All language subtitles for Evet, ich will! aka Evet, I do (2008)

There will be a wedding.

That's nice.
ls it my wedding?

It's not mine.
I'm already married.

Dirk, you haven't told
your parents, have you?

You know them.
They're against commitment.

And you?
--Me?

I don't have anything against marriage.
-But?

We should
finish our studies first.

How long does that take?
-Four years.

Including an internship.
-Four years?

Ataturk conquered half of Europe,
founded a republic,

and re-formed the alphabet
in four years.

And you can't even marry one woman.

Dirk, should I tell your parents?
I'd do that.

Morning! I'm Coskun.
-l'm GUnay.

We want to hear from you.

Have you ever proposed
or been proposed to?

The prize for the most original story

is a romantic vacation for two
on the beautiful Rǘgen Island.

Has anyone ever proposed to you, Gǘnay?
-No, not yet.

My boyfriend still hasn't proposed
and this week is our 4th anniversary.

He's either blind, mute
or not too smart.

I think it's a mixture of all three.

Helga,

Lǘder
we need to talk.

Not now,
the market closes soon.

But it's urgent.

Come to the market with us.

Gunay?
~Yes?

You know l like you a lot.

Yes?

I love you
like the French love their baguettes,

like the Japanese their sushi, and
like the German-Turks love

their doner kebabs.
-Yes?

Hand me
the French baguette?

The French baguette!

Yeah...

Because you're so kind,
so pretty,

so captivating, so warm-hearted...
I could go on and on!

Because you're all those things,

I want to ask you...

if you want
to have grandchildren with me?

Up until now, you've always said yes.
There's no need to expand your vocabulary.

Yes, there is.

Yes, I do.

Yes?

Yes?

Yes!

But why, Dirk?

Lǘder and I have been together
since you were born.

And we feel happy and free
because we're not married.

Whenever I want, I can say,

Ciao, that's it.

And than we're separate individuals.

That goes for you, too.

But some people are married
and still feel free.

That's true.
-Listen, Dirk.

What happens when you
desire another woman someday?

Turkish women
aren't that free.

Since when were you
an expert on Turkish women?

Because I keep my eyes open.

Do you understand?

Dad, I want to marry her
whether she's Kurdish or Turkish!

The Kurdish are unbelieving communists!
Forget it!

Find a Kurd
like Zeliha did.

But I fell in love with her!

Anyway, that was an arranged marriage.
-So?

We get along just fine.
-Sis, you've been married three months!

Dad, just make the phone call.
-Forget it!

Find yourself a Kurdish girl.

Can I have the cleaver?
-Okay, you finish up.

Dad,

call and tell him,
or I'll chop my finger off!

I'll do it!
I'll chop my finger off!

Do you understand me?

Hello, Beyoglu.

Kadir Bey?
Hello, this is Coskun's father.

Who?
-Coskun, Coskun.

His father.
How are you?

Good, good.

My son Kadir wanted

to speak about a holy matter...

You can't keep it secret forever.

Stefan proposed to Martin
on the radio this morning.

But that's not really romantic, is it?

I promise
I'll be more discreet.

Dad,

I'm taking another 50 out of the till.
-50 is too much.

Take 30.
Write it down!

Thanks.
-You're welcome.

How did you propose?
-l was in Saudi Arabia.

It was love at second sight.
-At second sight?

Why not at first sight?

She had a headscarf on.
-ls it your first time in Germany?

Is it your first time in Germany?

Yes, I'm visiting family.
-Yes, he's visiting.

Looking for a wife so you can stay?
-My uncle will find me a pretty woman.

God willing, God willing.

Here's my suitcase.
-ls that so?

When he's found you a pretty woman,

maybe he can find me one, too.
-God willing.

Good luck to you.
-Thanks. Good bye.

Listen to this.

Ready?

Yup.
-Here goes.

Where'd you find this?
-That's not your present.

Let's see...
-That's great.

This is your present.

Splash!

Cheers, sweetheart.

Emrah...

Will you marry me?

Will you be my husband?

Of course I want to marry you.
I love you.

But you know that I can't.
-I know.

All that matters is that you want to,
and I do, too.

You know what?

I'm going to help you
come out.

Berlin is huge.

Find a wife.
You know how important it is.

Uncle is looking.
I miss you all very much.

We miss you, too.
-Has the mayor's daughter married yet?

Listen to me! I am gonna shit in your
mouth and then in hers. Understood?

I'm only
thinking of the mayor.

Well,
if you don't find yourself a wife,

find yourself a new mother.

It's enough. It's getting expensive.

I'll call you later, Mum.

Remember the German chocolate
for your grandpa.

I will.

Your parents are the only people
who still think money

grows on trees here.
How much?

1.20 please.

One euro and 20 cents.

It's OK.

Why did your father hang up?
lthought he liked me.

Your family is the problem.
He just thinks they're too religious.

I can't re-educate my whole family!
-I don't need my father's blessing.

But I want my dad's blessing
so I need your dad's blessing.

