Original subtitles

Emma, look at you. This is quite a stack you have here.

Must be stocking up for the winter break, huh?

Would you mind I added one more to your pile?

Treasure Island?

Argh! Pirate's buried gold. You're gonna love it.

I promise.

All right.

Here you go.

- Thank you, Mr. Blanche. - You're so welcome!

You still pushing that old-ass book.

I gave you Sherlock Holmes when you were her age.

And you didn't complain.

That's 'cause Sherlock Holmes was a stone-cold genius,

not a filthy pirate.

Robert Louis Stevenson and Arthur Conan Doyle were friends.

They-- pen pals, really. They never actually met.

They had plans to, but Stevenson...

- Mr. Blanche! - Ooh!

- Mr. Blanche!

- Stay still! Stay still!

Stay with me, just breathe.

- Somebody call 911!

Ma'am, somebody call the ambulance!

Well, because your mom had you for Thanksgiving, and we agreed.

Aspen, Aspen. That sounds fun.

Look, okay, what if we just--

After New Year's, we'll just figure it out.

Okay. Okay. I love you, Nick.

Your daughter?

That's what you get when you spend 200 days a year working whether you...

I'm sorry.

- Plan "B"? - Uh, well...

my old firm's holiday party is this week.

I was thinking about crashing it as a drunken, belligerent Santa.

Dan Aykroyd, Trading Places.

I get the reference.

I guess the holidays must be hard for you, too, huh?

Let's go see if they've opened that wine.

Wow, they've really been bugging you about your Christmas plans. Hm!

- Why are you looking at my phone? - It lit up!

Alec says we've been getting a bunch of raids on our firewall lately.

- Don't! - Oh, what's that about?

Oh, so he has time for cybersecurity but not to come spend Christmas with me?

What are you doing? Now, why do you have to cause problems?

Oh, please. Everybody just settle down. Let's play nice.

- It's the holidays! - We have been working hard.

- We have. - We deserve a break.

- We do. - All right?

Look at this spread that I made!

This is stupid.

Oh.

My brother was right, he does get Grinchy around the holidays.

Grinch is gonna go get more wine.

Carolers?

Eliot Spencer?

- No. - I need your help.

You and your friends over there.

I'm sorry, pal, you got the wrong place.

Can you just hear me out?

Please?

So, I am 10 years old, I'm gay,

and I'm running away from the school bully.

Typical day in the fifth grade.

But this day, I get kinda lost,

so I duck into the first building I could find-- the town library.

Good choice.

Right.

And the librarian, Mr. Blanche, hides me,

chases away the bully.

Then he asks me what's my favorite book.

"Why, the Bible, sir. My dad's a preacher."

Mr. Blanche walks me through the library,

pulls down Roald Dahl, E.B. White.

Hands me a stack of 'em.

Said, "I'm sorry, sir. I can't take these home.

My father won't allow it."

Mr. Blanche doesn't even blink.

He says, "That's okay.

I'll keep these for you behind the counter and you can read them after school."

So that's what I did.

Every day.

So the library became your sanctuary?

And more.

Reading introduced a whole new world for me.

College, nursing school, I owe it all to Mr. Blanche.

So it's not about you.

It's about him.

He's got cancer.

He's asymptomatic now, but he's in stage four.

Refuses to get treatment.

And now he's started having episodes with his heart.

I'm... so sorry, Maurice.

I know what it's like to lose someone.

But...

I don't see how we can help you.

I mean, we go after guilty parties.

If your friend, for example, had become sick by...

I don't know, poisoned groundwater, or--or asbestos, or...

Look, I don't want you to go after anyone.

I want you to make Mr. Blanche feel like a real hero.

Like the ones he reads about in those books.

Just... for one day.

One Christmas wish.

The game is "Forehead Detective."

You have to guess the character on your forehead.

Oh. Huh?

What-- um...

Oh!

Oh!

Guys, this is insanity!

You know, you're talking about a guy in fragile health

on some madcap adventure.

It's not what we do!

Does it only have to be about revenge?

Why not? I'm fine with revenge.

It affords us a range of outcomes the mark deserves.

This librarian's totally innocent.

What about the drummer boy? Huh?

