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1
00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:04,634
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:32,203
Be sure the bulbs are spaced far enough
apart for proper root growth,
3
00:01:32,299 --> 00:01:35,301
and remember to give the seedlings
plenty of sunl�ght.
4
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:39,100
(WHISTLING)
5
00:01:47,466 --> 00:01:50,135
Add iust enough water. Then...
6
00:01:50,199 --> 00:01:51,199
(PmIENTS PRoTESTING)
7
00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:52,967
Hey, l was watching that.
8
00:01:53,032 --> 00:01:55,300
And now you're watching this.
9
00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:00,470
MAN: (CHUCKLING) Next, a dog drinks milk
out of his owner's mouth.
10
00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:02,801
Change it back.
11
00:02:03,199 --> 00:02:05,935
Oh, no, no, no. Don't want to.
12
00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:08,034
Guard!
13
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,201
What's the problem?
14
00:02:11,099 --> 00:02:15,870
Don't look now, Sonny Jim, but
the plant lady's gone wackers again.
15
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,868
He started it. l was just sitting here.
16
00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:22,836
That's right. You're always blaming me.
17
00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:25,001
And the children wonder why we fight.
18
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:27,134
Crazy.
19
00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:29,801
l know you are, but what am l?
20
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:35,638
Okay, okay, you'll watch this quietly,
or you'll go back to your cells.
21
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:36,700
Jawohl!
22
00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:38,467
l don't care.
23
00:02:42,032 --> 00:02:44,701
You hold my hand, and l'll slug you.
24
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,033
Guard!
25
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:49,100
Just kidding. Just kidding.
26
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:51,368
Yeesh, Pammy, lighten up.
27
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:56,203
This �s Summer Gleeson l�ve at
Gotham Palisades BoardwaIk,
28
00:02:56,299 --> 00:02:57,667
where it's opening day
29
00:02:57,766 --> 00:03:01,102
at billionaire Cameron Kaiser's
(atest showpIace resort.
30
00:03:01,299 --> 00:03:05,936
Total price tag For this
fun-seeker's mecca, nearly _300 m�ll�on.
31
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,101
lt's true, Summer.
32
00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:11,968
l set out to create the most opulent
gambl�ng resort in the world.
33
00:03:12,032 --> 00:03:13,967
AFter all, what's a few million
here and there
34
00:03:14,032 --> 00:03:16,000
as long as my guests are happy?
35
00:03:16,466 --> 00:03:19,702
Gotham'_ el�te have turned out
in style for the opening.
36
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,102
Bruce Wayne,
perhaps you can give us a hint
37
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:25,469
about the top secret theme
of Mr. Kaiser's new casino.
38
00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:28,334
Looks like we'll f�nd out
together, Summer.
39
00:03:28,466 --> 00:03:30,034
-(APPLAUSE)
-(DRumRoLL)
40
00:03:30,132 --> 00:03:33,168
Ladies and gentlemen, the wait is over.
41
00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:35,434
l om�c�ally welcome you, one and all...
42
00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:40,836
-To Jokers Wild.
-(HEAD LAucHINc)
43
00:03:40,933 --> 00:03:42,134
Say what?
44
00:03:56,132 --> 00:03:57,600
SUMMfR: Oh, just disgust�ng.
45
00:03:57,666 --> 00:04:00,035
MAN: Psst! Summer, we're on the air.
46
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:04,470
Oh, uh... There you have it.
Let's get a reaction from the guests.
47
00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:07,269
-Uh, Mr. Wayne.
-No comment.
48
00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:17,169
Mr. Kaiser, why build a casino
seemingly �n honor
49
00:04:17,266 --> 00:04:20,135
ofone oF history's
most notorious outIaws?
50
00:04:20,766 --> 00:04:22,100
Summer, please.
51
00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:25,769
My joker is a elassic symbol,
Iong assoc�ated with cards and games.
52
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:29,336
l can't help it iF there's a pass�ng
resemblance to some criminaI fru�teake.
53
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,500
(JoKER GRUNTS)
54
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:37,305
How dare that smug, preening fool
try to cash in on my image!
55
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,634
Now who should lighten up?
56
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,034
Don't get cute with me, Red.
