Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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* R&B song playing

China: Uh-uh, girl. What are these?

Those are old. Stop.

Oh, my God. I wouldn't fart in these things.

You're nasty.

How are you supposed to get that fine man

you run around here chasing with these type of drawers?

I'm about to start calling you Big Drawers McGraw, girl.

Lonnie: Whatever, ladies.

Thank you very much but I can dress myself.

And I never said he was my man. I said that we were friends.

Lonnie, I see that man got all up in your head.

Got you up in here speaking that Manglish, girl.

Manglish?

China: Yes. Man English.

Do not be speaking his words, "just friends."

You giving up them drawers, ain't you, Lonnie?

Mm-hm.

Which means you like him a whole lot more than friends.

For your information, two nosey-bodies,

Keisha told me that she happened to see Mark

at the mall at a jewelry store today,

and she said that she saw him at the jewelry store

buying a very expensive necklace and...

we're going to dinner tonight, so...

He probably getting all nervous

because he knows she's going out of town with us.

We're going to cut up and men, they start getting suspicious

anytime their girl goes somewhere without them,

thinking she's getting all sexified.

A necklace is fine and all but it ain't no ring

and he ain't gonna get you no ring

until you get him some competition.

Lonnie: Competition?

As in another man, which is exactly

what we're gonna do this weekend.

Okay, this is not a love boat cruise ship,

this is an office retreat.

An office retreat loaded with men, girl.

And the best kind.

Lonnie: Really? And what kind is that?

Employed.

But you definitely ain't gonna get one

unless you get some freak'em clothes, girl.

Lonnie: Freak'em clothes?

Yeah, the kind of clothes that give a man something to look at.

The kind of clothes your behind definitely does not have.

Thank you, ladies, for all your help.

I can dress myself just fine.

I can conduct my affairs and I will be just okay.

-Thank you very much. -Oh, can you now?

Let me tell you something.

I've been playing I Spy since I got here

and I have yet to spy a vibrator.

Come on, now, Lonnie.

What kind of self-respecting woman ain't got no vibrator?

Lonnie: Stop. I actually do have one.

I've already packed it.

Girl, Barbie couldn't even get off on that!

Where'd you get that? A gumball machine?

I hate you, guys.

I don't need you, guys, to help me pack.

I'm good, thank you. I have to get ready for my date.

Anyway, look. We're gonna be back to get you tomorrow.

Be ready. Leave those drawers here.

Hey, Mama.

Lonnie, is that you?

I thought you were out on a date.

No, I cancelled it.

We've got the retreat tomorrow so...

How did your date go?

That wasn't no date.

That was an appetizer.

The main course is later tonight.

I'm ready.

I love you, baby.

You deserve much better than that.

Lonnie, what's up, baby?

Mark, what happened to you?

I've waited all night and I've called you.

You did?

I didn't get the call. Did you leave a message?

No, I didn't leave a message.

But why didn't you call me in the first place?

-What happened? -I'm sorry, man.

You know, something came up.

You should have left a message, though.

You know I would've called you back.

But, I've texted you so what about that?

I know.

I just noticed it, I'm sorry. That's why I'm calling, though.

Look, I'm not too far down the street.

I wanna stop by. I miss you.

Do you, really? Now you want to see me?

Mark: Yes.

I want to see you, too.

You're the greatest, baby. I'll see you soon, all right?

Out.

Bye.

*

Did you like it?

Did I like it?

Baby, I loved it.

You know, you put it on me every time.

Baby, you know you're the one, right?

-Really? -Yes, baby.

That's your phone.

I'll get it.

-What you doing? -Getting your phone.

No, no, no, no.

Don't even worry about it, baby. Just come back.

-It's ringing, I'll just get it. -No, no.

Don't worry about my phone. It's nobody, it's nobody.

Why are you tripping? I can just grab your phone.

-It's not a problem. -No, no.

It's too late. We're chilling, baby

I'm with you, you're with me. We don't need no phone.

We don't care about the phone, baby.

-Okay, fine. -Forget that, okay?

That's ringing again.

-Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Please. -What is the problem?

Why won't you let me get your phone?

There's something wrong with that phone.

No, there's something wrong with you not wanting to know

who's calling you at 3:30 in the morning.

It doesn't matter. It's probably somebody from--

No. It does matter.

Your phone keeps ringing. Let me get the phone.

-No, no. -What is the problem?

-What is the problem? -No, I told you.

-Really? -Yes, you be tripping.

Why you always got to act like that?

-What's getting into you? -What's getting into me?

Your phone is ringing at 3:30 in the morning

and you don't want to answer it. So, who is she?

Huh?

It has to be a girl.

Why? It's nobody.

It has to be somebody.

Somebody's trying to reach you at 3:30.

It doesn't matter, okay?

-No, it does matter. -Why?

Because all of a sudden, you're being shady

about your phone calls at 3:30 in the morning.

Keisha saw you at the jewelry store the other day

-buying a necklace for somebody. -Keisha!

It wasn't for me so it had to be for somebody.

Keisha, man.

I'm so sick and tired of Keisha hating on me.

She's hating on us all the time, baby.

That's for my mother. I bought my mother a necklace.

What are you talking about?

-So-- -Stop it. God.

In all the time I've known you,

you've never mentioned your mother once,

all of a sudden she exists because

-you bought someone a necklace. -Man, you know what?

It's not like we go together or nothing. We're not together.

We're not even dating.

I don't even know why you're tripping, man.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't even own that right now. You on some other stuff, okay?

-Wow. -I'm out of here.

-All right? -You have on my underwear.

I mean... I do?

It was dark and they felt like something I'd wear.

-I'm sorry. -You have my underwear on.

You come here almost every day.

You just sat here and told me that I'm the one

but all of a sudden, we're not dating?

That is dating, Mark.

Maybe not in Manglish but in Womanese, that's dating.

Man, you know what? I'm out of here.

I will holler at you, cause you is tripping for real.

I'm tripping but you still have my underwear.

Girl, weekend's about be off the hook.

Hey, I'm sorry about that.

I didn't see you there. Let me get that for you.

-Thank you. -We're gonna be on time.

Let's go, we don't want to be late.

Dan: Hey, would you just get in the car?

-China: Will you just shut up? -Dan: Gosh!

*

This retreat is going to be amazing.

All right? Now, corporate is always finding ways

to increase productivity,

so I need you ladies on your A-game

when we get to Nottoway Plantation, okay?

China?

Dan, shut up!

Can you just drive?

Nobody goes to these retreats to do work.

We're just trying to find some booze and chill.

-Booze? -Yes.

What are you talking about, booze?

No, we're going up there to work, okay?

There's no booze going on.

Now, this is the perfect opportunity

to meet Mr. Bostick and spend some quality time with him.

I want Mr. Bostick to see that Human Resources

is a valuable part of his team, okay?

And I'd appreciate it if you'd show me

a little bit of respect once we get there.

-Respect? -Dan: Yes.

Fool, I do not have to respect you.

-Dan: You do. -No, I don't.

Did you forget that you sexually harassed me in 2004?

Dan: Sexually harassed?

Yes.

I'm still blackmailing you right now, Dan.

Remember that.

China, you walked in on me while I was taking a leak.

How is that sexual harassment?

How long are gonna hang this over my head, China?

Huh?

Look at you, causing a fool scene for nothing.