Ba-rum-pum-pum-pum!

I mean, do you really think he could play?

No! Lying to people to make them feel better at Christmas,

that's what it's all about!

That and presents.

Mr. Wilson?

Well, I'm all for taking a break.

But sometimes it just reminds you of the things you miss.

Eliot, you want to take some time off.

Well, he'll take any excuse to visit his secret girlfriend.

- Ooh... - I think...

I think you'd write a hell of a story for Mr. Blanche.

This is totally bonkers.

Oh, I knew it was Houdini!

If we do this. If...

Then we have to treat him like any other mark.

We watch, we learn.

We profile.

Yes!

Come on, man. Just tell me.

Who's your Santa baby?

I know, is it the lady that fills up the propane tanks on the trucks?

Just let it go. What do we know about our Mr. Blanche?

Uh, town librarian for the past 30 years,

Never married, no passport.

The guy doesn't really like to go far from home.

He's only been in the news one time,

ten years ago when they tried to shut down the library.

Mr. Blanche led the charge to save it.

I guess there's a lot of Maurices out there.

All right.

- Well, we know he likes to read, so... - Yeah.

Go check on-- do your-- thing. Go do your thing.

No. Way.

Do you know what that i-- Do you know what this is?

This is a 386 Gateway 2000 PC...

- Shh! -...with a floppy drive!

Oh, you gorgeous antique!

Yes! Okay, according to the library network,

here is a list of all the books he's taken out over the years.

- Whoa. What?

That's... a lot of books.

Ten thousand over 30 years is about one a day.

Can you narrow it down just a teeny bit?

Okay, breaking it down by the card catalog,

it's mostly fiction. Uh, mystery-slash-detective...

Action adventure, horror-slash-fantasy...

paranormal romance.

Guy checked out Shogun a dozen times.

Thing's like a brick. Must be an Olympic-level reader.

What is our story gonna be?

For our librarian to be hero for the day,

I don't think a sprawling saga of feudal Japan is gonna work for us.

Hm.

Although I do have a really nice kimono.

Ah.

- So do I.

That I don't want to see.

Well...

Should I get it?

Hey! What are you doing in here?

Get up! You can't be in here. Pick it up. Let's go.

Excuse me, sir!

This is a public library. He has just as much right to be here as you do.

- Come on. - Take your hands off of him.

What about my rights?

I pay my taxes.

So you can just mind your--

Leave.

You good?

Thank you for your service.

As if the homeless don't have enough to worry about.

Well, you librarians got a lot on your plate, huh?

- Man, you have no idea. - Uh-huh.

However...

What we like to do here is recommend good books.

So, what can I do for you today?

Oh.

Uh...

Hmm.

What were you guys even talking about all that time?

The kind of stories that we both like.

The unlikely hero at the wrong place at the wrong time,

up against impossible odds.

So going on a starship with a plucky sidekick ain't gonna cut it for this guy.

Nope.

We're gonna give Mr. Blanche a pulse-pounding spy adventure.

Huh. I like the science of sounds.

Maybe a bit louder, more paper bits flying out.

Copy that!

Representative Agent!

Press one for reservation.

If you go out and get me a helicopter, we can do it at the docks.

- In a cigarette boat. Press two for directions.

- Agent! -Press one.

Agent!

Oh! He got a red one! It's really flashy!

But it's Christmassy.

Ah, there's my director. I have a little question about the script.

It's a story of honor and treachery.

When a spy's betrayed, it's up to a small-town librarian

to complete the mission and save the day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. And I love all that.

My question has to do with this.

Our Mr. Wilson enters.

Yes, but where am I coming from, what just happened,

how do I feel about it?

Oh, you just flew in from Berlin on a G-IV,

and you radiate the confidence of a man secure in his convictions.

Breanna, put the button cam down.

Right. Tomorrow's showtime.

I needn't remind you

that our mark isn't driven by greed, revenge, or fear,

the normal buttons we push.

This is a simple man living a simple life,

but this makes it infinitely more difficult for us to deceive him.

So we've all got to be on top of our game. Any questions?

I hired three of my buddies from the service.

They're playing the stunt fighters. Can I get six?

If you can get me a free helicopter, otherwise, no.

