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Subscene.com
1
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Your Ladyship, please.
Douglas?
2
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The door, Thomas.
3
00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:38,949
Is...
4
00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:41,654
...everybody here, I presume?
- Yes, sir.
5
00:01:41,823 --> 00:01:45,205
- Everyone except the heir from America.
- Oh, well, no need to wait for him.
6
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I was notified of his arrival in town
today, but I've no faith in it.
7
00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:51,670
So we'll proceed
to the business on hand.
8
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To wit, the reading of the will
of the late Angus lan McLaurel...
9
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...a kindly master, a friendly friend...
10
00:02:00,544 --> 00:02:04,347
...and a loyal Scot
whom everybody respected.
11
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,475
- God rest his soul.
- Amen.
12
00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:15,631
If you don't mind, I'll omit the legal
phraseology, get down to the bequests.
13
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,152
Aye.
14
00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:22,815
"First, I bequeath to my grandson
in America, Stanley McLaurel...
15
00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:26,535
...whom I've never seen, a..."
16
00:02:26,788 --> 00:02:29,788
Laddie, what do you make
that out to be?
17
00:03:03,723 --> 00:03:07,019
Could you tell us where
we could find a policeman?
18
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:11,540
You'll have to pardon my friend, officer,
he's a stranger here.
19
00:03:11,964 --> 00:03:15,766
I wonder if you could direct us
to the best hotel in your fair city.
20
00:03:15,935 --> 00:03:18,936
- Right over there, sir.
- Thank you.
21
00:03:19,147 --> 00:03:20,837
Thank you.
22
00:03:39,939 --> 00:03:42,433
No, nothing today.
23
00:03:42,644 --> 00:03:46,870
Good day, madam. We'd like for you
to give us a room and a bath, please.
24
00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:51,011
I can give you the room,
but you'll have to take the bath yourself.
25
00:03:51,181 --> 00:03:53,800
- By the day or the week?
- You'd better make it by the day.
26
00:03:53,969 --> 00:03:57,435
You see, my friend Mr. McLaurel
is heir to the McLaurel estate...
27
00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:01,195
...and we're moving in there shortly.
- Is that a fact?
28
00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:06,351
Oh, I can see the likeness now.
29
00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:10,704
- Did you know the old gentleman?
- Known him for nigh on to 40 years.
30
00:04:10,873 --> 00:04:13,620
'Twas a sad ending he had.
31
00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:17,171
- What did he die of?
- He died of a broken heart.
32
00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:20,466
You see, he had a no-good son
by the name of Sandy...
33
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,833
...who ran away to America
and married a queen.
34
00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:27,228
- Royalty?
- "Royalty." No, a burlesque queen.
35
00:04:27,396 --> 00:04:32,553
One of those play-actors.
And the old man never forgave him.
36
00:04:32,891 --> 00:04:37,074
- Well, what became of Sandy?
- They had a wee baby boy.
37
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:40,963
And when Sandy saw the baby
for the first time...
38
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:44,089
...he committed suicide.
39
00:04:44,723 --> 00:04:46,836
Can you beat that?
40
00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:49,414
What a face that kid must have had.
41
00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:52,499
Sandy was your father.
42
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:56,091
And I don't blame him.
43
00:04:56,430 --> 00:05:01,119
- Will you show us to our room, please?
- Upstairs, and the first door to the left.
44
00:05:01,246 --> 00:05:02,725
Thank you.
45
00:05:03,698 --> 00:05:05,304
Come on.
46
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:09,149
Oh, my goodness!
47
00:05:14,432 --> 00:05:19,418
"Therefore, the residue of my estate,
real and personal...
48
00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:24,954
...I do bequeath to my granddaughter,
Lorna McLaurel."
49
00:05:25,081 --> 00:05:27,026
Isn't that wonderful?
50
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:30,364
"I make the above bequest
to my granddaughter...
51
00:05:30,532 --> 00:05:34,168
...providing she accedes
to my wishes, to wit:
52
00:05:34,548 --> 00:05:37,251
I do appoint Colonel Gregor McGregor...
53
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:41,436
...at present serving
with His Majesty's forces in India...
54
00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:44,817
...to be the sole guardian
of her estate and person...
55
00:05:44,985 --> 00:05:47,479
...until she shall reach the age of 21."
56
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,888
Well, congratulations, my dear.
57
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:53,142
The proviso is not so bad.
You'll like my brother, I'm sure.
58
00:05:53,564 --> 00:05:55,889
- Your brother?
- Oh, of course, I forgot.
59
00:05:56,057 --> 00:05:59,185
This is all a surprise to you.
Colonel McGregor is my brother.
60
00:05:59,311 --> 00:06:01,847
And he sent me over here
to fetch you out to India.
61
00:06:02,017 --> 00:06:06,073
India? You mean,
I must really leave Scotland?
62
00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:09,454
Why, it's always been my home
and I love it.
63
00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:11,313
There's nothing to get upset about.
64
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,962
We'll talk about this another time.
65
00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:16,766
When you're over the shock of finding
yourself one of Scotland's richest girls.
66
00:06:16,934 --> 00:06:20,314
Yes. But I'm not going to India.
67
00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:23,696
Alan, you heard what they said.
68
00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:26,230
But you'd never let me go so far away,
would you?
69
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,809
Well, l... I...
70
00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,725
Or would you? Oh, Alan.
71
00:06:31,894 --> 00:06:35,486
Alan, that's thousands of miles away.
Alan, dear, don't let me go.
72
00:06:35,654 --> 00:06:37,387
Keep me here near you. Please.
73
00:06:37,557 --> 00:06:39,417
- I don't wanna go away.
- There, my dear.
74
00:06:39,585 --> 00:06:41,782
You come along with me
until you can quiet down.
75
00:06:41,952 --> 00:06:44,529
This thing can be settled
without upsetting anybody.
76
00:06:44,698 --> 00:06:48,163
- You'll excuse me, I know. Come along.
- I don't wanna go. Alan!
77
00:06:48,966 --> 00:06:51,207
Oh, Mr. Miggs, what am I gonna do?
78
00:06:51,418 --> 00:06:55,602
There, there, lad,
everything will be all right.
79
00:06:56,405 --> 00:06:59,955
And now, I thank you
for your gracious attention.
80
00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:01,688
That's all.
81
00:07:09,505 --> 00:07:12,801
There's no hurry.
You'll get what's coming to you.
82
00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:16,816
I'm Mr. Hardy.
This is my friend Mr. McLaurel.
83
00:07:17,956 --> 00:07:22,774
- I believe we're expected.
- Oh, yes, sir. Step right in, sir.
84
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,467
Just a moment, gentlemen,
and I'll announce you.
85
00:07:39,636 --> 00:07:41,285
Thank you.
86
00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:51,343
- Nice fellow, isn't he?
- Charming. I think I'll retain his services.
87
00:07:51,511 --> 00:07:55,273
That's a good idea.
He sure can "buttle."
88
00:07:58,821 --> 00:08:03,174
- Oh. By the way... Mr. Miggs.
- Yes, Mrs. Bunts?
89
00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:07,528
The next time you drop down to Glasgow,
you must come up and see me sometime.
90
00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:10,823
- Thank you.
- That's Mae West.
91
00:08:12,641 --> 00:08:17,035
- Mr. Miggs will see you. Follow me.
- Thank you.
92
00:08:19,277 --> 00:08:22,318
- Right this way, sir.
- Yes, sir.
93
00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:32,502
- Order the gig and wait for me.
- Yes, sir.
94
00:08:32,673 --> 00:08:35,124
- Now, gentlemen.
- How do you do, Mr. Miggs.
95
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:38,377
I'm Mr. Hardy.
This is my friend Mr. McLaurel.
96
00:08:38,545 --> 00:08:42,983
- I'm glad to meet you. Take a chair.
- Thank you.
97
00:09:21,904 --> 00:09:26,426
And now, Mr. McLaurel,
I'd like to see your credentials.
98
00:09:30,187 --> 00:09:32,512
I beg your pardon, Mr. Miggs,
I didn't get you.
99
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,442
I asked Mr. McLaurel
if he had any credentials.
100
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,711
- Just what do you mean, Mr. Miggs?
- Something to identify himself with.
101
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:51,106
To prove that he is Stanley McLaurel.
102
00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:53,598
For instance, a passport.
103
00:09:53,937 --> 00:09:56,515
I'm sorry, sir, but we haven't one.
104
00:09:56,684 --> 00:10:00,319
- What? No passport?
- No, sir. You see, it was like this:
105
00:10:00,487 --> 00:10:03,826
We were in such a hurry to get away,
we forgot to get one.
106
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:07,715
- Well, how did you get into the country?
- We stowed away on a cattle boat.
107
00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:10,588
The roughest trip I ever...
108
00:10:11,348 --> 00:10:15,152
Oh, well, if you can't prove who you are,
there's nothing to be done.
