Sometimes he needs a lot of space.

- You're goddamn right. - He's a big fucking man.

You know, I'm a man from Alabama, for Christ sakes.

- If the floor's shaking... - That's what we do.

...Momma's gonna get some space.

Anyway, I don't have-- I can't go on.

Yeah, you got something to do, or you just want to get out?

AMANDA: Oh, I got things that I could do.

JASON: Okay, that's fine.

I mean, 'cause I was gonna do either the...

(SINGS) ♪ Hard part is letting you go ♪

AMANDA: Oh, yeah, that's...

- That one. - AMANDA: Yeah.

Probably do that one later, but, you know,

it'd be cool if you were here for it.

If you don't want to be, you don't have to be.

AMANDA: Let's do this.

This is-- Let's do this right now.

I don't think I'll be able to think about this right now

'til we've discussed.

- AMANDA: I'll send you a text. - Okay. Okay.

Trying to navigate being in a relationship

where we are family and we are married

and we have a child together, and also working in the studio,

you know, is a challenge.

And I don't mean this to be an excuse for anything.

You know, it's my own damn fault.

But when I have a hard day, I can't just go home

and have a drink.

And used to, that's what I would do.

So there's no escape... for me.

There's the thing, though.

There's the puzzle you're working out,

that you need to figure out, I think. "There's no escape."

There is an escape.

You just have to figure out what it is, and it's music.

- We know that. - Right.

But I'm not gonna go home from the studio and sit

and play guitar all night.

AMANDA: Well, no, I know. But I'm just saying,

then you should find another one.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Um. And what I would prefer that to be, in a perfect world,

is spending time with my daughter,

but I just don't have time right now.

Well, it's not that you don't have time.

It's the schedules are different.

Um. And that wears on me.

If I don't get much time with her, it wears on me.

Pretty quickly. Um...

And that's that.

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- JASON: Hello, Dave. - DAVE: Hey, dude.

- JASON: How you doing, buddy? - DAVE: Fantastic, how about you?

JASON: I had a rough night, but I'm good.

DAVE: What happened?

JASON: Just, you know, we'll talk about it later.

DAVE: Okay.

JASON: But I'm happy to be here.

Everything is not good, but I am in the studio,

so this feels comfortable.

DAVE: Yeah, why do you think I work in the studio every day?

- JASON: Yeah, no shit, man. - (DAVE CHUCKLING)

JASON: So I didn't really sleep,

- but, man, I'm good. - Yeah.

(SNIFFLES)

- Y'all want to do a song? - DERRY: Yeah.

- All right. - DAVE: Here we go.

(SINGS) ♪ She waits for the sunshine ♪

Okay, wait. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

One, two, three, four.

♪ Ain't it something How the night can shine ♪

Let's do it again. One, two, three, four.

♪ Ain't it something How the night ♪

Walk into it. One, two, ready go.

Ah. I counted that like a fucking idiot.

- (ALL LAUGHING) - Wow.

JASON: While we were recording Reunions,

I was telling myself,

"This is good. This is fine. This is easy.

You have this under control." And that was not true.

What was true was, I was really pressured

and very stressed and sort of having

a come-apart in there.

Like, "Ugh, is this gonna be any good or not?"

(JASON HUMS)

Amanda could definitely see something

that even I couldn't see at that point.

That's, I think, the thing that frustrates her the most

is when I refuse to acknowledge something

that she can see.

I just couldn't be around it anymore

'cause it was so...

fake. It was so fake.

JASON: ♪ Somebody told her She was beautiful ♪

♪ Every time she turned around ♪

♪ But when she opened up Her mouth to speak ♪

♪ It clearly didn't make A sound ♪

AMANDA: Everything was so magnified and intense,

and I just was like,

if you could just say that all this bullshit

is because you're nervous or under pressure or whatever

that'd go a lot further

than pretending it all away, you know?

JASON: ♪ She waits For the sun to rise ♪

♪ Behind his midnight eyes ♪

♪ And the windstorm Had passed ♪

♪ And ain't it something How the night can shine ♪

♪ Through a bottle of wine against a bedroom wall ♪

♪ And ain't it something When her eyes light up ♪

♪ And it's exactly enough And you can let yourself fall ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

- DAVE: We done. - Good, thank God.

DAVE: So, you're coming later tomorrow?

Yep. I just have to sleep 'cause I didn't last night...

- DAVE: Yeah. - ...so I won't be any later than 2:00, though.

Okay, you should go home

and just put your iPhone outside tonight

- for a little while. - (JASON CHUCKLES)

And bring the noise in

- from your home. - JASON: Oh, record?

- DAVE: Yeah. - Yeah, that would be nice,

but I'm not going to my home tonight.

- DAVE: Oh, okay. - Anything'll sound too good

in the hall at the Omni.

DAVE: Oh, is that where you're staying tonight?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

- DAVE: Well... - Maybe tomorrow, Dave.

DAVE: Well, whenever you do.

All right, everybody, I'll see you guys tomorrow.

PATTERSON HOOD: Jason is extremely hard on himself,

and it can be painful for everyone around him.

I knew the first moment I ever met him,

he was destined for greatness.

But Jason was young when he joined our band.

JASON: I had always planned on being in a band.

I'd always had that as my driving force, you know?

The Drive-By Truckers had played in Nashville

at one of the first Americana Music Conferences,

and the next day,

the guitar player didn't show up,

and Jason just sat in.

You know, I was like, "Man, you mind

if I play with you guys since you're one short?"

PATTERSON: He was like a way-next-level guitar player.

Jason's playing along

like he had been rehearsing it for years.

So at the end of the night,

I was like, "Hey, man, get in the van.

Let's go play some rock and roll." (CHUCKLES)

I was, "Yes, I'm there. I'll do it."

You know, I wanted to get out,

get on the road, and tour. And I wanted to write songs.

I wanted people to hear 'em. I was so excited. So excited.

PATTERSON: The next day, his mom dropped him off

to get in our van to leave for Oklahoma.