I was just getting ready to help you drive, too, because

you look half asleep with that lazy eye you got up there.

You need to give that thing some Red Bull.

Get it some wings, Dan. Get it some wings.

I don't even have a lazy eye.

Listen, that's not important, okay?

We have a lot riding on this weekend, China.

You're not gonna mess this up for me.

Lonnie, could you please, please talk to her.

Have her nip it in the butt.

Ain't nobody even worried about you.

Lonnie?

Girl, what you up there doing?

-Who are you texting? -Lonnie: No.

Can I have my phone back please?

You was texting Mark, wasn't you?

Technically, I hadn't texted him yet

because I hadn't sent it yet.

I was just trying to get my words together.

I don't know what to say.

Were you gonna send Mark these pictures?

-Can I have my phone back? -No.

Girl, how many times do I gotta tell you?

Nobody want to see you in no period panties.

China, give me my phone.

You look like a grown Harriet Tubman in this photo.

-China! -You can't send this to nobody.

And why does your face look like this?

You catch a cramp mid-picture, didn't you?

What's wrong with you?

Nothing. These pictures are so bad,

Dan ain't even gonna look at 'em and he's a full-blown pervert.

That's how terrible this mess is.

I'm not a pervert and the only thing I'm looking at

is the road ahead of me, okay?

And where's that road because it's definitely

not down Camilla's shirt.

You don't think I see you in the rear view mirror

-trying to look at her? -I was doing no such thing!

Dan, what in the fuck--?

There was an armadillo on the road.

No, there wasn't no armadillo.

What you needed to do was pull over

and get that eye a Red Bull like I told you before.

You was probably looking at boobs driving by

in that other car, weren't you? I don't trust you.

Gonna put my seat belt on

cause it's "click it or ticket" in these streets anyway.

Let me close my shirt all the way up

before you get us killed.

Listen, could we please change the subject?

Please? Let's talk about something else.

You know why we can't talk about anything else, Dan?

Because you almost got everybody in the car killed

trying to get a sneak peek.

You're a sexual harasser, Dan.

You might as well admit it.

Everybody else in the car already know.

Come on, say it with me, Dan.

"I'm a sexual harasser."

Matter of fact, let me wake up Camilla.

Camilla, girl, wake up.

Look, I'm gonna need to cover these girls up.

Put your Mexican children and village up,

-because this fool is nasty. -China, that is enough, okay?

You're harassing me right now. That's what you're doing.

Camilla, listen. Everything is fine, all right?

You don't have to button up your blouse, please.

Your chest looks fine.

Listen, Camilla, I'm sorry. That came out--

All right, everybody stop. China, leave him alone.

Let the man drive. That's why he can't drive.

-You're stressing him out. -Thank you.

Oh, is that what we're doing? Are you serious right now?

You're just going to take the sexual harasser's side?

Okay, so everybody in the car

is gonna forget about what happened to me in 2004?

Is that what we're doing?

We're just gonna forget about what's going on with me?

Listen.

Dan is a sexual harasser.

All he does at work is write people up

and sexually harass people.

Those two things don't even go together, Lonnie.

He needs to be writing himself up.

China, let me tell you something. You know what?

I gave you a Counseling Statement because you,

China, did not process Darnell Fisher's check

on three separate occasions.

Three. I should've fired you!

Why should he get paid? He wasn't doing no work, no way.

He worked you.

Wow. Didn't nobody even ask for your input.

Why don't you go back to sleep

with your Mexican cartel looking self?

You probably smuggling drugs this weekend too, ain't you?

Did somebody check her bags?

I'm sure she got two or three kilos--

Oh, my god. How much longer is this ride?

Oh, what are you trying to say?

I'm trying to say don't start with me,

because I know about you and Darnell Fisher

and don't let me start blackmailing you,

-how about that? -Whatever.

Dan, pull over. I gotta pee.

All right. God!

All right. Come on, Lonnie. You too, girl.

Me? I don't have to go to the bathroom.

That's beside the point.

What self-respecting woman goes to the bathroom alone?

You have Camilla. How many people do you need?

One, if I gotta go number one.

But I gotta go number two,

so I need two. Do the math.

-Disgusting. -Do the math.

You know what, Dan? How about you give me your credit card?

in case it's one of those pay toilets?

Credit card?

What kind of toilet is it?

Fur-lined and gold-plated.

Give me the damn card before I tell everybody

how you jumped in the sack with me.

-What? -What?

When was this?

At the company picnic.

We were in a sack race.

You were my partner.

That's your story.

Who do you think they're gonna believe?

A sexual harasser such as yourself,

or little old me?

Give it up, Dan.

* Give up that money

According to her, he already did.

Hurry up.

-Thank you. -Hurry up.

We don't have time for this, ladies. We need to be there.

Don't slam my--

Man, can you all believe this?

I got Dan's credit card and we're stuck in this mini-mart.

Oh, but they got a TV though.

You think they got the Home Shopping Network?

-Really? -Hockey Wives?

Dancing with the Homies?

I know you want to see some Tondawando.

Look at this mess.

They made a Camilla doll.

Mouth opens wide and everything.

That's wrong, stop.

Wait, wait. Let's see what it's after.

Wiggle your finger in front of it

-and you can get a piece. -Don't be mad.

Don't act like that's not all you think about.

That ain't all I think about.

-Did you bring any condoms? -No, why would I have condoms?

Me neither. We need to get some.

No, we do not.

Yes, we do.

You can't predict what's gonna happen.

It's either condoms now or Plan B's later.

I prefer the condoms.

Well, I don't plan on doing anything.

What y'all heffers about to get?

She wants to buy condoms.

Girl, you cannot get no condoms in here.

Told you.

Why?

I'm a grown woman and I'm very comfortable with my sexuality.

I can get condoms anywhere.

Well, why don't you use your grown eyes

and look at the front of the store?

China: What is he? About 16?

The minute he sees us go up and ask for some condoms,

he's gonna be touching all on his little privates

on his lunch break.

He gonna be thinking about you while he's doing it.

Lonnie: Oh, that's gross.

He does look like a six-foot hormone.

Girl, I do not need him thinking about me that way.

You know I know. I got a gang of brothers.

The minute you go up there,

he's gonna have you bent over that counter

speaking Spanish backwards in his mind.

-That is so gross. -It is.

China: Teenage boys is creative like that when they're horny.

Oh, look at him. Old Dan in the making.

Ew, we're so not buying anything from him.

No, no. This is easy, guys.

Where are you going?

He's eye-raping you.

Abort mission. Abort mission.

-So gross. -That is disgusting.

He is a dirty little boy.

That is gross.

-Camilla: Is he still looking? -Lonnie: Yeah, still looking.

Camilla: Okay, this is what we're gonna do.

We're just gonna go behind the register,

buy a bunch of stuff.

If he's overwhelmed by a bunch of purchases,

he won't even notice.

Why do we have to buy condoms anyway?

Why can't we just leave?

All right. What do you want to get?

I guess, I mean, cough medicine?

That's the only thing behind the register.

The only people buying cough medicine in a place like this

is meth heads in a hurry.

It's illegal to have more than 12 ounces on you

at all times anyway and the way Dan's been driving,

we could get pulled over and then we're gonna go to jail.

I won't do good in a jail.

They don't brush their teeth every day.

You don't either.

Oh, my god, okay. I'll just buy it.

It's at the end of the day.

He's probably gonna whack off anyway.

