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You are never more alive than when you're a teenager.

Your brain is flush with chemicals

that can turn your life into a story of epic proportions.

An A-minus feels like the Pulitzer,

a lonely Saturday night is an eternity of solitude,

and your lab partner becomes the great love of your life.

And yet, by the start of my senior year,

nothing interesting or remarkable

had ever happened to me.

I was grateful for my life.

I had my best friends... All two of them...

Relax. You got this.

...parents who met

and fell in love when they were my age,

and my writing.

But a platform was pointless

unless I actually had something to say.

And I didn't,

because nothing worth writing about had ever happened to me.

Then, on the day I found out about the job,

something finally happened.

Hi, guys. Thanks for swinging by.

Come on in. You want us both?

Yes, both of you would be great.

Come on.

Grace just transferred here from East River,

where she spent two years writing for the Gazette.

You both possess remarkable depth for writers your age.

Which is why I think that you two will make

a truly dynamic editor-in-chief duo.

No. What?

Uh, one more time?

I don't want to be an editor.

But thank you.

Um...

Hey.

- Why'd you say no? - What?

Why'd you say no?

Why do you care? What?

Why do you care?

Uh... I don't.

It's just a good opportunity for a writer, I guess.

I just don't get why you would say no.

All right, well, don't let it keep you up at night.

Oh, shit.

What?

I just missed my bus.

Can't walk?

Um... no, I mean, I can.

It's just far.

Uh, that's why I take the bus.

My house is up there.

I have a car. I can give you a ride if you want.

Yeah?

Thanks.

Hey, so you like "Nehradah"?

Neruda.

Oh.

Oh. Um...

Yeah, well, I only read a stanza,

but I thought it was really beautiful.

You think so?

Yeah. Do you not?

No, I just think that's what people say

when they read a poem that they don't understand.

Hmm.

Finish it.

And let me know if you still feel the same way.

Huh. It's a cool place.

How come you walk to school if you have a car?

I don't like driving.

- Do you have a license? - Yeah.

♪ I'd take care of you ♪

It's a good song.

♪ If you ask me to ♪

You live in a house like this, but you don't have a car?

I guess my grades aren't good enough for a car, so...

Hmm.

Thanks a lot.

Uh...

Well, I'll see you tomorrow?

Okay.

Henry. What's up, Suds?

You, uh, just get back or something?

Mmm, no. Just leaving.

I'm late.

So, uh, who's the girl?

- What girl? - The one that drove Henry home.

A girl drove you home?

She left her car here and walked away.

Run.

Yeah, when are you gonna move back out again?

Ignore her. She's declared war on love.

No, just on cheating assholes.

Will you see him today? Oh, my God.

He's my attending, Mom.

I'll see him several times today.

So, how was the first day back?

Good. Yeah. It was good.

Did you get it?

Uh...

- Yeah. - Oh.

Yeah, you did.

Congratulations, sweetie.

Nice work.

Okay, got to go. Love you, guys.

So, who's the girl?

♪ I'd take care of you ♪

♪ If you'd ask me to ♪

♪ In a year or two ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

"I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose,

topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

"...the shadow and the soul."

"I love you like the plant that does not bloom,

but carries within itself, hidden,

the light of those flowers."

"...thanks to your love, lives darkly in my body..."

"...a certain solid fragrance that has risen from the earth."

I love you without knowing how or when or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,

in which there is no you nor I,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine.

So close that your hand upon my chest is mine.

"So close that your eyes close as I dream."

I have no idea what you said, but it worked.

What?

I think the newspaper's gonna be a really good thing for her.

We will have four issues... the first in November, the last in June.

The first three are garden-variety periodicals:

Hard-hitting news, sports, features, the like.

But the last one, that's where we get creative.

With the help of the group, Henry will choose a theme,

and you will have carte blanche to explore that theme

as you see fit.

That last issue will be this team's legacy,

an opportunity to share your accrued wisdom

with the students behind you.

I'm not just talking about the four years that you've spent

within the walls of this building.

I am talking bigger than that.

I am talking about the totality of your 17 years on this planet.

Last but not least, Grace here joins us

from our neighboring school, East River Preparatory,

and will lend Henry a helping hand with all things editorial.

Now, here's what Kyle and his team did for last year's final issue.

