Original subtitles

Oh, Jesus, Mac,

It's the middle of the night.

Mm-hmm.

Come on, you guys, off and on. Off your backs and on your feet!

Let's go, son.

What's the matter, you whack off too much last night?

Come on, you can't get strong when you're lyin' down.

Rise and shine. On your feet.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Oh, no.

Reveille, Reveille.

Come on, come on, darling.

Time to get up. No.

Oh...

We gonna practice with live ammo today, major?

Oh, no.

Colonel. Colonel now, sweetheart. Remember that.

Keep that in the forefront of that skull.

It means more greenbacks to buy designer jeans

for this sexy little bod.

Come on, let's go.

See, now I knew army life had its advantages.

Yeah. Up and out.

No, it's cold!

How did we do, colonel?

How'd we do? We did great.

Let's eat.

Ah. Oh.

You're gonna make it, kids.

You gotta be strong.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a jungle out there.

Listen up.

Don't forget to water the lawn, put out the garbage.

Be back the day after tomorrow at 1300.

Don't forget to watch me on TV tonight, huh?

We won't.

So... You've got your orders?

Yes. Hold down the fort, get good grades,

Screw off as little as possible.

And try to get a couple of good nights' sleep.

You don't worry about that.

Next week we're all gonna party, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, and say hi to the president for us.

Ha!

Will do.

Bye, mom. You be good.

We're all real proud of you, dad.

Thanks, Loren.

It's about time these armchair bastards gave me this.

Okay.

Now, the only thing off-limit in the fridge are the T-bones.

Here. I'll be disappointed if you don't spend it all.

Thanks, mom. Okay.

Whoops.

Bye, sweetheart. Bye.

Okay. Have fun.

Okay. Bye, grunts.

Bye. Bye, dad.

Have fun, you guys.

Police were brought in

to break up the crowds estimated as 2000.

Government officials called the demonstrations "communist-inspired."

Hey, boys, it's not gonna happen.

They're not gonna show it.

Today, one of our own local boys...

Hey, there it is!

...Colonel John MacWilliams

Was presented with a special presidential

commendation for valor.

He single-handedly subdued

five hijackers on a Boeing 747

last October 14th.

MacWilliams negotiated

for over four hours with the terrorists,

who threatened to blow up the plane.

Aw, shit, Jimmy, this is your date.

Hello.

Yeah, speaking.

Is it her?

What?

Come on. Is it her? Hold on a sec.

No, Jimmy, it's not her.

...75 amazing missions against terrorism.

He said he wanted to take this opportunity

to put the forces of tyranny on alert.

"Let them think twice," he said.

Keep it down.

Terrorism cannot... Shut up!

And will not be tolerated.

And now here's Bob Sherman with the weather.

Both of them.

You're sure?

What is it?

The man said Mac and Mom are dead.

Killed in a car crash.

You're brave kids. You're real brave.

Thank you, Colonel Jenkins.

Loren.

It's Mac's watch.

Had it brought out

by special transport this morning.

Listen, come visit Jane and me out in Tucson.

We'd love to have you.

If there's anything we can do to help,

I want you to call us.

We appreciate it.

Remember, whatever you do,

I'm with you and ready to help in any way that I can.

Take care of yourselves.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you for coming out.

Thank you, Colonel Jenkins.

Be good.

I'll try.

Okay.

Loren? Hmm.

Can I have it?

What?

The watch.

Yeah. Sure.

Loren. Abby.

Uncle Charlie? Yeah.

Loren.

Hi, Uncle Charlie.

I, uh...

I guess it's been quite a while, hasn't it?

But from now on, you're gonna be seein' a lot of me.

I'm here to help. We don't wanna be any trouble.

Oh, we're not talkin' trouble, Loren.

We're talkin' family now.

You know, your father and I,

We were very close when we were boys.

Did he ever tell you this?

I loved him.

That son of a bitch.

Hey, listen.

Your Uncle Charlie, he's not about to let

some dried-up ol' prune of a social worker

put you in some foster home.

No way, not even close.

You know what I'm doin'?

I'm taking you both to Florida

to live with me and your Aunt Fay.

She's a wonderful woman, your Aunt Fay.

But wait till you see the place I got.

