Original subtitles

(ROOSTER CROWS)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Luisa.

Luisa, are you coming down soon?

"Kiss number 60.

"The kiss upon the eyes.

"The eyelid kiss is said to produce

"a unique sensation of an unworldly nature,

"running from the base of the spine to the knees."

BELLOMY: Luisa.

What you been doing up there, dear?

Studying.

Well, that's good.

What's that for?

Number 26.

Kissing a parent.

Where are you going?

Town.

Before you go, would you do your dad a favor

and come over here a second, let me see how this fits?

I always look like a sick turkey.

Ah.

(GROANS) The neckline is too high.

Be careful...

Where did you get that?

That's your mother's necklace.

I found it in a box of old letters.

You gave it to her, didn't you?

I can't believe you were ever that romantic.

Ha!

Did you stand outside her window

and serenade her with love songs too?

Mmm.

(GARGLING)

I guess not.

There are other things in the world

as important as love songs, you know.

Like what?

Like work songs, that's like what.

Like hymns, anthems, marches.

Dirges.

Never mind.

(SIGHS)

Papa, I've got to take wing.

Be careful, it's duck season.

I don't suppose your wings

are going to carry you anywhere near that carnival, are they?

What carnival?

Luisa.

You look nice in the necklace.

(HAMMERING)

Hi, Mr. Hucklebee.

(MOUTHING WORDS)

Luisa?

How many times, since they moved in,

have I told you not to talk to that idiot next door?

Couple of hundred.

A couple of hundred times you told me not to talk to his son either.

Good for me.

And no carnival.

♪ I'd like to swim In a clear blue stream

♪ Where the water is icy cold

♪ Then go to town In a golden gown

♪ And have my fortune told

♪ Just once, just once

♪ Just once before I am old

♪ I'd like to be not evil

♪ But a little worldly wise

♪ To be the kind of girl designed

♪ To be kissed upon the eyes

♪ I'd like to dance till 2:00

♪ Or sometimes dance till dawn

♪ Or if the band could stand it

♪ Just go on and on and on

♪ Just once, just once

♪ Before the chance is gone

♪ I'd like to waste a week or two

♪ And never do a chore

♪ To wear my hair unfastened

♪ So it billows to the floor

♪ To do the things I've dreamed about

♪ But never done before

♪ Perhaps I'm bad or wild or mad

♪ With lots of grief in store

♪ But I want much more Than keepin' house

♪ Much more, much more,

♪ Much more!

Where you going?

Uh, got to make sure the hogs get fed.

You're all dressed up. Got a date with one of them?

I just got to go the store first to get the feed.

All right, and pick me up some of that cough syrup

that puts me right to sleep, will you?

I got to get back to work.

(EXCLAIMS) That's one hammer I'll never see again.

BELLOMY: Oh, yes, you will.

Keep your crud on your own side!

You keep your face and your damn bricks out of my side!

Or you'll be wearing brick earmuffs.

Thief!

Murderer!

Lunkhead!

Fuzz bucket!

He's out of his mind with love, that son of mine.

Nothing sets the heart a flutter, like a good old fashion feud.

What do you think will happen when they meet on that road to the carnival?

I don't know.

But they'll never suspect we planned it.

That son of mine, he's fantastic.

My daughter is fantastic too.

Just think if they knew that we wanted them wed.

A pre-arranged marriage?

They'd rather be dead.

Children.

Lovers.

Fantasticks.

Geese.

How cruel ever we are.

How crafty to know

to manipulate children, you merely say

no. No.

♪ Oh!

♪ Dog's got to bark, a mule's got to bray

♪ Soldiers must fight and preachers must pray

♪ And children, I guess, must get their own way

♪ The minute that you say no

♪ Why did the kids pour jam on the cat?

♪ Raspberry jam all over the cat?

♪ Why should the kids do something like that

♪ When all that we said was no?

♪ Why did the kids put beans in their ears?

♪ No one can hear with beans in their ears

♪ After a while the reason appears

♪ They did it 'cause we said no

♪ Your daughter brings a young man in

♪ Says "Do you like him, Pa?"

♪ Just tell her, "He's a fool"

♪ And then, you've got a son-in-law

♪ You've got a son-in-law!

♪ Sure as the June comes right after May!

♪ Sure as the night comes right after day!

♪ You can be sure the devil's to pay

♪ The minute that you say no

♪ No!