That's what I'm talking about. That's what I've been saying.

-Come on, let's go. -Okay, don't rush me.

May I help you?

Hi, can we have some condoms please?

What? I didn't catch that.

Boy, you know you caught that. Give her the damn condoms.

Clerk: Anything else?

I don't like that brand. Where are the big ones?

Clerk: The big ones?

The big ones.

Do not give her them big ones.

You know dang-gone well men only buy those

cause they say "big" on 'em.

I like them.

They be looking like a jellybean in a pillowcase.

We should get the sensitive ones.

I heard those are really good.

"I heard those are good." For who?

Them or you?

Ain't you tired of making men feel all good and sleepy?

They be treating us like a corned beef sandwich

and a sleeping pill, just pump-pump.

Lonnie: Ew, okay. Ew!

We'll just take these. Thank you.

Nasty.

Would you guys hurry?

Finally.

Finally, what took you guys so long?

God.

We're on a time schedule.

China: We're on a time schedule?

Well, I had my panties wrapped around my ankles

but when I thought about a pervert like you

being outside I couldn't go.

I'm not a pervert. What are you talking about?

Yeah, you are. Look at this.

Man don't even need no fingers to touch.

Eyes just touching all over us back here.

Listen, Camilla.

I wasn't trying to look at your breasts, okay?

-Yeah you was. -So what are you trying to say?

You don't want to hit the piñata? Candy comes out.

Welcome. Come on, come on. Come on over.

Hey, hey, hey, listen.

That's Mr. Bostick himself.

You ladies be behaving yourself, all right?

Thank you.

Mr. Bostick: Welcome everybody. Come on in. Come on, come on.

Don't worry about the luggage, folks.

Dan: Yes, sir.

Your itineraries will already be in your rooms, so come on.

We have some drinks and hors d'oeuvres first, all right?

-All right. -Thanks a lot, Mr. Bostick.

We are very excited about being here this weekend, sir.

Yes, of course you are.

-Ladies? How are you? -China: Good.

You're looking lovely. Come with me.

So, did you have a good trip?

China: Sure did.

Look, you guys. Champagne.

-Is it free? -China: Yes, it's free.

Stop being so simple.

-I'm gonna take two. -Camilla: So pretty good.

Thank you.

Thanks.

-Lonnie? -Yeah?

Is this shellfish?

Yeah, I think so, why?

I'm allergic. I can't.

I break out everywhere.

We can't be rude and put it back down,

so just take it and smile.

I can't.

-Ladies, how are you? -Hi, Mr. Bostick.

Are you enjoying the hors d'oeuvres?

I had them special made for y'all. Delicious.

Well?

China: She's not used to putting something so small in her mouth.

Oh?

Well, that's what this weekend is all about, young lady.

Expanding our horizons, huh?

Go ahead. Try it.

Mmm. It...

What do you think?

Fish. Fish.

Really good.

Have another bite.

Go ahead.

Listen, I'm gonna tell you something.

I need some great ideas, okay?

I've brought together my brightest minds

from Sales, HR and Production.

I want to try to, one...

cut costs.

Two, cut costs, higher productivity.

Three, cut costs without laying anybody off.

I don't want the company to go down the crapper, huh?

China: Camilla? What is going on?

Enjoy.

-Lonnie: Thank you, Mr. Bostick. -Dan: Thank you, sir.

China: What are you doing?

It's not good. I can't move.

China: What is going on? What are you doing?

I gotta poop. I'm gonna blow.

Camilla, you look like a Mexican jumping bean.

Camilla, what are you talking about? Why?

Camilla: I gotta poop.

Camilla, go sit down.

I told you I couldn't eat that thing.

-Sit down. -Nasty.

Look what I found.

Like what?

Lonnie: It's disgusting.

-It's all your fault, Lonnie. -No, it's not my fault.

I told you I couldn't eat that damn thing.

That's disgusting. Just go to the bathroom.

Oh, my God. Camilla, no, you didn't.

I did.

Just because it doesn't have no sound

-does not mean it doesn't stink. -Oh, my God.

Lonnie: That is so gross.

I can't believe you just did that, Camilla.

Ladies and gentlemen, come on. Join the party.

There's a party out here.

We're just enjoying the beautiful flowers.

Is everything all right?

Everybody feeling all right?

Everything ain't smelling all right.

You know what, we just buried our dog five feet away.

And this is not cool.

It smells a little foul. Come on in and party.

It smells much more nicer inside.

We'll be in...

-Just give us a minute. -Just a minute.

Listen, it would be rude of me to keep you guys out here.

Is your friend okay? Are you sick?

Come on, stand up. Come to the party.

Is it the smell?

She is the smell.

Yeah, I believe so.

Something like that. The smell, yeah.

You seem cold. Take my jacket, come inside.

-I don't think-- - No, no, no.

The jacket, yes. The jacket is a good idea.

-Dan, shut up. -Come on, we're waiting.

Thank you.

You better run south of the border.

-Oh, my God. -You ain't gonna make it.

I think she just did number three on herself.

There's a stain.

-Hey. -Hey.

She's gonna be in there for a while

but I'm sure she's very thankful. Thank you

-for helping my friend. -Oh, no problem.

Yeah.

-You can still smell it? -Just a little.

-Let's move. -All right.

You think it smells bad now,

wait till you get your jacket back.

You know what? She can keep my jacket.

-I'm cool. I'll buy a new one. -Good idea.

I didn't get your name.

Elondra Shepherd. You can call me Lonnie.

Okay. David Bostick.

The boss's son?

Yeah, that's me. The boss's son.

Wow. Impressive.

Excuse me for a moment.

Hey.

All right, I'm coming right now, Pop.

Okay.

I gotta run but we are having

the official meet-and-greet later on tonight.

-I would love to see you there. -Okay, we'll be there.

Okay, cool Will she be okay?

I can't guarantee that.

-But I'll be there. -David: All right, cool.

-I'll see you later. Pleasure. -Nice meeting you.

-Bye. -Alright.

China, can you please go get ready in the bathroom?

There's not enough space for both of us.

I would, but Bubbleguts Johnson over there

broke the toilet.

There is something wrong with you.

-Get this. -What's that?

Mark wants to know where I am.

I'm not playing with you this weekend.

We are sticking to the plan.

One, no talking about no water-head Mark.

Two, cause I know you, no catching feelings, Lonnie.

We're supposed to be having fun.

Girl, besides,

it is 20 men out there to four women.

Odds are in our favor, girl.

Yeah.

-Three. -Three.

Hold up though. Now that I think about it, yeah.

The woman from Sales?

Married.

Girl, she's on the sidelines.

That means it's just me and you in the game.

-Touchdown, Lonnie. -I don't know.

That isn't even me. You know that.

Plus, we've got a lot of work to do,

and you know Dan's... you know, he's counting on us.

I ain't worried about no Dan, girl.

He's just gonna be counting titties.

No, he's really trying to call back right now.

Look at you.

"I can't believe he's trying to call back right now."

Talk about you don't know how to be no heartbreaker.

Playa, playa.

Did he say anything back yet?

Lonnie: No. Oh, yeah, wait, wait. Yeah, he did.

Lonnie?

Lonnie.

Girl, you got the soggy booty. But what are you doing?

What? There's nothing wrong with my dress. I look good.

No, you can't wear no granny panties

with no dress like this.