You're gonna love it.

Now, Colonel Jenkins and them have already made arrangements

with the people over at the base to take care of the house

and the luggage and all that stuff.

When you get off the bus in Florida,

I'll be there to meet you.

Hey, over here!

Hello!

Hey!

How you doin'?

Okay, welcome to Florida, kids.

Sorry I'm late.

I got hung up.

Hi, Abby. Hi.

How you doing, Loren? Great.

What a great car! Thanks.

What year is this?

1960.

See, my theory is,

1960 was the prime year of our country.

Kennedy was elected,

interest rates were four percent,

and Elvis Presley was singin' "Now or Never."

And no extravagance was spared on this here vehicle.

Might not be New York City or Miami down here,

but it's got very strong points.

And we're gonna have a good time.

Great time together.

That's our sign there, kids.

Santa's Funland.

That's where we're headed.

Hi, darlin'!

Hi. Hi.

Hey, honey, come on over here.

Look who I found.

Hi, kids. How are you?

Hi, sweetheart.

Abby? Mm-hmm.

Loren.

I'm glad you all are here.

I'm Fay. My gal.

I-I'll get it.

Charlie, why don't you, uh, show 'em around?

I... I haven't had a chance to finish your room,

But, uh, well, we'll get to it later.

That's all right. We'll take care of it.

You hear that, honey? I told you they were great kids.

Well, come on.

Follow me.

Loren, look!

Chickens, ducks, geese,

we got it all.

This goat over here...

Her name is Henrietta.

She's pregnant.

The other goat over here, her name's Helen.

And this calf here... her name's Mathilda.

Go ahead, introduce yourself.

Look at you!

What's the rabbit's name?

I don't believe she has a name.

Hey, baby.

What do you think she is?

Oh, Molly. Definitely a Molly.

How do you like it?

Well, it's something.

Yeah. Well, I know it needs work.

It took every penny I had to get it,

But it's worth it.

Little spit, polish and sweat,

I can see hundreds of people amblin' down these streets,

Money in both hands.

What with Disney world and Epcot a couple hours north,

this'll be the perfect place for people to stop en route.

Little appetizer.

Now, consider this.

We're only 25 minutes away from the third-biggest interstate

in the southern United States.

Now, do you have any idea

how many cars travel that road

each and every single day?

No, sir. Neither do I.

But you can bet it's plenty.

Any market researcher could tell you that.

And every one of 'em means money in our pockets.

Here's where you'll be staying.

Uh-huh.

Hello.

I know it needs a little work.

It ain't exactly the Hilton, but, uh...

It'll be fine.

Oh, good. Terrific.

I'm glad.

Oh, god, you kids must be starvin'.

Look, I'll get the grill goin',

we'll have ourselves a little celebration

with burgers and dogs.

All right? Sure.

All right.

Oh, my god.

Well, it could be worse.

How? How?

We're supposed to sleep in here together?

Yeah, well, I'll rig up

a curtain or something, it'll be alright.

Well, like the man said, it needs a little work.

Hey, Loren. Uh-huh.

What do you think?

I think it needs a little work.

Aah! Very funny.

Hi, beautiful.

Aw, you're such a hot dog.

Ah!

If X equals eight,

Then Y must be equal to what?

Now, three times eight squared

Plus one half Y squared equals 264, right?

And three times 64

Plus one-half Y squared equals two-sixty...

Uh, David. Would you, please?

Thank you.

192 plus one-half Y squared equals 264.

And one-half Y squared equals sevent...

Would you kids, please?

Y squared equals 144, right?

What does Y equal?

Miss MacWilliams.

It's okay, take your time.

Miss MacWilliams?

I can't say.

The answer is 12.

What was the matter?

Didn't you think that was the right answer?

I knew it was the right answer.

Oh.

Well, I bet it's tough comin' into a new school like this.

No, I'm used to it.

My dad was in the military, so we moved around a lot.

He died?

Both my parents died.

I'm sorry.

Uh, listen, thanks for trying to help me out in class.

Sure. Whoa!

Can I see you again?

Sure.

When?

Tomorrow in algebra.

Bye!

Ha!

The mole is good for her, I think.

Hey. How's everything goin'?

Fine.

Who's that?

