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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:33,774 02 Monty Python And The Holy Grail - 1975 [H264-mp4] English 2 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,299 [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING ] 3 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:03,917 [ RECORD PLAYER SLOWING TO A STOP ] 4 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,590 [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC RESUMES ] 5 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,471 [ RECORD PLAYER SLOWING TO A STOP ] 6 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:26,230 [ SENTIMENTAL VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING ] 7 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,899 [ RECORD PLAYER SLOWING TO A STOP ] 8 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,314 [ RECORD PLAYER WINDS UP ] 9 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:17,581 [ LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING ] 10 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,484 [ WIND HOWLING ] 11 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:02,076 [ HOOFBEATS APPROACHING ] 12 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,182 Whoa, there! 13 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,012 [ BIRD CAWING ] 14 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,319 GUARD 1 I Halt! 15 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,197 GUARD 2: Who goes there? 16 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:44,623 It is I, Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. 17 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,879 King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons. 18 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,711 Sovereign of all England! 19 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,635 GUARD 12 Pull the other one. 20 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,010 I am, and this is my trusty servant, Patsy. 21 00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,884 We have ridden the length of the land in search of knights 22 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,390 who will join me in my court at Camelot. 23 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,890 I must speak with your lord and master. 24 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,687 What? Ridden on a horse? 25 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:08,855 Yes. 26 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,060 You're using coconuts! 27 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,228 What? 28 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,234 You've got two empty halves of coconut, 29 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,232 and you're banging them together. 30 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:19,240 So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. 31 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,454 Through the Kingdom of Mercia. 32 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,323 Where did you get the coconuts? 33 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,623 We found them. 34 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,919 Found them? In Mercia? The coconut is tropical. 35 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,713 What do you mean? 36 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,085 Well, this is a temperate zone. 37 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,508 The swallow may fly south with the sun, 38 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:34,863 or the house martin or the plover 39 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,046 may seek warmer climes in winter, 40 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,264 yet these are not strangers to our land. 41 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,635 Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? 42 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,182 Not at all. They could be carried. 43 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:48,186 What? A swallow carrying a coconut? 44 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,108 It could grip it by the husk. 45 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,777 It's not a question of where he grips it. 46 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,280 It's a simple question of weight ratio. 47 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,948 A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut. 48 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,870 It doesn't matter. Go tell your master 49 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,948 that Arthur from Camelot is here. 50 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,578 GUARD: In order to maintain air-speed velocity, 51 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:14,462 a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right? 52 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,460 Please! Am I right? 53 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,342 I'm not interested. 54 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,556 GUARD 2: It could be carried by an African swallow. 55 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,468 GUARD 1: Oh, yes! An African swallow, maybe. 56 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,887 Not a European swallow. That's my point. 57 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,222 I agree with that. 58 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:32,651 Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot? 59 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:36,697 But then, of course, African swallows are non-migratory. 60 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,318 GUARD 2: Oh, yes. 61 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,987 They couldn't bring a coconut, anyway. 62 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:44,245 GUARD 3: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together? 63 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,998 GUARD 4: No, they'd have to have it on a line. 64 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,535 GUARD 3: Simple. They'd use a strand of creeper. 65 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,208 Held under the dorsal guiding feathers? 66 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,334 Why not? 67 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,837 MAN: Bring out your dead! 68 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,511 [ PEOPLE SOBBING ] 69 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:04,799 [ CLANGING ] 70 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,846 [ CLANGING ] 71 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,611 [ COUGHING ] 72 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:29,824 Ninepence. 73 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,623 [ MEN MOANING ] 74 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,637 Bring out your dead. 75 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:51,809 Here's one. 76 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,147 Ninepence. 77 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,816 I'm not dead! What? 78 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,393 Nothing. Here's your ninepence. 79 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,568 I'm not dead! 80 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,736 He says he's not dead. 81 00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,904 Yes, he is. 82 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,482 I'm not! He isn't? 83 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,816 He will be soon. He's very ill. 84 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,151 I'm getting better! 85 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,986 You'll be stone dead in a moment. 86 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,743 I can't take him like that. It's against regulations. 87 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,415 I don't want to go on the cart. 88 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,166 Don't be such a baby. 89 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,289 I can't take him. 90 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,415 I feel fine. 91 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,495 Well, do us a favour. 92 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,578 I can't. 93 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,249 Can you hang around a few minutes? He won't be long. 94 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,051 Got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today. 95 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,925 When's your next round? Thursday. 96 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,802 I think I'll go for a walk. 97 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,765 You're not fooling anyone, you know. 98 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,263 Isn't there something you can do? 99 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:33,017 I feel happy. 100 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,222 [ GRUNTS ] 101 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,648 Thanks very much. 102 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,142 Not at all. See you on Thursday. 103 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,317 Right. 104 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,649 Who's that, then? 105 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,195 I don't know. Must be a king. 106 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,700 Why? 107 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,098 He hasn't got shit all over him. 108 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,595 Old woman! Man! 109 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,479 Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? 110 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,646 I'm 37. 111 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:19,855 What? 112 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,986 I'm 37. I'm not old. 113 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,980 I can't just call you "man." 114 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,486 You could say "Dennis." 115 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,088 I didn't know you were called Dennis. 116 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,823 You didn't bother to find out. 117 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,655 I did say sorry about the "old woman," but from behind... 118 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,992 What I object to is that you treat me like an inferior. 119 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,493 Well, I am king. 120 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,995 King? Very nice. 121 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,422 How did you get that? By exploiting the workers! 122 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:45,256 By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates 123 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:48,339 the economic and social differences in our society! 124 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,423 If there's ever going to be any progress... 125 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,596 There's some lovely filth down here. 126 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,676 Oh! 127 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,185 How do you do? 128 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,265 How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. 129 00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,474 Whose castle is that? 130 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,771 King of the who? 131 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:01,942 The Britons. 132 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,019 Who are the Britons? 133 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,273 We all are. We're all Britons. And I am your king. 134 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,320 Didn't know we had a king. 135 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,197 I thought we were an autonomous collective. 136 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,120 You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. 137 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,291 A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class... 138 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,869 There you go. Bringing class into it again. 139 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,125 That's what it's all about. If only people... 140 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,465 Please, good people. I am in haste. 141 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,750 Who lives in that castle? 142 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,377 No one lives there. 143 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,507 Who is your lord? 144 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,463 We don't have a lord. What? 145 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,721 I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. 146 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:37,308 We take turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. 147 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,434 Yes. 148 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,981 But all the decisions of that officer 149 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,979 are ratified at a biweekly meeting. 150 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,105 Yes, I see. 151 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,403 By a majority in the case of internal affairs. 152 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,479 Be quiet! 153 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,691 By a two-thirds majority in the case of... 154 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,988 Be quiet! I order you to be quiet. 155 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,495 "Order." Who does he think he is? 156 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:54,822 IWam your king! 157 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,198 I didn't vote for you. 158 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,078 You don't vote for kings. 159 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,746 How did you become king then? 160 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,334 The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad 161 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,290 in the purest shimmering samite, 162 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,502 held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, 163 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,508 signifying, by divine providence, 164 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,011 that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. 165 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,009 That is why I'm your king! 166 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:19,062 Listen. Strange women lying in ponds, 167 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,639 distributing swords, is no basis 168 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:24,022 for a system of government. Supreme executive power 169 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,319 derives from a mandate from the masses. 170 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,689 Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. 