Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[ SILENCE ]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[MAN] PICTURE THIS.

HA HA HA.

YOU'RE LYING ON A DESERTED BEACH.

THE SAND IS SOFT.

SUN FEELS GOOD.

YOU SLIP OUT OF YOUR BIKINI AND JUST LIE THERE...

ALL NAKED AND WARM.

HA HA HA.

I REACH OVER TO THAT DRINK BESIDE YOU

AND TAKE OUT AN ICE CUBE,

PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH...

TWIRL IT AROUND WITH YOUR TONGUE A LITTLE BIT.

[WOMAN LAUGHS]

YOU'D LIKE THAT.

NOW SLIDE IT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

LET THE COOL WATER RUN DOWN ALL OVER YOUR LIPS.

[WOMAN MOANS]

TAKE THE ICE.

O.K.

RUN IT DOWN YOUR NECK,

ACROSS YOUR BREAST TO YOUR NIPPLE.

TO MY NIPPLE. O.K.

OH, IT'S COLD.

HA HA!

AHEM.

IT'S COLD.

HA HA! HA HA!

NOW RUN IT DOWN YOUR STOMACH,

AROUND YOUR BELLYBUTTON.

MY STOMACH?

OH, OOH.

THEN ACROSS YOUR HIP TO YOUR THIGH.

I AM. I AM. O.K.

OH, IT FEELS GOOD.

OH, IT'S WET.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

[SIGHS]

NOW RUN IT ALL THE WAY UP

THE INSIDE OF YOUR THIGH.

OHH.

OH, GOD.

OH, YES.

[BEEPING]

SHIT.

SHIT?

NO.

LISTEN, HONEY, UM...

GO GRAB...GO GRAB ANOTHER ICE CUBE, O.K.?

NO.

HELLO?

[MAN] JOEY.

HEY, MICKEY.

HEY, LISTEN, MICK, I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW.

ARE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE?

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. LISTEN TO ME.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM, KID.

HARVEY'S OUT OF JAIL,

AND HE'S LOOKING FOR YOU.

SHIT. DID YOU TALK TO HIM?

NO, BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.

HE JUST GOT OUT LAST NIGHT,

AND HE'S REALLY ANGRY.

GOD DAMN IT. WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?

YOU'RE HIS PROBLEM.

THIS GUY STILL THINKS YOU SET HIM UP.

[SIGHS]

LOOK, JUST BE CAREFUL TILL I FIX IT.

THIS GUY'S LIABLE TO KILL YOU.

WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR TONIGHT?

WHAT IS IT? WEDNESDAY?

I GOT ISABELLA.

BELLA ISABELLA.

LOOK, DROP BY TOMORROW, WE'LL HAVE LUNCH,

WE'LL STRAIGHTEN THIS HARVEY THING OUT.

ALL RIGHT. THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

THANKS FOR THE WARNING.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

OH, JEEZ. ELENA, I'M SORRY.

UH, DID YOU GET THE ICE?

YEAH. I'D LIKE TO PACK YOUR HEAD IN IT, PRICK.

[DIAL TONE]

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME NOW?

IN THE PARK?

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER

THAN HAVING A SCENE IN THE APARTMENT.

OR EASIER FOR YOU,

BECAUSE I'D BE TOO EMBARRASSED TO MAKE A SCENE

IN FRONT OF THE DAMN WORLD, IS THAT IT?

NO. CONNIE...

EXCUSE ME, WORLD!

I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW

THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS TEARING MY HEART OUT

HERE TODAY,

BECAUSE SHE SUDDENLY DECIDED

SHE NEEDS MORE SPACE.

O.K.?

SO WOULD EVERYBODY

PLEASE GIVE HER

SOME MORE SPACE?

RIGHT, RIGHT.

I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS IN PRIVATE.

LISTEN, HONEY,

YOU COULD LEARN THE FUCKING CODE OF SILENCE,

AND IT WOULDN'T MATTER.

SO, WHAT, YOU DUMPING ME?

ARE YOU DUMPING ME?

NO, I'M NOT. I--I JUST...

I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO SORT THINGS OUT.

I'VE FELT THIS WAY FOR A LONG TIME.

I GUESS...

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING 'CAUSE I HOPED IT WOULD CHANGE.

IT WILL. IT WILL CHANGE.

WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN OUT OF TOWN.

WE'VE GOT CABIN FEVER. LET'S TAKE A VACATION.

LET'S GO TO THE POCONOS.

THAT'S NOT IT, CONNIE.

IT'S THE WEDDING? WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THEIR WEDDING.

MY PARENTS WILL LIVE.

IT WAS A PERFECT TIME TO TELL THEM ABOUT US--

IT'S NOT THAT. IT'S US.

IT'S US.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.

JUST PLEASE...

PLEASE TRY AND UNDERSTAND.

I--I--I HAVE TO DO THIS.

I LOVE YOU.

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME, O.K.?

I HAVE TO.

I NEED TO FIGURE A FEW THINGS OUT.

I HAVE TO BE AWAY FROM YOU TO DO THAT.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I FOUND AN APARTMENT.

WHAT?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU PLANNED THIS?

I HAVE TO GO.

NO! ELLEN, WAIT!

OH...

WAIT!

I DON'T FEEL PRETTY,

AND I DON'T FEEL SEXY.

AND, UH...

I DON'T FEEL DESIRABLE.

AND SOMEHOW I THINK IT'S...

ALL MY FAULT,

LIKE I MUST'VE DONE SOMETHING REAL WRONG.

ISABELLA, YOU'RE WRONG.

DON'T YOU SEE HE DID THIS TO YOU?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY.

IT'S, UM...

JUST THAT I'M AFRAID I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE...

YOU KNOW, THOSE--THOSE FEELINGS.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

WHY?

JUST DO IT.

TRUST ME.

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND...

YOUR FIRST LOVER?

DO YOU?

YES.

EXPLORING ONE ANOTHER'S BODIES,

SKIN AGAINST SKIN,

KISSING EACH OTHER...

FOREVER AND EVER.

DO YOU REMEMBER HOW THAT MADE YOU FEEL?

YES.

YOU STILL HAVE ALL THOSE FEELINGS.

OHH.

GOD, IT'S JUST BEEN SO LONG SINCE ANYONE'S TOUCHED ME.

I WANT TO TOUCH YOU.

WE'RE BACK AT HER PLACE,

I'M ON TOP OF HER,

THE BED'S ROCKING LIKE A HORSE,

HER TITS WHACK ME.

THE LIGHT FLICKS ON.

GUESS WHO'S THERE WITH MY PANTS IN HIS HANDS?

HER HUSBAND.

YEAH. HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

SHIT. YOU DIDN'T KNOW SHE HAD A HUSBAND?

NO.

SO I'M STANDING THERE, SCRAMBLING FOR MY SHOES.

I TURN AROUND, AND SHE'S YELLING,

"IRV, IRV, TODAY'S WEDNESDAY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

JOEY, HOW MANY TIMES DO I GOT TO TELL YOU,

THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU GO IN

IS YOU LOOK AT THE WEDDING PICTURES ON THE WALL.

THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IF SHE'S MARRIED.

HOW DO YOU STAY SO FUCKING TRIM?

DO ME A FAVOR. TAKE THIS SHIT.

I DON'T WANT IT.

I'M GOING ON A DIET RIGHT NOW.

SO, WHAT'S THE PUNCH LINE?

WHAT'S THE PUNCH LINE? THERE'S NO PUNCH LINE.

THE HUSBAND WALKS IN--

YOU GET THE MONEY?

WHAT?

THE MONEY FROM ISABELLA.

NO, I DIDN'T GET THE MONEY.

WHAT DO I TELL YOU, JOEY?

GET THE MONEY FIRST.

JESUS CHRIST.

YOU MIND ME ASKING YOU ONE THING?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

YOU GOT TO GET THE MONEY FIRST.

YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE YOURSELF A FUCKING HEART ATTACK.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU SAY IT AFTER ME.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I DIDN'T WEAR ANY PANTIES.

OH, COME ON. YOU CAN TELL ME MORE.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?

DON'T START WITH ME.

SOUNDS DELICIOUS.

YOU LOVE THAT, DON'T YOU?

COME ON, BABY.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

CHRIST ALMIGHTY.

DO IT AGAIN, BABY.

JOEY...

THAT'S RIGHT.

HOW ARE WE DOING HERE?

HARDER, BABY.

OHH.

OH, IT'S TOO BIG.

OH, BABY.

[MOANING]

IT'S TOO BIG.

OH, IT HURTS.

OH, OH, BABY.

JOEY.

HEY, WHAT'S UP?

ARE YOU CHEATING ME?

WHAT?

ARE YOU CHEATING ME?

'CAUSE IF YOU'RE CHEATING ME,

THAT WOULD HURT ME... VERY BAD.

I MEAN, CONSIDERING OUR RELATIONSHIP,

CONSIDERING THAT I'M THE GUY

THAT'S GOING TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THIS MESS WITH HARVEY.

YOU REMEMBER HARVEY.

HE THINKS YOU WENT TO THE COPS AND SENT HIM AWAY.