Oh, don't worry. That's just her brother.

I'll see you later. I gotta go to class.

Okay. Bye.

Excuse me.

Whoa!

Excuse me, darlin'.

Hey, Gid, come on.

Hey! Hey, hey!

Come on what?

Don't cripple him, JoeBob.

Watch your mouth, boy.

See if there's some more fish in there, Gid.

Is something bothering you, cousin?

No.

Nothing ever bothers me.

Well...

If I was you, I wouldn't bet no money on that.

Yeah!

Hey, what kinda chance do you think old pride's got

Against beatin' that brindle pit coming up from Arkansas?

Chance? Shit.

Gordo wouldn't put that dog in if it wasn't gonna win.

Set 'em up!

You ever lost any money on her, Dutra?

Not yet, and I'd better not.

Fuck, no, that's one hell of a dog, that is.

God damn, Gordo, that wasn't funny!

Shit, Gordo, you missed.

Just go on, set 'em up.

Shit!

I say we stage a little fight

Between that new bitch at school and Moonie.

Aw, where're we gonna find anybody to bet on the Moon?

Aw, shit.

Boy, I'd like to fuck her.

Ooh, yeah!

I'd spend a little time on top of that.

Oh, just a-pushin' and a-pullin'.

Takes some doin', though, gettin' in those pants.

Ah, I could get her.

Says who?

Says me and 50 bucks.

Me too, I could get her.

Fuck her black and blue.

Wanna put a little money on it, Gid?

Who can pop that little cherry?

Hell, yeah!

Fifty bucks says I get her first.

Well, I'm always glad to help a fool.

Any other takers? Shit!

I was born at night, but not last night.

That girl and her jerk-off brother

Wouldn't give you the steam off their shit.

Fifty dollars says she won't put out

To either of you assholes.

Dutra, you always been

Three-bricks shy of a load, anyhow.

Shit, man, that ain't funny!

Damn.

Hey, Loren.

I just made seven more dollars.

This place is gonna be a gold mine.

How's it comin'?

Pretty good, I almost got this section tied together.

Ah, good.

At this rate, we'll have the entire park open in no time.

You know what's holdin' us back?

Huh?

Cash flow.

On account of the generator.

Self-contained electrical unit lights up the entire park...

On gas right out of our own pumps.

See, Loren,

what we got us here is a two-day-a-week income

On seven-day-a-week expenses. Mm-hmm.

It's the night business that counts.

That's what's killin' us.

Now, I know where we can get that generator.

The only goddamn thing, though, this cash-flow problem.

Okay, Abby, let her go!

Yeah!

Goddamn it, we did it!

Okay, that's $4 for the adults,

and three children... Okay, seven all together.

Thanks.

Come on.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to Santa's Funland.

Hey, Abby, honey, would you get that?

Step right on in there, go on.

Hi.

Wanna fill it up, please?

Regular?

Yes, please.

You know, there's a dance Saturday.

Yeah, so I heard.

You goin'?

Oh, I don't know. I haven't decided yet.

I'm goin'.

Go with me.

Why?

Well, because I'm askin' you.

So?

I'm askin' you.

You will have a good time.

You'll go, right?

Look, I don't know.

I mean, we haven't really met.

I'm sorry.

Uh, you owe me $4.

Don't give me bullshit about $4.

I'm talkin' about a dance here.

Look, I have a lot of work to do,

so could you just give me the money?

That's 100.

I can't change that.

Listen, I'm askin' you nicely. Are you gonna go with me?

I don't think so.

Thanks, here's your change.

I'm Dutra.

Ow.

You know what that means?

You know, I come in here and act decent,

and you don't... You turn me down.

Well, I don't fuckin' believe that.

You're crazy.

Crazy?

You want crazy?

Well, I'll show you crazy.

Hi.

Hi.

My name is Gideon Walters.

My friends call me Gid.

This seat is taken... Gid.

You're gonna wreck your head with all this stuff.

What stuff?

All this stuff, books and shit.

Gonna tire out your brain.

Yeah, well.

This is the library.

What you need is a drive-in.

I tell you what.

There's a picture I've seen out there eight times.

You're gonna love it.

It's called Saturday Night Girls.

You'll come back a new person.

I've already seen it.