♪ Make sure you never say...

♪ No!

Kids.

Won't it be nice, when our kids are married

so they can drive each other crazy, instead of us?

Right. They're nearly there.

There just one thing missing for our hero and heroine, a climax.

You watch what you say, you are talking about my daughter.

And speaking in theatrical terms

we have to find some way to end the feud

without them knowing we made the whole thing up.

Well, how do you propose we do that?

That's the problem.

Wait a minute.

You see?

Whenever you got a problem

the United States Postal Service comes to the rescue.

Yeah, they run a tight shift.

Let's go, Bellomy. Let's have a talk with this fellow...

Are you crazy? We can't go to the carnival, the kids will see us,

they'll think we're looking for them.

Instant heat.

I seem to remember that's good for romance. Isn't it?

Uh-huh. Uh-ah!

Fuel to the fire.

"Specialists in dreams come true."

"Family feud settled."

What are we waiting for?

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

MATT: But soft.

What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon.

What if someone sees us?

Come on.

Our fathers.

I don't care about our fathers.

I don't care about the wall.

I don't care about anything but you.

♪ If we were in Verona long ago

♪ And just like the story, our true love forbidden

♪ I would study swordplay and I'd stand and fight them all

♪ Anyone who would come between us

♪ Would have to deal with me

♪ I'd stand and face them all

♪ As one by one they'd fall

♪ You'd fight them all

♪ They'd start to fall

BOTH: ♪ Love conquers all!

♪ Love! ♪ I am love!

♪ You are love! ♪ I am love!

♪ Better far than a metaphor can ever, ever be

♪ Love! ♪ I am love!

♪ You are love!

♪ I am love!

♪ My mystery...

♪ His mystery...

♪ Of love

♪ You are Polaris, the one trustworthy star

♪ You are! ♪ I am!

♪ You are! ♪ I am!

♪ You are September, A special mystery

♪ To me! ♪ To he!

♪ To me! ♪ To he!

♪ You are sunlight! Moonlight! Mountains! Valleys!

♪ The microscopic inside of a leaf!

♪ My joy!

♪ Yes, I am his joy!

♪ My grief! ♪ Yes, I am his grief!

♪ My star! ♪ Yes, I am his star!

♪ My leaf! ♪ Yes, I am his leaf!

♪ Oh. Love!

♪ I am love!

♪ You are love! ♪ I am love!

♪ Better far than a metaphor can ever, ever be

♪ Love!

♪ I am love!

♪ You are love!

♪ I am love!

♪ My mystery

♪ His mystery

♪ Of love

♪ Love

♪ Love

♪ Love

Do you speak English?

Oh, my God. What is it?

It's my father.

Must be this one.

MATT: My father too.

They're not supposed to be here.

Neither are we.

We'll meet tonight, by the big tree.

In the moonlight.

In moonlight.

It's a century till moonlight.

I'll never wash this hand again.

What the devil...

At your service.

Wait, you the famous El Gallo?

El Gallo.

Oh, yeah. See, we got your advertisement in the mail

and we got ourselves a little problem.

A love problem.

You two have a love problem?

And you seek sympathy from our little band of outcasts.

What would you two be willing to do in front of an audience?

No, wait a minute...

We are not talking about us.

We're talking about our kids.

Who happen to be a boy and a girl.

Less challenging. Follow me.

Although we are not yet fully prepared

the official opening of the entire carnival,

I think we can proceed with our business here.

One moment, I'll check my files.

I'm sorry, what did you say your names were?

Hucklebee. Bellomy.

I do beg your pardon, this is "N" through "Z."

Yes, there we are, "A" through "M." Oh!

How did you do that?

It wasn't easy it took months to set up these files.

Oh my...

(WHISPERING) Quiet. I'm beginning to get a picture.

You said you had a daughter?

Yes. I see a girl.

Is her name Luisa?

Is that your daughter's name.

Yes. That's her. Oh, look.

She is standing next to a young man who must be, who must be...

Quick, before the image fades.

Matt. That's it.

You're amazing.

They seem to be happy enough.

What about the feud?

Of course that's there, I said "seem."

Obviously your children are feeling a great deal of torment.

Uncanny.

And you've come to me for some kind of magic, eh?

You're in luck.

Ooh!

Frankly, we came to you to find out how to end this feud.

Many paths lead to the summit. Follow me.