109
00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:18,448
I wonder if these would do, Mr. Miggs.
110
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,138
- Right there, sir.
- Yes.
111
00:10:23,942 --> 00:10:26,942
Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake.
That's the one.
112
00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:32,013
- Is that you?
- Yes. That was taken three years ago.
113
00:10:32,182 --> 00:10:34,507
You can see I wasn't feeling very good.
114
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,958
- See, my left...
- Well, it's proof enough.
115
00:10:37,126 --> 00:10:41,015
- Like father, like son.
- That's fine. Now that's all settled...
116
00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:44,311
...could we get down to business?
- Yes.
117
00:10:54,116 --> 00:11:00,158
"Know all men by these present,
that I, Angus lan McLaurel...
118
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:04,088
...being of sound mind and..."
- Pardon me, Mr. Miggs.
119
00:11:04,257 --> 00:11:07,554
- Is it necessary to read that?
- Well, no.
120
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:11,568
Well, let's skip it and get down
to what we're going to get.
121
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:19,724
"First, I do bequeath to my grandson,
Stanley McLaurel...
122
00:11:19,894 --> 00:11:25,556
...whom I've never seen,
two of my most cherished possessions...
123
00:11:25,725 --> 00:11:28,895
...with the hope that he'll preserve them
and hand them down...
124
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,599
...from generation to generation."
125
00:11:34,515 --> 00:11:37,896
You're a very lucky man,
Mr. McLaurel...
126
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:41,530
...and you'll be the envy
of many a true Scot.
127
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,194
Look at that.
128
00:11:53,658 --> 00:11:58,729
Blown at Waterloo,
sounding the charge at Balaklava...
129
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,561
...whistling defiance at Mafeking...
130
00:12:01,731 --> 00:12:06,125
...and the praise of victory at Mons.
131
00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:18,719
And last but not least, this snuff box.
132
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:22,649
Presented for valor
by Mary Queen of Scots...
133
00:12:22,818 --> 00:12:28,903
...to your great-great-great-great-
great-great-grandfather.
134
00:12:30,847 --> 00:12:33,636
And a grand man he was.
135
00:12:44,878 --> 00:12:48,047
- Is this all we get?
- That's all, sir.
136
00:12:48,216 --> 00:12:52,061
And I wish you a very pleasant voyage
back to America.
137
00:12:54,851 --> 00:12:57,851
Thomas, show these gentlemen
to the door...
138
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:01,148
...and tell Lady Ormsby I'd like to speak
to her at her convenience.
139
00:13:01,316 --> 00:13:04,360
Yes, sir. This way, gentlemen.
140
00:13:09,515 --> 00:13:11,332
Good day, gentlemen.
141
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:29,165
There we are.
142
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,631
- Well, here I am. At your service.
- Oh, thank you, Your Ladyship.
143
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,928
You know, I'm anxious
to have this affair settled.
144
00:13:39,096 --> 00:13:44,548
Here's the probate of the will and the
term of the colonel's trusteeship...
145
00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:47,633
...duly signed, sealed and now delivered.
146
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:50,888
Thank you, Mr. Miggs.
I'll see that my brother gets them safely.
147
00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:54,987
I shall mention your efficient handling of
the whole affair. You can depend on that.
148
00:13:55,156 --> 00:13:57,099
I'm worried about the lassie.
149
00:13:57,310 --> 00:14:02,678
This romance with my clerk
is more serious than I suspected.
150
00:14:02,846 --> 00:14:07,157
She's got a mind of her own.
And if she decides not to go...
151
00:14:07,326 --> 00:14:10,030
...it will be ruinous for her.
- Of course it would be.
152
00:14:10,242 --> 00:14:14,003
Oh, this love affair, or romance
as you call it, doesn't mean anything.
153
00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:17,426
- Love affairs at that age never do.
- You may be right...
154
00:14:17,638 --> 00:14:21,146
...but I don't like the job
of forcing her to go away.
155
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,062
You won't have to.
156
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,344
The boy will do that.
157
00:14:27,018 --> 00:14:29,766
He seems a reasonable,
manly sort of chap.
158
00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:32,893
I know. You send him to me
and I'll see what can be done.
159
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:37,880
Oh, I'll do that at once, Your Ladyship.
And thank you again.
160
00:14:38,091 --> 00:14:41,937
Oh, it takes a woman to handle
the affairs of the heart.
161
00:14:42,106 --> 00:14:46,797
I'll say goodbye to you for the present
and thank you for your gracious help.
162
00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:51,531
- Goodbye, Mr. Miggs.
- I'll send the boy to you at once.
163
00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:02,307
Well, here's another nice mess
you've gotten me into.
164
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,786
All the way from America
on a cattle boat...
165
00:15:07,335 --> 00:15:09,195
...for this...
166
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,660
...Mr. McLaurel.
167
00:15:21,535 --> 00:15:24,239
That isn't the way to use that.
168
00:17:05,452 --> 00:17:07,353
Dry these.
169
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,931
Mr. McLaurel.
170
00:17:24,129 --> 00:17:26,581
Mind your own business.
171
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,792
Blown at Waterloo.
172
00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,949
What do you think
we'd better do, Ollie?
173
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,864
I expected that.
174
00:19:16,076 --> 00:19:19,035
Every time you get us into a mess...
175
00:19:19,203 --> 00:19:23,048
...you come to me expecting me
to get us out of it.
176
00:19:25,627 --> 00:19:27,442
Well, it wasn't my fault.
177
00:19:27,739 --> 00:19:29,640
What do you mean,
it wasn't your fault?
178
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:34,036
If you hadn't been so money-mad,
we wouldn't be here.
179
00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:41,009
There we were,
comfortably settled in jail...
180
00:19:41,177 --> 00:19:44,262
...with one more week to serve.
181
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:49,419
And you had to talk me
into breaking out...
182
00:19:49,587 --> 00:19:53,770
...just to come on this wild-goose chase
of yours.
183
00:20:01,674 --> 00:20:04,886
Well, I guess we'll have to stow
our way back home again.
184
00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:09,914
Go to the jail and tell the warden we're
sorry for the trouble we put him to...
185
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:13,041
...and maybe we'll get our old cell back.
186
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:16,465
- Be more comfortable to be there than...
- Why, if we went back there...
187
00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:21,113
...that warden would give us life.
For escaping.
188
00:20:22,424 --> 00:20:25,635
Well, we could go to another jail
where the warden didn't know us.
189
00:20:25,804 --> 00:20:29,016
Serve our week
and nobody would be any the wiser.
190
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:33,200
Pay our debt to society and then
we wouldn't have to worry a bit...
191
00:20:33,368 --> 00:20:35,820
Why, if we went to any jail
in that state...
192
00:20:36,031 --> 00:20:40,215
...the warden would give us life.
In fact, he'd hang us.
193
00:20:42,455 --> 00:20:45,962
We could go to another state.
You know what we could do?
194
00:20:46,131 --> 00:20:48,708
We could go way, way out west...
195
00:20:48,835 --> 00:20:50,821
...where they'd never find us.
196
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:57,753
Out west where?
197
00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,950
Oh, Philadelphia, Jersey Ci...
198
00:21:00,161 --> 00:21:04,090
Any of those places where
they have no exposition laws.
199
00:21:04,261 --> 00:21:06,288
What do you mean,
"no exposition laws"?
200
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:08,698
Well, if the police found out
where we were...
201
00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:11,698
...they could come and get us
if we didn't want them to...
202
00:21:11,910 --> 00:21:13,304
If we... If they knew.
203
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:19,728
That's a very, very, very good idea.
204
00:21:19,896 --> 00:21:24,882
Just as soon as my pants are dry,
we'll formulate...
205
00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:27,165
...our plans.
206
00:21:44,534 --> 00:21:46,267
Step aside.
207
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:55,395
That's the only pair of pants
I've got in the world.
208
00:22:17,158 --> 00:22:18,934
Alan!
209
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:23,666
Come, lass. Come, lass.
Now, hurry, hurry, hurry.
210
00:22:23,877 --> 00:22:26,709
I don't want to. Alan!
211
00:22:55,867 --> 00:22:59,164
- Good morning, Mr. McLaurel.
- Good morning, Mrs. Bickerdike.
212
00:22:59,332 --> 00:23:03,348
Where is Mr. Hardy? I haven't seen him
in the past three weeks.
213
00:23:03,517 --> 00:23:06,856
- Oh, he's awful sick.
- Is that a fact?
214
00:23:07,025 --> 00:23:11,039
Hoot, ma'am. You know, the day he fell
in the water, he got an awful cold...
215
00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:13,152
...and it turned into pneumatics.
216
00:23:13,364 --> 00:23:15,857
- Is he very sick?
- You're darn hooting he's sick.
217
00:23:16,026 --> 00:23:19,154
The only thing he can keep on
his stomach is a hot-water bottle.