Uh, listen, if you don't mind, I have work to do.

I ain't gonna ask you again.

Okay.

What I mean is, you ain't gonna get no extra chance.

Now, what day are we gonna go out next week?

We're not going out next week.

Now, if you don't mind,

I really have to get this finished.

How about the week after that?

You ever been to a dog fight?

I mean, a real dog fight.

I don't wanna go out with you.

Why not?

You think you're too good for me?

I'm not interested in finding out.

Would you get lost?

Would you like me to call a teacher?

Nah, you don't gotta call nobody, baby.

You just sit right there and rot!

Aah! Hey!

Ugh.

You okay?

No.

Here, let me do that.

I saw what happened.

Gideon's just one of those people we gotta live with.

I just came in here, I wasn't doing anything.

You don't have to do anything to Gideon.

You don't have to do anything to any of those guys

That hang with Dutra.

Just look at it this way:

he's only pickin' on you 'cause you're a pretty girl.

Hey, Ab.

Hey.

Here you can have my chair.

Oh, thank you.

Loren, this is, uh, Mark Warfield.

This is my brother, Loren.

He's, uh, tutoring me in algebra.

Hi.

You know, Loren, I think that she likes you.

Who?

Over there in the blue sweater.

I could take that.

Well, make a move, boy.

Go over there and fast-talk her.

Well, I'm the strong, silent type, you know.

Me too. Yeah, right.

Let's see. We're gonna make a rose.

See? Hi.

Beautiful. How pretty.

Ooh, you're lookin' good today.

Don't you think she's lookin' good today?

You know, I was just sayin' to my friends,

You're lookin' better and better every day.

Kinda makes comin' to this place more fun,

Just knowin' you're walkin' around

Lookin' as good as you do.

Gives me something to look forward to,

You know what I mean?

And about the other day, you know,

I-I wanted to apologize,

'cause I understand, you didn't know me.

Who I was.

What happened the other day?

We had a difference of opinion.

Anyway, we know each other better now, don't we?

And I'm real glad

that we're gonna be able

to spend some more time together too.

Watch my lips.

No.

You know, bitch, you had your shot and you just fucked it up.

Okay, buddy, clear off.

What are you, made out of mouth?

I don't like you.

I don't like the way you talk.

What was that all about?

That was Eddie Dutra.

He's about as much fun as a rabid dog.

He asked me out the other day, I said no.

I don't like him.

Heh, you don't?

Well, better get in line.

That man gives new meaning to the word "unpleasant."

Best stay out of his face.

Hello.

How are you doin', Mr.. Parker?

Well, hell, yes. We made a deal, didn't we?

You checked with the bank. You got my down payment, right?

Well, you know how investors move

when they see an opportunity.

I just got myself a little infusion of cash.

Well, you hurry up, then.

This is costin' me money every day.

Well, pleasure doin' business with you too.

Who was that?

Oh, I just made a great deal on a diesel generator.

I'm gonna be able to light this whole place up

for almost nothing.

And the roller coaster, it's working great now.

You gotta come out tomorrow and take a look at it, Fay.

Well, that ride alone

could bring in 25, $50,000 a year pure profit.

Charlie, I love you...

but I hope that this isn't gonna be another disappointment,

for your sake.

Things are gonna be all right, honey.

Things are gonna turn out just fine.

Soon enough, we're gonna be fartin' through silk.

You know, that girl that was, uh,

lookin' at me at the cafeteria?

The one you said liked me?

I had a funny thing happen with her today.

I was out on the, uh... on the track,

just coolin' down from a workout,

and she came jogging by.

Actually, she sort of came jiggling by.

Anyway...

She flashed me this big smile, and, uh,

I walked into a wall.

What do you think, am I over my head?

Loren.

You gave him our money, didn't you?

I am real pissed.

About the money?

How much did you give him?

Why didn't you ask me before you gave it to him?

Abby, it wasn't a whole lot of money.

We have to help out around here.

Do we have any left?

Yeah, there's a little left.

He said he wouldn't use it

unless it was absolutely necessary.

How much was it?

It was $2,000.

And you don't think that he's taken that

and sunk it into this crazy place by now?

I don't know.

Well, of course he has, Loren!