You know, we kind of thought it'd be a good idea

if my mild-mannered son was turned into a rip-roaring hero.

Really? Well, yes, that would be

the first thought of a common rural mind.

And by an amazing coincidence, it's also mine.

Ah! Boy, are we lucky.

Of course to have a hero, you must first have a villain.

That makes sense. But who?

Let's think, the young lady knows both of you, so that wouldn't work.

What about you? Me?

Oh, I couldn't do it, for free.

But for a small donation to my favorite charity...

Yeah.

Yeah.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Would $60 be an insult?

Yes, but I'm used to abuse.

Oh, yes. I see it, I start to kidnap his daughter,

your son runs in to save her. Then a battle.

I allow the boy to defeat me, your son becomes a hero,

the parents relent, the feud is over forever.

She melts into his arms.

How much for such a drama?

That, senor, depends.

Depends on what? On what else.

The quality of the rape.

Rape? No! No rape!

Oh, very well then, the abduction.

The rape, the chase, the kidnapping.

Call it what you will, from the Latin rapere.

Meaning "to seize."

♪ Abductions, abductions, Theatrical abductions

♪ Complete with maidens in distress And fabulous productions

♪ The sort of thing you see Upon the operatic stage

♪ Two lovers are meeting Their happiness is fleeting

♪ All at once a bandit man Is standing there repeating!

♪ Surrender and so forth

♪ Give us the girl! And so forth

♪ In short they are surrounded by a gang of angry men

♪ I see it, I see it A gang of angry men

♪ Heaven I can assure you this is heaven

♪ For six, young love is out of seven

♪ This is a dream of ecstasy

♪ How can we deny them such a dream of ecstasy?

♪ Sounds a bit expensive I would like to know the fee

♪ The people are cheering, I'm standing center leering

♪ I wear a cape and steer a snare That's really quite endearing

♪ I enter and so forth I grab the girl and so forth

♪ I ravish her and start to carry her into the night

♪ The hero, he sees her, he grabs the girl and frees her

♪ He tries to tweak me by the nose

♪ Which certainly should please her

♪ We argue and so forth We draw our swords and so forth

♪ We shout "En garde!" And fight until I stagger and I die

♪ They're fighting, exciting, El Gallo starts to die

♪ The parents relenting, resolve the scene presenting

♪ A prefect picture of content With both of them consenting

♪ To marriage and so forth To end the feud and so forth

♪ They swear to tear the world apart And live in harmony

♪ The lovers are kissing The parents reminiscing

♪ The scene is one of utter bliss

♪ With not a cliche missing

♪ There's laughter and so forth

♪ A happy dance and so forth

♪ Then all at once A harpist and a piano start to play

♪ I hear it ♪ He hears it

♪ How beautifully they play

♪ Drama

♪ A stormy night

♪ What he's offering is drama

♪ A bloody fight

♪ In my life's faded cyclorama

♪ What a sight

♪ He tries to shed a little light

♪ It's so exciting when you shed a little light

♪ Really

♪ The lovers kiss

♪ I must admit that this is thrilling

♪ Oh, such happiness

♪ And it can happen if I'm willing

♪ How can it miss?

♪ Just make sure the price is right

♪ So why be pikers? Just make sure the price is right

♪ Why should we be pikers?

♪ Just make sure the price is right

♪ Abductions, abductions Theatrical abductions

♪ Complete with maidens in distress And fabulous productions

♪ With moonlight, and so forth A happy end and so forth

♪ And it all depends on one

♪ It all depends

♪ It all...

♪ Depends on what you pay

♪ Pay!

♪ Pay!

♪ Olay!

First class it is. Now, let's see.

What else should we use?

Do you want Jo-Jo the Chicken Lady?

I don't think so.

I know, the Bavarian baby.

I've got one who is very talented, he can swallow a sword.

If you throw in $4 extra he cleans up after himself.

What about that act?

Which?

"Shakespearian company, direct from London.

"Theatre Royal, Drury Lane."

No. No, you don't want that.

Now, instead...

I think Shakespeare is a great idea.

After all, my son thinks he is Romeo.

My daughter would be a perfect Juliet.

Really, gentlemen, I assure you it's not a good idea.

Now, for a first class abduction...

Let me see.

BELLOMY: But Shakespeare, that's real class.

I was in a Shakespeare play once.

HUCKLEBEE: Really? Uh-huh.

My daughter would like Shakespeare.

