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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:42,152 --> 00:00:44,656
You must be so excited
for your new tennis lesson, huh?
3
00:00:44,722 --> 00:00:46,090
Yeah.
4
00:00:46,658 --> 00:00:48,092
Who's my coach, Mom?
5
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,793
You'll see.
6
00:00:50,127 --> 00:00:51,161
Ready?
7
00:00:51,895 --> 00:00:53,197
Nice.
8
00:00:53,264 --> 00:00:54,932
Oh, that's nice.
9
00:00:55,266 --> 00:00:57,669
He does that on purpose,
I swear, right?
10
00:00:57,735 --> 00:00:59,870
He has to. Oh, yeah!
11
00:00:59,937 --> 00:01:01,272
You know, he's doing it for us.
12
00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:05,643
What's up, ladies.
13
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:07,111
Party's here.
14
00:01:07,177 --> 00:01:07,978
Alexis!
15
00:01:08,045 --> 00:01:09,813
- Yes!
- Bam, Alexis!
16
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,617
Wine purse,
she's got the wine purse.
17
00:01:17,522 --> 00:01:21,359
So as I was saying, I'm in downtown
LA in the Fabric District, okay.
18
00:01:21,426 --> 00:01:24,161
Hours in the sun,
I am sweating my balls off.
19
00:01:24,228 --> 00:01:28,733
This guy named Tony,
tall, handsome, green eyes..
20
00:01:28,799 --> 00:01:30,968
- Mm, sexy. I like that.
- Yes.
21
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:34,138
Follows me
into the dollar fabric store,
22
00:01:34,204 --> 00:01:37,409
compliments my legs,
and yada, yada, yada,
23
00:01:37,475 --> 00:01:39,644
I'm back at his loft downtown.
24
00:01:39,711 --> 00:01:41,245
- No!
- Oh!
25
00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:43,213
What if he was
a murderer or a rapist?
26
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,083
Sometimes you gotta just
trust your instincts, Alexis.
27
00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:48,886
Look around and find out,
am I right?
28
00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:53,591
So, she brings me
another double scotch,
29
00:01:53,658 --> 00:01:55,627
and I, like, pull out some cash.
30
00:01:55,693 --> 00:01:57,194
And she's like, "Oh, no,
31
00:01:57,261 --> 00:01:58,696
we're not allowed
to accept tips."
32
00:01:58,763 --> 00:02:00,398
And I'm like,
"Oh, baby, that's too bad
33
00:02:00,465 --> 00:02:03,435
because I got a tip
I really wanted you to see."
34
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,235
- Am I right? So she's laughing..
- Yeah.
35
00:02:05,302 --> 00:02:07,204
Because it's fucking funny,
right? And I'm like,
36
00:02:07,271 --> 00:02:10,240
"Okay, here's my fucking chance.
I mean, it's on my bucket list,
37
00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:12,577
I'm flying first class,
I gotta do it, right?"
38
00:02:12,644 --> 00:02:15,747
Marco, you get your ass
over here, you gotta hear this.
39
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:19,016
I'm telling him how I became
part of the Mile High Club Elite.
40
00:02:19,082 --> 00:02:22,186
Oh, geez!
Shit, I'm part of that club.
41
00:02:22,252 --> 00:02:24,789
Have you sucked
a girl's pussy at 35,000 feet?
42
00:02:24,855 --> 00:02:26,491
- What?
- I said, "Elite."
43
00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:31,429
Wait, how the hell did you go down
on a girl in a tiny-ass bathroom?
44
00:02:31,496 --> 00:02:33,063
Acrobatics, bro.
45
00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:35,132
Now, mind you. I have been out
46
00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:37,334
in the hot sun, sweating, okay?
47
00:02:37,402 --> 00:02:39,471
And now
I'm in this guy's bathroom
48
00:02:39,537 --> 00:02:43,040
looking for wipes or something
to refresh myself, okay?
49
00:02:43,106 --> 00:02:45,342
So, under his sink
he has some baby powder.
50
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,445
I sprinkle some
on my cooch, thinking,
51
00:02:47,512 --> 00:02:49,647
"He won't know,
no big deal, it's just sex."
52
00:02:49,714 --> 00:02:51,416
But then he decides
53
00:02:51,483 --> 00:02:53,618
to check out the landing strip.
54
00:02:53,685 --> 00:02:55,018
- Oh my God, stop!
- No!
55
00:02:55,085 --> 00:02:58,088
Oh, yes. And I am
lying there mortified,
56
00:02:58,155 --> 00:03:00,825
hands over my face thinking,
"I should stop him.
57
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:02,068
I should really stop this guy,
58
00:03:02,092 --> 00:03:03,561
holy fuck,
I should stop this guy."
59
00:03:03,628 --> 00:03:06,831
Then I'm like, "Oh, whatever."
And I let him do it.
60
00:03:08,031 --> 00:03:09,567
Oh my God, you're such a whore!
61
00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:11,168
- Thank you.
- I love it.
62
00:03:12,236 --> 00:03:14,238
She's got one leg
up on the counter.
63
00:03:14,304 --> 00:03:17,642
I'm holding the other one up and
I'm just going to town, all right.
64
00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:19,711
Now, this chick,
so fucking loud,
65
00:03:19,777 --> 00:03:22,714
the last row in coach
could hear her, okay.
66
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,558
And he thinks he's done,
comes up for air,
67
00:03:24,582 --> 00:03:26,222
and he has white powder
all over his face.
68
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,785
Except now it looks like
69
00:03:27,852 --> 00:03:30,522
- clumps of white dough.
- Oh!
70
00:03:30,588 --> 00:03:32,590
- And I'm real distracted.
- Oh!
71
00:03:32,657 --> 00:03:35,660
All I can think about
is baking a pie.
72
00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:37,595
Now, she's finally coming,
right?
73
00:03:37,662 --> 00:03:41,599
- She begins to squirt all over the place.
- Oh!
74
00:03:41,666 --> 00:03:45,670
- You got a squirter! Oh, you lucky fuck!
- Yeah! Yeah!
75
00:03:45,737 --> 00:03:47,938
She's hanging on the wall,
fucking Spider-Man.
76
00:03:48,005 --> 00:03:49,349
She's got a leg up
on the counter..
77
00:03:49,373 --> 00:03:50,908
I'm grabbing
fucking paper towels,
78
00:03:50,974 --> 00:03:52,175
shoving them under the door
79
00:03:52,242 --> 00:03:53,410
to keep the first class cabin
80
00:03:53,478 --> 00:03:54,812
from flooding, okay?
81
00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:56,848
Fuck the oxygen masks,
drop down scuba tanks!
82
00:03:58,015 --> 00:03:59,295
So I figured I'd
return the favor
83
00:03:59,349 --> 00:04:01,952
and head down south,
when I realize
84
00:04:02,019 --> 00:04:04,489
his balls are the size
of fucking martini onions.
85
00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:05,757
He's a Gibson?
86
00:04:05,823 --> 00:04:06,758
Wait, I thought that's a myth.
87
00:04:06,824 --> 00:04:08,459
Fricking unicorn, right?
88
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,093
Get this, he has two kids.
89
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,095
- How?
- I don't know.
90
00:04:12,930 --> 00:04:14,965
How about you and I
get a burger later, Tomas?
91
00:04:15,032 --> 00:04:17,200
Thank you, Natalie,
but I am vegan.
92
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:19,303
Fuck you, Tomas.
You're not vegan.
93
00:04:19,369 --> 00:04:21,438
The only reason you're
a yoga instructor
94
00:04:21,506 --> 00:04:22,674
is for the hot chicks.
95
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,543
Stop snooping, Estanley.
96
00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:27,545
What? 'Sup, Debby.
97
00:04:27,612 --> 00:04:28,713
Hey, baby.
98
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,147
Okay, back to Gibson guy.
99
00:04:30,213 --> 00:04:32,850
So, I mean, did you
even feel anything?
100
00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:34,819
You'll probably get
to fuck him again.
101
00:04:34,886 --> 00:04:37,689
Girl, hell no. There's more.
102
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:40,958
Tony dreamy, green-eyes Gibson
103
00:04:41,024 --> 00:04:43,994
asked me to put a finger
into his ass.
104
00:04:44,361 --> 00:04:46,363
That's just a shitty situation.
105
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,735
Ladies, focus. This is yoga.
106
00:04:50,802 --> 00:04:54,037
Bob, didn't you say you took your
girlfriend Gloria on that trip to Ireland?
107
00:04:54,104 --> 00:04:56,874
Yeah. But I bought her
a ticket in coach.
108
00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:02,012
This motherfucker.
109
00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:04,882
Oh, Marco, look.
Let's do the deal.
110
00:05:05,182 --> 00:05:06,951
- Let's do the deal. All right?
- All right.
111
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,754
Here's what we do.
We buy three properties.
112
00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:11,723
Grenada, Ventura, Simi.
113
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,991
All right? But here's the deal.
114
00:05:14,491 --> 00:05:15,491
Every time we meet,
115
00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:17,394
you gotta bring
this motherfucker!
116
00:05:17,461 --> 00:05:19,329
I never laughed
so much in my life.
117
00:05:19,396 --> 00:05:22,299
- This fucking guy.
- Bobby, coming in my pocket, all right?
118
00:05:22,366 --> 00:05:24,501
Hey, as long
as he doesn't cum in your mouth.
119
00:05:27,705 --> 00:05:29,172
♪ Stardust ♪
120
00:05:29,239 --> 00:05:31,876
♪ Gripping on the ocean floor ♪
121
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:35,045
Marco, baby, all I'm saying is
122
00:05:35,112 --> 00:05:36,581
put yourself in my shoes.
123
00:05:36,648 --> 00:05:38,783
You say you're gonna go
to Phil's to be at his office
124
00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,283
and do some paperwork stuff,
125
00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:42,386
which is why you can't make it
to tennis practice,
126
00:05:42,452 --> 00:05:45,122
and suddenly there's a post
on Tom's social media
127
00:05:45,188 --> 00:05:46,390
of the three of you golfing.
128
00:05:46,456 --> 00:05:48,993
Baby, I'm sorry,
I sent you a text
129
00:05:49,059 --> 00:05:51,094
that didn't go through.
You know how shitty
130
00:05:51,161 --> 00:05:52,997
the service is in Porter Ranch.
131
00:05:55,633 --> 00:05:56,968
See, wasn't sent.
132
00:05:57,401 --> 00:06:00,103
Oh, wait, oh, wait.
133
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:05,175
Okay. Okay.
134
00:06:06,109 --> 00:06:07,110
You're right.
135
00:06:07,645 --> 00:06:10,514
- Babe, I had to take it.
- I know you do.
136
00:06:11,415 --> 00:06:13,685
- Trust me.
- I trust you.
137
00:06:15,352 --> 00:06:17,254
- Oh!
- Oh! That's a party foul,
138
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,122
- you better hurry up.
- Mm-hmm.
139
00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:21,091
- Mm.
- Whoo! It's good.
140
00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:24,094
- Date night. Let's go. Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.
141
00:06:24,161 --> 00:06:26,496
- Date night. No kids tonight.
- Okay.
142
00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:27,497
Okay. Hell yeah,
143
00:06:27,564 --> 00:06:30,100
it's.. oh, oh.
144
00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:31,745
- Oh, here we go.
- The babysitter. Babysitter.
145
00:06:31,769 --> 00:06:33,103
- Babysitter time.
- Let's go.
146
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:35,673
- Go.. Babysitter.
- Let's do it. Let's do it.
147
00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:38,508
I made popcorn for you and Emma,
you can watch a movie,
148
00:06:38,575 --> 00:06:41,612
-but she needs to be in bed by eight, okay?
- Okay.
149
00:06:42,046 --> 00:06:43,380
Thank you.
150
00:06:45,182 --> 00:06:47,317
And don't invite any boys.
151
00:06:47,584 --> 00:06:48,686
Boys?
152
00:06:49,721 --> 00:06:52,189
You couldn't have found
a more awkward girl.
153
00:06:52,255 --> 00:06:56,159
What? Get a pretty sitter so you can stare
at her tits and ass and wanna fuck her?
154
00:06:56,226 --> 00:06:57,226
I ain't no fool.
155
00:07:06,603 --> 00:07:09,206
Yeah, a Gibson.
I feel so bad for her.
156
00:07:09,272 --> 00:07:10,808
I told her she has
to see him again.
157
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:12,677
I've known Debby for 20 years,
158
00:07:12,744 --> 00:07:15,178
and she's always dated
the strangest dudes.
159
00:07:15,245 --> 00:07:19,249
You and she
never really hooked up?
160
00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:22,586
She's like a sister.
161
00:07:24,287 --> 00:07:26,523
Speaking of the devil.
162
00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:29,226
No!
163
00:07:29,292 --> 00:07:32,063
- What's wrong?
- Greg and Julia are getting a divorce.
164
00:07:32,129 --> 00:07:34,564
Oh, damn. Are you serious?
165
00:07:34,631 --> 00:07:36,777
They didn't even lead on that
they were having any issues.
166
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:39,136
Babe, I'm sad.
I really liked them together.
167
00:07:39,202 --> 00:07:41,038
Well, I can tell you one thing.
168
00:07:41,105 --> 00:07:43,107
They are in for a wild ride.
169
00:07:43,573 --> 00:07:46,476
- Divorce fucking sucks.
- Oh my God, yes.
170
00:07:46,543 --> 00:07:49,212
The being angry at each other
while having to co-parent..
171
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:50,547
Oh, the mind game.
172
00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:53,084
- The hurt. The guilt..
- Avoiding friends,
173
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,753
- having to choose friends..
- Dating.
174
00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:58,155
Having to fill out
those dating apps again.
175
00:07:58,221 --> 00:07:59,933
I swear to God,
every box that you check off,
176
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,969
it feels like you're stripping
your bobos in front of lions.
177
00:08:01,993 --> 00:08:04,361
"What's your full name?"
There goes your top.
178
00:08:04,427 --> 00:08:06,073
"What's your hobbies?"
There goes your bra.
179
00:08:06,097 --> 00:08:07,464
"What kind of person
are you into?"
180
00:08:07,531 --> 00:08:08,976
There goes your chonees.
Before you know it,
181
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,534
you're naked
in front of the world.
182
00:08:11,068 --> 00:08:12,369
Remember those days, babe?
183
00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:14,504
No. I always wanted
to get on those apps,
184
00:08:14,571 --> 00:08:17,108
I thought it'd be fun,
but I never got the chance.
185
00:08:17,174 --> 00:08:18,341
- No?
- No.
186
00:08:18,408 --> 00:08:20,410
I was alone for four months.
187
00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:21,846
And then I met you.
188
00:08:22,345 --> 00:08:23,446
And that was it for me.
189
00:08:23,513 --> 00:08:25,016
- Four months?
- Mm-hmm.
190
00:08:25,082 --> 00:08:26,984
You can't go two days
without fucking.
191
00:08:27,852 --> 00:08:31,956
It was the weirdest thing. My ex-wife's
friends all reached out to me.
192
00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:33,290
- You're kidding.
- Nope.
193
00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:35,659
They were like, "Are you okay?
194
00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:37,370
Tell us if there's anything
we can do for you.
195
00:08:37,394 --> 00:08:39,864
Let's go out for 'coffee. '"
196
00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,165
Yada, yada, yada.
197
00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:42,800
Cochinadas ensued.
198
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:46,838
And you went along
with these cochinadas?
199
00:08:46,904 --> 00:08:48,973
You fucked your wife's friends?
200
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:53,710
My ex-wife.
You're my wife. And yes.
201
00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:59,016
Women are strange
about these things.
202
00:08:59,316 --> 00:09:01,118
Men don't do that.
It's bad karma.
203
00:09:01,185 --> 00:09:03,286
Of course men do that, okay?
204
00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:06,891
We're not even divorced, and I see some
of your friends giving me the look.
205
00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:09,492
- What look?
- You know, the,
206
00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,029
"I've been stuck
in the desert and I just saw
207
00:09:12,096 --> 00:09:14,165
a chilled beer" look.
208
00:09:14,564 --> 00:09:16,700
- Thirsty.
- They may look,
209
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,369
but my boys aren't gonna
reach out if you and I break up.
210
00:09:19,436 --> 00:09:21,705
You don't date your friend's ex.
211
00:09:22,073 --> 00:09:23,174
That's bro code, bro.
212
00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:26,978
Imagine if word got out
that we were separating.
213
00:09:27,611 --> 00:09:31,348
I wonder which one of my friends
would reach out to you first.
214
00:09:33,617 --> 00:09:38,588
- Have no clue.
- What if we pretended to get separated?
215
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:42,994
Divorce bait everyone,
see who hits you up first.
216
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,328
That is a terrible idea.
217
00:09:45,395 --> 00:09:48,232
Babe, you know how hard it is
to cover up a lie.
218
00:09:48,565 --> 00:09:51,601
I mean,
shit gets freaking crazy.
219
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:53,470
- And how do you know?
- My ex.
220
00:09:53,536 --> 00:09:55,772
She was so stressed
about the affair
221
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,775
that she was having
during our marriage,
222
00:09:59,442 --> 00:10:00,845
- she got a white pube.
- Ew.
223
00:10:00,912 --> 00:10:01,979
How the hell do you kno..
224
00:10:02,379 --> 00:10:04,748
You know what?
I don't even wanna know.
225
00:10:07,952 --> 00:10:10,054
Oh my God, babe. There's Greg.
226
00:10:10,387 --> 00:10:11,621
Don't look!
227
00:10:12,223 --> 00:10:14,825
Oh, he's so sad and lonely.
228
00:10:14,892 --> 00:10:17,895
- We should invite him to join us.
- No, Alexis!
229
00:10:18,262 --> 00:10:20,697
Just leave him alone,
it'll be awkward.
230
00:10:21,232 --> 00:10:22,532
Divorce is rough, babe.
231
00:10:22,599 --> 00:10:25,368
He's our friend.
We need to support him.
232
00:10:26,703 --> 00:10:29,840
Oh, hey, babe.
The whole town is here.
233
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:32,542
It's Tina, La Cochina.
234
00:10:32,944 --> 00:10:35,745
This motherfucker!
235
00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:38,581
- Oh, wow.
- The body's not even cold yet.
236
00:10:38,648 --> 00:10:40,417
Alexis, just leave it alone.
237
00:10:40,483 --> 00:10:42,195
- I'm gonna go over there.
- No, you're not.
238
00:10:42,219 --> 00:10:43,462
You're gonna sit down,
you're gonna enjoy
239
00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:44,788
this amazing salad.
240
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:49,927
-. Sexy.
- Thank you. I like your scent, too,
241
00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:51,328
- what is it?
- It's, uh, soap.
242
00:10:51,761 --> 00:10:53,797
Fuck that.
I want to see what's going on.
243
00:10:53,864 --> 00:10:55,266
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
244
00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:57,134
- No.
- He needs my support, okay?
245
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,569
Maybe he's okay. Maybe he's not.
246
00:10:59,636 --> 00:11:02,006
- You don't know.
- He's fine, babe, sit down.
247
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:03,440
Babe, sit..
248
00:11:05,276 --> 00:11:08,045
Hey, guys!
How's it going?
249
00:11:08,112 --> 00:11:10,347
- Hey, guys.
- Hey!
250
00:11:10,413 --> 00:11:12,183
Greg, how's Julia?
251
00:11:12,249 --> 00:11:14,051
I don't know if you've heard..
252
00:11:14,118 --> 00:11:15,987
Oh, I've heard.
253
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,289
Tina.. nice dress.
254
00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:20,390
Thanks. I got it
at this little boutique on..