171 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,863 Be quiet! 172 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,034 You can't expect to wield supreme executive power 173 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,703 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you. 174 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,030 Shut up! 175 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,036 If I went around saying I was an emperor 176 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,243 because some moistened bint had lobbed 177 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,420 a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! 178 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,542 Will you shut up? 179 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,624 See the violence inherent in the system. 180 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,508 Shut up! 181 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,378 See the violence inherent in the system! 182 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,387 Help, I'm being repressed! 183 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,555 Bloody peasant! 184 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,054 What a give-away. Did you hear that? 185 00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,228 That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? 186 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,528 [ KNIGHTS GRUNTING ] 187 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,329 [ KNIGHTS SHOUTING ] 188 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,668 [ GRUNTING ] 189 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:40,802 [ SHOUTING ] 190 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,191 [ BOTH GRUNTING ] 191 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,235 [ GROANING ] 192 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:00,989 [ GROANING ] 193 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,927 [ SHOUTING ] 194 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,017 [ GURGLING ] 195 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:22,385 [ THUDDING ] 196 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,074 You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. 197 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,412 I am Arthur, King of the Britons. 198 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,919 I seek the finest and bravest knights 199 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,259 in the land to join me in Camelot. 200 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:03,059 You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? 201 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,776 You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy. 202 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,774 None shall pass. 203 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,239 What? None shall pass. 204 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,741 I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, 205 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,659 but I must cross this bridge. 206 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,954 Then you shall die. 207 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:27,792 I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside. 208 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,671 I move for no man. 209 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,673 So be it! 210 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,469 [ BELLOWS MENACINGLY ] 211 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:46,061 [ SHOUTING ] 212 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,495 Now, stand aside, worthy adversary. 213 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,116 'Tis but a scratch. 214 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,785 "A scratch"? Your arm's off. 215 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,998 No, it isn't. 216 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,283 Well, what's that, then? 217 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,836 I've had worse. You liar. 218 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,538 Come on, you pansy! 219 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,844 [ SHOUTING ] 220 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,964 Victory is mine. 221 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,767 We thank thee, Lord, that in thy... 222 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:27,844 [ GRUNTS ] 223 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,854 Come on, then. What? 224 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,396 Have at you. 225 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,568 You are brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine. 226 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,236 Oh! Had enough, eh? 227 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,815 Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left. 228 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,366 Yes, I have. Look! 229 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,277 Just a flesh wound. 230 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,864 Look, stop that. Chicken! 231 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,450 I'll have your leg. Right! 232 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,328 Right! I'll do you for that. 233 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,580 You'll what? 234 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,040 Come here. 235 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,583 What are you going to do? Bleed on me? 236 00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,963 I am invincible! 237 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,427 You're a loony. 238 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,845 The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you! 239 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,135 Come on, then. 240 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,764 [ MUMBLING ] 241 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,483 All right, we'll call it a draw. 242 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,393 Come, Patsy. 243 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,899 Oh, oh, I see. 244 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,899 Running away? You yellow bastard! 245 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,118 Come back here and take what's coming to you! 246 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,362 I'll bite your legs off! 247 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,878 MONKS: A' Pie Jesu Domine 248 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:39,875 ♪ Dona eis requiem ♪ 249 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,375 [ CHURCH BELL RINGS ] 250 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,264 ♪ Pie Jesu Domine ♪ 251 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:52,770 ♪ Dona eis requiem a' ♪ 252 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,072 WOMAN: A witch! MAN: We found a witch. 253 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,452 [ PEOPLE CLAMORING ] 254 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,112 We got a witch. 255 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,285 We found a witch. 256 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,584 We've got a witch. 257 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,996 Burn her! 258 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:23,134 [ CLAMOR APPROACHING ] 259 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,340 We have found a witch. May we burn her? 260 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,263 ALL: Burn her! 261 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,395 How do you know she is a witch? 262 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,014 She looks like one. 263 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:37,814 [ PEOPLE AGREEING ] 264 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,525 Bring her forward. 265 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,482 I am not a witch. 266 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,731 But you are dressed as one. 267 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,449 They dressed me up like this. 268 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,909 ALL: We didn't! 269 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,578 [ SPEAKING NASALLY ] And this isn't my nose. It's a false one. 270 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,241 Well? 271 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,367 Well, we did do the nose. 272 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,578 The nose? 273 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,080 And the hat. But she is a witch. 274 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:03,378 ALL: Burn her! 275 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,335 Did you dress her up like this? 276 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,428 ALL: No. Yes. 277 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:12,092 Yes, a bit. She has got a wart. 278 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,557 What makes you think she is a witch? 279 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,646 Well, she turned me into a newt. 280 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,224 A newt? 281 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,772 I got better. 282 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,319 Burn her anyway. 283 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,692 Burn her! 284 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,451 Quiet! 285 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,283 There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. 286 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,661 Are there? What are they? Tell us. 287 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,412 Do they hurt? 288 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,795 Tell me, what do you do with witches? 289 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,335 ALL: Burn them! 290 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,217 What do you burn apart from witches? 291 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,136 More witches! 292 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,215 Shh! 293 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,180 Wood. 294 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,019 So, why do witches burn? 295 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,698 'Cause they're made of wood? 296 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,032 Good. 297 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,152 [ PEOPLE MURMURING ] 298 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,705 So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood? 299 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,200 Build a bridge out of her. 300 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:22,583 Ah! Can you not also make bridges of stone? 301 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,710 Oh, yeah. 302 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,209 Does wood sink in water? 303 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,714 No. 304 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,007 It floats. 305 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,805 Throw her into the pond! 306 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,431 [ ALL SHOUTING ] 307 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,685 What also floats in water? 308 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:39,887 Bread. 309 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,847 Apples. Uh, very small rocks. 310 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,980 Cider. Cherries. Gravy. Mud. 311 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,236 Churches. Lead. 312 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:48,483 A duck! 313 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:51,903 Exactly. 314 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,361 So, logically... 315 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,488 If she 316 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,662 weighs the same as a duck... 317 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,712 She's made of wood. 318 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,255 And, therefore... 319 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,925 A witch! A witch! 320 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,849 We shall use my largest scales. 321 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:31,315 [ ALL CLAMORING IMPATIENTLY ] 322 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,706 Right. Remove the supports! 323 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,087 ALL: A witch! 324 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,795 It's a fair cop. Burn her! 325 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,676 [ ALL SHOUTING ] 326 00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:01,056 Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science? 327 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:02,811 I am Arthur, King of the Britons. 328 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,521 My liege. 329 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,313 Good Sir Knight, will you come to Camelot, 330 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,857 and join us at the Round Table? 331 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,531 My liege, I would be honored. 332 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,365 What is your name? 333 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,741 Bedevere, my liege. 334 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,912 Then I dub you Sir Bedevere, 335 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,703 knight of the Round Table. 336 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,955 NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights. 337 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,916 But other illustrious names were soon to follow. 338 00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,255 Sir Lancelot the Brave. 339 00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:35,969 Sir Galahad the Pure. 340 00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:39,758 And Sir Robin, the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, 341 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,093 who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, 342 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,271 who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, 343 00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:49,101 and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill. 344 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:52,820 And the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. 345 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,948 Together they formed a band 346 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:59,869 whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries. 347 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:02,408 The Knights of the Round Table. 348 00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:06,497 That, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped. 349 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:09,044 This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. 350 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,996 Explain again how sheep's bladders 351 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,957 may be employed to prevent earthquakes. 