Invite them over.
I'll handle the rest.

I'll never get my family over there.

My Waldorf uncle is a good mediator.
You convince your family to come over.

Well, they're not exactly rich.
-They have land in Anatolia.

That's where
your Kurdish ancestors come from,

but what do you know
of your homeland?

Can you hold that, Grandpa?

Gǘnay,
can you open the door in a second?

__ Do we need gas?
Ozlem hates it when people are late.

I didn't think the Turks cared about that.
-('Ȍzlem does.

It's old-fashioned
to ask for her hand in marriage.

It's the Turkish way.

I'll be glad too when it's done.
-Need anything?

Get some green tea.
The Turks won't have green tea.

Tea bags or...
-You can buy it ready-made in a canon.

Please.
-Oh, yeah. I'll take a look.

What about you?
-I want to leave as quickly as possible.

I'll hurry up, Dirk.

Why are you doing this?
-I want to marry Coskun.

Why are you doing this?

She just wants you to talk to them.

Now, ask them in.
-I told them on the phone not to come!

No, you didn't! You hung up!
-That's right. Now they're here.

Don't be impolite.

I raised you to be free, so I'm not going to
just hand you over to these fundamentalists!

If I'm that free then I can marry who I want!
-You can,

just not these Taliban!
-No!

Stay right there!
It's now or never.

They'll open the door in a second.

Hello. Don't worry,
it's not what it looks like.

We're rehearsing a play.

Aren't you from Radio Orange?

Yeah, that's right.

Welcome.

Please, come in.

Ȍzlem's parents aren't allowed to find out
we've been together for a year.

You can't marry someone
you don't know.

We've known each other for two weeks.
We met at the university.

But do we know she also studies law?
-Yes, we met because we both study law.

Now, the most important thing...
-Luder, please not in the car.

You could have smoked earlier.
-We were at a gas station!

Excuse me, can I go on?
-Sure, Dirk.

So,
at some point,

I'm not really sure when,

you ask for Ȍzlem's hand for me.
-Okay.

Lǘder

you say, "With Allah's permission
and the consent of our prophet,

we ask for the fiend
of your daughter Ozlem."

And then we just see what happens.

Do I have to say, "our prophet,"
or can I say, "your prophet?"

But, they love each other.

Nothing can change that, so let's try

and find a solution.

He could easily love another girl,

a girl from a respectable family.

Then it looks like we're agreed.

Fine.
Now please leave.

Fine, we're going.

I want nothing
to do with these unbelievers.

Sit down!

We want to get married!

We're going to solve this
once and for all!

Have you lost your mind?
-Everything's fine.

I've got it under control.
-Coskun,

violence is never the answer.

The meat is really spicy.
Can Tim eat spicy food?

YUP-

Emrah?

I know how you can come out.

What, right now?
-Yes, at dinner.

My grandpa is here.
-That's okay.

Then your parents
won't complain as much.

Kadir,

imagine if Antje was here.

I think she'd
want you to agree.

Kadir!
I can just pack my things and go.

I'm trying to solve this peacefully.

How do we do it?

Listen up.

It sounds tough
but we have to do it.

I count to three during dinner,

and then we kiss.

When her dad comes back
we'll discuss it.

Hello.
Are the illegal Kurds here?

They're not illegal,
they just shouldn't be in my flat.

So they're in this flat illegally?
-They're not here illegally!

I invited them!
-One of them is armed! Come in.

Shit.

Stay here, please.

Drop the gun!

Nothing will happen to you.
I said, drop the gun!

It's fake!
-Give him the gun, please.

Give my colleague the gun.

I see great happiness.

There are the roses...

the raki bottles...

and here is the half-chicken.

There will be a wedding!

See'?
Huh! you

that you would find a wife in Germany,
you pessimist.

Thank you. What do we owe you?
-No, no money. When you marry,

you can buy the wedding dress from me.
-Of course.

Thank you again.

Is she pretty?

We're over 20 minutes late!

Her family isn't exactly rich.

They own two flats in Turkey.
Isn't that good enough?

You can't compare
apples and oranges, Dirk.

What are you doing, Helga?

In case you forgot,
we're visiting a Turkish family.

ljust want to fit in.

If only you had grown a moustache,
we would have fitted in perfectly.

Police are always
in minority neighbourhoods.

Oh, God!

I thought Germans were usually punctual.

I don't know what's up either.

Do you really want to marry a German?
- What's that about now?

Sǚrǚndǚmǚ.

They're almost all Muslim here.

Dirk, wait!

Come on, we're late.
-lt's important. I've been thinking.

I must...
and I will say, "your prophet."

It's their prophet,
and not ours.

Is that okay?

It's densely populated
in your homeland too, isn't it?

But you have a nice place.

What's that, Ozlem?
-lt's a refreshing tonic for the hands.

Okay.
ls it a Turkish tonic?

That's right.
-All right.

Thank you, Ozlem.
Thank you very much.

Oh, thank you.

It smells like cologne.
-That's pretty much what it is.

No!
Thanks.

