Original subtitles

Men...

From time immemorial men have been called the crown of creation.

Men are hardworking, tidy, modest, lacking in vanity.

Men don't drink and are always faithful.

A special category of these wonderful creations of God are the husbands.

If one can trust their own words, they all are

noble, helpful, and good, and always really faithful.

Hey, wake up, lazybones.

Husbands-Report

XY-Unsolved. I think I got a new occupation.

A investigation firm is looking for three students

for discreet observations with very good payment.

A woman or an inspector?

Why do you want to quit our well-paid job at the institute?

Because it's boring to always ask the same questions.

What do you think of the currency? Will the

D-Mark stay stable? Is the German wife faithful?

Starting today you could do something about your depraved liaison.

The institute researches how bad husbands are.

I studied you. That's enough.

What is it?

Tastes like dishwater.

The coffee is so thin.

Most people don't think much of the fidelity of man. What do you think?

- A lot. - And you?

Of course, that's the basis of a happy marriage.

- Do you think your husband is faithful to you? - Yes. Why not?

Why are you so sure?

- Have you had an affair? - Of course.

- Are you faithful? - I hope so.

You hope? Can you imagine having an affair?

- Never thought about it. - No, I never ran away.

- Can you imagine having an affair? - Why not?

- So you had an affair? - Yes, occasionally.

- You had a girlfriend? - I can't tell you, well, no, not really.

But there are opportunities.

- You had an affair. - Always, always, always.

- What do you think? - Husbands need to be faithful.

- What do you think? - I think the same.

I have to tell you. The situation in Germany, well, I have to say my husband is Egyptian.

I think that men here don't think much of fidelity.

- Have you ever had an affair? - I've been faithful until now.

- Is your husband faithful? - Yes, I think so.

Generally speaking I'm faithful.

- Is your husband faithful? - Of course.

- Are you faithful? - I think so.

- Never had an affair? - Yes, I had.

- Do you think your husband is faithful? - All the time.

- Are you faithful? - Yes.

- Could you imagine having an affair? - Having what?

Having an affair?

One can dream about it, but don't do it. That's something different. Dreaming and doing.

- Do you think your husband is faithful? - Yes, I think so.

- I think it's important, but I don't think so. - Is this your daughter?

- That's my daughter. - What do you think?

- Nothing at all. - It's important.

That's something very individual. It depends on the behavior of the wife, you know.

Are you faithful?

Yes, one has to be nowadays. I'm in a age where you have to be faithful.

I think yes. Most people think that they'll find big adventures and

the romance they are dreaming of, but they're not finding it for good.

Do you think your husband is faithful?

I think so, but I can't be sure.

Yes, I have a very faithful husband.

- Do you think he had an affair? - Of course.

- Do you know for sure? - Yes, I know.

What to say? I think most men are faithful and they just have a big mouth.

- What do you think? - A lot. I'm married for 25 years.

On the 27th of April I got my silver wedding anniversary. I think a lot of it.

- What do you think? - Not much.

- And you? - Nothing.

What should be done if a husband has an affair? Get a divorce?

Oh, that's very hard. Not if you love him.

Yes, but if you find proof like lipstick on his cheeks?

Oh, I would throw him out, you know.

- You would throw him out? - Yes, with a kick.

That's Robert Berndorf, married for 7 years and owner of a car dealership.

He's 40 years old and likes to sell fast cars to young, beautiful women.

For reasons of convenience he joined a cracker-barrel.

That's Mrs. Berndorf. Today she made a decision.

Do you have evidence that your husband is cheating on you, Mrs. Berndorf?

I wouldn't be here then.

Do you have a picture of your husband?

- Please. - Thanks.

- Could you give this to me? - Of course.

Thanks.

We'll observe your husband.

If you could please sign this.

Mrs. Berndorf is only one of a thousand women who let their husband be observed.

Over 90% of the tasks by the investigation firm deal with observing the husband.

Frequently the reports of investigation are documents of human inadequacy.

Not just Mrs. Berndorf, but all the women who let their

husbands be observed are helpless and desperate.

It's not easy making such a decision.

Hello, please call the student who reported to me.