Um, I'm sorry. Uh, Kyle sucks.

Very constructive, La.

Well, okay, um...

the final issue last year did kind of suck.

All right.

Um, hey, so I don't know what your thoughts...

So, I'm not writing.

If you have something to say, you can just say it yourself,

and I'll help with, like, editing and design and...

I handle design.

Well, everything other than design then.

But just not... just not writing.

And I'm assistant editor,

because apparently you worked very hard for this,

so it should be all yours.

Looks like Cora's into you again.

Yo, what is the deal with her?

She's making eyes at me, laughing at all my jokes,

and it's like this air pocket that's, like,

connecting us, and it's just filled with, like, marshmallows,

gummy bears, and freakin' bubble gum and sparklies,

and it's just like, if I eat it,

I'm gonna get another cavity like last year, and I can't.

Hmm, good metaphor.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Hey, Grace. Hankard.

I, um... This is our bus!

...actually didn't get a chance to tell you,

I finished that poem.

And, um... yeah.

I still think it's beautiful,

but not in the, uh, normal kind of bullshit way.

Um, which, uh, which I think is also

kind of what the poem's about, 'cause, you know,

Neruda's love for her doesn't come from, like, uh...

Sunshine and roses and cliché stuff.

You know, it comes from, um, her... flaws

and her imperfections, like, darker places.

Hankard! Uh, comes from...

Come on, you flirt!

...I guess who she has the potential to be

and not just who she is.

So, I don't know.

So, beautiful in that kind of way, you know.

You're gonna miss your bus again.

I see you.

What's he doing?

Um, you think I could get another ride?

Sure.

♪ I'd take care of you ♪

♪ If you'd ask me to ♪

Thanks for letting me drive myself home again.

Where do you go to? Why do you go?

What are your colors? What are your moods?

To see you, I turn. To know you, I burn.

- Okay. Bye. - Oh, my God,

it kills me when she speaks Spanish.

Don't you want to say, "What's up?" Why? So she can ghost me again?

I mean... See you, guys.

Uh, see you.

Bye. Uh-huh.

Bye.

Fuck.

Meh.

Meh. Meh-meh.

What was that little "meh-meh" thing?

Uh... oh, um... um...

I just... we... when we're just,

um, I guess, annoyed, we just do that.

I don't know. Mmm.

Um...

Uh, you think you'd give me a ride today, maybe?

Hey, do you want to come in and hang out or something?

I can't today.

Okay.

Um...

I'll just see you tomorrow then, so... Okay.

Henry?

Hmm?

Meet me here at 6:00.

Okay.

Yeah, I can meet... -00.

Yeah.

Bring a loaf of bread.

- What happened to your car? - It's back at my house.

Did you drive it back and then you walked here?

We don't need it.

Come on.

It was a cotton mill in the 1800s,

and then...

they made plastic bottles until it shut down in 1989, I think.

You have to be quiet.

- Whoa. - Shh.

You'll scare them away.

Come here.

Have you ever had a girlfriend?

Uh, no.

Uh, not really.

Why not?

Uh... You ever had a boyfriend?

No.

So what's the deal?

I don't know.

Um...

I'm not really good at this stuff.

Well, I thought you were a writer.

Uh... yeah, I mean, exactly.

I could probably go home right now

and write you something about why I've never had a girlfriend,

like an essay or whatever.

Oh, so you just have to edit everything.

No, it's not editing.

It's just, writing, I think, sometimes helps me...

understand myself, I guess, 'cause...

a lot of times, I don't really know how I feel about something

until I really sit down and think about it.

But, I mean, you haven't shared much either.

I did some of my physical therapy in a pool.

Nine months ago,

the car swerved coming around a bend

and hit the rock barrier and the car flipped.

Not that it really even matters.

When I look at that,

it reminds me

that people are just the ashes of dead stars.

We're just a collection of atoms that...

come together for a brief period of time,

and then... we fall apart.

When all of this is over,

and we're dispersed back into nothingness...

we have a clean slate.

It's like having all of your sins wiped away.

Sure you don't want to write for the paper?

What sins do you need wiped away?

I used to be a vandal.

You did this?

When I was 14.

What is that, like, Latin?

What's it mean?

I'm tired. I'm gonna... head home.

Uh...

