Original subtitles

[screams, grunts]

* *

-[birds chirping] -Ah! It's a beautiful day.

To swing an ax at a tree.

[grunting]

-Another day of fixing the failures

of those less capable.

A Phil's work is never done.

[rhythmic squeaking, knocking]

[percussive grunting]

[dripping, banging, squeaking]

[yelling, grunting]

[goat-like screaming]

[cacophony]

[both sighing]

-Woo! What a day.

-Truly, it was a day indeed.

-And I know what I need right now.

-As do I. -[both sniffing]

[high-pitched singing]

BOTH: Pie!

Huh?

* Let's live wild, the world's our own *

* We built this wheel now it's gunna roll *

* You know a spark becomes a fire wherever we go *

* Whoa-ho-ho *

* Stuck together, stuck, stuck together *

* It's an evolution for worse or for better *

* To find some unity *

* For all humanity *

* Because we're stuck together *

* In one big family tree *

[Ugga humming]

* *

[both humming]

-PHIL/GRUG: It's mine! -[both growl]

-It's my pie, Phil. I deserve it.

-And what makes you say that?

Besides the sea foam occupying your skull?

-Well, first, I'm awesome,

and, B, I've been doing chores all day

to keep things going around here.

-And what do you think I was doing all day?!

-Sharpening your elbows and knees.

-[gasps] No! I was doing chores

to keep this farm running at peak efficiency!

And since mychores are infinitelymore challenging

than the grunt work you do,

-that pie is mine! -Wait.

You think your chores are harder than mine?

-I don't think. I know!

-[growls] Gimme that pie!

[both grunting, struggling]

-Your burly bulk is no match for my dynamic dexterity!

-[growls] Mine!

-Very well!

You leave me no choice! Betterman Blitz!

Give! [grunts] Me! [grunts] My! [grunts] Pie!

-[struggling] You flesh lump! -HOPE: Phil!

What's going on here?

-Yeah. Grug, why are you wearing Phil?

-What? I'm not wearing Phil. I'd rather wear tar.

-Understandable.

Tar would be a vast improvement to this putrid pelt.

[coughing, groans, clears throat]

I'm simply helping this blustering behemoth

comprehend whose chores are most challenging

and thus more deserving of this pie.

-And while Phil's pie hole is flapping,

I'm gonna eat this pie!

[gasps, yelps]

-You will do no such thing! Unhand that pie at once!

-You two have done the impossible!

You've reached a new low.

-Exactly. And you don't have to fight over a pie

because I always have a backup pie to keep the pie peace.

-It's not about the pie.

[thud]

[grunts] It's the pie principle!

I don't want thispie.

[whoosh, ding]

I want thatpie.

-Don't be stubborn, Phil. Pie is pie.

[whoosh, ding]

-Sorry, but Phil's right.

It's thispie or die.

-Indeed. It's a simple a matter of pie Q, dear.

-Oh? Let's test your cry Q! -Ah, ah, ah! Clearly,

you two pie-babies deserve each other.

And for the record, your chores are equally hard.

But Grug can't do what Phil does,

and Phil can't do what Grug does.

So, it's pointless to have a competition

to decide whose chores are harder!

-Have a competition...

-To decide whose chores are harder!

-Brilliant idea!

-No! I said--

-Grug can do what Phil does.

-And I can do what you do.

-That's what I just said.

-No, you said Grug can do what Phil does.

-The point, you biological dead end,

is each of us will take on the other's chores,

and the last man, or man-beast, standing wins!

-Are you in. -To stomp you?

I'm all in!

-Thanks for the idea, honey. -Indeed, Ugga.

You inspired this glorious escapade,

along with Hope's delectable pie.

-Nope. You're not pinning this on me.

-Or me. -Too late!

[both sigh]

[birds chirping]

* *

-Gotta be honest, Phil. I didn't think you'd show up.

You must reallylike losing.

-And you must really like-- -[goat-like scream]

-You must reallylike-- -[higher scream]

-You must really-- -[lower scream]

-You must-- -[middle scream]

-You-- -[higher scream]

[frustrated growl]

You must really like... eh...

Oh! I forgot what I was going to say.

May the best man, or almost-man, win.

-Good luck doin' my chores! -I don't need luck!

-You do! -No, you do!

-Right! So, I can give it to you!

-Give what to me? -Luck!

-Huh? I can't hear you!

-What did you say?

-What?

-What? -What?

-What?! -What?!

PHIL: What?!

* *

-You're sure about this? -That's what I heard.

They're trading chores, and whoever lasts longest wins.

-Wow. This is exciting.

Like a tornado that's on fire!

-Yes! Scorchnado!

And somebody just got a new Thunder Sister name.

[echoing] Scorchnado!

