Original subtitles

# SONG: Michael O'Duffy - "Little Town in the Ould Country Down" #

# In that dear little town in the old County Down

# It will linger way down in my heart

# Though it never was grand it is my fairy land

# Just a wonderful world set apart

# O my island of dreams you are with me it seems

# And I care not for fame or renown

# Like the black sheep of old I'll come back to the fold

# Little town in the old County...

(beeping)

("Little Town in the Ould Country Down" plays on radio)

# Though it never was grand it is my fairy land

# Just a wonderful world set apart

# O my island of dreams you are with me it seems... #

(radio stops)

# (music)

Subtitles

Is it just me or is she still warm, like?

Subtitles Is it just me or is she still warm, like?

I think it's just you, Father.

How's Lorcan dealing with it all?

He'll be fine.

Suppose he'll be going to live with you over in England, will he?

No.

Our, uh...

Aunt Margaret has agreed to take care of him.

Oh, right...

I see.

I had an Aunt Margaret once...

Trampled by a cow out in Gillygooley, so she was.

Took the head clean off her, like.

Mind you, thon head was some size...

At least a quarter bigger than the average size for a woman of her-

Sorry... Sorry...

Sorry.

That's okay, Father.

Sorry about your Aunt.

Aye.

Sorry about your mother.

Aye.

'Faith of our Father, still living...'

'In spite of dungeon, fire and sword.'

'Faith of our Fathers, holy faith...'

'We will be true to thee til death.'

'We will be true to thee...'

'Til death.'

Now, you boys know where I am.

If there's anything you need, you just let me know.

You can tell your mate Jesus he's a right dickhead.

Lorcan!

No, it's fine, Turlough.

He can be a bit of a dickhead sometimes.

Oh, I almost forgot...

The coroner was rummaging around in your mother's jeans.

After she passed, of course.

We think it's a list of things that she wanted to do...

You know, before the illness took her.

Don't suppose it's of much use to her now?

Unless Jesus is for bringing her back from the dead, Father...

I'd say it's of little to no use at all.

She hasn't left him much to work with...

Now that she's no more than a tub of Bisto, has she?

Can I see the list, Father?

You wouldn't want to be pouring that over your roast potatoes.

You'd be picking her out of your back molars for weeks on end...

Sorry...

Sorry again.

God bless you, boys.

Do people not cook in London?

Why?

Tastes like shite.

Well, Aunty Margaret's cooking's better than mine, so...

You'll be grand.

I've told you, I'm not going to Aunty Margaret's.

It's not up for debating.

I'm not debating, I'm telling you.

I'm staying here to look after the farm.

It's you who needs looking after, not the feckin' farm.

So you're going to Aunty Margaret's...

'Cos I'm not getting stuck here for the rest of my life...

Mothering you!

I don't need your mothering!

I need you to feck back off to England you big, feckin' ape!

Lorcan!

I'm not to be telling you again, we have to go!

Lorcan!

We're late...

Lorcan, I'm not for pissing about.

Lorcan?

He's, uh five...five-six...

Five-three. Five-three or thereabouts...

He's got a beard on him.

Look, I can send you a photo.

Well, no, I'm not his guardian. I'm his brother...

Listen. He really shouldn't be out there on his own...

And I'm very worried about what might happen to him if he's left unsupervised for too...

Oi!

Lorcan!

Lorcan... the hell are you doing?

Hummmmm...

Tai Chi...

What?

What the hell are you doing that for?

Mum's list.

'Number One: Learn Tai Chi.'

Please tell me you are joking?

Does it look like I'm feckin' joking?

Father O'Shea gave it to me.

Look, we're late for taking you to Aunty Margaret's, come on.

I'm not going anywhere until Mum's done every single wish.

She wanted to do them while she was still living y'eejit, ye.

Not from beyond the grave.

And waving her about like some sort of a feckin' banshee...

Isn't going to make much difference to her now, is it?

And it's not going to bring her back, neither.

Uh, look, Lorcan...

I just thought it would be nice...

Just me, you and Mum's dying wishes.

Okay!

Okay! Okay!

Christ...

We do Mum's list, and then we go to Aunty Margarets. Deal?

Deal.

Right, how many's on there?

One-hundred.

A hu... A hundred? Lorcan, no, come here!