So would my son. Likes that I am the Pantomime whatever.

And with Shakespeare, it's sure to be done in good taste.

Sir, the players have arrived.

Thank you. But your services will not be necessary.

Now or ever. Back in the trunk.

These men are from London?

Straight from Theatre Royal, Drury Lane?

Absolutely, one long, straight ride.

Down.

Don't see us as we are. Gentlemen, please.

Remove ten pounds of road dust from these aged wrinkled cheeks.

See make-up caked in glowing powder pink.

Imagine a beard, full-blown and glowing like the whiskers of a bear.

Imagine hair in a box, I have all colors.

Please, I beg of you, imagine hair.

And not these clothes, dear God, no, no.

Not rags like every beggar has.

But see me in a doublet.

Mortimer, fetch the doublet.

Thank you.

EL GALLO: Gentlemen, if you insist on Shakespeare,

my advice is, don't over-rehearse.

Say a cue, you'll see, I'll know it. Go on, try me.

Friends, Romans, countrymen.

Is what?

Friends, Romans, countrymen.

No, no, no.

Don't tell me, I'll get it. You'll see.

Oh, yes, of course, of course. Why, that's easy.

Why didn't you pick a hard one?

Now, here, watch this.

Friends, Romans, countrymen.

Screw your courage

to that sticking place.

And be not sick.

And pale with reef.

For thou are handmaidens.

But far more fair than she.

Is.

How was that?

Do you think he can do it?

The chicken lady is cheaper and you get to keep the eggs.

I got faith in the bard, let's sign him on.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Henry Albertson.

BELLOMY: And who is that?

HENRY: That's Mortimer.

He has been with me all his life. He does death scenes.

Would you like to see one? He's an expert.

Mortimer, die for the gentlemen.

(CHOKING)

(GROANS)

And that's the short version.

The Indian is out of the question.

Besides, I think he is dead.

Oh. Too bad, 'cause they're a team. Inseparable.

So what could we use instead?

How about Siamese twins. Two for the price of one.

Nah, we're gonna stick with Shakespeare.

Yeah. It'll be a lifelong memory for the children.

Lifelong memory it is.

Still not sure about the Indian.

Gentlemen, we must hurry. We have an abduction to stage.

This very night.

Here, you two had better go home and rehearse your parts.

Parts? We're not actors.

This is too much to memorize.

Not actors, you say. Very well then.

We'll do the abridged version.

♪ Abductions, abductions Theatrical abductions

♪ Complete with maidens in distress And fabulous...

That's my part.

♪ With moonlight and so forth

♪ And happy ending and so forth

♪ And it all depends on

♪ What you

♪ Pay

That's my part.

Hello.

Hello.

I should have put on something warmer.

I didn't expect it to be so cold.

Feel my hand, it's trembling.

Oh. Oh, well, here. I don't need this.

No, you'll freeze.

No, no, really. Please.

I'm fine. I'm not cold at all.

You're gonna wear it?

Yeah. You just said you weren't cold, right?

Oh, I'm...

(THUNDERCLAP)

It's all right.

I'm scared, Matt.

I'll take care of you, Luisa.

I promise, I'll protect you.

I love you, Matt.

I want there to be a happy ending.

I promise that there will be.

(THUNDERCLAP)

Feel that? What?

My hand.

It's trembling too.

♪ Hear how the wind begins to whisper

♪ See how the leaves go streaming by

♪ Smell how the velvet rain is falling,

♪ Out where the fields are warm and dry

♪ Now is the time to run inside and stay

♪ Now is the time to find a hideaway

♪ Where we can stay

MATT: ♪ Soon it's gonna rain I can see it

♪ Soon it's gonna rain I can tell

♪ Soon it's gonna rain What are we gonna do?

♪ We'll find four limbs of a tree

♪ We'll build four walls and a floor

♪ We'll bind it over with leaves

♪ And duck inside to stay

♪ Then we'll let it rain

♪ We'll not feel it

♪ Then we'll let it rain

♪ Ran pell-mell

♪ And we'll not complain

♪ If it never stops at all

♪ We'll live and love

♪ Within our own four walls

How was it?

It was wonderful.