So, how was the drive?
Was it hard to find?

No, no.

Dirk knows the way very well.

No, Ozlem, I don't know the way well,
but we had to stop and get gas.

Please excuse us for being late.

I asked them if they
found the house easily.

Ozlem,

why is his mother
wearing a headscarf?

I don't know.

In our village, when someone
wanted to marry a woman at all costs

and the parents were against it,

do you know what we did?

Grandpa, you didn't have this problem.
You were all Kurds.

But Grandma was a Turk,

and she lived in the next village.

We rode into the town
with daggers and rapiers

and kidnapped her.

That was the custom.

But what do you know about Batman?

This Turkish coffee is delicious.

The last time we had Turkish coffee,
we were in Turkey.

We're glad.
-What did she say?

That she's been to Turkey
and that she likes our coffee.

Tell her that we're glad.
-I did.

Good.
-What did your mother say?

That she's also glad that you were in
Turkey and that you like our coffee.

We're glad she's glad.

Excuse me, where is your bathroom?
-l'll show you.

Your father's not saying anything!
-My father?

I thought your dad would bring it up.
-No, listen.

Your dad says
he's here about a holy matter,

and asks for my hand right away.
-Okay, okay. I'll tell him.

I love you.
-I love you too.

But ask, will you?
-The bathroom?

Right there.
-Thanks.

I'm glad that you're glad
that you're marrying into that family.

Hello Sulbiye.
-I have your dad's tax returns.

We have visitors.
They're asking for Ozlem's hand.

Ozlem is getting married?
I'm happy for her.

She is beautiful.
-She's marrying her German boyfriend.

Then I won't keep you.
Tell her that I'm really envious.

You wouldn't want to marry that bore!
It's nothing to be envious of.

I'd better go. Bye!
-Okay, bye.

If you're not that boring,
how come you're still single?

Would you like another rib?
-No thanks, Mrs. Yildirim,

I'm full.

Have another, Tim.
-No thanks, I'm finished.

Was it too spicy?

Excuse me?
-Are your lips burning?

No.
It was delicious.

That's the face we made
when we wanted a girl to kiss us.

The very same face.

Helga'_)
~Yes?

I'm going to ask.

I'm supposed to ask because I'm the man.
-lt's okay,

Just ask them now.

So...

Ozlem?
-Yes?

Could you translate this
into Turkish for your parents?

Yes.

Ozlem, what did he say?

They want to ask now.

I'll talk, then you can
translate the whole thing, okay?

Yes, Mr. Heidenreich.
-Good.

First of all...

Did I say it right?

Not really.
I'm sure you meant "Bismillah."

Okay, not "mittach" but "millah."

I was sure it was "mittach."

Bismillah.
- R I g ht.

Okay, “Bismillah?

Bismillah.

So, Ozlem...

We...
I mean, Helga and I,

we're Dirk's parents.
Dirk came to us a week ago

and told us...

that he met a girl
at his university...

who he would like to marry.

I admit we were
a little sceptical at first.

But...

we told ourselves...

we shouldn't get in the way
of two people in love.

That's why we came here
to talk about

a holy matter.

Apologise to our guests for us.

We're going to pray.
-I will, Dad.

They're going to pray
and come right back.

My father never misses a prayer.

You almost did it. Next time leave out
all the extra shit and just say,

"With Allah's permission", like I said!
-Don't get nasty.

Dear God, please help Turkey be
accepted into the EU.

Then my whole family and I...

and Ayca can come to Germany.

Bismillah,
in the name of God Almighty.

God, hopefully Turkey
won't become pan of the EU.

Because if it does,
millions of them will come here.

May He answer your prayer.
-May He answer your prayer.

Ozlem?
-Yes?

I have a question.

When I say, "With Allah's permission we
ask for your daughter's" and all that,

should I say "our prophet,"
or "your prophet"?

Do you understand the question?
-Yes, yes.

You have to say "our prophet."
-But why?

Because my parents assume
that Dirk will convert to Islam.

But Dirk and I have talked about that.
-You're converting?

Mum, it's just a formality.

Today I'm Muslim,
we'll see about tomorrow.

I'll still be the Dirk
you know and love.

Since when is religion
important in our family?

I'm afraid we've stumbled
into a religious war.

The fortune-teller said
he'll find a wife.

She has a good job
at internal revenue.

It's a respectable family.

I could set up a time
for them to meet.

If he gets married...

he can work and send his family money
so we don't have to anymore.

Is she pretty?

Aren't all God's creatures pretty?

May Allah answer your prayers.

Ozlem, what did he say?

May Allah answer your prayers.

Thanks.

Mr. Komurcu,

we are here with the permission of Allah
and the consent of...

a prophet...

of you Muslims

to ask for the hand
of your daughter Ozlem.

Dad, with Allah's permission
and the consent of our prophet...

they ask for my hand.

What do they want with your hand?

Just a joke.
You don't have to translate that.

What did your father say?

He has to think for a second.

Has the groom convened to Islam?

Yes, he has.