255
00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:22,059
Where're your five kids?
256
00:11:22,126 --> 00:11:23,693
At their five babies' daddies?
257
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,163
I have three,
and they're at home with my mom.
258
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:28,165
- Oh. Yeah.
- She must be a saint.
259
00:11:28,698 --> 00:11:31,135
So what are we doing here?
260
00:11:31,202 --> 00:11:34,939
- Well, we'r.. hanging out.
- We're just hanging out.
261
00:11:35,006 --> 00:11:37,874
Oh, hanging out?
They're just hanging out.
262
00:11:37,942 --> 00:11:39,920
- Yeah, that's what they said, they're han..
- Just hanging out.
263
00:11:39,944 --> 00:11:43,047
- Hanging out.
- Okay, so that's what we do nowadays,
264
00:11:43,114 --> 00:11:44,447
we just hang out.
265
00:11:44,514 --> 00:11:46,183
Well, Tina,
you look very pretty.
266
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:47,851
Thank you.
267
00:11:49,486 --> 00:11:52,990
Hey, Greg,
Julia, is she all right?
268
00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,658
- Hell, man, are you all right?
- Yeah.
269
00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:58,262
We're getting through it,
but, um..
270
00:11:58,329 --> 00:11:59,529
It's hard.
271
00:11:59,997 --> 00:12:01,531
Is it hard?
272
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:04,168
- Okay. All right.
- Is it hard right now?
273
00:12:04,235 --> 00:12:06,303
Uh, Alexis, we're gonna..
274
00:12:06,370 --> 00:12:08,048
- Hey, guys, have a good evening.
- Thank you.
275
00:12:08,072 --> 00:12:10,407
We're just..
Yeah, we'll let you guys
276
00:12:10,473 --> 00:12:12,642
- keep hanging out. Okay.
- Let's go.
277
00:12:13,843 --> 00:12:16,180
- Okay.
- Wow.
278
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:21,285
Alexis, what the hell?
279
00:12:21,352 --> 00:12:24,554
You can't just go over to someone
and just boom, go right into them.
280
00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:26,489
They're hanging out? Okay,
281
00:12:26,556 --> 00:12:28,359
is that what we call
fucking these days?
282
00:12:28,425 --> 00:12:30,627
They're fucking.
They've got the look.
283
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:32,796
Alexis,
it's none of your business.
284
00:12:33,097 --> 00:12:35,498
They're adults, they can do
whatever the hell they want!
285
00:12:35,565 --> 00:12:38,035
Shit's not right. What the hell?
286
00:12:44,141 --> 00:12:45,276
What are you doing?
287
00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:47,544
- Well..
- Are you videotaping them?
288
00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:58,888
- Hi.
- Hi, guys.
289
00:12:58,955 --> 00:13:00,091
- Good morning.
- Hi.
290
00:13:00,157 --> 00:13:01,225
Morning.
291
00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:05,162
Will you still love me
when we're that old?
292
00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,930
Absolutely.
293
00:13:08,832 --> 00:13:11,135
Think we'll
still enjoy lovemaking?
294
00:13:11,734 --> 00:13:15,005
Hell yeah! Even when your boobs
are down to your knees,
295
00:13:15,072 --> 00:13:16,240
I'll still tap that.
296
00:13:16,307 --> 00:13:17,707
Tap that!
297
00:13:17,774 --> 00:13:19,609
- Okay. Oh, oh. Like that?
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
298
00:13:19,676 --> 00:13:20,953
- Like that? Okay, okay.
- Yeah. Yes.
299
00:13:20,977 --> 00:13:23,147
Babe, stop.
300
00:13:23,813 --> 00:13:25,915
- You're so romantic.
- I know.
301
00:13:26,783 --> 00:13:28,918
I'm sorry I was tripping, babe.
302
00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:31,554
It's okay. I get it.
303
00:13:32,022 --> 00:13:34,125
They're our friends,
and you care.
304
00:13:34,757 --> 00:13:38,995
- Yep.
- All right, last one to the coffee shop has to pay.
305
00:13:39,463 --> 00:13:41,465
Yeah! Come on.
306
00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:43,367
There's this, like,
seven-minute ab video
307
00:13:43,434 --> 00:13:46,203
-that I want us to do. It's incredible.
- You wanna keep working out?
308
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:48,838
- I kind of just wanna Netflix and chill.
- Yeah. I j..
309
00:13:48,905 --> 00:13:50,441
Oh, here we go.
310
00:13:52,409 --> 00:13:55,179
- Julia! I got you, girl.
- Oh, Alexis. Hey.
311
00:13:55,246 --> 00:13:57,481
- I got you, okay?
- What?
312
00:13:57,547 --> 00:14:00,050
- I heard.
- Oh. Uh-huh, yeah, I'm fine.
313
00:14:00,117 --> 00:14:02,186
- Okay. Hey..
- Hey, Julia.
314
00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:03,520
Hey, Marco. How's it going?
315
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,822
Before you hear
from anyone else, all right,
316
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:08,725
we saw Tina and Greg
at a restaurant.
317
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:11,495
- Oh.. yeah. Oh, no.
- He's such an asshole.
318
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:14,681
- Alexis, please, stop, stop, babe, stop, okay.
- I'm here if you need anything.
319
00:14:14,731 --> 00:14:15,965
- Okay.
- Julia, are you okay?
320
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:17,477
- Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.
- See, babe?
321
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:19,002
- Yeah. Yeah.
- She's okay. Let's go.
322
00:14:19,069 --> 00:14:22,005
Okay, good. Hey, if you need
anything at all, okay?
323
00:14:22,072 --> 00:14:23,782
- You call me, all right? You wanna have..
- Oh. Okay.
324
00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:25,041
A glass of wine, you call me.
325
00:14:25,109 --> 00:14:26,809
- Thank you. Thank you. Okay.
- All right?
326
00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:28,754
You wanna put a spell
on Greg's dick to shrink it?
327
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:30,680
- You call me, okay? I know a lady..
- Oh.
328
00:14:30,747 --> 00:14:32,525
-. Who will Vienna sausage that motherfucker.
- Oh.
329
00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:33,826
- Okay.
- -We're gonna get our coffee.
330
00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:35,419
- Thank you.
- Okay, Bye.
331
00:14:35,486 --> 00:14:37,221
What the hell was that?
332
00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:40,056
- I parked the car.
- Hey..
333
00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:42,659
- See, chivalry is not dead, baby.
- Bob, Bob, not now. Bob!
334
00:14:42,725 --> 00:14:44,161
- Bob, get down.
- Oh!
335
00:14:44,228 --> 00:14:46,363
- Bob? Bob!
- Marco!
336
00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:47,730
- What up, bro?
- Look, it's Bob.
337
00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:49,632
Hey, bitty-bitty Bob-Bob.
338
00:14:49,699 --> 00:14:51,535
Whoo!
339
00:14:51,601 --> 00:14:54,538
And Julia. Mm, what's up?
340
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:57,374
You know, we're
just hanging out.
341
00:14:57,441 --> 00:14:59,676
- Hanging out? I heard that one before.
- Yeah.
342
00:14:59,742 --> 00:15:00,920
- They're hanging out, babe.
- Yeah.
343
00:15:00,944 --> 00:15:02,546
- Yeah.
- Because that's
344
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:03,780
what we do nowadays, right?
345
00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:05,449
- We hang out, huh..
- Yeah.
346
00:15:05,516 --> 00:15:06,849
We don't call it
fucking anymore?
347
00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:09,018
- What? No. What?
- Okay. Yeah.
348
00:15:09,085 --> 00:15:14,558
Don't you just love how
everybody's hanging out these days?
349
00:15:14,624 --> 00:15:18,162
How about you guys? Are you
just kind of hanging out?
350
00:15:18,229 --> 00:15:19,963
He's my brother.
351
00:15:20,364 --> 00:15:22,065
We are hanging out.
352
00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:25,302
- Alexis, they're kids!
- All right, Alexis.
353
00:15:25,768 --> 00:15:27,171
What the heck is going on?
354
00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:29,573
Alexis,
it's not what it looks like.
355
00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:34,644
We're just.. helping each other
get through a rough patch.
356
00:15:34,711 --> 00:15:36,547
- Whatever. Okay.
- Yeah.
357
00:15:36,613 --> 00:15:38,114
- Marco?
- Whatever.
358
00:15:38,182 --> 00:15:40,817
I.. Hey, we're going home,
and we're gonna hang out.
359
00:15:40,883 --> 00:15:42,752
He means fucking.
360
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:47,258
If you're steps, it's okay.
361
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:51,828
Alexis, please stop.
362
00:15:51,894 --> 00:15:54,030
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
I don't wanna be running
363
00:15:54,097 --> 00:15:56,233
with hot coffee spilling
all over me.
364
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,868
Baby, what has gotten into you?
365
00:15:58,935 --> 00:16:02,172
It's none of our business.
These are adults.
366
00:16:02,239 --> 00:16:03,407
They are our friends.
367
00:16:03,474 --> 00:16:04,641
I don't know what's going on,
368
00:16:04,707 --> 00:16:06,343
but I can't trust these bitches.
369
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:09,613
They all wanna hang out. They
probably wanna hang out with you.
370
00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:10,880
- Of course.
- Mm-hmm.
371
00:16:10,947 --> 00:16:12,882
Because I'm
fucking irresistible.
372
00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:14,817
Okay. I.. I can't with you.
373
00:16:14,884 --> 00:16:17,020
Oh, come on, Alexis,
that was funny.
374
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,722
Alexis, come on!
375
00:16:21,791 --> 00:16:23,826
Baby, just let it go.
376
00:16:23,893 --> 00:16:26,397
You can't show up
to a parent-teacher conference
377
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:30,033
all pissed off about something
that we have no control over.
378
00:16:30,099 --> 00:16:32,969
I mean, you're liable to stab
the teacher with a pencil
379
00:16:33,036 --> 00:16:35,439
if she gives us
a bad report about Emma.
380
00:16:35,972 --> 00:16:38,542
All right?
Just relax. It's okay.
381
00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:40,335
Come on,
take a deep breath for me.
382
00:16:40,377 --> 00:16:42,479
Let's go, inhale.
383
00:16:42,812 --> 00:16:44,947
Blow it up.
384
00:16:48,252 --> 00:16:50,086
We're getting a divorce?
385
00:16:51,322 --> 00:16:52,423
What did you do?
386
00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:54,791
What did you do?
387
00:16:54,857 --> 00:16:56,660
I'm gonna test
these people, okay?
388
00:16:56,726 --> 00:16:58,595
I put on my Face page
389
00:16:58,662 --> 00:17:02,566
that we may or may not
be getting a divorce.
390
00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:04,668
What?
391
00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:09,473
Alexis, delete the post, please.
392
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:12,609
- This is ridiculous.
- I'm gonna leave it up for 24 hours.
393
00:17:12,676 --> 00:17:14,445
See which one
of our friends, okay,
394
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,179
is gonna reach out
to you to hang out!
395
00:17:16,246 --> 00:17:18,114
Twenty-four hours?
No, you're not,
396
00:17:18,181 --> 00:17:20,183
-you're gonna take it down now.
- No, I can't, okay?
397
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,319
I can't trust these hoes,
all right?
398
00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:23,829
As a matter of fact,
give me your phone.
399
00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:25,197
- Let me see who's..
- Just.. no!
400
00:17:25,221 --> 00:17:26,856
Baby, we're gonna get
in an accident.
401
00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:29,660
- How?
- You're acting crazy here.
402
00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,762
No, I'm gonna divorce bait
these bitches, okay?
403
00:17:32,829 --> 00:17:34,398
I am not losing another man
404
00:17:34,465 --> 00:17:37,133
to one of these
backstabbing hoes, all right?
405
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,270
Hey, relax, Cardi B.
You're not gonna lose me!
406
00:17:40,337 --> 00:17:42,639
I know, okay?
And I'm gonna make sure of that.
407
00:17:42,706 --> 00:17:44,006
Okay.
408
00:17:47,444 --> 00:17:49,245
Baby, wait for me.
409
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:51,547
Hi.
410
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:55,952
♪ Such a bad man ♪
411
00:17:56,018 --> 00:17:58,422
♪ Such a bad man ♪
412
00:17:58,489 --> 00:18:00,524
♪ So bad, so bad ♪
413
00:18:00,591 --> 00:18:02,058
Babe, give me your hand.
414
00:18:02,659 --> 00:18:04,595
♪ Such a bad man ♪
415
00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:06,262
♪ Such a bad man ♪
416
00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:10,767
- ♪ So bad, so bad ♪
- ♪ Such a bad man ♪
417
00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:14,036
Hello, Mrs. Laguna.
Hello, Mr. Laguna.
418
00:18:14,103 --> 00:18:16,540
- Hi, Miss Beach.
- Right this way.
419
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,244
First of all, I am sorry
420
00:18:21,311 --> 00:18:24,113
for what you both
are experiencing at home.
421
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:28,017
- Divorce is sticky.
- Thanks.
422
00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:30,621
Well, we're still trying
to work things out, Miss Beach.
423
00:18:30,687 --> 00:18:31,888
Call me Barbara.
424
00:18:35,626 --> 00:18:39,162
But I do have to say,
I was happy to hear the news.
425
00:18:39,228 --> 00:18:39,929
What?
426
00:18:39,996 --> 00:18:41,398
It definitely explains
427
00:18:41,465 --> 00:18:42,965
a lot of Emma's behavior.
428
00:18:43,032 --> 00:18:44,635
It's pretty classic textbook
429
00:18:44,701 --> 00:18:46,336
for families
going through a divorce,
430
00:18:46,403 --> 00:18:48,572
a second one for Emma,
in this case.
431
00:18:48,905 --> 00:18:52,108
The assignment was to write about
your favorite room in the house
432
00:18:52,175 --> 00:18:54,110
and give three reasons
why it's her favorite.
433
00:18:54,177 --> 00:18:56,447
"The dark chamber
we call the basement
434
00:18:56,513 --> 00:18:58,314
is my favorite room in our home.
435
00:18:58,382 --> 00:19:01,752
It's spooky, and strange sounds
are heard in the dark.
436
00:19:01,884 --> 00:19:03,520
It's awesome!"
437
00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:04,688
What the fuck?
438
00:19:04,755 --> 00:19:07,957
- Oh, sorry.
- No.
439
00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:09,593
In this other essay,
440
00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:12,796
she's asked to write about
a family member she admires.
441
00:19:12,862 --> 00:19:15,766
She wrote about her father,
Adam Sandler.
442
00:19:15,832 --> 00:19:16,966
The guy from Uncut Gems?
443
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:20,637
Uncut Gems.
444
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:22,205
Bedtime Stories, babe, remember?
445
00:19:22,271 --> 00:19:24,006
We watched it together
as a family.
446
00:19:24,073 --> 00:19:25,609
That was a good movie.
447
00:19:25,676 --> 00:19:27,578
Okay. Uh, Barbara..
448
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:28,712
It's Miss Beach.
449
00:19:29,312 --> 00:19:31,113
We'll talk to her.
How are her grades?
450
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,617
Other than that, Emma's doing
really well in class.
451
00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:35,586
Amazing, as I expected.
452
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,353
Okay, I think we're done here.
453
00:19:41,692 --> 00:19:45,228
Thank you
for being so understanding.
454
00:19:45,294 --> 00:19:46,530
You're welcome.
455
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:48,998
Bye-bye, Barbara.
456
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,667
Bye!
457
00:19:55,238 --> 00:19:57,841
So what the hell is up
with Emma's essays?
458
00:19:58,207 --> 00:20:02,144
- What's up with Miss Beach?
- Maybe you should focus on Emma.
459
00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,147
Might be a good distraction
460
00:20:05,214 --> 00:20:07,784
from this ridiculous
divorce baiting you've started.
461
00:20:07,851 --> 00:20:09,118
Did you not see them?
462
00:20:09,486 --> 00:20:11,588
I have to admit,
the parents were acting weird.
463
00:20:11,655 --> 00:20:12,656
- So what?
- I told you.
464
00:20:12,989 --> 00:20:15,559
You never know
who it's gonna be.
465
00:20:18,294 --> 00:20:21,264
Okay. What are you doing now
with my phone?
466
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:23,332
Michelle? Wow.
467
00:20:23,399 --> 00:20:25,902
I knew this bitch was always
liking your posts too much.
468
00:20:25,968 --> 00:20:27,704
That's a client's wife.
469
00:20:27,771 --> 00:20:29,338
Un-fucking-friend.
470
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,908
- Huh.
- If you're worried about me,
471
00:20:31,974 --> 00:20:33,276
just delete that post.
472
00:20:33,342 --> 00:20:35,344
I can't believe
I just posted this..
473
00:20:35,411 --> 00:20:37,155
- You know what? -. and
they're already commenting!
474
00:20:37,179 --> 00:20:40,082
- No, it's my Facebook, okay?
- Wow! Please.
475
00:20:40,517 --> 00:20:42,018
Is it..
Does it have your name on it?
476
00:20:42,084 --> 00:20:44,186
- Doesn't it say, "Marco Laguna"?
- Right.
477
00:20:44,253 --> 00:20:46,255
Does your Facebook say,
"Marco Laguna"?
478
00:20:46,322 --> 00:20:47,491
Wow!
479
00:20:48,925 --> 00:20:52,261
Huh!
480
00:20:54,063 --> 00:20:56,733
This motherfucker!
481
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,503
Okay, son of a bitch.
You want to play?
482
00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:00,671
Estanley!
483
00:21:02,506 --> 00:21:03,774
You piece of shit!
484
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,241
You reach out to my wife, huh?
485
00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:07,009
I thought
we were supposed to be boys.
486
00:21:07,076 --> 00:21:08,545
Come out, you asshole.
487
00:21:08,978 --> 00:21:11,782
What's with all
the commotion out here?
488
00:21:12,248 --> 00:21:15,752
How dare you ask
my wife to hang out?
489
00:21:15,819 --> 00:21:16,853
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
490
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,321
In my defense,
491
00:21:18,387 --> 00:21:21,792
A, she's not gonna be
your wife much longer,
492
00:21:22,124 --> 00:21:24,528
and B, frankly, it's your fault.
493
00:21:24,595 --> 00:21:26,128
How the fuck is it my fault?
494
00:21:26,195 --> 00:21:28,064
When you got
a beautiful hand model
495
00:21:28,130 --> 00:21:31,067
to lower her standards
when she married you, bro,
496
00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:33,670
you made me believe
that I had a chance.
497
00:21:33,937 --> 00:21:35,237
You see?
498
00:21:35,304 --> 00:21:37,507
No, wait, wait, wait.
499
00:21:38,809 --> 00:21:41,243
Okay.
500
00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:44,715
- You..
- You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch!
501
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,182
Get off of me! Get off of me!
502
00:21:46,248 --> 00:21:48,719
Ooh. Oh, wait.
503
00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,921
Bro, I know you're afraid.
504
00:21:51,354 --> 00:21:53,422
I know you're petrified.
You keep thinking
505
00:21:53,489 --> 00:21:56,158
how you'll never live
without her by your side.
506
00:21:56,225 --> 00:21:58,729
- Oh, look, killer bees.
- Eh! Eh!
507
00:22:00,664 --> 00:22:02,999
- You're going to spend so many nights..
- Yeah.
508
00:22:03,065 --> 00:22:05,201
Thinking how she did you wrong.
509
00:22:05,267 --> 00:22:07,136
- But you'll grow strong.
- Yeah.
510
00:22:07,203 --> 00:22:11,040
You'll learn how to get along.