57
00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:45,268
He's ripping me off. l'll protest.
58
00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:47,601
Yeah, l'll gue.
59
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:49,701
Then l'll rip his lungs out.
60
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,034
And l will, too.
61
00:04:52,099 --> 00:04:53,433
Take it easy.
62
00:04:53,933 --> 00:04:56,802
(GROANS) l Feel dizzy.
63
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:00,135
Sick... Everything's spinning.
64
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:03,135
Oh! Need a doctor.
65
00:05:04,299 --> 00:05:05,433
PAMELA: Oh, Joker?
66
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,168
Thanks for the smile.
67
00:05:10,366 --> 00:05:11,366
(GRoANS)
68
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,835
Hang on. l'll get Dr. Bartholomew.
69
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:31,301
Yes. Hurry. Please.
70
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,134
(LAUGHING)
71
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:37,700
Sucker.
72
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:51,268
JOKER: What a maroon. Ha!
73
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,868
l know you are, but what am l?
74
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,101
The Joker!
75
00:05:58,533 --> 00:05:59,967
(CACKLING)
76
00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:06,437
Exit stage left, laughing all the way.
77
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,301
-Hey!
-Excuse me.
78
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:23,634
-There he is!
-Get him!
79
00:06:25,266 --> 00:06:28,002
Step right up and play
everyone's favorite game,
80
00:06:28,099 --> 00:06:30,100
''What's the Joker got in the pail?''
81
00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,934
Maybe a deadly poison?
82
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,203
Or maybe just something
to make the floor nice and slippery.
83
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,168
-Hey!
-Look out!
84
00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:45,635
l always did know how to make an exit.
85
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:48,533
(ALARM BLARING)
86
00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:50,166
Ta-da!
87
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,102
Don't try this at home, kids.
88
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:15,700
(WHooPING)
89
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:18,166
(THUDDING)
90
00:07:20,099 --> 00:07:21,433
Peekaboo.
91
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,001
Sorry, no riders.
92
00:07:25,132 --> 00:07:26,132
(YELLS)
93
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,134
(TIRES SCREECHING)
94
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:37,605
Now to treat Mr. Cameron Kaiser
to a real blowout opening.
95
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:39,635
(CACKLING)
96
00:07:49,933 --> 00:07:51,601
l didn't mind driving down here
97
00:07:51,666 --> 00:07:53,667
at a moment's notice
with your equipment.
98
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:57,502
And l was happy to dream up
a plausible alibi for your date.
99
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,870
But staying in this horrid place
pushes even my tolerance.
100
00:08:02,433 --> 00:08:03,534
Mine too.
101
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:04,933
But l'm convinced
102
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,203
it wasn't Kaiser's original goal
to make a Joker-themed casino.
103
00:08:11,132 --> 00:08:13,701
-See?
-But why the deception?
104
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,468
That's what l intend to find out.
105
00:08:17,466 --> 00:08:19,267
(HEAD LAUGHING)
106
00:08:43,933 --> 00:08:46,835
''Camelot.'' Hmm.
107
00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:01,169
Looks like Kaiser
broke the bank on this place.
108
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:08,434
What an interesting hobby
you've got, Cameron.
109
00:09:11,299 --> 00:09:12,299
Hey, you.
110
00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:26,099
(GRoANS)
111
00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:30,834
(CoUGHING)
112
00:09:34,266 --> 00:09:36,601
Where are you? Come out and fight.
113
00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:48,933
(LAUGHING)
114
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,533
(WHISTLES)
115
00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:04,301
Jumpin' Jiminy Christmas.
116
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,334
lt's an homage to me.
117
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,001
l'm kind oF sorry l have to blow it up.
118
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,803
Go on and open table six.
We got players waiting.
119
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,500
Hmm.
120
00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:23,766
(SNIFFING)
121
00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:27,168
Then again, all work and no play...
122
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:28,266
(CACKLES)
123
00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:32,800
Good evening, folks.
124
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,768
The game is blackiack.
125
00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:40,001
Joker's rules, of course.
126
00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:41,099
(GIGGLES)
127
00:10:47,032 --> 00:10:48,967
Ooh! Blackiack already.
128
00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:51,034
Lucky me.
129
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,600
-Hey.
