Original subtitles

Hi, there!

Oh, God. Not again.

We are best friends because, well,

first of all we have so much in common

and you tell a lot of better reasons.

Well, 'cause whenever I first met you,

which was so long ago I can't even remember...

When we were like first born. In our mums' bellies!

Our mums knew each other and went through our mums' bellies.

We were like, "Hi, there!"

Yeah, so we were talking and literally

I just can't, like, picture myself without her.

So, yeah, you're my best friend.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[WOMAN'S VOICE] I am loved.

I am special.

I am enough.

I am doing my best.

We all are.

And now we take our ropes and we lay them around us,

just like so.

And, you know, when we form a circle around ourselves

we're actually reminded

that we carry with us an invisible boundary.

It goes with us wherever we go

and no-one enters this boundary but us.

It's our very own safe space.

And now we breathe in short, rapid breaths,

just like we practised in my last video,

and for those new friends joining us today

that's Episode 253,

Making Friends With Hyperventilation.

Mm.

And before we seal off our practice

with 20 minutes of blissful meditation

I just want to take a moment

to tell you all about Elon Mask,

the amazing, deep-cleansing, paraben-free rubber mask.

It's highly absorbent, perfect for combination skin

and I mean, look, I use them all the time,

especially before meditating.

I just find that having a fresh face,

it really helps me to connect with my body,

my inner essence, my core self.

And to celebrate

SincerelyCecilia reaching 200,000 followers...

Ooh, wow!

It's still so amazing. Thank you.

...I'm giving all of my friends 50% off

all Elon Mask deep-cleansing masks.

All you gotta do is just swipe up

and enter the code 'SINCERE' to reap your hard-earned reward.

Alright! I love you all so much.

Sincerely, Cecilia.

CECILIA: I am loved @SincerelyCecilia.

I needed this today.

The world needs more people like you.

SincerelyCecilia, I think you just saved my life.

[SOOTHING VIOLIN MUSIC]

[PHONE CHIMES REPEATEDLY]

[PHONE KEEPS CHIMING]

Good evening, Jane. Things have certainly escalated in the...

...mobilising troops as international tensions rise.

Sea levels are rising at the fastest rate in three...

[SOBS]

I just... I thought I was his pick, you know?

Like, I've given everything to him

and he just goes with Shazza. Like...

CECILIA: Prayer, sparkle, angel face.

I... I don't get it. Like I'm such a good person.

[SOBS] I don't want to cry. I'm sorry.

I just feel stupid, you know?

CASHIER: Welcome to Pharm Animals!

Udderly cheap, udderly friendly.

- What are you looking at? - Nothing.

WOMAN: Hi.

So my mum gets these, like, really big headaches

and, um, I don't know if you have it here?

Like, I talked to the cashier

and they said that like they don't know

so like they, um...

Basically I just... I need to help her with that headache.

Do you sell it over the counter here?

That is... That is available, but you'd need a prescription.

- Oh, really? - Yes.

In the States they just kind of... They sell it.

So I need to go to a GP?

You're gonna have to get to a GP.

- What the actual fuck! - I just...

Yeah, I'm just pregnant. It's fine.

[GROANS]

Here.

- Ah, we don't take cash. - Excuse me.

Sissy?

- Oh, my God, it's you! - Oh, my God.

What's it been, like 10, 15 years?

It's... It's me, Emma. Emma Quinn?

- You remember me, right? - Yeah.

I was thinking about you the other day,

and now here you are, right in front of me.

Isn't the universe just crazy?

- So crazy. - Oh, yeah, I know.

It's a little embarrassing, right?

But I'm just crazy about Fran, my fiancée.

You should come to our engagement party.

- We're doing karaoke. - Oh, I don't...

Nuh, you have to come. You have to come.

Give me your handle. I'll send you the deets.

Um, it's... @SincerelyCecilia.

Holy shit. 200,000 followers?

What... Are you... Are you an influencer?

Influencer?

Sissy, you're doing really well!

Ah... Cecilia.

What?

Ah, it's just, um...

It's actually just...

...Cecilia now.

Oh! Yeah! Cool! I love that.

Cecilia. Très profesh.

It was so good to see you, Sissy.

Sorry. Sorry. Cecilia.

Ohhh.

Let's make a pact.

No matter what happens,

we end up in the nursing home together.

You're the only person I want to poop my pants with.

Now let's do this.

[GIRLS LAUGH]

[PHONE CHIMES]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[BRAKES SQUEAL]

Sorry!

- I'm walking here! - Sorry!

- Fuck! - I'm sorry.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[CROWD WHOOPS]

Seriously, though,

I love you, Em, and I love you for loving my Franny.

Sorry. Our Franny.

To Fremma! We stan you forever!

[ALL CHEER]

Oh, raise!

[SINGING] ALL: ♪ Here's to Emma She's true blue ♪

♪ She's a pisspot through and through ♪

♪ She's a bastard so they say ♪

♪ She tried to go to heaven but she went the other way! ♪

♪ She went down! Down! Down! Down! Down! ♪

♪ Down! Down! Down! Down! Down! Down! Down! ♪

[ALL WHOOP]

Let's sing some fucking karaoke!

[ALL CHEER]

[SINGS] ♪ Yeah Start a campaign

♪ Sip some champagne ♪

♪ Go get on a call and make yourself a bad name ♪

♪ On some big bad Pull up in the fast lane ♪

♪ We're hittin' rock bottom With some top models ♪

♪ We're hittin' rock bottom With some top models... ♪

Whooo! Cecilia!

- You came! - Of course I did!

You came!

- Hey, congratulations! - Ohh! Ooh!

Thank you!

Come with me.

Excuse me! We're going over here.

- Hey! - Hey!

Right, you here.

You stand there.

Drink here.

[CHANTS] CROWD: Emma! Emma! Emma!

Emma! Emma! Emma! Emma! Emma!