YOU KNOW I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

WHAT'S THIS CHEATING? I WOULDN'T RIP YOU OFF.

I KNOW.

AND I'M SURE YOU APPRECIATE EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU.

I POLISHED YOU LIKE A DIAMOND

SO YOU COULD SPARKLE FOR ALL THOSE RICH BITCHES ON PARK AVENUE.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, O.K.?

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. YOU WERE RIGHT. I'M WRONG.

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. I PROMISE.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY.

I'M JUST CHECKING.

ALL RIGHT.

SO WHAT'S UP FOR TONIGHT?

YOU GOT SOMETHING FOR ME?

IT'S A GOOD SPACE. IT FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?

YES, IT FEELS GREAT.

IT REMINDS ME OF THAT MOVIE,

THAT MOVIE WITH THE PUERTO RICAN GIRL AND THE INDUSTRIALIST,

OFF-THE-SHOULDER SWEATSHIRT.

WHAT WAS THAT?

FLASHDANCE.

YOU KNOW, ELLEN, IT'S VERY ARCHITECTURAL.

YOU HATE IT.

I DON'T HATE IT.

IT'S O.K.

IT'S NOT WEST PORT, BUT WHAT IS?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

DON'T BE NASTY.

YOU JUST SOUNDED LIKE MOM WHEN YOU SAID THAT.

"GIRLS, GOOD MANNERS ARE THE BACKBONE OF SOCIETY."

[BEEP]

[CONNIE] ELLEN?

ELLEN, ARE YOU THERE?

THIS IS SO WEIRD.

HONEY, PLEASE PICK UP.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, O.K.?

I LOVE YOU.

[BEEP]

I JUST THINK IT'S BETTER

IF WE DON'T TALK FOR A WHILE.

GOOD IDEA.

DOES THIS NEED LIGHT?

I CAN NEVER REMEMBER IF IT'S...

A LOT OF LIGHT AND A LITTLE WATER

OR A LITTLE LIGHT AND A LOT OF WATER.

EITHER WAY, I'LL KILL IT.

WE'VE NEVER REALLY TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE, BUT--

I REALLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING, BUT I'M FINE.

WELL, NOT FINE, BUT I'M HERE.

I'M ABOUT TO HUMILIATE MYSELF

IN FRONT OF A CLASS FULL OF ENGLISH MAJORS,

BUT I'M...I'M MOVING FORWARD, RIGHT?

ELLEN, I CARE ABOUT YOU.

I'M YOUR SISTER.

I'M NOT JUST SOME BITCH FROM CONNECTICUT.

I LOVE YOU.

I KNOW.

I UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS HOMOSEXUAL--

BISEXUAL--

WHATEVER THING.

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YES, I DO.

I WASN'T WITH CONNIE BECAUSE...

IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS TRYING A NEW PERM OR SOMETHING.

SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

YOU WERE WEAK.

YOU WERE AN EMOTIONAL MESS.

I REMEMBER. I WAS THERE.

CONNIE JUST SWOOPED IN AND TOOK CONTROL.

THAT IS BULLSHIT, O.K.?

CONNIE LOVED ME, AND I LOVED HER.

GET IT?

CONNIE HELPED ME, ALLISON.

SHE...

LOOK, LET'S JUST FORGET IT, O.K.?

I DON'T--

LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

O.K.

I'M SORRY.

BESIDES,

I DECIDED NO DATING,

NO MORE RELATIONSHIPS,

NOTHING.

[SIREN]

IT'LL BE FUN.

NO.

NO, IT WON'T BE FUN.

IT'LL BE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF FUN.

IT'LL BE A LIVING HELL.

IT'S JUST A WEDDING.

LORENZO, PLEASE.

MY YOUNGER SISTER'S GETTING MARRIED

IN FRONT OF HALF OF KRAKOW.

YOU EVER BEEN TO A POLISH WEDDING?

I'VE BEEN TO BAPTIST WEDDINGS.

FAMILY IS WEIRD SHIT, YOU KNOW?

BUT YOU SURVIVE IT. THAT'S THE THING ABOUT FAMILY.

THEY'RE EXPECTING--

I PROMISED THEM SOMETHING.

OH, WHAT?

THE WHOLE FAMILY'S GOING TO BE THERE, SO I--I...

I TOLD THEM I WAS GOING TO BRING MY FIANCE.

IT WAS TO BE MY MOMENT.

I WAS GOING TO COME OUT.

I WAS TO SAY, "THIS IS THE GIRL I'M IN LOVE WITH."

OPEN.

I WANTED THEM TO SEE ME AND ELLEN TOGETHER.

I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.

THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU?

THEY'RE OLD-WORLD POLACKS.

MY FATHER LOOKS AT ME AND SEES AN AGING NURSE WITHOUT HER DOCTOR.

BLOW IT OFF. SAY YOU'RE SICK.

MY...MY MOTHER IS SUCH A--

IF I WAS ON LIFE-SUPPORT,

MY MOTHER WOULD RIP OUT THE I.V.

AND DRAG ME TO THE CHURCH.

HA HA HA.

HEY. WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

YOUR FAMILY WOULD SHIT IF YOU BROUGHT HOME A BLACK MAN.

DON'T YOU KNOW ANY OTHER GUYS?

WHAT, LIKE NORMAL GUYS?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW ABOUT, UH...

WELL, THERE'S MR. GOODWRENCH.

HOW ABOUT THE ALLSTATE AGENT?

PERHAPS THE TIDYBOWL MAN.

I KNOW.

WAIT.

WHY DON'T YOU RENT A GUY?

HIRE A MALE ESCORT.

HEY.

HOW ARE YA?

I'M JOE CASELLA.

I'M CONNIE.

I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A SEC.

NICE PLACE YOU GOT HERE.

THANKS.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

YEAH?

YEAH.

I LIKE THE, UH... THE LEATHER.

LOOKS GOOD?

I DON'T THINK SO.

OH, YEAH.

UM...

BEFORE I FORGET, UH...

THERE'S A LITTLE FINANCIAL MATTER WE NEED TO DISCUSS.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T MEAN TO RUSH YOU, BUT...

I GOT TO GET PAID UP-FRONT.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW,

BEFORE.

OHH.

BEFORE WHAT?

AHEM.

WHATEVER YOU LIKE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

COULD YOU TAKE MY KEYS?

[SINGING IN LATIN]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

Don't say a word,

especially to my mother.

Just do what I tell you and follow my lead.

Got it?

Got it.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

Who is she with?

Weirdo.

From high school.

The high school weirdo.

He gives me the creeps.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

YOU HAVE A LOVELY FAMILY. THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

YOU'RE MISSING THE BEST PART.

THE RECEPTION.

I NEED THE BRIDESMAIDS A LITTLE CLOSER.

A LITTLE CLOSER.

HEY, FELLAS, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SMOKE.

OH, YOU'RE TAKING A PICTURE?

JOE, MY MAMA WANTS YOU IN THE PICTURE.

OH, YOU WANT ME--

YOU WANT ME IN THE PHOTOGRAPH?

[SPEAKING POLISH]

I WANT YOU FOR PHOTOGRAPH.

WHERE DID YOU MEET HIM?

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

WE MET AT A MUSEUM.

OH.

WHEN I TURNED AND SAW YOUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER STANDING THERE...

WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS POLISH, FORGET IT.

IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

I'M PART POLISH, TOO.

YOU POLISH?

OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

W-W-WAIT A SEC.

CONNIE, TOO BAD YOU BROUGHT MR. ATTITUDE WITH YOU.

I MEAN, YOU AND ME,

WE COULD'VE HAD SOME FUN.

WHAT IS THAT? "I'M PART POLISH."

WHAT IS THAT, YOU KNOW?

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

HEY.

WHAT?

WE GOT A PROBLEM HERE?

EXCUSE ME?

NO PROBLEM.

SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

PADRE, CAN WE GET A SMILE?

IT'S A HAPPY OCCASION.

O.K., I'M GOING.

GET OVER HERE.

WE'RE TAKING A PICTURE.

EVERYONE, LOOK THIS WAY.

THIS WAY.

1...2...

3.

NICE.

VERY NICE.

THANK YOU.

♪ GIRL, GIRL, GIRL ♪

♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE UP YOUR MIND ♪

♪ MAKE UP YOUR MIND ♪

♪ GIRL, GIRL, GIRL ♪

♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE UP YOUR MIND ♪

♪ MAKE UP YOUR MIND ♪

♪ GIRL, GIRL ♪

♪ GIRL ♪

♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE UP YOUR MIND ♪

♪ MAKE UP YOUR MIND ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ AHH... ♪

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HI. IT'S ELLEN.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE, AND I'LL RETURN THE CALL.

THANKS.

[SINGING IN POLISH]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

HEY.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

PLAY THE SAMBA FOR ME.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

[SINGING IN PORTUGUESE]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

WHOO!

CATCH IT!

NO!

[CHANTING IN POLISH]

KISS HER!

KISS HER! KISS HER!

KISS HER!

[CHANTING IN POLISH]

[SINGING]

♪ AH, BUT MY HEART BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE ♪

♪ HOW COULD I BE SO BOLD... ♪

THAT WAS SOME KISS.

