Original subtitles

♪

(woman) ♪ WHAT IS THIS THING ♪

♪ CALLED LOVE? ♪

♪ THIS FUNNY THING ♪

♪ CALLED LOVE ♪

♪ JUST WHO CAN SOLVE ♪

♪ ITS MYSTERY? ♪

♪ WHY SHOULD IT MAKE ♪

♪ A FOOL OF ME? ♪

♪ I SAW YOU THERE ♪

♪ THAT WONDERFUL DAY ♪

♪ YOU TOOK MY LOVE ♪

♪ AND THREW IT AWAY ♪

♪ AND SO I ASK THE LORD ♪

♪ IN HEAVEN ABOVE ♪

♪ WHAT IS THIS THING ♪

♪ CALLED LOVE? ♪

♪ CALLED LOVE ♪

(both grunting and moaning)

OH, GOD! OH!

(both grunting and moaning)

OH! (panting)

(grunts and moans)

(gasping and moaning)

(grunting)

OH! OH.

(both moaning)

OH! AHH!

OH, GOD. OH. (laughs)

(both moaning)

(moaning continues)

AH! AH. AH.

(gasps) YEAH.

(moans) AHH.

AH! OH, MY G-- (moans)

AH! OH. AH.

(grunts)

(pants) (moans)

(gasps and squeals) UNH.

OH... GOD. OHH. OH.

(both panting)

GOD.

WOW. YEAH.

I MEAN... YES.

DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS.

AMEN. (laughs) (chuckles)

THAT THING YOU DID... OH, I KNOW.

I MEAN, YOU HAVE TO DO IT, LIKE, EVERY TIME NOW.

(laughs) DEAL. (laughs)

(pants)

OH. OHH.

LET'S HAVE PANCAKES.

OH, I GOTTA GO.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GO.

WELL, THE ADULT WORLD BECKONS.

IS THAT WHAT IT IS?

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

(pants) IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

I MEAN, WE JUST DID THIS AMAZING... THING.

WHAT ABOUT WHAT WE JUST DID?

(laughs)

(chuckles) WELL, YEAH, THAT WAS THEN. (clears throat)

THAT WAS A MINUTE AGO.

WELL, I LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

WELL, YOU LIVE IN THE MOMENT THAT MUCH,

THAT'S NOT REALLY LIVING.

THAT'S JUST MOVING FROM ONE EXPERIENCE TO ANOTHER

IN AN EMPTY, RANDOM PATTERN.

THE WAY I FIND MEANING IN MY LIFE IS MY BUSINESS.

YOU OBVIOUSLY FIND YOURS WITH YOUR FIANCEE.

WHAT ARE YOU... TRYING TO SAY?

(chuckles) THE QUESTION IS,

IS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SO YOU WANT ME TO JUST, WHAT, DROP HER?

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

SO ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY HER?

I DON'T KNOW.

(sighs)

I DIDN'T ANTICIPATE MEETING YOU, LIZ.

YOU KNOW...

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE WOMAN.

NEVER THE OTHER WOMAN.

OH, HEY, YOU ARE...

SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

YEAH.

WELL, I AM TIRED OF TASTING JOCELYN ON YOU.

WELL, I GUESS PANCAKES ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION?

HAVE JOCELYN MAKE THEM FOR YOU.

I'M DONE.

(groans)

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DROP THIS,

BEFORE THE NEXT THING ONE OF US SAYS IS "FUCK YOU."

YEAH, BECAUSE I'D HATE IT IF YOU DID,

'CAUSE I'M DYING TO.

I'M DONE.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. YOU...

WALK OUT, LIZ, IT'S NOT TEMPORARY.

WITH YOU AND ME, MICHAEL, EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.

I'M NOT KIDDING. LIZ, IF YOU WALK, DON'T CALL.

THE PHONE THAT WON'T BE RINGING?

(whispers) THAT WILL BE ME.

(clanking sound)

(clicks tongue) AHH.

AHH.

(clanking sound)

(speaks indistinctly)

AHH. YELLO.