511
00:22:11,107 --> 00:22:13,342
- Are you quoting Gloria Gaynor?
- I sure am, my love.
512
00:22:13,409 --> 00:22:16,379
- You like it? Oh!
- It's fake, you moron!
513
00:22:16,445 --> 00:22:18,815
All right! Okay, okay!
514
00:22:18,882 --> 00:22:21,217
Bro. I have chronic halitosis.
515
00:22:21,551 --> 00:22:24,520
- Truce? Right.
- Yeah, sure. Right.
516
00:22:25,021 --> 00:22:27,123
Truce.
517
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:28,792
What's fake?
518
00:22:28,859 --> 00:22:30,259
The post.
519
00:22:30,326 --> 00:22:32,128
It isn't real, you fool.
520
00:22:32,194 --> 00:22:34,430
Alexis is divorce baiting
everybody.
521
00:22:34,497 --> 00:22:35,398
Divorce whating?
522
00:22:35,464 --> 00:22:36,933
Divorce baiting.
523
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,802
She wants to find out
who she can trust,
524
00:22:38,869 --> 00:22:42,538
so she put the fake post up
that we're getting a divorce.
525
00:22:42,606 --> 00:22:44,841
- It's fake?
- Yes.
526
00:22:44,908 --> 00:22:47,911
What is wrong
with you fucking crazies?
527
00:22:47,978 --> 00:22:51,113
That's not right.
I was set up to fail.
528
00:22:51,180 --> 00:22:53,817
You're setting
everyone up to fail.
529
00:22:59,022 --> 00:23:01,792
You know what?
530
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,359
You two deserve each other.
531
00:23:03,794 --> 00:23:05,261
You are both fucked-up people.
532
00:23:05,729 --> 00:23:08,598
And I am disgusted
with the both of you.
533
00:23:13,569 --> 00:23:14,771
And get off my lawn!
534
00:23:14,838 --> 00:23:17,173
This isn't even your lawn!
535
00:23:19,408 --> 00:23:21,544
I feel so violated.
536
00:23:22,378 --> 00:23:25,114
- Am I like a victim now?
- She's crazy.
537
00:23:25,181 --> 00:23:27,149
That's what I get
for marrying a model.
538
00:23:27,216 --> 00:23:29,418
Models be crazy, man.
539
00:23:29,485 --> 00:23:31,955
It's all those salads
and Pilates and shit.
540
00:23:32,022 --> 00:23:33,322
Bitches need a burrito.
541
00:23:33,389 --> 00:23:35,826
You fuckers know
I can hear you, right?
542
00:23:37,694 --> 00:23:40,030
Alexis, you need
to take down the post, baby.
543
00:23:40,096 --> 00:23:41,330
People can get hurt.
544
00:23:41,397 --> 00:23:43,867
Look what we've done
to poor Estanley.
545
00:23:43,934 --> 00:23:45,902
Fuck no.
546
00:23:45,969 --> 00:23:47,103
Oh, I'll take that.
547
00:23:47,169 --> 00:23:48,504
- Hey, give me..
- Oh.
548
00:23:48,571 --> 00:23:50,073
- I got it.
- Tell me what it says.
549
00:23:50,139 --> 00:23:51,041
Tell me what it says!
550
00:23:51,107 --> 00:23:52,575
Alexis, these texts
551
00:23:52,642 --> 00:23:53,810
are all condolences.
552
00:23:53,877 --> 00:23:54,911
Tracey just reached out
553
00:23:54,978 --> 00:23:56,178
to say that she's heartbroken.
554
00:23:56,245 --> 00:23:57,781
Thank you, hermano.
555
00:23:58,447 --> 00:24:00,817
That's what I've
been trying to tell her.
556
00:24:01,484 --> 00:24:03,987
Tracey wants
to have your babies.
557
00:24:04,353 --> 00:24:06,022
Come on.
558
00:24:08,058 --> 00:24:10,927
- See.
- It's nothing.
559
00:24:11,327 --> 00:24:14,396
Ask her to go out tomorrow
and have coffee in the morning.
560
00:24:14,463 --> 00:24:17,433
Uh-uh. Because you're gonna
take it down tonight,
561
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,435
which would make that
unnecessary.
562
00:24:19,502 --> 00:24:21,881
I'm not taking anything down
until you go on that coffee date.
563
00:24:21,905 --> 00:24:25,241
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That
was not part of our agreement.
564
00:24:25,307 --> 00:24:27,543
Technically,
I agreed in the late afternoon,
565
00:24:27,610 --> 00:24:29,713
so I'm not breaking
any agreement.
566
00:24:30,179 --> 00:24:32,115
Go and have coffee
and you'll see.
567
00:24:32,181 --> 00:24:33,616
Then, I can kill her.
568
00:24:34,017 --> 00:24:36,152
Do you hear this? Fine.
569
00:24:36,218 --> 00:24:39,655
Just to prove you wrong,
I will meet her.
570
00:24:39,956 --> 00:24:42,658
Oh, it's done.
571
00:24:45,227 --> 00:24:46,797
- Fine.
- Fine.
572
00:24:46,863 --> 00:24:49,065
Fine!
573
00:24:49,132 --> 00:24:51,868
See? She's fine.
574
00:24:52,268 --> 00:24:53,937
She isn't fine.
575
00:24:54,004 --> 00:24:55,571
Do you know anything
about women?
576
00:24:55,638 --> 00:24:57,673
I know that they need burritos.
577
00:25:06,049 --> 00:25:08,785
I love my bi-weekly mani-pedis.
578
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:13,422
Well, tricks, I am off.
579
00:25:13,489 --> 00:25:16,827
Got my eyebrows waxed,
I got my Brazilian.
580
00:25:16,893 --> 00:25:19,195
And let me just say,
I am so bare down there,
581
00:25:19,261 --> 00:25:20,696
I am turning myself on.
582
00:25:20,764 --> 00:25:23,265
Drip, drip that WAP, bitch!
583
00:25:23,332 --> 00:25:24,801
Girl, you know it.
584
00:25:24,868 --> 00:25:26,368
What? No pedi today?
585
00:25:26,435 --> 00:25:28,972
- Oh!
- Uh, no. I've been banned from pedis
586
00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:31,540
ever since
I kicked Lila in the eye.
587
00:25:33,375 --> 00:25:35,644
Sorry. Here you go.
588
00:25:35,946 --> 00:25:36,813
Bye!
589
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:37,981
Bye.
590
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,916
What a cheap-ass bitch!
591
00:25:39,983 --> 00:25:42,451
- That's Debby.
- Yeah.
592
00:25:43,252 --> 00:25:44,386
So, Diva, when do you leave?
593
00:25:44,453 --> 00:25:45,822
In two days, baby.
594
00:25:45,889 --> 00:25:48,557
Damn, you've been working
nonstop, that's amazing.
595
00:25:48,624 --> 00:25:51,862
Right? Who knew my vitiligo
would be a plus?
596
00:25:51,928 --> 00:25:54,898
It's like they're hiring
two Divas for the price of one.
597
00:25:55,231 --> 00:25:56,766
Kanye and Kim.
598
00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:58,134
That's awesome.
599
00:25:58,734 --> 00:26:00,478
I think it's time for me
to get back to work.
600
00:26:00,502 --> 00:26:02,939
Honey, I told you,
you shouldn't have stopped.
601
00:26:03,006 --> 00:26:05,075
I know, but Emma's older now.
602
00:26:05,141 --> 00:26:06,275
I think I'm ready.
603
00:26:06,877 --> 00:26:09,745
Guess who's the photographer
for my next gig?
604
00:26:10,046 --> 00:26:12,082
- No!
- Yeah.
605
00:26:12,615 --> 00:26:15,151
I knew mentioning
Mr. The-one-that-got-away
606
00:26:15,218 --> 00:26:17,120
would put a smile on your face.
607
00:26:17,187 --> 00:26:18,822
Okay, tell Samuel I said, "Hi."
608
00:26:18,889 --> 00:26:21,191
- Come tell him, "Hi," yourself.
- No, I can't.
609
00:26:21,257 --> 00:26:23,860
Oh, too busy
pretending to be divorced?
610
00:26:24,227 --> 00:26:25,962
It's just an experiment, Diva.
611
00:26:26,029 --> 00:26:27,396
I mean,
I know this sounds crazy,
612
00:26:27,463 --> 00:26:29,331
but I need to know
who I can trust.
613
00:26:29,398 --> 00:26:31,500
Besides, it'll be over
in two hours.
614
00:26:31,567 --> 00:26:35,371
Mama, just like
no two hands are the same,
615
00:26:35,437 --> 00:26:37,140
no two mans are the same.
616
00:26:37,807 --> 00:26:39,943
Marco is not
your cheating ex-husband,
617
00:26:40,010 --> 00:26:42,544
and you could really screw
this up if you don't trust him.
618
00:26:46,082 --> 00:26:49,252
No, no, no, no!
That's our acidic foot peel.
619
00:26:52,388 --> 00:26:56,059
Kim! Kim!
620
00:26:58,962 --> 00:27:02,032
The manicurist burned his hands.
621
00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:04,767
- Second-degree burns.
- Oh, shit.
622
00:27:04,834 --> 00:27:07,070
Those bi-racial hands
are his bread and butter.
623
00:27:07,137 --> 00:27:09,839
- I know.
- That ought to set him back.
624
00:27:09,906 --> 00:27:11,975
Well, they'll just give the job
to someone else,
625
00:27:12,042 --> 00:27:13,977
but financially, he's set.
626
00:27:14,044 --> 00:27:15,284
He has insurance on those hands
627
00:27:15,311 --> 00:27:18,081
and the best doctors
working on them.
628
00:27:19,381 --> 00:27:21,383
You can insure your body parts?
629
00:27:21,684 --> 00:27:22,751
Yep.
630
00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:25,889
Should I insure my dick?
631
00:27:26,655 --> 00:27:29,625
Why would you insure your dick?
632
00:27:29,692 --> 00:27:33,163
I don't know. As crazy
as you've been acting recently,
633
00:27:33,229 --> 00:27:35,165
what if you Lorena Bobbitt me?
634
00:27:37,968 --> 00:27:41,204
Babe, I would never
chop your dick off.
635
00:27:41,271 --> 00:27:43,372
- Good.
- I'd kill you.
636
00:27:44,707 --> 00:27:45,708
Here we go.
637
00:27:46,276 --> 00:27:50,412
Go have fun
on your "coffee date."
638
00:27:51,047 --> 00:27:53,016
- Love you.
- Love you.
639
00:27:53,816 --> 00:27:55,218
Come on.
640
00:27:55,285 --> 00:27:56,428
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay.
- Like that?
641
00:27:56,452 --> 00:27:58,254
Okay. All right.
642
00:27:58,754 --> 00:28:01,224
Okay, are you
getting me ready for my date?
643
00:28:01,291 --> 00:28:02,658
Swirling my scent on you.
644
00:28:02,725 --> 00:28:05,128
What..
645
00:28:09,698 --> 00:28:11,901
I can't believe
you're making me do this.
646
00:28:18,774 --> 00:28:21,443
Hi, Marco. God, you look great!
647
00:28:21,510 --> 00:28:24,080
Coffee, biscotti,
what else do you want?
648
00:28:24,147 --> 00:28:25,614
Yeah.
649
00:28:27,117 --> 00:28:31,154
Well, first of all, I just want to say
thank you for reaching out, Tracey.
650
00:28:31,221 --> 00:28:34,623
It's, um, good to know that we
have friends that we can count on.
651
00:28:34,690 --> 00:28:37,160
Oh, yeah, of course. Absolutely.
652
00:28:37,526 --> 00:28:38,526
So what happened?
653
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,663
You know, basic couple shit.
654
00:28:41,730 --> 00:28:43,899
You know, I left
the cap off the toothpaste,
655
00:28:43,967 --> 00:28:46,369
she left her, um,
hair in the drain.
656
00:28:46,435 --> 00:28:49,505
Oh, come on.
You can be honest with me.
657
00:28:49,571 --> 00:28:50,940
Was she a horrible housewife?
658
00:28:51,307 --> 00:28:53,309
The house was always a mess.
659
00:28:53,376 --> 00:28:54,944
- Jerk.
- I knew it.
660
00:28:55,011 --> 00:28:56,512
I just won a bet.
661
00:28:56,578 --> 00:28:58,257
- These bitches.
- -I knew it'd be an issue.
662
00:28:58,281 --> 00:29:00,159
- You're old school. You wanna come home..
- Mm. Mm.
663
00:29:00,183 --> 00:29:03,552
To a clean house
and a home-cooked meal.
664
00:29:03,619 --> 00:29:06,056
- Yeah. Yeah.
- What else?
665
00:29:06,122 --> 00:29:08,391
- She could be quite controlling, you know.
- -Oh.
666
00:29:08,457 --> 00:29:11,027
Everything had to be
right in the calendar.
667
00:29:11,094 --> 00:29:13,929
- Even sex?
- Oh, yeah.
668
00:29:13,997 --> 00:29:15,431
Oops. Oh my goodness,
669
00:29:15,497 --> 00:29:17,400
I'm so clumsy.
I'm always dropping some..
670
00:29:17,466 --> 00:29:18,767
Oh, good one, Tracey,
671
00:29:18,834 --> 00:29:20,702
the old,
"I just dropped my napkin."
672
00:29:20,769 --> 00:29:22,805
Don't fall for it, Marco.
Don't fall for it.
673
00:29:22,871 --> 00:29:24,040
Yeah. Oh.
674
00:29:24,107 --> 00:29:25,674
- I'm sorry.
- Oh! Oh!
675
00:29:25,741 --> 00:29:27,443
There you go.
676
00:29:27,509 --> 00:29:29,912
Thank you.
677
00:29:33,949 --> 00:29:36,518
Hi, hon. How are you?
How's your hand?
678
00:29:36,585 --> 00:29:38,254
Not good, baby girl.
679
00:29:38,321 --> 00:29:41,191
I need you to do me a favor.
I need someone to cover me
680
00:29:41,257 --> 00:29:42,624
for my shoot tomorrow.
681
00:29:43,159 --> 00:29:47,063
It's all taken care of.
You just have to say, "Yes."
682
00:29:47,130 --> 00:29:48,964
Yes! Oh my God, yes!
683
00:29:49,032 --> 00:29:51,410
- I'll see if I can step up to wish
you luck. - But hey, uh, I'm in..
684
00:29:51,434 --> 00:29:53,845
I'm kind of in the middle of something,
all right? C.. can I call you back
685
00:29:53,869 --> 00:29:55,537
or you just send me
the details, please?
686
00:29:55,604 --> 00:29:57,606
Sure thing, sugar.
I'll put you in contact
687
00:29:57,673 --> 00:29:59,808
- with Samuel's assistant.
- Okay, thank you!
688
00:29:59,875 --> 00:30:02,145
Congrats, baby. Love you!
689
00:30:02,212 --> 00:30:03,279
Love you.
690
00:30:03,346 --> 00:30:06,715
Oh. Ooh, this is hard.
691
00:30:06,782 --> 00:30:09,419
Do you like it hard?
692
00:30:09,485 --> 00:30:11,687
Absolutely. When you dip it in,
693
00:30:11,753 --> 00:30:15,058
- it becomes moist.
- What the fuck!
694
00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:16,959
Oh, hell no.
695
00:30:21,797 --> 00:30:23,466
- Mm, that is good.
- Mm.
696
00:30:23,765 --> 00:30:26,869
- I guess a hard biscotti is not the way to go.
- Mm.
697
00:30:27,370 --> 00:30:29,771
Anyway, Tracey, what about you?
698
00:30:29,838 --> 00:30:33,409
I mean, it's been three years
since the divorce?
699
00:30:33,476 --> 00:30:34,786
- Mm-hmm.
- How's the dating scene?
700
00:30:34,810 --> 00:30:38,714
It's pretty bleak,
if I'm honest.
701
00:30:38,780 --> 00:30:43,286
You know? It's hard
to find a man, a good man,
702
00:30:43,353 --> 00:30:44,463
especially when you have kids.
703
00:30:44,487 --> 00:30:45,521
- Yeah.
- Hey.
704
00:30:45,587 --> 00:30:46,755
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh!
705
00:30:46,822 --> 00:30:48,491
- Oh, sh..
- Oh, I got it.
706
00:30:48,557 --> 00:30:50,493
I got it.
707
00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:53,205
- I got it. Yeah, right there, it's coming out.
- It's gonna come out? All right.
708
00:30:53,229 --> 00:30:55,507
- Yeah? O.. okay, I've got it.
- It's coming out, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
709
00:30:55,531 --> 00:30:57,409
- You've got to dab it.
- Okay, I'v.. I've got it.
710
00:30:57,433 --> 00:30:59,478
- Good, good. All right, okay, I've got it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
711
00:30:59,502 --> 00:31:01,837
- Yeah, that's good. No, no, n.. Oh!
- Yeah, I.. I've g..
712
00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:03,605
- That's good! That's good.
- Oh!
713
00:31:03,672 --> 00:31:05,251
- Ye.. Oh.
- Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I totally went
714
00:31:05,275 --> 00:31:07,443
- autopilot Mommy on your ass.
- No, that's all right.
715
00:31:07,510 --> 00:31:09,179
- I've gotta go anyway.
- I'm so sorry.
716
00:31:16,919 --> 00:31:18,020
Okay.
717
00:31:20,223 --> 00:31:23,359
That was.. that was weird.
718
00:31:23,426 --> 00:31:25,495
I can't keep a clean house?
719
00:31:25,561 --> 00:31:26,562
You were listening to me?
720
00:31:26,628 --> 00:31:28,030
Check your pockets.
721
00:31:29,332 --> 00:31:30,433
You don't trust me!
722
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,402
No, it was Tracy
I couldn't trust.
723
00:31:32,468 --> 00:31:34,204
Apparently,
I can't trust you either.
724
00:31:34,270 --> 00:31:36,239
I was making shit up, Alexis.
725
00:31:36,306 --> 00:31:37,546
I just told you the other night
726
00:31:37,606 --> 00:31:39,074
how hard it is
to keep up with a lie.
727
00:31:39,142 --> 00:31:41,444
Why the hell was she trying
to grab your dick?
728
00:31:41,511 --> 00:31:42,711
Oh my God.
729
00:31:42,778 --> 00:31:45,381
I.. I dropped
my biscotti on my lap.
730
00:31:45,448 --> 00:31:47,616
She went right into Mommy mode
to try to clean it up.
731
00:31:47,683 --> 00:31:50,553
- Okay. Why didn't you shut her down?
- I did shut it down!
732
00:31:50,619 --> 00:31:54,224
Jesus Christ!
Man, why are you so insecure?
733
00:31:54,290 --> 00:31:55,757
Don't call me insecure!
734
00:31:55,824 --> 00:31:58,060
You said you loved my calendars.
735
00:31:58,127 --> 00:31:59,661
I've had enough of this.
736
00:31:59,728 --> 00:32:02,030
Oh, so you've had
enough of me? Okay.
737
00:32:03,031 --> 00:32:05,335
I didn't say you, I said this!
738
00:32:25,555 --> 00:32:27,156
You made one cup of coffee?
739
00:32:29,592 --> 00:32:30,859
That's mature.
740
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:41,036
So you're seeing
your ex-boyfriend today?
741
00:32:43,239 --> 00:32:44,240
Don't be insecure.
742
00:32:44,307 --> 00:32:45,441
Oh, I'm not.
743
00:32:45,508 --> 00:32:47,310
I just think you're a hypocrite.
744
00:32:47,377 --> 00:32:49,778
Oh, we're name-calling now?
745
00:32:49,845 --> 00:32:52,948
It's for a job.