YEAH, WELL, WE, UH...

STILL GOT A COUPLE HOURS LEFT.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?

ANYTHING YOU WANT.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT TWO WOMEN?

SOUNDS GREAT.

THE MORE THE MERRIER.

SURE YOU CAN HANDLE IT?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

I DIDN'T HIRE YOU FOR THE REASONS YOU THINK.

OHH.

SO WHAT'D YOU HIRE ME FOR THEN, HUH?

BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME.

[HORN HONKS]

IT'S RIGHT UP HERE ON THE CORNER.

HEY, THANKS.

I HAD A GREAT TIME.

YOU SURE I, UH...

CAN'T CONVINCE YOU TO COME UPSTAIRS?

GET OUT OF HERE.

IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

O.K.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YA.

BYE.

OH, SHIT. MY KEYS.

J-JUST WAIT.

KEEP THE METER RUNNING, O.K.?

SHIT.

JOE.

JOE, YOU HAVE MY KEYS.

JOE.

OH, MY.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU SHOULD CALL THE POLICE.

NO, NO. NO COPS.

THEY CUT THE LINES.

L-LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, O.K.?

YOU CAN COME TO MY PLACE AND USE THE PHONE.

IT'S O.K. COME ON.

WHAT'S THIS, THE HAMPTONS?

JERSEY SHORE.

CAPE MAY.

IS THAT YOU?

YEAH. WHY?

'CAUSE IT LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE AXL ROSE.

THANKS.

THAT WAS UP IN THE CATSKILLS.

SHE LOOKS LIKE A MOVIE STAR, DOESN'T SHE?

LIKE VIVIEN LEIGH.

AUDREY HEPBURN.

SHIT.

I'M NOT GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.

I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO.

I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HER.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SHE'S GOING TO COME BACK.

SHE'S GOING TO COME RUNNING BACK.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?

I DON'T, BUT, YOU KNOW,

SHE'S--SHE'S ON THE REBOUND,

SHE'S VULNERABLE, SO...

ANY ASSHOLE THAT'S NICE TO HER GETS HER?

NO, BUT...

LOOK, DON'T GET MAD, BUT...

YOU KNOW, IS SHE... SHE ONLY INTO GIRLS, OR WHAT?

GIRLS?

LADIES, WOMEN.

WELL...NO.

SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND BEFORE ME.

BINGO.

PERFECT. I MEAN... WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE SHE'LL TRY A GUY.

SINCE MOST GUYS ARE ASSHOLES,

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE ONE OF THEM FUCKS HER OVER,

SO SHE'LL BE BACK IN YOUR ARMS SOON.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE IT'S MY JOB. I KNOW WOMEN.

[RING]

HELLO.

JOEY THERE?

YEAH. HE'S RIGHT HERE.

PUT HIM ON. JOEY.

HEY, MICK. YOU GOT THE MESSAGE.

I GOT THE MESSAGE.

I'LL BET YOU ANYTHING HARVEY DID THIS.

OF COURSE IT WAS HARVEY.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT. WHERE ARE YOU?

TALK TO THIS GUY. HE'S A FUCKING PSYCHO.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. WHERE ARE YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU CAN STAY WITH ME.

IF I COME TO YOUR PLACE,

HE'LL BE WAITING WITH A BLOWTORCH.

WHERE WILL YOU STAY?

I DON'T KNOW. HOTEL, I GUESS.

NO. COME TO MY HOUSE.

STAY HERE. STAY HERE TONIGHT.

JOEY, YOU COME TO MY--HELLO!

JOE!

HEY, MICK,

I'M GOING TO STAY HERE TONIGHT.

WHERE'S HERE?

A GIRL--A FRIEND.

SHE A CLIENT?

A FRIEND.

SHE'D BETTER NOT BE A CLIENT.

YOU GOT THE NUMBER?

TAKE CARE OF THIS FOR ME. CALL HIM.

YEAH. DON'T GO OUT.

TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.

LATER.

THANKS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ONLY FOR A DAY OR TWO,

TOPS.

WHAT?

YOU COULD DO IT, JOE.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU GET ELLEN BACK FOR ME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ARE YOU GOOD WITH WOMEN?

ARE YOU GOOD WITH YOUR JOB?

YEAH.

YOU CAN BREAK HER HEART

AND SEND HER RUNNING BACK TO ME.

LOOK, I'M GOING TO STAY HERE ON THE COUCH, O.K.?

NO, JOE, LOOK, IT'LL WORK.

I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.

YOU KNOW, SHE ALREADY LEFT ME.

JUST GO M--SEE HER. UH, MEET WITH HER.

YOU CAN SIT IN HER CLASS.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

O.K.

I'LL SLEEP ON IT, ALL RIGHT?

GREAT!

UH, GREAT. I MEAN, SLEEP ON IT.

THAT'LL--THAT'S-- THAT'LL WORK.

THAT'S-- THAT'S PERFECT.

SO LET'S START WITH INSPIRATION.

I'VE GOT SOMETHING

I'D LIKE TO READ FOR YOU TODAY.

IT'S FROM A NOVEL CALLED VICTORIA,

WRITTEN BY NEWT HAMPSON AROUND THE TURN OF THE CENTURY.

YOU MINIMALIST GUYS WILL THINK

IT'S A LITTLE OVER THE TOP,

BUT THAT'S THE POINT.

IT'S A LOVE STORY,

A TRAGIC LOVE STORY.

THE BEST KIND, RIGHT?

"DEAR JOHANN,

WHEN YOU READ THIS LETTER, I SHALL BE DEAD."

"EVERYTHING SEEMS SO STRANGE NOW.

"I DON'T FEEL ASHAMED TO WRITE TO YOU ANYMORE,

"AND I'M WRITING JUST AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED

TO PREVENT IT."

"BEFORE, WHEN I WAS FULLY ALIVE..."

"I WOULD RATHER HAVE SUFFERED NIGHT AND DAY

"THAN WRITTEN TO YOU AGAIN,

"BUT NOW I'VE STARTED TO DIE,

AND I DON'T THINK IN THAT WAY ANY LONGER."

"STRANGERS HAVE SEEN ME BLEED.

"FORGIVE ME FOR THE WRONG I'VE DONE YOU

"AND FOR NEVER HAVING THROWN MYSELF AT YOUR FEET

"AND BEGGED YOUR FORGIVENESS.

"I DO SO NOW WITH ALL MY HEART.

"BE HAPPY, JOHANN, AND GOODBYE FOREVER.

YOURS, VICTORIA."

SO YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT

IS TO WRITE A LETTER TO A LOVER.

IT CAN BE A REAL OR IMAGINARY PERSON.

WELL...

GOOD. SO... HAVE A GOOD WEEK.

THAT, UH...

JOHANN WAS A LUCKY GUY, HUH?

LUCKY?

VICTORIA DIES.

OH, SHE DIES? OH.

WELL, YOU KNOW...

AT LEAST HE WAS LOVED.

UH...

I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

YEAH.

O.K.

BYE-BYE.

BYE.

JOE?

YEAH. I'M IN THE BATHROOM.

HEY.

HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

ALL RIGHT.

SO DID YOU FIND HER?

RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.

HOW DID SHE LOOK? DID SHE LOOK HAPPY?

HAPPY? I DON'T KNOW.

SHE LOOKED NERVOUS.

IT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF CLASS.

WANT TO GRAB MY SUIT FOR ME?

SO W-WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?

I SAID I'D FUCK HER LIGHTS OUT AND BREAK HER HEART.

YOU GOT ANY DEODORANT?

YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

WHAT WAS-- WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

WHAT IS THIS, 20 QUESTIONS HERE? JESUS.

WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

SHE WAS ALL DRESSED UP. SHE LOOKED GREAT.

SLUT.

LISTEN, DO ME A FAVOR AND GRAB MY SHOES.

THEY'RE OUT IN THE HALLWAY.

GOD, I'M LATE.

WHAT'S THE BIG HURRY? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO WORK.

TO WORK?

YEAH.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

WHAT ABOUT ME AND ELLEN?

WHAT ABOUT ELLEN? WHAT ABOUT ELLEN?

PIECE OF CAKE. NO PROBLEM.

LISTEN, I-- I GOT TO RUN.

WHAT?

YOU--SHAVING CREAM.

OH, YEAH. O.K. THANKS.

BYE.

BYE. HAVE FUN.

SHIT.

I'M SORRY.

YOU WANT HER?

YEAH?

YOU GOT HER.

YOU O.K.? I GOT TO RUN.

O.K.

BYE.

YES.

GOOD EVENING.

BILLY, TOTO NEEDS A LITTLE TREAT.

THINK OF SOMETHING SPECIAL.

SURE WILL.

GOOD EVENING, MISS THOMAS.

GOOD EVENING, MITCH.

GOOD NIGHT, MITCH.

HAVE A NICE NIGHT, MISS THOMAS.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

IT'S NOT LOADED.

[GUNSHOT]

AAH!

"NOT LOADED"?

GOD, YOU DIDN'T THINK I KNEW IT WAS LOADED.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT GUN'S BEEN?