Yes, Mittler, or something like that. I don't know.

Also, Mr. Lohmeister is married to this woman.

What should I do? I must tell this to your husband. The evidence is overwhelming. Please.

This means a divorce, which I don't want.

We'll find a solution.

Do you have a light?

Psychology and interrogation technique in the investigation of facts.

You're crazy.

Bernd, Bernd, come here.

Bernd, put your finger here.

What?

A fingerprint.

Such nonsense.

Stupid ignoramus. Powder is necessary.

Powder?

What did you say? Powder?

Of course, honey. Powder is necessary.

Now I'll do a few fingerprints.

Attention.

Yes, Mittler speaking. Stop it.

Yes, I'm on my way.

My first case.

73% of all divorces in Germany happen because of the infidelity of husbands.

By order of Mr. Berndorf's investigation firm Brigitte is now his spy.

Mrs. Berndorf wasn't wrong. Her husband has a mistress.

In a few months he finds what he's missing with his wife.

Yes, yes, Sybille.

Oh, please, Sybille, I can get rid of the Cadillac.

The man has had an eye on it for three days.

I might arrange it today. That's five million I need.

- You're really not coming? - Today I can't, honey.

Too bad, I'm longing for you.

I must go to the cracker-barrel, also in case I'm in need of an alibi.

Alibi? She'll find out one day. You must tell her the truth.

Of course she'll find out. We'll talk some other time about this.

I need to hang up. The people are waiting outside. I'll call you.

Well, too bad. I'm full of desire.

Yes, me too.

Bye, kiss you.

What would you think of a woman who has an affair with a married man?

I think that's not so good.

If your husband has an affair, would you sit down with the girl and talk about this?

No, the man has to do this.

- Could you forgive him? - Under certain conditions.

- If he has a permanent girlfriend. - I would break him loose from her.

It's very depressing for the woman, for sure.

- Would you do the same to him? - Yes.

- You would stop? - Yes, right.

- Do you think your husband is faithful to you? - Yes, at the moment.

Men need to have what they need, but I think he's very happy with me.

Your motto is: What I don't know won't hurt me.

Right. What a man wants to do, he does anyhow.

Would you get a divorce if your husband got a mistress?

- Of course. - No.

- What do you say? - Sure.

- Why not. - Because I love him.

And it's also modern. I got a lover myself. So what?

Would you get a divorce if your husband got a mistress?

- No. - Why not?

No, I wouldn't. We already talked about this.

Yes, I would talk with him about this. We talk about everything.

And I think it's possible to talk about this.

For a while Mrs. Berndorf has gone to bed in the afternoon. It's an escape.

Since she's afraid of losing her husband she suffers from migraines.

It won't be late today.

- Robert, come to me. - What is it, honey?

Don't you want to say goodbye to me or is your cracker-barrel

so important that you don't have time for this?

Sleep well, honey. Hopefully your migraine will go away.

Sit down for a moment. What's happening between us, Robert?

Why isn't it like it was before?

We get older. Seven years of marriage. We all feel the same way. I'm working too hard.

No, no, Robert, you changed! What happened? We're

not going to the theater or cinema anymore.

What happened? What?

What should have happened. It's not true.

Or did I change? You used to become mad because of these.

Let's talk about this tomorrow, please?

If you have the nerve to go now...

Cracker-barrel. Kiss my ass till tomorrow.

That's building contractor Eugen Wollmann, divorced blamelessly.

Since his wife cuckolded him, for him all women are whores.

He belongs to the 23% of men who can't bear it at home, because they're lonely.

Mr. Wollmann is slowly but steadily ruining his liver with alcohol.

That's the landlady. She got her husband from Bavaria.

He bought this bar for himself and his wife, is part of the cracker-barrel

and his best customer. He became a bit homeless here.

You're coming earlier every day. Almost no one is here before the evening news.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Take our cracker-barrel motto to heart.

Good night, worries, lick my ass till tomorrow morning.

You only got one liver, Josef.

Speaking of liver...

What is it? What's that for?

The new birth control pill. For men.

You can fool the others when they're here.

Cheers, Mr. Wollmann.

Don't be such a slut.

Don't fool around.