I was gonna tell you yesterday,
746
00:32:53,015 --> 00:32:55,117
but you were too busy
on your date.
747
00:32:55,184 --> 00:32:56,319
Oh, my..
748
00:32:57,553 --> 00:32:58,987
That wasn't a date.
749
00:32:59,289 --> 00:33:00,856
You made me go.
750
00:33:01,257 --> 00:33:02,724
This is nuts!
751
00:33:03,526 --> 00:33:05,727
Look, during your date,
752
00:33:05,794 --> 00:33:07,630
Diva asked me
to step in for him.
753
00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:10,999
I haven't worked in years, and I
didn't think it was such a big deal
754
00:33:11,066 --> 00:33:12,734
that Samuel would be there.
755
00:33:12,801 --> 00:33:16,071
Oh, sure you didn't,
but that's okay.
756
00:33:16,138 --> 00:33:17,873
Go ahead. Do it.
757
00:33:17,939 --> 00:33:20,276
Unlike you, I trust you.
758
00:33:20,343 --> 00:33:21,743
But this guy?
759
00:33:21,810 --> 00:33:26,148
Oh, this guy! He still
has feelings for you. Hmm!
760
00:33:26,215 --> 00:33:29,285
Oh, I've seen all the likes
he's given on your social media.
761
00:33:29,352 --> 00:33:33,155
"Oh, you're looking great."
"Oh, married life suits you."
762
00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:37,226
You're trolling him? I haven't even
talked to him or seen him in years.
763
00:33:37,293 --> 00:33:38,927
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
764
00:33:39,429 --> 00:33:42,197
By the way, I'm going out tonight,
you don't need to wait up.
765
00:33:42,265 --> 00:33:45,268
Hey, go have dinner with him.
Whatever.
766
00:33:45,335 --> 00:33:47,370
I fucking trust you.
767
00:33:49,238 --> 00:33:51,274
♪ I'm flying ♪
768
00:33:51,341 --> 00:33:53,509
♪ I'm high ♪
769
00:33:53,576 --> 00:33:55,678
♪ On life ♪
770
00:33:55,744 --> 00:33:57,513
♪ Don't care ♪
771
00:33:57,979 --> 00:34:00,215
♪ Don't need you ♪
772
00:34:00,283 --> 00:34:02,585
♪ No strides ♪
773
00:34:02,652 --> 00:34:04,687
♪ I'm flying ♪
774
00:34:04,753 --> 00:34:06,922
♪ I'm high ♪
775
00:34:06,988 --> 00:34:09,292
♪ On life ♪
776
00:34:09,359 --> 00:34:11,126
♪ Don't care ♪
777
00:34:11,561 --> 00:34:16,265
♪ I need you in my life ♪
778
00:34:16,332 --> 00:34:18,368
♪ But I hate you ♪
779
00:34:18,434 --> 00:34:20,503
♪ Yet I love you ♪
780
00:34:20,570 --> 00:34:22,572
♪ But I hate you ♪
781
00:34:22,638 --> 00:34:24,540
♪ Yet I love you ♪
782
00:34:25,207 --> 00:34:29,211
♪ Sometimes I'm scratching
like I have an itch ♪
783
00:34:29,278 --> 00:34:31,280
♪ And sometimes I'm faking ♪
784
00:34:31,347 --> 00:34:33,882
♪ Like I don't care ♪
785
00:34:33,949 --> 00:34:35,351
♪ But I do ♪
786
00:34:38,019 --> 00:34:41,290
♪ Don't you dare
even pretend.. ♪
787
00:34:41,357 --> 00:34:42,658
Marco!
788
00:34:42,725 --> 00:34:44,159
What the..
789
00:34:48,431 --> 00:34:50,031
Hey, Miss Beach.
790
00:34:50,098 --> 00:34:53,835
Hi, Marco.
And please, call me Barbie.
791
00:34:53,902 --> 00:34:55,647
I didn't know you lived
in this neighborhood.
792
00:34:55,671 --> 00:34:57,407
Actually, I don't, I..
793
00:34:57,806 --> 00:34:59,342
Ran a little further
than I usually do.
794
00:34:59,409 --> 00:35:01,877
Just trying
to let off some steam.
795
00:35:01,943 --> 00:35:04,580
I understand, I bet
the divorce is taking a toll.
796
00:35:04,647 --> 00:35:07,483
Yeah, right. The divorce.
797
00:35:07,816 --> 00:35:11,253
I like to release sexual tension
by planting cacti.
798
00:35:12,187 --> 00:35:13,922
That's an interesting cactus.
799
00:35:13,989 --> 00:35:16,659
Hey, are you busy this evening?
800
00:35:17,025 --> 00:35:18,361
Actually, I'm not.
801
00:35:18,728 --> 00:35:20,162
Have you heard
of The Pool Party?
802
00:35:20,228 --> 00:35:23,131
- I went to one last week.
- I mean, The Pool Party.
803
00:35:23,198 --> 00:35:25,967
Sure.
Are the kids gonna be there?
804
00:35:26,034 --> 00:35:29,639
My godd..
Oh, you're so funny.
805
00:35:29,971 --> 00:35:32,874
- Oh, wouldn't that be awful?
- Oh, yeah.
806
00:35:32,941 --> 00:35:36,812
Ugh. Kids, the darn kids
you spent so much time with.
807
00:35:36,878 --> 00:35:38,847
So I'll pick you up later?
808
00:35:38,914 --> 00:35:41,417
Uh, let's just meet there.
809
00:35:41,484 --> 00:35:45,521
And, um, should I wear my bathing
suit or can I change there?
810
00:35:45,588 --> 00:35:47,423
Bathing suit!
811
00:35:47,490 --> 00:35:49,291
You're so hilarious!
812
00:35:53,529 --> 00:35:55,330
Okay, uh, bye, Miss Beach.
813
00:35:55,398 --> 00:35:57,533
I'll text you the address.
814
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,837
Imagine being pampered
like this all the time.
815
00:36:01,903 --> 00:36:04,339
Oh my God,
I missed this for sure.
816
00:36:04,707 --> 00:36:07,142
I'm happy to hear it. But..
817
00:36:08,143 --> 00:36:09,512
Are you ready to see Samuel?
818
00:36:09,579 --> 00:36:12,848
What? Okay, there is
nothing there, I promise.
819
00:36:12,914 --> 00:36:15,851
Honey, you and him had
some crazy chemistry.
820
00:36:15,917 --> 00:36:17,420
And that's dangerous.
821
00:36:17,487 --> 00:36:20,656
Okay, Samuel and I were hot
for each other, but toxic.
822
00:36:20,723 --> 00:36:22,243
We were always
at each other's throats.
823
00:36:22,525 --> 00:36:24,627
And the only reason
we lasted that long
824
00:36:24,694 --> 00:36:26,194
was because of the make-up sex.
825
00:36:26,261 --> 00:36:28,631
Well, just make sure
those embers are gone.
826
00:36:28,698 --> 00:36:33,168
We want you going back to work,
not back to being single.
827
00:36:35,370 --> 00:36:37,740
They're ready for you,
try not to fuck this up.
828
00:36:41,477 --> 00:36:43,679
What the.. okay.
829
00:36:44,279 --> 00:36:46,549
Don't worry about her.
She's pissed
830
00:36:46,616 --> 00:36:48,417
because she wanted this job.
831
00:36:48,950 --> 00:36:50,419
You watch your back around her.
832
00:36:51,086 --> 00:36:55,090
Oh, I'm so nervous, I didn't even get
a chance to eat today, I'm starving.
833
00:36:55,156 --> 00:36:57,793
Well, grab a snack
and knock them dead.
834
00:36:57,860 --> 00:36:59,170
I'll see you
on the flip side, baby.
835
00:36:59,194 --> 00:37:01,731
I've got an appointment
for some TLC
836
00:37:01,797 --> 00:37:03,965
with Kim and Kanye.
837
00:37:04,032 --> 00:37:07,335
Okay.
Thank you so much.
838
00:37:08,403 --> 00:37:09,438
Feel better.
839
00:37:11,607 --> 00:37:13,975
Hell yeah, we're back, bitches.
840
00:37:14,910 --> 00:37:17,345
Ooh. Hell yeah.
841
00:37:17,647 --> 00:37:18,980
Love crafty table.
842
00:37:19,448 --> 00:37:22,017
Hi, I missed you!
843
00:37:22,317 --> 00:37:24,587
Oh, fuck yeah. Come here.
844
00:37:26,254 --> 00:37:30,425
Oh, that's.. never mind, enjoy.
845
00:37:31,993 --> 00:37:34,996
I hate her,
with her big titties.
846
00:37:38,568 --> 00:37:39,735
Mm!
847
00:37:42,505 --> 00:37:43,573
Mm!
848
00:37:48,578 --> 00:37:49,745
Oh, fuck!
849
00:37:51,246 --> 00:37:52,380
Fuck!
850
00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:11,534
- Allie? Allie, Allie, Allie, Allie!
- Samuel!
851
00:38:11,601 --> 00:38:13,468
- Hey.
- Oh my God!
852
00:38:14,069 --> 00:38:16,237
- How are you?
- How are you? Come here.
853
00:38:16,304 --> 00:38:17,840
- You look so beautiful.
- Oh, okay.
854
00:38:17,907 --> 00:38:18,908
- Oh, okay.
- No, again!
855
00:38:18,974 --> 00:38:20,241
Okay, Samuel, great.
856
00:38:20,308 --> 00:38:22,177
You can't kiss me
on the mouth anymore.
857
00:38:22,243 --> 00:38:25,046
- I'm a married woman.
- Oh, that is a nice rock.
858
00:38:26,414 --> 00:38:28,016
- So, you're ready to go? Okay.
- Yep.
859
00:38:28,083 --> 00:38:30,485
- Mm-hmm. Let's go. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
860
00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:33,789
What? Still feisty.
861
00:38:33,856 --> 00:38:36,959
- Oh, you know me. Always.
- She's so feisty. I like it.
862
00:38:37,025 --> 00:38:39,094
- Yeah. Mm.
- No. I.. I missed that.
863
00:38:39,461 --> 00:38:41,472
Actually, I haven't missed much.
I've been keeping up with you
864
00:38:41,496 --> 00:38:43,098
- on social media. Yeah!
- Really?
865
00:38:43,164 --> 00:38:45,166
Because I don't know
anything about you.
866
00:38:45,233 --> 00:38:47,002
Other than you're
still not married.
867
00:38:47,068 --> 00:38:48,436
Oh, burn.
868
00:38:48,838 --> 00:38:51,874
Well, honey,
you've ruined me for all women.
869
00:38:51,941 --> 00:38:55,143
That's because I'm like a dog
on a fire hydrant, just..
870
00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:58,814
Just pissing all over you.
871
00:38:59,414 --> 00:39:01,550
Thank you
for the image. Thank you.
872
00:39:01,617 --> 00:39:03,385
- Okay, let's get started. Yeah?
- Yeah.
873
00:39:03,451 --> 00:39:04,696
Jasmine is gonna
be helping us out.
874
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:06,656
Oh, I think she's helped enough.
875
00:39:07,556 --> 00:39:09,257
- Okay. Alexis, take a seat.
- Yeah.
876
00:39:09,324 --> 00:39:10,626
Uh, Jasmine, will you place
877
00:39:10,693 --> 00:39:12,460
a few of those gummies
in her palm for me?
878
00:39:12,527 --> 00:39:15,731
Okay, Alexis, open up.
Place them right there.
879
00:39:15,798 --> 00:39:17,298
Beautiful. Beau..
880
00:39:17,365 --> 00:39:19,802
- Oh! Bouncy little fuckers.
- Okay, Jasmin..
881
00:39:19,869 --> 00:39:21,847
- What happened?
- Jasmine, the whol.. the whole point,
882
00:39:21,871 --> 00:39:23,314
Jasmine,
is to place them in her palm,
883
00:39:23,338 --> 00:39:25,540
make sure they stay, okay?
Let's try that.
884
00:39:25,608 --> 00:39:28,176
Okay, let's do it again.
Let's go. Okay.
885
00:39:28,243 --> 00:39:30,311
- There you go. All right, here we go.
- Mm-hmm.
886
00:39:30,378 --> 00:39:33,181
- Um.
- Give me hot. Roll the tips.
887
00:39:33,248 --> 00:39:35,483
Yes, roll the tips.
888
00:39:35,550 --> 00:39:37,887
Now, open it up.
Open it up, open it up!
889
00:39:38,286 --> 00:39:40,956
Yes.
Give me a hyena.
890
00:39:41,023 --> 00:39:44,994
- Oh, yeah.
- Those fingertips are so sexy.
891
00:39:45,060 --> 00:39:46,996
God, look at that.
So, Diva tells me
892
00:39:47,062 --> 00:39:50,231
that this is your first hand job
in eight years.
893
00:39:50,298 --> 00:39:53,636
Hand job?
Oh, you're so funny.
894
00:39:53,703 --> 00:39:55,303
I get it. Uh, no, actually,
895
00:39:55,370 --> 00:39:57,673
I haven't given
a hand job since I was 17.
896
00:39:57,740 --> 00:40:00,042
Well, looks like
we'll have to change that.
897
00:40:00,108 --> 00:40:01,610
I'm just kidding,
I.. I'm kidding.
898
00:40:01,677 --> 00:40:03,387
Okay, you know what?
Let's go to the chocolates.
899
00:40:03,411 --> 00:40:05,146
Let's place one
on the index finger,
900
00:40:05,213 --> 00:40:07,449
on the tip, okay?
901
00:40:08,216 --> 00:40:11,086
Gently place it there,
Jasmine. Thank you.
902
00:40:11,152 --> 00:40:12,587
- Okay, Alexis.
- Hold still.
903
00:40:12,655 --> 00:40:15,390
Hold it there. Okay. Come on.
904
00:40:15,457 --> 00:40:17,760
That's gorgeous.
Come on. No, no.
905
00:40:17,827 --> 00:40:21,664
Open it up,
let me see it. Nice.
906
00:40:21,997 --> 00:40:23,699
Give me a round.
Give me a round, for me.
907
00:40:23,766 --> 00:40:24,900
Come on. Come on.
908
00:40:31,506 --> 00:40:32,641
Wait.
909
00:40:33,475 --> 00:40:36,111
Yes,
yes. Give it to me..
910
00:40:40,850 --> 00:40:44,452
I.. I'm melting.
911
00:40:44,854 --> 00:40:46,154
I'm melt..
912
00:40:46,221 --> 00:40:48,523
Melt..
-
913
00:40:48,858 --> 00:40:51,159
- I'm melting!
- Oh my God!
914
00:40:51,226 --> 00:40:52,971
- I'm melting!
- Jasmine, will you help her up?
915
00:40:52,995 --> 00:40:55,130
Come..
916
00:40:55,196 --> 00:40:57,900
Alexis, wha.. what's wrong?
917
00:40:57,967 --> 00:41:00,401
- She drugged me.
- Wait, wait, wait. What?
918
00:41:00,736 --> 00:41:03,773
- Did you eat the edibles?
- "Did you eat the edibles?"
919
00:41:03,839 --> 00:41:05,406
She gave them to me.
920
00:41:05,473 --> 00:41:08,110
Oh my God, look at your titties.
921
00:41:08,176 --> 00:41:10,245
They're so big!
922
00:41:10,311 --> 00:41:13,115
That's a wrap. We got it. We got it.
Come on. Jasmine, you can get up.
923
00:41:13,181 --> 00:41:14,616
No. Come on, let's go.
924
00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:17,252
We got it. We got the shot.
You're such a pro.
925
00:41:17,318 --> 00:41:19,521
Yes! Okay.
926
00:41:19,587 --> 00:41:21,056
I want a hot dog.
927
00:41:21,656 --> 00:41:24,225
I will give you
a hot dog. Let's go.
928
00:41:38,908 --> 00:41:42,077
All right, you're our last guest.
You can join them by the pool,
929
00:41:42,144 --> 00:41:43,664
they're about to begin
in five minutes.
930
00:41:43,712 --> 00:41:44,880
All right. Thank you.
931
00:41:56,591 --> 00:41:57,927
You made it!
932
00:41:58,293 --> 00:42:01,096
Oh, and you brought
a bag of tricks.
933
00:42:01,163 --> 00:42:02,798
Some people
usually wait a few times
934
00:42:02,865 --> 00:42:04,299
before they dive right in.
935
00:42:04,365 --> 00:42:06,434
But you're just getting
all in there, aren't you?
936
00:42:06,501 --> 00:42:08,303
Yeah, I'm a good swimmer.
937
00:42:08,369 --> 00:42:09,839
Look, I don't mean to brag,
938
00:42:09,905 --> 00:42:12,674
but I was on the JV team
for four years.
939
00:42:12,741 --> 00:42:14,542
- What's up, buddy?
- Oh, God!
940
00:42:14,609 --> 00:42:16,812
Oh, man,
I knew you'd come around.
941
00:42:16,879 --> 00:42:18,981
- Wow. Oh!
- Yeah.
942
00:42:19,048 --> 00:42:21,249
- Hey.
- The whole gang is here.
943
00:42:21,316 --> 00:42:23,018
- Hey, Marco.
- Okay.
944
00:42:23,085 --> 00:42:26,055
We've been coming to these
pool parties for some time now.
945
00:42:26,121 --> 00:42:30,192
Really? And you never thought
of inviting Alexis and me?
946
00:42:31,994 --> 00:42:35,430
- Who doesn't love a good pool party, right?
- -Yeah.
947
00:42:38,968 --> 00:42:40,169
Let's get wet.
948
00:42:40,235 --> 00:42:41,269
Let's get wet!
949
00:42:54,249 --> 00:42:56,618
- Marquito!
- Ah, Jesus.
950
00:42:57,452 --> 00:42:59,121
You were invited?
951
00:42:59,188 --> 00:43:00,588
Sheesh.
952
00:43:00,655 --> 00:43:01,991
Technically, no.
953
00:43:02,057 --> 00:43:03,893
I saw your text from Miss Beach,
954
00:43:03,959 --> 00:43:05,060
so I'm crashing.
955
00:43:05,127 --> 00:43:06,527
But I knew
you'd need a sidekick.
956
00:43:06,594 --> 00:43:08,329
You saw my text? That's..
957
00:43:08,396 --> 00:43:11,901
Oh, and I'm gonna need a ride.
I took the bus.
958
00:43:12,634 --> 00:43:14,636
You took the bus
wearing water shoes?
959
00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:17,605
It's for the environment, bro.
Don't judge.
960
00:43:19,340 --> 00:43:21,844
Hey, hey. I'm really glad
961
00:43:21,911 --> 00:43:24,113
- that you're here.
- Why isn't anyone in the pool?
962
00:43:24,179 --> 00:43:25,546
That's what I mean.
963
00:43:26,081 --> 00:43:29,051
Something's up. I, I, I just
can't put my finger on it.
964
00:43:29,118 --> 00:43:34,422
But the fact that they never invited
Alexis and me to one of these parties..
965
00:43:34,722 --> 00:43:36,324
Can I have your attention,
everybody?
966
00:43:36,391 --> 00:43:38,559
I'd like to welcome everyone.
967
00:43:38,626 --> 00:43:41,396
As always, we will go
over the short rules.
968
00:43:41,462 --> 00:43:43,598
I'm glad they're reminding
everyone not to run.
969
00:43:43,665 --> 00:43:45,300
I fell on my head so hard once,
970
00:43:45,366 --> 00:43:47,269
I forgot how to wipe
my own ass for a week.
971
00:43:47,335 --> 00:43:49,171
The safe word is "papaya."