Do you want me to...

Can you find your way back?

Yeah. Uh...

But are you all right? Yeah, fine.

Uh, thanks for hanging out.

Um...

Yeah, sure. Anytime.

♪ Please don't say we're done When I'm not finished ♪

♪ 'Cause I could give So much more ♪

♪ Make you feel Like never before ♪

♪ Welcome, they said Welcome to the floor ♪

♪ It's been a while And you've found... ♪

Why are you still up?

Um, just working on this.

Is that the one Mom and Dad got you on your birthday?

Mm-hmm.

Don't... hey. It's still drying.

Touchy, touchy, Henry.

♪ Sometimes I still Need you ♪

♪ Sometimes I still need you ♪

♪ Sometimes I still Need you... ♪

It is an odd hobby for a 17-year-old boy.

♪ Sometimes I still need you ♪

Did you know that, uh, heartbreak triggers

the same areas of the brain as physical pain?

When I think about him leaving me,

my brain sends a distress signal to my nervous system.

And it elevates my blood pressure and my heart rate,

giving me chest pains.

Okay.

♪ And I was struggling To get in... ♪

It's happening right now.

Do you want me to go get Mom?

Oh, God, no, please.

Jesus.

Henry. Um...

What's next? Yeah.

Um, uh, okay.

Um, I was thinking we all could kind of just put out

a few ideas of themes for the final issue.

No time like the present.

How about a trippy Alice in Wonderland theme?

You know, like, we all dropped acid

and went down the rabbit hole.

Now, that's tight. I could work with that.

Grace?

What?

Any ideas?

I don't know.

None?

Yeah, that's what "I don't know" means.

Can I go to the bathroom? I have to pee.

Of course.

Just ask her what's going on.

No, I don't know.

I feel like I don't know her like that yet.

I don't know. You should follow her.

What? Yeah.

Don't you want to see where she goes?

Oh. What if she's hanging out with her boyfriend?

Oh, no.

I'm not gonna stalk her.

Maybe I was looking for you.

Clearly, I wasn't going to see you.

It just felt strange,

wanting to tell you...

Would you be down to talk over maybe

some theme ideas or something? Whatever you pick is fine.

Okay.

Should we just, like... I just run my final selections by you then, or...

I mean, it really doesn't matter to me.

I just got a new feature in from Jade,

so I was just gonna edit that.

Oh.

I'd like to match those, but instead I will match this.

Hey, Dad, can I use the car?

Uh, sure, sure. Where to?

Um...

I don't know. Nowhere, really.

So, where are you going?

It's not a cross-examination.

I mean, it feels like that.

Well, you're asking us to lend you our car,

and we're asking a simple question in return.

Okay, um, I'm just... I don't know. I'm just gonna go to Muz's.

Now can I have the keys? You're not even using it.

You're entitled to your privacy.

If you don't want us to know something, say so.

But don't insult us with a lie.

It's beneath you.

Just... You can Uber.

What? I can't Uber. I don't have a credit card.

Well, then you're gonna have to walk.

Fuck!

Hi. Hey. What's up?

So, I couldn't sleep last night,

so I was searching through Mrs. Klein's syllabus,

and I noticed a very interesting trend.

Uh...

Look at them. Okay.

Um, yeah.

They're, um, all about young people?

And they all involve suicide.

Romeo and Juliet off themselves.

Werther shoots himself.

Holden contemplates suicide.

Conrad tries to kill himself by slashing his wrists.

This is what you were up thinking about last night?

Yeah.

Is that normal? Oh, Jesus.

What? Well, I...

You...

You, uh, like, seemed down this week,

so that's a little scary, I guess. Okay.

How do I explain this?

Um... okay.

Think about what it means to be a teenager. Okay?

Your parents pressure you to succeed.

Your friends pressure you to do shit you don't want to do.

Social media pressures you to hate your body.

It's hard, even if you're a well-adjusted kid from a good family.

Okay.

So, now imagine you can't be with the person that you love,

like Romeo and Juliet or Werther,

or you lose the person that you love,

like Holden or Conrad.

There's a reason why, when every author,

from Shakespeare to Salinger, writes about young people,

they can't avoid the truth, that...

being young is so painful,

it's almost, like, too much to feel.

Yeah, are you, like...

suicidal or...