ANGELIA: And Jason's like, "Mom, whatever you do,

don't say,

'Take care of my boy, or something like that.'"

She's sizing me up. It's like,

"You're not gonna let my boy die out there, are you?"

They open the back of the van, and there lays Earl Hicks,

passed out drunk. Patterson comes around.

And he puts his arm around Jason,

and he says, "Don't worry, Mom.

We're gonna take real good care of your boy."

It was like that scene from Almost Famous,you know?

"Don't do drugs!" (CHUCKLES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Y'all know Jason, don't you?

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

JASON: Coming into that was mind-boggling for me

because it really was exchanging everything I knew

for something completely different.

There was a lot of humor, and there was a lot of drinking

and a lot of things that I had never seen before.

PATTERSON: The first tour with Jason was beyond magical.

He wrote "Decoration Day" like the fourth day

he was in the band. I'm like, "Holy shit,

where's this kid been all my life," you know?

It's like, "Oh, elementary school." (CHUCKLES)

("DECORATION DAY" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING)

♪ It's Decoration Day ♪

♪ Had a mind to roll A stone on his grave ♪

♪ But what would he say? ♪

♪ He'd say, "Keeping me down Ain't gonna keep you away" ♪

♪ It's Decoration Day ♪

♪ And I knew The Hill boys put him away ♪

♪ But my daddy wasn't afraid ♪

♪ He said, "We'd fight ♪

♪ Until the last Lawson's Last living day" ♪

JASON: It was everything I ever wanted.

You know, the things that I'd sit in my room

and rehearsed while my parents were getting a divorce.

It was the fantasy that I went to to disconnect

from the house that I was in.

It was everything. It was everything.

No matter what went wrong in my life,

I thought, "But I can do this."

PATTERSON: With Jason joining the band,

we basically jumped from one size room

over the next size room to the next size room

in a space of about three months.

We had this chemistry that made us better together

than any of us were separate.

And so it was like this really powerful thing.

♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

TRACI THOMAS: The Drive-By Truckers

were pretty established and, you know, kind of

"professional drinkers,"

you know, by the time he joined the band.

And it was just a rolling party.

PATTERSON: I mean, we drank a lot, you know?

We rocked hard. We drank hard. We drove hard. We lived hard.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

It wouldn't be right for me to say all of the sudden,

I started drinking and doing drugs

when I joined the band.

It's just that the situations were heavier

than what I'd been used to.

♪ ("DANKO / MANUEL" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ I ain't living like I should ♪

♪ A little rest Might do me good ♪

ANGELIA: I think drinking gave him confidence.

Not, "I'm gonna be a badass and fight you,

but I can express myself whereas I am that Southern man

who doesn't express himself if I'm not drinking."

♪ And I ain't living Like I should ♪

JASON: I was adjusting to the world outside

- of my Alabama upbringing... - (CROWD CHEERING)

...and dealing with stuff from my childhood

that I never dealt with.

I mean, that's probably the biggest part of it,

was the fact that... (INHALES DEEPLY) ...you know,

I never had any kind of therapy and didn't know

that my problems were problems that could be solved.

PATTERSON: We can look back now

and see a lot of dangerous patterns emerging

with his drinking.

But we were a little oblivious to that,

I'm ashamed to say, at the time.

We would be on stage performing and handing each other

the bottle of whiskey and take a swig

out of the bottle, you know?

Then after the show, you'd go out to a bar,

I mean, already lit,

and go out to have six or seven more.

It just snowballed.

PATTERSON: There was one night in Memphis

that was the first ever hint of there being this dark side,

you know, 'cause he was so-- he was so Jason.

He was kind of a ray of light.

("GODDAMN LONELY LOVE" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING)

JASON: I was highly inebriated. I drank, you know,

an entire handle of Jack Daniel's.

I took some cocaine and some valium

or something like that.

And I overdosed and, you know, woke up all bloody.

And Shonna, the bass player in the Drive-By Truckers,

who I was dating at the time, was slapping me

and crying and thought that I was dead.

He was pretty cut up and looked like

he had been in a fight.

He might've been cutting himself a little bit. I don't know.

It-- Something got really fucked up that night.

Obviously, some things had gone

very wrong with Jason.

♪ So I'll take two Of what you're having ♪

♪ And I'll take all Of what you got ♪

♪ To kill this goddamn lonely ♪

♪ Goddamn lonely love ♪

JASON: I felt like what I was gonna do

was straighten my life out,

and I felt like I owed it to Shonna

because she had taken care of me.

We went, I think, the next day to the courthouse

and got married.

But I was not prepared for a marriage or any kind

of a real relationship at that point.

♪ All I got Is this goddamn lonely ♪

♪ Goddamn lonely love ♪

I just wasn't being an actual grown-up.

I had built the illusion of grown-upness,

but I was not living as an adult.

TRACI: The Drive-By Truckers were playing

at Webster Hall one night.

And I remember getting to the venue,

and Jason just announces to me, "I'm getting divorced."

When the relationship between Jason and Shonna

started going bad...

you know, that affected all of us for sure.

By that time, we're in a bus,

but a bus becomes a really small place quick

when there's 11 people living in it.

That period was bad. That was a bad time in my life.

(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

PATTERSON: He was, in a lot of ways,

spiraling out of control.

And I saw the potential for that to get a lot worse.

There was a point where I was definitely worried about,

you know, him dying.

The situation with Jason had gotten so bad

that it was just-- it was making us

not enjoy our job.

It was threatening the life of the band.

TRACI: Honestly, I think his ego also started growing

and getting out of control.

And there's only so much people can take.

Patterson and Cooley just put a stop to it.

It was shocking to me when I was fired.

But in hindsight, it should not have been shocking to me.

(CHUCKLES) Now, I look back at it,

and, yeah, I would've fired that guy too. What an asshole.

PATTERSON: Breaking up with Jason damn near killed me

in a lot of ways. I mean,

I was beyond heartbroken to see it ending like that.