He'll sink us into it too.

Would you please stop talking like that?

Why? It's the truth!

It's not the truth.

This is our home now, Abby, they're our family.

Loren, that's all the money we had in the world.

Hey!

Are you all right?

Aw, Charlie, I don't know what to say.

It's a goddamn waste, seeing something like this.

What're you gonna do?

Best I can, Charlie.

Yeah.

Did you, uh...? Did you see anybody?

Nope. Huh.

Get a license plate number?

Nope. Middle of the night, for Chrissake.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, Abby, this is, uh, Sheriff Goodsell

And his daughter, Karen.

My niece, Abby. Hi.

Well, I guess I better look around,

try to find somethin'.

What the hell kind of people

would do something like this, huh?

Ah, it's a shame, Charlie.

Just when you're gettin' this place whipped into shape.

Yeah, would've made a hell of a claim

with the insurance company about the business I'm losin',

'cept this year I ain't carryin' that much insurance.

Huh.

Ain't that always the way?

The year you need it the most, you go shy.

Yeah, ain't that the truth?

Oh, Abby, would you get that, please?

Yeah, I got it.

Goddamn it!

Can I get you somethin' cold to drink, sheriff?

Yeah, yeah, I don't mind if I do.

Karen? Mm-mmm.

Sorry.

Shame about what happened.

Yeah.

Especially after all the work we did.

It's just awful what some people do.

It sure is.

I'm Karen Goodsell, the sheriff's daughter.

Hi.

I'm, uh, Loren...

MacWilliams.

Pretty good with your hands there, Loren.

Apparently not great.

Would you mind handing that up to me?

No, not at all.

You need some help?

Oh, that's okay, I think I got it.

That's all right, I'll help anyway.

There.

There. Now you got 'em together.

Must be weird livin' here.

Oh, not really.

You get used to it.

Here.

It's our home.

Go ahead, nail 'em in.

Oh!

I thought you said you were good with your hands.

I used to be.

One of us is gonna have to go down there and get those.

Uh, they're your boards.

Right.

It must get pretty boring,

Being cooped up here all the time.

Not really.

Sometimes I get my daddy's car.

Maybe we could go for a ride?

Well, I'm usually have a lot of work to do after school.

You must have time for a ride.

Karen!

That's your dad.

Karen, come on!

I gotta go. Let's go!

See you soon?

Yeah, school tomorrow.

Right. Well, bye.

Hey, come on.

You... ha, ha, ha.

Hey, Loren, how many cans of paint we got left?

Just what you got.

Need a couple more.

How about running into town for it?

Sure. I wanna go too.

Take the Cadillac.

Enjoy yourself.

Well, I'll see you in about a half.

Have all the paint?

Uh-huh.

Oh, no problem. No problem.

You can pick it right up this afternoon, anytime.

Okay.

Hi. How you doin'?

Good. I need...

A couple of gallons of powder-blue oil-based enamel.

Oil-based enamel. Right.

Oh, and some acetone.

That one quart?

Make it a couple quarts.

Okay.

Oh, paint thinner.

Right out front.

I'll get it.

I think you missed a spot.

Loren.

Uh-huh?

You better come here.

Here she comes.

Oh, be cool, be cool, be cool.

Would you look at this thing over here?

You know, it's... It's kinda surprisin'

that people would do something like this.

You sorry bastard.

Don't worry, we saw who did it.

Yeah, it was three of the biggest

motherfuckers I ever seen.

Wearin' suits.

Yeah, three-piece ones.

They were real well-dressed.

Yeah. Real good-lookin' too.

Attractive motherfuckers.

John Law.

Trouble here, boys?

Hey, Mike, good thing you showed up.

Two ugly little guys just scratched

the shit out of this guy's car here.

Man, that's awful.

Two ugly little guys, you say.

This Charlie MacWilliams' car?

He's our uncle.

Oh, is that whose car it is?

Well, holy shit. Is he gonna be mad.

Pissed as hell.

Fit to be tied.

So, uh, which way did these two ugly little bastards go?

Well, Mike... it's hard to say.

I think you can take care of it, though.

Have a nice day, now, officer.

Sorry about your car. A shame.

Oops!

Can they get away with this?

Well, you could make a report if you wanted to.