In contrast to the last few years at the cracker-barrel

a rising trend of male sociability can be observed.

Cracker-barrel? I don't know. I go where the

beer tastes good and I know where it tastes good.

At the moment in Germany there are 1397 cracker-barrel groups.

While it's doubtful if all the men who tell their wives

that they go to a cracker-barrel really are doing it.

Only older men, around 70 years old.

- I got a cracker-barrel. - Are you going there regularly?

Yes, I would say regularly.

Now and then when we have time.

No, on principle I never go to the bar.

- No bar? - Never, my money is hard-earned.

Do you think it makes sense for men to have a cracker-barrel or a stag party?

- Yes, this makes sense. - As an escape from marriage?

Not escaping, but to take a break from the marriage.

- Vacation from marriage? - Vacation from marriage.

Is it always the truth when men say that they are going to the cracker-barrel?

- Do you believe this? - For 80%.

Don't drink so much, Josef, or you'll become impotent.

You know what Luther said? Two in a week, 104 in a year, and is good for me and you.

That's enough.

Thank God you're a Catholic.

You're the landlord? Mr. Hirnbeiss.

- Yes, I am. And you're the pollster? - Yes

I talked to the chief kiss my ass brother. Wollmann's the name.

He doesn't mind. The men are downstairs in the bowling alley. I'll take you there.

43% of all married man have a hobby.

62% of them do bowling.

Once a week faithful husbands need to be among themselves. The men say.

Listen, everyone. That's the pollster who wants to question us.

That's Mr. Wollmann.

Hello, everyone is informed so you can start right away.

Before saying one word: Cheers!

Cheers!

Please.

- Are you faithful? - Faithful?

Yeah, well, I come around a lot. I'm a TV expert. There are lonely housewives.

May I ask you? Are you cheating on your wife?

I got no other choice when I'm out of the country. I'm a soccer player.

Patzek, defense player. You know me for sure.

As a healthy man you need regular intercourse or you'll go crazy.

First a beer before we go crazy. What is it, guys?

Here's the new round.

Here's the beer. Cheers!

Cheers! Cheers!

Go on.

What would your wife say if she found out that you have a girlfriend?

First, I don't have a girlfriend. Second...

Third, he's got at least 20. He's a teacher at a

school for girls. Each one prettier than the last.

These young and beautiful girls don't make it easy for me.

Do you think that a man can't live long without a woman?

Well, that beats me. By day someone like me who...

...and at night. He often works the night shift.

Sitting all day in a crowded bus, one is tired in the evening.

- What does your wife say? - Mother? I mean my wife.

You'll be next.

- Your wife is sleeping by then? - No, she waits till I come home and prepares tea.

And you? What's your name?

B�gelmann. Men's clothier, if you need something nice.

Better get a decent tailor.

- Do you have a girlfriend? - No.

What do you mean?

Listen, have you ever been to a brothel?

He's asking some questions? Have you ever been to a brothel?

Me, never?

How can you talk about things you don't even know?

I'm also asking if someone has a bank account.

Will come. There's someone else who has never been to a brothel.

My son Wolfie. He doesn't have a clue at all.

When I was 18... Never mind. I'll shake things up for him tonight.

May I ask you? What is it?

You're invited. You can do an interview, too.

Very nice.

Bye.

- Very drunk. - That's my cracker-barrel.

They'll get the pollster ready downstairs.

And I'll get you ready. Later, I mean.

Think of the customers.

We already did it two times this week.

Think of Luther.

So you'll do a cross on the calendar every time?

They should shut you up.

- Oh, Mr. Berndorf. - Hello, Berndorf.

How are you?

- Hello. - Hello, Mr. Berndorf.

Nice to see you again.

You know. Christa and her migraine.

As ordered, Britta kept an eye on Mr. Berndorf the whole day.

So far she hasn't noticed anything suspicious.

- The others are bowling downstairs. Are you coming? - No, I don't want to.

Oh, look who's here. Right on time, Robert. We're doing a joy ride to the cathouse.

You can support my son.

I'm finished for today. Five hours of talking to sell one fucking Cadillac.

I'm going home, like I promised my wife.

