Original subtitles

Hello.

I'm Alan Strauss.

Dr. Strauss.

- Y-You're...? - Candace.

Sorry.

I'm Sam's mother.

Oh.

Is this... your house?

Sam moved back in with me when he split up with Mary.

- Ah, I see. - Did he...

You know about Mary, don't you?

I'm sorry, I can't really discuss that.

Of course. Yes.

So, you know who I am?

Of course I do.

I loved your book.

When his father left,

I started reading all these books.

You know, self-help.

The Cactus and the Mirage was one of my favorites.

I had Sam read it, too, but it didn't really help him,

so I...

told him he should try real therapy.

This isn't trying real therapy.

Of course.

I know how terrible this is.

Believe me, I know.

Unlock me.

I don't have a key.

Well...

call the police. Then we can help Sam.

Please understand.

I don't support him in this at all.

I'm not... like him.

But I can't turn in my own son.

You're his mother. Can't you tell him to stop this?

He's trying to stop. I know it's-it's...

Candace, please.

I have kids. A son and a daughter.

They need me, just like he needs you.

I know this isn't right.

But you have to help him.

He's my baby.

You ever had pho?

- Yes. - Not like this, you haven't.

I'm gonna get bowls.

Sam, hold on a second.

When you were gone,

I heard someone moving around upstairs,

and I called up to them

and asked them to come down.

Did they come down?

- So you met my mother. - Yes.

I was a little surprised. Y-You said she was dead.

Yeah, my parents aren't dead.

I-I lied about that, too.

Sorry.

One of the reasons that I didn't want

to go into therapy

was because I know it's all

"mothers, mothers, mothers." My mother is not my problem.

Let me get the bowls.

I'm going to

need you to take off this chain.

There's no way to do this work effectively

with the therapist tied up.

The chain's on your leg, not on your mouth.

Sam, I present no physical threat to you.

You're young and strong,

and I-I... I sit in a chair all day.

What do you imagine would happen if I attacked you?

I... I pictured this with you chained to the floor.

I understand, and I am asking you

to adjust that

so I can help you more effectively.

Sam, there is no way that this is going to work

unless you take off this chain.

She usually doesn't come down here.

Before, when we were in my office...

you told me that your mother took care of you

when your father was being violent.

"Mothers, mothers, mothers."

It's just one part of things, Sam, but we can't ignore it.

Your mother told me that he left.

Can you tell me about that?

He left us.

How old were you?

Fourteen.

And what do you remember about that?

He left us.

So, he didn't hit me anymore.

Did you see him after that?

This is the house you grew up in?

Yup.

Do you have memories, um, like...

Did he hurt you in this room?

If I was in this room...

it was in this room.

And you'd be here and...

And he'd say something

that I was supposed to do, and if I didn't do it

within one second...

I didn't know what he meant sometimes. I... He was...

I needed time to think,

but...

Like, one time,

he got a whole load of grout

for the kitchen and the bathroom, and...

he got a deal, right,

so he ordered a ton of it, and it came in these boxes.

And he was yelling at me, "Break 'em down."

Screaming. "Break 'em down."

I didn't know what he meant

because I'd never heard that before

'cause he... he wasn't pointing at the boxes.

Then he just, he just went at me,

like he did.

You said your mom got it, too.

She's a good mother.

She made me sandwiches every day.

She did the laundry.

It's a terrible situation for a mother and a son.

- Everyone, please. - Everyone, please.

People!

People. People!

I have something to say.

People, people. I have something to say.

I understand that

the mother of the chat an has some

words she'd like to share

with the new couple.

We don't have women sing.

Rabbi, it's my son's wedding.

Hi. I'm Ezra's mom.

Where are you going?

I'm also the cantor at Temple Sinai.

Talk to me, Sam.

I know you're struggling with your feelings

about the manager at the restaurant.

Is there anything else you can tell me about it?

Uh...

You should help me.

Hmm...

I have a thought for us.

- Mm-hmm. - You know,

your mother is an impressive woman,

and she would clearly do anything

to help you feel better,

help you live the life that you want to live,

and I think that she can help us now.

We are all part of family systems.

You, me, everyone.

Changes to those systems

can have a profound effect on us,

even at your age.

And I was thinking

that it might be beneficial

if we were to do some family therapy work

with you and your mother.

Mm.

She's been through enough.

She doesn't need to be dragged into what we're doing here.

I think that's kind of you,

and I can see why you'd want to protect her.

But I don't think you need

to worry about her feeling dragged into this.

I think she might find it helpful, too.

Sam.

You don't have to take this next step alone.

There is someone who wants to be there with you.

She doesn't want you struggling with this by yourself.

He was always a very physical man,

and it was always a very intense relationship.

- I think Sam and I... - He was an asshole.

It's pretty simple.

He was a terrible father, and Sam and I...

Worse than terrible.

Let's try to slow down a little bit.

In this space, let everybody finish what they're saying.

When we go more slowly,

usually, everyone thinks a little more clearly,

and sometimes, when we wait,

people don't say what we think they are going to.

Sam and I took refuge in each other.

I learned that from one of the books I read.

Not yours.

Hmm.

That it was a refuge.

You were in this together.

Mm-hmm.

You still are.

You are bonded to each other.

It's very moving.

- Sam. - Yup.

You love your mother,

and I think that can give us a way to help you.

I want you to think in a new way of how

you can protect your mother.

As you struggle with this impulse

to become violent,

I want you to protect your mother

by not acting on that impulse.

So that she can be free from this source of pain.

So...

you think to yourself,

"I will not do this,

so that I can protect my mother."

Will you do that for me, Sam?

Okay.

Pastitsio.

That guy at the...

This restaurant where I did the inspection.

I went back there tonight.

Mmm.

I figured I'd be okay,

maybe,

you know, with you here.

I was just looking at him.

How did that feel?

I got my food.

There he was.

Mm, I sat in my car across the street,

and I did the whole thing

in my head, every second.

You said with me here.

Was this a test for yourself?

Yeah, I guess so.

Seems like you did well.

I-I want to show him...

I-I want to teach him how to behave

to other people in the world. I...

I still want to do it.

Okay.

Mmm. Mmm.

Thanks.

Was it like that with the other ones who you...

Did they do something

that made you want to teach them a lesson?

Yes.

They were all... I...

Every one of them deserved it.

Candace?

Candace, we need to talk.

No. No. No. No.

Stop.