218
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:24,140
- My, my, what a predicament.
- Yeah, I think he's got that too.
219
00:23:24,309 --> 00:23:26,042
Well, give him my respects.
220
00:23:26,210 --> 00:23:28,873
- I surely will.
- And also give him this.
221
00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:31,281
It's the bill for three weeks' rent.
222
00:23:31,408 --> 00:23:34,958
I'm getting very impatient waiting
for this estate to get cleared up.
223
00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:38,382
We were talking about that
this morning. I'll see...
224
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:02,427
- Who's there?
- It's me.
225
00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:09,526
- Come in.
- Are you dressed?
226
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,258
Come in.
227
00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:21,401
Where have you been?
228
00:24:21,613 --> 00:24:24,866
The landlady gave me this.
It's the bill for three weeks' rent.
229
00:24:25,036 --> 00:24:29,220
There are more important things
than this. Did you get me any pants?
230
00:24:29,388 --> 00:24:32,643
- No, but I got something to eat.
- What?
231
00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:41,602
- Where'd you get it?
- I traded our overcoats for it.
232
00:24:42,066 --> 00:24:47,688
That's just like you. Thinking
of your stomach before my pride.
233
00:24:48,702 --> 00:24:50,983
How are you going to cook it?
234
00:24:53,139 --> 00:24:55,547
- I never thought of that.
- No, you wouldn't.
235
00:24:55,716 --> 00:24:58,590
Once again, I have to come
to your rescue...
236
00:24:58,759 --> 00:25:02,098
...and be the mother of invention.
237
00:25:12,071 --> 00:25:13,550
What you going to do?
238
00:25:13,719 --> 00:25:15,875
I'm going to cook the fish...
239
00:25:16,043 --> 00:25:17,987
...over the candle.
240
00:25:22,847 --> 00:25:25,806
I've got an idea that's better
than your mother's invention.
241
00:25:25,975 --> 00:25:28,806
- What?
- Hold this and I'll show you.
242
00:25:32,736 --> 00:25:34,342
A grill.
243
00:25:35,060 --> 00:25:38,230
Put the candle under there
and we can cook the fish on top.
244
00:25:38,398 --> 00:25:41,737
Why, that's exactly
what I intended to do.
245
00:25:53,275 --> 00:25:55,514
Now, give me the fish.
246
00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:10,769
You watch the fish
and see that it doesn't burn.
247
00:27:35,753 --> 00:27:36,811
How does it look?
248
00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:38,712
Never looked better in all its life.
249
00:27:38,882 --> 00:27:42,685
Well, bring it over
because I'm as hungry as a hunter.
250
00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,221
Where's the rest of it?
251
00:27:54,476 --> 00:27:55,658
It "shrizzled."
252
00:27:55,827 --> 00:27:59,208
Well, I'm glad you didn't bring
a sardine.
253
00:29:19,205 --> 00:29:20,557
What's going on here?
254
00:29:20,854 --> 00:29:24,066
- Mr. Hardy just had a relapse.
- A relapse?
255
00:29:24,235 --> 00:29:25,926
He's awful sick.
256
00:29:35,434 --> 00:29:37,545
What are you doing?!
257
00:29:38,602 --> 00:29:42,449
Put it out! Put it out! Put it out!
258
00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:45,068
Do something!
259
00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:48,365
Well, do something!
260
00:29:50,393 --> 00:29:54,704
This has gone far enough!
Rent or no rent, get out of my house!
261
00:29:55,337 --> 00:29:57,281
You... You foreigners!
262
00:29:57,662 --> 00:30:00,408
- He can't go out. He hasn't got pants.
- Come on!
263
00:30:00,578 --> 00:30:02,649
Pack up your things and get out!
264
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,776
Get out of my house! Oh, no, you don't!
265
00:30:05,987 --> 00:30:09,030
I'll hold these till you settle up.
266
00:30:16,932 --> 00:30:20,102
- What are you laughing at?
- Why shouldn't I laugh?
267
00:30:20,228 --> 00:30:24,117
Here am I, Oliver Norvell Hardy...
268
00:30:24,285 --> 00:30:26,779
...a man without a home.
269
00:30:26,948 --> 00:30:29,780
A man without a country.
270
00:30:29,907 --> 00:30:33,328
A man without any pants!
271
00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:36,794
- Well, I don't see anything to laugh at.
- Neither do I!
272
00:30:50,655 --> 00:30:53,319
- Isn't that swell?
- Why, that's wonderful.
273
00:30:53,487 --> 00:30:56,530
- What does it say?
- Says we can get a new suit of clothes...
274
00:30:56,656 --> 00:30:59,235
...for nothing. Come on.
275
00:31:04,940 --> 00:31:10,052
- Didn't you hear me say to come on?
- Yeah, but you didn't say which way.
276
00:31:10,222 --> 00:31:11,913
I thought you...
277
00:31:19,011 --> 00:31:21,041
- How do you do, sir?
- How do you do, gentlemen?
278
00:31:21,251 --> 00:31:22,435
What can I do for you?
279
00:31:22,603 --> 00:31:25,858
Why, we read your advertisement
and we've come to accept your offer.
280
00:31:26,027 --> 00:31:28,098
Yeah, we'd like to get measured
right away.
281
00:31:28,266 --> 00:31:32,239
Aye. Well, if you'll just sign your name
to the bottom of that.
282
00:31:32,409 --> 00:31:33,761
Yes, sir.
283
00:31:44,621 --> 00:31:47,452
Now, if you'll follow me, please.
284
00:31:49,101 --> 00:31:53,158
Major, here's a couple
of new customers. Fix them up.
285
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:55,947
Thank you very much
for your courtesy, sir.
286
00:31:56,115 --> 00:31:57,806
Come here.
287
00:31:59,792 --> 00:32:02,116
Here's the king's shilling.
288
00:32:02,371 --> 00:32:03,680
What's this for?
289
00:32:03,807 --> 00:32:07,357
That's to bind the bargain.
You're now in His Majesty's service.
290
00:32:08,076 --> 00:32:11,668
- What do you mean?
- You're in the army.
291
00:32:17,076 --> 00:32:19,486
What's that got to do with this?
292
00:32:19,654 --> 00:32:21,430
Oh, that's the tailor shop upstairs.
293
00:32:21,978 --> 00:32:23,839
I'm afraid there's been a slight mistake.
294
00:32:24,007 --> 00:32:26,205
We came here to be measured
for a suit of clothes.
295
00:32:26,373 --> 00:32:30,050
Well, don't worry. We'll give you
a suit of clothes you'll be proud of.
296
00:32:30,176 --> 00:32:32,248
- Sergeant.
- Yes, sir?
297
00:32:32,417 --> 00:32:35,460
Have the medical officer thump them
over and take them to the barracks.
298
00:32:35,629 --> 00:32:38,037
Aye. You come along with me.
299
00:32:42,433 --> 00:32:43,996
Come along now, you hear?
300
00:32:49,109 --> 00:32:51,053
Do you think they're kidding?
301
00:32:51,223 --> 00:32:55,491
Why, certainly they're kidding.
They're having the time of their lives.
302
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:58,998
- Well, let's tell them we're wise to them.
- You heard what the man said.
303
00:32:59,166 --> 00:33:00,816
We're in the army.
304
00:33:00,984 --> 00:33:04,703
Well, I didn't know. I thought
we're coming up to get some clothes...
305
00:33:10,915 --> 00:33:14,169
Now, this is the third deed
you've spoilt in a week.
306
00:33:14,339 --> 00:33:17,889
I want to assist you,
but for the last three months...
307
00:33:18,057 --> 00:33:20,424
...you've not been worth your salt.
308
00:33:20,635 --> 00:33:23,679
Oh, l... I know, Mr. Miggs, but I...
309
00:33:23,932 --> 00:33:25,200
l...
310
00:33:26,806 --> 00:33:28,877
That's the postman.
311
00:33:29,383 --> 00:33:31,200
A brisk morning, Mr. Douglas.
312
00:33:31,369 --> 00:33:33,271
- Good morning, Mr. Miggs.
- Good morning.
313
00:33:33,483 --> 00:33:37,287
Wait. Are you sure that's all?
There isn't one for me?
314
00:33:37,455 --> 00:33:39,906
Sorry, lad, but that's all.
315
00:33:44,808 --> 00:33:46,540
Sorry, sir.
316
00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:52,457
- Ollie.
- What?
317
00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:53,936
Do you feel a draft?
318
00:33:54,104 --> 00:33:57,781
After what I've gone through,
nothing matters.
319
00:34:06,106 --> 00:34:07,756
Come in.
320
00:34:09,488 --> 00:34:11,092
Good morning, Mr. Miggs.
321
00:34:11,348 --> 00:34:16,419
- What ye doing? You're all dressed up.
- We're in the army. How do we look?