Yeah, yeah, promised your wife. Well, let's go.

My wife is out of town.

In this moment Brigitte suddenly feels like Mrs. Berndorf.

She recognized Bernd, her husband, on the way to a brothel.

Of 1000 happily married men, 3 regularly and 2 occasionally visit prostitutes.

The revenue generated here exceeds 600 billion every year in Germany.

Oh, where have you been so long?

You haven't been here for 4 days at least. Which of these is ready to slaughter?

- Say hello, Wolfie. - Wolfgang!

Wolfgang, you're here so don't be shy.

Which one had you in mind?

Susi, Edeltraut, customers are here.

I had Susi in mind. She wanted to become a teacher once.

He won't have a heart attack. Come on, touch her melons.

You can grind a knife there.

What is it? Want to fuck? Come on, I don't bite.

Take this off while fucking. It squeezes.

Here, my boy. Get yourself a few happy minutes.

Due to disappointments in his own life related to women, Mr. Wollmann wants to

give his 18-year-old son Wolfgang his first erotic adventure in a brothel.

It will keep him from believing in women like Mr. Wollmann once did.

...better the first time. It won't hurt.

Whorehouses make me puke.

- How about a male brothel? - I'll slap your face.

Can't you take a joke?

Mr. Wollmann couldn't know that the educational nonsense of

this sex education excursion couldn't damage his son.

What is it?

Maybe Mr. Wollmann would have reacted differently if he had known

that sex education is done differently nowadays.

Young people in broken homes do the sex education by themselves.

The parents are responsible for the damage done in such a case.

Oh, boy!

Come to me.

Tell me, how old were you when you had your first time?

14.

- Me too. And the girl? - She was 13.

- Where did you learn this? - At school. Mixed high school.

Where am I?

With little Susi.

I'm glad you can stand this little hit.

Let's continue.

Brigitte has been waiting for her husband for half an hour,

Of course she must assume that Bernd doesn't grieve in these 30 minutes.

Tell me, do you prefer to sleep with married or unmarried men?

What a stupid question: With married men. They cum faster.

How do you explain this?

You can't stop asking questions?

This pays my rent.

What is it? Come. Hurry up. You're not my only customer tonight.

I must earn the rent today.

Goodbye.

You can't do it, jerk?

Lightning shall hit you while fucking.

It seems no marriage is without problems.

Even the suspicion of unfaithfulness is enough to trigger fatal conflicts.

Statistics show that 34% of all husbands consider an adultery in such a situation.

But 66% don't even have that thought.

With the start of the day the problems at night become less important.

As if nothing happened, everyone goes back to work.

Even Willy Nickel, well provided with mother's sandwich and Thermos bottle.

He'll steer his bus through heavy traffic. A captain on big city roads.

TV Fricke seems to have had a delightful night with his young wife.

Now he has a hard working day ahead.

At 7 o'clock for Brigitte and Bernd Mittler a new day starts.

- Don't touch me. - What is it?

- I couldn't sleep the whole night. - Why?

Why? For the first time we didn't do it before going to sleep.

Tell me, honey, I'm a bit groggy, right?

You can say.

Who never was drunk...

I had to observe a man yesterday. He went with some friends to a brothel.

Statistics show that 3 out of 1000 happy husbands...

When they are happy and going there, they are pigs.

I don't want to be married to someone who goes to brothels.

Why do you think that married men go occasionally to a brothel?

Variety, I suppose.

Why? I suppose they don't find the right satisfaction at home.

One week passes this way. Studies in the morning, public questioning in the afternoon.

...is guilty.

Well, maybe, let's say. What you can't achieve with

your wife, you can achieve there. That's my opinion.

Because he doesn't like it at home.

Why do you think you do this, I mean, married men?

No comment.

- Have you ever been to a brothel? - A lot of times, even as a soldier.

Are you looking for something special you can't find at home?

Yes, how can say it? It's not abnormal, but what you demand.

- Have you ever been to a brothel? - A long time ago.

Yes, in military navy. I even headed a brothel in San Lazzaro.

Yes, in Stuttgart.

Were you looking for something special? Something you're not getting at home?

No.

- Just to have seen it. - How often did you go?