ROOM SERVICE.

HOLD ON!

HELP!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HELP ME!

FAKE IT.

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS BITCHES.

LIFESTYLES OF THE BITCHY AND THE FAMOUS,

OR THE INFAMOUS.

HA HA HA HA!

SHIT.

HAVING TROUBLE, LORD BYRON?

YEAH.

YOU DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT HOMEWORK.

LOOKS LIKE STUDY HALL FOR YOU.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I SPENT MY WHOLE SENIOR YEAR IN DETENTION.

YOU WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL?

YEAH. WHAT DID YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE STREET KIDS.

WHO FOUGHT HIS WAY OUT OF THE GHETTO?

YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MANY EPISODES OF MACGYVER.

I GREW UP OVER THE BRIDGE IN HACKENSACK.

MY OLD MAN RAN A LINCOLN MERCURY DEALERSHIP,

AND MY MOM...

SHE SPLIT.

THAT'S IT.

THE AMERICAN DREAM.

HOW DID YOU BECOME AN ESCORT?

I WATCHED TOO MANY MACGYVER EPISODES.

ALL RIGHT. SO WHAT'S THIS ASSIGNMENT?

SHE WANTS US TO WRITE SOME KIND OF LOVE LETTER.

BITCH.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GIVE HER ONE

THAT WILL MAKE HER BEAUTIFUL CHEEKS BLUSH.

GREAT.

UM...

SHOOT.

AS YOU CAME FROM THE HOT BATH,

I TOOK YOU BEFORE THE LONG MIRROR--

WHOA, WHOA.

AS...

OH.

"AS YOU CAME FROM THE HOT BATH,

"I TOOK YOU BEFORE THE LONG MIRROR.

"YOUR BREASTS QUIVERED IN MY HANDS.

"YOUR BUTTOCKS SHIVERED AGAINST ME.

"MY TONGUE MOVES INTO YOU...

"AND YOU BECOME HOLLOW,

"ABLAZE WITH WHIRLING LIGHT,

LIKE THE INSIDE OF A VAST, EXPANDING PEARL."

UM...

"I CANNOT FORGET THE PERFUMED DUSK

"INSIDE THE TENT OF YOUR BLACK HAIR,

"AS WE AWOKE IN THE DAWN TO THE LOVE

"AFTER A NIGHT OF LOVE.

"AT THIS MOMENT,

WE ARE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD."

"BUT NOW, EVERY MORNING, I WAKE ALONE..."

"DREAMING..."

UM...

"MY ARM IS YOUR SWEET FLESH PRESSING MY LIPS.

"WHAT CAN I WRITE TO YOU?

"SICK WITH LOVE, I LONG TO SEE YOU.

"I CAN WRITE ONLY I LOVE YOU,

I LOVE YOU..."

UM...

"I LOVE--I LOVE YOU."

THAT'S IT.

O.K.

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY. CLASS DISMISSED.

MR. CASELLA, COULD YOU STAY FOR A MINUTE?

UH, SURE. SURE.

THAT WAS A VERY BEAUTIFUL LETTER.

THANKS.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE VERY IN TOUCH

WITH THE FEMININE SIDE OF YOURSELF.

I NEVER KNEW THAT.

IN FACT, YOU WOULD HAVE TO HAVE BEEN A JAPANESE WOMAN.

UM...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOUR LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY A POET--

A JAPANESE POET NAMED MARAKIKO.

MR. CASELLA,

YOU'RE A PLAGIARIST.

GOODBYE.

SON OF A BITCH.

THAT'S JUST IT.

I AM A JAPANESE WOMAN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,

IT'S FUN BEING TRAPPED INSIDE THIS BODY?

ALL RIGHT. O.K. I'M SORRY.

ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS IMPRESS YOU.

YOU'RE LATE TO MY FIRST CLASS,

YOU PLAGIARIZE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY ANOTHER TEACHER.

I DON'T WANT ANOTHER TEACHER. I WANT YOU.

LOOK, JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.

FIVE MINUTES OUT OF YOUR DAY.

COME ON.

PLEASE?

I DON'T KNOW,

I MUST HAVE BEEN 6 OR 7.

I WAS 6. I WAS IN FIRST GRADE,

AND I WAS SITTING ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR

WATCHING BATMAN, AND I WAS STARVING.

IT WAS AFTER SCHOOL,

AND I WAS REALLY HUNGRY,

SO, UH...I GOT UP,

AND I--I WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN,

AND, UH...

UH...

THERE SHE WAS.

UH, MY MOTHER WAS...

LAYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

SHE HAD, UH...

SHE--SHE HAD DIED.

SHE WAS-- SHE WAS DEAD.

SHE WAS INTO THIS COMBINATION

OF BOOZE AND SMACK.

REALLY KNOCKED HER FOR A LOOP.

BUT THIS TIME,

YOU KNOW, WAS THE LAST TIME.

I'M SORRY.

ANYWAY, COME ON.

YOU GOT TO PLAY FAIR.

YOU OWE ME A PERSONAL ANSWER.

COME ON.

O.K.

ONE...

AND NOT TOO PERSONAL.

O.K.

UM...

SEEING THAT I'M...AUDITING

AND, UH, YOU KNOW, NOT A REAL STUDENT,

YOU KNOW, IF IT'S NOT ILLEGAL,

I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD, UH,

GET TOGETHER FOR DINNER

OR, UH, A MOVIE,

MAYBE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE SOMETIME.

WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M-- I'M INVOLVED WITH SOMEBODY.

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK IT'S THE RIGHT TIME.

UH...

WHAT'S--WHAT'S, UH, HIS NAME?

CONRAD.

HIS NAME'S CONRAD.

CONRAD!

OH, CONRAD, BABY.

SHE SAID YOUR NAME WAS CONRAD

AND YOU TWO WERE STILL AN ITEM.

THAT LYING BITCH.

I GOT HER AGAINST THE ROPES.

SHE CAN'T KEEP LYING TO ME FOREVER.

DID SHE READ MY LOVE LETTER?

YEAH. SHE BUSTED ME FOR PLAGIARISM. NICE GOING.

FUCK. SHE KNEW THAT ONE.

CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

THEN IT TOOK ME 15 MINUTES

TO CONVINCE HER TO HAVE COFFEE.

THANKS.

AND?

AND...

HOW DOES A GUY LIKE ME

CHARM A GIRL LIKE HER?

HOW?

I MADE UP THIS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS STORY

ABOUT MY FUCKED-UP CHILDHOOD.

SHE ATE IT UP.

THE TWO OF YOU ARE FRIENDS NOW OR SOMETHING?

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER EYES. SHE LOVED IT.

OH, GOD, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY.

WOULD YOU RELAX?

I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, ALL RIGHT?

I GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL, O.K.?

HA. LOOK AT YOUR FACE.

WHY DON'T YOU FINISH WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING?

WE'LL GO DROWN SOME OLIVES.

O.K.

I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.

J. EDGAR HOOVER.

THE FBI GUY?

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME

THE GUY WHO FOUNDED THE FBI IS GAY?

TOTAL SCREAMER.

HE HAD EVEN BUGGED HIS OWN SWING PARTIES.

I HEARD THE TAPES.

MAMIE EISENHOWER.

GET OUT OF HERE!

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO.

NO WAY, ALL RIGHT?

YOU EVER SEEN HOW THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER?

I'M TELLING YOU,

BABY, YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.

IT'S INSTINCT. YOU CAN TELL.

IT'S IN THEIR EYES-- THE LOOK.

REALLY?

HI THERE.

YOU AIN'T THE ONLY KING IN THIS JOINT, SWEETHEART.

WANT TO DANCE?

AH, COME ON.

COME ON, DANCE, CONNIE.

DANCE WITH HIM.

COME ON.

♪ HIGHER ♪

♪ WHEN YOU SHAKE WHAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ AND, GIRL, YOU'VE GOT A LOT ♪

♪ YOU'RE REALLY SOMETHIN', CHILD ♪

♪ YES, YA ARE ♪

AAH!

♪ WHEN YOU'RE HOT, YOU'RE HOT ♪

♪ YOU REALLY SHOOT YOUR SHOT ♪

OH, YEAH!

YEAH!

♪ THE WAY YOU WALK, YOU TALK ♪

♪ REALLY TURNS ME ON ♪

SO YOU HAD A GOOD TIME?

ABSOLUTELY.

YOU'D SAY I'M A PRETTY GOOD DATE?

THE BEST.

ATTRACTIVE TO LOOK AT?

SENSATIONAL.

ALL-AROUND FUN GAL?

A BLAST, WHY?

I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING OUT OF MEDICINE,

GOING INTO THE LESBIAN ESCORT BUSINESS.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN THE TRICKY PART.

THE SEX?

IT'S A TOTALLY SEPARATE NEGOTIATION.

IT'S WHERE THE BIG BUCKS ARE AT.

HOW MUCH CAN YOU MAKE?

I'VE BEEN TIPPED A GRAND.

A THOUSAND DOLLARS? WHOA.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

I HAD TO DRESS UP LIKE A CUB SCOUT.