Lonnie: I look fine.

No, you look like you've got prison hemorrhoids,

like you just did five-to-ten

and been sitting on the toilet seat the whole time ass naked.

Be quiet. I look fine.

Listen, you cannot wear this.

We need to start completely over.

Time for Phase One.

Phase One?

Phase One.

We knew that you were gonna need some help,

so we came prepared.

-Scalpel. -Scalpel?

Yeah. Camera.

*

You would have a leaf-blower.

Camilla: A female heartbreaker never gives up her goodies.

Men's power are in their words.

Our power is in our movements, our dress.

It doesn't matter what you say,

it matters what you do with your body.

No worries.

China: Damn, girl.

You're like the Oracle or the Godfather

or something, ain't you?

Camilla: I am weak.

There is so much I want to share, but I must rest.

Lonnie: Camilla?

She's gone. Oh, lord, she's gone.

China: That hussy ain't gone. She's just sleeping.

Let's go before she starts farting in here again.

Lonnie? Is that you?

Holy armadillo!

Gosh!

Can I get you some raisins?

So, is everybody having a good time?

Everything is just fine, sir. Just lovely.

Lovely?

Did he say lovely?

Everything is fine, sir.

Yes. Ladies, how about you?

Yes.

I'm having an amazing time.

You have a really nice place here.

-A girl could get used to this. -Oh, look at that.

Oh, how's your friend?

-Can I be frank with you? -Please. Of course.

She is jacked up.

I mean, inside's destroyed. All tore back.

You hear that?

Where have you been hiding her, Dan?

And where have you been hiding her?

Who, me?

-Pop, this is Elondra. -Elondra?

Yes, she works in the Human Resources Department

and she looks thirsty. Waiter?

So, Elondra, have you met everyone yet?

No, not yet, sir.

No, no. Not "sir", Eugene.

Everybody calls me Eugene.

Pops, no one calls you Eugene.

Even Mom calls you Mr. Bostick.

Yes, Junior. They do call--

Dan? Doesn't everybody call me Eugene?

-Yes, sir. Mr... Eugene. -See? Eugene.

So, you must be new with the company.

No, actually, I just celebrated two years.

-Two years? -Yes.

Two years squandered in Human Resources.

Um.

Sir, I wouldn't call it squandered.

Yeah, well, I would.

You know why?

Because I believe there's a whole lot more to you

than meets the eye.

In that outfit?

There isn't much that doesn't meet the eye, sir.

Junior, listen.

I need you to go and find Ms. Geirhart.

Have a conversation with her somewhere else, okay?

Pops, there's so many guests around I need to entertain.

I don't want to be rude.

Yes, you don't but you always manage

to be so anyway.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Hey, you can't fire your kid, right?

What do you do, huh?

Dan, can you do me a favor?

I need you to coordinate something...

Dan: Yes, sir.

...somewhere else with somebody far away from here.

Yeah, yes, sir.

China, let's go.

What? I'm not trying to get with Lonnie.

-I'm comfortable right here. -Come on, China.

Mr. Bostick said get out of here.

I'll not be leaving my Lonnie.

Hey.

I would like for you to take a walk with me.

Is that okay?

Certainly it is.

Thank you, Sir.

You'd like to take... Yes.

Come, come.

You look absolutely lovely, you know that?

Yes.

This is absolutely beautiful.

Thank you. Walk this way.

You know, it wasn't so easy.

Started off with a few porta-potties,

got a garbage truck and never looked back.

-Not a bad idea. -Yes.

Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Bostick?

And... what if I was?

That might not be a good idea being

that I do not handle my liquor very well.

You should have told me that. You've got to drink up some.

So tell me something,

how long did you say you've been working for my company?

I just celebrated two years.

Two years.

Okay.

But you don't even know what it is

that I do for your company, do you?

I know what you can do for me right now.

You can drink up.

As much as I would thoroughly enjoy a nightcap,

we do have to be up early in the morning.

We do?

Well, the itinerary says that we do.

It says that we have a fitness part of the weekend,

but in order for me to be energetic,

I do need to get my rest.

You do?

Yes.

Of course.

Of course you do.

Well, I tell you what.

I will...

Hell, I guess I'll just see you on the patio

first thing in the morning.

-First thing in the morning. -Cheers.

-Goodnight, Mr. Bostick. -Goodnight.

* Chester, Chester, staff molester *

Do you ever stop?

-No. -Gosh!

Whatever. Where did Lonnie go?

I don't know.

I don't care.

Did you notice there's like...

four women here?

Yes. And 20 men.

Look at how they're all looking at me.

Somebody's going to occupy China tonight.

Watch this, Dan.

Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

You're making yourself look foolish.

Whatever, boy. I don't look foolish.

I look good.

They cannot keep their eyes off me.

I don't see anyone.

-Stop hating, Dan. -It's no hatred.

I'm just expressing my own opinion.

-You jealous, Dan? -No.

Come on, you're my co-worker, for Pete's sake.

I just don't want all that gossip going on in the office.

-Did you just say "the office?" -Yeah.

Look around. We are the office.

Are you telling? Cause I'm not going to tell on myself.

No.

Gosh!

Who's that guy?

My occupier.

Bye, Dan.

Where are you going?

Yes.

Shoot! My key.

Uh-uh! You don't know who you're messing with, baby. Pow!

-You would do something like-- -Excuse me, excuse me.

Can I talk to you for a second, China?

-Please? If you don't mind. -I'm busy right now, Dan.

Can you come back? Dang!

It's kind of private.

Please, if you don't mind?

The lady busy, man. Come back later.

Look like these fools about to fight over me.

That's not necessary, okay?

Come. Back. Later.

Dan: Hey, listen, buddy.

You don't know who you're messing with, okay, buddy?

I am in charge of all of Human Resources.

And what?

What? I'm going to tell you what.

If you want see your check arrive to you in a timely manner

or if you don't want to accidentally see your hours,

sick time, vacation time, compensation package screwed up,

you will step off right now, buddy. Now!

All right, y'all. It just got real.

You know what? He's serious right now.

I've seen him write somebody up for messing

-with somebody's check once. -That's right.

-China: Y'all just go. -Dan: If it's not enough for you

I'll definitely implement drug testing.

I'll implement a whole bunch of things.

That's right. You get out of here. You too, shorty.

-What has gotten into you? -No, what's gotten into you?

No, you've been acting the fool this whole weekend.

What's going on?

I'm not the one that's been acting up, okay?

I don't like the way you've been carrying yourself.

-Me? -Yes, you.

Boy, this wasn't nothing.

You should have seen me down at Atlanta Freaknik.

-I was pop-locking, I was on a-- -I'm serious.

I'm not joking right now.

Then what is it, Dan?

Damn.

You got me.

Got you what?

Nothing.

No. No.

Whatever. When did you realize, Dan?

Well...

I realized back in...

back in 2004...

I...

I should have sexually harassed you.

You can sexually harass me now, Dan.

Really?

David?

-Hey. -Hey. Everything okay?

Yeah, no. Everything's fine. How about you?

Things are good. I'm having a great time.

Well, you look, wow. You look great.

-Thank you. -Stunning.

-You look great. -Thank you. How's your friends?

Um, looking for one.

Can't find her. The other one is resting.

She's feeling a lot better.

Okay, well send her my love. Hopefully she feels better.

Yeah, she says she's going to join us

tomorrow for the workouts.