Is he circumcised as well?

You don't really want me

to ask him that, do you?

What did he say?

Can you ask your father
why Dirk has to convert to Islam?

L will in a second.
-He asked if Dirk is circumcised.

He's not circumcised and
it's going to stay that way.

Helga, calm down please.

I'm not now, but intend to do it.
-What?

TUlay, ask him why Dirk
has to convert to Islam. Why?

She is asking
why he has to convert to Islam.

Children are raised
in the father's religion.

That's why it's good
if the father is Muslim.

Is the groom circumcised or not?

Not yet, but he intends to do it.

My father says that
if Dirk is a Muslim too,

then we can raise the children
Muslim and Christian.

TUlay, can you help me in the kitchen?

TUlay,
if you're trying to break us up,

I'll show our parents the personal ads
you put on the internet!

What did I do?
I was just translating.

Ask your father if you have a son, would
my grandson have to be circumcised?

Helga, we can talk about this later,
not now.

I want to clarify this now.
Later might be too late!

But I don't want
to clarify it now,

damn it!
-Calm down, Dirk.

It's important that we stay calm.

Listen,

I'm asking for you, not for me!
-Don't ask for me!

Just leave me alone!

I'm old enough and I can
do without your perverse philosophy.

Are you ever going
to get that into your head?

I got it.

Then you don't
need me right now either.

Good bye, Ozlem.
Good bye.

I'm sorry.
Please stay.

You don't get it at all.

You clarify basic life views
before marriage,

not afterwards.

Ozlem?

Why did she go?
-To get something from the car.

Dirk,
maybe I should...

I should go.

I'm sorry it went so badly.

Ozlem,

I thank you and your family
for your hospitality. Goodbye.

Ozlem,
why is he going now?

I'm sorry.

I'll call you.

Ozlem, can you tell us
what's going on here?

I don't get it.

Why is it so important
that he converts to Islam?

Why is it so important
if he's circumcised or not?

If the children
get circumcised or not?

Why is that any of your business?

Always these
ridiculous religious questions!

Can you tell rne why they're always
more important than everything else?

TUlay,
feel free to translate that.

Morning.
Did you oversleep?

Where are you?
-My liberal dad locked me in.

He's losing his mind!

So, you overslept.

No!
He actually locked me in the flat!

Why'?
-He thinks Kurdish fundamentalists like you

will kidnap the bride.

Just a second.

Good morning, Melanie.
How were you proposed to?

It was a rainy Thursday in July...

A rainy Thursday! That's a first!
Thanks, Melanie.

Listen, sweetie.

That's just what I'm going to do.
No lock can stop me.

This one might.
I've tried everything.

We'll come with daggers
and free you!

Besiktas have a game tonight.
My dad is going to my uncle's.

Okay,
then I'll see you tonight.

I love you.
-I love you too.

It won't work.
-lt'll be obvious when he sees it.

He won't think I'm gay.
-Why else would you have such a thing?

A friend of the family.
-Cool.

It's not cool.
It sucks!

How are you, Hakan?
-Good, and you?

I'm good, too.

Did he see her?
-I parked right in front of him.

Can you take a look at my wheel bearing?
-Right away.

Shit, he saw it.

Come here, Emrah.

Yes, Dad?
-ls this yours?

Yes, it's Emrah's.

I can't believe it.
It's a gay magazine.

They're always pulling pranks on me.
Know what they did last time?

They put a dildo on my desk!
-A what?

Always a prankster!
Now finish that car!

We were the same
at his age.

They're not exactly rich.

They have a big house in Turkey.
-And here they live in a cement block?

They have a house in Turkey
and a vacation house on the coast.

The daughter
works at the internal revenue.

The son
is training to be a baker.

The family
will never be without bread.

I'm only learning
how to bake German bread.

Here comes the beautiful bride.

Welcome.

Dear God,
let that be the cleaning lady.

It wasn't pan of the deal.

You said I had to convert,
but not that I had to get circumcised.

It's just a little piece of skin
without any function.

I think I should be the one
to decide if it has a function or not.

You're so ignorant.
-l'm ignorant?

Yes.
-Are you nuts?

Have you noticed that my parents and I
aren't asking anything of you?

Fine, then ask something of me.

I want to keep my foreskin.
I don't expect you

to be a virgin, after all.
-You can't. I lost my virginity to you.

If it's too much for you, then forget it.
-l'm only saying

that it's really complicated.

Then find yourself a German.
-l'm sorry. That's not what I meant.

You didn't even manage
to propose to me!

That's what every woman wants,
no matter what her nationality!

Uncle...
-What is it?

Could we get some fresh air?

Want a glass of water?

No thanks.
ljust need to get some fresh air.

We'll be right back.

It's all the excitement.

We don't need to go outside.
I need to talk to you.

What's wrong?
-How can I say this?

I want to stay here,
but I don't love her

and I will never love her.

I knew it.
It's my fault,

for promising your mother
I'd find you a wife.

Uncle, then we'll do this:

I'll go back and wait
until Turkey is in the EU.