972
00:43:49,238 --> 00:43:51,739
That's the original manager
of Guns N' Roses.
973
00:43:51,806 --> 00:43:53,341
- No way.
- Yeah, bro.
974
00:43:53,408 --> 00:43:54,728
I didn't know
he was in the bingo.
975
00:43:54,776 --> 00:43:56,145
. And unfortunately you can't
976
00:43:56,211 --> 00:43:58,147
come back ever again.
977
00:43:58,213 --> 00:43:59,547
Let's begin.
978
00:44:05,553 --> 00:44:08,489
- Fourteen.
- Boom, yeah!
979
00:44:08,556 --> 00:44:10,292
Number one draft pick.
980
00:44:10,358 --> 00:44:12,827
University of awesome, bro.
981
00:44:12,895 --> 00:44:14,696
These people
are so fucking organized.
982
00:44:14,762 --> 00:44:16,664
All of this
just to get in the pool?
983
00:44:16,731 --> 00:44:19,400
I swear I'm gonna cannonball
on these fools when I get in.
984
00:44:19,467 --> 00:44:22,437
- I'm with you.
- I have an 18 and a 3.
985
00:44:22,503 --> 00:44:24,472
Alright.
986
00:44:25,074 --> 00:44:26,275
We have a 26.
987
00:44:26,341 --> 00:44:28,177
Yeah!
988
00:44:28,243 --> 00:44:30,611
- Thirty.
- That's you, bro.
989
00:44:30,678 --> 00:44:31,678
Oh shit.
990
00:44:33,248 --> 00:44:35,317
Yeah. Alright.
991
00:44:35,383 --> 00:44:36,919
Thank you. Thank you.
992
00:44:36,986 --> 00:44:38,187
- Alright.
- Bye.
993
00:44:38,253 --> 00:44:40,555
Yeah, man.
See you in the pool, bro.
994
00:44:40,621 --> 00:44:41,991
Whoo-hoo!
995
00:44:43,892 --> 00:44:45,827
Hey, 30.
996
00:44:45,894 --> 00:44:49,864
Hey, you are
in the bomb pop room.
997
00:44:49,932 --> 00:44:51,066
Follow me.
998
00:44:51,399 --> 00:44:52,633
Okay.
999
00:44:57,306 --> 00:44:59,640
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
1000
00:45:05,380 --> 00:45:07,049
What the fuck?
1001
00:45:16,858 --> 00:45:19,361
The toys are always
the best part.
1002
00:45:19,727 --> 00:45:22,764
Oh, god. I'm sorry,
is, is this your room?
1003
00:45:22,830 --> 00:45:25,767
It's our room.
Should we change now?
1004
00:45:26,201 --> 00:45:29,071
Um, sure.
1005
00:45:30,105 --> 00:45:31,940
Oh, you mean now? Oh, oh, okay.
1006
00:45:32,007 --> 00:45:35,810
I'll, I'll just turn around
and give you some privacy.
1007
00:45:38,479 --> 00:45:39,757
Oh, ow. What?
What are you doing?
1008
00:45:39,781 --> 00:45:42,850
You have small wrists.
I like that.
1009
00:45:42,917 --> 00:45:45,187
Maybe we can use it
to our advantage.
1010
00:45:45,254 --> 00:45:46,355
What about the pool?
1011
00:45:46,421 --> 00:45:49,058
Meh, meh, meh.
1012
00:45:49,124 --> 00:45:52,660
Oh, my God. Oh.
1013
00:45:55,463 --> 00:45:56,463
Shut up!
1014
00:46:02,071 --> 00:46:03,704
Oh, uh, sorry. I.. My bad.
1015
00:46:04,073 --> 00:46:06,574
No, honey,
you're in the right room.
1016
00:46:06,874 --> 00:46:07,942
Close the door.
1017
00:46:09,777 --> 00:46:10,912
Okay.
1018
00:46:15,117 --> 00:46:16,484
I, uh..
1019
00:46:18,187 --> 00:46:20,822
Are we supposed to do something?
1020
00:46:23,258 --> 00:46:25,493
- Are those for me?
- Hell yeah.
1021
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,496
We have company joining us
in just a moment.
1022
00:46:30,999 --> 00:46:32,167
No way.
1023
00:46:32,567 --> 00:46:34,702
My dreams are finally
coming true.
1024
00:46:34,769 --> 00:46:36,704
I've always wanted to be
in a threesome.
1025
00:46:36,771 --> 00:46:38,273
Can I keep my water shoes on?
1026
00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:40,275
Whatever floats
your boat, darling.
1027
00:46:43,644 --> 00:46:46,248
Hi, my name is Gunther.
1028
00:46:50,452 --> 00:46:53,155
I have more toys.
1029
00:46:59,061 --> 00:47:01,063
A runner! How fun.
1030
00:47:08,203 --> 00:47:09,871
You didn't say papaya.
1031
00:47:16,445 --> 00:47:18,579
- What?
- Papaya. Papaya.
1032
00:47:18,646 --> 00:47:20,815
Get these cuffs off me, please.
1033
00:47:21,150 --> 00:47:22,717
- Okay.
- Oh, my god.
1034
00:47:24,086 --> 00:47:25,553
Come on. Estanley.
1035
00:47:26,821 --> 00:47:27,688
Estanley.
1036
00:47:27,755 --> 00:47:28,856
Oh, I'm sorry.
1037
00:47:28,923 --> 00:47:30,292
I'm sorry.
1038
00:47:35,364 --> 00:47:36,764
- Bob?
- Marco.
1039
00:47:36,831 --> 00:47:38,966
- Marco, here.
- No, I'm good.
1040
00:47:40,068 --> 00:47:41,170
I'm good.
1041
00:47:43,704 --> 00:47:45,640
Estanley.
1042
00:47:46,241 --> 00:47:48,143
Estanley.
1043
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,916
Estanley, Estanley.
1044
00:47:56,185 --> 00:47:59,454
I've never known
so much pleasure.
1045
00:47:59,954 --> 00:48:02,924
Marco. Hey.
Awesome pool party, huh?
1046
00:48:02,990 --> 00:48:05,127
Uh, Estanley, we've gotta go.
1047
00:48:05,194 --> 00:48:06,861
Hell, no, bro.
1048
00:48:06,928 --> 00:48:09,664
I, I've waited for this moment
my whole life.
1049
00:48:09,730 --> 00:48:12,167
- I'm leaving.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1050
00:48:12,633 --> 00:48:15,570
Mistress Tanya,
may I please have a ride home?
1051
00:48:15,636 --> 00:48:17,239
I'll give you a ride, honey.
1052
00:48:17,306 --> 00:48:18,573
Thank you, Mistress Tanya.
1053
00:48:18,639 --> 00:48:19,541
You good, man?
1054
00:48:19,607 --> 00:48:21,642
I'm so good, bro.
1055
00:48:22,643 --> 00:48:23,644
Good luck.
1056
00:48:23,711 --> 00:48:25,280
Marco! Marco!
1057
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,317
Don't forget about me, bro.
1058
00:48:29,650 --> 00:48:31,253
Marco! Marco!
1059
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:32,487
- What?
- This is Gunther.
1060
00:48:32,554 --> 00:48:33,721
- Hi.
- Can he come over
1061
00:48:33,788 --> 00:48:36,124
- for pizza Friday night?
- Sure.
1062
00:48:37,024 --> 00:48:39,093
Okay, Estanley.
1063
00:48:40,362 --> 00:48:44,966
One, two, or three balls?
1064
00:48:45,032 --> 00:48:47,702
Yes, please. Oh.
1065
00:48:52,407 --> 00:48:55,177
So weird. I didn't think Gunther
would be the one to cry.
1066
00:48:55,244 --> 00:48:56,345
Yeah. What a little bitch.
1067
00:48:56,411 --> 00:48:57,845
I did all the work.
1068
00:48:58,213 --> 00:48:59,348
Get me three tacos.
1069
00:48:59,414 --> 00:49:00,781
Yes, ma'am.
1070
00:49:02,384 --> 00:49:04,085
Hamburger for Tomas!
1071
00:49:06,621 --> 00:49:08,523
Ah-ha! I knew it.
1072
00:49:08,590 --> 00:49:11,260
You carrot top motherfucker.
1073
00:49:11,626 --> 00:49:13,262
What's this?
1074
00:49:13,328 --> 00:49:14,396
Mm?
1075
00:49:14,996 --> 00:49:16,365
A burger?
1076
00:49:18,866 --> 00:49:20,269
You're not a vegan.
1077
00:49:20,335 --> 00:49:21,335
You're a phony.
1078
00:49:21,370 --> 00:49:22,537
Fuck you, Estanley.
1079
00:49:22,604 --> 00:49:24,473
Get back here,
you son of a bitch!
1080
00:49:24,839 --> 00:49:27,008
What about my tacos, fool?
1081
00:49:27,074 --> 00:49:29,143
Oh, my god. That's my neighbor.
1082
00:49:29,211 --> 00:49:30,845
Wait, wait. You know him?
1083
00:49:31,112 --> 00:49:32,113
Yeah.
1084
00:49:32,180 --> 00:49:35,783
Now this, my darling,
is perfection.
1085
00:49:35,850 --> 00:49:37,486
You've got ketchup,
1086
00:49:37,552 --> 00:49:40,688
mustard, mayo, relish,
end to end.
1087
00:49:40,755 --> 00:49:43,124
All the flavor in every bite.
1088
00:49:43,492 --> 00:49:45,059
It looks like a mess.
1089
00:49:45,494 --> 00:49:46,571
Do you want me to make yours?
1090
00:49:46,595 --> 00:49:48,530
No, I'm good, Mr. Perfection.
1091
00:49:48,597 --> 00:49:49,730
Actually, I'm really hungry.
1092
00:49:49,797 --> 00:49:51,366
Oh my god. That long dog
1093
00:49:51,433 --> 00:49:52,967
at the Gwen Stefani concert.
1094
00:49:53,034 --> 00:49:54,835
That shit was perfection.
Am I right?
1095
00:49:54,902 --> 00:49:56,871
Great concert,
but I drank way too much.
1096
00:49:56,937 --> 00:49:59,541
My god. Shit.
This just reminds me.
1097
00:49:59,974 --> 00:50:01,985
- Do you remember the morning after?
- Don't remind me.
1098
00:50:02,009 --> 00:50:04,078
I drove you home in the morning.
1099
00:50:04,413 --> 00:50:05,746
Wait, wait, wait.
1100
00:50:06,581 --> 00:50:08,350
You be me. I'll be you.
1101
00:50:08,417 --> 00:50:10,151
- No.
- Alexis, please.
1102
00:50:10,218 --> 00:50:11,286
No, you're awful.
1103
00:50:11,353 --> 00:50:13,721
- I am awful. Please.
- Fine.
1104
00:50:13,788 --> 00:50:14,822
Thank you.
1105
00:50:15,122 --> 00:50:17,359
- You have to drive.
- Okay. I'm driving.
1106
00:50:19,126 --> 00:50:22,464
- Baby, do you mind pulling over..
- -Okay, sure, sure.
1107
00:50:26,268 --> 00:50:27,369
No.
1108
00:50:30,472 --> 00:50:33,542
I wiped my face
like that too? Okay.
1109
00:50:33,608 --> 00:50:36,411
That was the most demure throw-up
I've ever seen in my life.
1110
00:50:36,478 --> 00:50:38,680
And then you just drove off
like nothing happened.
1111
00:50:38,746 --> 00:50:40,090
I didn't even notice
until I got home
1112
00:50:40,114 --> 00:50:41,849
there was puke
all on the side of my car.
1113
00:50:41,916 --> 00:50:43,352
I know. I'm so sorry.
1114
00:50:43,418 --> 00:50:47,121
I was such an idiot.
I think we just began dating.
1115
00:50:47,722 --> 00:50:48,923
It took me a while to get you
1116
00:50:48,989 --> 00:50:51,726
to let your walls down
and just be you.
1117
00:50:52,461 --> 00:50:53,362
Puke and all.
1118
00:50:53,428 --> 00:50:54,962
But you did.
1119
00:50:56,264 --> 00:50:58,500
You know, sometimes I think
you're the last person
1120
00:50:58,567 --> 00:51:01,869
I really got to do that with.
1121
00:51:07,875 --> 00:51:09,243
That jacket looks good on you.
1122
00:51:09,311 --> 00:51:10,778
Thanks.
1123
00:51:11,580 --> 00:51:12,856
You think Jasmine is
gonna sue me?
1124
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,015
No. You..
She basically roofied you.
1125
00:51:15,249 --> 00:51:16,351
- Right.
- Yeah.
1126
00:51:16,651 --> 00:51:18,085
We got what we needed anyway.
1127
00:51:18,152 --> 00:51:19,721
All I cared about was the fact
1128
00:51:19,787 --> 00:51:22,491
that you looked happy
and that you loosened up.
1129
00:51:22,890 --> 00:51:24,892
It reminded me of old times.
1130
00:51:25,327 --> 00:51:26,395
Yeah.
1131
00:51:28,028 --> 00:51:30,264
So..
1132
00:51:37,805 --> 00:51:38,973
Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.
1133
00:51:39,039 --> 00:51:40,485
- Oh, my god.
- It was just an instinct.
1134
00:51:40,509 --> 00:51:41,985
- Are you kidding?
- It's just an old, old habit.
1135
00:51:42,009 --> 00:51:44,945
- I don't know.
- Old habit?
1136
00:51:45,012 --> 00:51:47,416
- Let me take you to the hospital!
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
1137
00:51:47,482 --> 00:51:50,619
It's just, you know. No, I don't want that.
I'm gonna leave it in for a moment.
1138
00:51:50,685 --> 00:51:52,554
You like it?
1139
00:51:52,621 --> 00:51:54,221
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh.
1140
00:51:54,288 --> 00:51:56,591
- Shit. God. You are a crazy fucker.
- Yeah.
1141
00:51:56,658 --> 00:51:57,958
I am. Oh, touch it.
1142
00:51:58,025 --> 00:52:00,462
- Touch it?
- Touch it.
1143
00:52:06,601 --> 00:52:07,868
Oh, this is getting weird.
1144
00:52:07,935 --> 00:52:09,538
Yes. It hasn't hit the bone yet.
1145
00:52:09,604 --> 00:52:10,844
Alright. Alright. So go deeper?
1146
00:53:10,532 --> 00:53:11,999
Hey.
1147
00:53:12,601 --> 00:53:14,368
Hey.
1148
00:53:15,403 --> 00:53:16,538
Do you hate me?
1149
00:53:17,506 --> 00:53:20,174
No. Never.
1150
00:53:21,375 --> 00:53:22,577
It's the opposite.
1151
00:53:23,578 --> 00:53:24,613
I love you.
1152
00:53:24,912 --> 00:53:26,481
I love you too.
1153
00:53:27,682 --> 00:53:29,984
I took the post down last night.
1154
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:32,721
- You were right.
- Whoa, whoa.
1155
00:53:32,787 --> 00:53:36,023
It was stupid and immature
1156
00:53:36,090 --> 00:53:38,092
and I should have never done it.
1157
00:53:38,660 --> 00:53:40,294
That was a big mistake.
1158
00:53:41,429 --> 00:53:45,332
Can we just forget
it ever happened?
1159
00:53:45,634 --> 00:53:47,268
Yes!
1160
00:53:48,537 --> 00:53:50,004
I want nothing more.
1161
00:54:00,549 --> 00:54:01,650
So..
1162
00:54:03,017 --> 00:54:05,687
You took it down
with no explanation?
1163
00:54:06,387 --> 00:54:10,257
"For better or for worse,
we aren't divorcing.
1164
00:54:10,324 --> 00:54:13,327
I'm sorry to everyone
who worried about us.
1165
00:54:13,394 --> 00:54:14,462
We love you."
1166
00:54:14,763 --> 00:54:16,765
Aww, that's perfect.
1167
00:54:18,733 --> 00:54:21,201
But could you repeat
one thing? Um..
1168
00:54:21,903 --> 00:54:25,473
- Yeah.
- Could you repeat the part
1169
00:54:25,540 --> 00:54:28,342
when you said the words
"You were right"?
1170
00:54:32,980 --> 00:54:34,248
Oh, you liked that, didn't you?
1171
00:54:34,315 --> 00:54:38,352
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, you were so right.
1172
00:54:38,419 --> 00:54:39,487
Again.
1173
00:54:41,823 --> 00:54:44,191
You were so..
1174
00:54:44,258 --> 00:54:45,594
- . Right.
- Yeah?
1175
00:54:48,095 --> 00:54:49,764
- All right then.
- Mm-hmm.
1176
00:54:49,831 --> 00:54:52,132
Mm-hmm.
1177
00:55:04,979 --> 00:55:06,380
Oh, my god.
1178
00:55:08,182 --> 00:55:10,752
Oh, my god, babe,
I have some amazing news.
1179
00:55:11,251 --> 00:55:14,088
Babe, what's wrong?
1180
00:55:15,590 --> 00:55:16,991
Debby sent me this.
1181
00:55:19,093 --> 00:55:20,795
Okay. I, I can explain.
1182
00:55:21,295 --> 00:55:23,898
Did she send you the one
where I stabbed him in the leg
1183
00:55:23,965 --> 00:55:25,667
with the pencil right after?
1184
00:55:27,401 --> 00:55:29,103
- You're unbelievable.
- Marco?
1185
00:55:29,169 --> 00:55:30,371
- No!
- Get off me!
1186
00:55:30,437 --> 00:55:31,437
Babe.
1187
00:55:34,441 --> 00:55:35,543
Bitch.
1188
00:55:37,511 --> 00:55:38,647
God.
1189
00:55:42,182 --> 00:55:44,986
I tried to tell you that
she's out of your league, bro.
1190
00:55:45,052 --> 00:55:49,156
Ugh! Fuck you, Estanley.
1191
00:55:49,758 --> 00:55:52,126
Everybody is in my league, man.
1192
00:55:52,192 --> 00:55:55,597
Alright? I'm not short.
I'm not tall either.
1193
00:55:56,665 --> 00:55:58,132
I'm good-looking.
1194
00:55:59,033 --> 00:56:00,935
I've made something of myself.
1195
00:56:01,002 --> 00:56:05,607
Listen, so is Alexis really sad?
1196
00:56:05,940 --> 00:56:07,074
She should be.
1197
00:56:07,541 --> 00:56:09,577
I'm the best thing
she's ever had.
1198
00:56:09,644 --> 00:56:13,948
Is she angry? Like "I'm gonna have
a revenge fuck with some rando
1199
00:56:14,015 --> 00:56:16,083
to get back at that
motherfucker" angry?
1200
00:56:16,150 --> 00:56:17,919
Or, or, or is she angry
1201
00:56:17,986 --> 00:56:20,689
like, "You know what?
Fuck Marco.
1202
00:56:20,755 --> 00:56:22,189
I'm gonna blow all his friends
1203
00:56:22,256 --> 00:56:24,058
because I'm
an independent woman."
1204
00:56:24,124 --> 00:56:26,027
What? That's..
1205
00:56:26,093 --> 00:56:27,862
She kissed him.
1206
00:56:28,262 --> 00:56:29,698
Why would she be mad?
1207
00:56:30,130 --> 00:56:33,968
Guys, guys.
What's with the questions?
1208
00:56:34,268 --> 00:56:36,370
We're just trying to figure out
1209
00:56:36,437 --> 00:56:39,674
if it's a good time
to ask her out now
1210
00:56:39,741 --> 00:56:40,875
or just wait a little bit.
1211
00:56:40,942 --> 00:56:42,342
You're cool with now?