WHAT DO YOU DO

IF THEY'RE OLD AND WRINKLED AND UGLY?

MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY'RE THE HOTTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

YOU CAN DO THAT?

ANY WOMAN, ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, GUARANTEED.

YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

ANY WOMAN, ANYTIME, ANYPLACE.

I'M GOING TO BE SO HUNG OVER TOMORROW.

I HARDLY HAVE A VOICE.

IT WAS GREAT.

WOW. YOU GOT BEAUTIFUL EYES.

THEY'RE HUGE.

HEY, THEY CHANGE COLOR, DON'T THEY?

LIKE BLUE TO GREEN. WHAT ARE THEY NOW?

THEY'RE KIND OF SILVERY RIGHT NOW.

YEAH. THERE'S LIKE A LITTLE BROWN AROUND THE CENTER.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, CONNIE...

I REALLY DON'T KNOW QUITE HOW TO SAY THIS, BUT...

I DON'T THINK I REALLY MET

A WOMAN QUITE LIKE YOU BEFORE.

NO SHIT.

NO, I MEAN IT. I'M SERIOUS.

I KNOW WE JUST MET--

WE'RE PRACTICALLY STRANGERS, BUT, YOU KNOW,

I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU,

LIKE THERE'S SOME KIND OF CONNECTION.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

IT'S REALLY WEIRD.

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU--

THE WAY YOU TALK, THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE WAY YOU DANCE.

ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU

I THINK YOU GOT A LOT OF STYLE.

JOEY, YOU'RE SO SWEET.

THAT'S HOW I DO IT.

OH, YOU BASTARD.

ANY WOMAN, ANYTIME, ANYPLACE,

GUARANTEED.

STOP.

TOLD YOU.

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SUCH A SEX MACHINE.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

BECAUSE YOU'RE A NICE GUY, JOE.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU FOR MORE REASONS THAN YOU THINK.

THANKS.

SLEEP TIGHT.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS, JACK LALANNE?

THIS IS NOT AN AEROBICS CLASS.

OH, I'M SORRY. I--I'M SORRY.

I JUST WASN'T SURE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED.

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, JACKIE.

THE CUSTOMERS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE DEALING WITH,

THEY'RE LIKE, THEY'RE-- THEY'RE--THEY'RE LONELY,

THEY'RE DESPERATE PEOPLE.

THEY'RE PAYING A BUCK A MINUTE

FOR SOME EMOTION.

YOU WANT THIS JOB?

OH, YES.

YOU GOT TO MAKE ME COME.

I'VE GOT TO--I'VE GOT--

NOT--NOT LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, YOU KNOW, FIGURATIVELY

ON THE COUNT. ONE FRY.

HE WANTS YOU TO TURN HIM ON

BY COUNTING TO 10.

YOU GOT TO DO IT SEXY--1, 2--

HOT, HOT, HOT. LIKE THIS. LOOK AT ME.

OH...

2, 3. GO AHEAD.

1...

2...

[GASP]

3...

YEAH.

4...

FASTER.

5...

FASTER.

MICKEY, IT'S HARVEY ON LINE 2.

7!

YOU GOT THE JOB.

THANK YOU!

TALK TO DORIS OVER THERE.

SHE'LL HANDLE THE FORMALITIES.

I WANT TO TALK TO HIM.

LET ME HANDLE THIS.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

LET ME HANDLE IT.

SHUT UP.

HARVEY, WHAT IS IT?

I WAS ON MY WAY OUT.

I'M LOOKING FOR CASELLA.

YEAH, RIGHT, JOE'S STILL WITH ME.

HE'S BEEN HAVING SOME PROBLEMS LATELY.

MICKEY, I'M ASKING YOU AS A PERSONAL FAVOR--

DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH THIS.

HEY, HARVEY, GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I KNOW YOU TRASHED THE KID'S APARTMENT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

THAT--THAT'S YOUR WEAKNESS, HARVEY.

YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE.

YOU'RE BLAMING THIS KID

FOR SOMETHING HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH.

THE PRICK SET ME UP.

I'LL USE HIS BALLS AS A FUCKIN' NECKLACE.

JESUS.

LISTEN TO ME, YOU COCKSUCKER.

YOU TOUCH THIS KID, YOU TOUCH ME.

YOU GOT IT? IF HE COMES IN HERE

WITH EVEN A FUCKING BRUISE,

YOU DEAL WITH ME.

LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE!

WHY WON'T YOU LET ME TALK TO HIM?

YOU WANT TO REASON WITH HIM?

SHUT THE FUCK UP. LET ME HANDLE IT!

GODDAMN KID WANTS TO BE A FUCKIN' HERO!

O.K. ALSO--ALSO, THE MAN NEVER READ A BOOK.

EVER.

AND BECAUSE...

BECAUSE HE HAD WET HANDS.

YOU MADE HIM NERVOUS.

ALL I'M SAYING IS YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT HE LIVES IN THE CITY,

AND HE'S GOT THE BEST JOB ON WALL STREET,

AND BRIAN WEARS THE CUTEST LITTLE HORN-RIMMED GLASSES.

MMM. GREAT. YOU DATE HIM, ALLY, O.K.?

WHAT, DID MOM WRITE THIS UNDERWATER?

SHE PROBABLY JUST WEPT ALL OVER IT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, THAT'S THE GUY FROM THE WINE STORE.

GOOD.

LOOK. LOOK AT ME.

YOU'RE TURNING ME INTO PAT NIXON.

ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO MEET A NICE, CHARMING, INTELLIGENT, SEXY--

DO I HAVE THE RIGHT APARTMENT?

MAN.

I'M LOOKING FOR ELLEN ARMSTRONG.

AND WHOM SHALL I SAY IS CALLING?

JOE. CASELLA. I'M A STUDENT IN HER CLASS.

ELLEN. ELLEN. ELLEN.

ELLEN, DARLIN', JOE'S HERE.

I HEARD.

Get a grip.

HI, JOE.

HI.

SO, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, THAT WAS POLITE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO CATCH YOU AT A BAD TIME.

NO, NO, NO. JUST TWO SISTERS TORTURING EACH OTHER.

IS EVERYTHING O.K.?

WELL, YEAH, SURE.

I, UH, I--I FINISHED THAT PAPER

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT IN THE COFFEE SHOP--

THE ONE ABOUT WHEN I WAS A KID.

OH, GREAT.

I THINK IT TURNED OUT GOOD.

I JUST HAPPENED TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I FIGURED I'D JUST DROP IT OFF.

I THINK YOUR...

I THINK YOUR GARLIC'S BURNING.

YEAH. EXCUSE ME.

ELLEN'S WORKING ON A NEW RECIPE.

WE'RE ALL VERY CONCERNED.

HERE IT IS.

READ IT AND WEEP.

GREAT. THANKS.

I, UH, BETTER RUN. YOU TWO ENJOY DINNER.

DID YOU SCRUB THOSE?

SHOULD YOU?

OH, YEAH. IT'S SHELLFISH. SURE.

UM...

SCRUB.

SCRUB AND THEN EAT.

LET ME DO THAT FOR YOU.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND,

I'VE GOT TO PICK UP KEVIN FROM NINJA CLASS.

IF I'M NOT THERE, HE'LL HURT THE OTHER CHILDREN.

NO--

JOE, NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU'RE SURE THIS IS, UH, ALL RIGHT

WITH, UH, CONRAD?

WHO?

CONRAD'S ON DUTY AT THE HOSPITAL.

BESIDES, I HAVE MY OWN LIFE.

UH, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW, LITTLE SISTER.

ENJOY YOUR DINNER.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?

OREGANO.

I HAD A FRIEND WHO TOLD ME ONCE--

SHE SAID THAT IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEBODY--

I MEAN, REALLY, LIKE, WHERE YOU CAN'T BREATHE--

IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEBODY LIKE THAT,

THEN THEY'RE PROBABLY LOVING YOU BACK.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

EXCUSE ME?

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY CLASS?

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU.

YOU COOK LIKE A CHEF,

YOU LOOK LIKE A MOVIE STAR OR SOMETHING.

MOVIE STAR.

YOU DO.

WELL, ACTUALLY...

I'M A MALE ESCORT.

SOMEBODY HIRED ME TO SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME.

MY SISTER'S TOO CHEAP.

WELL...

I'VE GOT A HELL OF A DAY TOMORROW.

THANK YOU FOR DINNER.

I HAD A... VERY NICE TIME.

HEY, YOU SCRUBBED MY CLAMS, YOU KNOW.

I WHAT?

MY GOD!

GET OUT. YOU BETTER GO.

YEAH.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

DO YOU LIKE THEATER?

SURE.

WELL, 'CAUSE THERE IS--

THERE'S THIS PLAY ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT...

YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.

IT'S A DATE.

GREAT.

SO RALPH RUNS OFF SCREAMING LIKE A WOMAN,

LOOKING FOR A DOCTOR,

AND THIS STUPID IDIOT FROM ADMITTING IS THERE.

SHE'S FREAKING OUT.

THE WHOLE ROOM IS STARING AT ME.