Yeah, that's cool.

Have you seen the place?

I saw the gardens but that's about it.

I did not get an official tour yet.

Oh, you've got to let me show you around.

Okay, I'd love that. I'd like that.

Okay, cool

But, maybe later. Definitely later.

Okay. Definitely.

-Definitely later it is, then. -Okay.

-All right? -Sounds good. Yeah.

You know what?

So, are you ready to tuck me in?

Definitely later.

-David: Yeah, definitely. -You guys have a good night.

Okay. You too. Definitely.

Let's get hard.

Woman: Elondra Shepherd.

She's a plain Jane.

Is that a picture of her mother? And her?

In Sears?

"If you're going to find love, love will find you..."

Oh, my God! An amateur.

This is going to be so easy.

Mark Phillips.

Oh, he's cute.

I wonder if her man knows what she's doing?

Oh, my God, David. You scared the hell out of me.

Don't kill me. I'm innocent.

-You cool? -I must look crazy, I'm sorry.

-No, you look good. -Are you sure?

I didn't know I was going to run into anybody.

You look cool, but you know, I'm going to keep it real.

I'm a little disappointed in you.

Why? What did I do?

Well, I was about to eat that last piece of cheesecake

and you beat me to the punch. So, I'm a little hot about that.

Now, you owe me one. All right?

-Go ahead, you tripping. -No, we can share it.

-Oh we can? -Sure, we can share.

Yes. I'm... Yes.

I'm cool with that.

I'm sorry again. I know that...

I'm sorry I look super-insane right now.

I didn't know I was going to run into anybody.

Stop it. You look fine.

It's four in the morning.

Yeah, it's four in the morning

and you look like somebody made you.

-Somebody made me? -Yes.

You're crazy.

Like Weird Science Part Two or something.

Oh, okay. So, I'm Kelly LeBrock?

Wait a minute. You know about that movie?

Do I know the movie? What are you talking about?

-It's one of my favorite movies. -Yeah, right.

Come on, yeah right.

Weird Science is your favorite movie?

-That's one of my-- -If it's your favorite movie,

who's your favorite character? That's a stupid question.

That's not a stupid question.

Actually, my favorite character is Chet.

Believe it or not.

Chet, the brother from Hell?

Yep, because he made me feel like I was good,

I was good to be the only child.

-You know what I mean? -Wow.

He was confident.

Grew up real tall.

Chet had to be like the worst brother ever in the world.

-He was cool. -That's who you choose?

No, he was cool, he was cool.

Well, you do know that black people

aren't supposed to know about that movie?

Why you say that?

Yo, everybody I know black loves that movie. You're crazy.

Clearly, we run in two different circles

cause if my friends even heard us having this conversation,

I would never hear the end of it.

Like, when I go to the movies,

I have to sit in the back, like in the shadows

so nobody sees me.

Listen.

It's the 21st Century.

You can love who you love and like what you like.

All right? It's okay. You ain't got to be ashamed.

-Okay. -All right? I'm just--

So, what about Pretty In Pink?

Okay, you lost me, all right?

What about Pretty In Pink? Clueless?

-Ten Things I Hate About You? -Go back to the shadows, girl.

Go back and stay in the back.

Those movies are good movies.

I gotta admit though I'm really happy I met you.

You're cool.

-Don't say that. -Why not?

Because until today, you didn't even know I existed.

What are you talking about? That's not true.

Yes it is. Okay, who do you think

read all of those performance reports you wrote, huh?

-Me. -You?

Okay, now you're surprised. Me.

I did that.

Okay? I'm focused.

Okay, so all of a sudden, I'm supposed to believe

that you wanted to meet me because I just wrote

great reports and secretly,

you yearn to be a school teacher.

Well, it's funny you say that but yes.

Actually, yes.

And, I know you might not believe me,

but I do have my teaching credentials

and I know it's probably not realistic in my life,

well, I know it's not, but it's still my dream.

It doesn't have to be a dream. You could do that.

It doesn't sound crazy.

You don't have to work for your dad.

But, you know.

At the end of the day, you don't have to worry about it.

-Your secret's safe with me. -Thank you.

I appreciate that.

So, what about you?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I want to be a flower shop owner.

So, why don't you?

Yeah, right. I live with my mother.

Paying rent on my own is kind of hard right now so...

Not realistically a dream...

And you ate all the cheesecake.

I am so sorry--

You owe me another slice of cheesecake.

-I promise. I got you. -You owe me a whole...

I'm gonna get one from The Cheesecake Factory for you.

-Okay. -All right?

Wake up, sleepyhead. It's a beautiful morning

and the physical fitness session is about to start.

No.

Get up.

I don't wanna go.

You are feeling a lot better this morning.

I do feel great.

I can tell. What are you wearing?

Where did you get this outfit from?

The Marvel Comics store?

These are my workout clothes, now come on.

Mr. Bostick is a fitness fanatic

and if we miss this, he's gonna be mad.

-I'm staying in bed. -No, you're not.

I don't want to go alone,

and China's big ass isn't going go.

No, I don't know how to work out.

-I don't want to. -Camilla: No.

I come from a long line of people in my family

that do not own gym memberships.

So? You don't need to know how to work out.

All you need to know how to do is how to bend,

wiggle and stretch.

I hate you and I hate your body

and I'm definitely staying in bed.

-Someone's at the door. -Lonnie: You suck, I hate you.

-Who is it? -No one.

No one?

They just left some flowers.

For who?

It doesn't say who they're for or who they're from

but they can't be for China because the only thing

she ever gets delivered to her door are restraining orders.

So either they are for you or, most likely, for me.

What does the card say?

It say "Definitely later."

That's what it says?

Oh, those are for me.

Somebody's been working some magic.

Yes.

Something just bit me.

Oh, my God, something just bit me.

Maybe it was a bee. Maybe the flowers--

God forgive me. I need to repent.

Oh my God!

I can't breathe. I can't... I can't...

Are you okay?

I'm so weak.

This has to be the worst day

in Mexican-American history for you.

-Hey, hey. -Stop.

Come on. Can't you see she's hurting?

How are you feeling?

Better.

Okay, look, it's serious.

You know I love you but can you please

just tell me how you get stung by a bee

in your neck in your own room?

In the flowers.

Uh-uh! Who sent your stinky behind some flowers?

Lonnie.

You sent this heffer some flowers?

No, somebody sent me flowers.

Girl!

I told you it was gonna work, didn't I?

We got all the boys wanting our milkshakes.

I guess that's what you were doing?

That's not right, China.

No, no, babe.

I'm in love.

Okay, wait a minute. You're in what?

Girl.

Listen.

Everything I said was true.

-Yeah. -It works.

-I got my man. -That's right.

I heard this heffer over here whooping and hollering,

but so was I.

Oh, my God. I can't.

Milla, I love you, girl.

If I knew it was Attack of the Killer Bees,

I would've been over here with Raid, flyswatters

Border Patrol, everything for you.

I love you. I love you.

Lonnie: Okay, it's time to go work out.

I'm not going.

You can't go dressed like that.

Why? I'm ready.

I look cute.

No.

You look like the Care Bears' nephew.

Jumping jacks. Come on. 98... 99... 100.

Yeah. Now, let's... Let's get your feet moving.

Get your feet. You wanna get the burn.

-Burn, burn. -Feel the burn. Feel the burn.