No.

No report.

Sorry, kids.

Be right back.

There you are, back in one piece, I see.

My god.

My car!

Hi.

Do you want me to cut you?

Roll over.

I came here to accept your apology

in payment for the damages to my car.

Get up.

Get down.

Oh. My, my, Snow White.

Where's your money?

Fuck you.

Where's your fuckin' money?

This is for the car.

We're even, you hear me?

It's over.

Thank you. Have a good day.

For the car.

Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful day.

Hey, Molly.

What are you doing?

Oh, get up here.

How did you get up there?

What are you doing, pretty girl, huh?

Come on, my baby.

Hey, Homer.

Hey, Homer, what are you doing?

Woo-hoo.

Hello, baby. You look so pretty.

You look so pretty.

Yes, you are.

Hey, guys. Come on. Time to eat.

Here you go.

Come on. Over here.

Here's some. Come on, let's go, let's get it.

Come on, everybody. Let's go.

Come on.

Come on.

Molly, it's pretty tight in here with all these guys.

Come on, guys. Let's go.

Come on.

Jesus, look at that shit.

Looks like a goddamn spigot.

Chad Bob.

Take that on in to your ma.

Get a joint if I do?

You get the back of my hand if you don't.

I'm old enough to shovel dog shit,

but I ain't old enough for a fuckin' toke?

You watch your mouth, boy.

You're gonna wind up talkin' like a fucking hoodlum.

Now, go on.

All right.

He loves blood, don't he?

That's what being a pit bull's all about:

lovin' blood.

How long do you think she'll stay up there, Gid?

Long as we let her.

Once she gets that taste of blood in her mouth,

there ain't nothing gonna get her off this rope

till she's ready.

Who the hell told you

you could put the dog on the rope?

Oh, come on, Dutra,

we always work her this way.

You buckin' me again?

You want me to cut her down?

Hell, you got her up, leave her up.

Hey, Dutra. Dutra.

Can you front me a little shit till Wednesday?

Tryin' to run a fuckin' business here, Moon.

I ain't frontin' nothin'.

You know I'm good for it.

Money talks, the rest is bullshit!

I didn't take you to raise.

Gonna take another little visit up to Funland.

Let's just let it alone.

What the hell you talkin' about?

I'm just saying...

And I'm saying I don't know

What the fuck you're talkin' about.

I'm just thinkin'...

What the hell you thinkin' for?

You ain't turnin' chickenshit on us, are you, now?

Chickenshit's got nothin' to do with it.

You know I never backed down before.

You want out, you're out.

I don't wanna see you. I don't wanna know you.

You see me comin', you go the other way.

You understand me?

I didn't say I was out, Dutra.

I don't want out. I'm in, I'm always in.

Well, then, shut up.

How you boys doin' today?

The dog's lookin' good, Gordo.

Thank you, sheriff.

Dutra.

You know your break light's out?

No, sir. I did not.

I seen it on the crossroads over there.

Left one didn't come on.

I thought I should tell you.

Well, I appreciate that.

Yeah.

You boys hear about that trouble over at Funland the other day?

Yeah, we did hear somethin' about that.

Shit like that makes me sick.

Don't it make you boys sick?

Can't have shit like that goin' on, can we?

Life's hard enough for us all already.

We don't need to make it any harder, do we?

No, sir.

No, sir. No, we don't.

I'm glad you understand.

Uh, kids, it's time to close up.

I'll get the lights.

Good night, Loren.

Good night, Aunt Fay.

Good night, Ab. Bye.

Homer.

You scared me half to death.

You wanna fuck with someone?

Fuck with me!

You leave my sister alone!

Wanna get your dick knocked in the dirt?

So immature.

Come on!

Kick his ass!

Anybody else wanna fuck with me?

Wanna fuck with my family?

Anybody?

That's it. You understand?

Good goin', Loren.

Way to go!

All right, Loren.

Come on.

Come on, Abby, one more.

Come on, Karen.

All right, I'll see you.

He's gettin' pretty popular.

You don't have to tell me.

You must be proud of him.

Yeah, I am.

You know, nobody ever stood up to them like that.

He gets a clean page in my thought book,

That's for sure.

Come on.

I'm coming.

Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar!