Ooh! What if things get too exciting for Mr. Blanche, and he, you know--

Ooh! We need a safe word.

- A safe word's when things get too hot. - Well, I--

Yeah, we know what it is.

Eliot, actually, you're gonna be the one that knows if he's in distress,

so you should choose.

I know. Okay. It's-- can't be something out of a spy story, so...

- Pickle. - Peanut butter.

Uh, Winnebago.

Right. There you go.

So if Eliot says "Winnebago," we abort. Any other questions?

No.

Ah, here's the hero.

Told you that was a page-turner.

Did you come back for another?

I need your help.

Time to tell the tale.

You need to go to the hospital.

No. No. It's just a graze.

No doctors. They'll find me there.

- Who's "they"?

Who attacked you?

It doesn't matter, okay?

You can tell me, or you can tell the police.

Your choice.

This is the pivotal moment in any con.

It's bigger than the blow-off and ascend.

It's the moment when you just, you push the mark right to the edge

to convince him the story you're telling him is true.

It's called "The Convincer." You ready?

All right.

- You want the truth? - Yes.

I'm a spy.

I've been staying in a safe house on the outskirts of town.

I was waiting to make a dead drop on some intel,

but I was compromised.

And if I don't get this to my caseworker,

innocent people are gonna die.

Will you help me?

Come on!

He's in.

Damn, Eliot. You know, I thought that little raspy world-weary thing you did

was kinda played, but Gramps bought it!

All right, get in.

This is my car here.

No, no, no. See, the people who are looking for you,

they know what you're driving.

No, no, no, no. This-- look, but--

Listen, whoa, whoa, whoa--

Get in!

Hey.

- You said you didn't want to--

What are you-- what are you doing?

That's it! Here we go!

Yeah-oh!

That was a little unexpected Grand Theft Auto from our reader!

Be careful, Eliot.

Thanks for doing this for us.

Oh, I'm not just doing it for you.

I mean...

I'm doing it for Nate also.

He would've liked this stuff, huh?

He would've hated it.

Which would've made me want to do it all the more.

You know, just like Mr. Blanche, we all need a little...

nudge out of our comfort zone. Hm?

I'll stick to the back roads, avoid any CCTV.

Where to?

I found a hacker on the dark web.

I need to send an encrypted message to my case officer,

set up a hand-off.

Here's the address.

- Don't you... - No tracers.

It's my phone.

After you give your boss this flash drive, what happens then?

Exfiltration.

I'm gonna get on a helicopter, you're going back to the library.

Back to the same desk I've been sitting at for the last 30 years.

Oh, is that where you learned to hotwire a car?

That would be my misspent teen years.

I'm not judging ya.

I've raised my fair share of hell.

And I am sorry for getting you into this.

Want to know the truth?

This is the most alive I've felt in years.

I gotta warn you, this hacker's a little...

Ya know, it's-- I mean, who buys a planetarium?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God.

Are you Dire Wrath?

I... we spoke on the phone.

- I need to-- Shh!

Why don't you say my handle a little louder, man?!

You didn't cast me as the hacker?

Because I need you to actually be the hacker.

You guys hungry?

- Got Hot Pockets. No thank you.

I need you to send this encrypted message.

Decode the response.

And I don't have to tell ya, if we're intercepted,

we're dead.

What do you think I am, man?

Some skitty from Def-con? Pssh.

I cater to an exclusive clientele.

You two look like a couple of real estate agents.

Hey, wait! She should check out the flash drive.

That's all right, I already did that.

No, no, no. That was before you were attacked.

Maybe they tried to wipe it so that you couldn't complete your mission.

Right?

Oh! The only thing on that flash drive is Eliot's secret chili recipe!

Well, that is a problem!

Like that's my fault?

I wasn't in charge of the props!

Who was in charge of the story?

Oh.

"One and a half pounds of ground 80-20 beef...

two cups of yellow..."

Well, I'm not gonna put the real stuff on it, man, so just, uh, you know...

You could stop-- decode it.

Just... decode it.

Ah.

Hang on, Parker.

Decoding Eliot's chili recipe now.

Also sending you the decrypted file for the hand-off location.