No. God. I mean...

Look, I'm not gonna kill myself.

But have I thought about what it would be like to just not be here anymore?

Yeah.

And I don't say that casually, but I do say it

because hiding that shit and not saying it makes it worse.

It should be talked about.

All of our shit should be talked about.

Mmm.

The teenage years are... limbo.

You're somewhere between being a kid and an adult,

and the world, uh, tells you to be mature

and express yourself, but the minute that you do,

it tells you to shut up.

The thing is, adults are just scarred kids who were lucky enough

to make it out of limbo alive.

Which is why...

the theme of our last issue should be "Teenage Limbo."

Yeah.

Henry's sister is studying to become a neurosurgeon,

and she explained that the teenage brain goes through an upgrade

before it matures to an adult brain.

So, the upgrade is like an explosion of connections and synapses

as we figure out what's right.

Or wrong.

What we like, what we don't like.

You know, who we want to be.

Each page of the issue

is the brain refining itself, figuring itself out,

until eventually it's out of limbo.

So dope.

Yeah. Dope.

All right. Sweet.

Um... so I think we could kind of just

start a... kind of a discussion, like what are we confused about,

what, uh, maybe scares us.

Um, like, are there things maybe

you keep inside that you're afraid to...

Um...

Do you have something?

Um...

Well, yeah, I mean, I do, but I was gonna...

I think I was gonna write it, uh, which...

Hmm.

Um...

Uh, when Mike Johnson killed himself a couple years ago,

um...

I realized that I still had, um, this...

Hustler magazine that he gave me when we were, like, 13

that, uh, he stole from his dad's collection.

And, um...

I don't know.

I feel really stupid admitting this,

but, um, kind of freaked me out.

Like, I couldn't really sleep at night

with this magazine in my drawer.

Um, like it was just kind of...

like, haunted or something.

Um...

And basically, it just was kind of too important to throw away,

but it was also too weird to keep,

so I went to the tree by the art park,

one where he, uh, hung himself,

and I, um, just buried it there.

And, um...

Yeah. Um...

I don't know. It was weird, 'cause for the first time,

I was old enough to understand the gravity of death,

but I was also, um, you know, young enough

that it all came down to just a stupid, like, porn magazine.

I'm proud of you for sharing that.

It must have been hard for you.

Thanks.

Hey, why'd you give up writing?

You've obviously got a lot of ideas.

Somebody really important to me... died.

And, um...

and I was asked to write something, to say something,

like a eulogy, because everyone knew that I was the writer,

and, you know, told me how beautiful my words were, but...

Nothing came. I just couldn't find the words.

What?

Uh, oh, no, it's just funny.

Um, 'cause, you know, I can't find the words when I talk,

and you can't find the words when you write.

That just made me laugh.

You know what I mean?

♪ Cold bones ♪

♪ Yeah, that's my love... ♪

Thank you, anyways. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it's...

You don't have to drink it. It's not that I don't want it.

Yeah, sure... Yeah.

♪ Ooh, does she know ♪

♪ That we bleed the same... ♪

You want to see a movie this weekend?

I don't think I can.

♪ Ooh... ♪

You got other plans?

No, I just have a ton of stuff to do.

So, you used to run track?

Yeah, I was a sprinter.

Oh, what else did you do in your previous life?

Oh, God.

Lit magazine, yearbook staff, student government...

beer pong champion.

Um, first football game is Friday night, if you want to go.

Not that I care, but it's fun.

We usually pregame, and everyone goes.

That sounds fun, but I can't.

Another time though.

What would you say is the dumbest thing you've ever done?

Um, probably when I put my finger

in an electric pencil sharpener in first grade.

It didn't go, um, super well.

What did you think was gonna happen?

I guess I thought it would trim my fingernail.

♪ In the night ♪

♪ Ooh, does she know That we bleed the same? ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

I used to be good at socializing.

I mean, I used to do it all the time.

What changed?

I guess I stopped seeing the point.

Sometimes it's just easier to slip into your own dark abyss

and forget the world exists.

♪ Did she run away... ♪

Yeah, I see her in you sometimes,

like, these, um, flashes of this girl that you used to be.

Um, but was she an act and you're more yourself now,

or is the Grace that I know an act

until you feel comfortable being yourself again?