Burn it. Come on.

Pump it! You got to go around in circles.

Get low, get low.

Get low, get down there.

Now wave your body with it,

wave your body with it. That's how we do it.

That's how we do it. You feel that all up in here.

All up in here.

You're looking tired.

Pump it up, pump it up.

Yeah.

Y'all got to get fired up, y'all got to get fired up.

All right, here we go.

Knees up, knees up.

Knees up.

Knees up, knees up, knees up. Like you're dancing.

Knees up, knees up.

We're getting tired. This is a good workout, huh?

Your cardio getting ready, your cardio getting ready.

Get your knees up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoo.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on. Back to jumping jacks. One...

Two... three... four.

What's wrong with you over there, come on, boy.

Keep it up. You can do it better. Keep it up.

Come on. Here we go, here we go.

Why is everybody stopping?

Don't stop. Push it, push it. Yeah, come on.

Sorry I'm late. You guys don't have to stop.

I'm sorry.

Everyone take five.

-Hell. -You don't have to stop.

-No, no. Take ten. -No, you don't have to do that.

I can just jump in line and start working out with them.

They are maggots.

They're maggots.

I'm 68 years old and they can't keep up with me.

-You're 68? -Sixty-eight.

I would have never guessed that. What is your secret?

The secret... The secret is...

water, women, and $69.99.

$69.99?

That's my workout DVD.

It's cheap and it's reasonable.

Well, I am a woman and I did just have some water.

-But I don't have $69.99. -For you, it is free.

Thank you. That's so sweet of you.

Harvey: Oh, Lord.

-Mr. Blanks? -Harvey: Yes?

-Great workout. -Mmm-Hm.

Sorry it's over so soon.

It ain't over.

-What? -Line up.

Five mile run in two minutes.

You.

Go, go. Line up.

Let her go.

You don't mind if I start stretching?

Do I mind?

Everyone needs a good stretch before they start running.

Go ahead. Stretch. Go ahead.

You gotta stretch stretch.

Stretch, stretch, stretch. Try it..

Yeah. Like that, like that.

I was thinking that...

I get a little nervous, you know,

working out in front of people so maybe like later on

-I can get a private session. -Hell, we can do it right now.

Work out is over.

Everyone get out.

No. We can do it another time. We don't have to do it now.

No, no. That's fine.

What we'll do is we'll start off with a little run

and even a quicker workout.

It will only be about four hours, I promise.

Four hours is nothing, babe. Oh, here you go.

Oh, I hate to miss that but--

You're gonna miss it?

I have a workshop to go to.

-Girl, you're already-- -Hey, young man.

Great workout, Mr. Blanks.

-I'm glad you liked it. -Yeah, all right.

It's about to get better for me.

Mr. Bostick?

Do you mind if I take baby girl here

on a brisk run this morning?

I'm sure she won't be missed.

Oh, she will definitely be missed.

Actually, you know, I don't mind under one condition.

What's that?

I tag along.

Pops, you know you've got a lot on your schedule today.

You really can't do this.

No, son, I will. And I can.

David?

Handle it. Be right back.

Here we go again.

Mind if I tag along?

Yes, I do.

Shall we?

Actually, she should come along.

Mr. Bostick: Actually, she's just fine where she is.

Come on, baby, with me.

Harvey: No! wait, man.

I've been dealing with you for 30 years,

you gonna come mess with me now?

Mr. Bostick: Thirty years too long.

-Mr. Bostick: Slow down. -Harvey: Here we go.

We're gonna do it.

Mr. Bostick: You're doing great, sweetheart, you're doing great.

Lonnie: Wait a minute.

Woman down.

Hey, you okay? Anything I can do to help?

No, no, no. Is there anything I can do?

I asked her first. I asked her first.

I think I sprained my ankle walking up the hill.

I told you not to go that way.

Okay, we could have gone another trail.

You know what?

No worries, no worries.

I know how to solve this.

I'm gonna carry you.

No!

-Put her down. -I'm gonna carry her back.

Put her down. I got this under control.

I'm gonna carry her

and I don't want to hear another word about it.

No, no. I can walk. I will walk by myself.

She says she can walk, okay?

I'm sorry.

I know how to fix this.

How? What you got?

I'm gonna race you for the lady's honor.

Sir? Are you prepared to lose with honor?

-Count of three. -Your count or mine?

Your's, dear sir.

-What's that supposed to mean? -That's a straight line.

-That ain't no straight line. -That line is much straighter.

Is his line straighter? Mine is straighter.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

One.

I'll be right back for you, baby.

-Hey, hey, hey. Two. -Three.

Oh, there ain't no cheating. There ain't no cheating forever.

Mr. Bostick: Come on now.

-Hey, Miss Geirhart. -Hi.

I'm glad to get you alone.

I need to apologize.

Apologize for what?

About last night, that little scene with David?

I'm sorry you had to see that.

David?

Miss Geirhart, I thought you were married.

Oh, I am married.

But, apparently that doesn't mean anything to David.

Are you saying that David has a thing for you?

If by "thing" you're talking about that little thing

that he has to keep in his pants, yes.

But if you think he has feelings for me?

Hardly not.

He just wants something he hasn't had.

What?

I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't made his way

through the whole Human Resource Department.

See you later.

I hope you guys are having a good time.

I have to tell you, Mr. Bostick, this weekend is great.

I can't stress that enough. Thank you for inviting us.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So, tell me, sweetheart.

-Yes? -How's your friend, Elondra?

Oh, Mr. Bostick.

You got a thing for my girl?

You'll have to excuse my father.

He's quite the flirt.

I'm sure he's just having a little bit of fun.

No, son. I'm not having fun.

I actually want to hit that.

Pops, don't you think that's a little bit inappropriate?

Don't you think you should tone it down?

No, I'm not going to tone it down, okay?

I want to hit it. I want what I want.

Pops, I just really don't think that--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

David, come on over here.

Do you like her, too? What do we got?

Black Shakespeare going on this weekend on the ranch.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I'm just sayin'.

Son? Is this true?

Do you have feelings for this young lady?

Honestly, I don't know.

But, I mean, if I can, I would like the chance to find out.

Wow.

Okay. Wow, I just--

Damn.

I just wish I knew how you felt, you know?

I would have done things a little differently.

-Really, Pop? -Absolutely.

I would have banged her yesterday.

No, really, I would have like...

Bam. Just like that. You know, that's how I do.

Okay, listen, son.

If you're looking for a little, you know, honest competition,

then you're on.

See? Competition is how I became so successful.

Is that how you became successful? Really?

Excuse me, Junior?

David, Pop. It's David.

Excuse me, Junior?

I don't want to compete with you.

I honestly have to tell you,

Sometimes I... I really think his mom had an affair with--

-You guys gonna join me up here? -Yes, sir.

Thank you.

I think his mom had an affair with the interior decorator.

He's so sensitive.

David, huh?

Come on, David. King David, that's my boy.

* I'm just a love machine

* And I won't work for nobody but me *

* Yeah baby

* I'm just a love machine

* And I won't work for nobody but you *

* Yeah baby

* I'm just a love machine

* And I won't work for nobody but you *

* Yeah baby

* I'm just love machine

* And I won't work for nobody but you *

*

Harvey! What are you doing in here?

-Leave. -I'm standing here, baby.

Harvey, you have to leave.

This is my room and you have to get out.

Why are you so oil-- Oh, my God.