[ALL CHEER]

This is my friend Sissy.

Oh, sorry, Cecilia. This is Cecilia.

Um, we used to have baths together. I've seen her naked!

Whooo!

- Should I be worried? - No. No.

[SINGS] ♪ Won't get off the phone ♪

♪ She won't leave me alone... ♪

No, you're singing with me. Sing with me.

- [SOMEONE WOLF-WHISTLES] - Um...

♪ She can be a real nightmare Gets me to do her hair ♪

♪ And says it never turns out right ♪

♪ But then I put on a face ♪

♪ She can tell ♪

♪ 'Cause she knows me so well ♪

♪ Closer than my closest friend ♪

♪ Someone who will be there till the end ♪

♪ My sister, sister Deeper than the deepest sea ♪

♪ No-one loves you like your family ♪

♪ My sister, sister... ♪

[ALL LAUGH]

FRAN: Oh, babe, your hair.

[EMMA COUGHS] Babe, just give me some space.

Okay, okay.

I'm Fran, by the way.

- Oh, ah, yeah. Cecilia. - I know.

Emma literally hasn't stopped talking about you all day.

Oh, shit! What did she say?

She's just... She's really happy you're here.

Well, I'm sorry if it's weird that I came.

I know that we haven't seen each other in a long time

and like we've never met and...

- [EMMA VOMITS] - Oh, babe.

I'm gonna call you an Uber and get you some water, okay?

- No. No! - Wait, close your eyes.

- What? - Just do it. Trust me.

- It'll be worth it, I promise. - Okay.

Don't open until I say so, okay?

I think that real friends are like stars.

You can't always see them

but you know that they're always there.

- Okay, like now or... - No, just a sec, just a sec.

Okay. Open.

EMMA: Don't laugh at me.

Remember when we were little, when you used to always say,

"You know, not everything's about you."

Hey, I'm so sorry.

Oh, nah. It's no worries.

Remember Fantagate?

BOTH: That was way worse.

- Oh, my God. - Gross.

- Hey. - Mmm?

What are you doing this weekend?

Ah, I don't know.

You should come to my hens' weekend.

Oh, nah, you don't have to...

Yes, yes, you have to come.

Why don't we just get a coffee when you're back...

- ...yeah? - Sissy. Sissy.

- What? - [AS KATH] Look at moieee.

- What? - Look at moieee.

- Listen. - Emma.

Sissy!

I mean Cecilia. Sorry.

Oh, my God.

Hey, so I, um...

I drove past this like nursing home today

and there were these like old bats

having like the best fucking time

and I remembered our pact.

And then I ran into you.

Like... Like what are the fucking odds?

Right? Right?

So like let's just like... Let's cut the bullshit.

You're coming to my hens'.

You're coming to my hens' and I'm gonna make you

'cause I'm gonna send the address.

I'm gonna send the address. It's gonna take me a second.

Be there or die.

Dead face emoji.

[EMMA AND CECILIA LAUGH]

[SLOW, MYSTICAL MUSIC]

CECILIA: Alex?!

YOUNG EMMA: Oh, my God, Alex,

these are so expensive! Thank you!

Um, hey, do you mind if we change the address?

Oh!

♪ But then I put on a face ♪

♪ She can tell ♪

♪ 'Cause she knows me so well ♪

♪ Closer than my closest friend ♪

♪ Someone who will be there till the end ♪

♪ My sister, sister ♪

♪ Deeper than the deepest sea ♪

♪ No-one loves you like your family ♪

♪ My sister... ♪ [PAUSES RECORDING]

YOUNG SISSY: Hi, guys. Welcome to my channel.

My name's Sissy and this is my best friend, Emma,

and today's her 13th birthday.

Oh, my God, is this a time capsule?

Your favourite nail polish.

And a poster of the hottest man on the earth-- Jakey.

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

Tell all the fans at home. They're dying to know.

I don't know. I don't really want to grow up.

I don't want anything to change.

I want to stay like this forever.

YOUNG EMMA: Boring!

I'm sorry.

Let's make a pact.

No matter what happens,

we end up in the nursing home together, okay?

You're the only person I wanna poop my pants with.

[TAPE STARTS BEEPING]

[SWITCHES OFF CAMERA]

[WIND WHISTLES]

[WIND STOPS]

[YOUNG CECILIA'S VOICE] I am not a sissy.

I am not a sissy.

I am not a sissy.

- I am not a sissy. - Hey.

I'm not a sissy. I'm not a sissy.

I'm not a sissy.

- I'm not a sissy. - Who are you?

I'm not a sissy.

It's not my fault.

Oh!

[BANGS INTO TABLE] Ahh! Shit!

CECILIA: I am loved.

I am special.

I am enough.

I am trying my best.

We all are.

- Hey! - Oh, Cecilia!

Do you know how to drive stick?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can.

- Of course. - Keys.

Thank you.

- Right. - Hurry up, Franny!

FRAN: Okay, well, if y'all helped me

I would have been in the car five minutes ago.

I'm so sorry for being disabled and not be able to help you.

It's such a hard life for you, isn't it?

- Hey. - Hey.

I'm really glad you came.

[UPBEAT MUSIC OVER DIALOGUE]

[FLIES BUZZ LOUDLY]

[FRAN SNORES]

- [CECILIA LAUGHS] JAMIE: Shhh!

- [PHONE CHIMES] - Ooh!

- [PHONE CHIMES] - [FRAN LAUGHS]

JAMIE: Shut the fuck up. - What?

JAMIE: Shut up!

What, what? What--

Oh, Alex just sent me a photo of where we're staying

and it's like, "This is your vacation home."

Like, what is her life?

Um, Alex?

Yeah, ah, Alex Kutis.

Didn't y'all go to school together?

Come on, Sissy, don't be a sissy.

Sissy, the sissy.

Sissy, the sissy.

ALL: Sissy, the sissy. - [WHISPERS] I'm not a sissy.