- A few times. - Was it good?

I walked through it.

- Was it necessary? - Yes.

- For the inner balance? - Yes.

My job demanded it.

As a taxi driver. To fetch or get the customer there.

Why are they doing this?

Because they don't find at home what they want.

If he tells you one day that he's been to the brothel, would you forgive him?

I can't change it. What should I say? Of course I'm a bit disappointed.

- Happy? - And you?

Worries?

In business?

- Nah? - So it is.

Why don't you tell her? You're still stuck to her?

I'm sorry.

What about me? I never have you a whole night.

Just a few hours in the afternoon or evening.

I'll stay with you tonight. I love you.

In the beginning one believes that's enough.

Over time one doesn't want to share.

- My marriage is just a piece of paper. - Then rip it apart.

What kind of marriage is this with you and your wife lying

next to another for hours and pretending that everything is all right?

Christa doesn't want to understand that it's over.

Just because you're not telling her. You're unfair to me, too.

I'll tell her. I don't want to lose you.

I don't want to lose you either, honey.

Did I promise you enough?

Let's see what you got there.

Oh boy, she's hot.

Excuse me.

Hirnbeiss speaking.

Good evening. This is Mrs. Berndorf. Is my husband still there?

He just went out. One moment, maybe I can catch him.

Berndorf! Hey, Berndorf.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Berndorf. If you had called one minute earlier.

Then he'll be home soon. Thanks.

You're all bunch of liars.

A innkeeper must be discreet.

Josef! As long as you're lying for your friends...

but I'm warning you.

Did I hear Berndorf? He hasn't been here.

His wife called. He wasn't at home, too.

He won't be home before morning.

- He got a chick. - How do you know?

Give me another one.

Guys, let Robert alone. You're not better than him.

One should take care of his own business.

You should have become a priest instead of a teacher.

You got some secrets, too?

Some are bigger, others are smaller.

No use of showing you this.

It like throwing pearls before swine.

- Shut up. - Hasn't it been 6?

5, I swear. Can you give me the address?

Are you crazy? I'm handing over such a great chick.

I must leave. I got a date at 9. Tomorrow I need a crane.

The bill, please.

- Don't overreach yourself. - I do what I can.

- I don't like this, to be honest. - Cool down.

- I must go. - You're leaving, too?

Yes, but the doctor is right. It's no good talking about others in their absence.

All the night shifts are bad for you.

No night shift today. I'm going home to my wife.

I promised my wife. Good night, everyone.

Good night.

I had 3 beers.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Good night, guys.

If I imagine them going to bed with their wives...

You're starting it again. Another round for the cracker-barrel.

You should have taken the bus.

This could happen to anyone. How about giving you a cheque?

- If it's not covered? - Come on. 4,70 DM.

- You don't have money at home. - The lady got central heating.

- How much is missing? - 4,70 DM.

A new trick. And afterward the gentleman wants his money back.

Give me the 30 Pfennig and get lost.

You won't have much fun with him.

Let's go. Would you please take this?

Of course.

- How far upstairs do you live? - On the 6th floor.

Let's go.

- Is too heavy? - No.

By the way, I know you.

I think I saw you, too. Maybe at the milk man?

- I live next door? - Really?

Here we are.

Take a seat.

Oh no, I don't want to disturb you.

Oh, please, I must offer something to my lifesaver.

Beer or schnapps?

Well, a schnapps.

- Please. - Thanks.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

I've been to Mallorca.

Yes, I've once been to Helgoland.

- It's very hot here. - That's normal under the roof.

- Take off your jacket. - Well, I'm wearing suspenders.

Oh, please don't worry. Men with suspenders have something

solid, domesticated about them. I like domesticated men.

Relax a bit while I change clothes.

Oh, you don't have anything to drink anymore.

Please. Make yourself comfortable.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

It wasn't so great on Mallorca.

- The Latin lovers, right? - Yes.

Oh, take off your shoes.

May I?

It's getting late. I must go home to my wife.

I must thank you. It was very comfortable with you.

Especially the nice cognac.

- Well, good bye. - Good bye.

And so Willy Nickel stays a faithful husband.