352 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,040 Certainly, sir. 353 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,084 Look, my liege. 354 00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,931 Camelot. Camelot. 355 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,138 Camelot. It's only a model. 356 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,343 Shh! 357 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,513 Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. 358 00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,270 Let us ride to Camelot! 359 00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:32,185 [ LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING ] 360 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,895 ♪ We're knights ♪ ♪ of the Round Table ♪ 361 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,400 ♪ We dance whene'er we're able ♪ 362 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:38,574 ♪ We do routines and chorus ♪ ♪ scenes With footwork impeccable ♪ 363 00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:41,949 ♪ We dine well here in Camelot We ♪ ♪ eat ham and jam and Spam a lot ♪ 364 00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:50,384 ♪ We're knights ♪ ♪ of the Round Table ♪ 365 00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,955 Our shows are formidable 366 00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:55,462 ♪ But many times ♪ ♪ We're given rhymes ♪ 367 00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:58,420 ♪ That are quite unsingable ♪ ♪ We're opera mad in Camelot ♪ 368 00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:01,847 ♪ We sing from ♪ ♪ the diaphragm a lot ♪ 369 00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:05,259 [ MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY ] 370 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:15,611 [ RHYTHMIC CLANGING ] 371 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:18,197 ♪ In war we're tough and able ♪ 372 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:21,242 ♪ Quite indefatigable ♪ 373 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:23,903 ♪ Between our quests ♪ ♪ We sequin vests ♪ 374 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:27,206 ♪ And impersonate Clark Gable ♪ ♪ It's a busy life in Camelot ♪ 375 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:31,623 ♪ I have to push ♪ ♪ the pram a lot 4' ♪ 376 00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:40,002 No, on second thoughts, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. 377 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,337 Right. 378 00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:50,472 [ THUNDER RUMBLING ] 379 00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:53,979 Arthur. 380 00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:55,776 King of the Britons. 381 00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:00,231 Oh, don't grovel. If there's one thing I can't stand, 382 00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:01,361 it's people grovelling. 383 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,158 Sorry. And don't apologize. 384 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,486 Every time I talk to someone 385 00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,209 it's "sorry this," and, "forgive me that," 386 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,906 and, "I'm not worthy." 387 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,370 What are you doing now? 388 00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:11,784 I'm averting my eyes, O Lord. 389 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,666 Don't. It's like those miserable psalms. 390 00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:16,418 They're so depressing. 391 00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:18,374 Now, knock it off! Yes, Lord. 392 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:21,961 Right. Arthur, King of the Britons. 393 00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,172 Your knights of the Round Table shall have a task 394 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:27,974 to make them an example in these dark times. 395 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,347 Good idea, O Lord! 396 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:30,765 Course it's a good idea. 397 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:35,191 Behold, Arthur, this is the Holy Grail. 398 00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:40,063 Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this grail. 399 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,732 That is your purpose, Arthur. 400 00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:46,402 The quest for the Holy Grail. 401 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,415 A blessing from the Lord. 402 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,410 God be praised! 403 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:54,060 Halt! 404 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:03,858 [ HORN BLARING ] 405 00:26:05,022 --> 00:26:06,148 Hello! 406 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,823 Hello! 407 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,080 [ IN FRENCH ACCENT ] Hello. Who is it? 408 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:22,005 It is King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table. 409 00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:23,711 Whose castle is this? 410 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:27,216 This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard. 411 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:31,383 Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God 412 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,934 with a sacred quest. 413 00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:36,603 If he will give us food and shelter for the night, 414 00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:39,557 he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. 415 00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:43,064 Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. 416 00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:45,233 He's already got one, you see. 417 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:47,568 What? 418 00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:48,969 He says they've already got one! 419 00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,115 Are you sure he's got one? 420 00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:54,034 Oh, yes. It's very nice. 421 00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:57,078 I told him we've already got one. 422 00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:58,283 [ SNICKERING ] 423 00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,535 Uh, um... 424 00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,338 Can we come up and have a look? 425 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:04,548 Of course not! You are English-types. 426 00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:07,255 Well, what are you then? 427 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:08,468 I'm French. 428 00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:12,549 Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king? 429 00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:14,550 What are you doing in England? 430 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,218 Mind your own business. 431 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,729 If you will not show us the Grail, 432 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,645 we shall take your castle by force. 433 00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:24,897 You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! 434 00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:29,444 Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. 435 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:33,611 I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King. 436 00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:37,911 You and all your silly English knights. 437 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:42,086 [ RAZZING ] 438 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,415 What a strange person. 439 00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,175 Now look here, my good man... 440 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,628 I don't want to talk to you no more, 441 00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:54,219 you empty-headed, animal food-trough wiper. 442 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:57,343 I fart in your general direction. 443 00:27:57,843 --> 00:28:02,770 Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. 444 00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:07,694 Is there someone else up there we could talk to? 445 00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:11,649 No. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time. 446 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:17,701 Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable... 447 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,243 Fetchez la vache! Quoi? 448 00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:20,791 Fetchez la vache! 449 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,255 If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall... 450 00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:28,173 [ BOINGING ] [ cow MOOING ] 451 00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:29,545 Jesus Christ! 452 00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:31,877 Crikey! 453 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:32,961 [ GRUNTS ] 454 00:28:34,504 --> 00:28:36,802 Right! Charge! 455 00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:41,224 [ CATAPULT FIRING ] 456 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:46,145 [ JEERING VICIOUSLY ] 457 00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:50,896 [ CAT YOWLING ] 458 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,029 Run away! Run away! 459 00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:55,947 [ KNIGHTS SHOUTING ] 460 00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:01,161 [ RAZZING ] 461 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:05,736 Fiends! I'll tear them apart. 462 00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:06,878 No, no. 463 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,919 Sir, I have a plan, sir. 464 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:18,178 [ WIND BLOWING ] 465 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,725 [ SAWING ] 466 00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:27,520 [ CLATTERING ] 467 00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:35,741 [ CAT YOWLING ] 468 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:38,527 [ SQUEAKING ] 469 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,112 [ CREAKING ] 470 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:44,701 [ MECHANICAL WHIRRING ] 471 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:54,127 [ METAL CLAN KING ] 472 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,524 [ RUMBLING APPROACHING ] 473 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,171 [ GUARD 1 SPEAKING FRENCH ] 474 00:30:45,427 --> 00:30:46,519 GUARD 1: Un cadeau. GUARD 2: What? 475 00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:47,596 A present. Un cadeau. 476 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,182 Oui, allons-y. Let's go. 477 00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:04,162 [ FRENCH GUARDS CHATTERING ] 478 00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:13,622 [ CASTLE DOOR CLOSES ] 479 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,378 What happens now? 480 00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:20,384 Well, now, Lancelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, 481 00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:24,972 and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise. 482 00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:28,141 Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! 483 00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:30,354 Who leaps out? 484 00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:33,608 Uh, Lancelot, Galahad, and I 485 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,649 leap out of the rabbit. 486 00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:39,022 [ MOANS ] 487 00:31:41,358 --> 00:31:42,359 Um... 488 00:31:42,526 --> 00:31:45,655 Look. If we built this large, wooden badger... 489 00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:47,823 [ CATAPULT FIRES ] 490 00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:52,036 ALL: Run away! 491 00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,668 [ ALL SHOUTING ] 492 00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,009 History for Schools. Take 8. 493 00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:04,388 DIRECTOR: Action! 494 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,683 Defeat at the castle seems to have 495 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,677 utterly disheartened King Arthur. 496 00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:11,308 The ferocity of the French taunting 497 00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:13,516 took him completely by surprise. 498 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:18,191 Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required 499 00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:20,481 if the quest for the Holy Grail were 500 00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,733 to be brought to a successful conclusion. 501 00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:25,702 Arthur, having consulted his closest knights 502 00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,163 decided that they should separate, 503 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,374 and search for the Grail individually. 504 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,583 [ HOOFBEATS APPROACHING ] Now, this is what they did... 505 00:32:32,742 --> 00:32:33,743 [ BELLOWING ] 506 00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:36,963 Frank! 507 00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:47,682 [ NARRATOR READING ] 508 00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:51,471 So, each of the knights went their separate ways. 509 00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:55,061 Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, 510 00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:57,814 accompanied by his favourite minstrels. 511 00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:02,781 ♪ MINSTREL: Bravely bold Sir ♪ ♪ Robin Rode forth from Camelot ♪ 512 00:33:03,565 --> 00:33:07,615 ♪ He was not afraid to die ♪ ♪ O, Brave Sir Robin ♪ 513 00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:11,911 ♪ He was not at all afraid ♪ ♪ To be killed in nasty ways ♪ 514 00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:15,081 ♪ Brave, brave, brave, ♪ ♪ brave Sir Robin ♪ 515 00:33:16,786 --> 00:33:20,586 ♪ He was not in the least bit ♪ ♪ scared To be mashed into a pulp ♪ 516 00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:25,546 ♪ Or to have his eyes gouged ♪ ♪ out And his elbows broken ♪ 517 00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:29,679 ♪ To have his kneecaps split ♪ ♪ And his body burned away ♪ 518 00:33:29,966 --> 00:33:33,186 ♪ And his limbs all hacked ♪ ♪ and mangled Brave Sir Robin ♪ 519 00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:36,732 ♪ His head smashed in ♪ ♪ And his heart cut out ♪ 520 00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:38,766 ♪ His liver removed ♪ ♪ And his bowels unplugged ♪ 521 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:41,778 ♪ His nostrils raped, his bottom ♪ ♪ burned off And his penis... I ♪ 522 00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:44,777 That's, uh, enough music for now, lads. 523 00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:47,609 Looks like there's dirty work afoot. 