I don't know. People change.

There's no way you're the same person you were when you were 14.

Hey, um...

What?

All right, so Heslin is having his annual Halloween party tomorrow night.

And it doesn't have to be a big thing.

Doesn't have to be a date or whatever.

No, that's not why.

I think it could... That's not why.

...maybe be, um, just fun.

It'd be good to... good for you,

kind of get back to doing old Grace things. Um...

Oh, is the new Grace not good enough for you or...

No. No, no. That's not what I meant.

Um, no. I think, um...

Hey, hey.

Let's go.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Your keys.

Can I come in?

You don't have to go somewhere?

No, I'm not going to where I go today, so...

Okay, yeah. No, totally. Yeah?

Yeah, come in.

Give me two.

I'll take three. But you get three first. Here.

Hey, guys. What's up? Hey, Henry.

Hey.

Join us, bud. Uh, can't right now.

But this is Grace.

Hi!

Oh. It's Grace!

- Yeah. - Yeah. You actually came in.

We've only seen your car up until now.

Just gonna pick up this stuff here.

♪ Oh, my love... ♪

How did this break?

Oh, um...

I broke that, actually.

Uh, it's called Kintsukuroi.

It's kind of this old-school Japanese art form

where you mend back broken pottery with seams of gold.

♪ Oh, my love ♪

♪ Take your time ♪

♪ See it through ♪

♪ I'd take care of you... ♪

Wait, uh, is this...

Oh, it's the song that you like to play in your car.

Are you okay?

♪ In a year or two... ♪

Why are you... why are you playing this?

I mean, I don't know. I like it. I...

Kind of reminds me of us, I guess.

Hey. Hey.

I'm sorry I played that. I didn't know.

I thought... I don't know.

We listen to it all the time in the car together.

Okay, but it's not our song, okay?

Okay. It's not for you and me.

Okay. Who's it for? What is it?

Dom.

He was my boyfriend.

He was driving the car, and I fucked up my knee, but he...

Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't...

I understand if you don't want to, like...

If you don't want to do anything with me...

Hey.

Can you let me drive you home? No, please.

Please stop, Henry. Why?

Because I'm fucked up, okay? Come on. What's wrong?

Can I drive you home? Yes. No. Please.

Please? Come on. Why? No.

I'm messed up. It's okay. I don't care.

No, it's not!

It's not when you realize that I'm not one of your fucking vases, okay?

You guys think this needs to be here?

- No. - You're right.

I don't feel like we needed it anyway.

It doesn't make sense. Seriously?

Hey, guys. Are you going to Heslin's tonight?

Yeah. Maybe.

We might come through. Cool.

Well, I hope you do.

Hmm.

What time is Elks picking us up?

Um, I do not know. I'm not going, so...

No. No, no, no. No, we're going.

A little beautiful creature, who might be a part of the fairy kingdom like myself,

just invited me to her magical, enchanted forest.

And I'm gonna take this opportunity to fly.

Meh.

"Meh" yourself.

Don't dip out 'cause of that chick.

What?

I need you there for moral support.

No, it's not 'cause of her. I'm not feeling well, that's all.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Elks has Kush.

What kind of Kush?

Take it easy, bro. Easy in, easy out.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Yeah, I know.

Hey. What's up?

She's already talking to someone else.

Man, I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Man, she's just playing me.

Go.

Go. Go. I need to ease into it, bro.

Why?

Henry Page.

I cannot. I can't.

Bye, Henry.

...comes sprinting in, his hands are over his face,

and he just pukes. He just pukes everywhere.

No one knew what to do.

It was between this tiny little crevice

between the wall and the fridge...

I'm just gonna get some water. What?

I'm just gonna get some water.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm good.

Got you this.

Thank you. Yeah.

What?

You look, um...

Thotty?

I was gonna say hot.

Well, it's my costume from last year.

Are you doing okay?

Yeah. In this moment, I'm... I'm okay.

I think you're the most confusing human being

I've ever met.

And I think I'm just the most confused human being

you've ever met and that confuses you.

Yeah, well...

I'm, uh, pretty trashed right now,

so I guess I'm even more confused.

♪ I'm turning you up to getting Down, down, down... ♪

Hey, I've been looking for you.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Uh, so last year, I, uh...