Hey, Miss. Yes. Thank you.

All up there. We got it. Hey. Good call, Robert.

Oh, hey, look, your friend, uh...

just sent the location for your meeting.

Oh. Next time...

why don't you guys hang out a little longer with me, you know?

We could watch some TNG.

I'm good. Thank. We have a meeting.

Damn it.

What's "TNG"?

All right, this is where we make the drop.

Public place.

Lots of visibility.

Your boss made a good choice.

Focus. Okay...

♪ Santa Baby... ♪

Oh!

- Ah! - Ooh! Cocoa!

- Mm. Mm. Mm.

What's that?

Oh, another attack on our servers.

No drama. Our shields are holding fine.

- Let's enjoy the show!

Cheers.

This is our big action scene.

Diners, when the punches begin to fly, I need you to move quickly to the exits.

I don't want anyone getting hurt.

And no, you can't have this for your reel.

Let's go over it again.

When Eliot realizes he's been betrayed by his boss, he'll stand up.

Now that's the cue for the stunt performers to enter and attack.

We have to make sure that Eliot

gets to hand off the flash drive to Mr. Blanche, who can deliver it to me.

That's his big hero moment.

Copy. Stunt team in position.

You look like hell.

An idea who hit ya?

They were all wearing black.

They had masks on.

I'll keep my head on a swivel.

Who's the civilian?

That's Robert Blanche.

He got me here in one piece. We owe him.

I'm no hero. More like an Uber.

Well, Mr. Blanche, today you earned four stars.

If that intel had fallen into the wrong hands,

the world would be a lot less safe, I can promise you that.

Thank you for your service.

Ahh!

Wait, wait, whoa! Wait, how-- how do you--?

This is a setup.

I think your boss sent these hostiles after you.

Our reader's ahead of the story, it means he's hooked. Go with it.

Right, right, right. You know what? There's bound to be more of them.

Square up.

You're right. Here they come.

Who the--?

Give us the Ledger and we'll let you go.

Stay back.

Wow. Eliot's stunt guys are really going for it.

Wait, aren't they supposed to be wearing masks?

Oh!

Winnebag-- Eee!

Forget Copperhead.

Take Spencer, he's got the Ledger.

Hey, man, that's my bike!

Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Did I miss a rewrite? I mean, who the hell grabbed Eliot?

My guess? Whoever's been targeting our servers.

They're really good.

I mean, they got the drop on Eliot's stunt team.

Tied them up in their own van.

Well, if you guys don't know who they are,

maybe we should ask the deadly hands of AARP.

Who the hell's that guy?

Yeah, 'cause he's definitely not just a librarian.

You got that right. Here's his bag.

- Whoa! A gun? - Oh! What?

Okay, there's that and...

four fake passports and night vision goggles.

Holy cow. The librarian's actually a spy?

I should've known it was you R.I.Z. clowns.

Mm.

I can tell because you hire all these mall cops.

She didn't send me.

Who you workin' for now?

You're in no position to ask.

And before you start lying, my team's already decrypted the flash drive.

I know it's not the real Ledger.

I don't know what you're talking about.

That chili recipe is gold. Gold, I tell ya.

Most of us thought Copperhead was dead.

And in just a few days, you managed to find him,

reactivate him, and get the Ledger.

Impressive.

Now where is it?

You're right.

We found the Rattlesnake guy and...

I have what you want in my truck.

Relax, boys. I'll get it.

Mr. Kelsey, the kit, please.

T-Truth serum?

I've already had every kind they've ever made.

It's standard O.P.

You'd know that if you took the time to hire

the quality guys you should--

Hell, I bet ICE wouldn't even hire these cats.

It's very rude of you to keep harping on my staff's inadequacies

when you won't come on board and teach them.

Unless...

Well, then.

We had the perfect con. A Christmas spy caper.

And then the mark had to ruin it by being a real spy.

Breanna, any luck plugging in Mr. Blanche's face into the DoD database

you're not supposed to have access to?

Uh, yeah. So they used to call him Copperhead,

and this dude was fire.

I mean, black bag ops, extractions.

His name pops up on dozens of highly redacted, hella top secret documents.

Then 30 years ago, he just vanishes.