322
00:34:16,714 --> 00:34:18,869
God save the king.
323
00:34:22,123 --> 00:34:24,532
I wonder if we could ask
a favor of you, Mr. Miggs.
324
00:34:24,744 --> 00:34:26,222
Well, that depends. What is it?
325
00:34:26,391 --> 00:34:29,603
You see, sir, we're leaving town.
And if any mail should come for us...
326
00:34:29,771 --> 00:34:33,280
...will you forward it to that address?
- Well, I might do that.
327
00:34:33,490 --> 00:34:35,899
"Private McLaurel. Private Hardy.
328
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,872
Third Battalion,
Caledonia Highlanders, Pellore...
329
00:34:40,041 --> 00:34:43,718
...Northwest Frontier Province, India."
330
00:34:43,886 --> 00:34:45,450
India.
331
00:34:45,957 --> 00:34:48,155
Well, that's a coincidence.
332
00:34:48,282 --> 00:34:51,493
That's the station commanded
by Colonel McGregor.
333
00:34:51,662 --> 00:34:55,128
If you see Lady Ormsby
or Miss Lorna McLaurel...
334
00:34:55,297 --> 00:34:57,832
...will you give them my regards?
- We certainly will.
335
00:34:57,959 --> 00:34:59,353
- Thank you.
- Goodbye, Mr. Miggs.
336
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,297
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Alan.
337
00:35:01,509 --> 00:35:02,818
- Goodbye, Mr. Miggs.
- Goodbye.
338
00:35:03,030 --> 00:35:04,509
- Goodbye, Ollie.
- Goodbye, Stanley.
339
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,242
Goodbye, Alan.
340
00:35:15,666 --> 00:35:17,695
Well, wait. Wait!
341
00:35:17,864 --> 00:35:19,765
I've found a way out, Mr. Miggs.
342
00:35:19,935 --> 00:35:23,483
Oh, I appreciate everything you've done,
but this means more to me than my life.
343
00:35:23,695 --> 00:35:26,315
- Will you release me?
- I'll not stand in your way, laddie.
344
00:35:26,527 --> 00:35:29,020
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- But where are you going?
345
00:35:29,190 --> 00:35:33,162
- I'm going to Lorna. To India.
- To India?
346
00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:34,937
My, my.
347
00:35:47,657 --> 00:35:49,811
The wonders of youth.
348
00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,925
India.
349
00:36:28,605 --> 00:36:31,015
Cool them off slowly.
They've had a run.
350
00:36:33,297 --> 00:36:36,509
- Happy?
- Oh, yes, Greg. The ride was glorious.
351
00:36:36,678 --> 00:36:39,594
- Am I improving?
- I would say you were perfect.
352
00:36:39,763 --> 00:36:42,637
- Oh, Greg, I'm afraid you're prejudiced.
- Right.
353
00:36:42,805 --> 00:36:44,454
Of all the selfish people...
354
00:36:44,581 --> 00:36:48,257
If it means anything to you two,
I've been waiting here for over an hour.
355
00:36:48,890 --> 00:36:53,074
One must admire Vi Ormsby's skill.
She's managed the whole affair.
356
00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:55,272
It's a positive godsend
for Colonel McGregor.
357
00:36:55,399 --> 00:36:57,470
It hasn't been easy
with nothing but his pay.
358
00:36:57,639 --> 00:37:00,428
- Has the girl money?
- Oodles of it, my dear.
359
00:37:00,596 --> 00:37:04,443
Comes into one of the richest estates
in Scotland when she becomes 21.
360
00:37:04,611 --> 00:37:08,753
- The colonel handles it till then.
- Oh, now I understand.
361
00:37:08,922 --> 00:37:11,712
- lf he marries, he'll...
- "lf"? My dear, it's as good as settled.
362
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,627
Vi is clever, deucedly clever.
363
00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:16,783
We'd just ridden down by the river...
364
00:37:16,993 --> 00:37:18,304
- Beg pardon, sir.
- What is it?
365
00:37:18,472 --> 00:37:20,755
General Fletcher's compliments.
Wishes to see you.
366
00:37:20,923 --> 00:37:23,333
- All right, corporal. I'll be over.
- Very good, sir.
367
00:37:24,389 --> 00:37:26,798
I'll be back as soon as I can.
368
00:37:29,630 --> 00:37:33,306
You should be very proud of your
brother, Vi. He's such a good soldier.
369
00:37:33,518 --> 00:37:36,687
But I am very proud of him.
He's too much of a soldier.
370
00:37:36,855 --> 00:37:41,927
I wish he'd forget orders, routines and
commands and think more of himself.
371
00:37:42,053 --> 00:37:45,857
- He seems well satisfied.
- That's just it. He's too well satisfied.
372
00:37:46,026 --> 00:37:49,618
Content to settle down here
and get nothing personal out of life.
373
00:37:49,830 --> 00:37:52,660
He lives too much unto himself.
374
00:37:52,872 --> 00:37:55,069
You know, what he needs is a wife.
375
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,155
Well, are you suggesting
we pick one for him?
376
00:37:58,535 --> 00:38:02,338
Listen, Lorna, let's stop fencing.
You know very well what I'm getting at.
377
00:38:02,508 --> 00:38:06,606
Greg adores you and wants you to
be his wife. Why don't you marry him?
378
00:38:06,986 --> 00:38:11,931
Greg's a dear, Vi. I do like him.
Love him in a way.
379
00:38:12,101 --> 00:38:15,184
But I've never thought of him
as a husband. Really, I haven't.
380
00:38:15,354 --> 00:38:16,834
You see...
381
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,511
...most of my heart's
been in Scotland. Alan.
382
00:38:20,679 --> 00:38:23,511
Oh, stop it, Lorna. We promised never
to speak of that again.
383
00:38:23,679 --> 00:38:26,215
The boy that's never written to you,
never thought about you.
384
00:38:26,384 --> 00:38:27,736
Don't be so silly.
385
00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:30,356
Maybe you're right. I am silly.
386
00:38:30,525 --> 00:38:35,259
I'll forget it. I have to.
We'll live only in the future.
387
00:38:35,428 --> 00:38:38,555
- And Greg?
- Perhaps...
388
00:38:38,766 --> 00:38:41,386
...and Greg.
- Oh, splendid, darling.
389
00:38:46,627 --> 00:38:49,754
Right away. Hurry up. This way.
390
00:38:49,922 --> 00:38:51,781
Everything's ready.
391
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,290
Everything's... Everything...
392
00:38:56,219 --> 00:38:59,642
What are you two holding up
this line for? Come on!
393
00:39:01,459 --> 00:39:02,938
Get off!
394
00:39:09,108 --> 00:39:10,587
Ready!
395
00:39:13,799 --> 00:39:15,490
Forward...
396
00:39:15,658 --> 00:39:17,223
...march!
397
00:40:07,511 --> 00:40:09,202
I had to see you personally.
398
00:40:09,370 --> 00:40:11,611
- Then it's serious.
- Very.
399
00:40:11,737 --> 00:40:15,414
- Trouble with Khan Mir Jutra.
- That fellow again?
400
00:40:15,541 --> 00:40:18,836
Yet I wish I could meet him and
have my way. I'd teach him a lesson.
401
00:40:19,006 --> 00:40:22,345
Well, it's because you've
never met him that I'm here.
402
00:40:22,725 --> 00:40:25,260
I'm sending you to Fort Rannu.
403
00:40:25,893 --> 00:40:29,276
Oh, yes, yes. l... I know it's a nuisance,
but the fellow's dangerous.
404
00:40:29,487 --> 00:40:31,937
There's only three officers
and a handful of men there.
405
00:40:32,149 --> 00:40:35,445
If he goes mad and kicks over the traces,
they'll be butchered like sheep.
406
00:40:35,825 --> 00:40:38,488
Take whatever force you think adequate
and move up to Rannu.
407
00:40:38,741 --> 00:40:41,277
- At once, sir?
- Oh, Monday will do.
408
00:40:41,446 --> 00:40:43,897
Soothe Jutra's feelings, if possible...
409
00:40:44,066 --> 00:40:47,870
...but if he won't listen to reason,
let him have it as hard as you can.
410
00:40:48,038 --> 00:40:49,941
- Right?
- Right, sir.
411
00:40:52,433 --> 00:40:53,955
The new draft is nearly here, sir.
412
00:40:54,124 --> 00:40:57,758
- I'll be on the parade ground in moments.
- Very good, sir.
413
00:41:35,834 --> 00:41:37,610
Company, halt!
414
00:41:37,778 --> 00:41:39,764
Right turn!
415
00:41:42,005 --> 00:41:44,286
Orders up!
416
00:41:45,977 --> 00:41:47,244
Attention!
417
00:41:49,062 --> 00:41:50,583
Platoon, hut!
418
00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:55,866
Present, hut!