♪ We'll find four limbs of a tree

♪ We'll build four walls and a floor

♪ We'll bind it over with leaves

♪ And run inside to stay

♪ When it's gonna rain

♪ Come run inside to stay

♪ When it's gonna rain

♪ For soon it's gonna rain

♪ I can see it I can feel it

♪ Run inside

♪ And then we'll let it rain

♪ Then we'll let it rain

♪ We'll not feel it

♪ Then we'll let it rain

♪ Then we'll let it rain

♪ Rain pell-mell

♪ And we'll not complain

♪ Happy ending

♪ If it never stops at all...

♪ Then we'll let it rain

♪ Why complain We'll live and love

♪ Within our walls

♪ Happily we'll live and love No cares at all

♪ Happily we'll live and love

♪ Within our castle

♪ Walls

(SCREAMING)

That's it. Go get him, son.

En garde!

(LUISA SCREAMING)

Not bad for a boy.

(LUISA SCREAMING)

Matt!

Matt! Matt!

...For Harry, England, and St. George.

I'm unharmed.

Help!

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(YELLING)

(SCREAMING)

Oh, no.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Shakespeare stuff is great!

You there. In the black cape. Let her go.

What?

I said, let her go.

If that's what you want...

(SCREAMS)

Yee-haw!

Hold on, darling. I've got you.

And who do you think has you?

(LUISA SCREAMING)

He's gone.

He's gone!

Yes.

Luisa. Son!

Daughter? Hey.

Papa, he saved me.

Well, in that case...

Neighbor.

Friend.

I always knew there would be a happy ending.

(ALL VOCALIZING)

♪ Love! You are love!

♪ Better far than a metaphor can ever, ever be

♪ Love! You are love!

♪ My mystery of love!

♪ Love... Love... Love...

♪ Love...

♪ Love...

♪ Love...

♪ Love!

Luisa.

Ask your dad if you can stay up and watch the sunrise.

You ask him.

(BOTH WHISPERING)

(HUMMING)

LUISA: It's strange, isn't it?

Meeting close up without having to hide from our fathers.

Here I am.

In the flesh.

Those days are over.

Yes, I see.

Luisa, what's the matter.

I don't want it to be like this.

Like all the other people that we know sitting on a porch swing,

fumbling for a timid little kiss.

You like me better through a crack in the wall?

No!

But you have to be my hero.

I do?

Yes. You have to be.

You're right.

You're right.

That moon

is ours.

We own it.

I will not let it wane.

Stop moon.

Wane not.

I command thee.

Wax.

That's it. That's the man I love.

Come.

Come into my arms and here, take this,

this burning kiss to wear upon your lips.

What?

Did you gargle with something.

Yes, salt water.

Salt water.

It kills the germs.

This plum is too ripe.

Sorry.

Please don't watch me while I'm eating.

Sorry.

♪ Take away the golden moonbeam

♪ Take away the tinsel sky

♪ What at night seems oh so scenic

♪ May be cynic by and by

♪ Take away the painted sunset

♪ Take away the blue lagoon

♪ What at night seems oh so scenic

♪ May be cynic much too soon

♪ Take away the sense of drama

♪ Take away the puppet play

♪ What at night seems oh so scenic

♪ May be cynic by today

♪ Take away the secret meetings

♪ Take away the chance to fight

♪ What at night seems oh so scenic

♪ May be cynic in the light

ALL: ♪ So take it away and paint it up right!

♪ So take it away and decorate it!

♪ So take it away, that sun is too bright!

♪ I say that it really is a pity It used to be so pretty

♪ Take away the golden moonbeam

♪ Take away the tinted sunset LUISA: ♪ Take away the tinsel sky

♪ What at night seems oh so scenic

(OVERLAPPING) ♪ Take away the sense of drama

♪ May be cynic by and by

♪ Take away the secret meetings

♪ Take away the chance to fight

♪ May be cynic much too soon

♪ What at night seems oh so scenic

♪ May be cynic in the light

ALL: ♪ By today

♪ Much too soon

♪ By and by

This plum is too ripe!

ALL: ♪ Sorry

Tell you one thing,

staying up all night isn't what it's cracked up to be.

Well, it might've been if you hadn't

sat around yawning the whole time.

Sorry.

But I had an exhausting battle, remember?

And what about me? What did I have?

You're not the only ones who didn't get any sleep around here.

Damn swing creaking all night, and you two bickering.

Why don't you put some oil in that thing?

Why don't ya paint your house?

What? What'd he say?

It's an eyesore. Ruins the whole neighborhood.

Neighborhood? There ain't no neighborhood around here!