I was terrified about what it was gonna do to the band

because he was a vital important part

of what we were doing.

- That's a big thing to lose. - JASON: I mean, I didn't want

my parents to get a divorce either.

But, you know now I'm glad they did

'cause in hindsight, they were pretty...

(CHUCKLES) ...you know, pretty miserable.

PATTERSON: Definitely felt some guilt

when things started going wrong with him.

Maybe we should've handled it differently.

Maybe we should've been more aware.

Maybe we should've, you know, maybe I should've.

Maybe I should've been more aware.

I was the one who put him in that van that night.

I'm the one who told his momma he was gonna be okay.

You know, it's very sad. It was very sad.

I went to a bar to go get very, very drunk

and ordered a double and then another one

and another one and another one. For five more years. (CHUCKLES)

♪ ("ONLY CHILDREN" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ That's what your momma said ♪

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ Heaven's waste... ♪

Why that doesn't feel right to me.

For the bridge, so, uh, C.

♪ Heaven's waste... ♪

Let's try C...

♪ Heaven's wasted On the dead ♪

- AMANDA: How've you been doing? - ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

MAN: Hey, where have you been lately?

Oh, just doing all kinds of stuff.

- MAN: I like your glasses. - Thank you.

- You know, got to keep it vibey. - (MAN CHUCKLES)

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ That's what your momma said ♪

♪ And the hearse idling In the parking lot ♪

So we'll take it from right after the chorus

so everybody knows where they're at. Okay?

- JASON: Okay. - Back up.

JASON: On the bridge, should I play a chord, like...

- No, no. Keep picking, yeah. - JASON: Just keep going? Okay.

♪ ("ONLY CHILDREN" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Heaven's wasted on the dead ♪

♪ That's what your momma said ♪

♪ And the hearse was idling In the parking lot ♪

♪ She said you thought The world of me ♪

♪ And you were glad to see ♪

♪ They finally let me be An astronaut ♪

♪ Are you still taking notes? You have anyone to talk to? ♪

♪ Castle walls That you can walk through? ♪

♪ And do the dead believe In ghosts? ♪

♪ Or are you lost In some old building ♪

♪ With over-encouraged Only children? ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

DAVE: Amazing. Do you wanna go into overdubs,

or do you want to go into another song?

JASON: Oh, I need about 20 minutes to myself.

So I'm gonna take that, and then I'll come in and do...

All right.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

I mean, now's not a really great time for me,

- but... Okay. - JASON: Okay, no problem.

My wife and I got in a spot that was probably pretty close

to just calling the whole thing off.

Uh, yeah, it was definitely close to that.

She was offended by my behavior, and I was offended by hers.

We just kept our distance for a week or more.

That's part of what made it so difficult for me,

was the fact that we didn't know

what to say to each other, you know?

We didn't know how to talk or communicate

at that point in time.

AMANDA: Yeah, but th-- He was being an asshat.

He wouldn't talk to me on the phone.

He wouldn't respond to my text messages.

I sent an email full of my thoughts,

and he didn't respond for, like, fucking three days.

JASON: I just-- I have to be able to work

no matter what stupid shit is going on.

DAVE: Really, you can? I can't.

JASON: Well, I don't have a choice, Dave.

- It's either that or fail. - DAVE: Yeah.

Um, I think now we can switch into overdub.

JASON: Yeah, I think so, too.

DAVE: All right, here we go from the top.

♪ ("ST. PETER'S AUTOGRAPH" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

AMANDA: "Dear Mr. Husband,

I know you're under a lot of stress and pressure,

whether you think it or not. I can see it in your face.

I know that you aren't sleeping,

and focusing so hard is probably wearing you out.

I'm sorry all this happened during your record-making.

The other night, I was truly asking questions

and trying to figure out my role in the studio

because it felt a lot like I was unnecessary.

You made comments to me that embarrassed me.

Then you couldn't answer the question about

if I should be there or not because you wanted me

to decide for myself.

Or as you said, 'I don't know if I need you there.'

You were holding on so tight to your position

that you couldn't see that you were hurting my feelings.

I had, and still have, so many tears.

I was considering marriage counseling with you

this last week because I thought it might help.

Then this morning, I pictured us going, and I was happy.

Who gets excited about marriage counseling?

Then I cried like a dingbat because this is

what it has come to for me, for us.

Dates to marriage counseling.

You know that I am open to most all things,

and I'm quick to accept my share

or more of my share of the blame." Whoo.

"You said, 'I'm not broken anymore.'

I know that. I appreciate how strong you are

and the ways that you have changed.

I don't need you to be broken or dented or anything.

I just love you. See you at the stooge."

(CHUCKLES)

♪ ("ST. PETER'S AUTOGRAPH" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ What do I do To make you smile? ♪

♪ You been hurting for a while ♪

♪ What can I do To make you laugh? ♪

♪ Get Saint Peter's autograph ♪

♪ What's that distance In your eye? ♪

♪ Has your faith Been compromised? ♪

♪ What can I do To help you sleep? ♪

♪ I'll work hard And work for cheap ♪

♪ Sometimes it's nothing But the way you're wired ♪

♪ And that's not your fault ♪

♪ We're all struggling With the world on fire ♪

♪ And the fear we're taught ♪

♪ Now you've lost Another friend ♪

♪ Who couldn't stay To see the end ♪

♪ He had somewhere else to be ♪

♪ Cut him down And burn the tree ♪

♪ There's no shelter From the rain ♪

♪ And I can't comprehend Your pain ♪

♪ But I got arms And I got ears ♪

♪ And I will always be Right here ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

Amanda and I have very different personalities

but identical values.

I think at the root of things, we both care very,

very much for each other and very much

for each other's work.

I don't think she's done with me,

and I'm not done with her.

So, sometimes it's like, "Well, we can't figure out

exactly how to get the bridge built,

but I'm just gonna wave at you from this side."

