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I'm a woman on fire.

Stop me if you can.

But nobody can come in my way.

Not even me.

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Are you okay?

I finished the book.

I finished the book.

I finished the book!

I finished the book!

Now, what are the five words...

that can make any man

feel intimated?

Hint. It's not...

"Why is the towel on the bed?"

It's...

"What do women really want?"

Before my therapist becomes a millionaire,

is there anyone over here who could actually answer that question for me?

-Anyone? -My cue.

You?

Me?

Ya, you look like somebody who has all the answers.

I mean, you look like you're really frustrated!

I'll clarify. You look rather badass from up here.

Will you join me on stage, please?

-Yes. Yes! -Ya?

Guys, give her a cheer.

-Guys! -Siddhi!

Hi.

I clearly seem to have this effect on women.

So, what's your name?

Siddhi Patel.

Siddhi...

will you please tell all of us...

what do women

really want?

Equal pay?

Go, girl!

Alright!

Okay, okay. I hear you.

All you kids in the audience, shut your ears, please...

because I'm going to drop the "F" word.

Are you... a feminist?

Why are you saying it like it's an insult?

No. I mean, feminism is slightly confusing, right?

Should I... hold the door open for you?

Or you're independent and you'd rather do it on your own?

You know, I don't... I find this really funny.

For thousands of years, the men have been closing all the doors on us.

But in the name of chivalry...

But in the name of chivalry, opening one door gives them feminist burns.

I think it's pretty simple.

If I'm standing in front of you, I'll open the door for you.

If you're standing in front of me, feel free to open the door for me.

I have another question.

Say we're out on a date.

And I get you a drink.

I don't even know you.

How can you assume I'll go on a date with you?

I mean... #absurdlyforward

Okay. Let me rephrase that.

I ask you out. You happen to say "yes".

I get you a drink.

What do I get in return?

A GST bill?

-Hey, Damini... -Hi...

Here. This is yours.

I can't tell you how much I've been waiting for this.

Ya?

You'll love it, Shridhar. I mean, I hope you love it.

I'll definitely read it.

Thank you. I'm really looking forward to reading this.

I'm really looking forward to reading this.

Thank you. Bye.

Take care. Bye. Thank you.

May the publishing bids pour in!

And may Dee get justice for the Judge and his family.

And may those idiots at Investigator regret all their decisions.

-To Judge Damodar. -Yeah!

-May truth prevail. Always. -Always!

-What's going on? -Mangs!

Congrats, Dee. You guys, I'm sorry but I need to leave.

Mangs, are you insane? It's not even eight o'clock!

There's no bloody curfew, you know!

I know.

But I can't leave Samara alone for this long.

Even when Arya was three months,

I didn't have so many restrictions.

Please, Mangs. We miss you.

I miss you guys, too. Just a few more days.

I'm taking her to a yoga and meditation center tomorrow.

Mangs...

how are you coping with this whole thing?

-Are you okay? -Ya.

I'm good.

I'm assuming you're aware of the giver-receiver theory.

Sometimes the giver gives so much...

that they end up empty from within.

Sorry. Sorry.

Congratulations.

Umang tells me you've finished the book.

Yes, I finally did.

Thanks.

Weren't you going somewhere?

You're the one who's always going somewhere.

Okay. Sorry.

Please. You first.

No. You first.

Why don't I just go through?

And Jeh, when you're done here...

the ice-delivery guy is waiting for his cheque.

Of course.

I don't think Myra likes me at all.

Why does she need to?

Jeh...

Do you still...

like me?

Damini, I'm holding two crates

and my ice-delivery guy is waiting for me.

Not exactly the right time to have this conversation.

-Hold on a second, please. -Oh!

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

What floor?

-The same. -Okay.

Lift! Lift! Lift!

-Sorry, what floor? -Six.

Okay.

Not even a thank you. Courtesy is dead.

Fuck.

Oh, Lord! Elevator rides are everything they're cracked up to be!

I think I cracked my jaw laughing so hard!

He didn't even crack a smile back there!