-You're right, Dawn. It's gonna be a disaster.

But with chores.

-Exactly. Chorenado!

[echoing] Chorenado!

-Are you done doing that?

-Only time will tell.

-Whatever happens, it's gonna be good.

Who do we think is gonna win?

-Well, Grug's chores require lots of heavy lifting,

and that's not exactly my dad's thing.

-This soup smells divine!

[straining]

Ah! My back! Why is this spoon so heavy?!

-So, yeah. Pretty sure Grug's gonna win.

-I don't know, Dawn. Your dad's chores require

the one thing my dad doesn't have.

-A healthy way to deal with his emotions?

-No. Patience.

-Be careful. The soup is really-- -[gulping]

-Ah! Hot!

-My back has stabbed me in the back!

-[flame roars] -Ah! Still hot!

-That was a bad night. For everyone.

-Even the soup.

-I still think Phil's gonna win.

-Guy? -Can they both lose?

-No. -Okay.

I guess I'll go with Phil winning then.

But mainly because science is on his side.

-Yeah, but Grug never quits!

[yelling, loud gulping]

-Neither does Phil.

[yelling]

-Well, no matter who wins,

there's only one thing that really matters today.

-Learning to respect each other?

-What? No! Snacks!

-Wanna make this interesting?

Team Eep and Guy versus Team Dawn and Thunk.

The team that's right gets to choose

all the games we play until the next moon?

-Deal. It's on like Dawn!

-And if there's snacks, it's sunk like Thunk!

Wait. I think I did that wrong.

So, this is where chickenseal eggs come from.

Huh. Who knew?

-Pfft! Collecting eggs is easy.

-Grug's gonna crush this. -Yep.

He's gonna crush every egg on the farm.

-[chickenseals clucking] -[mechanism clicking]

-[growls] This is taking way too long.

-[hard grunting] -[winding]

Huh?

Stupid Phil invention that doesn't work when you use it right!

No wonder Phil thinks this is hard.

Because he madeit hard.

Time to make it easy. [grunts]

Mm... [laughs]

* *

[both screaming]

[clucking]

Why are you mad at me for stealing your eggs?

[screaming]

[panting]

Yes! One left.

[grunts]

-Hm...

Ah! [grunts]

[grumbles]

-Okay, I'm all snacked up.

Let's erupt this volcano!

-Hm...

DAWN: My dad and an ax?

Not exactly a dream team. You still think he's got this?

-Phil built the tree house.

He knows how to use an ax. I mean, he has to, right?

[laughs]

-Right? -Okay.

[straining]

[sighs] This ax is so heavy!

It might even be heavier than Hope's spoons.

-He's doing it! -[struggling]

-I'm doing it!

-[loud chewing] No, he's not.

-Ah! No, I'm not! Whoa-- -[crash]

Oh. There has to be a better way.

Or a Betterman way.

[maniacal laughter]

[sighs] Okay, now I actually have to do something.

It took you countless moons

to grow from small seed to towering timber,

and the Betterman Blade Bearer

will undo that extraordinary feat of nature

-in mere moments. -[whirring]

[grinding]

[sawing]

[creaking, thud]

Yes! One step closer to claiming

victory pie!

All thanks to you, triple B.

-[screaming] -[whirring]

Oh no! Betterman Blade Bearer betrayal!

Quadruple B.

[screams]

[screaming continues]

[screaming, whimpering]

[whirring]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Hm.

[whimpering]

Hm...

I may need to invent a Betterman Blade Bearer Body Barrier.

A quintuple B. Ooh!

Ah! Ah!

Quintuple B backlash!

Six B's!

[humming]

Ah! Everything about this moment is peaceful.

-Ah... -[whirring]

-Beware Berserk Betterman Blade Bearer Blade Breakdown!

Seven B's!

[screaming]

-Well, that happened.

* *

-Bug nuggets successfully refilled.

I didn't miss anything, did I?

-[screaming] -[whirring]

-Whoa.

Phil needs to fix this leak.

Oh, wait. Today, I'm Phil.

-Stop a little leak? Okay, Grug definitelyhas this.

-You might be right.

Nobody can bring things to a screeching halt like Dad.

-Right. Like every time you and I are having fun.

But stopping a leak? That's Phil's domain.

-Hm...

Hey, I know how to fix this!

'Cause it's like a game!

Rock, leak, sharp rock!

Ha!

-Sharp rock beats leak! -[creaking]

Oof!

Oh! [sighs]

Ooh! [frustrated grunt]

Huh. Leak beats sharp rock.

But rock beats leak!

-[rumbling] -Oh no.

Leak beats rock, too?

[screaming]

-Whoa! That leak got some air!

[humming]

[approaching scream]

-Grug! Stop falling from the sky!

-And rock beats Grug.