Then you have to keep your own identity

and your own boundaries intact, I think. So, I think sometimes,

like, space and time is a good thing

'cause we, like, live together, we work together,

- we record together. - Yeah, that's a big one.

- That's a big one. - And so sometimes,

it's nice to take a breath and be, like... you know...

(DOOR OPENING, CLOSES)

JASON: Well, hello. Look at your overalls.

MERCY ROSE: I have a present for you.

JASON: What is it?

- Aw! - MERCY: Open it.

JASON: Come on in. I'll open it inside.

- Hey, guys. - MAN: Hey, buddy.

- How you doing? - JASON: Thanks for coming.

♪ (SOFT VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

I haven't been here in a long time.

JASON: I know. It's been a while.

What do you think about the place?

You hear that? Who's that sound like?

- MERCY: Mommy. - JASON: Yeah.

That's neat too.

Go see her.

- Hey! - DAVE: Hey, Mercy.

- What's up? - (MERCY CHUCKLES)

How are you doing?

- MERCY: I gave Daddy a present. - AMANDA: You did?

Mm. Give me some love. I missed you so much.

Thank y'all for bringing her by.

- MERCY: Open it! - Look at that!

It's me and Santa.

That's the best picture I ever got.

That's the best picture I ever gotten.

- I love you, buddy. - Did you eat the chocolate?

I haven't yet. I put it in my pocket.

I'm gonna eat it at the perfect time.

- After dinner. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

♪ ("WHAT'VE I DONE TO HELP" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) ♪

♪ We climbed to safety You and me and the baby ♪

♪ Sent our thoughts And prayers to loved ones ♪

♪ On the ground ♪

♪ And as the days went by We just stopped looking down ♪

♪ Down, down ♪

♪ Now the world's on fire And we just climb higher ♪

♪ Until we're no longer bothered By the smoke and sound ♪

♪ Good people suffer And the heart gets tougher ♪

♪ Nothing given, nothing found ♪

♪ What've I done to help? What've I done to help? ♪

♪ Somebody saved me ♪

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

JASON: I don't look at something and think,

"This is gonna be difficult."

I just look at it and think, "Is this worth doing or not?"

Is it better for us to do this as a team?

My family is incredibly important to me,

but my job is very important to me, too,

because I know that I could not be

of any use to anybody else

if I had to do something different

with my life. I mean, this is the mask

that I have to put on first

before I can put anybody else's on, you know?

Dave, you ready?

DAVE: Do you want to sit the couch or...

- JASON: I think here is fine. - DAVE: Okay.

Let's put it in record, Gena.

All right.

♪ ("LETTING YOU GO" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ The nurse helped us buckle The seat in the car ♪

♪ And they sent us on our way ♪

♪ I drove home so slow ♪

♪ We had no instructions And the first days were hard ♪

♪ But there's things About babies ♪

♪ A woman just knows ♪

♪ At 3:00 in the morning ♪

♪ I lay my hand Over your heart ♪

♪ Just to know you were safe In your sleep ♪

♪ When you started walking I'd fight back the urge ♪

♪ To stay right there beside you To keep you on your feet ♪

♪ And being your daddy Comes natural ♪

♪ Roses just know how to grow ♪

♪ It's easy to see ♪

♪ That you'll get Where you're going ♪

♪ But the hard part Is letting you go... ♪

♪ (SONGS CONCLUDES) ♪

- Hmm, hmm. Hmm. - DAVE: Shit, dude. Whoo.

- That's incredible. - Thank you. Take me a minute.

And then, the older you get, the more emotional you get.

Like, I can't hardly talk to anybody

without something choking me up now.

It's a good thing you don't have a bunch

of hired guns in your band when that happens

'cause they'd be going off tomorrow to Black Bird

and telling everybody in the studio,

"That son of a bitch was crying at his own song.

What an asshole."

♪ (SONG CONTINUES) ♪

♪ And now you've decided To be someone's wife ♪

♪ And we walk down the aisle And I'll give you away ♪

♪ I wish I could walk with him Back through your life ♪

♪ To see every last minute Of every last day ♪

♪ To hear your first words ♪

♪ And to feel Your first heartbreak ♪

♪ To sing you to sleep When you're scared of the dark ♪

♪ The best I can do Is to let myself trust ♪

♪ That you know Who'll be strong enough ♪

♪ To carry your heart ♪

♪ And being your daddy Comes natural... ♪

DAVE: I'm a dad.

I can't help but to hear the lyrics on that one.

He's always got those songs,

that jerk, he makes us all a mess and cry.

♪ It's easy to see ♪

♪ That you'll get Where you're going ♪

♪ But the hard part Is letting you go ♪

♪ The hard part Is letting you go ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

The good thing is your daughter's four.

- JASON: Mm-hmm. - Got some time. (CHUCKLES)

JASON: Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. I do have some time.

- Love you so much. I miss you. - (WHISPERS) Love you so much.

- But, hey, guess what? - What?

We get done with this record,

that means we get to go back on tour

and play new songs for everybody

and go have lots of fun together, okay?

- Maybe do "Oh Well" again? - I'll do "Oh Well" again.

- That's your favorite? - And "Anxiety?"

Yeah, and "Anxiety." All your favorites.

I won't throw them out.

I'll still play them for you, okay?

Okay. When will you throw them out?

I don't think I ever will.

I think I'll just keep playing them for you

as long as you want to hear them, okay?

I want to hear them forever.

Okay, good. Well, that's what we'll do.

(KISSES)

- You'll always be with me. - Yeah, I will.

- Ever. - Forever.

Always be your what? What are we?

- BFFs. - BFFs.

(MERCY WHISPERING)

JASON: You know, you get in this headspace,

I think, when you're an addict, where you think,

"I can control my little corner of the universe."

And things come in and remind you that

that's not really possible.

So, all you can really control is your reactions to things.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(NEIGHS)

SAM JONES: (OVER LAPTOP) Okay, so you push the red button.

Is there a red light on the screen?

JASON: Red dot is on.

SAM: Can you get some audio on the back of camera, too?