419
00:42:00,767 --> 00:42:02,500
Stand them at ease, please.
420
00:42:02,669 --> 00:42:03,979
Stand at ease.
421
00:42:04,318 --> 00:42:06,683
Stand at ease.
422
00:42:07,530 --> 00:42:09,810
As your commanding officer...
423
00:42:09,938 --> 00:42:12,304
...I welcome you to India.
424
00:42:13,022 --> 00:42:16,108
- Do you care to say a few words, sir?
- Yes.
425
00:42:17,122 --> 00:42:20,165
Now, I want to impress
upon you men two facts:
426
00:42:20,334 --> 00:42:25,953
First, that the most important thing with
which you'll have to contend is the sun.
427
00:42:26,124 --> 00:42:30,687
Sunstroke can kill a man just as surely,
just as swiftly as a native bullet.
428
00:42:30,856 --> 00:42:35,673
And second, you've got to remember
that India is truly a land of mystery.
429
00:42:36,223 --> 00:42:40,406
With a great deal that even to us
old campaigners is strange...
430
00:42:40,534 --> 00:42:44,042
...and difficult of explanation.
You'll therefore have to take on trust...
431
00:42:44,252 --> 00:42:48,014
...many things which may appear to you
not only unreasonable...
432
00:42:48,224 --> 00:42:49,746
...but at times...
433
00:42:49,915 --> 00:42:52,789
...absolutely impossible.
434
00:42:53,169 --> 00:42:55,155
That's all I have to say,
Colonel McGregor.
435
00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:58,409
- Dismiss the parade.
- Sir.
436
00:42:59,382 --> 00:43:02,594
Company, attention!
437
00:43:03,185 --> 00:43:05,848
Dismissed!
438
00:43:11,467 --> 00:43:12,778
- See you later.
- All right, Alan.
439
00:43:12,990 --> 00:43:14,214
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
440
00:43:14,384 --> 00:43:16,412
I wonder where
we get the key to our room.
441
00:43:16,582 --> 00:43:19,921
I don't know. I'll find out.
Oh, sergeant.
442
00:43:20,089 --> 00:43:22,329
- What is it?
- Where do we get the key for our room?
443
00:43:22,540 --> 00:43:27,062
Yeah, we'd like to take a bath.
We're all worn out. Aren't we?
444
00:43:27,315 --> 00:43:32,132
What do you think this is? Get to
the barracks before I lose my temper.
445
00:43:32,260 --> 00:43:34,415
- Come on! Get out of here.
- All we want is a room.
446
00:43:34,542 --> 00:43:38,598
A room and bath.
Come on, boys, clear out.
447
00:44:22,845 --> 00:44:24,787
- Alan.
- Yes?
448
00:44:24,958 --> 00:44:26,986
You going to see Lorna?
449
00:44:35,438 --> 00:44:36,706
- Say, Ollie.
- What?
450
00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:40,425
What was that the general was trying
to tell us that he didn't know himself?
451
00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:42,833
You know, about the mysteries
or something.
452
00:44:43,002 --> 00:44:46,003
I don't know. Ask old leatherpuss.
453
00:44:46,172 --> 00:44:49,764
- Who?
- Leatherpuss.
454
00:44:50,314 --> 00:44:52,595
Sergeant Leatherpuss.
455
00:44:54,032 --> 00:44:56,821
- Are you speaking to me?
- Yes, sir.
456
00:44:58,892 --> 00:45:01,301
Who informed you
my name was Leatherpuss?
457
00:45:01,428 --> 00:45:03,034
He did.
458
00:45:04,131 --> 00:45:08,527
My name is Sergeant Finlayson to you
from now on. Now, what do you want?
459
00:45:08,696 --> 00:45:11,486
I was trying to find out
what the general meant...
460
00:45:11,739 --> 00:45:16,387
...when he said about the mysteries...
- A couple of newies, boys.
461
00:45:17,233 --> 00:45:20,022
Not dry behind the ears yet.
462
00:45:22,726 --> 00:45:27,291
- Explain to them what the general meant.
- We'll take care of that.
463
00:45:27,502 --> 00:45:29,277
"Leatherpuss."
464
00:45:29,445 --> 00:45:31,897
I'll remember that.
465
00:45:35,277 --> 00:45:38,108
You tattletale.
466
00:45:51,251 --> 00:45:53,281
"Leatherpuss."
467
00:45:56,237 --> 00:46:00,971
- Why don't you look where you're going!
- I'm sorry, sergeant. I didn't see you.
468
00:46:04,902 --> 00:46:08,494
Hey. Did you see that?
469
00:46:08,747 --> 00:46:12,845
That was one of the things
the general was talking about.
470
00:46:14,198 --> 00:46:16,861
That was one of them mirages.
471
00:46:19,016 --> 00:46:21,974
You know what a mirage is, don't you?
472
00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:29,581
A mirage is something
that you see that isn't there...
473
00:46:29,792 --> 00:46:36,005
...or something that is there,
but you can't see it.
474
00:46:36,216 --> 00:46:39,132
I had one happen to me
just about an hour ago.
475
00:46:39,300 --> 00:46:41,160
On the parade ground, it was.
476
00:46:41,330 --> 00:46:43,273
A fellow comes up to me and he says:
477
00:46:43,485 --> 00:46:47,203
"Look, Danny," says he.
"Here comes the new draft."
478
00:46:47,583 --> 00:46:51,387
"Where?" says I.
"Through the gate," says he.
479
00:46:51,556 --> 00:46:53,669
And I looks up...
480
00:46:53,838 --> 00:46:59,670
...and do you know what?
I couldn't see a blooming thing.
481
00:46:59,797 --> 00:47:03,769
I understand perfectly.
Thanks for tipping us off.
482
00:47:06,559 --> 00:47:08,587
You understand
what they were talking about?
483
00:47:08,714 --> 00:47:10,615
Why, certainly.
484
00:47:11,502 --> 00:47:13,826
Sounds screwy to me.
485
00:47:15,052 --> 00:47:17,758
Why, there's nothing screwy about it.
486
00:47:17,926 --> 00:47:20,292
You heard what the gentleman said.
487
00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:24,815
A mirage is something you see
that isn't there.
488
00:47:25,026 --> 00:47:30,731
Or something that isn't there
that you don't see.
489
00:47:31,196 --> 00:47:32,971
For instance:
490
00:47:33,731 --> 00:47:35,591
There it is.
491
00:47:37,830 --> 00:47:39,353
There it isn't.
492
00:47:39,521 --> 00:47:43,536
Now, it's still there,
but you can't see it.
493
00:47:48,734 --> 00:47:51,523
That's a mirage.
494
00:47:55,580 --> 00:47:58,115
Gee, I'm dumb today.
495
00:48:00,693 --> 00:48:02,552
Today?
496
00:48:23,091 --> 00:48:24,570
Hey.
497
00:48:25,499 --> 00:48:28,204
So you still don't believe it, huh?
498
00:48:29,049 --> 00:48:32,641
All right, I'll prove to you that
there is such a thing as a mirage.
499
00:48:32,768 --> 00:48:36,276
- Where's my accordion?
- In there.
500
00:50:32,278 --> 00:50:34,602
Ladies and gentlemen...
501
00:50:34,729 --> 00:50:36,758
...I have never had
a greater privilege...
502
00:50:36,927 --> 00:50:39,673
...than announcing to you
the engagement of a young lady...
503
00:50:39,844 --> 00:50:43,477
...from bonnie Scotland
whom we've all learned to love:
504
00:50:43,646 --> 00:50:46,182
Miss Lorna McLaurel.
505
00:50:48,590 --> 00:50:51,760
And now to tell you the name
of the lucky man.
506
00:50:51,929 --> 00:50:56,452
It is my old friend and brother officer,
Colonel Gregor McGregor.
507
00:51:00,255 --> 00:51:05,156
Now, let's drink to their long life,
health and happiness.
508
00:51:06,001 --> 00:51:07,734
Lorna. Greg.
509
00:51:08,115 --> 00:51:11,411
You can't do that to me.
You can't.
510
00:51:11,538 --> 00:51:12,679
- Steady.
- Let me go.
511
00:51:12,848 --> 00:51:15,721
Man, are you crazy?
What the devil are you doing here?
512
00:51:15,849 --> 00:51:17,708
You don't understand. Let me go.
513
00:51:17,877 --> 00:51:21,215
Now, another move out of you, and
it'll be guardroom for you, young fellow.
514
00:51:21,469 --> 00:51:23,836
I don't care. Let me go, will you?
515
00:51:24,004 --> 00:51:25,780
Attention.
516
00:51:36,724 --> 00:51:38,374
Take him out.
517
00:51:39,303 --> 00:51:41,712
Oh, Greg. What do you suppose
has happened?
518
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,669
Touch of the sun, I imagine.
Probably one of the new drafts.