I GRABBED THIS GUY'S COAT,

LAID THE WOMAN ON THE FLOOR.

SHE'S SCREAMING, "MY, GOD, IT'S COMING."

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE BABY'S HEAD--

IT WAS LIKE A FOOTBALL.

IT JUST CAME RIGHT OUT, AND I CAUGHT IT.

YOU DID THIS ALL BY YOURSELF?

WHERE THE HELL WAS RALPH?

I SAID HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE DOCTOR.

ALL BY YOURSELF, HUH?

PRETTY GOOD.

HEY, CON, DID YOU SEE MY MONEY CLIP?

OH, NEVER MIND. I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

7, ALL RIGHT.

I'M CALLING IT OFF.

CALLING OFF WHAT?

OUR DEAL OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. IT'S WRONG.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU CAN'T BAIL OUT ON ME. WE'RE WINNING.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M WINNING.

ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE MORE TIME.

COME ON, NOT LONG. JUST A FEW MORE DAYS.

YOU KNOW SHE'S WORTH IT.

YEAH, SHE IS.

SO WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO WORK. I'LL BE HOME LATE.

THANKS.

BYE.

HELLO, THIS IS YVONNE.

I'M NOT AT HOME.

LEAVE A MESSAGE.

[BEEP]

HI, YVONNE. IT'S JOE CALLING.

LISTEN, I'M NOT FEELING TOO GOOD TONIGHT,

SO I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CANCEL FOR LATER ON,

AND I'LL GIVE YOU A RAIN CHECK.

O.K.

IS EVERYTHING O.K.?

GREAT.

AFTER YOU.

[MODERN MUSIC PLAYING]

[THUNDER]

IT WAS SIMPLE, BUT IT WAS LOVED.

AND NOW IT STANDS COLD AND SHRIVELED WITH LONELINESS

AT THE EDGE OF TIME.

I DON'T THINK THESE PEOPLE EVEN LIKED IT.

LET'S GO.

ELLEN!

ELLEN.

HI.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

OH, YOU LOOK AMAZING.

JOE, THIS IS MY FRIEND CONNIE.

HEY, CONNIE, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

FINE.

PLEASURE.

AHEM.

SO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT?

IT WAS LIKE...

REALLY SILLY.

WELL...WE SHOULD GET GOING.

GUESS YOU GOT, WHAT, DINNER PLANS OR SOMETHING?

YEAH. IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

YEAH.

WAIT. THERE'S THIS GREAT NEW CUBAN RESTAURANT

DOWN ON CORNELIA.

OH, GREAT.

DO YOU STILL LOVE PLANTAINS?

YEAH, I DO.

THAT SOUNDS GREAT. THANKS.

YOU READY?

YEAH. TAKE CARE.

EXCUSE ME.

I NEED A STORY, YOU KNOW.

THERE WAS NO STORY.

COULD YOU TELL ME WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT?

THAT'S WHY I'M TAKING YOUR CLASS,

BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS READ A LOT,

BUT I REALLY WANT TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE.

JOE, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

THAT WOMAN BACK THERE,

THAT WOMAN WE JUST MET...

YEAH, SURE.

SHE--SHE AND I WERE A COUPLE.

WE WERE A COUPLE.

WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER.

UH, CONNIE.

YEAH. CONRAD.

STUPID.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I LIED ABOUT THAT, YOU KNOW.

I GUESS... I DON'T KNOW.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT.

BUT, UM...

YOU KNOW, I'M--I'M SORRY.

SO WHAT ARE YOU, UH...

WHAT ARE YOU, ARE YOU STILL TOGETHER?

NO.

DO YOU, UH...

WHAT, DO YOU STILL LOVE HER?

YEAH, I DO.

I LOVE HER.

CONNIE'S IN MY HEART.

UH, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN

MAKE YOURSELF STAY IN LOVE.

YOU CAN'T.

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN--

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN TAKE SOME PILL

THAT KEEPS YOU IN LOVE FOREVER.

HEY, HEY, HEY. COME HERE.

IT'S O.K.

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

SURE.

WHAT IS THIS THING ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD?

I'M SERIOUS. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE?

ARE YOU STORING CHANGE IN THERE?

YOUR LIPSTICK UP THERE?

THIS IS A VERY SOPHISTICATED HAIR STYLE.

HELLO.

IT ONLY TOOK ME HALF THE DAY, CREEP.

[MUMBLING]

YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT DOWN?

I CAN TAKE IT DOWN.

NO, I'M ONLY KIDDING.

YOU HATE IT.

I LOVE IT.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL YOU MAKE MY HEART STOP.

♪ SUMMER GREEN TURNS GRAY COLD ♪

♪ THE BOYS WERE LEAVIN' WE WERE TOLD ♪

♪ AND SO WE SAID GOODBYE ♪

JOE...

JOE, I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE TONIGHT.

♪ PLAYIN' WITH US IN THE STREAM ♪

O.K., STAY WITH ME.

♪ TO ALL OUR HEROES... ♪

I CAN'T, UM...

I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST...

I CAN'T STAY TONIGHT.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. IT'S, UM...

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME.

I JUST CAN'T... STAY HERE...

UH, NOW, TONIGHT.

THIS IS CRAZY.

I'M SORRY.

I BETTER-- I BETTER GO.

SORRY.

GOOD NIGHT.

COME ON. OOH.

I'LL SEDUCE YOUR FOOT.

COME TO BED.

I'LL KISS YOUR TOES.

I'LL KISS YOUR LITTLE TOES.

ALL RIGHT, NOW GO BACK TO THE CAMERA

LIKE YOU WERE.

GO LIKE THIS.

THAT CLOSE, O.K.

NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT ME.

COME ON, DO IT. DO IT.

COME ON, O.K. TELL ME.

THINK OF SOMETHING.

I'M THINKING.

NO, NO, NO. COME ON.

OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD.

YOU'RE SWEET, AND YOU'RE FUNNY, AND YOU'RE LOVING,

AND YOU'RE WARM...

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

AND YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND,

AND YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL,

AND YOU HAVE LEGS FOR DAYS,

AND YOU'RE A GREAT KISSER.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET OVER THIS--

THIS OBSESSION,

THESE STUPID, FUCKING VIDEOS?

IT'S PATHETIC.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE WHAT VIDEOS I WATCH?

I CAN WATCH WHATEVER VIDEOS I WANT TO.

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING THERE?

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

I WANTED TO SEE HER.

WELL, YOU SAW HER, ALL RIGHT?

YOU FEEL BETTER?

WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT?

WHAT HAPPENED? YOU ALMOST FUCKED EVERYTHING UP.

THAT'S ALMOST WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO WORK.

I WAS WORKING, REMEMBER?

HOW COULD THEY NOT LOVE YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M EXHAUSTED.

MAYBE ONCE THEY GET OVER THEIR SHOCK.

I'M GOING TO BED.

IT'LL BE O.K.

I KNOW, IT'S LIKE THE UNSPOKEN THING.

WE'RE ALL PASSIVE, AGGRESSIVE,

AND CRAZY AND POLISH AND CATHOLIC,

AND WE'RE PRETTY FUNNY.

THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE YOU.

I KNOW IT.

MY MOM WILL LOVE YOU.

WHERE?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK. WAIT HERE,

AND DON'T COME OVER TILL I CALL YOU.

HARVEY.

HEY, STILL MAD AT ME?

HEY, WHAT IS THIS THING?

IS IT FOR THE ARMS?

GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT OUT OF MY SIGHT.

HEY, HARVEY, COME ON. THIS IS JOEY.

JOEY'S COOL, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

IF HE SAYS HE DIDN'T TURN YOU IN,

HE DIDN'T TURN YOU IN.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

THIS IS A COMMUNICATION SITUATION HERE.

COME ON, DO IT FOR ME.

WOULD YOU GUYS KISS AND MAKE UP?

I MEAN, TALK TO HIM. HE FEELS LIKE SHIT.

DON'T FUCK WITH MY MIND, MAN.

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

I KNOW WHAT HE DID.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION,

BUT IT'S WRONG, PAL.

TAKE IT EASY.

YOU THINK I'D WASTE MY TIME

TALKING TO THE COPS OR ANYBODY ABOUT YOU?

YOU'D SELL YOUR MOTHER FOR MONEY. YOU'RE A WHORE.

EXACTLY. EXACTLY, HARVEY.

HE IS. HE'S A WHORE.

YOU'RE A WHORE...

BUT HE'S MY FUCKING WHORE.

LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE.

YOU FUCK WITH THAT FACE, YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME.

SO LET'S JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

HOW DO I MAKE THIS RIGHT WITH YOU?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I WANT TO SEE THIS ASSHOLE

ON A STRETCHER.

I WANT TO SEE HIS FUCKING BONES BROKEN.

YOU WANT TO THROW DOWN? FUCK YOU.

COME ON.

WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME?

GET THE FUCK--

HEY, FUCK YOU.

STAY HERE. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

GET OVER HERE. COME HERE, COME HERE.

MOTHERFUCKERS.

GET OUT OF HERE. LET ME TALK TO HIM.

GET OUT OF HERE. YOU GOT A DATE. GO.