WELL, GOOD MORNING, MICHAEL.

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT ONE.

OH, I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW GREAT.

HEY, CAPPUCCINOS FOR THE FLOOR, ON ME!

HEY. HOW'S YOUR MORNING?

FUCKIN' GREAT.

YOU OKAY?

(scoffs) NEVER BETTER.

HOW'S MICHAEL?

WHO?

LOOKING GOOD, LIZ.

MUST BE GETTING IT REGULAR.

(clears throat) THE HOUSE IS ROCKING.

REALLY?

YEAH.

I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

I HAVE YOUR NUMBER.

I GOT YOURS, TOO.

(chuckles)

(sighs)

LET'S RIDE.

(clanking sound)

MOVE, ASSHOLE. (grunts)

OH!

NO, REALLY. I DIDN'T NEED A DRY SHIRT.

SORRY.

LOOK AT THIS JERK.

IS HE A FUCKING SNAIL?

HEY, SNAIL BOY.

CAN YOU MOVE ANY SLOWER?

(chuckles) SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF THE CITIZENS OF LOS ANGELES,

WOULD YOU FUCKING CHILL?

(sighs) OKAY, FINE.

(radio clanking)

I GOT YOU. I GOT YOU. WE'RE GOOD. (exhales)

(clanking sound)

(tapping)

SO...

HOW'S THE CAPPUCCINO?

EXCUSE ME. I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE HERE.

OKAY? ARE WE--ARE WE

REVIEWING THIS CONTRACT YOU DREW UP OR ARE WE CHATTING?

MEA CULPA.

PERHAPS I SHOULD COME BACK.

OKAY. LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE, LUTHER.

THIS CONTRACT YOU DREW UP IS A CAR WRECK.

A CAR WRECK? WELL, THAT'S A BRUTAL IMAGE.

BODIES, BLOOD, TOW TRUCKS.

I-I MEAN "CAR WRECK."

A TURN OF PHRASE, I ASSUME. A METAPHOR?

A-A METAPHOR? WHAT, ARE YOU CAMUS?

MICHAEL, STEP AWAY FROM THE COFFEE CUP RIGHT NOW.

YOU'VE GONE MAD.

MAD, REALLY? (laughs)

MAD? BECAUSE MAYBE--

MAYBE I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS IT.

MAYBE EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST OUT OF SYNC.

SURE. THAT MAKES SENSE.

DON'T PATRONIZE ME. MICHAEL, I AM ON YOUR SIDE.

THOUGH RABID, NOT YOURSELF,

AND UNDER THE CONTROL OF CAFFEINE,

I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

HAPPY?

(laughs)

OH. OH. HAPPY?

HAPPY? I-I MEAN, WHO'S REALLY HAPPY?

YOU KNOW, ARE YOU HAPPY, LUTHER?

ENDLESSLY.

I'M A DASHING SPECIMEN AND I GET LAID 20 TIMES PER WEEK.

I AM--I AM NOT-- I AM NOT HAPPY.

AND I NEED SOME FUCKING AIR.

WAIT, MICHAEL.

I FORGOT 2. IT'S ACTUALLY 22...

(clears throat)

TIMES PER WEEK.

22.

(clanking sound)

WE ARE WORLDS APART IS ALL I'M SAYING.

YOU HAVE BEEN SINCE THE BEGINNING.

WELL, THAT WAS THEN.

THE BEGINNING ALWAYS IS.

THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE BEGINNING.

WELL, I'VE HAD IT.

NO MORE. OVER AND OUT.

THAT SOUNDS REALLY FINAL.

IT IS. WE'RE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

EVERYBODY IS.

YEAH, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. IT'S NOT LIKE IN YOUR STORY--

IT'S NOT DIFFERENT-- NO, IT'S NOT DIFFERENT. IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING...

IT IS NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL. EVERY TIME YOU KEEP DOING IT.

(clanking sound)

SO YOU APOLOGIZE TO HER?

ONCE. GOOD.

