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♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
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♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪
3
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Oh, son, when you're young,
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it's easy to think that older people
5
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:20,311
have all the answers.
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But then you date one,
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and you realize
we're all just flying blind.
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SOPHIE'S SON (on phone):
Yeah, I actually dated a senior
9
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,610
for a few months last semester,
10
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,237
so I-I know what you mean, you know?
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00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:31,531
Sweetie. I'm kind of
in the middle of a story here.
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Your generation just loves
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to talk about themselves.
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Anyway, um,
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I had been dating Robert for a few weeks,
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00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:43,460
and it was putting
a real spring in my step.
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{\an8}Guys! I just saw a pigeon
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{\an8}on a romantic stroll...
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{\an8}with a rat.
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{\an8}Well, well, well, if it isn't
our long-lost lovestruck Sophie.
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{\an8}You've been off in Robert-land forever.
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{\an8}The apartment's a wreck,
and Cowgirl Cleanup
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{\an8}is a two-woman job.
24
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Whoa, Nelly!
25
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This bronco's got buck!
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{\an8}We promised each other that
we wouldn't talk about Cowgirl Cleanup
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{\an8}until the trademark clears.
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{\an8}Okay. Yeah. I know I've been gone a lot,
29
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{\an8}but it's just that Robert keeps planning
30
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{\an8}all of these amazing dates.
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I have not set an alarm in years.
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My body just naturally wakes up at 6 AM.
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You're amazing.
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This is my tomato bisque.
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Holy shit!
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Whoa!
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{\an8}And then, we go back to his apartment,
38
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{\an8}which overlooks Central Park,
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and we do it until the sun comes up.
40
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{\an8}I got a question. When you're "doing it,"
41
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{\an8}do you ever accidentally activate
42
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,151
{\an8}his Life Alert necklace?
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{\an8}Ha. 'Cause he's older.
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{\an8}Very funny. Yes.
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{\an8}Uh, does he sleep in one of those
46
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{\an8}floor-length grandpa nightgowns?
47
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Yeah, with one of those long pointy hats?
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{\an8}And he's all like,
49
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{\an8}"honk-shoo, honk-shoo, mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!"
50
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Ignore them, Soph. I think it's great.
51
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{\an8}It actually got me to widen
the age range on my dating apps,
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{\an8}and I met someone.
53
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{\an8}Wait, you're dating a new guy?
Well, how do I not know this?
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{\an8}Well-- (sighs) I'm late to meet him.
55
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{\an8}I'll fill you in later.
We can do Cowgirl Confessions.
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Save it for the Sharks!
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Guys, Robert is going
to be here any minute, okay?
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So, no more old man jokes.
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{\an8}Of course not.
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{\an8}We want him to feel
totally comfortable here.
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That's why Sid put prune juice on tap.
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{\an8}What are we laughing at?
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{\an8}We're just razzing our friend
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{\an8}'cause she's dating an old guy.
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{\an8}Yeah.
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{\an8}- I believe that's me.
- Oh, what?
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{\an8}But, you're... beautiful.
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{\an8}Uh, Robert, meet my friends.
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{\an8}Friends, this is Robert.
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Zamn, Zaddy! Your skin is golden.
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{\an8}It's like the flesh of a sun-dappled peach
on a late summer's evening.
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{\an8}- May I?
- Sure.
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{\an8}Oh. How do you get it
to stay so supple? It's so--
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Okay, we don't need another lawsuit. Yeah.
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Introductions are over.
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Ah, your friends are nice.
Little handsy, but nice.
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Uh, yeah, that's, that's
them in a nutshell.
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Hey, you know what?
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I was thinking...
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00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,199
tonight, I would take you out.
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And by "out,"
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I mean, in to my apartment,
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where it's cozy. And cheap.
84
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A night in at your place sounds great.
85
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Yeah.
86
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You okay?
87
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,548
I just kind of thought
he'd be, like, some old novelty
88
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,426
she'd be into for a while,
and then get tired of, you know?
89
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:41,012
Like those two weeks she tried being a
top hat person.
90
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,139
You're sure it's not giving Lincoln?
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Only in that it's blowing my brains out.
92
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,852
I'm sorry.
93
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,437
Uh, maybe his organs are in worse shape
94
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,396
than his outer body,
95
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a-and he won't live much longer.
96
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,776
Probably not, though.
97
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He glows from within.
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Hey!
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Class of '88. Me, too.
