Original subtitles

- NARRATOR: Every state has its folklore, tall tales, and legends,

but sometimes there is a darker story--

a tale not so much told, as whispered.

[cell door opening]

- Jesus fucking Christ! Can you turn the heater on?

[door closes]

- COP: We'll look into it.

OK, let's try this again.

- There was an accident out on 91.

The road was blocked for three maybe four hours,

pushed my delivery late.

I never much liked comin' out here at night, you know?

To tell you the truth, I never much liked comin' out here at all.

You hear all the stories, you know, ever since you're a kid...

all fucking crazy shit that happened-- - COP: Mr. Lundstrom.

[sighs]

- I was just trying to help.

- MAN IN MASK: End of the road, boys.

On your knees, now!

- MAN 2 IN MASK: Hey, he said bend the knee, fuck-knuckle.

- Welcome to rush week, gentlemen.

This is Grey Cloud Island,

the most haunted stretch of land in all of Minnesota.

Tonight, you and your fellow pledge brothers

will have to survive the night and lean on each other.

Kappas never run, never hide, Kappas till you die!

- ALL: Never run, never hide, Kappa till I die.

- Oh, they'll run and they'll hide, I'd bet on it.

- Now, you have two choices--

either follow this road out here,

all 12 miles of it back across the bridge, where we'll be waiting--

it should only take you four, five hours or so--

[chuckles] or you can take that short-cut there...

cut your journey in half...

but only if you're man enough.

- On your feet, now! Phones, hand 'em over.

[jeers mockingly]

[man 2 in mask chuckles]

- KAPPA 1: Thanks. - MAN IN MASK: Oh...

[man 2 in mask laughs]

- Oops.

[KAPPA 1 sighs]

My money is on you to washout first.

Oh, almost forgot. In case you guys get lost.

See you on the other side, fish. - Have a good night, boys.

[sighs]

- Uh...

Hey, what's that map say?

- KAPPA 3: Oh, fuck!

- KAPPA 4: It says they're dicks. Total dicks.

- Well, I mean, we should probably get going. So...

Well, I mean... - We can go the long way

or we can go back.

Keep it for, uh, later. - KAPPA 4: It's quicker this way.

- KAPPA 3: See ya.

- Yeah... Yeah, right. I was-- I was just...

Gonna get eaten alive out here.

- KAPPA 4: Wait, what?

- KAPPA 1: Hey, wait up, guys.

So, how far do we got to go?

- I don't know, check the dick map.

[chuckles]

- And what happened to getting us black-out drunk

and putting diapers on our head and shit like that?

What kind of initiation drops you off in the middle of an Indian burial ground?

- "Indian burial ground"?

I thought there was supposed to be, like, some headless chick roaming the woods...

looking for a replacement--

yours! [laughs]

- Hey, my favorite's the one - KAPPA 1: Dick.

- about the phantom white pick-up truck that runs people down.

- Oh, OK... so--so which is it? The Indian burial ground,

the phantom truck, or the headless woman?

- Oh, almost forgot...

Somewhere around here, there's supposed to be the eighth gateway to Hell.

- No, dude, urban legends.

- I think the Indian burial grounds are real, actually.

It's how this place got its name.

Grey Cloud's whole family is buried out here.

- OK, right, so, a bunch of Indians are buried out here

and then it's supposed to be haunted?

- They're just stories, dude.

That's all. You know, probably designed to keep people like you out.

- Keep 'em out from what? There's nothing out here but mosquitoes.

- And inbreeding.

Seriously, I can't believe people live out here.

- Well, we can't all afford houses in Edina.

- [laughs] - [twig breaks]

- Fuck, you hear that?

- KAPPA 3: It's Grey Cloud's ghost, dude.

- KAPPA 1: Yeah, very fucking funny! - KAPPA 2: Hey--

What the hell? - KAPPA 3: Shut up out for a second.

Somebody out there?

- Uh...

OK, um... I think we should head back. [chuckles nervously]

[screams]

- KAPPA 4: Oh, jeez.

- KAPPA 1: Fuck! Fuck! - [KAPPA 4 chuckling]

- KAPPA 4: Damn, dude, you all right? - KAPPA 1: Yeah, just--

- KAPPA 4: Didn't hurt your vagina, did you?

- KAPPA 1: OK, shut up.

- KAPPA 3: Is this like a-- It's like a totem pole?

- KAPPA 1: No. And totem poles are Native American. This is something else.

- Guys, look...

[gasps]

[slow, eerie music]

- Well, that's them. - Them who?

- The--The same two assholes with the, uh, ski-masks.

I mean, think about it.

They brought us out here in the middle of nowhere,

they expect us to, like, turn on each other...

or run.

They just wanna make sure that we're Kap material.

- Maybe he's right.

- Yes, of course, I'm right. Here. Give me-- Give me this.

Follow me and-- Oh, gentlemen,

prepare... prepare to be initiated.

- Just go. - As you were.

- Come on. - Let's go.

- Shit... Initiated or disappointed?

- KAPPA 2: This place smells like ass.

- Does this look like Kappa to you?

- Let's see what's behind door number one. - KAPPA 4: Can't wait, dude.

- Oh, Jesus!

- What the hell?