519
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:46,191
Poor fellow.
520
00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:53,544
Don't keep doing that.
521
00:51:53,712 --> 00:51:55,827
- You look just like a grasshopper.
- Well, I was...
522
00:51:55,995 --> 00:51:58,742
Now if you're gonna walk with me,
you've got to keep in step.
523
00:51:58,912 --> 00:52:02,545
Now, go back and get in step.
Go on. Get back.
524
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:11,843
- Now, that's better. Come on.
- Hey.
525
00:52:12,730 --> 00:52:15,773
Your pal Douglas wants to see you
right away. Says it's important.
526
00:52:15,983 --> 00:52:19,829
- Where is he?
- He's in the cooler, that's where he is.
527
00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:25,027
- I wonder what he's doing in the cooler.
- I don't blame him. This hot weather.
528
00:52:25,154 --> 00:52:27,520
- I wouldn't mind...
- He's not in there for his health.
529
00:52:27,732 --> 00:52:29,506
He's in trouble. Come on.
530
00:52:33,056 --> 00:52:35,888
Will you get in step?
Try it backwards.
531
00:52:36,056 --> 00:52:38,762
Now, left, left, left.
532
00:52:38,931 --> 00:52:42,776
All right, let's go.
Now you've got it. Fine.
533
00:52:51,777 --> 00:52:53,383
Hey, Alan.
534
00:52:55,369 --> 00:52:57,737
- Hello, fellas.
- What happened?
535
00:52:57,905 --> 00:53:02,258
- I don't know. I kind of lost my head.
- Lost your head?
536
00:53:02,428 --> 00:53:05,555
You didn't lose your head.
It's still there but you can't see it.
537
00:53:05,808 --> 00:53:07,963
- It's one of those things...
- Will you shut up?
538
00:53:08,133 --> 00:53:11,218
- How long you in for?
- They're gonna let me out in a few hours.
539
00:53:11,429 --> 00:53:13,330
- Will you do me a favor?
- Why, certainly.
540
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:15,105
You're the only ones I can trust.
541
00:53:15,232 --> 00:53:18,528
Try and find Lorna and give her this note
as soon as you can.
542
00:53:18,698 --> 00:53:20,134
It's very important.
543
00:53:20,345 --> 00:53:23,684
- We certainly will. Won't we, Stanley?
- We sure will.
544
00:53:23,853 --> 00:53:26,347
- Won't we?
- We cer... Come on, go on.
545
00:53:26,515 --> 00:53:28,459
- Ollie.
- What?
546
00:53:28,628 --> 00:53:30,741
Don't let anyone know about it,
will you?
547
00:53:30,910 --> 00:53:35,136
- Nobody must get that note but Lorna.
- Mum's the word.
548
00:53:35,348 --> 00:53:38,348
- What?
- Mum's the word.
549
00:53:38,897 --> 00:53:41,602
- Goodbye, Alan.
- Goodbye.
550
00:53:47,095 --> 00:53:49,293
You two run along.
I want to talk to Millie.
551
00:53:49,463 --> 00:53:51,786
She's getting beyond me. Millie.
552
00:53:52,336 --> 00:53:54,956
Her Ladyship. Quick, hide.
I'll lose me job.
553
00:53:55,125 --> 00:53:57,493
Quick, in the cupboard. Right there.
554
00:53:57,661 --> 00:54:00,154
Yes, milady. Coming, milady.
555
00:54:00,365 --> 00:54:01,887
Millie.
556
00:54:02,224 --> 00:54:05,056
- Did you call me, Your Ladyship?
- You know I called you.
557
00:54:05,225 --> 00:54:08,606
We're going to watch the polo.
We'll have dinner promptly at 7.
558
00:54:08,732 --> 00:54:12,578
- Yes, milady. Dinner promptly at 7.
- Wait a minute.
559
00:54:13,169 --> 00:54:16,678
Let me impress on you once again:
No entertaining while we're out.
560
00:54:16,889 --> 00:54:20,481
- Milady, I wouldn't think of such a thing.
- Well, I'm warning you.
561
00:54:20,649 --> 00:54:24,241
The colonel may be back any minute.
If he catches you, it's back to England.
562
00:54:24,411 --> 00:54:26,862
- Yes, milady.
- Very well.
563
00:54:29,355 --> 00:54:32,018
Ain't she the high and mighty one.
564
00:54:32,187 --> 00:54:35,399
Denying a little girl a bit of sparking.
565
00:54:38,652 --> 00:54:40,217
- Has she gone?
- Yes, thank goodness.
566
00:54:40,385 --> 00:54:43,597
I thought for a minute the game was up.
She didn't half tell me off.
567
00:54:43,765 --> 00:54:46,048
I heard her.
I was a wee bit afraid myself.
568
00:54:46,217 --> 00:54:49,048
It's a wonder
you didn't hear my knees knocking.
569
00:54:50,189 --> 00:54:52,049
Oh, Millie, l...
570
00:54:58,007 --> 00:55:02,530
I warned you. Pack your things. You're
leaving by the first boat for England.
571
00:55:02,698 --> 00:55:05,361
Give me another chance.
I'll try to do better the next time.
572
00:55:05,530 --> 00:55:07,347
No. I've finished with you.
573
00:55:08,742 --> 00:55:11,066
Well, cast me over the hurdles.
574
00:55:11,234 --> 00:55:15,207
I'll get even with you
if it's the last thing I do.
575
00:55:20,194 --> 00:55:23,913
I beg your pardon, sir, but could you
tell us were we could find Miss Lorna?
576
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,955
- What do you want with Miss McLaurel?
- He's got a note for her.
577
00:55:27,081 --> 00:55:30,167
- You have a note for my ward?
- No, sir.
578
00:55:30,293 --> 00:55:32,279
Why you...
Alan gave it to you in the cell...
579
00:55:32,450 --> 00:55:34,393
Look here, have you a note
or haven't you?
580
00:55:34,562 --> 00:55:36,337
- Yes, sir.
- Give it to me.
581
00:55:39,548 --> 00:55:41,239
You lied to me.
582
00:55:41,746 --> 00:55:43,563
Report at once to Sergeant Finlayson.
583
00:55:43,901 --> 00:55:47,493
As for you, my man,
your actions are commendable.
584
00:55:49,438 --> 00:55:53,621
- You fixed me up pretty, didn't you?
- Well, you shouldn't tell a lie.
585
00:55:53,790 --> 00:55:57,044
The first time that you tell a lie,
it serves you...
586
00:55:57,721 --> 00:55:59,115
- Who did that?
- He did.
587
00:55:59,327 --> 00:56:01,778
- I did nothing...
- Report to Sergeant Finlayson at once.
588
00:56:01,946 --> 00:56:04,144
- You see that he gets there.
- I did nothing of...
589
00:56:04,354 --> 00:56:08,497
- Yes, sir. Thank you.
- I did nothing. I didn't kick...
590
00:56:09,384 --> 00:56:11,962
Vi, who's Alan Douglas?
591
00:56:13,144 --> 00:56:16,315
- Do you know him?
- Alan Douglas?
592
00:56:16,483 --> 00:56:19,146
Why, yes, slightly.
I met him in Scotland.
593
00:56:19,315 --> 00:56:22,273
He's a raw, uncouth sort of boy
who works for Miggs.
594
00:56:22,442 --> 00:56:25,485
- But why all this interest?
- He's here in India.
595
00:56:25,654 --> 00:56:27,852
A private in the regiment.
596
00:56:35,669 --> 00:56:38,798
Oh, but, Greg, you are a simpleton.
597
00:56:38,966 --> 00:56:43,023
This is all so plain to me.
Just a case of puppy love in Scotland.
598
00:56:43,149 --> 00:56:46,531
You know, promises of undying affection
and all that sort of thing.
599
00:56:46,699 --> 00:56:51,306
Then Lorna inherited this money and the
boy thought he might as well be in on it.
600
00:56:51,474 --> 00:56:55,869
Most people would do anything
for L200,000.
601
00:56:56,124 --> 00:56:58,278
Oh, Greg, tear up this note and forget it.
602
00:56:58,490 --> 00:57:02,419
Lorna's told me time and time again
she's forgotten all about this boy.
603
00:57:02,631 --> 00:57:04,829
She loves you
and she's promised to marry you.
604
00:57:04,955 --> 00:57:08,506
- Oh, don't risk a scene.
- It won't do, Vi.
605
00:57:08,674 --> 00:57:10,745
Sooner or later
they're bound to meet.
606
00:57:10,914 --> 00:57:13,068
We'd better get it over with.
607
00:57:13,660 --> 00:57:17,845
- You're not going to give it to her?
- I haven't quite made up my mind yet.
608
00:57:18,013 --> 00:57:21,225
Vi, not a word to Lorna about this.
609
00:57:21,394 --> 00:57:23,423
I want to think this out for myself.
