Original subtitles

Watch this contestant attack his slice.

And it's a new record!

lt's a battle to consume

the most watermelon

in the shortest time.

This one wants the plate too!

And now for the pip-spitting competition.

This contestant's meager performance

causes general hilarity.

Even the children beat him.

This one has the knack,

he spits it more than 30 feet!

But with no front teeth,

you drop your pip before you spit!

The price of watermelon is now so low

that it's more profitable

to sell the juice and the market is awash!

Guess the price of a 24 oz. jug?

15 Taiwan dollars.

Cheaper than mineral water!

Everybody's drinking it

and now ex-congressmen want in on the market.

Look at the figures:

this juice bar

is taking in 50,000 dollars a day.

That's a cool

1 ,500,000 dollars per month.

And watermelon can open your heart! lt's the ideal way to send a message.

Of course

ln this summer day

There's no better or cheaper method!

lt lets you express

what you can't say out loud.

There's a whole lovers' code:

a small yellow one

means you're just good friends.

A big red one

means you're wildly in love.

And regular melons,

despite their small size,

are reserved

for the most ardent passion!

Here you see

a group of students,

too shy to declare their love,

going out with ''guardian angels''

friends dressed as watermelons

to deliver watermelons

to the girls' dormitories.

When the girls receive them

they blush,

and their hearts swell with pride.

The river bed is almost dry,

even upstream.

These low rain levels

don't normally occur until February.

The dry weather covers a wide area:

the vast majority of rivers

are affected.

A severe drought

can therefore be expected.

Weather patterns in recent years

and low water stocks

are fueling the sense of alarm.

lnvest in buckets to store water!

We are going to suffer a serious drought.

But water,buy bucket,keep water.

Our sales are up 150%.

Business is booming.

Get your water buckets here! Top quality guaranteed!

The Yilan mineral water company

has trebled its output.

Two-gallon flagons are especially in demand.

Not only flagons,

Suppliers of water-coolers are also delighted

and have stepped up deliveries to 7 days a week.

Taiwan is in the grips of panic

over the widespread drought.

The main reservoir has become a cause for concern.

The water level,

which is still falling, is now only 107 feet.

Taps are dry from 2 pm to 10 pm

and everyday life is in turmoil.

What are you looking for?

My keys.

Ain't no keys here.

Move out of the way. Don't stand there.

Listen, lady, there ain't no keys here.

lt's dangerous.

We got work to do.

There ain't no keys.

Stop hanging around.

There ain't no keys, l said.

The strategy from Congress

is to invoke higher authority.

Taiwan is so dry

May there be rains from on high

From our people and Congress, hear our cry!

Do you want rain in Taiwan?

Yes.

Do you want rain in Taiwan?

Yes.

What's up?

She's got ants.

Here.

No nightingale's sweet tune No flowers in bloom

Can soothe my heart so blue

l look out from my room Amid my gloom

And there alone is a half-moon

No bright shining star No cloud from afar

Only in my dreams do l find you

l've only my memories to carry me through

And there alone is that half-moon

The poor moon's torn apart

lt's lost half its heart

ls it shining down there on you?

Our old dreams never will come true

Cold neon lights Long shadows in the night

They make my lonesome soul so blue

The night breeze stirs in my room

And still alone is that half-moon

The night breeze stirs in my room

And still alone is that half-moon

Are you still selling watches?

The first day that we met

We knew we never would forget

This everlasting love Such unforgettable love

Like the two wings of a dove

Side by side up above

Look at me,

don't be sulky, don't be sulky

l'll be everything you need

The first day that we met

We knew we never would forget

This everlasting love

Such unforgettable love

As two trees grow intertwined

The highest love we will find

Look at me,

stand by me, stand by me

l'll be everything you need

The first day that we met

We knew we never would forget

This everlasting love

Such unforgettable love

As two trees grow intertwined

The highest love we will find

Look at me,

stand by me, stand by me

l'll be everything you need

The first day that we met

We knew we never would forget

This everlasting love

Such unforgettable love

How could we forget The day that we met

No more water?

l don't believe this!

Go get some!

Get a move on!

l can't find my eyelashes!

Can you see my lashes?

What?

l haven't a sou

But a heart, yes l do

And this heart, l tell you

ls loving and warm

But so sad and forlorn

l've been so often betrayed

By men brutal and jaded

So often degraded

And so, come what may l'd throw everything away

Rather than lead my heart astray

l haven't a sou

l'd sell my soul too

To keep my heart true

To keep my heart true

l haven't a sou

l'd sell my soul too

To keep my heart true

To keep my heart true

l crawl out of bed And shake my sleepy head

Suddenly it dawns on me l got the whole day free

l have a date with lovely Chen, l must look good, but then

l see my shoes, what a fright The left foot's on the right!

Already l am running late l mustn't make her wait

l see her with her back to me She looks like harmony

To show her that l think she's bliss l plant a big wet kiss

She turns around and punches me lt wasn't Chen, you see

Later comes the real Miss Chen lt's way past 12 by then

l tell her that l hate to wait And ask her why she's late

She still has slippers on Her skirt is hitched up wrong

Turns out that she's as scared as me And nervous as can be

Oh what fun we had that day The time just slipped away

We danced and had a walk And sat down for a talk

But when l see it's time to go Oh, what a fearful blow

She wasn't Chen, her name was Hsiao And she thought l was Zhao

The cap's inside the Japanese girl.

Lin

What do you want?

Fish that cap out.

Need a hand?

Don't look down, don't look back

Look straight ahead and find your track

Follow it with a fearless stride

And happiness will be your prize

Gently let your spirits rise

Walk straight on with head held high

All obstacles you'll put aside

For happiness you need to strive

Be sure to keep your eyes on the goal

And share your joy with one and all

Follow the path with fearless stride

And happiness will be your prize

Gently let your spirits rise

Walk straight on with head held high

All obstacles you'll put aside

For happiness you have to strive

Don't look down, don't look back

Look straight ahead and find your track

Follow it with a fearless stride

And happiness will be your prize

Gently let your spirits rise

Walk straight on with head held high

All obstacles you'll put aside

For happiness you need to strive-----

Back to work.

Come on...

Wipe her down.

Sit her up.

OK, wipe her back.

Turn her over.

Turn her over,

Come on.

Take those off her.

That's good. l need you up higher.

That's better.OK, next.

Get a hold of her breasts.

That's good.

Good. Fondle them, that's it.

hands

Higher,and touch her breasts, and...

Lie her back.

Lie her down.

All the way down!

That's right. Good!

Give it here.

Put it down

Like this.

Ok,come on

Ok, like this.

l'm beat.

Keep going. Harder!

Keep going.

l tell you what to do.

OK, sitting position.

Hold her there.

That's good.

Come on

Move .

Open, wide open

Take off your hands.

Come on.

Come on, lie down.

This...

Come on, ,l'll do it.

Lie down

Come on, ,l'll do it.

A wayward cloud Lonesome and proud

Slipping through my hand To a far-off land

My heartless love

Drifting high above

Drifting high above

Like a wayward cloud

With no earthly bound

His lonely hours pass like wilting flowers

As he watches life drift by

A sole shadow, with the world below Like a wayward cloud

A wayward cloud Lonesome and proud

Slipping through my hand To a far-off land

My heartless love Drifting high above

Drifting high above

Like a wayward cloud

My love like to travel around the world

Everywhere is home The wind blow/ he horse run

Travel to far-off land

and leave me behind Thinking of him day and night

A sole shadow, with the world below

Like a wayward cloud

My heartless love

Drifting high above

Drifting high above

Like a wayward cloud With no earthly bound