Exactly around the time Robert Blanche

came into existence as a small-town librarian.

Yes.

How does that help us find Eliot?

Short answer is, it doesn't.

I think we need to come to terms with the idea

that maybe Eliot wasn't the target.

You mean, he was just an unlikely hero in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Some hero.

Now unless you want a bullet,

I suggest you tell me exactly who the hell you people are

and why you've been trying to destroy my life.

When Copperhead disappeared, he took a retirement package.

A cache of information about certain people who've since risen

to positions of considerable power.

Yesterday's warlords are now today's titans of industry.

And even leaders of nations.

They called it "The Ledger."

More blackmail material for you.

Most people thought the Ledger ended up in a shallow grave

along with Copperhead himself.

No one was even looking for him anymore

until the tail that I put on you snapped his picture by accident.

Merry Christmas to me.

I assume you're running a con to get the Ledger, but...

perhaps I was mistaken.

So, if you don't know where the Ledger is...

where's Copperhead?

I'm not gonna tell-- I'm not gonna tell you.

I wouldn't tell you if I knew where he was.

Right now I'm just looking at all the pretty colors.

Mm. It's called Red Haze.

"Red Haze."

Reacts with the neurochemicals in your brain to heighten memory and emotion.

If I just leave you sitting there, you could be bombarded

by random bad memories.

But if I knew your most traumatic experience,

I can just say...

"Operation Kansas."

They call it "PTSD in a bottle."

A Christmas present.

Yup. How'd we do?

Well, your fake story was pretty good.

Of course, a true hero would have to die at the end.

As I'd love to continue discussing Joseph Campbell

and the hero's journey all day long,

but can I raise the point that Eliot is still MIA?

Yeah, and it's kinda your fault, so... any idea who did it?

Well, their fighting styles were all over the map,

so I'd say that they were private.

But I couldn't begin to tell you who the major players are these days.

R.I.Z.

Who's that?

Private security company more powerful

than some countries' intelligence agencies.

We've dealt with them before.

Our group of super secret bad guys with zero digital footprint?

They'll be easy to find.

Try the Flanders Group.

It's a shell company that R.I.Z. sometimes uses.

And you know this because...?

You used them at your old firm.

Holding out on us again, Mr. Wilson.

Okay, the Flanders Group rents space at an office park outside of town.

Well, thanks for your help, Mis--

Wonderful.

You had to go and tell him it was his fault that Eliot got nicked.

What? He's a super spy, right?

I don't know, maybe he Mission Impossibles in

and gets Eliot out.

I'm not betting Eliot's life on a maybe,

and I'm not letting a man with stage four cancer

get killed on a job we guilted him into.

Let's go get the truck.

Mr. Wilson!

Stay here in case Mr. Blanche comes back.

We'll speak later.

Operation Kansas happened at Christmastime,

didn't it?

Holidays must be so difficult for you.

Is that why you're reluctant to spend them with your father?

How long has it been since you saw him last?

Don't...

His friend from Vietnam has invited you to join them.

Very sweet of him.

All you have to do to make it stop

is give me Copperhead.

Mr. Kelsey has the antidote ready and waiting.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's...

three...

tablespoons of chopped garlic.

One teaspoon of smoked paprika.

Typical RTI tactics.

- Two table-- - We're gonna do it the hard way, then.

...of chili powder.

Give him another dose. Don't let the drug leave his system.

...tablespoons of corn masa...

you don't use corn starch, you use corn masa...

Parker's right. The loading dock's the only way in.

Problem. There's a camera on the loading dock.

Okay, I can disable that remotely, but that is gonna take some time.

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best.

Parker!

Stop! The camera's blocked now.

Spencer, hang on.

- I'm almost done.

Hey, hey, hey, come on. Come on. Let's get out of here.

Uniform?

New guy.

- Shined shoes. - Bingo.

- Weapon. - Improvised snow globe.

Exit.

Parker, exit.

Loading docks. Just a straight shot up across three junctions

- and then down a teeny-tiny chute. - Yeah.

I'm not crazy about it either, but she knows her vents.

The saline bag should flush out most of that Red Haze.

This dragon lady, she ain't gonna let up

until she gets that Ledger.