-Spike nuts, lightly salted.

Still nothing exciting to see, huh? [loud chewing]

[muffled screaming]

-And Grug thinks picking screamfruit is difficult.

Astonishing that humanity survived his ilk.

-[muffled scream] -[shudders]

Loud, haunting, yet delicious.

-[groans] Move, you bellowing berries!

[struggling]

Yield, you shrieking sustenance!

[yelling, panting]

-The good news is this can't get any worse for Phil.

-Never underestimate my dad,

especially when it comes to worse.

-Very well, basket. Let's see how immobile you are

when you feel the full force of Phil!

[screaming]

[grunts]

Ow...

This is impossible!

Because I'm thinking like a Grug,

which means I'm not thinking at all! Hm...

-[flame roars] -Yes!

Get ready to scream, screamfruit!

For mercy! But first, fawn at Phil's fancy footwork!

Woohoo-hoohoo! [laughing]

-Oh, no. -Told you.

-Okay.

Phil's using liftberries to carry a load of screamfruits.

Nice recovery.

Because science is on Phil's side.

-Yep, and that's why Phil is gonna win.

Science can carry the load.

[humming happily]

-[creaking] -[fruits screaming]

[screaming, splattering]

* *

-Is someone screaming?

[Phil screams]

[screamfruits, Phil screaming]

-I guess science can carry Phil, too.

-You know, from down here, it's hard to tell

which is the screamfruit and which is my dad.

-[birds chirping] -[Ugga sighs]

-There. Screamfruit without all the screaming.

[approaching scream]

Ah!

[splat]

[sighs]

Yep. Saw that coming.

-[approaching screams] -Ah! Oof!

That, too.

[Phil screaming]

-[splash] -But that's a twist.

[both screaming]

-I don't even mind if I miss something this time

because I have mossmallows.

And this snack juice is worth the squeeze.

Aah! No! Come back, mossmallows!

[screams]

[sighs]

[groans, sighs]

[sighing]

[splash, Phil grunting]

[panting]

-Hey, Phil! Just doing some jumping jacks

'cause your chores are so easy,

my body still has energy to burn!

What happened to you? Do you need a towel?

Or are you ready to throw in the towel? Ha! Dry burn!

-What? Uh, no, of course not.

It's just that yourchores were so undemanding,

I decided to take a leisurely dip in the lagoon!

-Oh. Well, I still have lotsof energy.

-As do I.

[both panting]

-So we'll just keep doing each other's chores?

-With glee!

Unless, of course, you concede!

-That all depends on what that word means.

-It means give up. -Oh.

Well, in that case, no. 'Cause I don't give up.

-Indeed. I've seen you eat.

But you can't. Eat. Chores.

So, it's only a matter of time until you quit.

-Sure. It'll just take forever

'cause I'm. Not. Quitting!

[both growling]

-UGGA: Yes, you are. -BOTH: Huh?

-Your little competition is ruining my painting time.

-And my yoga time. I'd show you, but it's yoga.

-More importantly,

-you've ruined the farm. -[Grug and Phil gasp]

[clucking]

* *

-[goat-like scream] -[crash]

-Eh, it's not thatbad.

[Chunky growling]

-Actually, it isthat bad. But not to worry.

Grug will be happy to clean up this mess just as soon as I win.

-No! Philwill clean it up

while I enjoy my victory pie!

-Wrong. You're both going to stuff your stubbornness

and get over yourselves!

-Then, you're gonna clean up the farm together

because this competition is over.

-But-- -Grug.

-But-- -Phil!

-Ah. Very well.

Grug and I will clean up the farm.

-Right, Grug? -Ha! Never!

-[angry growls] -Okay, I-I'll do it right away.

-You made the right choice. -What she said.

-[clears throat] Don't cry, Grug.

Save your tears for when I win.

-First of all, I'm not crying. B, win what?

Hope and Ugga said the competition is over.

-True, but that doesn't mean it's over.

-That's so Phil of you, Phil!

You talk talk words that make no sense!

How can something be over and not over?!

[exasperated sigh]

-Let me dumb it down for you.

We're going to keep the competition going

without Hope and Ugga knowing!

Rhyme unintended.

[panting]

I'm severing the farm in half with this dividing vine.

First person to clean their half wins the pie.

[angelic music]

[high-pitched singing]

Hey! I didn't say go! No fair!

[panting]

-Just when we thought we were out,

they pulled us back in,

even though we never left.

-Yup. So, maybe we make it even interestinger.

-Not a word, but I'm still on board.

-Okay. Team Guy and I versus Team Dawn and Thunk.

Losing team helps the winner sleep

by making nightingwhale noises all night until the next moon.

[whale-like noises]

[loud bird cawing]

-[whale-like noises] -I don't know.