Sissy, the sissy. Sissy, the sissy.

- Sissy... - Watch out!

- [SCREAMING AND CRYING] JAMIE: What the fuck was that?

FRAN: I think it was a roo!

Get out the car. Get out front. Is anyone hurt?

JAMIE: I'm a vegan, guys.

- This is really not cool. FRAN: Oh, shit, my neck!

JAMIE: Come on.

Oh.

This is so fucked.

Will someone please finish it off?

I... I don't suppose anyone has a gun?

We're in Australia, babe. We drive back over shit here.

Where's the keys?

Cecilia?

Cecilia. Keys.

- But it... it's still alive. - Barely.

Look, it's the humane thing to do.

TRACEY: My dad is selling this car next week.

- He's gonna be so pissed! JAMIE: It's a shitty Tarago.

Couldn't be worth more than $200 anyway.

JAMIE: Oh, my God, this is gorgeous!

FRAN: Wow!

[ALL EXCLAIM]

JAMIE: My God, it's so beautiful!

- I wanna fuck this house. - [HORN BEEPS]

TRACEY: Bitch, we're here! OTHERS: We're here!

[WHOOPING]

Alex, can I please have intercourse with your house?

TRACEY: Yeah, if you don't mind.

JAMIE: I wanna come inside. Oh!

Yeah, let's do it! Okay.

TRACEY: This is so beautiful!

[ALL SQUEAL IN EXCITEMENT]

Let us in!

[ALL SCREAM WITH EXCITEMENT]

[ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING]

Hey.

Um...

[EXCITED VOICES IN DISTANCE]

[PARTY MUSIC]

[PEOPLE CHEER]

[MUSIC GETS LOUDER]

[CHANTING]

ALL: Pussy!

[MUSIC SLOWS AND DISTORTS]

G... G'day.

Sissy?

Um... Ah, yeah, you know, it's actually Cecilia now.

Yeah, how crazy is this?

I ran into Cecilia yesterday, right, at the pharmacy,

and then I invited... Alex.

Alex!

Um, Alex? Ow, my hand.

Um, she, um...

What just happened?

Awkward!

[INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION]

JAMIE: Oh, this is cute.

[JAMIE, TRACEY AND FRAN CONTINUE CHATTING]

JAMIE: Shut up!

[FAINTLY] I'm so sorry. I didn't, honestly...

- She's crazy. - I know.

I fucking hate her.

I didn't think she'd actually come. I forgot I invited her.

She's a psycho.

['PSYCHO'-MOVIE-STYLE MUSIC]

JAMIE: Oh, fuck! That was great. They're gonna love it.

TRACEY: She has the weirdest crap, hey?

JAMIE: She? Why do you have to gender her?

[ALL CONTINUE CHATTING]

Sorry, Cecilia.

Emma neglected to inform me that you'd be joining us.

Oh.

Unfortunately all the beds are taken

but you are welcome to sleep on the couch.

Oh, thanks. The couch is totally fine.

EMMA: Sorry, I didn't know about the beds.

That's okay.

Ooh, bitches! Paradise Lost!

[ALL EXCLAIM]

Are you guys serious?

This is the most... THE most commercial,

white, privileged bullshit--

- Oh, shut it, Saint Frances! CECILIA: It's an example

of how much we've slipped as a society.

FRAN: It is.

- Oh, my God, she's so dumb. - Her bikini.

Okay, I'm just going to the toilet.

Do we just like objectify women?

- Are they real, though? - They're not real!

- Is it, um... - None of these are real.

- Okay, but I guarantee you... - Is it round that way or...?

...half of these girls are sleeping with each other.

[ALL CONTINUE TALKING]

Sorry, I'm busting, so I'm just gonna...

[ALL CONTINUE CHATTING AND LAUGHING]

JAMIE: Don't judge him. He's a loser.

He's disgusting!

You know this is all scripted.

Have you guys never done that before?

[SIGHS]

I am loved.

I am special.

I am enough.

I am trying my best.

We all are.

Yeah, we all are.

I'm sure it's like a two-point deal.

Like one boob job, the other boob job, you know what I mean?

You still gonna do that for me?

- No. Stop it. - I'm joking. It was a joke.

- "I'm joking." - No, it's not.

- You can't make up this shit. - It's trash.

Ah, excuse me?

Thank you. Thank you.

And the gaslighting this season is like the crème de la crme.

Hey, so I just wanted to make a little speech.

JAMIE: It's artistry. - Of course it is.

JAMIE: It's so good. It's just like...

Emma?

- It's not! - It's beautifully scripted.

- It's the best writing ever! - [YELLS] Hey, Emma!

- Sorry. - Hey.

Sorry. Um, I, ah, I got you this.

Well, I... I mean it's, ah...

I guess it's an early wedding present.

Something old.

Is this our time capsule?

Oh, my God, I totally forgot about this!

Oh, Cecilia! This is amazing.

This is like that Britney Spears movie

where they bury their dreams in a box

before they get their period but by prom

they hate each other and one of them gets knocked up

and wants to paddle in the Pacific 'cause her life's over.

- J.G. - J.G.!

He's too hot.

Do you know how many times I made out with this poster?

Hold on, this is the best part.

JAMIE: How many times did that make out with your vagina lips?

Yeah, that's yours! Fuck it.

CECILIA: Hey, guys.

Ah, but what about Paradise?

I promise it'll be so worth it. Alright?

Just... fuckin' wait.

Babe!

[EMMA GASPS]

- Oh, my God! - Yeah.

EMMA: I totally forgot about this!

CECILIA: I know! - Look at us! We're so little.

Literally I just can't, like, picture myself without her.

So, yeah, you're my best--

Dinner's ready.

But Remy's gonna bitch slap Chloe!

FRAN: But I'm gonna bitch slap you

if you don't get your ass to that table

because I am really hungry.

Yes, Mum.

JAMIE: I'm gonna get changed. I smell like rotten cum.