I get it.

It was weird.

We can just be friends.

Cool.

I hooked up with a lot of girls last summer.

Okay.

Yeah, uh, I was just really confused after we...

you know.

I know. I don't know.

I tried to, uh, figure that out, I guess.

But...

I realized that I didn't feel anything for any of them.

I don't necessarily know how to, um, label myself, but...

I know what I feel when you're in front of me.

It's like, uh, we are...

Or, uh, we be.

Then let's just be.

♪ And if it's physical ♪

♪ Keep it subliminal ♪

♪ Show me what you want ♪

♪ Show me a piece Of your heart ♪

♪ A piece of your love ♪

♪ I'm calling you up to getting Down, down, down... ♪

♪ These niggas ain't nothing On you, baby ♪

♪ You got it, got it ♪

♪ The way you run shit And make it rain so well ♪

♪ My Birkin bag... ♪

Oh, no.

I can't dance. No.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ These niggas ain't 'Bout it, 'bout it ♪

♪ These niggas ain't nothing On you, baby ♪

♪ You got it, got it ♪

♪ The way you run shit And make it rain so well ♪

♪ My Birkin bag My pinky ring ♪

♪ Coattail ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪ ♪ No, no ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪ ♪ Don't ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪ ♪ Don't ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪ ♪ Don't ♪

♪ Don't stop looking at me ♪

♪ Don't stop Looking at me ♪

♪ Don't stop... ♪

Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

I hope you don't have high expectations...

'cause I'm probably pretty rusty.

Well, I hope you don't have high expectations either,

'cause I've never done this before.

Do you have a condom?

Yeah. Yeah.

I should get it? Get it.

Get it, okay.

Oh. Oh, God.

Let me do it. Okay.

I'm sorry. I laugh when I'm nervous.

Do you want me to do it? Yeah. Sure.

Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry. Yeah?

Don't try to be good at it, okay?

Just be here with me.

Okay.

Leave your message.

Um, hey, Grace. Um, just want to say hi,

and that, um...

you know, despite my lack of experience,

um, hope that, uh, last night just kind of meant

a tiny fraction to you as it meant to me.

And, yeah, um...

Then also, I promise if we ever get the chance to do it again, um...

I mean, 'cause not that...

I'm not presumptuous enough to think that we will,

but, like, if we do, then, uh, you know,

I promise that it'll be better.

Uh, no, that I'll be better.

Um, 'cause, uh, you know,

um, practice does make, uh, perfect.

So, uh, yeah.

Bye-bye.

Oh, fuck, that was dumb.

What?

Surprise. How did this happen?

It was just time.

Shit. All right.

Um, where are we going?

You'll see.

♪ Monochrome It's a Saturn world ♪

♪ Lying beneath the rings ♪

♪ And they tell me We don't have a long time ♪

♪ Till our decline ♪

♪ All the grown men Are set in their ways ♪

♪ Shining in the street ♪

♪ And they tell me We don't have a long time ♪

♪ A great design ♪

We used to come here all the time before he died.

I loved this drive.

I want to be able to love it again.

I needed you here.

I needed your support.

Hold this.

Is this from the factory?

What does it mean?

"Save me, and I will save you."

That was us.

I want to move on.

♪ So let's pretend ♪

♪ That we have no weight... ♪

I'm telling you, Sharma...

...dropped his glasses right into the toilet.

He nearly flushed them down there.

But he fished them out, 'cause he got the same glasses on.

♪ We're young, have time... ♪

No, I sw... I...

Can I join you guys?

♪ Out we run ♪

Okay. Okay, got it?

Yeah, that was very helpful. Okay, good.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Hey, with all the news that's fit to print,

your first issue!

Congratulations!

Well... Hmm. Yeah.

♪ I won't give it up tonight ♪

♪ I won't give it up Tonight ♪

♪ I won't give it up tonight ♪

♪ I won't give it up Tonight ♪

Stay here.

Whose car is that? Stay here, Henry.

Aren't you supposed to remember that?

No, I don't remember that!

I don't want... No, no. Go! Go!

Hey.

That your mom?

No.

Yeah. It doesn't... matter.

You all right?

I'm fine. Can we go?

So do you live with your dad?

I mean,

I just feel like I don't know anything about your family.

Well, yeah. Well, okay, you know enough.