I'M NOT WORKING. I GOT PLANS.

I CALLED YOUR MACHINE LAST NIGHT.

I TOLD YOU YOU HAVE A DATE.

HERE.

YEAH, HERE. DONNA.

GO. JUST GO.

WAIT A MINUTE.

GO AHEAD.

WHAT, AM I SUPPOSED TO GO LIKE THIS?

THEY DON'T CARE. THEY CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T WEAR.

HEY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

HE FUCKED ME, MICKEY,

AND HE'S GOING TO FUCK YOU.

I'M SORRY.

JOE, CUT IT OUT. THIS IS STUPID, O.K.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, FINE,

JUST DON'T WASTE MY TIME.

I DO WANT TO BE HERE. WHAT?

I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

FORGET IT.

ELLEN.

WHAT--WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO AM I?

LOOK, YOU'RE NOT A WRITING STUDENT.

YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT WITH ME.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M JUST JOE.

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, JOE.

DID YOU BRING YOUR ASSIGNMENT?

IT WAS TO DESCRIBE YOUR FEAR.

I DIDN'T DO IT.

DO IT NOW.

DO WHAT? THIS IS...IT'S BLANK.

DESCRIBE YOUR FEARS.

LOOK, I CAN'T DO THIS, O.K.

I JUST...THIS IS STUPID.

I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.

NO.

I'M THE IDIOT.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

HEY, NO, NO. WAIT.

HEY, COME HERE.

I'M...JUST, YOU KNOW...

I'M AFRAID OF...NOTHING.

NOT REAL.

I'M AFRAID OF MYSELF, YOU KNOW,

WHAT I AM.

WHAT AM I TO DO?

I'M AFRAID OF YOUR HONESTY

AND THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL...

AND THE THINGS YOU MAKE ME SEE.

I FEEL SO WEAK SOMETIMES.

YOU'RE NOT WEAK.

I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS.

IT'S HARD TO SAY. THAT'S TOUGH.

SORRY.

THANK YOU.

[WOMAN TALKING]

OH, DARLING, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.

LAST TIME I USED THESE PEOPLE

THEY PUT WAY TOO MUCH SALT ON EVERYTHING.

I SPENT MORE ON WATER THAN I DID ON THE FOOD.

DON'T LET THEM SELL YOU ON THE DIM SUM OR THE CANAPES.

THEY'LL CHARGE YOU A FORTUNE,

AND EVERYONE'S STILL HUNGRY.

YEAH.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

YEAH. AH. YEAH.

THEY HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY SNIPPY BARTENDER--JUAN.

DON'T IF THEY GIVE YOU JUAN.

ASK FOR, UH...

ASK FOR NEIL.

HE'S TALL, AND HE MAKES A PERFECT MANHATTAN.

YEAH, I KNOW,

AND THEY'RE GOING TO TRY AND SOAK YOU ON THE WINE,

BUT THEY HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD CHARDONNAY--

'83. YEAH.

IT'S CHEAPER, AND NOBODY WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I GOT TO GET OFF.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I'M SORRY. I'M JUST...

I'M JUST TIRED.

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT.

STOP IT. DON'T TOUCH ME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

DON'T...

DON'T TOUCH ME.

LAST TIME YOU CANCELED ON ME,

AND NOW YOU'RE PLAYING GAMES WITH ME.

GET OUT OF THOSE CLOTHES AND INTO BED.

I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH YOU.

YOU MAKE ME SICK.

I MAKE YOU SICK?

OH, JOE. I'VE SPOILED YOU.

YOU THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL. YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL,

BUT I DO OWN YOU TILL TOMORROW MORNING.

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

JOE, GET BACK HERE.

YOU CAN'T WALK OUT ON ME, JOE.

I'LL CALL MICKEY.

YOUR TROUBLE'S JUST BEGINNING, JOE.

THIS ISN'T THE END OF THIS.

ELLEN.

HEY.

HI.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT?

MY LIFE IS SUCH A MESS.

IT'S O.K.

COME HERE. IT'S O.K.

♪ HE DEALS THE CARDS ♪

♪ AS A MEDITATION ♪

♪ AND THOSE HE PLAYS NEVER SUSPECT ♪

♪ HE DOESN'T PLAY FOR THE MONEY HE WINS ♪

♪ HE DOESN'T PLAY FOR RESPECT ♪

♪ HE DEALS THE CARDS TO FIND THE ANSWER ♪

♪ THE SACRED GEOMETRY OF CHANCE ♪

♪ THE HIDDEN LAW OF A PROBABLE OUTCOME ♪

♪ THE NUMBERS LEAD A DANCE ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE SPADES ♪

♪ ARE THE SWORDS OF A SOLDIER ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS ARE WEAPONS OF WAR ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS ♪

♪ MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ HE MAY PLAY THE JACK OF DIAMONDS ♪

♪ HE MAY LAY THE QUEEN OF SPADES ♪

♪ HE MAY CONCEAL ♪

♪ THE KING IN HIS HAND ♪

♪ WHILE THE MEMORY OF IT FADES ♪

I LOVE YOU.

♪ I KNOW THAT THE SPADES ♪

♪ ARE THE SWORDS OF A SOLDIER ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS ARE WEAPONS OF WAR ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS ♪

♪ MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE ♪

♪ THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME.

YVONNE'S FURIOUS.

SHE'S MY BEST CLIENT.

DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT RETIRING, MICK?

PLEASE, PLEASE. JOEY, JOEY.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SO SHE'S A LITTLE CRAZY. SO WHAT?

NO, IT'S NOT JUST HER. IT'S EVERYTHING.

I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

WHAT IS THIS, SOME BULLSHIT FANTASY?

YOU WANT TO PRETEND YOU'RE SOMEBODY ELSE?

IS THAT IT?

ALL RIGHT, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR MONEY?

ARE YOU GOING TO DIG DITCHES?

ARE YOU GOING TO SELL NEWSPAPERS ON THE CORNER?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET BY,

WITH YOUR BRAINS?

WITH YOUR WONDERFUL PERSONALITY?

IT'S YOUR DICK, JOE.

YOUR DICK,

AND I'M THE GUY THAT KNOWS WHERE TO SEND IT,

TO MAKE YOU MORE MONEY THAN YOU EVER DREAMT OF.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO,

BUT I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE.

I'LL BARTEND, WAIT TABLES, GO TO SCHOOL. WHO KNOWS?

GO TO SCHOOL?

I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT.

HERE YOU GO, TEACHER.

HERE'S A NICE SHINY APPLE,

OR BETTER YET, I'M KIND OF DUMB.

MAYBE I CAN FUCK YOU AFTER CLASS FOR AN "A."

YOU WANT ME TO SAY O.K.?

YOU'RE RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

GO TO SCHOOL. I'LL SEE YOU AT GRADUATION.

YOU WERE NOTHING WHEN I MET YOU.

I TURNED YOU INTO SOMETHING,

AND IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO LET YOU WALK AWAY

AFTER ALL THAT,

THEN YOU'RE WRONG,

DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?

I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO NOBODY,

AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE ANYWHERE AT 8:00 OR 9:00 OR 10:00

TO FUCK ANYBODY.

GOT IT?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

JOEY.

LOOK, WHAT THE HELL ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?

COME ON BACK IN THE OFFICE.

WE CAN WORK THIS OUT.

JOEY.

[DOOR CLOSES]

HARVEY.

WE GOT TO TALK, CONNIE.

WOULD YOU STOP CLEANING?

I SPENT THE NIGHT WITH HER, CONNIE.

OH, REALLY?

LOOK, DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

CONNIE, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

HOW DARE YOU LIVE WITH ME

IN MY HOME

AND FUCK MY GIRLFRIEND.

I TRUSTED YOU.

YOU ANIMAL.

CONNIE, LOOK, I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT--

GET OUT!

I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU.

WOULD YOU STOP? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

STOP IT, WILL YOU?

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

GET OUT!

CONNIE, OPEN THE DOOR, WOULD YOU, PLEASE?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

PLEASE, JUST OPEN UP.

CONNIE, OPEN THE DOOR.

[BANGING]

OPEN UP THE GOD DAMN DOOR!

OPEN UP! LET ME IN!

AAH!

OH, MY GOD! STOP!

HI. MY NAME IS HARVEY.

MISS ME, FUCK HEAD?

[CONNIE] OH, GOD.

GET HER OUT OF HERE.

JOE! JOE!

JOE!

NOW WE'RE GOING TO TEACH YOU SOME RESPECT, JOE.

DO HIM GOOD.

[CONNIE] NO!

NO!

AAH!

OH, GOD!

WHAT'S GOING ON? WHERE IS HE?

ELLEN, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

JOE'S BEEN BEAT UP. HE'S BEEN BEAT UP PRETTY BAD.

HE'S OVER THERE. HE'S GOING TO BE O.K.

ELLEN, NO MATTER WHAT, I DID IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I WANTED YOU TO KNOW--

HOW DO YOU KNOW JOE?

JOE'S A MALE ESCORT, O.K.?

I HIRED HIM TO GET YOU BACK.

OH, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS, CONNIE.