Is there some movement when you make--

JASON: Hello. Hey, audio, yeah. Yeah, that's working.

SAM: Okay, good. Welcome to pandemic filmmaking.

Let me just close this Zoom window here,

and we'll be ready to go.

AMANDA: Ready for your first interview questions?

Yeah.

SAM: What does quarantine mean to you?

It means that you have to stay home.

SAM: What do you like to do during the day

- in quarantine? - Well...

sometimes, just sometimes...

I have the best days ever.

Momma! Stay back! It's not a good idea!

AMANDA: (CHUCKLES) What's not a good idea, huh?

Here you go. Here you go.

Do you want to give them some food?

That's what they're following you for.

- Really? Throw some. - AMANDA: Okay.

Who's gonna get it?

AMANDA: You know, I've been touring since I was 12

and professionally since I was 15.

And this is the first time in my whole life

that I haven't played music, like,

at least once every four or five days.

JASON: One coming right behind you, Momma.

(CLUCKS)

- JASON: Ow! - (AMANDA CHUCKLES)

- JASON: Boy, she got me hard. - MERCY: One pecked my leg.

JASON: She got my toe big time, thinking it was a worm.

TRACI: Technically, this is probably

the most time Jason and Amanda

have ever actually spent together.

(SCREAMS) They're pecking my toes.

TRACI: Amanda very much has her own career

outside the 400 Unit. So there can be weeks at a time

when they're not together because they're each

touring behind their own projects.

JASON: Usually, she goes somewhere and I go somewhere,

and then we come back together, and we compare our experiences.

- AMANDA: Yeah. - JASON: And now all of a sudden,

that has stopped.

The ways that we used to celebrate being alive

are not available to us now, so we celebrate being alive

by catching fireflies and watching skunks

and picking flowers and weeding the garden.

This is not Thoreau.

I'm not saying that this is the way

- humans should live. - AMANDA: But we don't get to--

- JASON: I don't like it. - AMANDA: Yeah.

I didn't used to be a stop-and-look-in-the-bird-nest

- kind of guy. - (CHUCKLES)

- But I'm an egg counter now. - (AMANDA CHUCKLES)

(MERCY GROANS)

(SHRIEKING)

JASON: There they go.

How do you like that new voice you got, babies?

(CHUCKLES)

AMANDA: I don't know if it's just that the lens

has gotten so small

'cause we're in these little bubbles

of our own stuff, but I'm wrestling with what,

like, what are-- what is our purpose now?

I knew she would do that. She always does that.

Did you see her? You missed her? She flew right out.

And always get her at a bad time.

- Three little eggs. - I caught it!

AMANDA: Nurturing things and distracting myself

is the best way that I can sort of, you know,

try to not think too hard on all this crap.

Hello?

JOSH: (OVER CELL PHONE) Hey, is that Jason?

Yeah, this is Jason.

JOSH: Hey, Jason. This is Josh from Guitar.com.

- How's it going, man? - How are you doing, Josh?

JOSH: Yeah, yeah, not too bad, man, not too bad.

- How you doing yourself? - Doing all right.

We're all stuck in the house still,

but we're healthy. We're doing okay.

- (CELL PHONE BEEPS) - Oh, wait. I'm getting

another call from London right now.

- Let me-- Hold on there a second. - JOSH: Okay.

Are you with the Sun?

JOSH: Uh, no. I'm with Guitar.com.

Okay. I've got you listed for 12:30. Can you call me back?

JOSH: Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely...

Fantastic. We'll do that in an hour and a half.

- JOSH: Okay. That's good, man. - Thank you.

They never ever get the times right.

I'm so glad you saw that.

TRACI: Since the pandemic started,

we are constantly evolving our plans for the record,

plans for touring,

trying to keep the ball rolling, basically.

The record's called Reunions, and it is done. It is complete.

This is the beautiful vinyl that we will be releasing out

into this mad world.

JOSH: (OVER CELL PHONE) It's a strange time

to be releasing an album in some ways, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a strange time to be doing anything.

It's a strange time to go to the grocery store.

But, you know, definitely releasing an album

because you're so used to that immediate gratification

of going out and performing the songs live.

♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING ON GUITAR) ♪

- Hello. Oh, hello. Hello. - AMANDA: I had the lens cap on.

Hello, lens cap from the world of tomorrow.

- AMANDA: Welcome to sound check. - Welcome.

AMANDA: There's Zach.

JASON: It's dark out here.

Here's our things.

You can see the only thing we've opened so far

are the Doritos. And by "we," I mean "me."

AMANDA: Happy record release day.

JASON: Happy record release day.

Amanda Shires being her glam squad.

Be your own glam squad.

AMANDA: Tell us how you feel about release day.

I feel good about release day.

It's exciting to release an album that I feel good about.

I think it's a good album, but it's also really weird

because the pandemic has changed the way we do everything,

- including releasing the album. - And we miss our band today.

We miss our band so much. We miss our audience.

- AMANDA: Yeah. - JASON: We miss our crew.

I miss our bus.

♪ ("IT GETS EASIER" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Last night I dreamed That I'd been drinking ♪

♪ Same dream I have about twice a week ♪

♪ I had a glass of wine I woke up feeling fine ♪

♪ And that's how I knew It was a dream ♪

♪ It gets easier But it never gets easy ♪

♪ I can say it's all worth it But you won't believe me ♪

♪ And you can't expect her To follow your lead ♪

♪ She's fine with her wine And her weed ♪

♪ It gets easier But it never gets easy ♪

♪ It never gets easy... ♪

JASON: This album was the biggest thing

that I've ever done.

And the process of making it wasn't easy.

I wanted to be there with my band, making really,

really loud noises and then, you know, eating dinner

and drinking some kind of non-alcoholic cocktail

and high-fiving each other, making goofy speeches.

And that was not available to me.

♪ It gets easier But it never gets easy ♪

♪ It never gets easy ♪

♪ It never gets easy ♪

- ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪ - (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Amanda says, "Congratulations.