A MAN SHOULD APOLOGIZE ONCE.

MAYBE THAT'S TOO MUCH.

(laughs) WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED SEVEN TIMES.

(chuckles) EXACTLY.

YOU'RE THE LOVE GENIUS.

WANT MY ADVICE? TWO WORDS--GET LAID.

LET LITTLE MIKEY RUN THE SHOW,

'CAUSE BIG MIKEY'S GRIM AND OUT OF SORTS.

I AM NOT OUT OF SORTS.

I AM--I AM IN SORTS.

WORD ASSOCIATION. READY?

AH, I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THIS.

GIANT. CORPORATE MERGER.

(laughs)

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS SALAMI OR KNOCKERS.

THIS IS WORD ASSOCIATION. THERE'S NO CORRECT ANSWER.

BULLSHIT.

ALL RIGHT, TEPID START, BUT WE'LL TRY AGAIN.

LIZ. OVER.

YOU PLAY HARD.

HER FAULT. I'M THE GOOD GUY IN THIS.

IF YOU SAY SO.

HAPPINESS.

FRAUD. BLOW JOB.

I GOT NOTHIN' FOR THAT.

ME NEITHER. I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IT. (laughs)

(laughs) OKAY, ONE MORE.

OH. ALONE.

AGAIN.

SO HOW DID I DO?

YOU KILLED, SON.

YEAH.

(clanking sound)

♪

REMEMBER, LITTLE BABY ROLLS.

LITTLE BABY ROLLS, AND SLOW.

SLOW IS SEXY.

YES. OH, GORGEOUS.

♪

ALL RIGHT. WORK IT OUT.

WORK IT OUT. REMEMBER TO BREATHE.

(inhales deeply)

OH, BEAUTIFUL.

♪

BREAK IT DOWN. BREAK IT DOWN.

KICK IT UP.

YEAH.

♪

SLOW. YES.

OKAY. ALL THE WAY DOWN.

OTHER ARM. SEXY FACE.

DOWN.

PERFECT. OH, LIZ.

THAT WAS AMAZING.

YEAH?

YEAH. YOU'RE MY BEST STUDENT.

YOU COULD DO THIS PROFESSIONALLY.

(pants and laughs) (laughs)

(panting) THIS WAS A LONG ONE, NORA.

OH. MY MUSCLES ARE KILLING ME.

MM.

BROUGHT MY MASSAGE TABLE. YEAH?

HOW ABOUT YOUR BEDROOM?

COOL.

(pants)

WHOA.

(both grunting)

JESUS CHRIST, MAN! SORRY. SORRY, MAN.

WHAT THE FUCK? WHOA, WHOA. YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

YOU RAN INTO ME, ASSHOLE.

YES, I DID, AND FOR THAT, I APOLOGIZE.

BUT DO WE REALLY NEED THE PROVOCATIVE LANGUAGE?

WHAT ARE YOU, A THEOLOGY STUDENT?

NO, THAT'S A CLICHE, MAN.

I JUST DON'T LIKE SWEAR WORDS.

I'M ANDREAS. COME ON, MAN.

LET ME JUST--LET ME GET YOU A CUP OF TEA OR SOMETHING.

WHOA. IS THIS A GAY COME ON?

NO, MAN. THAT'S ANOTHER CLICHE.

YOU HAVE A VERY CLOSED MIND.

YEAH, IT'S BEEN POINTED OUT TO ME.

(indistinct conversations)

(Liz) OH.

YOU HAVE AN AMAZING TOUCH.

YOU'RE TENSE. WHAT'S GOING ON?

MICHAEL.

MM-HMM.

WE'RE JUST...

OH, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I BEEN THERE, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

IT'S JUST, THE SEX IS AMAZING. MM-HMM.

I MEAN, THE DEEPEST, LONGEST ORGASMS I'VE EVER HAD.

OH, I'M GONNA MISS THOSE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO. (laughs) PLEASE DON'T COME ON TO ME.

I LIKE YOU.

(chuckles) I'M NOT COMING ON TO YOU.