524 00:33:50,195 --> 00:33:53,074 DENNIS: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom. 525 00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:56,626 WOMAN: Dennis, forget about freedom. Don't drop that mud. 526 00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:02,461 [ (ECHOING ] Halt! Who art thou? 527 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:05,502 ♪ He is brave Sir Robin, ♪ ♪ brave Sir Robin... ♪ 528 00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:06,882 Shut up! 529 00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:11,016 [ STAMMERING ] Nobody, really. I was just passing through. 530 00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:12,551 What do you want? 531 00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,056 ♪ To fight and... a' ♪ 532 00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:15,352 Shut up! 533 00:34:15,595 --> 00:34:16,596 Um... Oh! 534 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,478 Nothing. Nothing, really. 535 00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,646 [ STAMMERING ] Just to pass through, good Sir Knight. 536 00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:22,402 I'm afraid not. 537 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,145 Ah. 538 00:34:24,354 --> 00:34:26,732 Actually, I am a knight of the Round Table. 539 00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:29,234 You're a knight of the Round Table? 540 00:34:29,651 --> 00:34:30,698 Lam. 541 00:34:30,777 --> 00:34:31,824 In that case, I have to kill you. 542 00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:32,992 Shall I? 543 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:34,118 I don't think so. 544 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:35,286 What do I think? 545 00:34:35,365 --> 00:34:37,208 Kill him. Let's be nice to him. 546 00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:38,376 Shut up. But... 547 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:39,498 And you! 548 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:41,580 Get the sword out. I want to cut his head off! 549 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,006 Cut your own head off. 550 00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:44,507 Yes, do us all a favour. 551 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,631 What? Yapping on all the time. 552 00:34:46,710 --> 00:34:48,212 You're lucky you're not next to him. 553 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,467 What do you mean? 554 00:34:49,546 --> 00:34:50,547 You snore. 555 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:51,677 I don't. 556 00:34:51,798 --> 00:34:53,345 You've got bad breath. 557 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:54,968 Only because you don't brush my teeth. 558 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,429 Stop bitching, and let's go and have tea! 559 00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:59,514 All right! We'll kill him first, 560 00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:01,641 and then have tea and biscuits. 561 00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:03,068 Yes. Not biscuits. 562 00:35:03,143 --> 00:35:06,613 All right! Not biscuits. But let's kill him anyway. 563 00:35:06,688 --> 00:35:07,780 BOTH: Right. 564 00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:11,484 He's buggered off! 565 00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:12,702 So he has! He's scarpered. 566 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,120 ♪ Brave Sir Robin ran away ♪ 567 00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:15,196 No! 568 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,123 ♪ Bravely ran away, away ♪ 569 00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:18,324 I didn't. 570 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,077 ♪ When danger ♪ ♪ reared its ugly head ♪ 571 00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:23,125 ♪ He bravely ♪ ♪ turned his tail and fled ♪ 572 00:35:23,204 --> 00:35:27,084 ♪ Yes, Brave Sir Robin turned about ♪ ♪ And gallantly he chickened out ♪ 573 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:31,305 ♪ Bravely taking to his feet ♪ ♪ He beat a very brave retreat ♪ 574 00:35:31,504 --> 00:35:33,552 ♪ Bravest of the brave, ♪ ♪ Sir Robin a' ♪ 575 00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:34,679 I never! 576 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:40,772 ♪ Pie Jesu Domine ♪ 577 00:35:41,348 --> 00:35:45,819 ♪ Dona eis requiem a' ♪ 578 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,146 [ EXCLAIMS ] 579 00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:53,693 [ WHOOPING ] 580 00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:01,618 Ooh. 581 00:36:05,455 --> 00:36:08,129 [ NARRATOR READING ] 582 00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:10,172 [ THUNDER RUMBLING ] 583 00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:20,933 [ ANIMAL HOWLING ] 584 00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:42,534 [ ANIMAL HOWLING ] 585 00:37:02,137 --> 00:37:05,437 Open the door. 586 00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:09,728 In the name of King Arthur, open the door! 587 00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:11,988 [ WOOD CREAKING ] 588 00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:16,409 [ PANTING ] 589 00:37:16,985 --> 00:37:17,986 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 590 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:19,825 Hello! 591 00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:24,118 Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax. 592 00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:27,086 The Castle Anthrax? 593 00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,334 Yes. 594 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:30,836 It's not a very good name, is it? 595 00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:35,466 Oh, but we are nice, and we will attend to your every, every need! 596 00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:38,757 You are the keepers of the Holy Grail? 597 00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:40,008 The what? 598 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:41,259 The Grail. It is here? 599 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:45,230 But you are tired, and you must rest awhile. 600 00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:47,144 Midget! Crapper! 601 00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:48,934 MIDGET AND CRAPPER: Yes, O Zoot? 602 00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:50,485 Prepare a bed for our guest. 603 00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:52,187 Thank you, Zoot. 604 00:37:52,312 --> 00:37:53,529 Thank you. 605 00:37:53,646 --> 00:37:55,319 Away, away, varletesses! 606 00:37:57,066 --> 00:38:01,196 The beds here are warm and soft, and very, very big. 607 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:03,073 LOOK, I, uh... 608 00:38:03,156 --> 00:38:04,516 What is your name, handsome knight? 609 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,877 Uh, Sir Galahad the Chaste. 610 00:38:08,077 --> 00:38:11,047 Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot. 611 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,879 Oh, but come. 612 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,877 Please, in God's name, show me the Grail. 613 00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:20,098 You have suffered much. You are delirious. 614 00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:21,470 Look, I have seen it. It is here. 615 00:38:21,591 --> 00:38:22,934 Sir Galahad! 616 00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:26,980 You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality. 617 00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:28,981 [ STAMMERING ] 618 00:38:29,057 --> 00:38:30,058 Oh! 619 00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:35,231 I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet, compared to yours. 620 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,609 We're eight score blondes and brunettes, 621 00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,202 all between 16 and 19 and a half, 622 00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:44,664 cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us. 623 00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:47,329 It is a lonely life. 624 00:38:48,076 --> 00:38:53,082 Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. 625 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:57,215 We are just not used to handsome knights. 626 00:38:57,544 --> 00:39:00,138 Nay. Come. You may lie here. 627 00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:03,515 But you are wounded! 628 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:04,717 No, it's nothing! 629 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:09,810 You must see the doctors immediately. Please, lie down. 630 00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:14,774 Well, what seems to be the trouble? 631 00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:16,942 They're doctors? 632 00:39:17,272 --> 00:39:20,446 Uh, they have a basic medical training. 633 00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:23,199 Come, come, you must try to rest. 634 00:39:23,903 --> 00:39:26,998 Dr. Piglet! Dr. Winston! Practice your art. 635 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:35,798 Try to relax. 636 00:39:35,957 --> 00:39:37,557 Are you sure that's absolutely necessary? 637 00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:39,252 We must examine you. 638 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,806 There's nothing wrong with that. 639 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,592 Please. We are doctors. 640 00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:49,604 Look, this cannot be. 641 00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:51,230 I am sworn to chastity! 642 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:52,439 Back to your bed! 643 00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:55,314 Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail. 644 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:56,986 There's no Grail here. 645 00:39:57,145 --> 00:39:58,488 I have seen it. 646 00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:01,111 I have seen... WOMEN: Hello. 647 00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:08,202 [ BECKONINGLY ] Hello. 648 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:28,973 Zoot! 649 00:40:29,052 --> 00:40:31,805 I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo. 650 00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,273 Where are you going? 651 00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:35,607 I seek the Grail. 652 00:40:35,725 --> 00:40:37,944 I have seen it here in this castle! 653 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:43,400 Oh, no. Bad, bad Zoot! 654 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,360 What is it? 655 00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:47,078 Wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! 656 00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:51,791 She has been setting light to our beacon, which is Grail-shaped. 657 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,544 It's not the first time we've had this problem. 658 00:40:54,619 --> 00:40:56,337 It's not the real Grail? 659 00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:59,545 Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot. 660 00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:03,011 She is a bad person, and must pay the penalty. 661 00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:06,965 Do you think this scene should have been cut? 662 00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:09,927 We were so worried when the boys were writing it. 663 00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:11,602 But now we're glad. It's better 664 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,346 than some previous scenes, I think. 665 00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:15,223 Ours was better visually. 666 00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:18,059 Ours was committed. It wasn't a string of pussy jokes. 667 00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:19,359 Get on with it. 668 00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:20,694 Yes. Get on with it! 669 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:23,398 ALL: Get On with it! 670 00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:25,780 I am enjoying this scene. 671 00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:27,910 Get On with it! 672 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:29,529 [ SIGHS ] 673 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,537 Wicked, wicked Zoot! 674 00:41:35,785 --> 00:41:37,537 She must pay the penalty. 675 00:41:37,745 --> 00:41:40,999 In Castle Anthrax, we have one punishment 676 00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,800 for setting alight the Grail-shaped beacon. 677 00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:46,091 You must tie her down on a bed, and spank her. 678 00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:48,423 WOMEN: A spanking! A spanking! 679 00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:51,138 You must spank her, and after you've spanked her, 680 00:41:51,217 --> 00:41:52,514 deal with her as you like. 681 00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:53,719 And, then, spank me. 682 00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:54,895 And me! 683 00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:56,097 And me. And me. 684 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,683 Yes. You must give us all a good spanking! 685 00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:00,313 WOMEN: A spanking! 686 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,239 And, after the spanking, the oral sex. 687 00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:06,657 ALL: The oral sex! 688 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:08,110 [ DOOR OPENING ] 689 00:42:08,401 --> 00:42:10,495 Well, I could stay a bit longer. 690 00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:11,658 LANCELOT: Sir Galahad! 691 00:42:11,738 --> 00:42:12,739 Oh. Hello. 692 00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:15,245 Quick! You are in great peril. Why? 693 00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,450 No, he isn't! 694 00:42:16,576 --> 00:42:17,668 Silence, foul temptress! 695 00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:18,870 She's got a point. 696 00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:20,045 We'll cover your escape! 697 00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:21,464 Look, I'm fine! 698 00:42:21,581 --> 00:42:22,878 Wait, Sir Galahad! 699 00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,675 I can tackle this lot single-handed! 700 00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:26,544 Yes, let him tackle us single-handed! 