100
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:02,367
Huh?!
101
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,411
I'm sorry, what? You two are the same age?
102
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,080
Looks like it.
103
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Does not!
104
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Sid, promise me that in 25 years,
we're gonna look like him,
105
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and not like him.
106
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,340
- Sorry, no offense.
- Huh?!
107
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,218
Dude, of course,
we're gonna age like Robert.
108
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Look at us.
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00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,012
No, you're right.
110
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,847
And that one gray hair,
nothing to worry about.
111
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,641
Exactly, dude. I barely even see it.
112
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,018
- What, me?
- Yeah.
113
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,895
No, I meant your gray hair.
I don't have any gray hair.
114
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Neither do I.
115
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:34,482
- I-- No. Mm-mm!
- No!
116
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What's up, sad boy?
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00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,573
Figured you could use a hang.
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00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:45,076
Plus, Rachel's still in Florida
taking care of her aunt.
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I'm lonely, I'm bored,
120
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,414
- and I miss my bae's touch!
- Okay.
121
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,625
Not loving your touch right now,
but, uh, okay, fine.
122
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,836
Yeah, I guess I could use the company.
123
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,212
I'll go order us a pizza.
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00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,922
Can Robert do that?
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Eh, he'd probably just make it,
since he's a super-talented chef.
126
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,263
I mean, I hate that old dirtbag!
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00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,474
Ooh.
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00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:09,976
Oh!
129
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,812
Hey, babe. How's Boca?
Don't know.
130
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,105
I flew home early.
131
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,357
My aunt's Florida friends
were all, "Don't say gay."
132
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:19,610
And I was like, "You know what?
I'm gonna say it. Gay! Bye!"
133
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,363
Come over.
I haven't seen you in weeks,
134
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:25,658
and there's some things
we couldn't do on FaceTime.
135
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,369
I'm dying to do those things,
but I promised Jesse we'd hang.
136
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:29,620
Maybe I can bail?
137
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,497
Yeah, hi. Yeah,
I'll get a sausage pie, please.
138
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,874
Oh, and, and make it a large,
139
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,459
'cause I'm hangin' with my sister.
140
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I can't bail.
141
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,381
You're so lucky your brother's in prison.
142
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Oh, man. We are aging
so much faster than I thought!
143
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,344
Oh, you're right.
144
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,721
We look like Grace and Frankie's
grandfathers.
145
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,307
The lighting in here is not helping!
146
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,892
Siddhartha, do not blame the lighting!
147
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,269
Two paths diverging into the woods.
148
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One leads to gorgeous Robert,
149
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,565
and the other leads to that
cranky old man at the bar
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whose head looks like a scrotum.
151
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,694
Dude, you're right.
152
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,780
We gotta start taking better
care of ourselves right now.
153
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,990
That's how you get to be a Robert.
154
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,700
Just need to be calm about this.
155
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Don't need to do anything drastic.
156
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,914
Oh, absolutely. Calm, non-drastic.
157
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We will do anything to look young forever!
158
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Wowza. I am romantic as butt.
159
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Hey, Val!
160
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Hey!
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Wait, did you sign up for
Big Brother Big Sister
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without me?
163
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,488
What? This is the guy
I told you about. Swish.
164
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Swish?
165
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,366
'Sup?
166
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,536
We got kicked out of his dorm
for hustling a game of flip cup,
167
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:55,498
and Swish lost his fake ID,
so he can't go to bars.
168
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,625
Your guys' place is sick!
169
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,086
- My girl is hella aspirational.
- Aw...
170
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,547
Um, Val?
Hmm?
171
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,507
Can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a minute?
172
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,592
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
173
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,179
How old is he?
174
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,558
NYU, Class of '26, bay-bee!
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Two-six!
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00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,147
Okay, I am super happy for you,
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but you guys can't stay here
178
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'cause Robert's gonna be here any minute,
179
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:23,234
and I have this whole night planned.
180
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,528
Soph, you've barely been home for weeks,
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00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,321
and now, you're trying to kick me out?
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Please!
183
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,908
- I'm trying to have a date.
- Me, too.
184
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,411
Y'all have your own bedrooms?! Damn!
185
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,914
Okay, but yours is ridiculous.
186
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,084
You and Robert are no less ridiculous
187
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,294
than me and Swish.
188
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,546
And we're not going anywhere,
so I guess the four of us
189
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will just have to share
the apartment tonight.
190
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- Fine.
- Fine.