A small oversight, a hole in the sock, prevented him from betraying his wife.

At this moment he doesn't know if he should be happy about this.

Statistics show that 70% of all husbands prefer night-time for adultery.

18% of all husbands who commit adultery do this during the day.

12% during work. Only 0.2% of husbands commit adultery in their marriage bed.

By the way, TV Fricke is still on the road.

Could he be one of the 70% who prefer night-time for adultery?

Oh, shit.

I'll teach you, you layabout.

Stop it. Are you crazy?

- Stop it. - No.

I'm begging you, honey. Be rational.

Honey?

Brute! Sex maniac! Cheater!

You went to a brothel, for sure.

Let me explain, honey.

Just wait. I'll find out. I'm at the lawyer tomorrow.

Let's see what you got with you.

Pictures of naked girls. You spent some time with whores, right?

I'll rip this dirty bitch apart. I can't stand it any longer.

Let me explain, honey. I'm begging you.

What is there to explain?

You don't know where I took the pictures of the girl.

In a photo studio at the center. Admission 5 Mark.

You're crazy. She's not worth a penny.

I wanted the pictures for the cracker-barrel.

The guys boasted and I wanted to do the same.

It was a big success.

Your boasting with other women?

I bought the camera especially for this.

One moment. I'll show you something.

It was great being a widower.

If you want to boast at the cracker-barrel, than only with me.

Take off the pants.

Now we're gonna take a family picture.

You'll show this at the cracker-barrel, you swine.

Wake up, Willy.

- Good morning. - It's about time.

Coffee is in the kitchen. The sandwiches are prepared, too.

You look pale.

It's not good what you're doing, kid.

Doing what?

All the night shifts. You'll get a heart attack with this traffic.

Here. You'll need to change every day when it's so hot.

Otherwise your colleagues will think that you're married to a slut.

Honorary teacher Dr. Wolf is a modern teacher.

Till today he could politely and firmly put the girls from his class in their place,

when they would make him the object of their flirtations.

- Did you get my letter? - Yes, I got it.

But I didn't read it. I won't read it.

I don't want you sending me those letters.

Listen, Uschi, if you don't stop I'll have to talk to your parents.

They're on vacation.

Dr. Wolf wants to settle the case with Uschi.

First he thought that her feelings are the usual juvenile infatuation.

But putting passionate love letters into his pocket is too much.

He asked her for private conversation. It was a big mistake.

Instead of making Uschi come to the teachers room to minimize her infatuation,

talk her out of it, in front of a colleague, he was playing a dangerous game.

Does your wife know that you're going on a walk with me?

We're not going for a walk, Ursula.

Ursula? Uschi is my name, for 16 years.

- Since 15 years. - Are you afraid of that?

- Of what? - Of the 3 missing months.

- Are you crazy? - No, I know what you're thinking.

You're looking at me the same way the other men do. You're just a coward.

I don't want you to say this. Do you understand?

You'll meet a young man for sure some day.

Then you'll see that you don't take your teacher seriously anymore.

- You don't want to understand me. - I'm not allowed to understand you.

I know that you love me.

I can't do anything with these idiots. I don't like these little boys.

How old would your father be now?

50.

Only 5 years older than me.

Uschi!

I'll eat my hat if the girl is 16 years old.

What would you say if a teacher has a relationship with a minor, like his pupil?

- Would you condemn this? - Yes.

I would be shocked. Depends how old the teacher is. 50 would be shocking.

Oh my God. This should never happen.

If he loves her?

- And he's married? - Yes.

That's a scandal.

What would you say if a teacher has a relationship with his pupil?

It depends. If they are in high school, doing their exams,

and the teacher is not too old it might be possible.

A teacher shouldn't do this.

I don't think so either. A teacher shouldn't do this.

- What do you think? - I don't think that's good.

The teacher could be fired because of this.

Imagine you have an underage daughter who has a relationship

with a married teacher. What would you say?

Oh boy, I've got two daughters.

I would beat up the teacher.

Oh, the girls are very nice.

If he was seduced by the girl?

That's not possible.

Why not?

A underage girl can't seduce a teacher. I don't know this from school.

Would you go to the school, to the director, or to the police?