1212
00:56:42,811 --> 00:56:44,244
Are you fucking kidding me?
1213
00:56:44,311 --> 00:56:46,313
- God!
- You two are supposed to be
1214
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:47,481
on my side!
1215
00:56:47,548 --> 00:56:48,817
- Fucking son of a..
- Jesus.
1216
00:56:48,883 --> 00:56:50,451
- Calm down, man.
- . bitch.
1217
00:56:50,517 --> 00:56:53,120
- This is a brand new shirt, you motherfucker.
- Jesus.
1218
00:56:53,187 --> 00:56:55,289
- Christ.
- Goddammit.
1219
00:56:55,556 --> 00:56:56,791
Alright.
1220
00:56:57,659 --> 00:56:59,861
You know what? The way I see it,
1221
00:56:59,928 --> 00:57:01,930
you must remember this.
1222
00:57:02,296 --> 00:57:03,965
A kiss is just a kiss.
1223
00:57:04,364 --> 00:57:07,635
A fly is just a fly. It..
1224
00:57:07,936 --> 00:57:10,705
Ah, fuck. How, how does it go?
1225
00:57:10,772 --> 00:57:12,006
The fuck are you saying?
1226
00:57:12,406 --> 00:57:16,845
Well, what I'm saying is
once you love her screw,
1227
00:57:17,277 --> 00:57:19,446
they still say "I love you."
1228
00:57:19,814 --> 00:57:21,683
And that's the shit, man.
1229
00:57:21,750 --> 00:57:23,617
That's totally the shit.
1230
00:57:23,952 --> 00:57:25,687
That's the shit.
1231
00:57:25,987 --> 00:57:29,423
I love her. I love her.
1232
00:57:32,426 --> 00:57:33,862
He's passed out.
1233
00:57:34,763 --> 00:57:38,632
- Let's sharpie his face and his balls.
- Yeah.
1234
00:57:38,700 --> 00:57:41,201
Did you bring the sharpie?
1235
00:57:41,268 --> 00:57:42,202
Fuck.
1236
00:57:42,269 --> 00:57:43,671
Fuck.
1237
00:57:47,842 --> 00:57:49,476
Save me. Save me.
1238
00:57:50,277 --> 00:57:53,313
I'm the king. I'm the king.
1239
00:57:53,380 --> 00:57:57,417
Oh, god. Oh, god.
Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god.
1240
00:57:59,721 --> 00:58:00,789
No.
1241
00:58:13,835 --> 00:58:15,435
Coffee like you like it.
1242
00:58:17,005 --> 00:58:18,539
How did you know I was here?
1243
00:58:19,206 --> 00:58:21,876
Estanley ordered pizza
from our pizza account.
1244
00:58:23,044 --> 00:58:25,079
Babe, I'm really sorry.
1245
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:29,316
Samuel kissed me, but I swear
I didn't kiss him back.
1246
00:58:29,951 --> 00:58:31,185
You know what, Alexis?
1247
00:58:31,719 --> 00:58:34,288
I warned you that something
like this would happen.
1248
00:58:34,354 --> 00:58:35,589
But you ignored me.
1249
00:58:35,890 --> 00:58:37,859
So this is all your fault.
1250
00:58:37,926 --> 00:58:41,495
- I know.
- The divorce baiting, sending me on a coffee date,
1251
00:58:41,562 --> 00:58:44,464
and then I get violated
at a pool party.
1252
00:58:44,833 --> 00:58:46,366
- What?
- Never mind.
1253
00:58:46,433 --> 00:58:48,736
You have trust issues, Alexis.
1254
00:58:48,803 --> 00:58:52,173
Your walls are up with me
and they won't come down.
1255
00:58:52,239 --> 00:58:54,675
And I feel that
that will never happen.
1256
00:58:54,742 --> 00:58:59,013
But I can handle knowing
that they may never come down,
1257
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:01,481
but you not trusting me
1258
00:59:01,548 --> 00:59:04,651
and then you go out
and you kiss your ex.
1259
00:59:04,718 --> 00:59:05,718
Wow.
1260
00:59:11,291 --> 00:59:12,794
I need time alone.
1261
00:59:13,293 --> 00:59:14,561
Wait, babe.
1262
00:59:19,067 --> 00:59:20,935
Man, is he pissed at you.
1263
00:59:28,642 --> 00:59:29,676
Come in.
1264
00:59:30,845 --> 00:59:32,479
Hi. You busy?
1265
00:59:32,546 --> 00:59:35,582
Oh, hey, Debs. Come in.
1266
00:59:36,184 --> 00:59:37,551
Take a seat.
1267
00:59:41,222 --> 00:59:42,389
You know, I..
1268
00:59:42,790 --> 00:59:45,026
I just wanted to check on you,
so I brought you lunch.
1269
00:59:45,726 --> 00:59:50,031
Oh, wow.
That was very nice of you.
1270
00:59:51,199 --> 00:59:52,266
Shit, I guess it is lunch.
1271
00:59:52,332 --> 00:59:54,969
Yeah. Ahi Poke.
1272
00:59:55,302 --> 00:59:57,805
Are you serious?
That is my favorite.
1273
00:59:57,872 --> 00:59:59,007
You've always got my back.
1274
00:59:59,073 --> 01:00:00,374
It wasn't that hard, honestly.
1275
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,211
You're posting
lots and lots of poke pics.
1276
01:00:03,477 --> 01:00:05,479
Poke pics.
1277
01:00:05,545 --> 01:00:06,480
Right.
1278
01:00:06,546 --> 01:00:07,614
Hey.
1279
01:00:08,448 --> 01:00:10,051
- About the video..
- Oh.
1280
01:00:10,118 --> 01:00:14,155
I just want you to know
I was absolutely tortured
1281
01:00:14,222 --> 01:00:15,389
all night about it.
1282
01:00:15,756 --> 01:00:18,026
But I thought if it were me,
I would want to know.
1283
01:00:18,092 --> 01:00:19,961
So I had to send it.
1284
01:00:20,028 --> 01:00:21,328
Hm. I get it. I get it.
1285
01:00:21,395 --> 01:00:23,297
Well, you did the right thing.
Thank you.
1286
01:00:23,363 --> 01:00:25,166
And I'm sorry that you were
put through that.
1287
01:00:25,233 --> 01:00:27,268
And I'm sure it wasn't
an easy decision.
1288
01:00:27,334 --> 01:00:30,171
So thank you again.
1289
01:00:30,238 --> 01:00:32,040
- Okay.
- Right.
1290
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,543
Oh, by any chance,
is there any sriracha?
1291
01:00:37,444 --> 01:00:40,882
Oh, uh, no.
1292
01:00:40,949 --> 01:00:42,216
That's okay. It's okay.
1293
01:00:42,283 --> 01:00:43,885
I always have extra
in the drawer here.
1294
01:00:50,024 --> 01:00:54,695
Ah, found some sriracha.. Jesus.
1295
01:00:55,429 --> 01:00:57,899
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Debby.
1296
01:00:58,565 --> 01:01:00,400
Debby, what are you doing?
1297
01:01:00,467 --> 01:01:02,502
Hi, Becky.
1298
01:01:02,569 --> 01:01:04,638
Oh, you look so great today.
1299
01:01:04,705 --> 01:01:05,873
Is he in?
1300
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:08,276
Oh, yes, Mrs. Laguna.
1301
01:01:08,342 --> 01:01:10,111
I'm sure he'll be happy
to see you.
1302
01:01:10,178 --> 01:01:13,447
Oh shit. Oh shit.
Come on. Come on.
1303
01:01:13,513 --> 01:01:14,983
Can you please hold his calls
1304
01:01:15,049 --> 01:01:16,616
and not let anyone disturb us?
1305
01:01:16,683 --> 01:01:18,819
- Sure thing.
- Thank you.
1306
01:01:29,964 --> 01:01:31,398
Hi, baby.
1307
01:01:31,465 --> 01:01:33,734
Hi. Oh, good.
1308
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,269
You're closer to forgiving me.
1309
01:01:35,336 --> 01:01:36,337
Oh, we're good, baby.
1310
01:01:36,403 --> 01:01:37,471
Yeah.
1311
01:01:37,537 --> 01:01:39,173
Oh, we're good.
1312
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,175
I see you have lunch.
1313
01:01:41,242 --> 01:01:46,014
Awesome. Because
I brought you dessert.
1314
01:01:46,713 --> 01:01:48,715
Oh, wow.
1315
01:01:49,050 --> 01:01:50,051
Wow.
1316
01:01:50,650 --> 01:01:53,254
I know you've been wanting me
1317
01:01:53,321 --> 01:01:55,356
to give you a little show.
1318
01:01:55,422 --> 01:01:57,225
Stay right there, baby.
Right there.
1319
01:01:57,291 --> 01:01:59,559
- I just..
- I want to take it all in.
1320
01:01:59,626 --> 01:02:01,862
I want to look at you
for a moment.
1321
01:02:03,131 --> 01:02:04,131
Hey, girl.
1322
01:02:06,167 --> 01:02:08,568
Alexis, nothing happened.
1323
01:02:08,635 --> 01:02:12,173
Debby, tell her
I didn't do anything.
1324
01:02:13,774 --> 01:02:16,543
Oh shit. I didn't do anything.
1325
01:02:20,814 --> 01:02:21,882
Debby.
1326
01:02:22,183 --> 01:02:24,484
Why? Why?
1327
01:02:38,432 --> 01:02:40,434
Baby, what are you doing?
1328
01:02:41,302 --> 01:02:42,736
I knew it.
1329
01:02:42,803 --> 01:02:43,803
Knew what?
1330
01:02:44,438 --> 01:02:46,883
When your ex-wife's friends reached
out to you after your divorce,
1331
01:02:46,907 --> 01:02:48,708
you could have said no,
but you didn't.
1332
01:02:49,243 --> 01:02:52,113
There are plenty of women
who would have slept with you.
1333
01:02:52,579 --> 01:02:54,348
Were you secretly
lusting after them
1334
01:02:54,415 --> 01:02:55,615
while you were married?
1335
01:02:55,682 --> 01:02:57,951
Baby, please stop doing this.
1336
01:02:58,286 --> 01:03:00,221
Stop doing this.
1337
01:03:01,755 --> 01:03:03,557
This is so messed up, Marco.
1338
01:03:03,857 --> 01:03:06,360
You asked me
to let my guard down.
1339
01:03:06,427 --> 01:03:08,528
You set us up for disaster.
1340
01:03:08,996 --> 01:03:11,332
You've always had
one foot out the door.
1341
01:03:11,665 --> 01:03:13,467
You have never let me in.
1342
01:03:13,533 --> 01:03:15,069
And this whole
divorce bait thing,
1343
01:03:15,136 --> 01:03:18,839
it wasn't that you just
couldn't trust your friends.
1344
01:03:19,506 --> 01:03:23,211
You couldn't trust me.
You never have.
1345
01:03:25,712 --> 01:03:26,880
So this is my fault?
1346
01:03:26,947 --> 01:03:28,416
- I didn't say that.
- I'm leaving.
1347
01:03:28,482 --> 01:03:29,922
I.. whoa, whoa.
Where are you going?
1348
01:03:29,950 --> 01:03:34,088
This is ridiculous.
We're married, baby.
1349
01:03:37,657 --> 01:03:39,060
Diva still can't work,
1350
01:03:39,559 --> 01:03:41,895
and the company
really loved what I did.
1351
01:03:42,196 --> 01:03:43,830
They offered me a campaign.
1352
01:03:44,831 --> 01:03:47,235
I've already worked it out
with Emma's dad.
1353
01:03:47,301 --> 01:03:48,869
I'll be gone for three weeks.
1354
01:03:51,239 --> 01:03:54,608
Well, I'm so glad
that you worked this all out.
1355
01:03:55,008 --> 01:03:57,611
Uh, let me guess, is your ex
going to be there?
1356
01:03:58,212 --> 01:04:00,248
I shut that down, Marco.
He's not even an issue.
1357
01:04:00,314 --> 01:04:03,717
Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. You're gonna
give all this up for that jerk?
1358
01:04:03,783 --> 01:04:06,920
- Oh, stop being insecure.
- I'm not insecure.
1359
01:04:07,321 --> 01:04:08,688
That fucker ain't
got shit on me.
1360
01:04:08,755 --> 01:04:12,126
Oh yeah. Well,
at least he's never hurt me.
1361
01:04:14,761 --> 01:04:16,730
Neither have I, Alexis.
1362
01:04:20,468 --> 01:04:21,768
Fuck.
1363
01:04:53,401 --> 01:04:56,537
Hey, it's Alexis.
You know what to do.
1364
01:04:59,507 --> 01:05:01,309
Where are you, Alexis?
1365
01:05:01,375 --> 01:05:03,177
Why you do this all the time?
1366
01:05:10,551 --> 01:05:12,253
Marco.
1367
01:05:13,521 --> 01:05:15,323
You shouldn't leave
your back door open.
1368
01:05:15,389 --> 01:05:16,756
Weirdos can just walk right in.
1369
01:05:16,823 --> 01:05:19,759
Present company not excluded.
1370
01:05:20,594 --> 01:05:24,030
Marco. This is a mantervention.
1371
01:05:24,965 --> 01:05:27,235
- A what?
- We're intervening on your hall pass
1372
01:05:27,301 --> 01:05:29,069
because we know
you're gonna fuck this up.
1373
01:05:29,136 --> 01:05:30,136
Take notes.
1374
01:05:30,504 --> 01:05:33,574
I.. I'm not
on a hall pass, guys.
1375
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:35,443
Alright?
I don't want to see other women.
1376
01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:37,511
This is
every married man's dream.
1377
01:05:37,578 --> 01:05:39,513
Guys, this isn't a breakup.
1378
01:05:39,813 --> 01:05:42,015
You don't think she's out there
banging that stallion?
1379
01:05:42,082 --> 01:05:44,784
- I do.
- I wouldn't call him a stallion.
1380
01:05:44,851 --> 01:05:46,720
While you sit here moping,
1381
01:05:46,786 --> 01:05:49,990
she's out there
riding him like a bull.
1382
01:05:50,056 --> 01:05:52,125
I bet he's pulling her hair.
1383
01:05:52,193 --> 01:05:54,995
- "Ah, Pull my hair."
- All of her hair.
1384
01:05:55,061 --> 01:05:57,365
- "Pull my hair, baby."
- Doing the stuff
1385
01:05:57,431 --> 01:05:59,433
you won't even dream of doing.
1386
01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:01,701
- Fuck stuff.
- All the..
1387
01:06:01,768 --> 01:06:02,936
Jesus, Bob.
1388
01:06:03,003 --> 01:06:04,538
What the hell's
your problem, man?
1389
01:06:04,605 --> 01:06:06,240
We're just trying
to help you get laid
1390
01:06:06,307 --> 01:06:09,477
before that window of
opportunity closes on you, man.
1391
01:06:09,543 --> 01:06:11,911
Shrinking and shrinking
and shrinking.
1392
01:06:11,978 --> 01:06:14,648
You gotta dive through
before it closes.
1393
01:06:14,714 --> 01:06:16,016
I don't want to get laid.
1394
01:06:19,186 --> 01:06:20,421
I don't think he does.
1395
01:06:21,121 --> 01:06:24,157
The best part is,
you can do it all
1396
01:06:24,225 --> 01:06:26,826
from the comfort
of your lumpy-ass couch.
1397
01:06:26,893 --> 01:06:28,161
What are you talking about?
1398
01:06:28,229 --> 01:06:30,096
Virtual dating, bro.
1399
01:06:30,163 --> 01:06:32,566
It's what you always said
you wish you got to do.
1400
01:06:32,633 --> 01:06:34,668
You don't even
got to touch a girl,
1401
01:06:34,734 --> 01:06:36,703
so you can do
all kinds of kinky stuff,
1402
01:06:36,770 --> 01:06:39,105
completely disease free.
1403
01:06:39,607 --> 01:06:41,007
Oh, wow, Bob.
1404
01:06:41,074 --> 01:06:43,444
- Mm.
- So you're saying I can look at naked girls
1405
01:06:43,511 --> 01:06:46,780
-on my computer screen without even touching them?
- Mm.
1406
01:06:47,214 --> 01:06:49,450
Man, I think
that's called jerking off.
1407
01:06:49,816 --> 01:06:52,586
- Yeah.
- It's a revolution in dating.
1408
01:06:52,653 --> 01:06:55,689
Oh, I remember my first
FaceTime fuck.
1409
01:06:56,056 --> 01:06:59,726
She had me do things that no one
else has ever made me do again.
1410
01:06:59,793 --> 01:07:01,429
Like what? Go on a real date?
1411
01:07:01,495 --> 01:07:03,531
No, like call her repeatedly
1412
01:07:03,597 --> 01:07:05,065
while her phone was on vibrate.
1413
01:07:05,466 --> 01:07:07,934
She wrapped that phone up
and made it disappear.
1414
01:07:08,269 --> 01:07:10,070
Oh, I had that bitch
on speed dial.
1415
01:07:10,136 --> 01:07:13,807
I'd call, stop, call, stop,
1416
01:07:13,873 --> 01:07:17,110
call, stop!
1417
01:07:17,445 --> 01:07:20,747
We're sorry. Your call cannot be
completed as dialed.
1418
01:07:20,814 --> 01:07:23,417
- Mm.
- Mm. Sounds magical.
1419
01:07:23,484 --> 01:07:25,486
Now, there are some things
you might have forgotten
1420
01:07:25,553 --> 01:07:28,030
since you're always jumping from
one marriage directly into another.
1421
01:07:28,054 --> 01:07:30,658
I, I'd tell you to fuck off
if that weren't true.
1422
01:07:30,724 --> 01:07:33,827
You gotta remember, the hotter that
chick, the crazier she's gonna be.
1423
01:07:33,893 --> 01:07:35,895
Come on, guys. This is bullshit.
1424
01:07:36,263 --> 01:07:39,633
Alexis is hot,
but she's not crazy.
1425
01:07:39,999 --> 01:07:41,702
She's just really insecure.
1426
01:07:42,269 --> 01:07:44,472
And she makes up things
in her mind
1427
01:07:44,771 --> 01:07:48,842
about people
that aren't true, and, um..
1428
01:07:49,843 --> 01:07:51,144
Shit, she's crazy.
1429
01:07:52,446 --> 01:07:53,747
- Go on.
- Okay.
1430
01:07:53,813 --> 01:07:56,249
We've taken the liberty
1431
01:07:56,317 --> 01:08:01,589
of creating you your very own
online dating profile.
1432
01:08:01,655 --> 01:08:04,224
What? That's my computer, man.
I've been looking all over for it.
1433
01:08:04,291 --> 01:08:06,126
I took it off
your nightstand this morning.
1434
01:08:06,192 --> 01:08:08,962
By the way,
he is really an ugly sleeper.
1435
01:08:09,028 --> 01:08:11,188
Add that to the list. No
sleepovers after getting laid.
1436
01:08:11,231 --> 01:08:15,935
- No, no, no.
- But nonetheless, you are getting a ton of hits.
1437
01:08:16,002 --> 01:08:17,671
- I am?
- Hell yeah, bro.
1438
01:08:17,738 --> 01:08:19,172
You're a successful divorcée
1439
01:08:19,239 --> 01:08:21,083
who looks like one
of those high school teachers
1440
01:08:21,107 --> 01:08:22,776
who bangs all his students.
1441
01:08:22,842 --> 01:08:25,379
You're every woman's dream.
1442
01:08:27,180 --> 01:08:28,248
Yeah.