191
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:55,850
'Sup, sir? I'm Swish.
192
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,102
Whoa, pink wine?
193
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,443
This is our cryotherapy chamber.
194
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,112
The subzero nitrogen
helps detoxify the body
195
00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:10,198
while also reducing oxidative stress.
196
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,909
You know, I am so glad scientists gave up
on climate change
197
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,286
and started focusing
on making us look hot.
198
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,163
Mm.
199
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,502
Some people find it helpful to sing a song
200
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,420
to keep your mind off the pain.
201
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,672
Sorry, the what now?
202
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,759
- Ah! Ah! Oh, my God! Cold! Cold!
- Ah! Ow! Ow!
203
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,676
Try singing!
204
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,012
Uh, la la la!
205
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,639
La la la!
206
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,099
- Are you singing or crying?
- Both!
207
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,862
Would you like more salad?
208
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,532
No, I never went to college.
209
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,576
No, salad!
210
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,745
Yeah.
211
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,083
- Uh, so I was thinking--
- What?
212
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,001
I was-- Oh, my God.
213
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,547
Val!
214
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,095
Hey. Why don't you join us?
215
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,846
We have plenty of food.
216
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,432
You must have worked up
an appetite with all that jumping.
217
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:21,060
Fire! I'd love to throw a fork in that.
218
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,355
Ah, yes. That is a fire idea, Robert.
219
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,983
See? My guy's mature
and deals with problems.
220
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,109
Yeah. Back problems.
221
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,071
Where's the mirror?
222
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,031
I want to see how good we look.
223
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:38,911
Oh, you won't see results
after just one treatment.
224
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,080
Most of our clients
like to come in twice a week.
225
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,874
Uh, we're looking for something
we'd only have to do, like,
226
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,668
twice a year.
227
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:47,378
Of course.
228
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,298
Well, whatever she has in mind,
229
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,592
it can't possibly hurt
as much as that just did.
230
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,677
How do we feel about needles?
231
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,514
Depends on where
you're gonna stick it, Kirstin.
232
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,518
Sorry that took so long.
233
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,187
Ellen?
234
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:14,155
Oh, my God! Get out,
get out, get out!
235
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,952
I'm so, so sorry!
236
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,079
Rachel came home early,
and I didn't wanna ditch you,
237
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,415
so I asked her over here.
And then you were gone so long.
238
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,499
And then one thing led to another.
239
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:26,417
And then I just need you to know
240
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,376
that it was not my boob!
241
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:28,336
What?!
242
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:29,629
I think you saw a boob back there,
243
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,547
a-and it's important to me that you know
244
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,007
that was your sister's girlfriend's boob
245
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,884
and not your sister's boob!
246
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,927
Why would you use my bed?
247
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:39,930
At least somebody's using it.
248
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,557
What is that supposed to mean?!
Nothing!
249
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,102
I-I might have told her that you haven't
slept with anyone since Meredith.
250
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,562
What? For all you know,
251
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,356
I could've slept with
dozens of women since Meredith!
252
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,191
No, Sid hasn't texted me.
253
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,734
You and Sid text about my sex life.
254
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,277
Not lately.
255
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,820
How did this happen?!
256
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,447
How did I become the guy
who has so little sex
257
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,740
that people text about it?!
258
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,075
I mean, I'm cool!
259
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,702
I play the guitar!
I collect vintage T-shirts!
260
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:05,748
Yes, 'cause you have a lot of
extra time from not having sex.
261
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,625
Really glad we're finally getting
262
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,627
to spend some time together, Rachel.
263
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,755
Jesse, yes, you're cool.
264
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,633
But, you're also a softie
who's hung up on a hottie
265
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,009
who's into an oldie.
266
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,053
And I hate to say it, bro,
but you need to move on.
267
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,763
Or, at the very least, take back the bed.
268
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,140
You're right. I need to take back the bed.
269
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,559
I'm gonna go out right now
and find a woman to have sex with.
270
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,979
In a very respectful way
where she also mutually
271
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,523
wants to have sex with me.
272
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,066
- Totally! Get back out there.
- Oh, yes!
273
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,234
Leave now! We'll watch the place.
274
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,027
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
275
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,362
You're coming with me, okay?
276
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,073
Nothing is creepier
than a single straight white guy
277
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,450
sitting alone at a bar,
trying to pick up women.
278
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,244
Fine. Great.
279
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,454
I can't get laid
until my brother gets laid.