OKAY? I JUST WANT TO HELP.

YOUR FIRST CHAKRA'S BLOCKED.

MY W-WHAT?

CHAKRA.

THEY'RE ENERGY CENTERS. THEY NEED TO BE BALANCED.

MM. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I'LL SHOW YOU.

OKAY.

(Andreas) YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK.

WELL, MAYBE NOT TO LIZ, BUT TO SOMEONE, SOMETIME.

WHY?

FOR ALL THE REASONS MEN WANT TO BE WITH WOMEN.

WHAT ARE THEY?

YOU PUTTIN' ME ON?

NO. I'M A CELIBATE.

I'VE NEVER BEEN WITH A WOMAN.

THAT'S MY CHOICE.

WHAT'S THAT LIKE?

PEACEFUL.

(inhales deeply)

GAZE INTO MY EYES

AND KNOW THAT I TOUCH YOU NOT TO CREATE AROUSAL...

(sighs)

BUT FROM AN INTENTION OF JOY

AND WONDER.

(inhales)

THE RITUAL IS ANCIENT AND BEAUTIFUL

AND WILL ALLOW YOUR DEEPEST ENERGIES

A PROFOUND SURRENDER.

(inhales deeply)

BREATHE DEEPLY AND THINK OF EARTH,

AIR, WATER,

AND FIRE

AS I GENTLY TOUCH YOU.

EARTH... (exhales)

IS THE GROUNDING TOUCH.

(inhales)

AIR IS SOFT AND LIGHT.

WATER IS FLOWING AND EMOTIONAL.

(inhales deeply)

AND FIRE IS PASSION.

(inhales deeply)

LET YOUR RESISTANCE FALL AWAY

AS I SLOWLY TOUCH YOUR SACRED SPOT.

(moans) (inhales)

AND KNOW THAT THE SEED OF YOUR GODDESS ENERGY

IS IN YOUR HEART.

(exhales)

FEEL MY HAND BEING A VESSEL OF DIVINE MEANING.

(gasps)

LET ALL YOUR FEMALE ENERGIES RELEASE...

(inhales)

EARTH... (exhales)

(gasps and moans)

AIR...

(gasps)

(inhales) WATER...

(inhales deeply) FIRE.

EARTH...

(gasps)

AIR...

(gasps) WATER...

FIRE.

(gasps)

LET ALL YOUR FEMALE ENERGIES RELEASE. (moans and gasps)

LET IT GO.

OH!

LET IT GO.

(gasps) OHH!

OHH.

(moans)

(gasping)

(moans)

OH.

WHOA.

WHOA. (pants)

THAT WAS, UH... THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.

MM-HMM.

OH. YOU SAID YOU WERE NOT GOING TO CREATE AROUSAL.

I DIDN'T.

YOU DID.

REALLY?

OH, YOU REALLY DID.

OH.

WHEW.

THIS IS... SO AWKWARD.

(laughs)

(laughs)

WOW.

(clanking sound)

(chuckles) I JUST CAN'T GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD.

UNDERSTOOD. HERE'S MY THOUGHT--

YOU'RE A MESS. LIVE WITH IT.

MY WORK HERE IS DONE. ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU.

WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER OPENING UP TO YOU?

(sighs) MICHAEL, I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE NOW.

I'VE HAD MY HEART BROKEN...

(sighs)

ONCE,

BY A FEMALE JOCKEY.

SHE WAS TINY BUT CRUEL.

I MISS LIZ, LUTHER.

OF COURSE YOU DO. SHE'S CHANGED YOU.

YOU REALLY THINK SO?

IS IT FOR THE BETTER?

SO FAR, NO.

LUTHER, IF YOU WERE ME, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

WELL, I'D GET RID OF THIS

AWFUL, BLEAK GETUP.

I DON'T CARE FOR IT.

(scoffs)

IT WAS A JOKE. I'M TRYING TO RESUSCITATE YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU SOME PRICELESS ADVICE

MY FATHER PASSED ALONG TO ME ABOUT LOVE AND DIGNITY.