Then go back.
What are you going to do in Turkey?

It's what's inside that matters,
not what's on the outside.

But appearance matters too.

Your aunt used to be pretty.

Now her ass and belly
have merged into one!

But how can I
make children with her?

You only have to sleep with her
one time per child.

He has low blood pressure.
He's feeling much better now.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

If you don't mind,
I'll check on the tea.

If you don't mind,
we'll check on the tea, too.

What's wrong with him?
-Nothing's wrong.

He doesn't like her. If he married her
he'd get a three year residence permit.

I tell you, they're frauds.

He'd leave her after three years
and find a new wife.

Do you really want to marry my daughter,
or do you just want to stay in Germany?

He wants to marry her.

Only under one condition.

What would that be?

Let us speak frankly.

If he marries her,
he can stay here.

Why not just discuss
a mock marriage?

A mock marriage?
-Exactly.

When you're married for three years
you get a divorce,

and you can stay in Germany.

Let's do it like that, Uncle.

What amount did you have in mind?

50,000 euro.
-Sorry?

You heard me.
50,000 euro.

How much is that in Turkish Lira?
-Stay out of it, Salih.

Are you pulling our leg?

You have a nerve!
Do you know how much 50,000 euro is?

Get a hold of yourself!

Let's calm down
and talk about this.

Yes, let's talk about it.

How much were you thinking?

You know very well

that the fee for that
is usually between 5,000 and 10,000.

There's no discussion.
You can pay or leave.

Who do you think you are, anyway?

A princess?

What about 20,000?
-20,000?

Do you think I'm stupid?

I'm supposed to pay 20,000
for this whale?

My sister's not a whale!

That's enough.
Get out! Out!

Come on, let's go.

Are you nuts?
You'll never marry anyway!

We could've used that money
for your brother's wedding!

That's enough!
Leave her alone!

My visa is running out.
I'll go back.

You don't like any women.

It's not my fault I don't love her.
-You could learn to love her.

That never would've happened with her.
-Why?

I want a pretty woman.
-You keep saying that!

Do you think that all pretty women
are just waiting around

for a poor Turkish farmer
to come and marry them?

Yuksel, leave the motor running.

But people will notice.

It's a great car. lt starts right up.
Listen.

Satisfied?
-Okay, then leave it off.

Boskin, the tool?
-The same as your grandpa back then.

Yuksel, the time?

Same time your grandpa did it back then.
-Okay, knock it off!

Kick-off is in ten minutes.

She knows we're kidnapping her, right?
-Of course. Let's go.

Okay.
-Good luck, boys.

Coskun?
Wait, ljust thought of something.

What?

She's been trying to open the door
the whole time, right?

So what?

I bet it's a really big, solid door
with a fat lock, right?

So what?

Why don't we just call a locksmith?
-Bingo.

Born in Batman.

But there's no German address.
-Really?

Do you both live here?
-No, that's my cousin.

We need to get in because we're
missing the Besiktas game.

Don't you have another ID?
-Nothing with an address on it.

Then I'll just have to...

ask your neighbour.

I've had it!
We're calling another locksmith.

You actually think
we'd want to rob this flat?

I'm sorry, but I need to be sure.

So,
should I ask them?

No!
-Listen,

Turkish people live in there,
and we're Kurdish.

We don't get along so well.

Turks and Kurds are a bit...

It's terrible what's going on there,

in Iraq.

I hardly ever do this,

but I'm going to open your door.

Excuse me.

What are you doing?
-Good evening.

I know you don't
get along politically,

but these two men don't have ID...
-lt's for you.

H el lo?
- Sullbiye, it's Gǘnay.

Listen, every-thing's fine.
He's my boyfriend.

He's kidnapping me.
-What is he doing?

He's kidnapping me!
-Oh.

I'll explain later.

I have your dad's tax returns.

Yeah, yeah.
Bring them over later. Bye!

Okay, bYe-

Do you know
if these men live in this flat?

Yes,
they live there.

They forgot their keys.
-But ljust heard someone in there.

No, you didn't.
-Yes I did.

Hello? Anyone there?
Can you hear me?

Could you please just open the door?

I knew it!

Do you mind telling me what kind of
weird situation you've gotten me into?

Just because she's fat
you won't marry her?

I'll break every bone in you body,
you son of a donkey!

Wait,
your father wants to speak to you.

Hello, Father.
How are you?

Quiet, you moron.
When you get here

I'll smash your pea brain into mush!

Wait, your grandpa wants to talk to you.
Here, Father.

Hello, Grandpa.
How are you?

I'm good.
Your parents are very worried.

Marry a woman there
even if she's a bit fat.

And don't forget my chocolate.

Welcome to freedom.
-Hi, Yuksel.

It really worked!

Fuck!

Wait, wait!

What are you doing?
-l'm marrying Coskun.

Mr. Beyoglu, I'm just as liberal as you.
Gǘnay is marrying me, not my family.

If you leave now,

don't bother ever coming back.

Drive!