All for Glenby, stand up and holler!

Yay!

I'm too tired.

Here he goes.

Ahh!

Ah!

You know, those cheerleaders keep checking you out.

Really? Uh-huh.

You hot dog. Ha, ha.

Well, if they're checkin' me out,

I have a right to check them out, don't I?

Is that so?

I'll stick with what I got.

You better.

I feel great.

You're all wet and sweaty.

Go take a shower!

I got my daddy's car. Y'all want a ride home?

Sure.

Be right out.

I think I'm in love.

Hi.

What the fuck's the matter with you, man?

What's your problem?

You still having trouble breathing?

Yeah, a little bit.

I feel better, though.

How you doing?

I called Colonel Jenkins today.

Yeah?

How come?

I don't know.

I just keep thinking about Mom and Dad

and how things used to be.

So I know that Colonel Jenkins is as hard as nails,

But I think that he's a lot like... Dad,

and I just had to talk to somebody

that had their shit together.

You know, they just bought a new house.

And their dog just had three puppies.

Loren, I feel terrible.

It's so hard to be strong.

If you're gonna make it, kid, you've gotta be strong.

Hello!

Anybody home?

Loren, you about ready?

Back here, Karen.

Okay, uncle Charlie. Let her rip!

Hey, hey!

My god, look at that!

I finally got that beautiful generator crankin'.

Oh, it's gonna be somethin' when your Aunt Fay comes back

and sees the business we're doin'.

It sure will.

So... so how do you guys like it, huh?

Well, you can see it better.

Yeah, well be sure and tell your friends.

Tell 'em we're gonna be open every night, startin' Friday.

And tell them to get here early.

And avoid the lines.

In fact, make an announcement at the dance, if you can.

Funland is open nights.

Well, we're gonna be late if we don't go, so...

Yeah. All right.

All right, come on. Go on, go on.

Have yourself a good time.

Where's Loren and Karen?

They went out about 10 minutes ago.

Out?

Yeah, I guess they went for a walk.

Yeah, I guess.

Not a bad idea.

No, it's a good idea.

Beat it, faggot.

Hey!

Leave her to me, Gordo. You dance with the sissy.

Why don't you animals leave us alone?

Oh, we're animals?

Oink-oink. Hee-haw. Hee-haw.

You like Gordo's jackass?

Doesn't he do a good jackass?

Yes, Gordo is a good jackass.

You're all drunk.

No, we're animals.

Aah!

This drunken animal's gonna dance.

You'll have to kill me before I dance with you.

Let go.

God.

Just a dance.

Don't you ever give up?

Hee-haw.

Gonna get you.

Moo.

Oink, oink, oink.

Don't you like it?

Give me my bag.

It's so hot in here.

Wanna go outside and get some fresh air?

Okay, just wait for me one second.

Okay.

Sorry.

That's okay.

Aah!

Come on.

No!

Stop!

We're gonna have a little fun.

No!

We'll see who's good enough.

Let me have her, Gid. Let me have her.

Relax. No!

Spread 'em wide, baby.

Please.

Please let me go.

Please! No!

Hold still, you bitch.

Hot damn! Let me go!

Please!

Please, let me go.

What? What did you say?

It's gettin' a little cold out tonight,

Don't you think, Gordo?

Yeah. Yeah!

You think we ought to light ourselves a little fire?

No!

Please, help!

Stop!

No!

Hey, don't get that shit on me, man.

Yeah.

Mark.

I don't see her anywhere.

Don't you move, child.

Stupid fuckin' bitch, bit me on the fuckin' tongue.

You're dyin' to fuck me right now.

Gordo, surprise me.

Don't move.

Hold her down.

I've got her.

Sit tight, girl.

Let me try some of that.

I wasn't good enough for you?

You're sick.

You ready, Gordo?

Shit.

Aaargh!

- Shit! - Come back here, bitch.

I'm gonna fuckin' jam a rifle up here!

Come on, we're goin' huntin'.

Woo-hoo!

- Abby! - Abby!

She's not in there. Come on.

Welcome back.

The party's inside.

Excuse me.

Did you see Dutra?

Yeah, he was here before.

Did he leave before Abby did?

Yeah.

Let me have your keys.