Not mine!

TRACEY: Your CEO's maybe? JAMIE: Don't you fucking dare!

YOUNG EMMA: Alex!

YOUNG ALEX: Sissy, don't be a sissy.

YOUNG EMMA: Oh, my God, Alex, these are so expensive!

YOUNG ALEX: Happy birthday, biatch!

And to Alex, my maid of honour,

thank you for hosting us all this weekend. I love you.

[THINKS] CECILIA: I am loved.

It's the least I could do after missing your engagement party.

CECILIA: I am special. I am enough.

And your beautiful lives together.

CECILIA: I am doing my best. We all are.

I'll get down on one knee.

CECILIA: I am confident. I am special. I am enough.

- ...his married CEO! - [ALL SQUEAL]

CECILIA: I'm doing my best.

FRAN: What about you, Cecilia? Are you dating anybody?

Oh, nah.

Nah, I don't really have time, you know?

I'm just like busy and focused

but guess that sounds kinda... kinda stupid, right?

Not at all. Not when you're as successful as you are.

- Really? What do you do? - Oh, I'm... I'm a--

- She's an influencer. - An influencer?

- Well, um... - That's your fulltime job?

Pretty much.

She has like 200,000 followers.

Fuck off. That's more than Alex.

Oh, are you an influencer too?

Ew. No.

Fuck off! You know Chris Hemsworth?

No. No. I wouldn't say I know him,

I just promoted his app for a little bit.

- And you got paid to do that? - Mm-hm. Yeah.

Fucking hell. I'm the least cool person at this table.

I've been telling you that for years, babe.

So what's your thing? Are you like a model, or...

Nuh. No, definitely not.

You're like a therapist, right?

I'm more like a mental health advocate.

You know, basically

I just try to help people with their issues.

Like what?

You know, like confidence, self-worth, self-acceptance,

anxiety, depression, OCD.

That's really cool. Do you need a degree for that, or...

Oh, I'm... I'm not a psychologist.

I'm just, ah... well, just a fellow human

trying to, you know,

share some things that I've learned along the way.

How much money do you make?

EMMA: Tracey! - What?

- That's none of our business. - Yes, it is.

If she's a public figure

and she's profiting from people's pain

then that should be public knowledge.

I'm not profiting from--

Actually, Alex has a point.

You're getting paid, maybe not by your followers directly

but you're influencing them to buy whatever you're advertising

and you're not qualified.

Which, legally, is very murky.

I mean, what if someone killed themselves

because you didn't check your DMs?

- Jamie! - I'm serious.

Cecilia could get into a lot of trouble.

No, I've always been very clear with my followers,

you know, from the beginning, that I'm not a professional.

Sometimes people want to feel seen, you know?

They wanna feel like, um...

...somebody sees their value and they want to feel loved.

So, um... I just try to remind people that they're special.

EMMA: It's kind of like what you do, babe.

- Oh. - Oh, what do you do?

She's a psychologist.

Oh, like an actual psychologist.

- No. No, no, no, no. - Wow.

I'm not a psychologist.

I... have a few years left on my doctorate

- so I'm studying to be. - Whoa.

- That's really cool. - Thanks.

Fran helps real people with real problems

- whereas in Sissy's case... - Cecilia...

...you could argue that those people aren't even like real.

Alex, of course Cecilia's followers are real people.

ALEX: Are they, though? EMMA: Alex.

No, no, no, I mean, Alex is right.

What I'm doing is nothing compared to what Fran's doing.

That's incredible.

Well, to Fran and Cecilia.

The world needs more people like you. Cheers.

Cheers.

I just... I'm sorry,

but I can't help but find it all a little bit ironic.

EMMA: Ironic? - Yeah, that of all people

Sissy is preaching about mental health.

Cecilia.

- What are you, rebranding? - Alex.

- [JAMIE GUFFAWS] EMMA: Guys!

[TAKES RAGGED BREATHS]

Okay.

I am enough.

I... I am...

...trying my best. Fuck.

CECILIA: The world needs more people like you.

I hate myself. Please help. I'm #trying.

EMMA: Knock, knock! - Hi.

Hey. Do you mind if I join you?

Whoo!

- Come on in. - [EMMA LAUGHS]

The water's great!

Are you okay?

- Yes. Fuck. - Oh, don't cry.

Please don't cry.

Fuck.

- Cecilia. - [SNIFFS] I'm sorry.

I just feel like I...

I've just tried so hard to...

...to like... to heal and to move on and...

Whatever. I'm always gonna be Sissy, the sissy to her.

Well, you know what? Fuck Alex.

Seriously. Seriously!

- Fuck Alex? - Yeah.

Do you know how much fucked-up shit

she's done over the years?

But like this is what I think, okay?

All of that stuff that happened between the two of you

was a lifetime ago.

It was an accident. You were a child.

Like you didn't know what you were doing.

You are a really good person, Cecilia.

Mm.

And I'm really glad you came.

So I would like for you to stop punishing yourself

and just have some fun with me, okay?

Yeah, righto, okay.

- Do you think it's expired? - Oh my God.

Come on.

Righto.

- Ohhh. - Ahhh!

Ohhh. Ooh, still good.

You know, you're exactly how you said you'd turn out.

Oh, God, really?

What did I say?

[MOSQUITO WHINES] God!

[MOSQUITO WHINES]

[MOSQUITO WHINES]

[SIGHS]

Bad dream?

I didn't mean to scare you. I just came to get some water.

Do you mind if I sit?

Go ahead, yep.

I can't sleep either.

I feel really bad about before. I'm sorry.

- Oh, look, that's okay. - Truce?

Um...

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Truce.

You have the softest hands.

Thanks.

Do you moisturise?

Yeah. Um, I use this... this...

...stuff. Um... Do... Do you want...

Maybe...

Maybe you can help me with this.