1443
01:08:28,649 --> 01:08:29,649
Sure.
1444
01:08:30,016 --> 01:08:32,319
All right. All right.
1445
01:08:32,819 --> 01:08:35,623
Heck, I'll try it.
But just not right now.
1446
01:08:35,855 --> 01:08:36,890
- All right?
- Okay.
1447
01:08:36,956 --> 01:08:38,158
- Yeah, all right.
- Yeah.
1448
01:08:38,224 --> 01:08:39,593
You'll see.
This is good for you.
1449
01:08:39,660 --> 01:08:40,827
You know, stress builds up
1450
01:08:40,894 --> 01:08:42,171
- in a man's nut sack.
- Yeah. Okay.
1451
01:08:42,195 --> 01:08:43,830
It has to just get out.
1452
01:08:43,897 --> 01:08:45,399
- Oh, great. Thanks, doctor.
- Wait.
1453
01:08:45,466 --> 01:08:47,535
- Where are you going?
- You gonna finish this?
1454
01:08:48,469 --> 01:08:50,170
First my laptop, now my pizza?
1455
01:08:50,870 --> 01:08:52,172
You got anything else?
1456
01:08:52,773 --> 01:08:54,207
Get out of here.
1457
01:09:28,107 --> 01:09:30,910
Hey. Is the van not here yet?
1458
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:33,046
Uh, nope.
1459
01:09:33,547 --> 01:09:34,615
Oh.
1460
01:09:36,417 --> 01:09:38,385
Look, uh, you're doing
a great job.
1461
01:09:39,052 --> 01:09:41,354
It's like riding a bike.
You never forget.
1462
01:09:41,422 --> 01:09:43,791
Yeah, but
I don't know how to ride a bike.
1463
01:09:44,257 --> 01:09:46,893
- First time I tried, I broke my leg.
- How did I not know
1464
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:48,472
that you didn't know
how to ride a bike?
1465
01:09:48,496 --> 01:09:49,630
I don't know.
1466
01:09:50,163 --> 01:09:52,466
Okay, you know what,
this is my new mission.
1467
01:09:52,533 --> 01:09:54,502
But first..
1468
01:09:55,969 --> 01:09:57,414
I have something.
Give.. Give me a second.
1469
01:09:57,438 --> 01:09:59,707
- Okay? Wait for it.
- What?
1470
01:09:59,773 --> 01:10:02,543
You can trust Samuel.
1471
01:10:05,513 --> 01:10:06,714
Look, I'm not a total jerk.
1472
01:10:07,247 --> 01:10:09,416
Little bit of a jerk.
Not a total jerk.
1473
01:10:09,483 --> 01:10:10,584
I saw that you were sad.
1474
01:10:12,051 --> 01:10:14,622
And when you were sad,
1475
01:10:14,688 --> 01:10:16,923
when we were together, we..
1476
01:10:18,091 --> 01:10:21,395
Used to have
the most amazing makeup sex.
1477
01:10:21,462 --> 01:10:23,697
Okay, but not anymore.
1478
01:10:29,870 --> 01:10:32,038
But dancing used
to make you smile too.
1479
01:10:36,409 --> 01:10:37,478
May I?
1480
01:10:40,179 --> 01:10:43,049
- Come on.
- Okay.
1481
01:11:12,078 --> 01:11:14,013
- It's the van.
- Oh.
1482
01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:15,949
- Good.
- Yeah. All right. Um..
1483
01:11:16,282 --> 01:11:18,652
Uh, I'm gonna get my things.
All right.
1484
01:11:26,025 --> 01:11:27,060
Oh, shit.
1485
01:11:27,393 --> 01:11:28,995
How did you guys get in here?
1486
01:11:29,062 --> 01:11:30,430
Told you to lock your door.
1487
01:11:30,497 --> 01:11:32,499
- Marco, in just a moment..
- Hmm.
1488
01:11:32,566 --> 01:11:34,802
You will begin
your virtual sex life.
1489
01:11:35,134 --> 01:11:37,671
You have a real fake date
with Cherry.
1490
01:11:38,237 --> 01:11:39,472
Wait, you mean right now?
1491
01:11:39,540 --> 01:11:40,741
- Now or never.
- Yeah.
1492
01:11:40,808 --> 01:11:42,041
- Later.
- Good luck, bro.
1493
01:11:42,108 --> 01:11:43,385
Wait, you two.
What are you doing?
1494
01:11:43,409 --> 01:11:44,745
I don't know
who the hell is this.
1495
01:11:44,812 --> 01:11:45,579
Get it.
1496
01:11:45,646 --> 01:11:46,747
What the..
1497
01:11:46,814 --> 01:11:48,281
Hello?
1498
01:11:48,716 --> 01:11:49,716
I'm here.
1499
01:11:49,983 --> 01:11:51,885
- Hey.
- Marco?
1500
01:11:51,952 --> 01:11:53,554
Uh, Cherry.
1501
01:11:53,621 --> 01:11:56,055
- Yeah, that's me.
- Hmm.
1502
01:11:56,122 --> 01:11:59,793
You look way better "in person."
1503
01:12:01,895 --> 01:12:05,098
- Thank you.
- You.. You're very pretty.
1504
01:12:05,164 --> 01:12:08,001
Oh, handsome and sweet.
1505
01:12:08,067 --> 01:12:10,470
Check and check.
1506
01:12:10,938 --> 01:12:12,238
Oh, you have a checklist.
1507
01:12:12,305 --> 01:12:13,774
Absolutely.
1508
01:12:14,240 --> 01:12:16,677
Well, this is
my first virtual date.
1509
01:12:16,744 --> 01:12:18,277
- No way.
- Hmm.
1510
01:12:18,344 --> 01:12:21,047
Cherry's popping your cherry.
1511
01:12:22,816 --> 01:12:24,785
Hey, do you wanna play a game?
1512
01:12:24,852 --> 01:12:25,853
Sure. What game?
1513
01:12:25,919 --> 01:12:28,822
Strip Two Truths and a Lie.
1514
01:12:28,889 --> 01:12:29,990
Okay, got it.
1515
01:12:30,056 --> 01:12:32,091
I'll guess first.
1516
01:12:32,158 --> 01:12:36,062
Let's see.
I've traveled to Japan.
1517
01:12:36,129 --> 01:12:38,699
I've traveled to Amsterdam.
1518
01:12:39,065 --> 01:12:41,267
And I've traveled to Spain.
1519
01:12:41,334 --> 01:12:45,371
I think you've traveled
to Spain and Amsterdam.
1520
01:12:45,438 --> 01:12:48,742
Wrong. I've always wanted
to travel to Amsterdam.
1521
01:12:48,809 --> 01:12:51,210
Okay. Well, here I go.
1522
01:12:51,277 --> 01:12:53,881
Whoa.
1523
01:12:53,947 --> 01:12:56,182
- Geez.
- My turn.
1524
01:12:56,482 --> 01:12:58,084
I play guitar.
1525
01:12:58,151 --> 01:13:00,688
I play with dolls.
1526
01:13:00,754 --> 01:13:02,488
I play with myself.
1527
01:13:02,555 --> 01:13:06,994
Um, I'm gonna go
with the guitar and yourself.
1528
01:13:07,060 --> 01:13:09,630
Wrong!
1529
01:13:12,131 --> 01:13:15,836
Say hi to James and Ann.
1530
01:13:15,903 --> 01:13:18,939
Oh, that's.. interesting.
1531
01:13:19,439 --> 01:13:21,507
Oh, you're serious.
You want me..
1532
01:13:21,942 --> 01:13:23,376
Hi, James. Hi, Ann.
1533
01:13:23,443 --> 01:13:26,312
You lose, Marco.
1534
01:13:26,379 --> 01:13:28,849
Take something off.
1535
01:13:31,618 --> 01:13:34,021
Oh, nice pecs.
1536
01:13:34,621 --> 01:13:37,057
Are you a dirty boy, Marco?
1537
01:13:37,123 --> 01:13:38,726
Excuse me? Cherry?
1538
01:13:38,792 --> 01:13:40,126
James is talking to you, Marco.
1539
01:13:40,193 --> 01:13:41,561
Aren't you going to answer him?
1540
01:13:41,628 --> 01:13:43,396
Oh, yes, James.
1541
01:13:43,463 --> 01:13:46,834
I.. Okay.
Oh, my..
1542
01:13:46,900 --> 01:13:48,167
Li.. Listen, uh, Cherry.
1543
01:13:48,234 --> 01:13:50,303
You seem really nice, but this..
1544
01:13:50,369 --> 01:13:52,773
- Rub your nipples for me.
- What?
1545
01:13:53,306 --> 01:13:55,909
No, I don't.
Look.. You know what?
1546
01:13:55,976 --> 01:13:57,276
This was fun but I'm gonna..
1547
01:13:57,343 --> 01:14:01,749
James wants to go
into the deep cave.
1548
01:14:01,815 --> 01:14:03,316
Okay, here we go.
1549
01:14:03,382 --> 01:14:06,519
Switch to his wet suit.
Yes.
1550
01:14:08,088 --> 01:14:09,422
Oh, imagine this was your face
1551
01:14:09,489 --> 01:14:11,224
and it was going
into my deep cave.
1552
01:14:11,290 --> 01:14:14,862
- Your what?
- Here he goes,
1553
01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:18,164
spelunking into my deep cavern.
1554
01:14:18,231 --> 01:14:19,800
- Oh.
- Oh, my God.
1555
01:14:19,867 --> 01:14:23,704
It's so dark in here and humid.
1556
01:14:23,771 --> 01:14:28,508
Um, listen, listen, I, I haven't
spelunked anyone but my wife in four years
1557
01:14:28,574 --> 01:14:30,878
- and I just, I think I gotta go.
- What?
1558
01:14:30,944 --> 01:14:32,345
You said you were divorced.
1559
01:14:32,411 --> 01:14:35,181
Yes. From my ex-wife.
But my new wife,
1560
01:14:35,248 --> 01:14:37,150
I mean, my,
my current wife and I..
1561
01:14:37,216 --> 01:14:39,185
- Cherry!
- . we're going..
1562
01:14:39,252 --> 01:14:41,722
Cherry! Are you in there again?
1563
01:14:42,221 --> 01:14:44,190
- Dinner's ready.
- Jeez, Grandma!
1564
01:14:44,257 --> 01:14:46,827
I'm on a frigging date!
I am not hungry.
1565
01:14:46,894 --> 01:14:49,696
Oh, I hope he's a nice boy!
1566
01:14:50,229 --> 01:14:52,265
No, Grandma, he's not.
1567
01:14:52,331 --> 01:14:54,735
He's just another liar,
like Grandpa!
1568
01:14:54,802 --> 01:14:57,738
Well, don't make a mess
in there again!
1569
01:14:58,237 --> 01:15:00,808
You know what, Grandma?
I will have that dinner.
1570
01:15:00,874 --> 01:15:02,642
I'm wasting my time here.
1571
01:15:02,876 --> 01:15:03,944
Whoa.
1572
01:15:04,978 --> 01:15:08,581
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- You're watching this?
1573
01:15:08,648 --> 01:15:10,283
Get out of here.
1574
01:15:30,570 --> 01:15:34,975
What the heck are you up to,
Samuel Gray Junior?
1575
01:15:36,877 --> 01:15:38,078
I told you I had a mission.
1576
01:15:38,611 --> 01:15:40,246
- I rented bikes.
- I see that.
1577
01:15:40,313 --> 01:15:41,480
I did.
1578
01:15:41,547 --> 01:15:42,916
And the only way
to get them back
1579
01:15:42,983 --> 01:15:45,853
is if you and I,
we ride them back to the store.
1580
01:15:46,285 --> 01:15:47,788
Yeah, if I break my wrist,
1581
01:15:47,855 --> 01:15:49,857
- I will kill you.
- You won't break your wrist.
1582
01:15:49,923 --> 01:15:53,693
- Come on. You can trust me.
- Can I?
1583
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:55,028
Ish. Trust me, ish.
1584
01:15:55,095 --> 01:15:57,230
Okay. Well, listen.
This is a helmet.
1585
01:15:57,296 --> 01:15:59,232
Okay? Safety first.
1586
01:15:59,599 --> 01:16:01,677
- No, let me clasp it. I got it. I got it.
- But my hair.
1587
01:16:01,701 --> 01:16:03,703
I know. It's okay.
It's just hair.
1588
01:16:03,770 --> 01:16:05,304
- Ow!
- What?
1589
01:16:05,371 --> 01:16:07,340
- Just kidding.
- No. Don't do that yet.
1590
01:16:07,406 --> 01:16:10,619
- I haven't even put you on a bike yet. Okay. Okay.
- It's fine. It's fine. I had to.
1591
01:16:10,643 --> 01:16:12,311
This, darling, is a bicycle.
1592
01:16:12,378 --> 01:16:14,280
- Okay.
- Okay? Okay.
1593
01:16:14,747 --> 01:16:16,725
All right. So listen,
the brake here is everything.
1594
01:16:16,749 --> 01:16:19,685
If you feel like you're losing
control, you put your feet down..
1595
01:16:20,220 --> 01:16:21,989
- . You press the brake.
- All right.
1596
01:16:22,321 --> 01:16:24,124
- Repeat.
- F.. Foot down, press the brake.
1597
01:16:24,191 --> 01:16:25,358
- Got it.
- Beautiful. Okay.
1598
01:16:25,691 --> 01:16:27,260
- Foot on pedal.
- Okay.
1599
01:16:27,660 --> 01:16:30,030
- Come on, you can do this. Okay?
- Okay. All right. Mm-hmm.
1600
01:16:30,097 --> 01:16:31,899
- All right. I'm gonna count.
- Okay.
1601
01:16:31,965 --> 01:16:33,766
- One.
- Two.
1602
01:16:34,234 --> 01:16:35,501
Go.
1603
01:16:35,903 --> 01:16:37,379
- I got scared. Sorry.
- But you have to let go
1604
01:16:37,403 --> 01:16:38,872
- of the brake.
- All right.
1605
01:16:39,206 --> 01:16:40,740
- You got this. Okay?
- All right.
1606
01:16:40,807 --> 01:16:41,909
- Yeah.
- All right.
1607
01:16:42,408 --> 01:16:43,619
- I'm gonna push now.
- All right.
1608
01:16:43,643 --> 01:16:45,112
All right. Go.
1609
01:16:45,578 --> 01:16:47,256
- Oh, my God. You're doing it.
- Oh, my God.
1610
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:49,025
- Ah! Oh, my God.
- You got this, Alexis. Straight. No, no, no.
1611
01:16:49,049 --> 01:16:50,927
Straight, straight, straight.
Straight, straight.
1612
01:16:50,951 --> 01:16:52,785
Remember what I said.
You got this, okay?
1613
01:16:52,853 --> 01:16:54,121
- Oh, my God.
- Yep?
1614
01:16:54,187 --> 01:16:55,721
- I'm doing it.
- Yes.
1615
01:16:55,788 --> 01:16:57,456
Yes. It's like drinking
1616
01:16:57,523 --> 01:16:58,892
- a Coca-Cola. Right?
- Wait.
1617
01:16:58,959 --> 01:17:00,760
- Oh, my God, I'm doing it.
- Yeah, you are.
1618
01:17:00,827 --> 01:17:02,304
- I'm doing it.
- I'm right here watching.
1619
01:17:02,328 --> 01:17:03,672
I'm right here watching.
Look at that.
1620
01:17:03,696 --> 01:17:05,296
- Are you holding me?
- No, no, no. Yeah.
1621
01:17:05,364 --> 01:17:06,575
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, no, I'm holding you.
1622
01:17:06,599 --> 01:17:08,035
- Wait, wait.
- No, I'm holding you.
1623
01:17:08,101 --> 01:17:09,036
I'm not holding you!
1624
01:17:09,102 --> 01:17:10,003
I'm not holding you.
1625
01:17:10,070 --> 01:17:11,404
Yes! You're doing it.
1626
01:17:11,470 --> 01:17:13,406
Oh, my..
That was fucking great.
1627
01:17:13,472 --> 01:17:14,875
Are you okay, Alexis?
1628
01:17:14,942 --> 01:17:16,276
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's fine.
1629
01:17:16,342 --> 01:17:17,945
A bush in your face
never hurt, huh?
1630
01:17:18,011 --> 01:17:20,813
- I hate bushes in my face.
- I know you do.
1631
01:17:25,484 --> 01:17:26,686
You got this.
1632
01:17:27,154 --> 01:17:28,394
Remember what I told you, okay?
1633
01:17:28,621 --> 01:17:31,158
- Ah, ah.
- Oh!
1634
01:17:34,427 --> 01:17:36,395
You know, you're
actually a pretty good teacher.
1635
01:17:38,231 --> 01:17:39,765
Uh, I'm actually a better rider.
1636
01:17:40,333 --> 01:17:42,401
Yeah. Let me show you
some tricks.
1637
01:17:44,337 --> 01:17:45,438
Hey, Allie, you rolling?
1638
01:17:45,504 --> 01:17:47,840
Yeah, I got.. I got you, okay.
1639
01:17:47,908 --> 01:17:49,408
Watch this.
1640
01:17:58,551 --> 01:18:00,287
- Oh.
- I'm okay.
1641
01:18:00,353 --> 01:18:01,888
- Okay.
- Keep rolling.
1642
01:18:01,955 --> 01:18:03,656
All right, I'm rolling..
1643
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:08,794
Oh.
1644
01:18:08,861 --> 01:18:09,930
S.. Samuel, uh..
1645
01:18:12,232 --> 01:18:13,333
I think you're bleeding.
1646
01:18:13,399 --> 01:18:14,901
No, I'm not bleeding.
1647
01:18:15,335 --> 01:18:16,602
Oh, shoot. I'm bleeding.
1648
01:18:16,669 --> 01:18:17,837
But I'm okay. No, no, no.
1649
01:18:17,904 --> 01:18:19,872
I have just one move
I wanna show you.
1650
01:18:20,539 --> 01:18:22,175
Keep rolling the camera, Allie.
1651
01:18:22,508 --> 01:18:24,211
- Keep rolling the camera.
- Oh.
1652
01:18:24,277 --> 01:18:25,878
O.. Okay. Yeah.
1653
01:18:33,353 --> 01:18:35,654
- Oh, God.
- Ah, ah.
1654
01:18:36,522 --> 01:18:38,557
- You okay?
- Oh, oh.
1655
01:18:40,559 --> 01:18:42,762
I'm good.
1656
01:18:47,234 --> 01:18:49,402
I'm good. I'm good.
1657
01:18:50,003 --> 01:18:51,837
Oh. Oh.
1658
01:18:54,107 --> 01:18:55,574
Stupid bike.
1659
01:19:00,180 --> 01:19:01,414
Bike reading.
1660
01:19:11,557 --> 01:19:13,793
♪ We know we know ♪
1661
01:19:14,460 --> 01:19:16,762
♪ Our world will change ♪
1662
01:19:16,829 --> 01:19:19,332
♪ Fork in the road ♪
1663
01:19:25,504 --> 01:19:28,108
You know,
being sad makes you frown,
1664
01:19:28,175 --> 01:19:29,809
and frowning gives you wrinkles.
1665
01:19:30,676 --> 01:19:32,245
Better.
1666
01:19:32,312 --> 01:19:34,247
I'm sorry your job
got cut short.
1667
01:19:34,314 --> 01:19:36,482
Yeah. Samuel
not only got a concussion,
1668
01:19:36,549 --> 01:19:39,252
a broken tooth,
but he also fractured his leg
1669
01:19:39,319 --> 01:19:40,420
and his coccyx bone.