It depends on the relationship with his first wife.

If they don't get along well with her and the relationship with the daughter is better.

What if he has an affair with the daughter?

- I would stop it. - How?

I would manage to get them apart.

- If she seduced him? - That's not good.

A teacher should be principled enough to resist this.

Robert Berndorf is worried. He needs an alibi after a night with Sybille.

Hello, can I talk to Mr. Fl�gel?

He's on his lunch break.

Too bad. Where is he? I'm a friend.

You're Mr. Berndorf, right? I got his phone number.

Hello. One moment, please.

Robert speaking. Is it you, Fl�gel?

- What is it, Robert? - I'm worried.

- I'm think I'm being watched. - Who's watching you? Tax investigators?

Bullshit. I suppose my wife.

If she calls you. We were at the cracker-barrel and

went for a drink later. Without girls, of course.

Sure, anything else?

Bye, I owe you one.

- Bye. - Who was this?

My shop.

- What time is it? - Almost 15:00.

It's about time. My wife wants to be at the shop at 15:30.

Oh, I'll call Karin.

Come.

Hello?

Hi, Karin. Listen, I'll come a bit later.

Me too, honey.

Tell your wife that my husband will bring two chops.

Inge says that Klaus will bring two chops. Two chops!

- Not too fat. - Not too fat.

Not too fat. You wife says you will bring something. Two chops.

What does she need mops for?

We got 20 minutes. It'll be great.

Karin and Klaus are also busy.

What do you think of wife swapping?

Depends on the couple.

- And you. - That's it.

- I'm aligned with my wife. - Threesome marriage?

No.

- You're not against it in general? - Actually no.

At the moment we both don't want it.

I can't imagine him coming home and asking for it.

I can't say anything. So far I've never tried it. Read and heard but never tried.

- Would you show understanding? - No

- Not a bit? - No.

- Why do you think we do this? - I'm happily married.

I don't think it's good. Why do they do it? Maybe they are unhappy.

One day he comes home and says that he met

a nice couple. Why don't we swap wives?

No, I wouldn't do it.

What do you think?

I don't think it's good. No need for marriage then.

It might be a model of the future, but not now. It can't be realized that way.

Why do you think it's done?

By way of variety.

- Why is it done? - Hm, why?

These are modern times. I don't know.

I think it's a predisposition. There are compulsive and

not so compulsive people. I was born a Virgo and have a distant nature.

No, oh my God.

How about wife swapping?

You are asking such an impossible question I can't answer as a happily married wife.

If we wouldn't be such good friends, I wouldn't go out with you.

What is it?

The training. I never saw such a training.

What is it? Tell me. I think you're fucking too much.

Bullshit. Firstly I'm not fucking around, and secondly

why shouldn't soccer players fuck around?

But before a cup match. You'll get weak in the knees.

Look, there needs to be power in a corner kick.

Regards to your toe. You should cool it.

I don't understand how your wife doesn't find out.

She'll wear you out if she finds out.

- She'll cut your dick? - My dick? Never.

Why are you so quiet?

- Why are you so quiet? - What should I say. I'm happy.

You don't notice anything?

A good buy. That's something for your life.

- In installments. - You know I don't like this.

I like to make you happy if you want it.

But honey, you're already paying the rent.

Why shouldn't I pay your rent, when I'm at home here?

Like at the Tegernsee.

If I only hadn't placed an advertisement in the newspaper.

I wouldn't have met my wife and got stuck with these idiots.

- You wouldn't have met me. - You're right.

All the good can't be in one place. Bring me another beer.

You want to fuck me today?

Come on, you know it's just harmonious between us.

Our friendship is based on real things. Only the heart is important.

My wife finished me tonight. I'm thinking of a divorce.

You're doing it wrong, buddy. Take a look. The beer.

- Cheers! - The beer.

Oh, my beer.

- Cheers! - Thanks.

Oh, look who's here.

- Where have you been all afternoon? - At my girlfriend's place.

Stop joking around.

What's up?

That's not working.

OK, boys, let's play better. Hi, Robert.

- Be quiet for a moment. - Want to make a speech?

Dr. Wolf was arrested this afternoon.