[HORROR-MOVIE STYLE MUSIC]

[BIRDS CHIRP]

[UPBEAT, GENTLE MUSIC]

Oh!

Thanks, Trace.

Look, I'm just trying to change

the ionic composition of the air

so we can all reduce our stress levels after last night's vibe.

JAMIE: Speaking of. Where is Sissy?

[MOCKING TONE] Her name is Su-sil-ee-ah.

Guys. Not today, please? Please? Please?

This saviour complex you've got going is so boring, Em.

EMMA: Saviour complex? - The chick's a total killjoy.

Weren't you the one who was gushing about how cool she was?

I mean, you've literally never mentioned her

and she's invited to our hens'.

Babe!

I don't have a problem with it.

It's just a little weird, don't you think?

Actually, Fran, it's textbook Emma.

I couldn't stand her when we were kids

'cause she clung to you like a fucking koala.

But you were too chickenshit to tell her, so I had to.

And we both know how that ended.

FRAN: How? - Fuck off!

ALEX: Yep. Deadset.

JAMIE: Are you serious? TRACEY: Hell, no, that was her?

She's not your best friend. I'm her best friend.

Really? Well, you're not even invited to her birthday party.

Alex!

What birthday party?

Well, it's just... I didn't think you would come.

All the girls are there

and you don't really get along with them.

So you didn't invite me to your birthday party?

JAMIE: I knew it! I knew it! FRAN: Why did you invite her?

JAMIE: She's a psycho!

EMMA: Oh, my God!

Alex, it's not like you're a victim. You were bullying her.

Fuck you.

Okay, okay, okay, let's just chill, team, yeah? Just chill?

No, if she's gonna defend that psycho over me,

then fuck her.

EMMA: Alex, we were 12 years old. It is time to get over it.

You're not the one

who has to look in the mirror every morning

- and be reminded of her. JAMIE: Sissy's cancelled!

I knew there was something off about her.

All that self-help stuff that she spouts?

I mean, this is exactly what's wrong with social media.

It's a breeding ground for con artists.

TRACEY: Like Belle Gibson.

JAMIE: Exactly! Sissy's cancelled!

EMMA: Jamie, stop.

Can't argue with the clicks, bitch!

Baby, where are you going?

I'm cold. I'm going back to the bridge.

TRACEY: Yeah, me too.

FRAN: Okay, well, can you just give me a second?

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

- I should probably... - That's okay. Go.

JAMIE: We need to crack that brie ASAP!

I love you.

TRACEY: You're lactose intolerant.

No, I'm not!

TRACEY: Your farts were so rank last night,

I literally couldn't breathe.

JAMIE: You're homophobic. FRAN: No, dude, she's right.

It's like on another level,

and I think you should really see a doctor.

JAMIE: I don't need to see a doctor, Okay? I want my cheese.

Just leave me alone! You guys are bullying me.

- Stop bullying me! - [TRACEY AND FRAN LAUGH]

Well, you're not even invited to her birthday party.

Come on, Sissy, don't be a sissy.

Sissy, the sissy.

[TWINS JOIN IN] Sissy, the sissy.

Sissy, the sissy. Sissy, the sissy.

Sissy, the sissy Sissy, the sissy.

Sissy, the sissy. Sissy, the sissy.

Sissy, the sissy. Sissy, the sissy.

Sissy, the sissy. Sissy, the...

ALEX: Sissy!

I know you're there.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hey!

Ooh! It's cold.

Why are you here?

Um, Emma left me a map.

No, why are you here at Emma's hens'?

I get that you didn't expect me to be here

so you're probably feeling really triggered.

And I'm sorry for that. Like I really am.

I hate knowing that my presence

is resurfacing old trauma for you

but wouldn't it be better

- if we just put this-- - Stop it! Ugh. Stop it, okay?

- What? - No-one's around.

- So you can just drop the act. - It's not an act.

I'm just trying to connect with you.

You can't connect with anyone, Sissy.

You're a psychopath.

Um...

I'm not a psychopath.

- Say that to my face. - I'm not.

Or better yet your followers.

W... What, is that my phone? Did you...

Did you take my phone?

[TURNS ON VIDEO]

Go on.

Tell them what you did to me. Go on.

Tell them.

Fine.

- Alex... - Hey, friends!

I have something to tell you about your beloved guru.

Cecilia is not as sincere as you think she is.

How do I know this?

Well, see this scar?

Once upon a time, she lost her fucking mind

and she tried to murder me.

Okay, that's enough.

ALEX: Come on, come on, come on, come on!

I'm not a sissy!

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault.

YOUNG EMMA: Help! - It's not my fault.

[SCREAMS]

- Help! - It's not my fault.

[GIRLS CONTINUE SCREAMING] - It's not my fault.

Help! Help!

- Help! - [YOUNG ALEX SCREAMS]

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

[GASPS AND PANTS]

[GROANS]

[STRAINS]

[PANTS]

Fuck! Fuck!

Alex!

[SIGHS] Oh, wow. Look at these beautiful trees.

And can you hear that?

Silence.

It's so rare, especially these days, and you know what?

Now would be a great time to meditate

but first I just wanted to remind us all

about the power of kindness.

I found this little uprooted plant

and I thought why not repropagate it?

I mean, it's the least I can do

to offset the erosion I'm causing by hiking today.

Pay it forward.

And, you know, simple acts of kindness

are actually known to activate the area of the brain

that is linked to improved mood.

So keep that in mind.

And, hey, don't worry if you don't have a shovel.

I mean, that's what our hands are for.

Plus, if we get a little dirt under our nails,

maybe we'll get a bonus boost of B12.

Alright, everyone. I love you.

Sincerely, Cecilia.

[SINGING IN DISTANCE]

Fuck!

[SINGING CONTINUES]

[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]

♪ We're hittin' rock bottom with some top models. ♪

[HUMS]

Wow.

So beautiful.

[GASPS]

Hello?

Don't fuck with me, Trace.