There was a study that said
circumcised men hold out longer.

I don't know if it's true.

Are you saying
that I should get circumcised?

I'm just telling you about a study.

That means Muslims
hold out longer than Christians.

Maybe it's a Muslim study,

or American.
85% of them are circumcised.

__ Listen up.
Ozlem doesn't care.

She just wants to please her dad.
Now you tell me about some study.

If I'm allowed to have a say
about my foreskin, I'd say

we live together in harmony.

We'll sell them an apple for an orange.
-What?

Sell them an apple
for an orange...

and maybe throw in a pear.

What kind of a
delicate photo job?

Are you circumcised?

15 euro per photo. And you'll only
show them to her father,

then return them to me.

I'd better not see them on the internet!
I'll press charges.

My boyfriend studies law,
my mate, I mean.

Don't worry, we're only
going to show them to her father.

I took pictures from all sides,
but it's limp.

Don't you think
it'd be easier to see if it was erect?

No, it's clear enough, Luder.
Look.

Thanks, Emrah.

What is it?
-I just thought of something.

Emrah?
Do you have a sense of humour?

Yes, why?

Dirk?

This photo here is no turkey.

I mean,
it was made for Turks and...

and Emrah, you're a Turk,
yet it's no turkey!

Could you take a photo for me?
-Sure.

Something like this?

Well, go ahead.

Then what happened?
- He sent up a balloon

that said,
"Please say yes" on it.

Was it a hot air balloon?
-No, just a normal balloon.

That's even more romantic.

Thank you very much.
-You're welcome.

How do you think up
such great stories?

It's my hobby.

May something so romantic
happen to us.

God willing.

Hello.
-Hello, can I help you?

Unfortunately, I have...

a problem.

Tell me.

I don't know how to say it...

I have to stay in Germany
at any cost.

Do you have a granddaughter
who isn't married yet?

I'm sorry, but they're all married.
You'll have to ask someone else.

I will. Thank you for your time.
God bless you.

That's not necessary.

Sorry, l think it has
something to do with the surroundings.

It's okay.

lthought... lthought maybe
you were already circumcised.

I am»

but only on paper.

That's proof enough
for your dad, right?

Is this a picture of a Turk?
-Yes.

One small snip for him,
one giant step for us.

Bismillah.

I know...

people who love each other
speak volumes to each other...

without words, actually.

And I'm not a man of big speeches.

Actually...

Normally,

I'd be silent now, too.

I want to marry you.

If you will take me
as your husband till death do us pan,

then answer me in German...

or Turkish,
with "yes."

Or Turkish-German?

German-Turkish?
Turkish-German.

Ever, I do.

Your dad didn't mean it.

He loves you.
-He can be so stubborn!

My grandpa said that your dad
will forgive you in two weeks.

That's how it was
back in Batman, at least.

What did the kidnapped girl do
when she missed her family?

L read that only 38% of people in Turkey
want Turkey to join the EU.

I wonder what
percent of Turks in Germany...

You know, our parents
didn't want you to marry Antje either.

Then what happened, huh?

After they met Antje they loved her more
than they loved you and me!

And when she died they mourned her
at least as long as you did.

And all we have left of Antje

is your daughter,
GUnay.

Now she's fighting for her love,

and you're getting in the way!

Who is she, anyway?
Do I know her?

The hairdresser who
came to the garage with her dad.

She should marry someone else,
not you.

L think my father
already knows about us.

So, it's better if I just marry her.
-No, it's not, Emrah!

My parents would stop hassling me
about marriage, I'd get the garage

and we wouldn't have to break up.

How am I supposed to be with you
when you're married to a woman?

Tell me,
you're the student...

Why did God make me gay?

So that we could get married.

Listen up,

if you marry her,
I'm gone.

The person you are calling
is unavailable.

Please leave
your name and number.

Your call will be returned
as soon as possible.

Tim?

ljust realised
how much I really love you.

Emrah!

The family has money

and Emrah will inherit the garage.
It's a successful business.

Make it short;
the guests will be here soon.

Hello?

It's me. How are you?
- Good!

Aren't you working today?
-No! What do you want?

We have to talk about the baby.

I'm going to abort it, Eric.

No, please wait.

It'd be a sin to abort it,
it's our baby!

I know,

but I have no choice!

I made an appointment and I'm doing it.
- No. I have a say too.

I'm coming over to talk with you.
-No, you're not coming here!

Yes I am. See you soon.
- Eric!

I'm sure they have a house in Turkey.

No, they have no house,
no vacation house,

not even fields in Anatolia.

Then she can always cut our hair.

Yes, she can.

She can give you
a proper haircut for once.

Look at that hair cut.

The nice thing about it is that
she can take her job to Turkey, right?

Of course. She's the hairdresser
for the whole family in Turkey.

What are you doing there?

We moved apartments.

I didn't know that. Why?
-We had tonnes of moths in the flat.

Leave some for me.

Did you find a wife?
-No, I'm flying back soon.

That's a shame, but I saw
great joy in your future.