BE A MAN.

CRAWL BACK TO HER.

(clanking sound)

JUD.

HE'S HERE.

(chuckles) WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING OUT FOR DRINKS.

WE DIDN'T MAKE IT DEFINITE.

HE'S HERE. IT'S DEFINITE.

IS THAT MASSAGE OIL I SMELL?

ARE YOU, UH--THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

YOU KNOW WHAT? UH, I'M REALLY TIRED, JUD.

IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.

ONE DRINK.

FINE.

BUT DON'T MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

BOURBON?

WHEN'D YOU START DRINKING BOURBON?

(chuckles) THINGS CHANGE.

(pops)

IS THAT WHAT YOUR LAWYER DRINKS?

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, JUD?

YOU. YOU'RE DIFFERENT.

(laughs)

WELL, THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU THINK I'M DIFFERENT

IS BECAUSE I'M NOT HANGING OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE.

MAYBE, BUT THAT'S NOT THE INTERESTING PART.

I WATCH YOU. YOU'RE OFF YOUR GAME.

THERE'S OTHER STUFF ON YOUR MIND.

BULLSHIT. THAT'S YOUR EGO TALKING.

NO, THAT'S THE DETECTIVE WHO TRAINED YOU TALKING.

YOU STILL WANT TO BE A COP?

THAT'S WHAT I AM.

WELL, LIKE YOU SAID, THINGS CHANGE.

(scoffs)

OH.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY GETTING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE TO TRY AND FUCK ME.

OHH. LIZ, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I KNOW WHAT A GREAT COP YOU ARE.

SO ANYTHING THAT TAKES YOUR MIND OFF OF THAT...

(sighs)

MUST BE PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

(chuckles)

(laughs)

(clanking sound)

(keys jangle)

(sighs)

(sighs)

IS ANYONE HERE?

HELLO.

JOCE?

DADDY TOLD ME YOU WERE...

OUT OF SORTS TODAY.

SO...

I THOUGHT...

I'D RE-SORT YOU.

♪

(sighs)

(moans)

♪

(inhales sharply)

♪

(moans)

♪

(moans)

(moans)

(both moaning)

♪

OHH.

(both panting and moaning)

♪

OH! OHH!

OH.

(gasps)

MM.

(both panting)

♪

(clanking sound)

(clicks button)

(moaning)

(Michael) OH, GOD.

(panting)

(Michael and Liz moaning)

(moaning continues)

(gasps)

(pants)

(grunts)

(pants)

(moaning)

(gasps)

(Michael and Liz moaning and panting)

(gasps)

(exhales)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(clanking sound)

It's Liz. I'm not here. Leave a message.

HEY, IT'S ME.

I'M COMING OVER. I NEED TO SEE YOU.

I'LL TRY YOUR CELL.

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(ring)

(ring)

(ring)

(laughs)

(both panting and moaning)

GOOD. OH.

OHH.

OH, G-- (gasps)

(both moaning)

OH! MM.

(moaning)

(grunting) OH!

(grunts)

(both moaning)

(both grunting and moaning)

OH! OHH!

AHH!

AHH. AHH.

OHH. OH!

OH, G--

OHH!

(both panting)

GOD! YEAH.

I MEAN-- YEAH.

IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I JUST DO.

WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.

IT DOES GET BETTER.

H-HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

BECAUSE THERE'S PANCAKES, AND WE DIDN'T GET ANY.

(laughs)

IHOP IS ALWAYS OPEN. (laughs)

(chuckles and sighs)

I MISSED YOU.

OH, I MISSED YOU MORE.

UNH-UNH.

(chuckles)

MY FRIEND LUTHER SAID I'VE CHANGED,

AND YOU'RE THE REASON.

MY FRIENDS SAID THE SAME THING.

OH, WAS I THE REASON? YEAH.

WELL, FUCK.

(laughs) I KNOW.

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT, DO THEY?

TOTALLY.

(both laugh)