My cock's out

and I'm not afraid to use it! [MAKES SILLY NOISES]

Hey! Jamie.

Were you watching me pee?

No.

Gross.

Nah, I just couldn't find you guys.

- What happened to you? - Hmm?

Oh, ah... I tripped back there. I stacked it.

I went flying. You should have seen it.

- Okay. - Yeah.

I'm really high right now.

Right, should we go? Let's go. Let's just...

Should we just head that way, or...

- Oh! - Argh!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Fuckin' piss!

Fuck. Sorry.

- Here you go. - You're pretty.

- You're pretty. - Shut up.

Shall we go?

- What the fuck? - Oh!

Oh, my God! Is that Alex?

Hey, Jamie! Jamie, come back!

Jamie! Jamie! Hold on!

Just... If you just wait one second!

Just wait a second! Jamie!

You have picked this card today to help you remember

the importance of spending time in nature

and connecting with Mother Nature's healing energies.

Ha. I'll see you guys back at the house, yeah?

What? You don't have to leave.

Oh, no, no, I really need some me time.

Okay, well, can you check on Jamie, please?

Yes, Mum!

Look, the thing that I love most about you

is that you always see the good in people.

But it's also one of your biggest flaws.

Which is why...

...you always end up feeling this way.

You just...

You just need to relax.

I'm sorry. I can't. I just...

I should probably go apologise.

Cool.

Great.

CECILIA: Jamie!

Jamie!

Hey.

- [DRAMATIC MUSIC] - Jamie!

Wait! Wait!

- Wait. - Just let me explain!

Stay the fuck away from me!

It was an accident!

Look, I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise!

Alex had it out for me for years, alright.

And she attacked me and I didn't have any other choice.

I had to defend myself.

If it was self-defence, then why hide it? Why not tell us?

I mean, I'm cancelled, aren't I?

Aren't I cancelled?

So why would any of you believe me, even if I told you?

Just...

Please, Jamie.

Please help me.

I feel really scared.

Um, it's okay, okay? It's okay. I'm here, okay?

I've got you. You're safe.

- I see you. TRACEY: Jamie!

Hey!

Trace-[SCREAMS]

[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

TRACEY: Jamie!

Jamie! Jamie!

Oh! Oh! Ugh!

Bitch, Paradise Lost is on soon and I'm not waiting for you!

- [CROSSLY] Jamie! - Alex!

[VOICEMAIL] ALEX: Hey, this is Alex.

Just text a message. Don't leave me a voicemail

because I'm never gonna listen to it, okay? Bye!

[PHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

[RINGING GETS LOUDER]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

I'm not a sissy. I'm not a sissy.

[SOBS]

CECILIA: All hail, queen.

SincerelyCecilia, love your vibe, babe.

DM us for a collab.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

[SNORES]

[GASPING]

[RINGING]

[ON TV] You know more guys are coming in here

and they're gonna throw their dicks at you.

They better. They better fully throw their dicks at me,

otherwise I'm actually done.

I'm gonna walk out of the house.

I can't believe he didn't pick me.

- His loss, babe. TRACEY: Yes. Absolutely.

GIRL: In your face. That's it. - Fuck, yeah, babe!

You got a snack, I got a snack...

[HORROR-MOVIE STYLE MUSIC]

TV: I mean, I [BLEEPED] him one time--

- Wait, you [BLEEPED] him? - No, it was before this even--

[VOICES CONTINUE ON TV]

[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHING AND SHRIEKING ON TV]

[CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS ON TV]

Help.

- Holy shit, are you okay? - Help me, please.

Okay, the magnesium will soothe your body

and this should help soothe your face.

Oh, my God, I can't believe you're sponsored by Elon Mask.

Like, that's amazing.

[SOBS]

- Oh, are you... - [SOBS]

Are you crying?

It's okay. Um... I can't believe she did this to you.

When the others get back

we'll just hash it all out, yeah?

Maybe Alex just needed to get back at you

to feel better or something.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Get back at me for what?

Ah, I don't know. Um...

That wasn't my fault.

Yeah, I'm not saying it was.

So why are you looking at me like that then?

- Stop staring at me! - Sorry.

Sorry.

- Hey, um... - It's okay.

...just having a really weird day.

Um... I'm just going to...

...going to get my phone.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

- [DRAMATIC MUSIC] - Please can you... Sissy.

Ah, Cecilia. Um... You're hurting me.

- I'm not who she says I am... - You're really...

- ...okay? - Okay. Just... you're hurting me.

- Why don't you believe me? - Please let me go.

Please let go.

[HORROR-MOVIE STYLE MUSIC]

- I'm a good person, okay? - Okay.

- Okay. - Okay, look.

Trace, hey, I'm sorry, okay? I just feel like--

Cecilia! Just...

Sorry.

That's okay.

- I didn't mean-- - It's okay.

- I'm sorry. - Let's just, um...

- I really didn't mean it. - Let's just step outside.

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah. - Let's get some fresh air.

- And... - Okay, I...

Let's just talk. Let's just talk outside.

- Alright. - We'll figure this out, yeah?

- Yeah. - Okay?

[SCREAMS]

Sissy!

Sissy! [GASPS]

[FRANTIC SPLASHING]

[SILENCE]

[GROANS]

[MOANS]

[ALEX SCREAMS]

Time to destination, four hours and twenty minutes.

Hey! Hey!

Stop.

Oh, my God.

Cecilia, thank you so much for finding me.

Dude, I thought that I was gonna die out here.

No-one's answering their phones.

Why is no-one answering?

Whoa! Hold on a sec.

I can't get this seatbelt to work.

GPS: In four kilometres, turn right.

Hey, I think the house is back that way, you know?

Where's Emma?

- What, she's not at the house? - Mm-mm.

- Where is she? - I don't know.

- Isn't that your job? - Excuse me?

Well, if you love her so much

then why don't you know where she is?