COME ON.

CONNIE, STOP.

HI.

TELL HER, JOE.

COME ON, TELL HER THE TRUTH.

SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME. COME ON.

GOD DAMN IT, JOE.

TELL HER ABOUT US.

IT'S NOT TRUE.

I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE, RIGHT?

COME ON, TELL ME.

I'M SORRY.

IS IT? IS IT TRUE?

I TRIED TO TELL YOU.

OH, GOD.

YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER.

ELLEN, WAIT, WAIT. I CAN--

WE BLEW IT.

HEY, KID.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

THE DOC SAYS YOU'LL BE OUT SOON.

FUCKING HARVEY,

HE CAN'T DO NOTHING WITHOUT RESORTING TO VIOLENCE.

OH, I, UH...

I ALSO, UH...

I GOT YOU...

A GET-WELL PRESENT,

BUT, UH... WHAT DID I DO WITH IT?

UH... HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

UH...YOU KNOW, I FIGURED WHILE YOU'RE RECUPERATING,

MAYBE, YOU KNOW, WE'LL MAKE A FEW BUCKS.

YVONNE CALLED.

SHE, UH... SHE LIKES TO TALK ON THE PHONE.

MAYBE YOU CAN GIVE HER A CALL,

YOU KNOW, MAKE UP.

YOU DID THIS TO ME, MICKEY.

YOU DID IT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW THE ADDRESS,

THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD HAVE TOLD HARVEY.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU. NEVER.

I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER

I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

I MEAN, I PAID YOUR HOSPITAL BILL, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.

ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT

IS THE THINGS YOU DONE FOR ME,

HOW I NEED YOU...

WHEN THE TRUTH IS YOU USED ME

SINCE THE FUCKING START...

AND I'M THROUGH WITH THAT, YOU HEAR ME?

I'M THROUGH WITH THAT.

SO WHY DON'T YOU DO ME A FAVOR

AND JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, HUH?

IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE, MICKEY,

I'M AFRAID OF WHAT I MIGHT FUCKING DO TO YOU!

GET OUT OF HERE!

WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SO LONG HERE?

A LOT OF PAPERWORK.

I'LL SAY.

RELAX.

THANKS FOR COMING AND GETTING ME OUT OF THIS PLACE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHAT'S THIS FOR?

HOSPITAL PROCEDURE.

WHAT, DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN'T WALK?

IF YOU'RE CARRIED IN, YOU WHEEL OUT.

THIS IS INSANE.

I'M AN RN. I'LL WHEEL HIM OUT.

I DON'T CARE WHO PUSHES,

AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN IT.

I'LL BE BACK WITH YOUR PAPERS.

WHILE WE'RE STILL YOUNG.

SO DID YOU TALK TO ELLEN?

I TRIED.

I MUST HAVE CALLED HER A MILLION TIMES,

BUT SHE WON'T PICK UP.

SO?

SO THAT...THAT'S IT.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

GO SEE HER.

CONNIE, SHE DON'T WANT TO SEE ME.

SHE... SHE DON'T LOVE ME.

BULLSHIT.

SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.

JESUS, IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

I WAS TURNING INTO THE MAD STALKER.

PRETTY GLAD I DIDN'T SEND HER MY NUDE PHOTOS.

OW! OW!

I JUST COULDN'T LET HER GO.

LOVE IS LIKE SOME FUCKING FORCE OF NATURE.

YOU CAN'T TRICK IT.

YOU SURE CAN'T CONTROL IT.

BUT THAT'S THE GREAT PART. THAT'S THE RIDE.

ENJOY IT, JOE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

IT'LL NEVER WORK AFTER WHAT WE DID TO HER.

IT'LL WORK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE I KNOW WOMEN.

I CAN GET ANY WOMAN, ANYPLACE, ANYTIME.

GUARANTEED.

OW! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

IT HURTS MY RIBS.

O.K., HERE YOU GO.

COME ON. HOP IN, CASELLA.

I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE.

UH, TOUCH .

COME ON, I'M A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL.

THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME.

SEE YOU LATER.

WE CAN STILL MAKE THAT SHOW.

GOING UPTOWN.

JULIE, WAIT FOR ME.

I'M OUT OF HERE, GUYS.

YOU WANT TO GET A CAB?

TAXI!

HEY.

I'M SORRY.

NO.

ELLEN, WHAT COULD I DO? I...

DO?

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

NOTHING.

"FORGIVE ME THE WRONG I'VE DONE YOU...

"AND FOR NEVER HAVING THROWN MYSELF AT YOUR FEET

"AND BEGGED YOUR FORGIVENESS.

I DO SO NOW WITH ALL MY HEART."

YOU SEE, I...

I LISTENED, ELLEN.

I HEARD YOU.

ELLEN, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND

THAT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT NOW?

I MEAN, BECAUSE OF YOU.

I WAS A HUSTLER. I HUSTLED YOU.

YOU WERE BRILLIANT.

NO.

I SCREWED UP...

BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE,

AND I NEVER EXPECTED THAT.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU THINK

EVERY WORD OUT OF MY MOUTH IS A LIE.

WOULDN'T YOU?

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

I LOVE YOU.

I--I REALLY SHOULD GET GOING.

O.K.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GOING TO CHASE YOU

OR, YOU KNOW, PRESSURE YOU OR ANYTHING...

IF YOU NEED TIME.

YEAH, O.K.

FUCK THIS.

[HONKING]

ELLEN!

ELLEN!

WELL, THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE.

I COULD HAVE CAUGHT THAT CAB IN HEELS.

YOU SEE?

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS I TAKE YOUR ADVICE?

WHO KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE SO SLOW?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANYWAY?

I THOUGHT YOU GAVE UP STALKING.

I'M NOT STALKING.

I'M LURKING.

BESIDES, ELLEN AND I HAD A DATE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

CALM DOWN, HANDSOME.

I'M JUST RETURNING SOME OF HER STUFF.

SWITCHING TO LASER DISC.

IT'S THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE.

SO...

WHAT NOW, DR. LOVE?

I ALREADY TRIED APOLOGIZING.

EVER HEAR OF EXPENSIVE JEWELRY?

I'M OUT OF WORK, REMEMBER?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S A DRAG.

YEAH, YOU AIN'T KIDDING.

SO, CON, I WAS THINKING.

SINCE I GOT TO GET OUT OF MY PLACE, MAYBE--

OUT OF THE QUESTION.

COUPLE DAYS!

CONNIE...

YOU COULD GET ELLEN BACK FOR ME.

YOU'RE GOOD WITH WOMEN...

GET AWAY FROM ME!

HA HA HA HA!

COME HERE.

O.K., I'LL-- I'LL GET HER BACK...

UNDER ONE CONDITION.

WHAT'S THAT?

JUST DON'T INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING.

I HATE WEDDINGS.

OH, YEAH?

ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU--

YOU'RE GOING TO GET DRUNK,

YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO KISS ME.

ELLEN WILL GO MOCUS.

HA HA HA HA!

IT'LL BE A NIGHTMARE.

IT'LL BE ROMANTIC.

♪ HE DEALS THE CARDS ♪

♪ AS A MEDITATION ♪

♪ AND THOSE HE PLAYS NEVER SUSPECT ♪

♪ HE DOESN'T PLAY ♪

♪ FOR THE MONEY HE WINS ♪

♪ HE DOESN'T PLAY FOR RESPECT ♪

♪ HE DEALS THE CARDS TO FIND THE ANSWER ♪

♪ THE SACRED GEOMETRY OF CHANCE ♪

♪ THE HIDDEN LAW ♪

♪ OF A PROBABLE OUTCOME ♪

♪ THE NUMBERS LEAD A DANCE ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE SPADES ♪

♪ ARE THE SWORDS OF A SOLDIER ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS ARE WEAPONS OF WAR ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS ♪

♪ MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ HE MAY PLAY THE JACK OF DIAMONDS ♪

♪ HE MAY LAY THE QUEEN OF SPADES ♪

♪ AND HE MAY CONCEAL ♪

♪ THE KING IN HIS HAND ♪

♪ WHILE THE MEMORY OF IT FADES ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE SPADES ♪

♪ ARE THE SWORDS OF A SOLDIER ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS ARE WEAPONS OF WAR ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS ♪

♪ MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE ♪

♪ THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ AND IF I TOLD HER THAT I LOVED YOU ♪

♪ YOU MAYBE THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG ♪

♪ I MET A MAN ♪

♪ WITH TOO MANY FACES ♪

♪ THE MASK I WEAR IS ONE ♪

♪ ALTHOUGH THEY SPEAK, KNOW NOTHIN' ♪

♪ OR FIND OUT TO THEIR CROSS ♪

♪ LIKE THOSE WHO CURSE THEIR LUCK ♪

♪ IN TOO MANY PLACES ♪

♪ FOR THOSE WHO FEAR ARE LOST ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE SPADES ♪

♪ ARE THE SWORDS OF A SOLDIER ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS ARE WEAPONS OF WAR ♪

♪ I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS ♪

♪ MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪

♪ THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE ♪

♪ THE SHAPE OF MY HEART ♪