1670
01:19:40,486 --> 01:19:43,056
- You broke the boy's dick?
- No.
1671
01:19:43,123 --> 01:19:45,092
His butt bone.
1672
01:19:45,558 --> 01:19:48,395
He's such a show-off.
I had forgotten about that.
1673
01:19:48,461 --> 01:19:50,830
I was so distracted
by his blue eyes,
1674
01:19:50,896 --> 01:19:54,034
- I forgot how self-centered he is.
- -Wrinkles.
1675
01:19:57,003 --> 01:19:58,871
If Marco and I
split permanently,
1676
01:19:58,938 --> 01:20:01,540
I'm gonna have to tell Emma
I'm gonna get another divorce.
1677
01:20:01,607 --> 01:20:04,543
You know you don't really want
to divorce Marco, baby,
1678
01:20:04,844 --> 01:20:07,580
but your ego
is getting in the way.
1679
01:20:08,115 --> 01:20:11,351
- Why don't you tell me how you really feel?
- You don't honestly believe
1680
01:20:11,418 --> 01:20:14,121
Miss I Showed Everyone
My Titties At Lunch
1681
01:20:14,187 --> 01:20:15,455
was really Marco's fault?
1682
01:20:15,855 --> 01:20:18,158
That bitch puts fucks
before friends.
1683
01:20:18,624 --> 01:20:20,860
And he's successful,
loyal, and sort of good-looking.
1684
01:20:20,926 --> 01:20:23,562
Shit, your post
put out the bat signal
1685
01:20:23,629 --> 01:20:25,865
for all them bitches.
1686
01:20:25,931 --> 01:20:27,700
Why didn't you tell me
this a month ago?
1687
01:20:27,766 --> 01:20:29,169
Would you have listened?
1688
01:20:30,002 --> 01:20:31,003
You weren't ready.
1689
01:20:31,404 --> 01:20:33,240
And I really wanted you
to take the job.
1690
01:20:33,606 --> 01:20:35,975
I knew you and Marco
would be okay.
1691
01:20:42,282 --> 01:20:43,516
Marco will forgive you, baby.
1692
01:20:43,983 --> 01:20:46,018
You'll think of something.
1693
01:20:53,426 --> 01:20:55,027
Hey, give me
another bottle, ladies.
1694
01:20:55,095 --> 01:20:57,563
I know what we're
trying to do here.
1695
01:21:00,167 --> 01:21:01,234
Okay.
1696
01:21:02,269 --> 01:21:03,536
I deserve that.
1697
01:21:05,272 --> 01:21:09,742
Tracey accidentally included me on
the group text for the nail party.
1698
01:21:10,543 --> 01:21:13,779
I came here
to apologize for lying
1699
01:21:13,846 --> 01:21:16,916
and posting that Marco and I
were divorcing.
1700
01:21:17,484 --> 01:21:20,019
I was really sad, Alexis.
1701
01:21:20,086 --> 01:21:22,289
I ate a pint of ice cream
every night
1702
01:21:22,355 --> 01:21:25,057
and gained, like, ten pounds.
1703
01:21:25,125 --> 01:21:27,127
It's okay.
You still look great.
1704
01:21:27,194 --> 01:21:28,794
I'm so sorry.
1705
01:21:30,363 --> 01:21:32,031
You all may not know this, but..
1706
01:21:32,731 --> 01:21:33,566
I have trust issues.
1707
01:21:33,632 --> 01:21:35,235
We know.
1708
01:21:35,568 --> 01:21:38,037
Oh. Okay.
1709
01:21:38,671 --> 01:21:40,606
Look.
1710
01:21:40,673 --> 01:21:42,875
I'm on my second marriage.
All right?
1711
01:21:43,343 --> 01:21:45,644
And I'm fucking up big time.
1712
01:21:45,711 --> 01:21:47,746
I'm making
all the same mistakes.
1713
01:21:48,481 --> 01:21:50,217
And now I've pushed
you all away.
1714
01:21:51,484 --> 01:21:52,851
I'm really sorry.
1715
01:21:54,187 --> 01:21:56,055
Can you please forgive me?
1716
01:21:58,724 --> 01:22:00,659
Of course we can forgive you.
1717
01:22:03,296 --> 01:22:05,198
I'm sorry too.
1718
01:22:06,065 --> 01:22:08,235
I mean, we've all acted
a little crazy
1719
01:22:08,301 --> 01:22:09,369
at some point or another.
1720
01:22:09,436 --> 01:22:10,736
- Right.
- Yeah.
1721
01:22:10,803 --> 01:22:12,405
Yeah.
1722
01:22:12,472 --> 01:22:13,472
We heard about Debby.
1723
01:22:13,706 --> 01:22:16,108
And we all unfriended
that bitch.
1724
01:22:16,176 --> 01:22:17,910
- Yes.
- Oh yeah.
1725
01:22:18,345 --> 01:22:19,379
My girls.
1726
01:22:23,048 --> 01:22:24,048
Ladies..
1727
01:22:24,783 --> 01:22:26,486
I need your help with something.
1728
01:22:26,785 --> 01:22:28,954
- Hmm.
- But first..
1729
01:22:29,622 --> 01:22:30,723
. Let's get fucked up.
1730
01:22:32,592 --> 01:22:35,661
- Cheers.
- I missed you bitches so much.
1731
01:22:38,130 --> 01:22:39,732
- Come on.
- This is just what you need
1732
01:22:39,798 --> 01:22:41,700
to get your mind off things.
You'll see.
1733
01:22:42,134 --> 01:22:46,038
The bumping music,
the sexy bodies, the libations.
1734
01:22:46,105 --> 01:22:47,749
- It's my element.
- I thought your element
1735
01:22:47,773 --> 01:22:49,385
was more the, uh,
tomato sauce and cheese vibe.
1736
01:22:49,409 --> 01:22:53,145
- I am a man of many tastes.
- -Hmm.
1737
01:22:54,980 --> 01:22:57,850
Marco, when you walk
through that curtain..
1738
01:22:58,551 --> 01:23:00,353
Your life
will effectively change.
1739
01:23:00,420 --> 01:23:04,890
All of your dreams
are about to come true.
1740
01:23:08,528 --> 01:23:10,530
Damn, didn't work.
I'm still here.
1741
01:23:10,597 --> 01:23:12,765
Cute. Come on.
1742
01:23:19,905 --> 01:23:22,941
Guys, nobody's here.
1743
01:23:24,009 --> 01:23:25,844
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, no.
1744
01:23:25,911 --> 01:23:28,315
This is not one of your online
dating scheme disasters.
1745
01:23:28,381 --> 01:23:30,692
- I.. I can't be put through that again, guys.
- No, no, no.
1746
01:23:30,716 --> 01:23:33,620
No, I'm not.. I don't wanna
do that again. Please!
1747
01:23:41,227 --> 01:23:46,533
Welcome to
Alexis' Lingerie Fashion show.
1748
01:23:46,599 --> 01:23:49,702
Marco, will you please..
1749
01:23:50,836 --> 01:23:52,439
Take your seat?
1750
01:23:54,274 --> 01:23:55,274
Okay.
1751
01:23:56,208 --> 01:23:58,244
How long did you guys
know about this?
1752
01:23:58,311 --> 01:23:59,712
- Mm-hmm.
- Huh?
1753
01:24:01,581 --> 01:24:03,550
The most important job
a friend has..
1754
01:24:03,616 --> 01:24:05,017
Is helping out his homie.
1755
01:24:05,618 --> 01:24:08,621
- Wow.
- The first out tonight
1756
01:24:08,688 --> 01:24:12,392
is Tina La Cochina.
1757
01:24:12,459 --> 01:24:13,393
Whoo!
1758
01:24:13,460 --> 01:24:14,527
Oh, Jesus.
1759
01:24:14,594 --> 01:24:16,296
No need to worry, Marco.
1760
01:24:16,363 --> 01:24:18,063
Alexis has invited Tina.
1761
01:24:18,130 --> 01:24:21,468
Your bride wants you to know
that she knows
1762
01:24:21,534 --> 01:24:23,902
that temptation is everywhere,
1763
01:24:23,969 --> 01:24:26,673
but she trusts you.
1764
01:24:26,739 --> 01:24:28,575
Hi, Marco.
1765
01:24:28,641 --> 01:24:30,610
Hi, Tina.
1766
01:24:30,677 --> 01:24:33,178
- Oh, whoa.
- Miss Tina is wearing
1767
01:24:33,245 --> 01:24:35,515
the trashiest thing
in her closet,
1768
01:24:35,582 --> 01:24:38,117
provided for her
by her last conquest
1769
01:24:38,183 --> 01:24:40,420
before he dumped her
for the nanny.
1770
01:24:40,919 --> 01:24:43,155
Fuck you,
baby daddy number three.
1771
01:24:43,222 --> 01:24:46,158
Tina. All right.
1772
01:24:46,825 --> 01:24:50,129
- Whoo!
- And here we have Julia.
1773
01:24:50,195 --> 01:24:53,666
She chose this piece
because it's the lingerie
1774
01:24:53,733 --> 01:24:56,168
her soon-to-be ex-husband
1775
01:24:56,235 --> 01:24:59,539
provided for the woman
with whom he's cheating.
1776
01:24:59,606 --> 01:25:01,307
She slashed it
with a box cutter,
1777
01:25:01,374 --> 01:25:04,444
but she lost so much weight
from the affair,
1778
01:25:04,511 --> 01:25:07,079
she fits into it now.
1779
01:25:07,647 --> 01:25:09,047
Why let it go to waste?
1780
01:25:09,482 --> 01:25:11,016
- Hi, Bob.
- Looking hot, baby.
1781
01:25:11,083 --> 01:25:13,353
- Yeah.
- Yes!
1782
01:25:14,654 --> 01:25:16,589
And we have Estanley.
1783
01:25:16,656 --> 01:25:19,124
Oh, Estanley is here
to remind us
1784
01:25:19,191 --> 01:25:23,996
that all shapes and sizes
can be sexy.
1785
01:25:24,531 --> 01:25:25,964
Just add a little confidence
1786
01:25:26,031 --> 01:25:28,535
and even you can pull
this outfit off.
1787
01:25:31,170 --> 01:25:32,905
All right. Okay.
Enough, Estanley.
1788
01:25:32,971 --> 01:25:35,742
- Enough.
- Yeah. Go, Estanley.
1789
01:25:37,242 --> 01:25:40,045
Are you a dirty boy, Estanley?
1790
01:25:40,112 --> 01:25:41,714
Yes, I am.
1791
01:25:41,781 --> 01:25:44,016
- Do you..
- She completes me.
1792
01:25:44,082 --> 01:25:45,785
Are you c..
1793
01:25:48,721 --> 01:25:50,122
Bob, that's the one..
1794
01:25:50,189 --> 01:25:52,459
- Yeah.
- The one.. Oh, Jesus.
1795
01:25:52,525 --> 01:25:55,428
Here we have Miss Beach,
1796
01:25:55,495 --> 01:25:57,896
who is a school teacher by day
1797
01:25:57,963 --> 01:26:01,468
- and a naughty girl by night.
- Yes.
1798
01:26:01,534 --> 01:26:04,036
Oh.
1799
01:26:04,771 --> 01:26:07,272
I teach the hardest lessons
after school.
1800
01:26:07,339 --> 01:26:10,175
I bet you do, Barbie.
I bet you do.
1801
01:26:10,242 --> 01:26:12,845
I got a hard lesson for you.
1802
01:26:13,212 --> 01:26:16,382
Next we have Natalie and Tracey.
1803
01:26:16,449 --> 01:26:21,119
Remember, Marco, you can look,
but you can't touch.
1804
01:26:21,186 --> 01:26:26,024
You should only be dipping your
biscotti into Alexis's coffee.
1805
01:26:26,091 --> 01:26:27,827
- Oh, my biscotti.
- Yeah.
1806
01:26:27,893 --> 01:26:29,895
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
1807
01:26:30,329 --> 01:26:32,765
- Hi, Marco.
- Oh, hi, how are you?
1808
01:26:32,832 --> 01:26:34,867
- Ooh. Biscotti.
- Tracey.
1809
01:26:34,933 --> 01:26:35,933
- Oh.
- Okay.
1810
01:26:38,505 --> 01:26:43,242
And now the moment
you've all been waiting for.
1811
01:26:43,308 --> 01:26:44,910
I present to you
1812
01:26:44,977 --> 01:26:50,550
Mrs. Alexis Laguna.
1813
01:26:58,825 --> 01:26:59,825
Baby
1814
01:27:00,259 --> 01:27:02,762
Baby, baby, baby.
1815
01:27:31,323 --> 01:27:35,127
I've missed you so much.
1816
01:27:35,193 --> 01:27:38,230
I missed you, too.
I missed you, too.
1817
01:27:38,297 --> 01:27:39,699
Oh, my God.
1818
01:27:46,539 --> 01:27:47,740
Who gave those to you?
1819
01:27:47,807 --> 01:27:50,275
Who gave them to you?
Bob, did you..
1820
01:27:51,744 --> 01:27:52,744
Get over here.
1821
01:28:04,156 --> 01:28:07,392
- I'm sorry. I acted like an idiot.
- You did.
1822
01:28:08,160 --> 01:28:10,496
And I love you for it.
1823
01:28:11,263 --> 01:28:15,133
Baby, divorce brought you to me
and me to you.
1824
01:28:15,768 --> 01:28:17,135
No matter what shit
comes our way,
1825
01:28:17,202 --> 01:28:19,739
I wanna work
through it with you.
1826
01:28:22,040 --> 01:28:23,610
I'm not good at that.
1827
01:28:24,042 --> 01:28:25,210
I know.
1828
01:28:26,144 --> 01:28:30,449
And sometimes my insecurities
get the best of me.
1829
01:28:30,516 --> 01:28:31,584
Oh.
1830
01:28:31,884 --> 01:28:33,218
I know that too.
1831
01:28:34,654 --> 01:28:36,088
I wanted to show you that
1832
01:28:36,522 --> 01:28:40,125
-temptation will always be around.
- Mm-hmm.
1833
01:28:41,059 --> 01:28:44,731
But I've realized that
if I want to stay married..
1834
01:28:45,464 --> 01:28:47,734
It's got to be
about our relationship.
1835
01:28:49,636 --> 01:28:51,169
I trust you..
1836
01:28:52,337 --> 01:28:55,173
And you make me happy.
1837
01:28:57,275 --> 01:28:58,711
Do I make you happy?
1838
01:28:59,011 --> 01:29:00,479
Absolutely.
1839
01:29:01,848 --> 01:29:03,683
You're crazy. You know that?
1840
01:29:03,750 --> 01:29:05,117
Oh yeah.
1841
01:29:05,183 --> 01:29:06,819
But I prefer your brand
1842
01:29:06,886 --> 01:29:09,555
of crazy over anybody else's.
1843
01:29:10,990 --> 01:29:12,592
I choose you.
1844
01:29:21,768 --> 01:29:22,635
One more thing.
1845
01:29:22,702 --> 01:29:23,770
What?
1846
01:29:26,071 --> 01:29:27,339
Champagne.
1847
01:29:31,410 --> 01:29:33,980
I'm so happy
you two are back together.
1848
01:29:34,479 --> 01:29:37,349
- Champagne, sir.
- Thank you.
1849
01:29:37,784 --> 01:29:39,418
And a grape juice for you.
1850
01:29:39,484 --> 01:29:41,888
Thank you.
1851
01:29:41,954 --> 01:29:43,321
Grape juice, baby?
1852
01:29:44,657 --> 01:29:48,093
I won't be drinking
for the next seven months.
1853
01:29:49,194 --> 01:29:51,496
Why.. Why is.. Why?
1854
01:29:53,198 --> 01:29:54,634
Are you.. D..
1855
01:29:55,233 --> 01:29:56,568
Are we pregnant?
1856
01:29:57,003 --> 01:29:58,070
Oh, my God, baby.
1857
01:30:07,747 --> 01:30:09,581
We're having a baby!
1858
01:30:09,649 --> 01:30:10,783
What?
1859
01:30:11,450 --> 01:30:13,518
Oh, my God!
1860
01:30:14,119 --> 01:30:15,554
Hey, hey!
1861
01:30:17,489 --> 01:30:19,491
Can you believe this?
1862
01:30:20,927 --> 01:30:22,461
This is amazing.
1863
01:30:22,527 --> 01:30:23,763
This is amazing.
1864
01:30:32,237 --> 01:30:34,506
Yeah!
1865
01:30:39,277 --> 01:30:42,280
- Hell yeah.
- Check them out.
1866
01:31:39,504 --> 01:31:41,741
Well, you know,
I figure, A, a divorced man
1867
01:31:41,808 --> 01:31:43,976
has already gotten
all of his cheating out of him
1868
01:31:44,043 --> 01:31:45,812
and, B, I don't want kids.
1869
01:31:45,878 --> 01:31:48,547
I saw what they did
to my mom's vagina.
1870
01:31:48,613 --> 01:31:52,051
- Ugh.
- How did you kn..
1871
01:31:52,118 --> 01:31:54,120
No, I'm not gonna be
touching that one.
1872
01:31:54,186 --> 01:31:55,888
Yeah. Neither did my dad.
1873
01:31:55,955 --> 01:31:57,556
That's why he cheated.
1874
01:31:59,291 --> 01:32:01,828
Oh, you like cars, huh?
1875
01:32:02,161 --> 01:32:03,162
Yeah, sure.
1876
01:32:03,662 --> 01:32:06,698
Do you prefer
a straight-six or a V8?
1877
01:32:07,099 --> 01:32:10,136
Oh, I'm kind of allergic
to tomato juice.
1878
01:32:10,202 --> 01:32:12,805
- All natural here.
- What? Bravo.
1879
01:32:12,872 --> 01:32:14,439
Wait. Do you want to touch them?
1880
01:32:14,774 --> 01:32:15,842
- I would.
- Okay.
1881
01:32:15,908 --> 01:32:16,976
Okay.
1882
01:32:18,476 --> 01:32:20,378
I think they are real.
1883
01:32:20,445 --> 01:32:21,857
- They're very real.
- Is the other one real?
1884
01:32:21,881 --> 01:32:23,041
No, just.. just the left one
1885
01:32:23,082 --> 01:32:24,349
- actually.
- Hey.
1886
01:32:24,416 --> 01:32:25,785
Let's go somewhere else. This..
1887
01:32:25,852 --> 01:32:27,352
I, I wanna get a tea bag.
1888
01:32:27,753 --> 01:32:29,387
- I'm sure you do.
- Hey, you get it?
1889
01:32:29,922 --> 01:32:31,632
- Don't.. Don't listen to him. Come on.
- A tea bag, bro.
1890
01:32:31,656 --> 01:32:33,159
- Come on.
- You get it, right?
1891
01:32:33,225 --> 01:32:34,626
- Tea bag.
- Stop.
1892
01:32:34,693 --> 01:32:36,261
Tea bag. You guys know
what I'm saying.
1893
01:32:36,328 --> 01:32:38,097
- Right?
- What are you? Two? Come on.
1894
01:32:38,164 --> 01:32:39,966
Tea bag. He gets it.
1895
01:32:40,032 --> 01:32:41,533
Please let me be called.
1896
01:32:41,868 --> 01:32:45,204
I hate being called last like
in fucking sports my whole life.
1897
01:32:45,570 --> 01:32:47,472
Being the chubby kid
in gym class,
1898
01:32:47,974 --> 01:32:49,541
the chubby kid at softball.
1899
01:32:49,942 --> 01:32:50,942
I hated that.
1899
01:32:51,305 --> 01:33:51,880
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