Nightingwhale noises never really help me slee--

[snoring]

[thud, snoring continues]

No leaning, all cleaning.

-That's mypie! Mine! -PHIL: Wrong!

-Because thanks to the Betterman Garbage Go-and-Grab,

that pie is mine.

-Not according to my Crood Hands

That Move Trash to Your Side...

a-majiggers.

-Oh no, you didn't!

-Oh no, I did!

-Very well. You trash talk the trash talk.

Let's see if you can trash walk the trash walk!

-Ha! -[pop]

-[thud] -Oh, yeah?

Well, I see your trash, and I raise you a...

[snarling]

-Racobra?!

Ah! That's not clean!

Ah! That's just mean!

-Grug scores! Grug scores!

-Yes! Scorenado!

[echoing] Scorenado!

-So you weren't done doing that?

-Nope. I left that door open.

-Are you done doing that? -Only time will tell.

-Oh yeah. Forgot. -Thunk scores!

-Ah, nice one!

The old racobra play! A Dad classic.

-Yeah, but Phil has the science to beat it.

-Probably. -I don't know.

My dad doesn't handle venom well.

Poison in general, really.

-Yeah. I've seen this before on window.

-And my dad's gonna win by-- -No spoilers, T-Bone!

[squealing]

-Fun's over, pigators!

It's time for you to head to your pen

and that pie to head to my mouth.

-Just thought you should know

I took your racobra out of play.

[curious growl]

[mischievous growl]

[hiss]

And now, I'm going to take you out of play!

By using cocobooms to upheave your side of the farm

into a mess beyond repair. Ha!

-Cocobooms? Ha!

I'd like to see you try. You throw like a Phil!

-Fair point.

Fortunately, I don't need to throw,

thanks to my Garbage Go-and-Grab slash Cocoboom Cannon!

[popping]

-[whistling] -Coco-no!

[grunting]

Caught every last one!

-[pop] -Huh?

There's more? No fair!

[pigators squealing]

Huh? [grunts]

-Game. Set. Pie.

Nothing can stop me now.

-[snarling, hissing] -Except... Ah!

You opened the gate. How?

[growling]

Gah! Racobras have hands! I knew that!

[screams]

[popping]

-[Grug panting] -[squealing]

-[Ugga humming] -[smash, goat-like scream]

-Do you think all that noise is Phil and Grug cleaning up?

-It better be. -[whistling]

-BOTH: Aah! -[smash]

-[popping] -[Phil screaming]

-PHIL: Go away! -GRUG: Never!

-So, they ignored us. -As usual.

-Which means wehave to fix this.

-As usual.

-Ready-- Ah! To quit-- Ah! Grug? -[snarling]

-Quit? Ah! Never! Ah! -[whistling, exploding]

-Well, then it appears you and I

will spend the rest of our days dodging racobras

and cocobooms!

-Huh! That's a long time!

-Indeed! Too long!

So, perhaps there's another way to end our standoff?

[grunts]

-Death? -[frustrated groan]

-Or something less permanent! Like a tie!

-A tie?! No way! I'm a winner! -[explosions]

Ah! A tie works, too!

-A tie it is! [gasps]

There. Now do something about this racobra!

-You got it.

Help yourself to as much garbage as you can carry, Dennis.

[chittering]

Problem solved.

-Is it? -Whoa!

What happened?

PHIL: What? We happened!

-You were here! -Oh, yeah.

And all because we couldn't share a pie.

-Indeed. A delicious golden brown pie

with a crust so flaky it makes your troubles melt away.

[both sigh]

[angelic music]

[high-pitched singing]

[both growl]

[both panting, grunting]

[squeal]

[cheering]

[panting]

[grunting, struggling]

[slow-motion yelling]

* *

-[music stops] -[both grunt]

-Looking for this?

-Yes! How'd you know?

-No. Not until you stop all this

and agree that both of your chores are equally hard.

-Ugh, fine! They're the same.

-Agreed. Our labors are equal.

Whether it's true or not.

-[both growl] -Uh, and it's true.

-Good. Glad that's settled.

And when you two finish cleaning up the farm,

you can share the pie.

-Very well. And to think, Hope,

all of this could have been avoided

if you had just made more pie.

-Good point, Phil! Why didn't you think of that, Ugga?

BOTH: Hm...

[grunting]

[both groan]

-W-w-why'd you do that?! -Yes!

Uncalled for and, frankly, rude.

-So, I guess we all lose?

-Sorta. But you know what I learned?

-Not a real question because you're not gonna wait for us to answer.

-I learned that there's a snack limit.

Sometimes, you can have too much of a good snack,

-and I'm snacked out. -[whistling]

-[grunts] Ooh! Never mind!

Sky pie! Sky! [loud eating]

* *

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