Seduction of minors.

Oh look, Shall we smoke the peace pipe together?

- Can I have the car? - Joy ride to the lake?

You forgot that I got a job?

Sorry, still hunting poor husbands?

Poor? They are all bastards.

- You're very vulgar. - Can I have the car or not?

Greetings to Berndorf or have you already nailed him?

I'll get him, be sure of it.

What would you do if you find out that your wife is spying on you?

For example with a private investigator.

I don't know what to do then.

I would have a heart-to-heart talk with her.

Maybe that would clarify a changing relationship.

Would you spy on him if he might have a girlfriend?

No.

- Are you searching his pockets? - No

We're married for 20 years without such differences and won't have them.

Would you spy on him if he might have a girlfriend?

Yes, I would.

What would you do if you find out that your wife is spying on you?

For example with a private investigator.

Confront her.

- Are you searching his pockets? - Yes.

- Found something? - Yes.

Have you thought why your husband is cheating on you, if he does it?

- Why does a husband cheat on his wife? - There must be a reason.

Maybe, we were married for 2 years. I was pregnant. We were looking for it.

Mrs. Berndorf tells Brigitte that she had a dangerous miscarriage in her third month.

From this day on she was afraid of intimacy with her husband.

Maybe you can imagine this. It all settled down, but it wasn't like it was before.

So easy.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a girlfriend.

What needs to be proved.

What would you say if you had the feeling your husband is cheating on you?

If you wait night after night knowing he isn't telling the truth.

You make life difficult for yourself.

I need to know who she is and how she is. Please help me.

Why didn't you come to me today? Why do we have to meet here?

Are you afraid she might find out?

Find out? What a stupid thing to say.

You should tell her the truth.

Or stop seeing me. I don't like cowards.

- How often did I tell you... - Make up your mind. Now.

- Your wife or me? - Do you feel sorry for her?

Yes, I always felt sorry for her.

You're betraying her and me. Betrayed women are sisters.

- Make up your mind, Robert. - Sybille, it's not so easy.

You just decided.

A lot of husbands can change their feelings easily.

Women don't even suspect how easily men forget their mistress.

I must tell you something.

Robert Berndorf's innocence was preserved because of the decision of his mistress.

Like a lot of husbands it's easy for him to go back to his wife.

Huh? I know this.

Listen...

Let me...

One minute later soccer player Patzek was arrested

on the street because of indecent behaviour.

Honey!

Here. For you.

- Are you married? - Yes.

Are you faithful?

What can be said about the faithfulness of men, yes I am.

What does this mean?

This means that an open door may tempt a saint.

- Have you ever cheated? - No.

- Have you ever been to a brothel? - Yes, but before I got married.

- Do you have a cracker-barrel? - Yes, I have.

What would you do if you find out your wife has a lover?

I would confront her and find out why she has a lover. This must be also my fault.

What would you do if you find out your wife is spying on you?

With a private investigator, for example?

I think that's a betrayal of confidence and would lead to heavy marital crisis.

Do you think a man can live without a woman for a longer time?

Yes, he can, if he loves his wife and is happy with her.

You're at home? I thought you were spying on husbands?

Firstly I'm not spying on husbands, and secondly most of them do it at night.

- Shady bunch. - You're not spying anymore?

- No. - How about Berndorf?

- I don't know. - Did he do it or not?

You primitive. It's not that easy.

- Usually both are guilty. - Okay, Professor Freud.

What did I do wrong?

You, why you?

Why don't you tell me the truth? I did something wrong.

Maybe you tell me what's going on.

You're a fucking hypocrite or really stupid.

- I'm stupid. - Okay, fine.

- Berndorf has a favorite pub. - So what?

- You don't get it. - No. Why?

It's only 10 minutes to the brothel from there.

Hey, listen.

You can't stop asking questions?

This pays my rent.

What is it? Come. Hurry up! You're not my only customer tonight.

I must earn the rent today.

What's that?

- Goodbye. - You can't do it, jerk.

Lightning shall hit you while...

The confession of adultery.

Hot, isn't it?

The damned fucking.

Translated by Kiba. Proofread by MrGrindhouse.