-Maybe you should've cracked a joke! -Maybe I should have.

-Have a good day. -You too.

-Morning, sir. -Morning, morning.

Bose and Agarwal?

Ma'am, that way.

-Good morning, sir. -Morning.

Hi, Mr. Shashank Bose?

Please go ahead.

We have all the documents with us here?

I want to be out of here before lunch.

Alright?

Ms. Menon?

Mr. Bose?

That's right. Shashank Bose.

Leading lawyer for Adalene SA.

What a pleasure it was to meet you.

Likewise, Mr. Bose.

How does it feel to be fighting against such a tiny co-operative?

An idealist in today's day and age?

Well, without the idealists, the world would come to an end.

Am I right, Mr. Bose?

You're a poet, too?

Sometimes.

To take my mind off perpetrators of injustice like your clients.

Perpetrators of injustice?

Please.

Are you a lawyer or a judge?

Let the case begin.

And we'll know soon enough who is being used for publicity.

Ekalaya is a fifteen year old co-operative, Mr. Bose.

Why would they need publicity?

Well, in that case, Adalene is a 75 year old company

formed by a seamstress in a studio apartment in Paris post World War II.

What on earth would they need Ekalaya for?

Since we're time-traveling into the past, Mr. Bose,

then the weaving traditions of Kullu and Kinnaur go back thousands of years.

Well, in that case, the French fashion industry...

goes way back in time too.

In fact, they invented the word couture.

-Am I saying it right? -Yes.

And it's the same French fashion industry,

who like the Brits,

sold all the cotton, silk, and indigo of the world to earn profits.

And owing to their technology,

the fashion industry continues to survive in many third-world nations.

Yes, that's true.

Like the sweat shops in India, Nepal and Bangladesh.

Big fan, Ms. Menon.

Loved how you defended the defamation cases against Tech Corp.

As am I, Mr. Bose.

Loved your work for Pilots' Union against Nebula Airlines.

Ya, I was pretty good.

So, should we...

crack this case open?

Yes.

Shall we?

People will recognize me.

Celebrities come here all the time.

No one's going to even bother about you.

Literally, nobody cares.

Let's go.

Umang's reality shot.

Brings you right back down to earth.

-Greetings. -Hello.

Welcome to our spa. We're delighted to have you.

-Please follow me. -Delighted to be here.

This is our Yoga pavilion.

We conduct three classes of Ashtanga Yoga everyday.

And every morning, you'll get your wheatgrass shot...

along with your daily itinerary.

Wheat grass is my favorite shot.

After tetanus, of course.

Okay, every morning, I need my cleanser.

Flax seeds, chia seeds and goji berries.

Also Leh berries, hemp seeds and acai berries

and some baobab.

She has a pooping problem.

Don't worry, ma'am.

Her bowels are our responsibility now.

-Absolutely. -Good.

It's so good to have a friend who is this considerate.

Actually...

Umang is my girlfriend.

Okay.

Let me take you to your room?

-Sure. Take us. -Okay, follow me.

Wow.

Okay, then.

Authors and publishing types make me nervous.

-You better not abandon me. -You better not abandon me.

You're my wing woman tonight.

I mean today.

I don't see no one I know.

-Should we get a drink? -Should we get a drink?

-Stop laughing so loud! -Sorry.

Shit! Bose!

-Adalene's lawyer. -Where?

Blue suit. White shirt.

You sure he's a lawyer? And not a poster boy?

Dee, please stop it.

I work with him. I mean, against him.

-I mean, you know what I mean? -I don't know what you mean.

Aparna!

Aparna!

Hi! How are you?

So nice to see you! My friend, Anjana.

-Hi. -Aparna.

Hello.

I'm so glad you came.

Of course, I had to. After the very personal invitation.

Listen...

did you read the manuscript?

Damini! It's a party!

-Shall we talk later? -Okay.

Why don't you and your friend go and get yourselves a drink?

Go on. Enjoy the party!

Thank you.

Now what?

That's Shridhar Nair of Phoenix Books.

Shridhar! Hi!