I'm gonna go look for her.

Karen, call your father.

I've gotta find her. Coming back?

Yeah.

Ha!

Bitch.

Aah!

Now, you see, you pushed me. You pushed me too far.

Son of a bitch. Let her go.

You know pit bulls?

This dog would like to rip your fuckin' heart out, Charlie.

The bloody thing can chew through the bone.

Make a mess out of you, old man.

Stop!

Should I let her go?

Stop it!

You want us to stop?

Get off! Get the dog off him!

I got him, I got him.

Got the jugular.

Let go of the dog!

Fuck!

She's gone!

That fuckin' cunt, I want her dead.

Gid, with me!

Get in.

If you see her, shoot.

All right.

Aah!

Hey!

Goddamn it, Moon! It's me!

I'm sorry, JoeBob.

You fool!

There he goes!

It's me!

Shit!

Head that way. All right.

Nice shot.

Sorry, Gid.

Come on.

I'm gonna find you motherfuckers!

Both of you!

I'm gonna kill you!

Damn it, turn this thing off!

Turn this off, man, I mean it!

Jesus Christ! Will you turn that off?

No! No!

Shit.

Abby, look out!

Right this way.

You won't wanna miss a single minute.

You're lookin' at Charlie MacWilliams,

a survivor of near-fatal gunshot wounds

and an eyewitness to the bloodbath at Funland.

Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen,

that's what they called it.

Believe me, when they called it that,

that's what it should have been called.

So hurry, folks,

The guided tour's gonna start in a minute.

Oh, it's, uh, 2.50 for adults, 1.50 for the kiddies.

It's educational and inspirational.

See where the dope-crazed vandals

paid the ultimate price!

Here you go, Aunt Fay.

Oh, thank you. Uncle Charlie was right.

It was just the rotor. Oh, good.

Abby, Abby. We got a picture.

Just give her the camera.

All right, everybody.

Smile.

Ah, ha, ha.

Thank you very much.

Step over there, I'll be with you in a minute.

Uncle Charlie?

Yeah?

Have you seen Mark or Karen?

Uh, no. Not today.

Hey, Loren, look at that crowd.

Everything's comin' up roses.

Do you have any idea how much money we're gonna make?

No, sir. Ha!

Neither do I, but you can bet it's a bundle.

Hey, honey.

Honey.

How much we take in at the box office today?

Listen, we cleared 2,300 last week,

and that is over and above

the 2,000 we paid back to Loren and Abby.

I always knew we'd hit it big.

They're waiting.

Oh, yeah, it's time for the tour.

My, uh, public grows impatient.

Charlie.

Charlie, don't you think

you ought to tell the kids?

Uh, no, I think it can wait, Fay.

Charlie, tell them now. Tell us what?

Your daddy's friend, Colonel Jenkins,

called this morning from Tucson.

Yeah, he heard about what happened out here,

and I guess he figured maybe, uh...

Well, it all boils down to this.

He wants you and Abby to go out there

and live with them.

We'll understand if you wanna go, but...

Yeah, but, uh, we'd sure like you to stay.

What do you think, Ab?

Well, as far as I'm concerned, this is where I live. I'm home.

Me too.

Oh, Abby. That's wonderful.

Hey there, sorry I'm late.

Hey, Karen. Hi.

I got my daddy's car, but I don't know what's wrong.

It's been actin' funny. Where's Mark?

He's waitin' for us, so we probably should get going.

Hey, Loren. Take the caddy.

I don't know, Uncle Charlie.

What do you mean, you don't know?

Take it. Have fun.

Beat the hell out of the damn thing if you want to.

Tell you the truth,

I was thinking about buying a Maserati.

Oh, Charlie!

Oh, come on, we should get going.

Mark's waitin' for us.

Bye-bye.

How are you, folks?

My name is Charlie MacWilliams, your tour guide.

And I'm gonna show you

where each and every one of the dope-crazed vandals

met his gory end.

If you'll just follow me right in here.

Now let me tell you this, folks,

we can all sleep a lot sounder

for knowin' that we've seen the last

of that bunch of bloody loonies.

Here we go, folks. Right this way.

You won't wanna miss a single minute.

Now, you've read about it in the papers.

Now you can see where it actually happened.