610
00:57:23,549 --> 00:57:24,860
For once.
611
00:57:35,213 --> 00:57:39,397
Greg, you've got to cheer up. The next
thing you know, there will be gossip.
612
00:57:40,031 --> 00:57:41,679
Walla.
613
00:57:41,763 --> 00:57:43,749
What are you going to do?
614
00:57:45,145 --> 00:57:46,581
Miss McLaurel is dancing.
615
00:57:46,792 --> 00:57:49,498
Take this note to her, but don't tell her
where it comes from.
616
00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:51,230
Understand?
617
00:57:53,258 --> 00:57:57,020
Oh, Greg, you fool.
You're risking your own happiness.
618
00:57:57,231 --> 00:57:59,217
I'm thinking of Lorna now.
619
00:58:02,935 --> 00:58:04,626
Pardon me.
620
00:58:07,922 --> 00:58:11,177
- Bad news?
- Oh, no, general.
621
00:58:11,345 --> 00:58:13,458
Wonderful news.
622
00:58:17,812 --> 00:58:20,347
Lorna. Lorna!
623
00:58:23,389 --> 00:58:24,953
Alan.
624
00:58:25,121 --> 00:58:28,798
Yes. Alan. Look at me.
Didn't expect me, did you?
625
00:58:28,968 --> 00:58:31,969
Thought I was thousands of miles away
crying my heart out.
626
00:58:32,137 --> 00:58:33,743
Well, I fooled you. I'm here.
627
00:58:33,913 --> 00:58:37,250
Private Douglas, come to pay
his respects to the colonel's lady.
628
00:58:37,420 --> 00:58:40,082
- Why, you're mad. I won't listen to you.
- Yes, you will.
629
00:58:40,208 --> 00:58:42,829
- But I can explain.
- I've seen and heard enough myself.
630
00:58:42,998 --> 00:58:44,645
The money's gone to your head.
631
00:58:44,857 --> 00:58:47,265
I was fool enough to believe you
because I had faith...
632
00:58:47,392 --> 00:58:49,295
...trusted you when
you were laughing at me.
633
00:58:49,463 --> 00:58:51,493
- Oh, stop it! Stop it!
- I won't stop it.
634
00:58:51,661 --> 00:58:53,352
It isn't true. You must listen to me.
635
00:58:53,479 --> 00:58:56,944
You don't know what you're saying.
You don't understand.
636
00:58:57,071 --> 00:59:01,338
My only wish is that I never see
or hear of you again.
637
01:01:19,275 --> 01:01:21,978
A strong force, Khan Sahib.
638
01:01:22,317 --> 01:01:24,218
Much stronger than I expected.
639
01:01:26,839 --> 01:01:28,782
This calls for strategy.
640
01:01:30,515 --> 01:01:32,333
How are you, Corbett?
Glad to see you.
641
01:01:32,459 --> 01:01:34,150
We're very glad to see you, colonel.
642
01:01:34,319 --> 01:01:36,812
We've been sitting on a powder barrel
for two weeks.
643
01:01:36,981 --> 01:01:39,348
Enough has happened
to make my small force very jumpy.
644
01:01:39,475 --> 01:01:42,094
- We're all glad you're here.
- Thank you.
645
01:01:42,263 --> 01:01:44,165
Dismiss the men.
They need a good rest.
646
01:01:44,334 --> 01:01:46,362
Then call the officers
to the orderly room.
647
01:01:46,489 --> 01:01:49,025
- We'll go to work.
- Sir.
648
01:01:51,180 --> 01:01:55,955
Vi, you knew Alan was here
and didn't tell me. Why? Why?
649
01:01:56,167 --> 01:01:57,688
Come in.
650
01:01:59,167 --> 01:02:01,408
I'll come back, Miss Lorna,
when you're not so busy.
651
01:02:01,618 --> 01:02:05,084
- That's all right, Millie, come in.
- I didn't want to bother you, miss...
652
01:02:05,253 --> 01:02:08,549
...but I'd like to have a few words
with you personally before leaving.
653
01:02:08,677 --> 01:02:10,155
Leaving? What do you mean?
654
01:02:10,324 --> 01:02:13,367
She didn't tell you?
I suspected as much.
655
01:02:13,578 --> 01:02:17,593
We'll, Her Ladyship has discharged me
and I'm on me way to England.
656
01:02:17,761 --> 01:02:21,861
But you've been awfully kind to me,
and it would be hard on me conscience...
657
01:02:21,945 --> 01:02:24,227
...if I didn't tell you something
you ought to know.
658
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:27,524
- Millie, leave the room at once.
- Not until I've had my say.
659
01:02:27,736 --> 01:02:29,636
- How dare you? Leave the room.
- Wait, Vi.
660
01:02:29,807 --> 01:02:31,622
- What is it, Millie?
- Well, Miss Lorna...
661
01:02:31,792 --> 01:02:35,130
...you've wondered why you haven't
heard from your friend in Scotland.
662
01:02:35,341 --> 01:02:39,906
I'll tell you why. She's been taking
your letters, every one of them.
663
01:02:40,328 --> 01:02:43,371
But, Lorna, you can't believe
such a ridiculous story.
664
01:02:43,583 --> 01:02:46,371
- The woman's mad.
- Yes, Your Ladyship, mad.
665
01:02:46,539 --> 01:02:49,836
But you thought you destroyed those
letters, didn't you? Well, you didn't.
666
01:02:50,005 --> 01:02:54,020
Because I fished them out of
the fire coals and here they are.
667
01:02:54,696 --> 01:02:59,218
Now, Your Ladyship,
put that in your pipe and smoke it.
668
01:03:00,359 --> 01:03:02,937
His letters. My letters.
669
01:03:03,191 --> 01:03:05,472
I understand it all now.
670
01:03:05,769 --> 01:03:08,008
But, Lorna, I did it for your good.
671
01:03:08,177 --> 01:03:10,881
- I thought you'd be happy...
- Oh, never mind.
672
01:03:11,093 --> 01:03:14,390
I'm glad I found out
before I ruined Greg's life too.
673
01:03:15,911 --> 01:03:19,165
But it isn't too late.
I'll go to Alan and tell him everything.
674
01:03:21,066 --> 01:03:24,743
But, Lorna, you can't.
He's at Fort Rannu.
675
01:03:26,054 --> 01:03:27,321
This has just arrived, sir.
676
01:03:27,490 --> 01:03:30,575
The messenger's at the gate
and demands an immediate answer.
677
01:03:36,323 --> 01:03:37,801
Well, gentlemen...
678
01:03:37,971 --> 01:03:40,844
...I hope you have no other
social engagement this afternoon.
679
01:03:41,013 --> 01:03:42,662
We are dining with Mir Jutra.
680
01:03:42,788 --> 01:03:45,154
- This afternoon, sir?
- It won't be so bad.
681
01:03:45,325 --> 01:03:48,661
I tell you what. We'll put on our best bib
and tucker and make an impression.
682
01:03:48,831 --> 01:03:50,479
- Eh, Corbett?
- A very good idea, sir.
683
01:03:50,649 --> 01:03:51,958
Gentlemen, get ready.
684
01:03:52,338 --> 01:03:55,382
You fellows got nothing else to do?
Get out of here.
685
01:04:10,384 --> 01:04:12,243
Do that again.
686
01:04:25,766 --> 01:04:27,879
Show me that again.
687
01:04:52,559 --> 01:04:54,545
Hey! Come here!
688
01:04:56,278 --> 01:04:58,390
I thought I told you to clean
this place up.
689
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,025
Well, he told me not to pay any attention
to what you said.
690
01:05:02,405 --> 01:05:05,490
Who's running this army?
You or me?
691
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:10,435
Right. Now get to work! And don't
let me see a speck when I get back.
692
01:05:10,688 --> 01:05:12,844
"Leatherpuss."
693
01:05:24,929 --> 01:05:26,915
Now do it.
694
01:05:53,286 --> 01:05:55,822
Come on, boys.
We'll try number four again.
695
01:05:55,949 --> 01:05:59,455
And for any favor, put some life into it.
696
01:08:56,524 --> 01:08:59,778
- Where did you get this fellow?
- We caught this man mining the gate.
697
01:08:59,946 --> 01:09:01,552
Who sent you?
698
01:09:02,186 --> 01:09:04,131
- Quiet, quiet.
- Quiet.
699
01:09:04,469 --> 01:09:07,427
We made him talk, sir.
We found out everything.
700
01:09:07,554 --> 01:09:09,835
Take him away. Keep him under guard.
701
01:09:10,006 --> 01:09:13,427
- See that he communicates with no one.
- Yes, sir.
702
01:09:14,358 --> 01:09:16,936
- What did you find out?
- Mir Jutra plans to attack Rannu...
703
01:09:17,104 --> 01:09:19,471
...as soon as you and your officers
are at his palace.