280
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:48,165
Love it. Very Mormon.
281
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,460
So, Swish?
282
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,546
What'd you learn at school today?
283
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,048
Um, we've been studying really old films.
284
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,967
Uh, specifically from the late '90s.
285
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,844
My thesis is on the Scream franchise.
286
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,887
Ooh! I catered the New York premiere.
287
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,598
David Arquette loved my hummus.
288
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,059
Mad respect, sir.
289
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,853
Is it true landlines
were invented for that movie?
290
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,146
Oh, Robert.
291
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:12,440
You do not have
to help Swish with his homework.
292
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,774
Oh, I don't know.
293
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,526
I think it might be nice for Swish
294
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,319
to learn from his elders.
295
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,448
Isn't that what he's doing with you?
296
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,367
Besides, Robert and I have important...
297
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,869
grown-up things to talk about.
298
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,038
You know what? Nothing makes
you sound more like a dumb baby
299
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:29,999
than when you call something "grown-up."
300
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,960
Oh, you should know a thing or two
about dumb babies 'cause you're dating one.
301
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,297
We should just stay quiet, right?
302
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,466
You're very smart for your age.
303
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,432
This is our top-of-the-line age simulator.
304
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,143
I can show you exactly
how you'll look in 25 years
305
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,144
if you do nothing.
306
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:56,692
Oh, my face.
Oh, my beautiful face!
307
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,110
Well, good luck to you, buddy.
308
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,362
I guess some of us are just
blessed with good genes.
309
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,822
You know what they say,
310
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,366
"South Asian don't raisin."
311
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,703
Oops. I, I forgot to hit play
on your simulation.
312
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,584
I'm a raisin! I'm a raisin!
313
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,378
Shoot us up with everything you've got.
314
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,552
Jesse, I promise
you don't say "hello" weird.
315
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,471
Just go talk to that cute girl.
316
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,181
Are you sure? It feels like
it's coming out weird.
317
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,058
Hello. Hallo. Hallo?
318
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,143
- Just go with hi!
- Hi!
319
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,814
- Hi! Hi!
- Hi! Hi.
320
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,359
Wait, wait. C-can you do the sound
321
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:39,485
of the dial-up modem again?
322
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,195
The modem goes like this.
323
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,916
Anyone need more wine? I need wine.
324
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,876
Hey, actually, I'm going to, uh,
325
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,628
use the facility and get going.
326
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,672
No. No no, don't get going.
327
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,466
Valentina, can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a minute?
328
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,344
You guys are driving
Robert out of here,
329
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,346
and I know you're not
really that into Swish.
330
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,557
You're wrong. I like Swish.
331
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,433
I really like Swish.
332
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,435
In fact, I think I love Swish.
333
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,899
If you swear to me
that you're serious about Swish,
334
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,652
then I'll drop it and be happy for you.
335
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,991
Fine.
I'm not serious about Swish.
336
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,535
I was just mad that you
made fun of my relationship,
337
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,662
and then tried to kick me
out of our apartment.
338
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,705
Okay.
339
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,707
And that was lame of me, alright?
340
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,209
But, I-I was just nervous
about hosting Robert.
341
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,336
We never have grown-ups here
that aren't our parents.
342
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,338
Soph, you have to stop saying grown-ups.
343
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,673
I know!
344
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,509
Why are you hanging out with Swish
345
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:46,594
when you don't really like him?
346
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,429
Oh, I like him fine.
347
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,432
I mean, obviously,
I'll get bored and end it soon,
348
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,892
but he's a lot of fun.
349
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,144
And a hell of an ego boost.
350
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,980
I do any basic adult things,
Swish is like,
351
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:01,317
"Holy shit!" or, "Whoa!"
or, "You're amazing!"
352
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:03,861
Oh no.
353
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:05,905
Holy shit!
354
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:06,947
Whoa!
355
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,699
You're amazing.
356
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,160
I'm Robert's Swish.
357
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:16,123
What are you in the mood for? Wine? Beer?
358
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,625
I can make you a Manhattan
359
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,127
if you promise not to judge me
for googling it.
360
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:24,924
God! Please don't look at us!
361
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,801
Just try to remember me as I was!
362
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,678
What the hell happened to you two?
363
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,014
We got some
preventative work done.
364
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,974
But I had an allergic reaction
to the Botox.
365
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:36,810
My body is literally rejecting youth.
366
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,648
I'm just a little bit raw from the lasers.