Hey, are you okay?

Wait, Cecilia, calm down.

Don't fucking tell me to calm down, alright?

Calm down? After the fucking day I've had?

Okay, I think you should pull over and let me drive.

Do you have any idea what I've been through?

No, I... I don't but if you could just slow down

because my seatbelt-- I can't get my seatbelt on.

Okay, but can you just slow down?

Cecilia, what's happening? Where are we going?

Everything's fucked, okay? That's what's happening.

Cecilia, stop the car.

It was supposed to be me and Emma,

like, that was supposed to be us.

That was our pact.

Stop the car.

And we were gonna make our kids fall in love.

I don't know what's going on but could you just slow down--

And we were gonna like move into the same nursing home

when we were too old to pretend that we cared

about anyone else but each other.

Cecilia, what's going on?

Slow down. I'm here for you. We can...

It was gonna be really cute and like...

- Like we promised each other. - Cecilia.

I just need you to slow down and we're gonna solve this--

And we promised each other that we were gonna do that.

- [SOBS] - Okay.

- Just... I really... - [CECILIA WEEPS]

Stop the car. I'm gonna drive, okay?

- I'm gonna drive. - [CECILIA SOBS]

But I guess none of that's gonna happen now, isn't it?

- None of that's gonna happen. - Cecilia, slow down.

'Cause you're gonna fuck off to America

and I'm never gonna see her again.

- How the fuck is that fair? - Stop the car!

I mean, why do you get that kind of life

and I'm still so fucking lonely

and you don't even know where she is right now!

- Fiancée of the fucking year! - Stop the car!

STOP!

[BRAKES SCREECH]

GPS: In three kilometres, turn right.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

[CAR WARNING BEEP]

[FRAN MOANS AND CRIES]

[FRAN GASPS AND MOANS]

[FRAN GASPS AND SOBS]

Why'd you do that, Fran?

Hey! Hey! Hey, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's the...

Huh? Huh?

It's the humane thing to do.

[FRAN GASPS]

[CECILIA SOBS]

It's the humane thing to do.

FRAN: What?

It's the humane thing to do.

FRAN: What?

It's the humane thing to do.

- [FRAN CRIES OUT] - It's the humane thing to do.

FRAN: What?

[FRAN SOBS]

[SOBS]

[GASPS AND COUGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS AND SOBS]

[LANDLINE RINGS]

Phone!

Senior Constable Martindale.

[SCREAMING ON PHONE]

Is that you, Gaz?

I told you to stop calling here

when you're fucked off your head. Huh?

Yeah, yeah, boo-hoo.

Just sober up, alright, ya bloody drunk.

And, mate, I'm not kidding.

I'm this close to kicking you off the netball team.

Ahem!

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

What the fuck are you doing out in the sticks?

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

Ah, this is the Police Department.

Is this, ah, an emergency?

We've got your location here, mate.

Shit.

[SCREAMS]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

Emma!

Emma!

Hey, Emma.

[EERIE MUSIC]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[BREATHES RAGGEDLY]

[CECILIA'S VOICE] Now would be a great time to meditate

but first I just wanted to remind us all

about the power of kindness.

[HEARS VOICE] CECILIA: Sissy, the sissy!

Sissy, the sissy!

Sissy, the sissy!

Sissy, the sissy!

Come on, Sissy.

Don't be a sissy.

PAINTING: Get it done.

[GRUNTS REPEATEDLY]

Please... Please help me.

Alexandra Kutis has killed three of my friends,

maybe more.

And she's coming for me too. Please, send help.

Please. Please.

[MESSAGES CONTINUE APPEARING ON PHONE]

[YOUNG EMMA'S VOICE] Sissy?

Sissy.

Sissy.

Cecilia.

Cecilia.

Cecilia. Cecilia?

Cecilia! What happened?

Okay, don't move. Don't.

Don't move. Don't move. Just stay there.

- Stay there. - Okay.

Fuck!

Alex?

Babe?

What the fuck!

Towels?

[GASPS]

What the...

Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, fuck!

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

No! No!

Fuck!

Fuck! Tracey!

Oh, shit. Shit.

[SCREAMS]

Emma, please, I'm really scared.

She went crazy.

- She... She tried to kill me. - Who?

Alex.

I'm so sorry.

Fuck, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here.

I mean, if I wasn't here,

none of this would have happened.

Fuck.

Um...

[WHISPERS] ...where's Fran?

I don't know.

Cecilia, um...

...I think it might be time to call the police.

No, no, no.

Nuh. Mm-mm. There's no time.

There's no time. We have to go.

Come on. We have to go.

Come on.

Emma, come on. Come on. Just come with me.

Come...

[GROANS]

[EMMA MOANS]

CECILIA: It was an accident.

You were a child.

You didn't know what you were doing.

You are a really good person, Cecilia.

And I'm really glad you came.

So I would like for you to stop punishing yourself

and just have some fun with me...

YOUNG CECILIA: We are best friends...

CECILIA: ...Okay?

YOUNG CECILIA: ...because, well, first of all

we are absolutely the same

and we have so much in common.

Oh, my gosh.

[SIGHS] We were so young.

Doesn't it feel like it was yesterday?

So crazy.

But you know, the more I think about it,

the more I realise, like, time is just a construct.

[LAUGHS CRAZILY]

Ooh, ooh, hold on. I'm gonna show you something.

Get ready, bitch. It's gonna blow your mind.

Do you love it?

Matching! Sisters! [TAKES PHOTO]

Pink really is your colour.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, shut up!

[CECILIA LAUGHS] Deep blue sea, baby!

[EMMA LAUGHS FALSELY]

[ON VIDEO] ♪ My sister, sister... ♪

What?

Oh! You're fuckin' right.

Let's get you some nail polish, babe.

- Mm! - One second!

Just hold on one minute, okay?

Did you put it in your bag or something?

It kinda just grew legs and walked off!