701 00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:28,254 [ WOMEN CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT ] 702 00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:29,714 No, Sir Galahad. Come! 703 00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:32,141 Honestly, I can handle this lot easily! 704 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:33,513 Yes, let him handle us easily. 705 00:42:33,593 --> 00:42:34,845 Go! Quick! 706 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:38,397 Wait! Please! I can defeat them! There's only 150 of them! 707 00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:41,522 He'll beat us easily. We haven't a chance. 708 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:44,479 [ ALL CLAMORING DISAPPOINTEDLY ] 709 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:46,898 Oh, shit! 710 00:42:47,315 --> 00:42:50,034 You were in great peril. I don't think I was. 711 00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:51,619 You were in terrible peril. 712 00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:53,913 Let me go back, and face the peril. 713 00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:55,035 No, it's too perilous. 714 00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:57,287 It's my duty to sample as much peril as I can. 715 00:42:57,366 --> 00:42:59,118 We've got to find the Holy Grail. 716 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:00,499 Let me have just a bit of peril? 717 00:43:00,661 --> 00:43:01,958 No. It's unhealthy. 718 00:43:02,038 --> 00:43:03,039 I bet you're 93V- 719 00:43:03,122 --> 00:43:04,214 No, I'm not. 720 00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:07,464 NARRATOR: Sir Lancelot had saved Sir Galahad 721 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:09,383 from almost certain temptation. 722 00:43:09,670 --> 00:43:12,219 But, they were still no nearer the Grail. 723 00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:16,182 King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallows flight away, 724 00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,183 had discovered something. 725 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:21,771 That's an unladen swallows flight, obviously. 726 00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:24,318 They were more than two laden swallows flights away. 727 00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:26,646 Four, with a coconut on a line between them. 728 00:43:26,729 --> 00:43:28,356 If the birds were... 729 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:30,362 ALL: Get On with it! 730 00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:31,442 Oh, anyway, 731 00:43:31,526 --> 00:43:35,030 on to Scene 24, which is a smashing scene, with some lovely acting, 732 00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:37,286 in which Arthur discovers a vital clue. 733 00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:39,288 There aren't any swallows, but I think you can hear a... 734 00:43:39,367 --> 00:43:40,368 [ THUDDING ] 735 00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:41,452 [ NARRATOR GROAN S ] 736 00:43:41,536 --> 00:43:42,628 [ CACKLING ] 737 00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:46,549 And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the Grail? 738 00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:52,756 Where does he live? 739 00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:54,557 Old man, where does he live? 740 00:43:55,883 --> 00:44:00,764 He knows of a cave. A cave which no man has entered. 741 00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:03,566 And the Grail. The Grail is there? 742 00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:05,314 There is much danger. 743 00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:09,489 For beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, 744 00:44:10,022 --> 00:44:12,445 which no man has ever crossed. 745 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,323 But the Grail. Where is the Grail? 746 00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:19,116 Seek you the Bridge of Death. 747 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:23,419 The Bridge of Death? Which leads to the Grail? 748 00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:24,753 [ CACKLING ] 749 00:44:27,748 --> 00:44:30,672 [ BIRDS CAWING ] 750 00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:47,643 [ WOOD SNAPS ] 751 00:44:55,526 --> 00:44:56,527 [ RUSTLING ] 752 00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:10,087 Who are you? 753 00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:13,716 We are the knights who say "Ni"! 754 00:45:13,794 --> 00:45:15,074 No! Not the knights who say "Ni"? 755 00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:16,346 The same! 756 00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:17,422 Who are they? 757 00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:20,264 We are the keepers of the sacred words. 758 00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:24,063 "Ni," "Peng," and "Neee Wom"! 759 00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:27,392 Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale. 760 00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:31,855 The knights who say "Ni" demand a sacrifice. 761 00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:34,487 Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers 762 00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:37,284 who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. 763 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:43,083 [ EXCLAIMING IN PAIN ] ALL: Ni! Ni! 764 00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:49,043 We shall say "Ni" again to you, if you do not appease us. 765 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:50,790 What is it you want? 766 00:45:50,915 --> 00:45:52,007 We want 767 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,712 a shrubbery. 768 00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,634 A what? 769 00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:59,715 Ni! Ni! [ GROANING ] 770 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,842 Please! No more! 771 00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:03,143 We will find you a shrubbery. 772 00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:05,688 You must return with a shrubbery, 773 00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:09,142 or else you will never pass through this wood 774 00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,064 alive. 775 00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:13,775 Knights of Ni, you are just and fair. 776 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:15,197 We will return with a shrubbery. 777 00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:16,733 One that looks nice. 778 00:46:16,816 --> 00:46:18,784 Of course. And not too expensive. 779 00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:19,859 Yes. 780 00:46:19,902 --> 00:46:22,530 NOW go! 781 00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:33,958 [ THUDDING ] 782 00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:36,385 [ ILLUSTRATOR EXCLAIMING ] 783 00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:41,974 [ MUTTERING ] 784 00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:56,981 [ CLATTERING ] 785 00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:02,032 [ GRUNTING ] 786 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,288 Stop that! Stop that! 787 00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:11,295 Go on, clear off! Go away. 788 00:47:14,457 --> 00:47:15,925 And you, clear off! 789 00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:17,460 [ SUN MUTTERING ] 790 00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:22,427 Bloody weather. 791 00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:24,930 [ NARRATOR READING ] 792 00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:30,936 [ FROGS CROAKING ] 793 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:34,606 One day, lad, all this will be yours. 794 00:47:34,727 --> 00:47:35,899 What, the curtains? 795 00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:37,237 No, not the curtains. 796 00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:41,784 All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys. 797 00:47:41,859 --> 00:47:43,702 That'll be your kingdom, lad. 798 00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:45,530 But, Mother. Father, lad. 799 00:47:45,696 --> 00:47:48,165 But, Father, I don't want any of that. 800 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:49,366 Listen, lad. 801 00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:51,794 I built this kingdom up from nothing. 802 00:47:51,952 --> 00:47:54,330 When I started here, it was a swamp. 803 00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:57,879 Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on the swamp. 804 00:47:57,958 --> 00:48:01,087 But I built it all the same to show them. 805 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:03,385 It sank into the swamp. 806 00:48:03,464 --> 00:48:06,308 So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. 807 00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:08,227 So, I built a third one. That burned down, 808 00:48:08,344 --> 00:48:10,221 fell over, then sank in the swamp. 809 00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:12,306 But the fourth one stayed up. 810 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,234 And that's what you'll get lad. 811 00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:17,653 The strongest castle in these isles. 812 00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:20,068 But I don't want any of that. 813 00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:22,446 I'd rather... Rather what? 814 00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:24,652 I'd rather just. 815 00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:27,155 [ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC STARTS ] sing. 816 00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:28,656 [ (RECORD PLAYER SLOWS TO A STOP ] Stop that. 817 00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:31,492 You're not going into a song while I'm here! 818 00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,915 In 20 minutes, you're marrying a girl 819 00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:37,999 whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain. 820 00:48:38,165 --> 00:48:39,462 But I don't want land. 821 00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:40,926 Listen, Alice. 822 00:48:41,001 --> 00:48:42,594 Herbert. Herbert. 823 00:48:42,670 --> 00:48:46,095 We live on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get. 824 00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:48,017 But I don't like her. 825 00:48:48,134 --> 00:48:49,511 Don't like her? 826 00:48:50,302 --> 00:48:51,770 What's wrong with her? 827 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:56,147 She's beautiful, she's rich. She's got huge 828 00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:58,273 tracts of land. 829 00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:04,234 I know, but I want the girl that I marry to have 830 00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:08,287 a certain special something. 831 00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:09,363 [ MUSIC RESUMES PLAYING ] 832 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,290 Cut that out! 833 00:49:11,365 --> 00:49:12,366 [ RECORD PLAYER STOPS ] 834 00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:15,206 You're marrying Princess Lucky, 835 00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:17,542 so you'd better get used to the idea! 836 00:49:18,873 --> 00:49:19,965 Guards! 837 00:49:20,374 --> 00:49:23,628 Make sure the Prince doesn't leave the room until I get him. 838 00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:26,715 Not to leave the room, even if you come and get him. 839 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:28,845 No. Until I come and get him. 840 00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:32,395 Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room. 841 00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:37,358 No, you stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave. 842 00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:38,813 And you'll come and get him. 843 00:49:38,934 --> 00:49:40,151 Right. 844 00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:43,902 We don't need to do anything, apart from stop him entering the room. 845 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:45,692 No. Leaving the room. 846 00:49:45,816 --> 00:49:47,318 Leaving the room, yes. 847 00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:48,568 All right? 848 00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:49,658 Right. Oh, if... 849 00:49:49,737 --> 00:49:50,863 Uh, if we're... 850 00:49:50,988 --> 00:49:52,114 Yes? 851 00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:56,001 Look, it's quite simple. 852 00:49:56,076 --> 00:50:00,297 You stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. 853 00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:02,504 All right? [ HICCUPS ] 854 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:03,675 Oh, I remember. 855 00:50:03,751 --> 00:50:06,095 Uh, can he leave the room with us? 856 00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:10,345 No, you just keep him in here, and make sure... 857 00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:12,722 Oh, yes! We'll keep him in here, obviously. 858 00:50:12,801 --> 00:50:14,348 But if he had to leave... 859 00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:15,975 No. Keep him in here! 860 00:50:16,096 --> 00:50:17,439 Until you, or anyone... 861 00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:18,812 Not anyone, just me. 862 00:50:18,933 --> 00:50:20,059 Just you... 863 00:50:20,142 --> 00:50:21,268 Get back. 864 00:50:21,602 --> 00:50:22,649 Right? Right. 865 00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:24,696 We'll stay here until you get back. 866 00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,115 And make sure he doesn't leave. 867 00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:27,616 What? 868 00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,411 Make sure he doesn't leave. 869 00:50:30,528 --> 00:50:31,996 The Prince? 870 00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:33,705 Yes, make sure he doesn't leave. 871 00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:35,415 Yes, of course! 872 00:50:35,491 --> 00:50:37,164 I thought you meant him! 873 00:50:37,243 --> 00:50:40,918 It seemed a bit daft me having to guard him when he's a guard. 874 00:50:41,330 --> 00:50:42,707 Is that clear? 875 00:50:42,790 --> 00:50:44,133 Quite clear. No problems. 876 00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:45,338 Right. 877 00:50:47,586 --> 00:50:48,803 Where are you going? 878 00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:50,180 We're coming with you. 879 00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:54,427 No, I want you to stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave. 880 00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:56,144 I see, flght. 881 00:50:56,971 --> 00:50:58,723 But, Father... 882 00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:00,645 Shut it, and get that suit on. 883 00:51:02,977 --> 00:51:07,824 [ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC STARTS ] 884 00:51:08,357 --> 00:51:09,574 [ RECORD PLAYER STOPS ] And no singing! 885 00:51:09,650 --> 00:51:10,697 [ HICCUPS ] 886 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:12,699 Oh, go and get a glass of water. 