Something obviously just happened,

so I don't know how I'm supposed to help you...

You don't. You don't help me.

I didn't ask for your help, so stop trying to help me.

Stop trying to fix me, all right?

Oh, look at this.

It's a lollygagging convention in here.

Let's go, people.

We have three more issues to plan.

I'd love to see a little focus, please.

Henry, where's your partner in crime?

I don't know.

She sick?

I don't know.

Today's the anniversary of her accident.

Oh, dear. I, um... I didn't know that.

Yeah. East River had a candlelight vigil for her boyfriend.

Does she drive? Does she have her license?

Should we be...

You're probably right about that.

Leave your message.

I would think so. Would you?

Yeah.

I don't know. Muck around.

Muck around a little more. Muck.

What? Stop it. No. Ow.

Stop. Muck around.

Hankard. Hankard. Yo, where you going?

Henry?

That you?

Yeah.

Come on in.

I must have fallen asleep in front of the tube.

I'm Martin, by the way.

Oh.

This is my wife Sarah.

- Hi. - Hello.

Grace has talked a lot about you.

Says you've been a good friend.

Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that she was okay,

'cause I didn't talk to her today.

Um, and, you know,

given what day it is, I... I, uh...

Well, she should be home pretty soon.

You can wait upstairs if you want.

Um, well, thank you. It was good meeting you guys.

Yeah. Nice meeting you, Henry. Yeah.

So now you know.

- Do you live here? - Yeah.

I moved in a month before the accident to get away from my mom.

She was drinking a lot, and she was in really bad shape.

But you're still here.

Where else was I supposed to go, my mom's boyfriend's couch?

You went back for that?

Do you even wash his clothes?

'Cause you wear his clothes, right?

I'm doing the best that I can.

You're doing the best you can, but you're living in his fucking room?

We grew up together.

He was... he was my family.

I'm not asking you to let him go.

I'm giving you all that I can.

And this... confusion and this craziness

is what that looks like.

And you can't handle it, but I never expected you to.

What else could I possibly give you?

What else can you give me?

Are you fucking...

Oh, this is crazy. This is crazy.

Just stop. No, you stop!

Stop leading me on! I just...

I didn't start dating you out of nowhere or something.

I told you to leave me alone.

Yeah, but then you told me not to.

Well, because I don't know.

Because I don't know.

I know. I don't know.

I'm confused, Henry.

I don't know. I know!

I've known since, like, the very beginning that I love you.

I can't pretend to be better because that's what you want.

You said you wanted to get better. I do.

I'm not ready yet. I'm not...

I do, but I'm not ready yet.

Well, I...

I don't care. All right?

Yes, you do. I... No, I don't.

I don't care.

Seriously, I want you exactly the way you are.

But you just got to let me in and talk to me.

I love you.

Why do you kiss me like that?

Like what?

Like you're in love with me.

It's the only way I know how.

Plate's for you in the oven, toots.

- Henry? - What?

What's wrong? Nothing.

What's wrong? Nothing.

Come here. Come on.

We just want to know what's going on.

Is it Grace?

It's just regular shit that regular people go through

that you are not gonna understand.

Oh, come on. We're not regular people?

No. No. Are you fucking kidding me?

Your relationship's been perfect since you were my age.

I got this. No, no, no, no, no.

We should go. Mom.

He's right. You don't understand.

I got it.

Did you guys break up? Yeah.

I mean, I don't even know if we were actually together.

Maybe it's just a bump in the road.

No, she doesn't want me.

What happened?

She's in love with someone else.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

You want the good news or the bad news?

Neither.

Well, the bad news is it's gonna hurt.

Your brain has gotten used to a steady stream

of dopamine and oxytocin. Here we go again.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, but that's what causes

all those blissed-out feelings of love.

And now it's replaced with stress hormones.

They're gonna make you feel like garbage.

Headaches, tight muscles, tight chest.

Your body's craving those feel-good chemicals.

It's basically withdrawal.

Oh, awesome.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yesterday was the first day I didn't think about him.

And tomorrow I'm going on my first date.

Henry. Hmm?

Love... it's a chemical reaction that comes and goes.

So is heartbreak.

Your brain adjusts.

Your body chemistry changes back to normal.

It's all a waste of time.