I know it's not what you hoped, but it's awesome."

And thank you very much.

Thank you for understanding that.

'Cause it is weird as shit. This is weird.

If you got little kids, tell 'em don't say "shit"

if you want to, but I'm gonna say it again.

This is weird as shit, but it would feel weirder

to not put a record out because when I make a record,

I make it about my life and how my life is then.

And my life changes, so I don't want to wait a year

and then talk about what my life was like.

- Thanks. - AMANDA: Happy record release!

- JASON: Yay! - (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

JASON: You know, it turned out being better

than I expected, and it turned out

being a great experience for me and for the audience, I think,

but it wasn't what I wanted to do.

And that sort of lack of celebration...

was... was deflating for me.

♪ (UPBEAT DRUMS PLAYING) ♪

CHAD: When the record was due to drop,

I was still holding on to hope that before too long,

we can get out and do something behind this.

When I finally came around to the reality,

which is, I'm not going anywhere for a good while,

depression would kind of set in.

TRACI: The guys need some love.

They're really proud of the record,

and they just are sitting home, watching from the sidelines.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

JIMBO: It doesn't feel right. It's unsettling, you know.

I feel like I should be on tour, you know? I mean, I really do.

My body is telling me I should have wheels...

(CHUCKLES) ...underneath me right now, you know?

Like I feel the pull of the highway, so to speak.

♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DERRY: The way I've been dealing with it

has just been to go with the flow of things.

TRACI: I have no idea what Derry's doing.

He looks like he's building a spaceship.

(BEEPS)

(WHIRRS)

SADLER: The new 400 Unit record,Reunions,

is the top-selling album in the country.

In a different time, if you had the number-one record

on the charts, you wouldn't be so worried

about the next month.

JASON: Considering the fact that we're in a pandemic,

I expected way less and was prepared

to be okay with that.

So this is an incredible surprise for me.

SADLER: In some ways, it's a bittersweet thing,

but I will say I never thought I would play in a band

that had a number-one anything.

What I meant to say was, I always knew I'd play in a band

that would have a number-one album.

One, two, three.

♪ ("WHAT'VE I DONE TO HELP?" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ What've I done to help? ♪

♪ What've I done to help? Somebody saved me ♪

♪ What've I done to help? What've I done to help? ♪

♪ And not myself? ♪

♪ What've I done to help? What've I done to help? ♪

♪ Somebody saved me ♪

JASON: I had a little bit of a come-apart yesterday.

Amanda and I were filming a live performance for CBS,

and about halfway through the first song,

the Amazon delivery guy came up onto the porch

- and dropped something off. - (TRUCK BEEPING)

JASON: It was sort of like a breaking point for me.

You know, I just told Amanda, "I'm fucking tired of this.

I'm-- I've had enough.

I know that we're in a much better situation

than most people are, but I've still just had enough

of this shit. It just fucking sucks."

It's like you sit down to eat a sandwich,

and all you have are two slices of bread.

You don't have anything to put in between it.

You're trying to pretend it's a sandwich,

and then halfway through it, somebody comes up

and interrupts you. And you want to say,

"Goddamn it, I'm already just eating two slices of bread

and pretending it's a sandwich.

Why can't you just let me do that?"

AMANDA: He's not aware when he does it,

but he'll be like, "Are you not having any fun?"

And then he stomps around and is grumpy, and I was like,

"Are you having fun, you know? What are you doing?"

But then after the recording, he sat down

and just started talking about all of it.

Kind of just kind of, like, uh,

when you get in an over-full bathtub,

but it just kind of splashes everywhere.

JASON: You know, when's the next time

I'm gonna play a regular show at The Greek

for thousands of people?

All crammed in together, jumping up and down

and sweating and dancing and having a good time.

Is it gonna be five years? Is it ever gonna happen again?

If it wasn't for Amanda and Mercy,

I would possibly go back to drinking

because who gives a fuck? Who's even watching?

Who's looking anymore?

It's not like I'm gonna mess up a show.

I can't go play one. I'm not going to do that

because I spend a ton of time with my daughter

and with my wife, and I would let them down.

But if they weren't around here, I don't know if I would be safe.

I don't know if my recovery would be safe.

♪ ("HURRICANES AND HAND GRENADES" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ I got a glass of wine ♪

♪ I got a cigarette ♪

♪ I should be feeling fine ♪

♪ But I ain't feeling Nothing yet ♪

♪ She's leading The second line ♪

♪ Feel like I'm in front of it And I guess I am tonight ♪

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

DERRY: Typical day for the old Jason.

Wake up, it's probably already past noon.

Get in the van.

There's probably some bottles of liquor on the floor

of the van to tide you over,

unload the gear, drink some more.

Play a show while drinking some more.

- (CROWD CHEERING) - ♪ (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DERRY: Finish the show, drink some more,

and then hit repeat.

CHAD: There was usually never a day

filled with great decisions. (CHUCKLES)

I mean, the day-to-day was pretty rough.

DERRY: Right before Jason went sober,

I was actually looking online for internet security courses.

(CHUCKLES)

Just as a fallback in case everything self-destructed.

JASON: Honestly, I didn't consider getting sober

until I met Amanda.

You know, I thought

she's not gonna... stick around for this.

You know, at first, when you're hanging out,

you think that a person, you see 'em off and on,

they're just having fun that night

or for a couple of nights,

and it just got progressively worse and worse,

and, um, you start noticing patterns, like about...

he never woke up in the morning.

It was always in the afternoon. But he always woke up drinking.

And there's a lot of things that go along with that

that are not fun to be around, but...

JASON: One night, I got real drunk,

and I said, "I need help to quit drinking

and I don't think I can do it on my own."

And... Amanda said, "Well, you know,

if you're sure about that, you know,

I'm gonna have to do some things,

and you're not gonna like 'em."

I really think that somebody probably would've helped

or tried to help if it hadn't been me.

Or I hope somebody would.