'All The Things I Would Like To Do Before I Perish'

by Grainne McCaffrey.

Number One...

Learn Tai Chi.

You farted?

Shhhhh.

Shush? Did you fart?

That's stinking, Lorcan!

Number Two: Read A Classic Novel.

And the Lord said unto Cain... 'Why art thou wroth?'

Wroth!

'And why is thou countenance fallen?'

Fallen!

Lorcan.

Lorcan!

Number Eight...

Model For A Life-Drawing Class.

Lorcan, will you hurry up with your picture?

Oi!

Oi!

Seventeen...

Take myself on one of those 'Hot Air Balloon' rides.

I told you to stop that!

Ah! Ah!

Thirty-Four...

Easy... Easy...

Yeo!

Lorcan!

Fifty-One...

Sixty-Eight...

Eighty-Two...

Catch it!

Turlough?

Turlough?

We're just outside Glenmornan...

Four-bedroom farmhouse.

A-hundred-and-fifty acres.

Well, I'm open to offers, honestly...

I just want to get it over and done with...

Yeah...

Yeah, Monday?

Okay, well I'll ring on Monday morning and...

Ninety-Nine...

Skydiving.

I'm really not sure about this one.

It's fine.

Right...

No, look...

I'm sure Mum won't mind if we miss one out of a hundred, will she?

If the woman wants to skydive, just let her skydive.

Right, sure, but let's just think this one through for a wee minute!

You put me off.

Jesus Christ, Lorcan, grow up!

You want to take care of the farm and you can't even take care of a glorified feckin' teapot!

God, you're such an eejit.

I'm not an eejit.

How do you think Mum would feel about you treating her remains this way?

How would she feel about you selling her farm?

Did you think it was just going to sit here gathering dust?

What's the point in a house if no one wants to live in it?

I want to live in it, ye dick!

Lorcan, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Taking my half of Mum.

Stop it.

Stop it. Stop that now.

Stop it and give me that - stop it, Lorcan!

Get your hands off me, ye dick!

I think you'd better pack your things.

Subtitles

Sorry I'm late...

Subtitles Sorry I'm late...

I had Mary Carey in confession. All got a bit dark...

Those poor pigeons.

Ready, Lorcan?

Where are you going?

I'm getting my coat, if that's okay with you, Mum?

Thanks again for doing this, Father.

Lorcan!

Don't be keeping Father O'Shea waiting, now!

It's fine, Turlough...

Let the lad say his goodbyes to the place.

Getting a bit experimental, were we?

No...

That was Lorcan.

Roped me into doing all that shite off Mum's list.

You might've warned me before you gave it to him.

I didn't give it to him.

What?

I thought you said you didn't want it?

Dear Jesus, Mary, and all the Saints...

I may have done a bad thing.

If Mum is in heaven...

Tell her... I am sorry...

And tell her I miss her too.

I probably won't speak to you again...

Until the next time something goes tits up.

I hope that's okay.

Can I have a word?

I've just been speaking with Father O'Shea...

About Mum's list...

All those ridiculous things we did.

I know.

You know what the worst thing about it is?

Turlough, I know, and I am sorry-

The worst thing about it is...

We didn't even finish it.

Finish it?

Well...

We can't stop at ninety-nine, can we?

What would Mum think?

One-hundred...

Go Into Outer Space.

Go on, Ma!

Go on ye girl, ye!

Go on!

Have you sold the house yet?

Not yet, no.

Are you gonna?

What're you doing?

'Number one-hundred...

And one.'

Lorcan...

'My final wish is for my two boys, Lorcan and Turlough...

To be bestest mates again.

And for Turlough to move back home to Ireland...

'Cos, sure, the English are no craic at all.

And also, to stay on the farm with Lorcan...

And then, maybe, take up some cooking lessons.'

Okay.

I get it.

I'll think about it.

I miss her, like.

Yeah, me too.

You farted again?

No!

It's the cows.

Cows...

Cows, my arse.

Lorcan, that's stinking!

Okay...

It's me.

Sing me a song.

'I'll tell me Ma, when I get home...'

'The boys won't leave the girls alone...'

'They pull me hair, stole my comb...'

'That's alright, when I get home.'

'She is handsome, she is pretty...'

'She is the Belle of Belfast City...'

'She's a-courting one, two, three...'

'Please would you tell me... Both: ..who is she?'