367
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,567
And the needling.
368
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,527
And the chemical peel.
369
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:46,695
Honestly, it is disgusting
370
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:49,156
the hoops we make men jump through.
371
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,368
Anne, I'd like you
to meet Charlie and Sid.
372
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,334
I really like your room.
373
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,127
Thanks. I, uh,
374
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,587
painted it myself.
375
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,089
Ooh...
376
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,264
Whose bra is this?
377
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,266
- D-do you have a girlfriend?
- No, no, no.
378
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,559
W-- honestly,
it's probably just my sister's.
379
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,978
Uh, she was having sex in here earlier.
380
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,189
Not with me. We don't do that.
She's adopted.
381
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,066
Don't know why I said that. Uh...
382
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,112
I'll call you a Lyft.
383
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,196
Yeah.
384
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:34,201
Soph! Relax. You are not Robert's Swish.
385
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,619
- He really likes you.
- Yeah,
386
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,538
he likes me for the moment
387
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,624
because I'm young and fun
and easily impressed.
388
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:43,210
Okay, but what happens
when the novelty wears off?
389
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,964
It's gonna be like that time
when I decided to be a top hat person.
390
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,882
Nope!
391
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,803
Okay, if you're really worried
about it, then test it out.
392
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,305
Try to make plans with Robert
for, like, a month from now.
393
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:58,100
If he commits, you're golden.
If he doesn't...
394
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,310
you're his Swish.
395
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,479
Genius.
396
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,689
Mm-hmm.
397
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:07,026
Swish and I
will give you guys some space.
398
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,111
I don't know where he went.
399
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,071
Maybe he has a curfew?
400
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,740
Hey. That was fun.
401
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,074
Thank you for dinner.
402
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:16,368
Oh, come on! No, it's, it's still early.
403
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,538
- No, I-I really gotta get home.
- Okay, but before you do, uh,
404
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:23,167
the Fleet Foxes are playing
Webster Hall in a few weeks.
405
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,376
We should go.
406
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,794
Uh, call you tomorrow.
We'll talk all about it.
407
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,087
Okay, but I have it right here.
408
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,547
Hey, don't go rushing
into buying anything.
409
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,257
No, no, no! Who's rushing?
410
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,010
Just take a peep.
411
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,428
Just send me the information,
412
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,138
and, you know, we'll figure it out.
413
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,307
Oh! Maybe concerts aren't your thing,
414
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,725
but here is a list
415
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,351
of upcoming events in the city.
416
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,062
There's museums and flea markets...
417
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,189
Politically incorrect
puppet shows!
418
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,398
Please let me go home!
419
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,401
Our dates have kept me up late
for the last two weeks,
420
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,819
and if I don't go home right now
421
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,488
and get nine hours of sleep
422
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:56,075
on my Tempur-Pedic mattress,
I-I'm gonna physically collapse.
423
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,912
So, you're not avoiding
making plans with me
424
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,207
because you don't wanna commit
to seeing me a month from now?
425
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,250
What?
426
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,127
No, I'm not making plans
427
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,506
'cause I can't see your phone
without my reading glasses.
428
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,424
But I didn't wanna tell you that
429
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,635
or admit how tired I am
430
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,845
because I don't want you
to feel like you're dating
431
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,306
an old guy. Just an older guy.
432
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,603
I'll tell you what.
How about next Saturday,
433
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:28,065
or however far into the future
you want me to commit,
434
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,276
we'll go to my place upstate,
435
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,821
whole weekend, just me and you.
436
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,199
I choose next Saturday.
437
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,492
I was hoping you would.
438
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,204
Val!
439
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,623
V-Valentina?
440
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,291
There you are!
441
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,086
Look, uh,
442
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,672
I-I know we've only been dating
for a few weeks, but...
443
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:53,924
when you know, you know.
444
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,929
I've never met anyone like you,
445
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,889
and I love you, and...
446
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,015
I know you love me, too.
447
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:03,725
Will you marry me?
448
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,437
- Yeah, okay.
- What?
449
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,689
Ah!
450
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,482
She said yes! You said yes!
451
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,860
Oh, my gosh,
I gotta call my mom right now!
452
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,237
Wrong room.
Oh! Sorry.
453
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,574
Why would you say yes?
454
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,200
I didn't wanna be mean!
455
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,828
Kids these days have,
like, zero attention span.
456
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,288
He'll forget about it by tomorrow.
457
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,749
He wouldn't.
31521
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