704
01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:23,232
- Blowing the gate was to be the signal.
- He's asked for it. He shall have it.
705
01:09:23,402 --> 01:09:25,261
Corbett, call for volunteers.
706
01:09:25,473 --> 01:09:28,938
We'll put them in our uniforms and
send them to the palace in our stead.
707
01:09:29,148 --> 01:09:31,557
Then we'll arrange a reception
for Mir Jutra's men here.
708
01:09:31,768 --> 01:09:34,304
- We'll capture every one of the beggars.
- Very good, sir.
709
01:09:34,472 --> 01:09:37,136
But these volunteers,
they're going to almost certain death.
710
01:09:37,304 --> 01:09:38,825
That's the chance we have to take.
711
01:09:38,996 --> 01:09:43,306
The safety of the border depends upon
smashing this madman once and for all.
712
01:09:44,615 --> 01:09:47,574
Douglas, my boy, I'm proud of you
for being the first to volunteer.
713
01:09:47,954 --> 01:09:51,672
It's a dangerous mission we're going on
and we may never come back.
714
01:09:51,842 --> 01:09:56,110
- What matter?
- Hey, hurry up, you two!
715
01:10:00,082 --> 01:10:02,322
We wanna thank you
for inviting us to this lunch.
716
01:10:02,492 --> 01:10:04,055
Yeah, it sure was nice of you.
717
01:10:04,224 --> 01:10:07,604
You're welcome.
Now, get on your horses and let's go.
718
01:10:07,943 --> 01:10:11,197
- Do we have to ride on horses?
- What do you think they're here for?
719
01:10:11,366 --> 01:10:13,310
Well, I never rode a horse in me life.
720
01:10:13,478 --> 01:10:17,240
All you've got to do is to
get on his back. Come on.
721
01:10:21,847 --> 01:10:25,100
- What are you trying to do?
- He told me I had to get on your back.
722
01:10:25,269 --> 01:10:27,510
He means the horse.
723
01:10:33,637 --> 01:10:35,496
The officers have fallen into our trap.
724
01:10:35,708 --> 01:10:39,468
Get them busy on the gate!
I must beat these dogs to the palace.
725
01:10:42,469 --> 01:10:45,004
May be a messenger from Pellore.
Bring him in.
726
01:10:45,174 --> 01:10:46,483
It's Miss McLaurel, sir.
727
01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:50,118
Miss McLaurel here? lmpossible!
728
01:10:50,921 --> 01:10:53,583
Lorna, dear, what on earth
are you doing here?
729
01:10:55,189 --> 01:10:59,288
Greg, I must see Alan Douglas at once.
At once, do you understand?
730
01:10:59,457 --> 01:11:02,585
- What's happened?
- Your sister held up all my letters.
731
01:11:02,712 --> 01:11:07,022
Made me believe Alan had forgotten me.
But he hasn't, Greg. He hasn't.
732
01:11:07,234 --> 01:11:13,402
I must see him and explain everything.
Now. At once. Do you understand? Now.
733
01:11:14,628 --> 01:11:18,982
Orderly. Bring Private Alan Douglas
here at once.
734
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:22,319
Private Alan Douglas has volunteered
for special duty, sir.
735
01:11:22,912 --> 01:11:24,433
That's all.
736
01:11:25,743 --> 01:11:27,687
Greg, what does he mean?
737
01:11:27,855 --> 01:11:30,095
It means your meeting with Alan
will have to wait.
738
01:11:30,222 --> 01:11:32,926
He's volunteered for a duty
of importance to the service.
739
01:11:33,053 --> 01:11:35,589
- Is there any danger?
- There's always danger here.
740
01:11:35,717 --> 01:11:39,309
I'll make it my job to bring him back
to you safe. We're in for a bit of a fuss.
741
01:11:39,774 --> 01:11:43,027
I want you to remain here in quarters
no matter what happens. You promise?
742
01:11:43,196 --> 01:11:47,380
I promise. Oh, but hurry back.
I'm frightened.
743
01:11:50,423 --> 01:11:52,282
Put a double sentry on this door!
744
01:12:05,087 --> 01:12:08,467
- What are you walking like that for?
- Well, the horse didn't fit me.
745
01:12:08,637 --> 01:12:10,918
Well, straighten up.
You're going to meet royalty.
746
01:12:17,765 --> 01:12:20,215
Salaam, sahib. Colonel McGregor...
747
01:12:20,385 --> 01:12:23,597
...I welcome you and your staff
to my humble home.
748
01:12:23,807 --> 01:12:25,498
Be seated.
749
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:19,675
Colonel McGregor, would you and
your staff join me in a pipe of friendship?
750
01:13:19,929 --> 01:13:22,252
Why, we certainly will.
751
01:13:26,182 --> 01:13:28,507
Well, cheerio.
752
01:14:20,740 --> 01:14:24,883
Remember, not a shot is to be fired
until you get the word. Carry on.
753
01:14:25,009 --> 01:14:26,825
- Very good, sir.
- Very good, sir.
754
01:14:56,999 --> 01:14:59,704
Throw down your arms and surrender!
755
01:15:13,058 --> 01:15:15,382
Let the festivities proceed.
756
01:15:33,215 --> 01:15:35,456
Would you pass the butter?
757
01:15:41,836 --> 01:15:43,189
Well?
758
01:15:43,992 --> 01:15:45,472
Good.
759
01:15:45,852 --> 01:15:47,542
Very good.
760
01:15:48,134 --> 01:15:49,993
Remove the food.
761
01:15:54,008 --> 01:15:56,712
- What's the idea?
- The time for pleasure is done.
762
01:15:56,881 --> 01:15:59,416
- What do you mean?
- I mean that Fort Rannu is no more.
763
01:15:59,586 --> 01:16:02,798
Your comrades are being wiped out.
And ere the sun sinks...
764
01:16:02,966 --> 01:16:07,531
...your bones will join theirs
and lie bleaching in the desert wastes.
765
01:16:12,602 --> 01:16:15,603
Get the boiling oil. Prepare the rack.
766
01:16:15,729 --> 01:16:19,701
- We'll teach these dogs a lesson.
- You'll not take us without a fight.
767
01:16:19,869 --> 01:16:21,475
Seize him!
768
01:16:26,885 --> 01:16:28,703
There is no escape.
769
01:16:30,012 --> 01:16:31,744
Take those.
770
01:16:33,267 --> 01:16:35,210
- What are these for?
- You are to use those...
771
01:16:35,422 --> 01:16:36,942
...to blow your brains out.
772
01:16:37,662 --> 01:16:40,198
- I never blew my brains out before.
- Take him away.
773
01:16:40,451 --> 01:16:43,917
I don't know what...
I don't know what to do.
774
01:16:50,804 --> 01:16:54,777
- Goodbye, Ollie.
- Goodbye, Stanley. I'll see you later.
775
01:16:54,988 --> 01:16:58,284
- I'll be waiting when you get to heaven.
- Well, how will I know you?
776
01:16:58,495 --> 01:17:02,384
I'll be waiting at the gate. And I'll
have on wings and a harp in me hand.
777
01:17:02,637 --> 01:17:04,750
Well, so will all the rest of the angels.
778
01:17:04,835 --> 01:17:08,384
Well, I'll keep me hat on,
then you'll know me.
779
01:17:08,764 --> 01:17:11,259
Enough! Enough of this nonsense.
780
01:17:11,427 --> 01:17:15,231
Proceed, or I shall change my plans.
781
01:17:15,611 --> 01:17:18,780
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Stanley.
782
01:17:22,372 --> 01:17:23,936
Remove the body.
783
01:17:30,655 --> 01:17:33,866
- What happened?
- I missed myself.
784
01:17:34,037 --> 01:17:36,276
Well, I won't miss.
785
01:17:37,417 --> 01:17:40,882
- Khan Sahib! Khan Sahib!
- Speak.
786
01:17:41,094 --> 01:17:42,573
- Allah deserted us.
- What mean you?
787
01:17:42,784 --> 01:17:44,982
Disaster. Colonel McGregor
knew your plans.
788
01:17:45,150 --> 01:17:48,573
He was there and captured
all your warriors to the last man.
789
01:17:48,742 --> 01:17:51,616
Colonel McGregor there?
Then who are you?
790
01:17:51,785 --> 01:17:55,208
Why, I'm Mr. Hardy.
This is my friend, Mr. McLaurel.
791
01:17:55,377 --> 01:17:56,941
We thought we'd come over
and have...
792
01:17:57,152 --> 01:17:58,631
Seize them, men!
793
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:01,294
One more step and I'll shoot!
794
01:18:03,660 --> 01:18:06,068
Don't point that at me.
795
01:19:04,260 --> 01:19:05,697
There they are. Shoot!
796
01:20:20,834 --> 01:20:22,905
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797
01:20:23,075 --> 01:20:25,187
[ENGLISH]
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