Slopping the pigs right in front of the house.

While we're at it, I just assumed everybody

didn't walk through my corn field singing.

What are you two fighting about? This is our argument.

What? What'd she say?

She said, "This is our argument!"

Well, knock it off, for crying out loud.

If we thought you were gonna act like this, we never would've...

I just think that maybe a "thank you" might have been in order.

Never would've what?

(EXHALES)

We never would've let you stay out all night!

Your father and I, we treat you like adults.

And you turn around and you act like a couple of spoilt kids.

Now, I want you two to kiss and make up.

This should be a beautiful moment.

An act of heroism took place last night.

Come on.

No expense was spared.

Bellomy.

Nice going, Bellomy.

Two hundred and fifty smackers down the drain.

This is just great.

MATT: Wait a minute.

You two paid for us?

All my heroics were make believe?

What would you call a man who would stoop

as low as to do something like this?

A father.

Matt, where are you going?

I got a score to settle.

Wait, I'm coming with you.

Luisa.

Luisa.

Matt, wait, I'm coming with you.

No refunds. Even with a receipt.

Somebody get me a sword.

(GROANS)

En garde!

Up a bit with the wrists.

A foot back more.

Never take your eyes from your opponent!

Quickly!

Aim for the entrails.

Good. Encore.

You have great enthusiasm,

but as in all things, experience counts for everything.

(GRUNTING)

It's impolite to attack a man

once he's in his space of shaving.

Oh, I forgot. You don't shave.

(GRUNTING)

I'm available for lessons.

Matt!

This isn't much fun when you're not being paid.

Matt?

You... You...

Villain.

Don't do that.

You'll hurt your hand.

Nice boy.

Wait.

What?

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

Then what were you thinking?

I wasn't thinking anything.

Yes you were. Well, what are you thinking now?

Well... Go on say it.

I just wanted to tell you, I think you were right.

Right?

Not to pick up the sword again.

Not to fight with him.

What I mean is...

Maybe you're not ready yet.

To be a hero.

No?

Well, maybe I can be the villain.

He seems to have all the good scenes.

With you anyway.

"You'll hurt your hand."

(SCOFFS) What a line.

I don't need you.

I don't need any of this.

I'm gonna go out into the big world

and make a pile of money and surround myself with beautiful women

who appreciate me.

See if I care.

(SOBBING)

♪ Beyond that road lies a shining world

♪ Beyond that road lies despair

♪ Beyond that road Lies a world that's gleaming

♪ People who are scheming

♪ Beauty!

EL GALLO: ♪ Hunger!

♪ Glory!

♪ Sorrow!

♪ Never a pain or care

♪ He's liable to find

♪ A couple of surprises there

♪ For, I can see it!

♪ Shining somewhere!

♪ Bright lights somewhere Invite me to come there

♪ And learn! And I'm ready!

♪ I can hear it!

♪ Sirens singing!

♪ Inside my ear I hear them all singing

♪ Come learn!

♪ Who knows, maybe All the visions I can see

♪ May be waiting just for me to say

♪ I can see it!

♪ Say

♪ Shining somewhere! ♪ Say!

♪ Take me there and make me a part of it!

♪ Make

♪ Make me see those shining sights inside of me!

♪ Make him feel it!

♪ Make me feel those lights inside

♪ I know it's so I know that it really may be!

♪ Just what I always waited for!

♪ This is what my life's created for!

♪ Let me learn!

Hello, big boy.

Welcome to the Casbah.

Getting kinda dizzy. That perfume!

It's Alexia de L'Amour.

Drink that.

What is it?

A little something from the Caliph.

Two parts rhino horn, one part mandrake, one part ginseng.

Absinthe and a little sprinkling of cojonas.

What's that?

Don't ask.

♪ I'd like to swim in a clear blue stream

♪ Where the water is icy cold

♪ Then go to town In a golden gown

♪ And have my fortune told

Just once. Just once before you're old.

It's my bandit.

Your bandit, yes.

What are you doing up there in that tree?

Growing ripe.

Don't grow too ripe or you'll fall.

Very wise.

What do you see from up there?

Everything.

Do you see Matt?

Do you care?

No, I just wondered.

Can I climb up there beside you?

You can if you can.

You know, there's always my way.

Put a ladder in the back.

Is it fun to be a bandit?

It has its moments, yes.

I think it must be fun.

So...

How do you do it?