So it started with a text from her that it was time,

and I said, "Well, I need to hear that from him."

And he texted me that "I think it's time

I do something about my drinking.

I want to be present

while all this good stuff is happening."

Not like in the Drive-By Truckers days.

JASON: So Traci went to the rehab folks,

and earliest they could get me in was Monday.

The Saturday night,

we were playing a private show in Virginia.

It was his last hurrah.

And I don't think I've ever told him this

that I have the audio and the DVD of that.

And it's just something I've always tucked away

just in case he ever slipped.

♪ ("ALABAMA PINES" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Well, I moved into this room If you could call it that ♪

♪ A week ago ♪

♪ I never do What I'm supposed to do ♪

♪ Hardly even know My name anymore ♪

♪ When no one calls it out It kind of vanishes away ♪

♪ And I can't get To sleep at night ♪

♪ The parking lot's So loud and bright ♪

♪ The AC hasn't worked In 20 years ♪

♪ Probably never made A single person cold ♪

♪ But I can't say The same for me ♪

♪ I've done it many times ♪

♪ Somebody take me home Through those Alabama pines ♪

They had a bunch of moonshine from Fredericksburg.

The moonshine capital of the world.

The place where they've always made

the best moonshine. So I drank a ton of that.

- (AUDIENCE CHEERING) - JASON: And I think I took some MDMA at some point.

And tried to get a tattoo,

and they wouldn't give me a tattoo

'cause I was too fucked up. Everybody was pissed at me

'cause I had gotten so drunk and made such an ass of myself.

- (CHUCKLES) - MAN: Dude, you're wasted.

(EXHALES DEEPLY) Man, this is a party.

TRACI: It was the first time

I'd ever heard him drunk on stage.

Hey, Derry deBorja, everybody! Yeah! Whoo! Duh!

- MAN: Play a song! - TRACI: And then, I guess

it was really after the show that things got really,

really ugly.

JASON: Amanda and I got into an argument,

and, you know, I think I got kind of scary to her.

That was sort of a, like,

kind of not the best night for him. So...

JASON: I don't think she was going to stay with me

at that point. I think she was like, "Okay,

I want you to get sober. I'll help you.

I'll be your friend. But I don't think

I can be in a relationship with you, you know?"

So I thought my relationship was done.

So when I was in rehab, I just wrote letters to her,

um,

the whole time, and it worked. I can write a letter.

♪ ("COVER ME UP" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ A heart on the run Keeps a hand on a gun ♪

♪ It can't trust anyone ♪

♪ I was so sure What I needed was more ♪

♪ Tried to shoot out the sun ♪

♪ The days when we raged We flew off the page ♪

♪ Such damage was done ♪

♪ But I made it through 'Cause somebody knew ♪

♪ I was meant for someone... ♪

JASON: That was fucked up in a lot of different ways,

but I was lucky enough to realize

that if I can just quit drinking,

then I might have everything I ever wanted.

AMANDA: It's not hard to commit to somebody,

I don't think.

I mean... if you're in love with him.

He proposed, and I said yes.

But I wanted him to be sober at least a year

before I continued on.

And it's no guarantee. Like, I can trust him,

but I can't trust the addiction at all, you know?

♪ Cover me up And know you're enough ♪

♪ To use me for good... ♪

There's a couple of parts in "Cover Me Up"

I still don't like to hear, but I listen to it anyway.

Now he knows that I liked him even at his worst.(CHUCKLING)

♪ Put your faith to the test When I tore off your dress ♪

♪ In Richmond on high ♪

♪ But I sobered up ♪

♪ I swore off that stuff Forever this time... ♪

JASON: We had a moment recently where we came to the conclusion,

through having a couple of really hard conversations,

that part of our problems still stem

from unresolved issues from when we first got together.

And things that happened when I was still drinking.

I didn't understand that all those years ago,

there were times when she felt trapped

and she felt in danger.

♪ So, girl Hang your dress up to dry ♪

♪ We ain't leaving This room... ♪

JASON: I remember my perspective.

I knew that I wasn't gonna hurt anybody.

But my perspective wasn't the only one.

In the last few months,

I've been doing a lot of thinking

about what did the room look like

from the other corners, you know?

What did it look like from the people

who were afraid of me

and didn't know that ultimately,

uh, it was all gonna be okay?

♪ Cover me up ♪

♪ And know you're enough To use me for good... ♪

JASON: I had the realization of what I had put on her.

You know, she was a catalyst for me getting sober

and cleaning my life up.

I had taken all of this burden of me

becoming what I am now

and I had put it on her shoulders.

And then, what started off as a little tiny relationship

turned into the record Southeastern,

and it was not just ours anymore.

♪ Girl, leave your boots By the bed ♪

♪ We ain't leaving This room... ♪

JASON: There were people hearing these songs,

and when they would hear "Cover Me Up,"

she would go back to the place

where she was afraid of me.

And nobody would understand that.

And then the part that hurt her the worst

is that I didn't understand it because I wasn't willing

to go back and actually look at what really happened.

It's a lot to feel like you're the only person

- in the world that... - That knows...

- Yeah. - ...what really happened.

And I should've known the whole time.

♪ So cover me up ♪

♪ And know you're enough To use me for good ♪

♪ Cover me up ♪

♪ And know you're enough To use me for good ♪

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

DERRY: When Jason went sober, he came out of that experience,

I think, a more caring, kinder, more empathetic individual.

JASON: I fought against my own ability

to get better. And when I stopped doing that,

all of a sudden, I was like, "Okay, you're not so bad.

You're kind of an asshole, but we'll figure that out."

And then we sat there together, me and myself,

and wrote an album that changed my life.

♪ ("MAYBE IT'S TIME" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die ♪

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die ♪

♪ It takes a lot To change a man ♪

♪ Hell, it takes a lot to try ♪

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die ♪

♪ Nobody knows What waits for the dead... ♪

JASON: This pandemic has been a challenge for somebody

who's used to being in control.