-Okay. -I don't know what's going on.

Hey. Menaka.

-Hi. -Hi.

How are you?

Great.

I'm great, Damini.

Did you read the book or...

couldn't find the time?

You know, seriously...

I'm snowed under a lot of work.

Right.

But I'll get to it soon. Ya?

Is it just me or is this party really frigid?

Minus twenty five degrees.

Feels like we're in Antarctica.

-What are you doing! -Just making sure.

Hey.

Listen, will you stay here for two minutes?

I'll just go talk to her.

What the hell is going on, Aparna?

Why is everyone ignoring me?

I'm sorry, Damini.

Perhaps, I shouldn't have invited you.

Why?

No one's going to publish your book, Damini.

No one can publish it...

and they're too embarrassed to tell you that.

Is it that bad?

It's just the first draft, I promise.

I am going to work with the editor, you know...

No!

It's not that.

It's just that...

It's a great book.

It's powerful, it's well researched, it's gripping.

In fact, it's the best book I've read in years.

Then, what's the problem?

It's too controversial, Damini.

And in this current political environment,

to publish this kind of a book...

is a massive risk.

It implicates a lot of powerful people in the government.

They could shut us down.

People's lives will be at risk.

No one's going to touch it, Damini.

No one.

Judge Damodar lost his life for the truth, Aparna.

Exactly.

The truth comes at a very high price.

Scared cowards.

Government puppets.

Capitalist slaves.

Wow. So much anger.

-Hi! -Hi.

I sympathize with you.

This boring party...

can make anyone angry.

Seriously! From right wing-left wing disputes...

to Trump's governance and...

There is a ready opinion on everything here.

On everything!

From the coal mining in Dhanbad...

to the best wine from Napa Valley--

To the Saudi dictatorship...

-It's like surfing Snapchat for... -For generation X!

-Exactly. -It is!

Like...

Hi.

I'm Damini.

Sorry, that's Damini.

And that's Mr. Bose.

Nice to meet you, Damini.

I am Shashank Bose.

Anjana's newest nemesis,

foe, adversary.

-Maybe even an arch enemy? -Oh, c'mon!

Nice to meet you too, Mr. Bose.

Wait a minute. This is blasphemous!

Don't tell me they conned you into these lame-ass champagne martinis!

Is this the point where you'll suggest the real martini...

we should be drinking?

Of course! That's what I'm here for.

Excuse me. Hi.

Two dry gin martinis, please.

A wash of vermouth and olives on the side.

Ladies.

What was that?

What was what?

Fireworks, lights, heat.

Dee, he's married.

That's his wife right there.

Sushmita Sengupta is his wife?

Ya.

She's a power broker.

The CEO of West Comm.

If you keep staring at her like that,

she might just spontaneously combust.

Don't be ridiculous.

There was a fire burning here

about a minute ago.

And it wasn't because of me.

Are you crazy? I just told you he's married and...

I broke up with Arjun like a month ago?

So, have some shame.

Sure. If you say so.

But...

you didn't say no to him for a drink.

I drink once a week.

Might as well make it a good one, right?

-Right. Cheers to that. -Cheers!

What's going on, Hormonal?

All by yourself today.

Ya, my friends are all busy.

Are you nervous without them?

Not one bit. I am the real Lady Gaga.

I'm used to going up on stage and performing for a crowd.

Chill. I was just showing concern.

-Shit. I forgot. Seven times four... -What are you doing? Vocal exercise?

No. Just babbling the tables of seven.

Friendly advice.

Never bring math into the equation.

Did you get it?

Nice one.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

where's the peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked?

What the fuck is that?

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

where's the peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked?

Say it.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Where's the peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked?

Where's the peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked?

-Simple. -Ya. Now faster.

If Peter Patter... Shit! Sorry. Wait.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

-where's the peck of pickled peppers... -Peter Piper picked?

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

Okay, so now...

I'm going to be needing a volunteer from the audience.

You!

I have so much time to waste that I'm here watching your stupid show.

Tell me. What do you need?