-What?
130
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:53,800
Hold on.
131
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:55,501
JOKER: Don't be sore losers.
132
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,435
We're here to have Fun.
133
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:03,769
Mr. Kaiser, that dealer's
doing something screwy.
134
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:05,301
l'm calling security.
135
00:11:05,366 --> 00:11:06,767
No. Wait.
136
00:11:08,433 --> 00:11:11,702
Ooh! Mercy me. Another blackiack.
137
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,369
One might think l had
an ace up my s1eeve.
138
00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:17,367
Let him deal.
139
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,601
Yes, sir. You're the boss.
140
00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,267
(JoKER CACKLING)
141
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:34,702
-Try your luck, friend?
-Why not?
142
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,668
Say, don't l know you?
143
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:40,534
Sure. Bruce Wayne.
144
00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:42,099
Huh.
145
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:45,469
So this is how your family
made all those billions.
146
00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:50,035
The secret's out. And you are?
147
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,036
Oh, iust a nameless clown,
shuffling my life away.
148
00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:58,602
Too bad it has to be in such
gruesome surroundings.
149
00:12:02,099 --> 00:12:03,834
Don't care for the decor?
150
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:07,603
Not hardly. All those horrible faces
grinning at me.
151
00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:10,535
That would do things
to my mind after a while.
152
00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:13,268
Who says you have one?
153
00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:18,035
Yeah, l'd be ready
for the laughing academy
154
00:12:18,132 --> 00:12:21,335
if l had to stare
at that ugly clown all day.
155
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:25,102
-Why l ought to...
-Hit me.
156
00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:30,433
(GASPS)
157
00:12:32,032 --> 00:12:33,133
Twenty.
158
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,769
Oh, lucky me. Twenty-one.
159
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,270
How nice. A little something
for the Wayne Charity Fund.
160
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,333
Good night.
161
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,333
(GRoWLS)
162
00:12:54,466 --> 00:12:55,834
He's here.
163
00:12:57,132 --> 00:12:58,500
Place your bets, folks.
164
00:12:58,867 --> 00:12:59,867
(ALL GASP)
165
00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:02,134
-BATMAN: You.
-Huh?
166
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,266
-Batman.
-lt's Batman.
167
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:05,367
l don't believe it.
168
00:13:05,466 --> 00:13:08,035
-lt is Batman!
-What's he doing here?
169
00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,200
Whoops! Time to cash out.
170
00:13:13,132 --> 00:13:14,266
-Hey!
-Hey.
171
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:16,633
MAN: Stop that guy.
172
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:29,333
(CACKLING)
173
00:13:31,666 --> 00:13:32,666
(ALL CLAMoRING)
174
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:37,099
(MAN SCREAMS)
175
00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:41,199
(TIRES SCREECH)
176
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,500
(CACKLING)
177
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:56,767
Here's where l get off.
178
00:13:58,299 --> 00:13:59,299
Whoo!
179
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,968
J
Not bad for a starter
180
00:14:15,099 --> 00:14:17,768
but the real fireworks
are still to come.
181
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,370
Whoops! Coming through. Hot stuff.
One side, please.
182
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,036
l wouldn't take odds on this place
Iasting the night. (CHUCKLES)
183
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,700
(JoKER HUMMING)
184
00:14:57,099 --> 00:14:58,433
MAN: Helipad.
185
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,436
l want my personal 'copter
ready for takeo Ff in 20 minutes.
186
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,534
Yes, sir, Mr. Kaiser.
187
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:12,534
(GASPS)
188
00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:14,801
Going somewhere?
189
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,669
First you trash my penthouse,
then my casino.
190
00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:19,867
You gonna wreck something else?
191
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,602
lf l didn't know better, l'd say
you wanted this place destroyed.
192
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:29,471
After spending 300 million to build it?
That's not good business, my friend.
193
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,534
l've seen the unpaid bills.
194
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,001
Building this casino has bankrupted you.
195
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,935
That's why you turned it
into a target for the Joker.
196
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:40,168
Once he destroys it,
you'll collect the insurance money.
197
00:15:40,766 --> 00:15:42,767
You hit the iackpot, Batman.
198
00:15:43,466 --> 00:15:45,835
But l've got too much at stake
to be stopped now.