Well, that's a problem 'cause that Ledger doesn't exist, not anymore.

You destroyed it?

My last op went south, and the Ledger was on a floppy disk

and it got destroyed.

She ain't gonna buy that.

Nobody would.

That's why I ran.

I knew they'd never stop looking.

- Who? You name it.

The Company, OPEC, the Vatican.

None of them would believe that the Ledger was gone.

That's why I had to hide in plain sight,

become the kind of man that nobody sees.

A small-town librarian.

Wasn't a bad plan. Worked for 30 years but...

now, Maurice...

all the people I know here, they're never gonna be safe

as long as R.I.Z. thinks I have that Ledger.

So let's give it to them.

Um, was I the only one here for the "it got destroyed" part?

It doesn't have to be the real one.

We just have to make a convincing copy of the Ledger.

How are you gonna do that? We don't even know what was on it.

Maybe we don't need to.

You said that the Ledger was on this 30-year-old floppy disk, right?

Yeah.

Well, I'm sure you guys all know they don't last that long.

I can fake a dummy disk.

Just something that will convince R.I.Z.

that the data broke down over time.

All right, how would you arrange the hand-off?

I'm sure we don't want to go to

the suburban office park of torture anymore.

Oh, I might be able to help with that one.

That dragon lady, I think I know why she's in town.

My old firm never took me off the holiday party invite list.

I figured you'd want something fancy.

Parker! Where did you get that?

I bought it.

Now that Eliot's safe, give me one good reason

why I shouldn't cut you loose for holding out on us about R.I.Z.

Hitter, hacker, grifter, thief...

tax lawyer.

Didn't exactly come with the flashiest resumé.

You were afraid we wouldn't let you aboard our little pirate ship.

As far as R.I.Z. goes, my firm hired them for data collection,

and I never asked.

It's becoming a pattern, your keeping secrets from us, Mr. Wilson.

Sophie Devereaux?

Alexandra Bligh.

I was just about to check out the signed auction. Care to join me?

Oop. Just us girls.

I don't negotiate with amateurs.

It's fine.

They don't murder people at private clubs.

It's unbecoming to the members.

Your team of misfit toys has been making a lot of trouble for me.

At first, I found you sort of amusing.

But now I'm annoyed.

Is that why you've been stalking us and poking around in our servers?

You just needed a good laugh.

You think I'm scared of you?

Either that or you're jealous.

I mean, that's the only explanation I can think of for your rather creepy behavior.

Let's cut the chitchat, shall we?

Is this the part where you tell me that

this town isn't big enough for the both of us?

Hardly.

Actually, I see no reason why Leverage and R.I.Z. can't coexist quite happily.

We just need to agree on the terms.

- What terms? - You give me Copperhead.

He's still wanted in multiple countries.

He'll fetch a lovely bounty.

He's an old man with no power.

You just want him for the Ledger.

And I won't give it up unless you let him go free and clear.

His freedom for the Ledger?

That's my offer. Delivery at the docks tomorrow at 7 a.m.

I'll text you the slip.

And if I'm not interested?

Well, if you want to get really annoyed, just say no.

And I'll sell it to your biggest competitor.

I looked for you in the bar.

This is a surprise.

The only quiet place to answer my emails.

What are you doing here, Harry?

Oh, maybe I'm the ghost of Christmas past.

Oh, come to show me the error of my ways.

When I was a first-year associate,

you showed me how to practice law the right way.

With integrity, honor. Remember?

Sure.

Then you showed me a different way.

You showed us all.

I'm not like that anymore.

Come on. Robin Hood!

This is your post-breakdown death penalty case.

You scratched that itch. It's time for you to come home.

You think I'm a tourist?

I've got new partners now.

You tell your new partners about that fund you looted

for those plane crash victims?

Tell them about that deal you cut them for that narco?

The one that drops his rivals in acid.

You tell them about Crutchfield?

They have no idea who you really are.

The choices I made cost me my marriage.

Cost me my daughter.

I don't have to keep making them.

And neither do you.

It wouldn't take much for you to be a hero.

Just walk away.

You didn't get that invitation by mistake.

I've got your office ready and waiting for you, Harry.

See you soon.