I don't know. A magic show?

I can make those sides disappear.

Wow.

Why don't I make you disappear?

#bodyshamer

#terribleterriblejoke

Why don't you raise the standard of your show?

I'm not that good a magician yet.

Wait. What?

You're not a magician?

Which means you haven't hypnotized these people?

You're trying to tell me that

all these people here are voluntarily watching your rotten show!

Only a rotten crowd will watch a rotten show.

That was a joke, guys!

So are you going to join me or not?

Nope.

Just going to shout insults at you from here.

Way more fun.

No one is brave enough to take on the government.

Everyone's scared shitless.

You know what. Fuck them.

I'll go indie.

The big boys don't have the guts.

Maybe the indie publishers will.

I'll give them a book that will take them mainstream.

No?

Who do you think are the...

best indie publishers?

I still can't believe how entitled these big guys are.

What?

Big City Books, Bombastic Publications.

Millennial Books.

Why does the word "millennial" feature everywhere?

Hey, look at this.

Yuvanta.

That young writer Rana Sen? Whose book was banned?

They've published it.

You should try them.

Stop being so nice and helpful.

Why?

Because you're making my lady parts

grow less lustful and more loving.

The vagina doesn't do that.

The brain does.

Thanks, doctor.

Put this away.

Come here.

So this Sumit...

Is he handsome?

Amit, Mom.

The two of you work together.

There must be some chemistry.

Mom, please. Don't start your matchmaking again.

Why are you so rigid?

Excuse me, ma'am. We are ready for you.

I'm having the deep tissue and she's having the full body wax.

What? Why?

One must always be prepared.

Ready.

Ma'am, please take off your robe, underwear and lie down.

Underwear?

What the hell was that, Mom!

It was worse than dental pain!

And why do I have to look like a bloody Chihuahua down there!

Your friends are all modern women.

Have they never told you to get a Brazilian wax?

That's how men like it.

If they like it then they should only do it.

You know when you become...

-When you start doing it... -Oh, my God.

Siddhi, I want to be your friend now, darling...

That's why I'm being frank.

When you become sexually active,

you have to cater to the sexual fantasies of your partner.

Okay bye, Mom. I'm done.

Your body is not your own anymore.

Mom!

My body will always be mine.

Thank you very much.

In fact, we don't ask the men to get Brazilians!

Fine. But if he doesn't get what he wants at home,

he'll go looking for it outside the house.

Very good. If he does that, he can also get out of the house.

If only it was that simple, Siddhi.

It's not that difficult either, Mom.

Cross the Sea Link. Get to Bandra Court.

You'll have six months of waiting period. And that's it.

Divorce granted. Done.

This stand-up comedy is making you a little too frisky.

I just think that why should only men have these sexual fantasies?

Women also have a right to them.

Tell me, Mom.

What's your sexual fantasy?

Stop it, Siddhi.

-Why? -Stop it!

-Aren't we friends? -Go away!

Did you just fart?

No.

I think it's him.

You know...

when you fart, do it freely.

Notice that?

That bald guy's head...

Doesn't it remind you of a rasgulla?

I'm craving one!

Damn!

Are you craving it?

Or him?

Are you swinging back the other way?

Never.

I'm also craving pizza.

I'm ravenously hungry after ages!

What kind of hunger?

You know, life is really fucked up.

Isn't it?

The day's most profound thought.

Brought to you by Her Holiness Samara Kapoor.

But it's not just life that's fucked up, right?

People are fucked up too. Look at me.

What about you?

Race you to the top?

-Ya. Okay! -C'mon.

-Ready. Set. Go! -Go!

-C'mon! No cheating! Let's go! -Go!

-Faster! Faster! -C'mon!

Faster!

-Such a cheater. -I know you can do it!

You know, Yuvanta Books is exactly the kind of home I want for Bloody February.

The kind of work you're publishing, it's so brave.

So out there, so avant-garde.

You understand political writing.

I loved Rana Sen's book.

Got banned though.

I know but that was explosive stuff.