887 00:52:01,368 --> 00:52:02,585 Well taken, Concorde! 888 00:52:02,703 --> 00:52:03,955 Thank you, sir, most kind. 889 00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:05,540 And again! 890 00:52:05,873 --> 00:52:08,968 Over we go! Good, steady! 891 00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:11,262 Now, the big one! 892 00:52:12,087 --> 00:52:13,464 Come on, Concorde! 893 00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:14,548 [ ARROW TWANGING ] 894 00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:17,385 Message for you, sir. 895 00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:21,805 Concorde, speak to me! 896 00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:33,155 "To whoever finds this note." 897 00:52:33,233 --> 00:52:37,329 "I have been imprisoned by my father," 898 00:52:37,738 --> 00:52:40,332 "who wishes me to marry against my will." 899 00:52:40,407 --> 00:52:42,956 "Please, please come and rescue me." 900 00:52:43,452 --> 00:52:46,922 "I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle." 901 00:52:46,997 --> 00:52:50,297 At last! A call! A cry of distress! 902 00:52:50,417 --> 00:52:53,591 This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail! 903 00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:58,268 Brave Concorde, you shall not have died in vain! 904 00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:00,310 I'm not quite dead, sir. 905 00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:05,023 You shall not have been mortally wounded in vain! 906 00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:07,443 I think I could pull through, sir. 907 00:53:08,435 --> 00:53:09,607 I see. 908 00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:10,942 I think I'm all right to come with you. 909 00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,773 No, sweet Concorde! Stay here. 910 00:53:12,856 --> 00:53:16,030 I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and 911 00:53:16,110 --> 00:53:18,863 heroic rescue in my own particular... 912 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:21,865 [ GROANS ] 913 00:53:22,157 --> 00:53:23,955 Idiom, sir? Idiom! 914 00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:25,244 No, I feel fine, actually, sir. 915 00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:26,954 Farewell, sweet Concorde! 916 00:53:28,497 --> 00:53:31,671 I'll, uh, just stay here, shall I, sir? 917 00:53:33,711 --> 00:53:34,837 Yeah. 918 00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:41,303 [ WOMEN GIGGLING SOFTLY ] 919 00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:45,181 [ INDISTINCT TALKING ] 920 00:53:51,019 --> 00:53:55,149 [ MINSTREL MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY ] 921 00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:15,344 Morning. Morning. 922 00:54:57,044 --> 00:54:58,045 [ SHOUTS ] 923 00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:01,215 [ DISTRACTEDLY ] Hey! 924 00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:24,580 [ LAUGHING MANIACALLY ] 925 00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:32,041 [ SHOUTING ] 926 00:55:38,210 --> 00:55:39,211 [ EXCLAIMS ] 927 00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,693 You're not allowed to enter the room... 928 00:55:54,768 --> 00:55:55,769 [ SHOUTING ] 929 00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:59,983 Fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Lancelot of Camelot. 930 00:56:00,065 --> 00:56:01,942 I have come to take... I'm terribly sorry. 931 00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:03,986 You got my note! 932 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:06,196 I got a note. 933 00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:08,198 You've come to rescue me? 934 00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:09,958 Well, no, you see... 935 00:56:10,075 --> 00:56:11,418 I knew someone would. 936 00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:14,046 I knew that somewhere out there, 937 00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:16,340 [ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC STARTS ] there must be someone... 938 00:56:17,124 --> 00:56:18,171 [ RECORD PLAYER STOPS ] 939 00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:19,339 Stop that! Stop it! 940 00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:21,879 Who are you? 941 00:56:21,962 --> 00:56:23,589 I'm your son. No, not you. 942 00:56:23,672 --> 00:56:25,219 I'm Sir Lancelot, sir. 943 00:56:25,340 --> 00:56:26,887 He's come to rescue me, Father. 944 00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:28,389 Let's not jump to conclusions. 945 00:56:28,510 --> 00:56:29,887 Did you kill all those guards? 946 00:56:29,970 --> 00:56:30,971 Uh... 947 00:56:31,305 --> 00:56:33,103 Yes. Sorry. 948 00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:34,353 They cost 50 pounds each. 949 00:56:34,474 --> 00:56:35,646 I'm awfully sorry. 950 00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:39,822 Don't be afraid of him, Sir Lancelot. I've got a rope ready. 951 00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:42,942 You killed eight wedding guests and all! 952 00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:45,452 Well, you see, I thought your son was a lady. 953 00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:46,870 I can understand that. 954 00:56:46,945 --> 00:56:48,071 Hurry, Sir Lancelot! Hurry! 955 00:56:48,155 --> 00:56:49,281 Shut up! 956 00:56:49,364 --> 00:56:50,991 You only killed the bride's father! 957 00:56:51,158 --> 00:56:52,785 I didn't mean to. 958 00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:55,621 Didn't mean to? You put your sword through his head! 959 00:56:55,704 --> 00:56:57,172 Oh, dear, is he all right? 960 00:56:57,289 --> 00:56:58,711 You kicked the bride in the chest! 961 00:56:58,790 --> 00:57:00,070 It's going to cost me a fortune! 962 00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:01,297 I can explain. 963 00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:03,219 I was in the forest, riding north from Camelot, 964 00:57:03,337 --> 00:57:05,180 when I got this note. 965 00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:06,507 Are you from Camelot? 966 00:57:06,632 --> 00:57:07,884 Hurry, Sir Lancelot! 967 00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:10,102 I'm a knight of King Arthur, sir. 968 00:57:10,177 --> 00:57:13,181 Very nice castle, Camelot. Very good pig country. 969 00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:15,353 Is it? 970 00:57:15,515 --> 00:57:16,983 I am ready! 971 00:57:17,059 --> 00:57:18,857 Would you like to come have a drink? 972 00:57:19,019 --> 00:57:20,817 That's awfully nice of you. 973 00:57:21,146 --> 00:57:22,648 I am ready! 974 00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:24,320 I mean, to be so understanding. 975 00:57:24,399 --> 00:57:26,276 You see, when I'm in this idiom, 976 00:57:26,401 --> 00:57:28,324 I sometimes get a bit carried away. 977 00:57:30,197 --> 00:57:31,244 [ PRINCE GRUNTS ] 978 00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:34,918 [ ALL SOBBING ] 979 00:57:34,993 --> 00:57:38,463 Now, this is the main hall. We'll have all this knocked through... 980 00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:40,211 There he is! 981 00:57:40,374 --> 00:57:42,047 Bloody hell. 982 00:57:44,378 --> 00:57:48,349 [ ALL SCREAMING ] 983 00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,433 Hold it, please! 984 00:57:53,553 --> 00:57:55,396 See what I mean? I get carried away. 985 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:58,396 I'm really most awfully sorry. Sorry, everyone. 986 00:57:58,475 --> 00:57:59,897 He's killed the best man! 987 00:58:01,436 --> 00:58:05,942 Hold it, please, hold it. This is Sir Lancelot 988 00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:11,030 from the Court of Camelot, a brave and influential knight. 989 00:58:11,780 --> 00:58:13,157 And my special guest here today. 990 00:58:13,281 --> 00:58:14,658 Hello. 991 00:58:14,741 --> 00:58:16,368 MAN: He killed my auntie! 992 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:21,750 No, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! 993 00:58:21,873 --> 00:58:25,798 Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. 994 00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:31,092 We are here today to witness the union of two young people 995 00:58:31,216 --> 00:58:33,560 in the joyful bond of holy wedlock. 996 00:58:33,719 --> 00:58:35,187 [ PEOPLE MURMURING ] 997 00:58:35,262 --> 00:58:39,062 Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, 998 00:58:39,725 --> 00:58:41,773 has just fallen to his death. 999 00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:46,106 But I don't want to think I've lost a son, so much as 1000 00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:48,279 gained a daughter. 1001 00:58:48,984 --> 00:58:52,238 For, since the tragic death of her father... 1002 00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,448 He's not quite dead! 1003 00:58:55,782 --> 00:58:58,831 Since the near fatal wounding of her father... 1004 00:58:58,952 --> 00:59:00,704 He's getting better! 1005 00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:05,967 For, since her own father 1006 00:59:06,084 --> 00:59:09,429 who, when he seemed about to recover, 1007 00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:13,058 suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him. 1008 00:59:13,133 --> 00:59:14,134 [ MAN GROANING ] 1009 00:59:14,259 --> 00:59:15,431 He's died! 1010 00:59:15,927 --> 00:59:19,557 I want his only daughter to look upon me 1011 00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:24,145 as her own dad, in a very real, and legally binding sense. 1012 00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:30,655 And I feel sure that the merger, the union between the Princess 1013 00:59:31,359 --> 00:59:35,114 and the brave but dangerous Sir Lancelot of Camelot... 1014 00:59:35,530 --> 00:59:36,998 What? 1015 00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:38,537 Look, the dead Prince! 1016 00:59:38,617 --> 00:59:41,370 [ ALL GASPING ] 1017 00:59:41,495 --> 00:59:43,122 GUARD: He's not quite dead! 1018 00:59:43,246 --> 00:59:44,873 HERBERT: I feel much better. 1019 00:59:44,956 --> 00:59:47,835 You fell out of the tall tower, you creep! 1020 00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:50,754 No, I was saved at the last minute. 1021 00:59:50,837 --> 00:59:52,089 H ow? 1022 00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:53,845 I'll tell you. 1023 00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:55,175 [ MUSIC STARTS PLAYING ] 1024 00:59:55,258 --> 00:59:57,727 Not like that! Not like that. 1025 00:59:57,803 --> 01:00:01,524 "ALL". R He's going to tell He's going to tell r. 1026 01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:07,817 Quickly, sir, come this way! 1027 01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:11,821 No, it's not right for my idiom. I must escape more... 1028 01:00:13,693 --> 01:00:15,195 Dramatically, sir? 1029 01:00:15,362 --> 01:00:16,864 Dramatically. 1030 01:00:16,988 --> 01:00:18,035 Wheel 1031 01:00:27,874 --> 01:00:28,875 [ ALL CHEERING ] 1032 01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:31,841 Excuse me, could somebody give me a push, please? 1033 01:00:34,422 --> 01:00:35,423 [ CAT SCREECHES ] 1034 01:00:36,925 --> 01:00:37,926 [ CAT SCREECHES ] 1035 01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:40,095 [ CAT SCREECHES ] 1036 01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:42,514 [ CAT SCREECHES ] 1037 01:00:44,683 --> 01:00:45,684 [ CAT SCREECHES ] 1038 01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:49,275 Old crone! 1039 01:00:50,897 --> 01:00:54,401 Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery? 1040 01:00:55,235 --> 01:00:56,282 Who sent you? 1041 01:00:56,361 --> 01:00:58,830 The knights who say "Ni"! 1042 01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:01,704 No! We have no shrubberies here. 1043 01:01:01,783 --> 01:01:05,913 If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I 1044 01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:07,585 will say... 1045 01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:11,592 We Will say "Ni." 1046 01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,507 [ GROANS ] Do your worst! 1047 01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:17,763 Very well. If you will not assist us voluntarily... 1048 01:01:21,428 --> 01:01:22,600 Ni! No! 1049 01:01:23,388 --> 01:01:25,641 Never. No shrubberies. 1050 01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:27,726 Ni! Noo! 1051 01:01:27,976 --> 01:01:30,274 No, it's not that, it's "Ni." 1052 01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:33,482 No, you're not doing it properly. 1053 01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:35,109 Ni. You've got it. 1054 01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:38,203 BOTH: Ni! 1055 01:01:38,278 --> 01:01:41,407 Are you saying "Ni" to that old woman? 1056 01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:42,532 Um... 1057 01:01:42,616 --> 01:01:43,708 Yes. 1058 01:01:43,783 --> 01:01:46,161 What sad times are these when passing 1059 01:01:46,286 --> 01:01:48,709 ruffians can say "Ni" at will to old ladies. 1060 01:01:49,289 --> 01:01:52,463 There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. 1061 01:01:52,792 --> 01:01:54,886 Even those who arrange shrubberies 1062 01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,588 are under considerable economic stress 1063 01:01:56,671 --> 01:01:58,673 at this period in history. 1064 01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:00,050 Did you say "shrubberies"? 1065 01:02:00,175 --> 01:02:01,472 Yes. 1066 01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:04,597 Shrubberies are my trade. Lam a shrubber. 1067 01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:09,310 My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. 1068 01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:11,148 Ni! 1069 01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:12,316 No! 1070 01:02:13,313 --> 01:02:16,237 Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. 1071 01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:17,442 May we go? 1072 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:18,659 It is a good shrubbery. 1073 01:02:18,860 --> 01:02:20,988 I like the laurels particularly. 1074 01:02:21,112 --> 01:02:23,206 But there is one small problem. 1075 01:02:23,782 --> 01:02:24,908 What is that? 1076 01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:28,962 We are now no longer the knights who say "Ni." 1077 01:02:29,162 --> 01:02:30,209 Shh! Shh! 1078 01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:32,256 We are now the knights who say, 1079 01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:35,836 "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing"! 1080 01:02:36,753 --> 01:02:38,881 Therefore, we must give you a test. 1081 01:02:38,964 --> 01:02:42,559 What is this test, knights who until recently said "Ni"? 1082 01:02:43,301 --> 01:02:45,474 Firstly, you must find 1083 01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:47,897 another shrubbery! 1084 01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:51,526 Not another shrubbery! 1085 01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:55,364 Then you must bring it here beside this shrubbery. 1086 01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:57,281 Higher, so you get the two-level effect 1087 01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,117 with a path going down the middle. 