It's really saved my ass to be able to sit down

and play the guitar for hours.

I've kind of reverted back to when I was

an unhip high schooler, and I just spent all my time

in my room playing guitar because that's the only thing

that really made me happy.

♪ And I'm glad I can't go back ♪

♪ To where I came from ♪

♪ I'm glad those days Are gone, gone for good... ♪

JASON: Thank you.

♪ But if I could take spirits From my past ♪

♪ And bring them here You know I would ♪

♪ You know I would ♪

♪ But nobody speaks To God these days ♪

♪ Nobody speaks To God these days... ♪

JASON: The chickens have lain their eggs beneath the coop.

♪ I'd like to think He's looking down ♪

♪ And laughing at our ways ♪

♪ But nobody speaks To God these days... ♪

Mommy, I got you a present.

♪ And when I was a child They tried to fool me... ♪

Thank you.

♪ Said the worldly man Was doomed ♪

♪ And hell was real... ♪

Some days I found beautiful dead moths.

♪ Well, I've seen hell In Reno ♪

♪ And this world's just One big old Catherine wheel ♪

♪ Spinning still... ♪

AMANDA: He's made a picnic.

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die ♪

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die... ♪

Oh, some garden gloves.

♪ It takes a lot To change your plans ♪

♪ And a train To change your mind ♪

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die... ♪

JASON: Look at that stinky bastard.

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die... ♪

- (AMANDA CHUCKLES) - JASON: Quarantine, day 194.

♪ Maybe it's time To let the old ways die ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

MERCY: I smell alcohol.

AMANDA: That's because we just put some in your ears.

And I can smell with my ears?

- (JASON CHUCKLES) - You can use your ears

- to help you smell? - I think your ears...

JASON: (CHUCKLES) That's my daughter.

Don't put your fingers in your ears. Don't do that.

I like to smell the alcohol.

JASON: (CHUCKLES) That's my child, there.

"Well, do you love me the most with my big,

big eyes that will watch you grow wise, wise, wise?"

- There's three-- - "It's me, Ollie.

Do you love me the most?"

- Do you? - There's--

- There's three-- - Do you? Do you love me the most?

- Do you? - (CHUCKLES) Stop--

- Hoo. Hoo. - Stop interrupting me.

- What? - Stop interrupting me.

- Who? - You.

- Who-oo? - You.

- Who-oo? - You.

- Who-oo? - You.

- Who-oo? - You.

JASON: Hey, Mercy, knock, knock?

- Who's there? - JASON: Interrupting mom.

- Interrupting mom-- - (SHAKILY) Hello!

- (JASON CHUCKLES) - (BOTH LAUGH)

In quarantine times, there are breakthrough couples

and breakup couples, I've decided.

(CHUCKLES) A lot of people we know are getting divorced.

And I understand that totally. But I think for me and Amanda,

I think we're having breakthroughs.

I feel like we're getting to know each other better,

I think. And, like, today, everything's great, you know?

Yesterday, everything was great. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

♪ ("RIVER" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ The river is my savior 'Cause she used to be a cloud ♪

♪ She's happy just to lay there When she used to be so proud ♪

♪ And even when she dries up A thousand years from now ♪

♪ I'll lay myself beside her And call her name out loud... ♪

JASON: So I see COVID-19 as something that is forcing me

to adapt and to grow.

I'm bound and determined to make a positive out of this.

And the ultimate positive

is to let it connect me with other people more.

♪ But now I'm tired And a little bit confused ♪

♪ Regarding what I meant to do And what I did... ♪

CHAD: To be back in the room with everybody else

will make my heart explode. So I know I'll be in tears.

I-- I feel like we will all be in tears

'cause you don't feel whole right now.

JIMBO: I'd be happy just to play on the back porch

for the birds if it was me

and my whole band playing together

at the same time. I'd be thrilled.

♪ The river is my savior She's running to the sea ♪

♪ And to reach her destination Is to simply cease to be ♪

♪ And running 'Til you're nothing ♪

♪ Sounds a lot like being free ♪

♪ So I'll lay myself inside her And I'll let her carry me... ♪

I mean, there's this moment right before we go on stage

where we're all gathered in the wing,

Jason gives a thumbs up to everybody

with a raised eyebrow to make sure,

you know, "Everybody good? Everybody good?"

And I miss that.

I can't wait to do that again.

I can't wait to be in that huddle.

JASON: See y'all tomorrow.

- (LIGHT SWITCH FLICKING) - ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

There's only one story.

They say three in your creative writing classes.

But there's only one really, and that's,

"Will you listen to what my life is like?

You know? And let's compare."

♪ ("IF WE WERE VAMPIRES" BY JASON ISBELL PLAYING) ♪

♪ It's not the long flowing Dress that you're in ♪

♪ Or the light coming Off of your skin ♪

♪ The fragile heart You protected for so long ♪

♪ Or the mercy in your sense Of right and wrong ♪

♪ It's not your hands Searching slow in the dark ♪

♪ Or your nails Leaving love's watermark ♪

♪ It's not the way You talk me off the roof ♪

♪ Your questions Like directions to the truth ♪

♪ It's knowing That this can't go on forever ♪

♪ Likely one of us ♪

♪ Will have To spend some days alone ♪

♪ Maybe we'll get Forty years together ♪

♪ But one day I'll be gone Or one day you'll be gone ♪

♪ If we were vampires And death was a joke ♪

♪ We'd go out On the sidewalk and smoke ♪

♪ And laugh at all the lovers And their plans ♪

♪ I wouldn't feel the need To hold your hand ♪

♪ Maybe time running out Is a gift ♪

♪ I'll work hard 'Til the end of my shift ♪

♪ And give you Every second I can find ♪

♪ And hope it isn't me Who's left behind ♪

♪ It's knowing That this can't go on forever ♪

♪ Likely one of us ♪

♪ Will have to spend Some days alone ♪

♪ Maybe we'll get Forty years together ♪

♪ But one day I'll be gone One day you'll be gone ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