199
00:15:46,633 --> 00:15:48,434
(YELLS)
200
00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:54,802
Ah! You again.
201
00:15:56,099 --> 00:15:59,702
-What do we do with him, boss?
-Send him down to his Friend.
202
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,600
(JoKER HUMMING)
203
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,001
-Huh?
-(ELEvmoR DINcs)
204
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,099
(GRoANING)
205
00:16:13,466 --> 00:16:16,836
Kind of slow on the reflexes, eh, Batsy?
206
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:20,635
That car crash must have taken
more out of you than l thought.
207
00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:22,501
(CACKLING)
208
00:16:34,366 --> 00:16:36,601
Wakey, wakey.
209
00:16:37,533 --> 00:16:38,533
(GRoANING)
210
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,134
(STRAINING)
211
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,336
Thought you'd like to be conscious
for your own demise.
212
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:54,269
l really put some effort into this one.
213
00:16:57,032 --> 00:16:58,333
Once l spin the wheel,
214
00:16:58,433 --> 00:16:59,967
you, the casino
215
00:17:00,032 --> 00:17:04,803
and that strutting fool Kaiser
will all be blown sky-high.
216
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:06,967
Not bad, eh?
217
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:11,303
You won't get Kaiser.
He's been playing you for a patsy.
218
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,032
Eh?
219
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,534
He's counting on you
to blow this place up
220
00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:16,967
so he can collect the insurance.
221
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,301
By the time you get clear,
222
00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:21,534
Kaiser will be miles away,
Iaughing at you.
223
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:24,334
l hate it when you make sense.
224
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:32,169
l'll settle my score
with Kaiser, man to clown.
225
00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:34,701
But that still doesn't
Iet you off the hook.
226
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:39,801
(WHEEL WHIRRING)
227
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:51,269
How about that, Bats?
Looks like your number's up.
228
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,602
(CACKLING)
229
00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:02,833
(STRAINING)
230
00:18:31,666 --> 00:18:34,435
-Get me out of here now!
-Yes, sir.
231
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,800
(MAN GRUNTING)
232
00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,166
What happened?
233
00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:48,868
Some clown jumped me
and grabbed my 'copter.
234
00:18:48,967 --> 00:18:50,301
Mr. Kaiser's up there.
235
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,501
What are you circling for, you fool?
236
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:03,203
-lt was a scheme worthy of me, Kaiser.
-(cAsps)
237
00:19:03,299 --> 00:19:07,936
The way you got me riled up
and turned me loose on this place.
238
00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:12,769
You... You were supposed to
destroy the casino.
239
00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:16,669
Yeah, but then l realized
it'd be more fun to get rid of you
240
00:19:16,766 --> 00:19:18,267
and run the show myself.
241
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,266
But you can't!
242
00:19:20,766 --> 00:19:25,604
Oh, please, Mr. Kaiser,
you of all people should've realized
243
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:27,501
there'd be a ioker in the deck.
244
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,601
(CACKLING)
245
00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:35,868
Why can't he ever stay dead?
246
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,535
(GUNSHoTS)
247
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,034
JOKER: Gotcha!
248
00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:08,466
Yes.
249
00:20:14,466 --> 00:20:17,368
(HEAD LAUGHING)
250
00:20:20,032 --> 00:20:23,668
That's it. Chew him up and spit him out.
251
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:24,833
(JoKER CACKLING)
252
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,666
Stop! You'll kill us all!
253
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
(GRoANS)
254
00:21:16,533 --> 00:21:18,368
-(CHIMING)
-(AuTommED voIcE wHoopINc)
255
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:28,104
And so it ended for both ex-biIlionaire
Cameron Ka�ser and the Joker.
256
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:30,935
Ah! Enough oF this rubbish.
257
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000
PAMELA: Hey!
258
00:21:32,099 --> 00:21:33,700
ALL: We were watching that.
259
00:21:35,132 --> 00:21:36,132
(LAUGHS NERVoUSLY)
260
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,667
And was returned to Arkham.
261
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:43,436
Ah, you bunch of no-good,
whacked-out losers.
262
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,667
You make me sick.
263
00:21:49,633 --> 00:21:51,634
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
18114
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