I don't even want to know. Harvey, get out.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

Just leave, Harvey, please.

I don't normally act this way.

I just thought that--

Lonnie: I know what you thought, Harvey,

and that's why you have to leave.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

I didn't mean to disrespect you.

I just thought, well, maybe you liked me.

It's been a long time since a pretty girl like yourself

liked someone like me.

Lonnie: Harvey, I do like you.

You do?

I mean, of course I do. Everyone loves you.

You're Harvey Blanks. You're the fitness guru.

But, for me, just not in that way.

You do like me?

I adore you.

I think you're strong and you're smart.

I think you're a really nice guy.

Handsome?

Definitely handsome.

And I think that if you just toned it down a little bit,

I think that other women would like you.

I need to like... tone it down a little bit?

-Just a little bit. -Okay. I'll tone it down.

And, I promise you that I think that will work.

I mean, it's just that you have, like...

You have this game show host,

infomercial, Vietnam veteran thing going.

Yeah, yeah.

I think that if you toned it down, maybe a lot,

I think women would fall at your feet.

Bring it down a lot.

I'll work on that, baby girl.

-One more thing. -What's that?

The whole waiting in someone's room, baby oil...

All bad. It's kind of creepy.

-That's not good either? -All bad.

Okay, well. Sorry, baby girl.

-MSNBC bad. -Oh.

I'm creepy.

Oh, you're not creepy, just...

waiting in my bedroom is kind of creepy.

Okay. Tone it down a little bit.

-A lotta bit. -I'll work on it.

Okay.

Could you put your shirt back on?

Thank you, baby girl.

Could you put your shirt back on?

-When I get outside. -Okay.

What's wrong with your friend, baby girl?

She's been having a bad time.

First, she ate something bad, then she got stung by a bee,

-Mm-hm. -but she'll be fine.

Well, I owe you one.

No, it's okay.

I have something in my room that could fix her right on up

I won't charge her a dime, baby girl.

You know, I usually charge $69.99.

But for you, free.

Absolutely free.

I am a health guru, you know.

Yes, you are. And I'm sure she would love that.

No problem, baby girl. Anything for you.

Let me go on get that and I'll be right back with you.

-You do that. -All right.

-Thank you, Harvey. -You don't like the oil?

-Okay, I'll be right back. -Okay. Thanks, Harvey.

Hello?

Ms. Geirhart: Mark?

Yeah? Who is this?

Let's just say I'm a concerned friend.

-Harvey. -Hey.

What are you doing on this side of the house?

I just came from seeing a friend.

From that room?

From that room.

Was it Elondra?

Is that baby girl?

I guess.

Then, yeah. baby girl.

She sure knows how to make a man feel good inside.

Well, I'm kind of busy. I've got to go.

I'll talk to you later.

Your back, son, is not toned.

I've got just the workout for you, just $69.99.

Hey, Lonnie?

Hey. Feeling better?

A lot better. What's wrong?

Everything.

It just seems like everything's wrong.

It's like I got every guy in here to like me

except for the one that I want to like me.

He thinks that...

I don't know, I'm just so confused.

I think he's upset with me.

Why is he upset?

I have no idea.

I mean, it could be that his dad hit on me last night.

It could be that.

It could be the fact that Harvey just walked out of our room

and he saw him walking out of our room.

I mean...

Wait, Harvey Blanks was in our room?

-The fitness guru? -Okay, long story.

You don't even want to know what I came out in--

Every time we're together and we're sharing a moment,

my phone goes off.

It's always Mark calling and I don't answer

so I think that it kind of throws him off.

So, it could be any of those things.

Which one of y'all heffers got my earring...

China: Camilla, what is wrong with this girl?

The boss's son broke her heart.

Broken hearts?

Girl, we were just supposed to be having fun this weekend,

not getting attached.

You went and fell in love. Why can't I just like someone?

Wait, China... You fell in love?

Girl, yes.

I'm gonna need you to keep up

and lay off them prescription meds, you hear me?

Old Lindsay Lohan in training.

Okay, I'm lost.

Lonnie, you love the boss's son and China, you love...?

Dan.

Dan?

Yes, okay.

I love Dan.

He pop-locked and dropped it, flipped it up, rub it down

oh no rock'em sock'em robot in me, girl. Yeah.

Side note.

He told me about your allegations

about him looking at your little booty?

And he said he wasn't and I believe him

stop lying on my man. Yes, I believe him.

Okay, this is crazy.

Okay, what should I do?

Because I don't want him to think that I'm like that.

So then, tell him.

I tried, but he won't listen to me.

Lonnie, you are a woman.

You used what you have to go have fun

now use it to get what you want.

She's right.

-Go get your man, Lonnie. -Go get your man, Boo.

Hey, Ginny, how you doing, sweetheart?

I'm gonna have the usual.

Hey, son. What are you doing?

I'm drowning in my sorrows, Pops.

-Oh. -You need something?

Thank you, sweetheart. Actually, yes, I do.

I'm gonna need the checkbooks. I need to pay Harvey.

I told you I've already taken care of that, Pops.

We need an invoice.

Once he submits an invoice, he'll get paid.

My manager, his manager, we've already talked about it.

Junior, I told you no.

I don't like to do my business like that, son.

I like to be more personal.

-Personal? -Yes.

I'm gonna give the boy a check.

Personal. When have you ever been personal, Pops?

What the hell does that mean?

You know, I've just been thinking and I'm wondering,

like, when have you ever just told me

"Good job, son."

"Thank you for not taking that job as a teacher

and coming and working for me."

"Thank you for saving my business."

Huh?

Are you serious?

No, really, are you serious?

Son...

I can hire anybody to do what you do, man.

You know why I hired you?

Because you are my son. That's why.

No--

If you quit today, my business would keep on going, baby.

That's business, man.

You know what I'm saying?

When you look at all them zeroes on your check?

That's me saying thank you. Cheers.

You know, I didn't expect you to understand.

You don't know half of what's going on in the office anyway,

so you just go ahead and keep cheating on women,

golfing and being arrogant and I'll take care of it.

Then take care of it. Okay. Take care of it, son.

Take care of it without bitching.

-I'm not bitching. -You're bitching.

If you're not bitching, what do you call it?

Hmm? What do you call it?

Hey, Junior...

anytime you want to have a come-to-Jesus talk with me?

Put it on my next week's agenda, okay?

Because you are not talking to a deadbeat dad.

I've always kept it real with you.

Yeah, that you have.

-You've always kept it real. -Then I tell you what.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, son,

and get your stuff together.

You know, I got a question, Pop.

Hmm. What is it?

Why her?

Why who?

Elondra.

Who?

Elondra.

-Oh. -I really liked her.

-Alright, alright. -You really liked her?

Hey, he really liked her.

Son, you always do this.

Listen, you can't...

She is an employee, man.

You can't get too attached.

Women are a dime a dozen.

You know, that's cold and it's not even like

I'm talking about marrying her.

-I just want to get to know her. -What's there to know, son?

The girl's a floozy.

You got to be careful with girls like that.

Girls like what?

Look, I'm walking with the girl last night on the lake, right?

It wasn't five minutes into our conversation,

she's trying to get a promotion.

-Really? -Really.

Let me tell you something, son.

Despite what you think, I love you.

Look at me. I love you, son.

I do. I love you.

But you are a Bostick,

and damn it, I need you to act like one.