You think they're actually gonna buy this?

If Hardison's...

if Breanna says it's gonna work, it'll work.

That stuff really did a number on you, huh?

That and knowing what buttons to push.

Operation Kansas.

I heard it over their comms. I don't mean to pry.

Can't be easy keeping that kind of stuff down.

Well... you know, the work helps.

Keeps the mind busy.

Like you and your-- what, these 10,000 books you've read?

The cancer, man.

Why aren't you seeking treatment?

That's not how I want to go out.

You-- you...

That sounds exactly like my old man.

Is he a stubborn ass, too?

Yeah...

I haven't spoken to him since I was 18.

I feel like I...

waited too long to...

I feel like I've waited too long.

Like an old man in a library.

Okay.

How long till the hand-off at the docks?

Two hours.

That can't be good.

- The hell? Guess he got tired of waiting. - Mm-hmm.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. They're here? Already?

Mr. Wilson, prepare to go on the offense.

And, Breanna, looks like we're gonna need that convincer after all.

Yeah, uh, queuing up.

Everybody ready?

Breanna?

Go.

Get the damn lights back on!

Hey, how's it going?

Offense. I like it.

Yeah, you better use both of you, come here!

Get back! Back!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Blanche!

Blanche!

Don't you press-- Don't you--

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Get the disk. It's on him somewhere.

Blanche! Blanche! Blanche!

Blanche! Blanche! Come on, don't do this, man.

Why did you do that? Help! Help!

Don't do this, man. Blanche! Blanche!

Come on! Help!

So, no Ledger.

And no Copperhead.

They fired first.

He's worth nothing to me dead.

You're terminated.

No. No.

Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm not gonna kill you.

This is a business.

I'd remind you of the NDA you signed.

Violate it, and I shall have no choice

but to reveal your juvenile justice record,

army court-martial,

and that rather unspeakable incident in Reno.

Just finished the sweep. No bugs.

You hear that? You're clear.

We're just lucky they found the disk right away

and didn't stumble on this thing.

All right, Mr. Blanche, this is not gonna hurt a bit.

I just need this about right here.

Fold that up and we thank you!

You're set.

Yeah, we're also lucky that they all use the same guns.

And that nobody looks at their clips during a firefight.

And like a true hero, he is resurrected.

But dead to the rest of the world.

Congratulations, Mr. Blanche.

You've got a new chapter to write.

Thank you.

Hey, would you check this one out for me?

Sure.

How did you figure it out?

You check that out every December.

Which is strange for a 1,200-page book that doesn't exactly scream "Christmas."

But as it turns out, a book needs to be checked out at least once a year

to stay in circulation in the Kenner Public Library.

I've read plenty of books more than once.

Yeah, but that one's about a lonely hero in an unfamiliar land.

It was a big deal a long time ago.

Kind of the perfect book for a librarian to look after for 30 years.

Well, I did tell one truth.

I never looked at this thing. Not a single time, not once.

Wait, whoa, hold on a second.

That has dirt on the point-zero-zero-zero-one percent,

and you never even looked at it?

Much more of a fiction man myself.

It's sad that I've wasted 30 years of my life guarding this thing.

No.

You weren't guarding it.

You were protecting everyone that walked through that door,

or was chased in.

You saved lives.

You changed others.

I can't think of a better life spent.

Now, see, that's a real bucket list.

You don't have to hotwire it.

Well, this is for you.

- Hm. - You give--?

And, hey...

Remember that thing that we talked about?

Don't wait.

Isn't that car a rental?

And there goes the budget.

Oh! I got you all a little somethin' somethin'.

That's yours on top.

For Aspen. Goes to your daughter.

Well, she didn't invite me.

Well, neither did we. It didn't stop you.

The Mr. Wilson we know is very persistent.

Thank you.

Yours is the bottom.

And here's yours.

- Ooh!

- Yeah. - It's kinda heavy.

From 1996?

How did you know?

Well, I'm nothing if not observant.

Speaking of old tech, what was on that floppy?

Oh, unreadable. Yeah.

Turns out I was right. Thirty years is too long.

Hmm. So the Ledger was a myth after all?

Probably best it stays that way.

Where's Eliot?