1088 01:02:59,192 --> 01:03:01,240 OTHERS: A path! A path! 1089 01:03:01,361 --> 01:03:04,490 Then, when you have found the shrubberies, 1090 01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:08,164 you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest 1091 01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:12,042 with a herring! 1092 01:03:13,331 --> 01:03:14,958 We shall do no such thing. 1093 01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:16,293 Oh, please. 1094 01:03:16,376 --> 01:03:19,505 Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done. 1095 01:03:19,587 --> 01:03:20,804 [ SCREAMING ] 1096 01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:23,133 Don't say that word. What word? 1097 01:03:23,216 --> 01:03:25,218 I cannot tell. Suffice to say, 1098 01:03:25,343 --> 01:03:28,017 it's one of the words the knights of Ni cannot hear. 1099 01:03:28,096 --> 01:03:31,020 How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is? 1100 01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:32,100 He did it again. 1101 01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:33,226 What? "Ls"? 1102 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:37,864 No, not "is"! You wouldn't get very far in life not saying "is." 1103 01:03:37,939 --> 01:03:39,441 My liege, it's Robin. 1104 01:03:39,566 --> 01:03:41,694 ♪ He's jacking it ♪ ♪ in and packing it up ♪ 1105 01:03:41,818 --> 01:03:43,946 ♪ And sneaking ♪ ♪ away and buggering off ♪ 1106 01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:46,289 ♪ And chickening out ♪ ♪ and pissing a pot ♪ 1107 01:03:46,406 --> 01:03:48,659 ♪ Yes, bravely he is ♪ ♪ throwing in the sponge 4' ♪ 1108 01:03:48,742 --> 01:03:49,994 Robin. My liege. 1109 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:51,669 It's good to see you. Now he's said the word! 1110 01:03:51,745 --> 01:03:54,339 You haven't given up your quest for the Holy Grail? 1111 01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:55,654 ♪ He is sneaking away and... a' ♪ 1112 01:03:55,749 --> 01:03:56,921 Shut up! 1113 01:03:57,417 --> 01:03:58,589 No, far from it. 1114 01:03:58,710 --> 01:03:59,927 You said the word again. 1115 01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:01,846 I was looking for it. 1116 01:04:01,921 --> 01:04:04,595 [ GROANS ] here in this forest. 1117 01:04:04,758 --> 01:04:06,886 No, it is far from this place. 1118 01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:09,104 Stop saying the word! 1119 01:04:09,220 --> 01:04:10,392 The word we cannot hear! 1120 01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:11,685 Stop it! 1121 01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:12,849 He said "it" again! 1122 01:04:12,932 --> 01:04:13,933 That's it! 1123 01:04:14,017 --> 01:04:16,987 I've said "it." I've said "it." I've said "it" again! 1124 01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:19,281 That's three "its"! 1125 01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:27,618 NARRATOR: And so Arthur and Bedevere and. 1126 01:04:27,781 --> 01:04:29,954 Sir Robin set out on their search to find 1127 01:04:30,033 --> 01:04:33,958 the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in Scene 24. 1128 01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:38,299 Beyond the forest they met Lancelot and Galahad, 1129 01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:40,794 and there was much rejoicing. 1130 01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:41,878 [ CHEERING ] 1131 01:04:52,305 --> 01:04:54,558 In the frozen land of Nador, 1132 01:04:54,641 --> 01:04:57,440 they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. 1133 01:04:58,103 --> 01:04:59,696 And there was much rejoicing. 1134 01:04:59,771 --> 01:05:00,772 [ KNIGHTS CHEERING ] 1135 01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:03,654 A year passed. 1136 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:07,450 [ SHIVERING ] 1137 01:05:07,529 --> 01:05:09,406 Winter changed into spring. 1138 01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:10,529 [ MURMURS APPRECIATIVELY ] 1139 01:05:10,573 --> 01:05:12,701 Spring changed into summer. 1140 01:05:13,159 --> 01:05:15,582 Summer changed back into winter, 1141 01:05:15,662 --> 01:05:17,756 and winter gave spring and summer a miss 1142 01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:20,050 and went straight on into autumn. 1143 01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:21,547 [ GRUNTING ] 1144 01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:22,843 Until one day. 1145 01:05:41,521 --> 01:05:44,741 [ ALL EXCLAIMING ] 1146 01:05:44,983 --> 01:05:46,326 Knights, 1147 01:05:47,527 --> 01:05:48,824 forward! 1148 01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:54,367 [ EXPLOSION ] 1149 01:05:59,414 --> 01:06:00,574 [ ARTILLERY SHELL WHISTLING ] 1150 01:06:04,419 --> 01:06:05,579 [ ARTILLERY SHELL WHISTLING ] 1151 01:06:07,422 --> 01:06:09,845 [ SHELLS WHISTLING ] 1152 01:06:25,857 --> 01:06:28,451 What manner of man are you that can summon up fire 1153 01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:30,654 without flint or tinder? 1154 01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:32,951 I am an enchanter. 1155 01:06:35,992 --> 01:06:37,835 By what name are you known? 1156 01:06:37,952 --> 01:06:39,829 There are some who call me... 1157 01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:43,167 Tim. 1158 01:06:43,291 --> 01:06:44,588 Greetings, Tim the enchanter! 1159 01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:47,087 Greetings, King Arthur. 1160 01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:49,594 You know my name? I do. 1161 01:06:52,842 --> 01:06:54,970 [ FLAME THROWER ROARING ] 1162 01:06:57,597 --> 01:07:00,350 You seek the Holy Grail. 1163 01:07:00,934 --> 01:07:04,029 That is our quest. You know much that is hidden, Tim. 1164 01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:05,355 Quite. 1165 01:07:13,613 --> 01:07:16,036 Yes, we are looking for the Holy Grail. 1166 01:07:16,282 --> 01:07:18,159 Our quest is to find the Holy Grail. 1167 01:07:18,284 --> 01:07:20,207 Yes, it is. 1168 01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:21,997 [ ALL AGREEING ] 1169 01:07:23,414 --> 01:07:24,961 And so we're looking for it. 1170 01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:26,630 Yes, we are. 1171 01:07:26,751 --> 01:07:28,094 We have been for some time. 1172 01:07:28,211 --> 01:07:29,588 Ages. 1173 01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:36,641 So, anything you could do to, uh, help would be 1174 01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:40,223 very 1175 01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:42,817 helpful. 1176 01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:44,319 Look, can you tell us where... 1177 01:07:48,147 --> 01:07:51,151 Fine, I don't want to waste any more of your time, 1178 01:07:51,276 --> 01:07:55,156 but I don't suppose you could tell us where we might find a, um... 1179 01:07:56,030 --> 01:07:58,203 [ STAMMERS ] 1180 01:07:58,283 --> 01:07:59,910 A what? 1181 01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:03,671 [ SHOUTING ] A grail? 1182 01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:05,919 Yes, I think so. 1183 01:08:06,457 --> 01:08:07,504 Yes. 1184 01:08:07,667 --> 01:08:08,714 [ ALL AGREEING ] 1185 01:08:08,793 --> 01:08:09,919 Yes! 1186 01:08:11,004 --> 01:08:12,051 Oh! 1187 01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:13,473 Thank you. 1188 01:08:13,590 --> 01:08:14,967 Splendid! 1189 01:08:18,678 --> 01:08:21,272 Look, you're a busy man... 1190 01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:26,023 Yes, I can help you find the Holy Grail. 1191 01:08:26,477 --> 01:08:31,278 To the north, there lies a cave. The Cave of Caerbannog. 1192 01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:35,703 Wherein, carved in mystic runes, upon the very living rock, 1193 01:08:36,154 --> 01:08:39,499 the last words of Olfin Bedwere of Rheged 1194 01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:46,545 make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail. 1195 01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:48,925 Where could we find this cave, Tim? 1196 01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,544 Follow! 1197 01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:56,141 But follow only if ye be men of valour. 1198 01:08:56,549 --> 01:09:00,019 For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature 1199 01:09:00,511 --> 01:09:03,731 so foul, so cruel, 1200 01:09:03,848 --> 01:09:07,068 that no man yet has fought with it and lived. 1201 01:09:08,645 --> 01:09:13,651 Bones of full 50 men lie strewn about its lair. 1202 01:09:14,192 --> 01:09:18,572 So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage 1203 01:09:19,072 --> 01:09:21,916 or your strength, come no further, 1204 01:09:22,241 --> 01:09:27,213 for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth. 1205 01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:31,543 What an eccentric performance! 1206 01:09:33,503 --> 01:09:37,178 [ WIND HOWLING ] 1207 01:09:43,304 --> 01:09:44,601 [ MEN NEIGHING ] 1208 01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:46,520 They're nervous, sire. 1209 01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:49,193 Then we'd best leave them here and carry on, on foot. 1210 01:09:49,268 --> 01:09:50,770 Dismount! 1211 01:10:03,908 --> 01:10:07,913 Behold the Cave of Caerbannog! 1212 01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:11,799 Right, keep me covered. 1213 01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:13,460 What with? 1214 01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:15,302 Just keep me covered. 1215 01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:16,587 Too late. 1216 01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:19,094 TIM: There he is! 1217 01:10:22,176 --> 01:10:23,177 Where? 1218 01:10:23,302 --> 01:10:24,349 There. 1219 01:10:25,388 --> 01:10:26,810 What, behind the rabbit? 1220 01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,441 It is the rabbit. 1221 01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:31,732 You silly sod! 1222 01:10:31,853 --> 01:10:33,025 What? 1223 01:10:33,104 --> 01:10:34,572 You got us all worked up. 1224 01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:36,365 That's no ordinary rabbit. 1225 01:10:36,441 --> 01:10:38,819 That's the most foul, cruel and 1226 01:10:38,985 --> 01:10:41,408 bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. 1227 01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:45,201 You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared! 1228 01:10:45,324 --> 01:10:48,828 Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide. 1229 01:10:48,911 --> 01:10:49,912 It's a killer! 1230 01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:50,997 Get stuffed. 1231 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,127 He'll do you up a treat, mate! 1232 01:10:52,206 --> 01:10:53,332 Yeah? 1233 01:10:53,416 --> 01:10:54,668 You manky Scots git! 1234 01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:55,968 I'm warning you. 1235 01:10:56,043 --> 01:10:57,841 What's he do? Nibble your bum? 1236 01:10:57,962 --> 01:10:59,714 He's got huge, sharp... 1237 01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:02,509 It can leap about... 1238 01:11:02,967 --> 01:11:04,594 Look at the bones! 1239 01:11:04,719 --> 01:11:06,392 Go on, Bors, chop its head off. 1240 01:11:06,512 --> 01:11:10,233 Right. Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew coming right up. 1241 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:13,819 Look! 1242 01:11:13,895 --> 01:11:14,896 [ SQUEAKING ] 1243 01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:18,441 Jesus Christ! 1244 01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:20,113 I warned you! 1245 01:11:20,193 --> 01:11:21,194 I've done it again. 1246 01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:22,278 I warned you. 1247 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:25,706 But did you listen to me? No, you knew it all, didn't you? 1248 01:11:25,865 --> 01:11:30,416 It's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. 1249 01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:31,712 I always... 1250 01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:33,123 Shut up! 1251 01:11:34,582 --> 01:11:36,425 Charge! 1252 01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:45,218 [ KNIGHTS SHOUTING ] 1253 01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:50,182 [ KNIGHTS SCREAMING ] 1254 01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:55,569 ALL: Run away! 1255 01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:02,368 [ LAUGHING ] 1256 01:12:04,946 --> 01:12:05,947 How many did we lose? 1257 01:12:06,030 --> 01:12:07,030 Gawain. 1258 01:12:07,073 --> 01:12:08,074 Ector. 1259 01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:09,158 And Bors. That's five. 1260 01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:11,210 Three. Three. 1261 01:12:11,536 --> 01:12:15,211 We better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite. 1262 01:12:15,289 --> 01:12:17,917 Would it help to confuse it if we run away more? 1263 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,593 Shut up and change your armour. 1264 01:12:19,752 --> 01:12:21,379 Let us taunt it. 1265 01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:24,261 It may become so cross that it will make a mistake. 1266 01:12:24,340 --> 01:12:25,466 Like what? 1267 01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:27,806 Well... 1268 01:12:30,972 --> 01:12:32,940 Have we got bows? No. 1269 01:12:33,015 --> 01:12:34,215 We have the Holy Hand Grenade. 1270 01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:35,393 Yes, of course! 1271 01:12:35,476 --> 01:12:37,228 The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. 1272 01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:40,155 It's one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries. 1273 01:12:40,231 --> 01:12:43,326 Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade. 1274 01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:47,781 ♪ BROTHER MAYNARD: ♪ ♪ Pie Jesu Domine ♪ 1275 01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:51,744 MONKS: 4' Dona eis requiem 1276 01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:55,251 ♪ Pie Jesu Domine ♪ 1277 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:59,092 ♪ Dona eis requiem ♪ 1278 01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:02,883 ♪ Pie Jesu Domine ♪ 1279 01:13:02,962 --> 01:13:06,432 ♪ Dona eis requiem ♪ 1280 01:13:06,591 --> 01:13:10,095 ♪ Pie Jesu Domine ♪ 1281 01:13:10,177 --> 01:13:14,057 ♪ Dona eis requiem a' ♪ 1282 01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,104 How does it, uh... 1283 01:13:16,809 --> 01:13:17,981 How does it work? 1284 01:13:18,060 --> 01:13:19,403 I know not, my liege. 1285 01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:20,897 Consult the Book of Armaments. 1286 01:13:20,980 --> 01:13:24,780 Armaments 2: 9-21. 1287 01:13:28,112 --> 01:13:32,037 "And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying," 1288 01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:36,872 "'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest" 1289 01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:40,629 "'blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.'" 1290 01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:44,387 "And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon" 1291 01:13:44,462 --> 01:13:49,434 "the lambs and sloth's and carp and anchovies and Orangutan's" 1292 01:13:49,967 --> 01:13:52,390 "and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and..." 1293 01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:53,972 Skip a bit, Brother. 