Hey, um, give me a second.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[STRAINS]

[SNAPPING SOUND]

[SHRIEKS]

CECILIA: Emma?

Found it. [LAUGHS]

Great! Still some left.

Emma, what--

- [GROWLS] - [CECILIA COUGHS]

[CECILIA CHOKES]

[SCREAMS]

[SOBS]

[GASPS FOR BREATH]

[SCREAMS]

Where's Fran?

It... It was an accident.

I just...

I really didn't mean to hurt her.

Everything just kind of spiralled out of control.

Please don't hate me!

No! No!

No!

No, no.

- Oh, gosh. - Hey.

Okay, look.

I think we can get through this.

You're a fucking monster.

You're a fucking, psychotic, little, fucked-up monster.

You always have been and you always fucking will be.

I'm a good person. You said that!

You fucking said that!

Shit, Emma.

What are you doing?

Emma, no! No!

[GASPS]

You're the fucking monster!

I mean, did you ever even really like me?

Or did you just get some kind of like sick pleasure

out of pitying me?

You just care so much what people think about you.

Can't stand the thought

that maybe someone might think you're weird.

They might know the real you.

Might find out you have a heartbeat

or feelings or a fucking soul.

I'm real.

And if that makes me a sissy, then so what?

Great.

- I'm proud of that. - Help. I need help.

My friends are missing.

My address is... [INDISTINCT]

Please, I need help.

You know, it's people like you

that make the rest of us feel like shit.

[ON PHONE] MAN: Emergency. Police, fire or ambulance?

[WHISPERS] Police.

- Are you in a safe location? - No. No, I'm not safe.

Please help, please help. Please come.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Em!

[GUNSHOT]

[PANTING]

[CONTINUES PANTING]

[CONTINUES PANTING]

Hey!

[POLICEMAN PANTS]

Hey.

Are... Are you... Are you alright, love?

Mm-hm.

Alright, is there anyone else in the house?

Alright, you just... You stay there, alright?

You... You... You're safe there.

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna secure the house, okay?

And I'll be back.

Yep.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Fuck me.

You got this. Yeah, you're a weapon.

[SIRENS APPROACH]

[YOUNG CECILIA AND EMMA ON CAMCORDER]

YOUNG EMMA: And this is Sissy,

my best friend in the whole wide world.

This is you when you were a baby!

[GIRLS CONTINUE TALKING ON CAMCORDER]

Hi, guys, welcome to my channel.

My name's Sissy and this is my best friend, Emma,

and today is her 13th birthday.

You're officially old enough to be a child bride.

Speak for yourself. I'm gonna be so cool when I'm older.

- Oh, really? - Yep.

I'm gonna have pink hair and drive an old yellow car.

Your turn.

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

Tell all the fans at home. They're dying to know.

I don't know.

I don't really want to grow up.

I don't want anything to change.

I want to stay like this forever.

YOUNG EMMA: Boring!

[ETHEREAL MUSIC]

CECILIA: I am loved.

I am special.

I am enough.

I am doing my best.

We all are.

And now we take our rope

and we lay it around us like so.

And as always when we form a circle around ourselves

we are reminded that we carry with us an invisible boundary.

No-one enters that boundary but us.

It's our very own safe space

and we never, ever have to leave it.

When I was the lone survivor

of the Alexandra Kutis massacre...

...my boundary was all I had.

When I hid in that bathroom as Alex murdered my friends...

...honestly, I...

...I wanted to give up.

I wanted it to be over.

But then I thought of all of you

and I realised I had to be strong.

I had to practise what I preach, you know?

So I did The Steps.

I came back into my body, regained control of my mind

and refused to be a victim.

And now you can too.

Order my new book,

Don't Survive, Thrive: Simple Steps to Living Your Best Life.

And, even better,

all of my friends, all ten million of you,

will receive one of my new, bespoke,

non-allergenic therapy ropes.

Just swipe on up

and enter the code 'SINCERE'.

Sincerely, Cecilia.

♪ Sister ♪

♪ She won't get off the phone ♪

♪ She won't leave me alone ♪

♪ When I'm talking to that guy ♪

♪ She can be a real nightmare ♪

♪ Gets me to do her hair ♪

♪ And says it never turns out right ♪

♪ But when I put on a face she can tell ♪

♪ 'Cause she knows me so well ♪

♪ Closer than my closest friend ♪

♪ Someone who will be there till the end ♪

♪ My sister, my sister ♪

♪ Deeper than the deepest sea ♪

♪ No-one likes you like your family ♪

♪ My sister, sister ♪

♪ To celebrate the good times ♪

♪ To help me through the hard times ♪

♪ To bring me down to earth Remind me what's important ♪

♪ And who comes first Who comes first ♪

♪ Gotta tell me who I'm talking about ♪

♪ My sister, sister ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ And who comes first? ♪

♪ Ain't no doubt about it ♪

♪ Who am I talkin' about? ♪ ♪ My sister, sister. ♪

♪ Hello? ♪ Remember me?

♪ Narcisa? ♪

♪ Your frenemy ♪

♪ Project, deflect and blame ♪

♪ I'll shame, wane and shirk ♪

♪ To keep your mouth ♪

♪ Sans my name ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a widdle baby ♪

♪ Won't you please ♪

♪ Spit my dummy out ♪

♪ For me? ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ What you think ♪

♪ Or feel or say or do ♪

♪ You keep this up ♪

♪ I swear to God ♪

♪ I'll bury you ♪

♪ Joking? ♪

♪ No, I'm not joking ♪

♪ I'd rather see ♪

♪ You rot in hell ♪

♪ Than let you have ♪

♪ This one over me ♪

♪ Hush, now ♪

♪ Our world still spins around ♪

♪ None the wiser ♪

♪ While I burn it all ♪

♪ Especially you down ♪

♪ Hello? ♪

♪ Remember me? ♪

♪ I'm the end ♪

♪ Of your dreams. ♪