Germans have a saying:
Unlucky in love, lucky in games.

I wanted to ask you something...

Can you tell me when
Turkey will be pan of the EU?

In the paper
it said not before 2020.

But that's just the newspaper.
What do you say?

2030.

2030?

We have dined together.

You're welcome.
-Let's get to the matter at hand.

With Allah's permission and the

consent of our prophet,
we want your daughter for our son.

Nursel, what do you think?

You know each other now.

Is it something you can imagine?
-If my father finds him worthy.

What can I say?

As her father I have but one duty
and that is to announce them as engaged.

We wish them all the best.

What's wrong, Son?
What's wrong with you?

Stop crying.
What will pretty Nursel think?

Get a hold of yourself!

Emrah,
do you love...

someone else?

You should be ashamed.

Do we know her?

There's a picture.
That's all I have to say.

But it's not romantic.
-Sulbiye,

when you wake up
because you hear something ticking

and you realise
it's not your alarm clock,

then you stop caring
if it's romantic or not.

Him?
-I don't believe it!

I know him!
-What?

You know him?
From where?

He helped kidnap GUnay.

“Boskin.
41, businessman, no children."

Write to him.

What should I write?

Come on, write to him!
You write so well.

Write him a poem.
Sometimes that works for men too.

Hello?
-l'm here to see Nursel.

Nurse! doesn't live here.

Are you looking for Nursel Usta?

Yes, that's her.

Open it.

Do you see why he cried?

No.
It's just a picture of his friend Tim.

Tim?
-Yeah.

Can I see?
-Sure.

Is this a detective novel?

Inspector, did you find anything?

Yes, I have.

What is it?

He's...

gay.

What does "gay" mean?

These men don't love women.
-Then what do they love?

These men love men.
-Be careful what you say.

Let him continue.
-They say they have an organ defect

and that's why they love men.

Then a doctor should fix this organ.

And lthought

none of us Turks were gay.

Mr. Usta,

we're sorry,
we didn't know.

You don't need to apologise.

God's creatures
come in all shapes and sizes.

Let's go.

Who's there?
-Nobody. Maybe someone's downstairs.

Hello?
Anybody there?

A “mg...

A black...

God, what do you call them now?

He's from Africa.
-No one's there either.

Let's sit down.
I baked a cake.

Open the door.
I can hear you in there.

Nursel, who is that?
-lt's no one.

Please, Nursel.
We have to talk.

What do you want?
Can I help you?

Hello, Mr. Usta.

I need to speak to Nursel.
Nursel?

I don't know him.
-Stop that, Nursel. Let's talk.

Listen up, get lost!

We're together.
She knows me.

Nursel, be reasonable.
We're having a baby.

What?
She's having your baby?

Yes.

Go away!

Is it true that you're pregnant
with this black man's baby?

Come on!

One doesn't hit
such a beautiful woman

who carries a child under her heart.

I'm sorry.
We didn't know.

Come in.

Get in.

Did you have to humiliate us in front
of everyone, you son of a bitch?

And?
Does this mean you're gay?

Or were you just pretending
because you don't want to marry her?

You don't kiss any women,
you only kiss Tim?

Instead of making love with women,

you make love with Tim?

Answer!

Yes.

My father didn't turn gay,
I didn't turn gay,

and then you go
and turn gay!

Can you explain that?

It wasn't my choice.

Your organ is completely broken,
young man.

Hello.
-Hello.

Are you sending chocolate to Turkey
or are you trying to win the car?

Can you win a car
with chocolate in Germany?

Look, you have to scratch this off.
If there are three cars, you've won.

Did l win anything?

I don't believe it!

You really have won the car!

What?

Look, there are three cars!
-Yes.

You won the car.
Congratulations!

Did I really win a car?
-Yes.

I have my very own car?

Once Ȍzlem's father sees the photo,
that'll be the end of it.

But honesty is
the foundation of marriage!

You didn't want me circumcised!
-I didn't want you to convert, but now

you must face the consequences.
-It doesn't matter.

What about the results of that study?
-You know how we feel about studies.

Yeah, but maybe it's true.

We have another candidate.
Who am I speaking to?

Hello,

my name is Kadir.

Hello Kadir.
How did you propose?

I would like to tell you...

about my daughter's wedding proposal.

I'm sure...

that she's listening.

I never told my daughter...

that my Turkish parents...

didn't want me...

to marry a German woman.

But I fought for my love...

and it was worth it.

For me she was
the most wonderful woman in the world.

And now I want to...

...give my daughter courage...

so that she also fights
for what she believes in...

and doesn't listen to her father.

I want to tell her
that I adore her for that,

and that I hope
she will be just as happy...

as I was with my wife.

Thank you, Kadir. I think your daughter
is very proud of you today.

And I'm sure
that she adores you, too.

Thank you.

What's that?
lthought it was a radio.

No, that's called a navigator.

You type in the street and the car
brings you there automatically.

Super.

But will it work in our village?

The streets don't have names.
-I tell you what.

When Turkey is part of the EU,
it will work in your village.