Do you ride into town pretending to be a carnival

and then steal things when people aren't looking?

That's one way to go.

And what do you steal?

Whatever's most valuable. Whatever's treasured most.

That's more like it.

You see this ribbon?

That's where you gave me a bruise.

Take me with you.

Show me your world.

What is it that you want?

That's just it.

I don't know what I want.

I want things I've only heard about

or dreamed.

I want to see places I've never seen before.

I want to do things I've never ever done.

You and I.

Us. Together.

Yes.

Dancing forever and forever.

♪ Round and round, 'Neath a magic spell

♪ Velvet gown, pink lapel

♪ Life is a colorful carousel

♪ Reckless and terribly gay!

♪ I'm ready anytime

♪ If you'll take me, I'm ready to go!

♪ So show the way to me

♪ I will try to be

♪ Ready to go

♪ I seem to see Venice We're on a lagoon

♪ A gondolier's crooning a gondola tune

♪ The air makes your hair Billow blue in the moon!

♪ I could swoon!

♪ You're so blue in the moon! ♪

Oh, look. Carnival in Venice.

Something I've always wanted to see.

What's this? A mask.

But it doesn't have any expression.

Exactly.

As long as you wear this mask your feelings will never betray you.

No matter what happens, with the mask, you'll be able to laugh

and dance through it all.

That boy looks familiar.

Of course.

He's a country bumpkin, they all look the same.

And they all wind up the same way.

They're stealing his wallet.

Put on the mask, then it's amusing.

Oh, yes, I see, they're just having fun.

Bene! Bene!

(GRUNTS)

EL GALLO: Mustn't cover the necklace.

Luisa.

It's much too beautiful.

♪ We'll just dance!

♪ We'll kick up our heels to music and dance!

♪ Until my head reels with music

♪ Just like a lovely real romance Luisa!

♪ All we'll do is daily dance

♪ All we'll do is just dance

♪ All we'll do is just dance

♪ All we'll do is just... Luisa!

Really? I'm exhausted.

You can't be. The evening's just started.

♪ I seem to see Athens, it's terribly chic

♪ Atop the Acropolis, it's terribly Greek

♪ There's Venus, Adonis, and us Cheek to cheek

♪ Oh, how chic!

♪ To be Greek cheek to cheek! ♪

(COUGHS)

Oh, look.

A Greek temple.

And they're having some sort of contest.

Maybe it's the Olympics!

Yes! It's Greek wrestling.

Yes.

That boy... They're gonna kill him.

Now remember, if it is unpleasant.

Yes, of course, the mask.

Oh, I see, It's a game.

I just love classic sports.

You look lovely.

♪ We'll just dance!

♪ We'll kick up our heels to music and dance!

♪ Until my head reels with music

♪ Just like a lovely real romance Luisa!

♪ All we'll do is daily dance

♪ All we'll do is just dance

Luisa.

♪ All we'll do is just dance All we'll do is just... ♪

Phew!

Couldn't we just sit this one out?

Ridiculous. When there's music to be danced to?

Play, gypsies.

♪ We'll be in Benghazi or maybe Bombay

♪ I understand India is terribly gay

♪ The natives assemble on feast day and play

♪ With their snakes?

♪ What a racket it makes!

(HISSING)

I think I'm going to love India.

Such a big population, and I adore crowds.

Oh, look, there's a fakir.

Hi, fakir.

See, he's there with his assistants.

They all know Yogi and they're just all loads of fun.

(GROANING)

There's a young one.

They're putting him down on some nails.

If he fails, he'll be cut to bits by those nails.

(WHIMPERING)

I don't want to see this.

You're probably right, it may be someone you know.

LUISA: (LAUGHS) I see, he's just faking.

He's a fake fakir.

Fake.

(SCREAMING)

I hate fakes.

♪ We'll just dance!

♪ We'll kick up our heels to music and dance!

♪ Until my head reels with music

♪ Just like a lovely real romance

♪ All we'll do is daily dance

♪ I can see the friendly natives!

♪ All we'll do is just dance

♪ All we'll do is just All we'll do is just

♪ All we'll do is just All we'll do is just

♪ All we'll do

♪ is just

♪ dance

(THUNDER CRACKING)

I'm suddenly afraid.

Of what?

I don't know.

Something.

Maybe you should go home.

All my life I've waited for something magical to happen.

Now at last, with you, it will.