Damini, I'm a huge fan of your work.

I used to follow all your stories on Investigator.com.

Just...

it was so awful what they did to you.

True but...

Were it not for that, I wouldn't be here.

Never would've written this book.

True. True.

So...

What are you writing next?

Shall we discuss Bloody February first?

Sure. Sure.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Damini.

I would love to read it. In fact, I can't wait to read it.

But...

I can't publish it.

Why not?

After Rana's case, we're already on the radar.

If I publish another controversial book, I'll be out of business.

I can't afford that.

Sorry.

And good luck.

This book will be published.

Read it on Kindle.

It'll be cheaper than the hard copy.

Thank you for your time, Zara.

I don't think you're getting me.

Let me get this right.

Ekalaya produced this fabric ten years back?

Correct.

So, in 2020, how can a designer sitting all the way out in Paris

steal a design that's ten years old?

There are design archives.

He must have seen it on the internet.

Or on one of his trips to India.

There are numerous possibilities.

My client is innocent. This is pure coincidence.

My client is right. This is pure plagiarism.

We'll see about that. I'm not going to back down from this, Anjana.

I wouldn't want you to back down.

Good to know.

I meant, we both need to bring our A game.

That's the only way this battle will be fun.

Fun to fight...

Ya.

It's getting late for the day.

You think we should adjourn maybe?

Yes. That's a good idea.

-Thanks for coming in. -Thank you. Thank you.

Yes! I mean, I do prefer the lawns mowed.

But my question is, there are lawns on both sides.

So why should only one gender have to mow it?

Because its trickier for us men, right?

What if something else gets mowed instead?

Imagine if the hair gets stuck in my trimmer!

But that's not fair.

Why should only women have to endure the hot burning wax?

Because it's easier to find the hot spots?

Please! You shouldn't even bother. It's just not your cup of tea.

Even if boys move around with Google Maps,

there's little hope of them finding the hotspots!

I get it. I'm twenty seven.

And even today, if I shave, I'll probably look like a fourteen year old.

I'm still asked to flash my ID at nightclubs.

Not exactly tall, dark, handsome and desirable. I accept that.

You're not that bad.

Wait. Are you saying you're interested?

No.

Thank you, guys! You've been a lovely audience!

Have a great night!

Oh my God!

-That was amazing! -Amazing!

That was like the best show ever!

I can't believe our fifth show is an actual blockbuster!

Do you realize we're like a legit super hit pair?

Like Varun-Alia, Ross and Rachel, Chuck and Blair and Amit and Siddhi!

I'm sorry.

I completely read that wrong.

I'm sorry. Can we just pretend that never happened?

Please?

Don't be awkward.

I'm sorry. I just misread the situation completely.

It's... it's fine.

You're a great girl. I like you.

Right.

And... you don't like me which is completely fine.

Wow. I'm such an idiot.

Can we just go get a drink and pretend like this never happened?

Ya? Can we please do that right now?

Amit, I was just...

I was just taken by surprise.

I mean, I had no clue that you...

you know...

C'mon, Sam. Ten thousand steps today.

Keep it up!

What's happening?

I'm ready to take the pills.

Are you sure?

I am.

I want to get better.

I'm tired of feeling that something's wrong and...

tired of feeling scared and like I'm not good enough.

I want to do this.

For you, for me, for us.

Ya.

Sounds like a good plan to me.

But you know we still have to do the ten thousand steps right?

You still have to run. All right?

Ten thousand steps! You don't get off that easy.

C'mon! Let's go!

Like this. Keep it up! Let's go! Just till there. Right there.

-Just shut up. Just hug me! -Okay.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

You just...

you look beautiful when you sleep.

Oh!

Okay then, I'll go back to sleeping so you can look at me.

Really?

Do you like my sexy, sleeping vest?

Or my...

striped boxers?

Don't I look like a prisoner on the run?

Like totally irresistible?

No?

How dare you laugh in my prison, woman!

Come here. I'm going to punish you for your bad behavior.

I have no clue what you said but...

I really like the way that you said it.

Is that so?

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