1294 01:13:55,765 --> 01:13:57,893 "The Lord spake, saying," 1295 01:13:57,975 --> 01:14:00,524 "'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin," 1296 01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:05,780 "'then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less." 1297 01:14:06,692 --> 01:14:09,366 "'Three shalt be the number thou shalt count," 1298 01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:12,449 "'and the number of the counting shalt be three." 1299 01:14:13,032 --> 01:14:16,662 "'Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two," 1300 01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:19,877 "'excepting that thou then proceed to three." 1301 01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:23,551 "'Five is right out." 1302 01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:28,214 “Once the number three, being the third number be reached, 1303 01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:31,885 "'then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch 1304 01:14:32,009 --> 01:14:35,730 "'towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, 1305 01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:38,062 "'shall snuff it."' 1306 01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:39,896 Amen. 1307 01:14:40,059 --> 01:14:41,151 ALL: Amen. 1308 01:14:41,227 --> 01:14:42,319 Right. 1309 01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:45,232 One, two, five! 1310 01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:47,191 Three, sir! Three! 1311 01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:15,728 [ ALL PANTING NERVOUSLY ] 1312 01:15:33,154 --> 01:15:34,656 There! Look! 1313 01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:36,665 What does it say? 1314 01:15:36,782 --> 01:15:37,954 What language is that? 1315 01:15:38,034 --> 01:15:40,287 Brother Maynard, you're our scholar. 1316 01:15:40,453 --> 01:15:42,000 It is Aramaic! 1317 01:15:42,329 --> 01:15:45,208 Of course. Joseph of Arimathea! 1318 01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:46,542 Of course. 1319 01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:47,672 What does it say? 1320 01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:51,097 It reads, "Here may be found" 1321 01:15:51,172 --> 01:15:54,802 "the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. 1322 01:15:55,509 --> 01:15:58,763 "'He who is valiant and pure of spirit 1323 01:15:59,555 --> 01:16:01,774 "'may find the Holy Grail 1324 01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:06,400 "'in the Castle of Aaargh."' 1325 01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:09,486 What? 1326 01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:14,078 "The Castle of Aaargh." 1327 01:16:14,737 --> 01:16:15,989 What is that? 1328 01:16:16,530 --> 01:16:18,749 He must have died while carving it. 1329 01:16:18,824 --> 01:16:20,167 Come on! 1330 01:16:20,284 --> 01:16:21,661 That's what it says. 1331 01:16:21,786 --> 01:16:25,381 Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve "Aaargh." 1332 01:16:25,581 --> 01:16:27,208 He'd just say it. 1333 01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:29,006 That's what's carved in the rock. 1334 01:16:29,251 --> 01:16:30,252 Perhaps he was dictating it. 1335 01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:31,383 Shut up! 1336 01:16:31,462 --> 01:16:32,509 Does it say anything else? 1337 01:16:32,671 --> 01:16:33,763 No! 1338 01:16:33,839 --> 01:16:37,093 Just "Aaargh." 1339 01:16:39,053 --> 01:16:41,476 Aaargh. 1340 01:16:41,555 --> 01:16:45,310 Do you suppose he meant the Camargue? 1341 01:16:45,392 --> 01:16:47,394 Where's that? In France, I think. 1342 01:16:47,478 --> 01:16:50,948 Isn't there a St. Aaargh's in Cornwall? 1343 01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:52,491 No, that's St. Ives. 1344 01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:54,739 LANCELOT: Si. Wes. 1345 01:16:54,944 --> 01:16:56,412 [ EXCLAIMING ] 1346 01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:59,453 No, "Aaargh." At the back of the throat. 1347 01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:02,661 No, "Ooh," in surprise and alarm! 1348 01:17:02,910 --> 01:17:04,287 Oh, you mean a sort of an "Ah!" 1349 01:17:04,370 --> 01:17:05,667 Yes, that's right. 1350 01:17:05,996 --> 01:17:06,997 Ahhh! 1351 01:17:07,373 --> 01:17:08,374 My God! 1352 01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:10,217 [ ROARING ] 1353 01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:13,884 It's the legendary Black Beast of... 1354 01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:16,011 Aaargh! 1355 01:17:16,173 --> 01:17:19,143 ARTHUR: That's it! Run away! 1356 01:17:24,056 --> 01:17:25,308 [ ALL SHOUTING ] 1357 01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:30,396 Keep running. 1358 01:17:35,109 --> 01:17:36,110 [ WHISPERING ] We've lost him. 1359 01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:37,194 [ BEAST ROARS ] 1360 01:17:37,278 --> 01:17:38,325 [ KNIGHTS SCREAMING ] 1361 01:17:38,404 --> 01:17:41,123 NARRATOR: As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, 1362 01:17:41,740 --> 01:17:44,539 escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. 1363 01:17:44,618 --> 01:17:48,623 When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. 1364 01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:51,550 The cartoon peril was no more. 1365 01:17:52,334 --> 01:17:55,213 The quest for the Holy Grail could continue. 1366 01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:08,976 There it is! 1367 01:18:09,226 --> 01:18:11,274 The Bridge of Death. 1368 01:18:11,395 --> 01:18:13,443 ROBIN: [ UNENTHUSIASTICALLY ] Great. 1369 01:18:13,606 --> 01:18:16,576 ARTHUR: Look! There's the old man from Scene 24. 1370 01:18:16,650 --> 01:18:18,448 BEDEVERE: What's he doing here? 1371 01:18:18,611 --> 01:18:20,409 He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. 1372 01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:23,249 He asks each traveller five questions. 1373 01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:25,292 Three questions. Three questions. 1374 01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:27,836 He who answers the five questions... 1375 01:18:27,912 --> 01:18:28,959 Three questions. 1376 01:18:29,038 --> 01:18:31,211 Three questions, may cross in safety. 1377 01:18:31,332 --> 01:18:33,505 What if you get a question wrong? 1378 01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:37,088 Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. 1379 01:18:37,338 --> 01:18:38,840 Oh, wacko. 1380 01:18:38,964 --> 01:18:40,511 Who's going to answer the questions? 1381 01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:43,477 Brave Sir Robin, you go. 1382 01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:46,222 I've got a great idea. 1383 01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:48,394 Why doesn't Lancelot go? 1384 01:18:48,474 --> 01:18:51,227 Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. 1385 01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,062 I shall make a feint to the north-east... 1386 01:18:53,187 --> 01:18:54,985 Hang on! 1387 01:18:55,189 --> 01:18:56,469 Just answer the five questions... 1388 01:18:56,565 --> 01:18:57,817 Three questions. 1389 01:18:57,900 --> 01:19:01,905 Three questions, as best you can. And we shall watch and pray. 1390 01:19:02,112 --> 01:19:03,955 I understand, my liege. 1391 01:19:04,198 --> 01:19:07,828 Good luck, brave Sir Lancelot. God be with you. 1392 01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,336 Stop! 1393 01:19:14,917 --> 01:19:17,215 Who would cross the Bridge of Death, 1394 01:19:17,294 --> 01:19:19,547 must answer me these questions three. 1395 01:19:19,713 --> 01:19:21,932 Ere the other side he see. 1396 01:19:22,132 --> 01:19:25,136 Ask me the questions, bridge keeper I'm not afraid. 1397 01:19:25,386 --> 01:19:27,263 What is your name? 1398 01:19:27,388 --> 01:19:29,311 My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot. 1399 01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:31,809 What is your quest? 1400 01:19:32,059 --> 01:19:34,107 To seek the Holy Grail. 1401 01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:36,731 What is your favourite colour? 1402 01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:38,236 Blue. 1403 01:19:38,357 --> 01:19:39,449 Right. Off you go. 1404 01:19:40,901 --> 01:19:42,824 Well, thank you very much. 1405 01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:48,500 That's easy. 1406 01:19:51,537 --> 01:19:52,584 Stop. 1407 01:19:53,330 --> 01:19:55,583 Who approacheth the Bridge of Death, 1408 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:58,006 must answer me these questions three. 1409 01:19:58,377 --> 01:20:00,596 Ere the other side he see. 1410 01:20:01,422 --> 01:20:04,175 Ask me the questions, bridge keeper I'm not afraid. 1411 01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:06,010 What is your name? 1412 01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:07,887 Sir Robin of Camelot. 1413 01:20:08,345 --> 01:20:09,847 What is your quest? 1414 01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:11,474 To seek the Holy Grail. 1415 01:20:11,807 --> 01:20:13,935 What is the capital of Assyria? 1416 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:18,067 I don't know that! 1417 01:20:18,480 --> 01:20:21,359 [ SCREAMING ] 1418 01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:27,914 Stop! 1419 01:20:28,824 --> 01:20:30,542 What is your name? 1420 01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:32,377 Sir Galahad of Camelot. 1421 01:20:32,578 --> 01:20:34,751 What is your quest? 1422 01:20:34,830 --> 01:20:36,082 I seek the Grail. 1423 01:20:36,915 --> 01:20:39,509 What is your favourite colour? 1424 01:20:39,585 --> 01:20:40,757 Blue. 1425 01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:41,883 No! Yellow! 1426 01:20:42,087 --> 01:20:45,261 [ SCREAMING ] 1427 01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:49,094 [ CACKLING ] 1428 01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:50,392 Stop! 1429 01:20:50,596 --> 01:20:52,598 What is your name? 1430 01:20:52,723 --> 01:20:54,691 It is Arthur, King of the Britons. 1431 01:20:55,100 --> 01:20:56,852 What is your quest? 1432 01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:58,775 To seek the Holy Grail. 1433 01:20:59,605 --> 01:21:02,950 What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? 1434 01:21:03,734 --> 01:21:06,613 What do you mean? An African or European swallow? 1435 01:21:07,613 --> 01:21:09,115 I don't know that! 1436 01:21:09,365 --> 01:21:13,245 [ SCREAMING ] 1437 01:21:15,412 --> 01:21:17,790 How do you know so much about swallows? 1438 01:21:17,915 --> 01:21:20,589 You have to know these things when you're a king. 1439 01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:39,479 [ ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING ] 1440 01:22:00,457 --> 01:22:01,504 Lancelot! 1441 01:22:07,965 --> 01:22:09,012 Lancelot! 1442 01:22:13,303 --> 01:22:16,523 [ POLICE RADIO CHATTERING ] 1443 01:22:17,850 --> 01:22:19,193 ARTHUR: Lancelot! 1444 01:24:08,794 --> 01:24:13,140 The Castle Aaargh. Our quest is at an end. 1445 01:24:31,817 --> 01:24:33,410 God be praised. 1446 01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:38,411 Almighty God, 1447 01:24:38,490 --> 01:24:42,415 we thank thee, that thou hast vouchsafed to us the most holy... 1448 01:24:42,536 --> 01:24:43,537 [ CATAPULT FIRING ] 1449 01:24:44,496 --> 01:24:46,624 [ SHEEP BLEATING ] Jesus Christ! 1450 01:24:47,833 --> 01:24:50,086 Hello, stuffy English knights 1451 01:24:50,168 --> 01:24:53,092 and Monsieur Arthur King, who has the brain of a duck, you know. 1452 01:24:53,171 --> 01:24:56,220 So, we French fellows outwit you a second time. 1453 01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:59,304 How dare you profane this place with your presence? 1454 01:24:59,845 --> 01:25:03,770 I command you, in the name of the knights of Camelot, 1455 01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:06,986 to open the doors of this sacred castle, 1456 01:25:07,185 --> 01:25:10,655 to which God himself has guided us. 1457 01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:13,279 How you English say? One more time, 1458 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:15,869 I unclog my nose in your direction, 1459 01:25:16,153 --> 01:25:17,621 sons of a window-dresser! 1460 01:25:17,696 --> 01:25:20,290 So, you think you could out-clever us French folk 1461 01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:23,960 with your silly knees-bent, running about, advancing behaviour. 1462 01:25:24,036 --> 01:25:26,835 I wave my private parts at your aunties. 1463 01:25:27,122 --> 01:25:29,545 You cheesy lot of second-hand, 1464 01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:31,719 electric donkey-bottom biters! 1465 01:25:31,793 --> 01:25:33,887 In the name of the Lord, 1466 01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:37,725 we demand entrance to this sacred castle! 1467 01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:40,640 No chance, English bed-wetting types. 1468 01:25:40,719 --> 01:25:42,813 I burst my pimples at you, and call your 1469 01:25:42,888 --> 01:25:44,982 door-opening request a silly thing! 1470 01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:48,482 You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms. 1471 01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:52,235 If you'll not open this door, we shall take this castle by force! 1472 01:25:54,066 --> 01:25:56,569 In the name of God and the glory of our... 1473 01:25:58,236 --> 01:26:00,739 Right! That settles it! 1474 01:26:01,573 --> 01:26:04,668 Depart at this time, and don't be approaching any more, 1475 01:26:04,743 --> 01:26:07,087 or we fire arrows into your heads, 1476 01:26:07,204 --> 01:26:09,502 and make castanets out of your testicles. 1477 01:26:09,581 --> 01:26:11,174 Walk away, just ignore them. 1478 01:26:11,249 --> 01:26:15,220 And now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! 1479 01:26:15,337 --> 01:26:17,590 And, if you think you got a nasty 1480 01:26:17,756 --> 01:26:20,009 taunting this time, you ain't heard 1481 01:26:20,092 --> 01:26:23,596 nothing yet, stuffy English knights! 1482 01:26:24,596 --> 01:26:25,973 [ JEERING ] 1483 01:26:45,450 --> 01:26:46,952 We shall attack at once. 1484 01:26:47,077 --> 01:26:48,579 Yes, my liege. 1485 01:26:48,745 --> 01:26:50,622 Stand by for attack! 1486 01:27:50,265 --> 01:27:51,687 French persons! 1487 01:27:51,850 --> 01:27:53,067 [ JEERING ] 1488 01:27:53,143 --> 01:27:56,568 Today the blood of many a valiant knight shall be avenged. 1489 01:27:56,938 --> 01:28:00,283 In the name of God, we shall not stop our fight 1490 01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:05,159 till each one of you lies dead, and the Holy Grail 1491 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:08,875 returns to those whom God has chosen. 1492 01:28:09,201 --> 01:28:10,327 [ FRENCHMEN LAUGHING IN DERISION ] 1493 01:28:10,410 --> 01:28:11,707 ARTHUR: Charge! 1494 01:28:11,787 --> 01:28:15,667 [ ALL SHOUTING ] 1495 01:28:33,099 --> 01:28:35,477 [ SIREN WAILING ] 1496 01:28:38,980 --> 01:28:41,403 Yes, they're the ones, I'm sure. 1497 01:28:41,566 --> 01:28:43,284 [ POLICEMEN SHOUTING ORDERS ] 1498 01:28:43,401 --> 01:28:45,495 [ POLICE RADIO CHATTERING ] 1499 01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:48,324 Come on. 1500 01:28:48,448 --> 01:28:49,700 Put this man in the van. 1501 01:28:53,578 --> 01:28:54,921 Put him in the van. 1502 01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:56,423 Get a blanket over that one. 1503 01:28:56,706 --> 01:28:59,255 Come on, back! Right back! 1504 01:29:01,503 --> 01:29:03,756 That's an offensive weapon, that is. 1505 01:29:04,297 --> 01:29:06,595 [ POLICEMEN BARKING ORDERS ] 1506 01:29:07,050 --> 01:29:09,348 All right, sonny, that's enough. Pack that in. 1507 01:29:09,511 --> 01:29:10,512 [ GLASS SHATTERING ] 105763

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