Or what if it's all just illusions?

Sleight of hand.

This for example.

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

The glamorous sideshows.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

It's all scenery.

Smoke

and mirrors.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Well, what do you think now?

I think you're wonderful.

But don't you understand it was only a trick?

And when you're dealing with tricks,

what you see isn't always what you get.

I'm warning you to be careful.

I know you are.

But I trust you.

I know that you'll make it all right.

Oh, very well then.

You better go pack some things so that we can run away together.

After all, you can't run away and stay at home at the same time.

Well, who cares if we never see this one goat town again.

We can drop by in five or six years

to see if your father is still alive.

What? The world

is waiting.

I wonder if Matt...

Matt?

Never mind.

All right, go.

Get ready.

See if you can borrow a little money while you're about it.

Kiss me first.

No matter what happens, I'll never, ever forget that kiss.

A unique sensation of an unworldly nature

running from the base of the spine to the knees.

(LAUGHS)

Wait.

Give me a trinket to pledge that you'll come back.

That necklace.

It was my mother's.

Good. It will service your pledge.

I will leave you my mother's necklace

because it is my favorite thing.

Guard it.

And I'll go pack.

I won't be long.

You're really taking me with you?

Would I lie?

I won't be long.

You will be here?

I promise.

All right, move it out.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

Ah, the prodigal son comes out from his trip around the world.

Allow me to say, you look much wiser but less well groomed.

Leave me alone.

Fine, I'm in a bit of a rush, anyway.

Where did you get that? Oh, this?

It's just a souvenir.

It's Luisa's.

You stole it.

Please, she gave it to me.

Not that it's any business of yours. Now, as I said.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

All right. Move it out.

El Gallo.

El Gallo!

El Gallo?

El Gallo!

(SOBBING)

EL GALLO: There is a curious paradox that no one can explain.

Who understands the secret of the reaping of the grain.

Who understands why spring is born out of winter's laboring pain.

Or why we all must die a bit before we grow again.

Matt.

What happened?

You look awful.

It isn't worth tears, Luisa, please.

Did you find the money and the beautiful women.

I can't remember, I...

I was drugged or hypnotized or something.

There was this funny light and mirrors.

I know.

And there was this music.

Strange music and people

turning and spinning and...

Wearing masks.

I remember crying out.

But no one came to help you.

I'm sorry, Matt.

No, I...

It's all right.

I deserved it.

I've been foolish.

I have, too.

Believe me, more than you.

♪ When the moon was young

♪ When the month was May

♪ When the stage was hung for my holiday

♪ I saw shining lights

♪ But I never knew

♪ They were you They were you

♪ They were you

♪ When the dance was done

♪ When I went my way

♪ When I tried to find rainbows far away

♪ All the lovely lights

♪ Seemed to fade from view

♪ They were you They were you

♪ They were you

BOTH: ♪ Without you near me

♪ I can't see

♪ When you're near me

♪ Wonderful things come to be

♪ Every secret prayer

♪ Every fancy free

♪ Everything I dared for both you and me

♪ All my wildest dreams

♪ Multiplied by two

♪ They were you

♪ They were you

♪ They were you

♪ They were you

♪ They were you

♪ They were you

I missed you, Matt.

I missed you, too.

Here, maybe I can stop your bleeding.

You already have.

You've been hurt too.

Look, it's beginning to snow.

I know. Here.

Take my coat.

Both.

There's room there for both.

♪ Love! You are love!

♪ You are love!

♪ Better far than a metaphor can ever, ever be

♪ Love! ♪ You are love!

♪ You are love!

♪ You are love!

♪ My mystery

♪ My mystery

♪ Of Love!

BELLOMY: Look, they've come back.

HUCKLEBEE: It's a miracle.

They're home.

Matt!

Luisa.

EL GALLO: ♪ Try to remember the kind of September

♪ When life was slow and oh, so mellow

♪ Try to remember the kind of September

♪ When grass was green and grain was yellow

♪ Try to remember the kind of September

♪ When you were a tender and callow fellow

♪ Try to remember, and if you remember

♪ Then follow

♪ Deep in December, it's nice to remember

♪ Although you know the snow will follow

♪ Deep in December, it's nice to remember

♪ Without a hurt the heart is hollow

♪ Deep in December, it's nice to remember

♪ The fire of September that made us mellow

♪ Deep in December, our hearts should remember

♪ And follow