Oh, no.

Hey.

Would you take it all back if you could?

You can't.

She's a part of you now.

Are you trying to...

Are you gonna copy me this whole time? Okay.

No, but I actually have a real question. Wait.

You can't do that. What's over there?

I did it.

I did it.

Where you going?

Um... I don't know.

Just don't want to watch this.

Wow.

You just can't be happy for anybody else. Boo.

Don't even... don't do that.

Don't do that.

Whoa.

Watch it!

- Oh! - Whoa, did you see that?

Grace?

Are you okay? I need to...

- I need to tell you. - What? What do you need?

I need to tell you.

- What? - I need to say it, Dom.

I need to say it, Dom.

Okay, say it.

It should have been me.

It should have been me.

It should have been me.

No. No. It should have been me.

Yes, you fucking asshole!

It was my fault!

No, it wasn't, Grace. Yes, it was.

- No, it wasn't. - You told me to stop teasing you.

You told me.

You told me, and I didn't listen.

I didn't listen. It's okay.

I just wanted to make you laugh.

- It's okay. It's okay. - But you told me to stop.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's all right.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

I felt him swerve.

And I knew, in that fraction of a second,

that we were gonna crash.

And my last thought before it happened was, "Shit."

The last thought I was about to have in my entire life was, "Shit."

I didn't think about Dom.

I didn't even think about him.

Does that make me a bad person, Henry?

No.

Makes you a person.

I wonder what he was thinking about.

I wonder what his last thought was.

He was thinking about you, Grace.

Guarantee it.

I was gonna marry him in that dress.

No, you keep it. It's cold out.

Quick announcement, everyone.

If I might have everyone's attention for a moment, please.

Thank you.

So, I wanted to let you know that Grace Town has decided

to take some time off from school

to deal with some personal issues.

And, um, when she returns, she'd prefer to focus on her studies

rather than the newspaper.

I'm sure we'll all miss her very much,

but, uh, it does sound like

this is the best decision for her at this time.

I know this news might come as a disappointment,

but I want you to know that I have the utmost faith

in this group of people.

To produce three stellar issues.

When you're a teenager,

the chemicals in your brain drive you to make decisions

that rip you away from the safety of your childhood

and drag you into the wilderness of adulthood.

A friend once told me that adults are just

scarred kids who were lucky enough

to make it out of teenage limbo alive.

I urge you to go outside

and look at the world through that prism.

Look at your parents, your older siblings.

Look at strangers you pass on the street.

Look at them and imagine that, at one point in their lives,

they too walked these halls.

They too felt the unbearable loneliness,

the absolute unbearable powerlessness

and darkness of being young.

Number two!

This is three.

We tend to think of scars as ugly or imperfect...

as things we want to hide or forget.

But they never go away.

As I write this,

my last editorial...

I finally understand

that scars are not reminders of what's been broken,

but rather of what's been created.

Hey. Hey.

Let's...

Congratulations.

Yeah, you too.

Thank you. Yeah.

Where are you off to next year?

I'm gonna go to Bennington.

It's a school in Vermont.

It's good for writing. Nice.

What are you doing?

Uh, I'm taking a year off.

Just continuing therapy.

Oh.

Yeah, I was never gonna be ready until I was...

ready, you know?

Of course you know.

Yeah.

I have to go find my words again.

Yeah.

You will.

I just want to say...

you are an extraordinary collection of atoms, Henry Page.

Hey, is that Hankard?

Hankard! Hankard!

Let's go.

Um, I think I'm gonna walk.

Gonna walk?

Hey, whoa.

I'm gonna walk too.

♪ Feel this burning Love of mine ♪

♪ It's no good Unless it's real... ♪

It's a long walk. Want some company?

Yeah, I do.

♪ Wild-eyed turning ♪

♪ Till we're running from it ♪

♪ I'd take care of you ♪

♪ If you'd ask me to ♪

♪ In a year or two ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ You say swimming in the lake ♪

♪ We'll come across a snake ♪

♪ It is real And then it's fake ♪

♪ Feel its heartbeat ♪

♪ Feel what you heat ♪

♪ Far so fast It feels too late ♪

♪ I'd take care of you ♪

♪ If you'd ask me to ♪

♪ In a year or two ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

♪ I'll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That's true ♪

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