Of course.

-I love you, too, Pops. -Okay.

Are we done?

-Just one more thing. -What's that?

I quit.

Mmm.

Water.

Good.

Take care of Harvey.

Not later. Take care of him today, okay?

Hey, my son's gonna take care of you.

All right, Ginny. Love you, baby.

Water?

I don't know about this, guys.

You'll be fine, trust me.

You look so...

Girl, you're doing it, okay?

-Yeah? -Yes.

Hooked up.

Lonnie: Who do you think that is?

-You don't think that it's...? -Oh, no. Who is it?

Can I come in?

You might as well come in.

You're already halfway in anyway.

I just want Lonnie to know that Mark is here

and he's pulling up in the driveway as we speak.

Boo-yah.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

If he's still in the car coming up the drive,

then how do you know his name?

And how do you know that he's here for me?

Well, I...

Oh, hell no. She's up to something.

-I can feel it in my spirits. -Stop, stop. I'm listening.

Well, I kind of told him to come by and talk to you.

I was just trying to be a friend.

Lonnie, you want me to get up and kick her ass?

Hell, yeah, whip her ass.

China: You know what? We've been tired of you all week.

I'm gonna Tai-Bo professional kick-kick-punch this speed bag.

-Lonnie: Sit down. Stop, please! -I got your back.

You know what?

I don't want you to do anything.

You've done enough.

You have definitely done enough.

Everyone has just done enough.

This is...

This is my mess...

and I'll fix it.

All right, here you go.

I appreciate everything you do, Mr. Blanks.

Thank you very much.

Hey, young man?

For the record, nothing happened.

Excuse me?

I seen the way you looked at me

when I walked out baby girl's room.

Nothing happened.

Well, look, it's none of my business what happened.

All right?

I overheard you and your father talking.

I've known your father for a long time.

Besides him being a good guy,

he can at times be full of crap.

Young man, he can't run this company without you

and if you like baby girl, go for it.

I think she's special.

There's something about her that I just like inside.

Thanks, Harvey.

All right? Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go.

Before you go, this here check ain't gonna bounce, is it?

Just wait till Wednesday to cash it, you'll be all right.

There you go again, see? You and your daddy--

I'm for real. Nah, I'm just playing.

You're a good young man.

-God bless, man. -Thank you very much.

Can I get another water?

My goodness, Lonnie.

My God. You look so beautiful.

Thank you. You look good.

Thank you, baby.

-Mark, what are you doing here? -I came to see you.

But you said you didn't want to see me anymore.

Look, I really realized how special you are to me

and I really couldn't take it no more, baby.

I had to come see you.

Lonnie: Mark, it's over.

David, I can explain.

Yeah, I'm sure you can.

Is he the reason why you don't answer your phone?

Hold on, hold on. Lonnie, I was gonna ask the same thing.

Is he the reason why you ain't picking up your phone?

Man, forget all that! Punch him, all right?

I hate him.

With all due respect, I just met her

and I'm not trying to come between what you guys have.

Well, you know what?

With all due respect, we're in the middle of something

-right here so deuces, partner. -No, wait a minute.

Mark, look, I'm flattered that you came

all the way out here to see me

and I'm flattered that you want to get back together, but...

-How do I know this is real? -Baby, look me in my eyes.

You know me.

That's the problem, Mark.

I just looked you in your eyes and...

-I don't feel anything. -Wow.

Maybe a few days ago, I'd have let you back into my life but...

Things are different now.

So that's what it is now? That's how it's gonna be?

It's kind of been like that, remember?

So, you heard her, man. It's over.

So, if you don't mind, we're in the middle of something.

So, deuces, bro.

You know what?

Lonnie, when you come to your senses,

you know where I'm gonna be at, all right?

Deuces, partner. Watch yourself though.

All right?

-Bye. Drive safe. -Bye. See you later.

-Lonnie, look. -Look, David.

I know that there are a lot of things to say,

but I just don't want to say the wrong things

because I feel like it's going to make things worse.

Don't say anything, then.

Just listen to me. Walk with me.

David, I'm pretty sure that you're a great guy...

but right now in my life I'm just not trying to find out.

I'm just, I'm not in the mood to explain myself to you,

to Mark, to your father, to anybody. I just...

I think I need to be by myself for a while.

I hope you understand.

Lonnie: Can we leave? China: Come on, baby. Let's go.

Don't it feel good? Feel all that cardio working.

Working on the side,

working that abdominal area and everything.

Whoo! Where we going? Let's see.

54... 55... five-o!

61, 62, 63, 64, 65.

Ooh, that feels good!

Hey, Mummy.

How is this supposed to increase my fitness?

I have no idea, don't ask me.

All I know is that I did not pay $69.99 for it. That is it.

-You've been crying. -No, I haven't.

I don't cry anymore.

Yes, you do.

But you don't cry on the outside.

You cry on the inside where nobody can see it,

or feel it but you.

Whoo, sit down here. We need to talk.

Hey, hey. Hey.

Don't bother.

She's not there.

Hey, Pop.

Hello, David.

How are you?

To be very honest with you, I'm not very good, son.

That whole thing about me needing you,

you were right.

Of course, I knew that you were right then,

but I guess I was just too damn arrogant to admit it.

Tell you what.

If you ever want to come back,

you don't even have to ask.

You know what? Hearing that from you, Pop, means a lot.

Thank you.

So where is she? Did she quit, too?

Quit? Oh, hell no. She didn't quit. I offered her your job.

So, you still got your sights on her?

Oh, absolutely, son, absolutely.

Can I tell you something?

I would not have built all this great business

without being an excellent judge of character.

That girl there?

Lord, have mercy.

That girl there is going to make a fine, fine wife.

Wife?

And she's gonna make me a fine, fine daughter-in-law.

Are you...? Are you saying me?

Duh! Of course you.

Like I got another son out there I don't know nothing about?

You know, I probably do have another son out there.

I probably got hundreds of them I don't know about.

I tell you what.

I don't know, perhaps we could bribe someone

in Human Resources to get her home address.

You think?

Thanks, Pop.

-Hurry up, son. -All right.

-I love you, man. -David: Love you, Pop.

Oh, David?

Hit that for Pops, huh?

Bam! But you know, she's kind of aged, so sideways.

Bam! Like that.

Slanted.

Guys, back to work.

Yes, sir.

You heard him. Back to work.

-David, what are you doing here? -Look...

I'm here because...

for the first time in my life,

I met a woman that I instantly connected with.

But, you barely even know me.

Tell me you haven't been thinking about me

and I'll leave and never bother you again.

David, I've thought about you...

but I've thought about a lot of things

and I'm just tired. I am so tired of being hurt.

I just can't do it anymore.

Then, just come with me. I won't hurt you.

Listen, all I want to do is watch a movie

and eat some cheesecake with you.

Baby steps.

Baby steps?

Yes.

Really? A bootleg Weird Science?

David, these are five dollars. You can get these anywhere.

I couldn't find it nowhere else.

You can get this for five dollars anywhere:

eBay, Amazon.com...

You have way too much money to be buying a bootleg.

I checked. Nowhere else I could find it,

or I would have been here a week ago.

All right, you got me. You got me.

Now, can you please come watch a movie with me?

-I love you. -I love you, too.

Girl, I'm about to cry.

Does this cake have egg in it?

Everybody run. She's gonna blow.

*