With this car the mayor's daughter
will surely marry me.

God willing.
The mayor is well off.

And this song is for Kadir's true love,
Antje.

Although I don't like German music,

this piece is beautiful.

My grandfather once said,

"lf you can love the music of a country,
then you can love the country too."

Your father.

Hello?

We're together.

On the way to the airport.

You sound so strange.

Yes, I'll tell him.

What's wrong?

Tell me, Uncle!

What happened?

Your grandfather died last night.

Please send my love
to Grandma and Grandpa.

Hello!
We know each other.

Yes.

You live in the same house as GUnay.
-Yes.

Any chance you're
flying to Copenhagen, too?

We could drink a tea together
in the clouds.

No.
-That's a shame.

Oh well.
Then l wish you all the best.

Bye.

Bye.

I'm never getting circumcised again.
-Does it grow back?

I didn't ask!

Is that the certificate?

Yeah,
and it's the bill, too.

Shall we...
-Yes.

L think we deserve a reward.

Want an ice cream?
-Great idea.

I'm curious to see if Helga notices.

Get them to give you a certificate.

That's the hospital certificate.

He paid 84 euros for that?

Yes,
100 euros including tax.

Cheap.

What did your father say?

He's happy
that Dirk was circumcised.

We're glad that he's glad.

But what does he say
about the marriage?

Dad, they're waiting for an answer.

I want to talk to you both.

Dear listeners,
the time has come to pick...

the nicest
marriage proposal we received.

And here is the winner:

We were at a beautiful labyrinth
at the castle grounds.

Unsal and I lost each other inside.
He sent up a balloon...

First of all,

never, and I mean never,

do I want to see you kiss.

Yes.
-Secondly,

no Turks can find out.
You know how they are.

Thirdly, no customers can know,
understand?

Yes.
-Cars

and gays
just don't mix.

Greetings.

Hello.

I want you to come over again,

so we can discuss
the wedding properly.

Providing that you
treat us properly as well.

It's a deal.

But let me make one thing clear;

I don't want my daughter
to ever be forced

to wear a headscarf.
-We weren't planning to force her.

But if they have kids,
the kids should learn Kurdish.

Instead of Turkish,
or what do you mean?

No, as well as Turkish.
They'll need Turkish in Turkey.

They should learn German first,

if they live here.

They should learn to
speak better German than...

we do.
-Right.

But after German comes Kurdish.
-No, Turkish after German.

If anything else fits after that,
then Kurdish.

I think first they should get married
and have kids.

When shall we come over?

Saturday.

Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen,

please join rne in welcoming
the terrific bride and groom!

Hey, we know each other!
From Gǘnay and Coskun,

from the kidnapping and the airport.
-Yes.

They want to get married too.

Well, then I'll get back.

Next time, you have to buy me a drink.

"You've to buy me a drink?"
Sorry, that's inappropriate.

Maybe I'm too integrated.

Well, have a nice evening.

Bye.

Communicating with men
is not your forte, is it?

Oh, SUIbiye.
See, it's working.

We didn't get married because

the most important thing to Helga
was her freedom.

But her desire for freedom
became so strong

that it robbed her
of her freedom to make decisions.

That's why marriage
was never an option for Helga,

which I've learned to accept.

What did he say?
-That Helga never wanted to marry.

He talked so much, didn't he say why?
-No. I'd like to know too.

We have a surprise
for the bride and groom.

Lights out!
Spotlight on!

Yeah, no problem.

Give me five minutes.

DRINK?

See you in a second.

Hello.

Hello.

I'd love to take you up on the offer.

N ow?

First, I have

special mission
to attend to.

Maybe you can help me?

But you can't laugh.

Can you please learn two
Turkish words for me?

If I'm going to talk with your family,
I'll have to learn more than two words.

It's just for me, today.
Canim Benim.

Canim Benim.

Canim Benim.

What does it mean?

My life.

That sounds nice.

Okay, but where are we going?
-You have to guess!

Oh, man!

Is that Boskin?
-Yes.

Why is he wearing a Batman costume?

We're going to Batman?
-Yes!

To my hometown?
-Yes!

I haven't been there for 20 years!
-Exactly!

And your relatives
should meet your future wife.

Thanks Boskin.
-My pleasure.

Let's go!

That's my wife!

Have a nice evening you two.

Thanks guys.

Have a great vacation.

Stop!
My clothes are in the car! Stop!

Shit!

Crap!

It'd be a little awkward
to go for a drink like this.

Want to go for a walk...

somewhere dark?

Nazime,
why are you so quiet?

What should I say?

Tell me what you did today,
for example.

You were with me the whole day.

We're almost home,
then we can go to bed.

Did you like the wedding?
-Yes, there was even a belly dancer.

The only belly dancer
who doesn't dance with her belly.

That's a German belly dancer for you.

Nazime, everything on her moved
except her belly.

BABELFISCH TRANSLATIONS
Annie Grossjohann

MARLINA TRANSLATIONS
Mary Taybr, Angelina Taylor