Original subtitles

-[screams, grunts] -[snarling]

* *

PHIL: Take as much time as you need.

You've already lost. You just don't know it yet.

Wait. Something's off.

Fourteen, 15, 16. Hm. A stick is missing.

[gasps] A stick is missing!

[gasping]

-Hey, Phil, we're going cave diving.

Can we borrow a couple of glow lamps?

-Follow-up question. You're on the floor why?

-I'm looking for a Stack Sticks stick.

We're in the middle of a game,

and I was about to initiate a cascade of stratagem

that would leave my opponent breathless.

-We? Who are you playing with? -Philliam.

He's the only worthy gaming adversary I can find.

Everyone else on the farm has proven inadequate.

Present company included.

-I like that you're just using

insults as backstory now.

-Who has time for both?

-Efficiency is the product of a potent intellect.

A commodity I have faith you'll attain in time. Ow!

-Yeah, so we're just gonna grab some glow lamps,

and let you get back to the voice in your head.

-[gasps] Wait! Don't go! I'm sorry.

Will you help me find my stick?

-I love a good hunt! Even if it's just for a stick. Mom?

-Sure. I've already done dumber things than that today.

Okay, so if it fell off the table,

it probably landed right around--

-Here! It's here! -[Phil grunts, groans]

-Wait! It's not here. -Right,

because it probably kept rolling

on account of the ground being so uneven.

-Are you critiquing my flawless floors?

How dare you! A stick is missing. A stick!

-[Ugga grumbles] -[Phil gasps]

* *

Gah! Now you've lost my rock!

-No, Phil. We found your stick.

-My stick! Andmy rock!

You found them both! But, how?

-I guess we've "attained the intellect"

we need to find stuff.

Including stuff I wish we hadn'tfound.

-What and why is that? -It's a Phil-leopard.

Half Phil, half leopard. Does that answer your question?

-Yes, but it raises several more questions.

-Well, thank you again for locating my missing stick.

It appears as though not

everyone on the farm is a cognitive sinkhole.

-Combining compliments and insults. Also a time-saver.

-And finding that stick was actually kind of fun.

Let us know if you lose anything else, especially the attitude.

-Hm! Hm...

Philliam? Did you cheat while I was distracted?

[water drip]

Understandable. A hollow victory is still a victory. Stick bump!

-[clatters] -Philliam!

* Let's live wild, the world's our own *

* We built this wheel now it's gunna roll *

* You know a spark becomes a fire wherever we go *

* Whoa-ho-ho *

* Stuck together, stuck, stuck together *

* It's an evolution for worse or for better *

* To find some unity *

* For all humanity *

* Because we're stuck together *

* In one big family tree *

UGGA: [laughs] Best cave diving ever!

-But maybe we shouldn't tell Dad the diving vine broke

and almost dropped you into a pool of lava.

-What vine? In fact, who are you?

-[both laugh] -[Guy grunting]

[grunting]

-[sighs] Don't mind me.

I'm just fighting rocks. And losing.

-Guy-boy, what happened? -I was waiting for the elevator,

when snap! The vine broke, and I almost got flattened!

Someone put a bunch of rocks in there.

-Why would anybody do that?

-No clue! All I know

is that I've been pulling out these heavy rocks all morning.

[grunts] By myself.

-Oh! -[crunch]

-Always on thatfoot! -Aw, Guy-boy.

-Do you need some-- -PHIL: Help!

Eep! Ugga! It's Philliam!

Someone has taken-- Ah!

It's Phill-- Ah!

[straining] Sorry.

Still working out the kinks on the Betterman Breezy Glider!

-It allows you to glide while enjoying a refreshing breeze.

EEP: Hm...

-But hold your applause because

something has happened to Philliam!

-You mean that stick doll Dawn made you?

-Stick doll? Just because Philliam is made of sticks

doesn't mean he's not a source of comfort or a good listener

or a dear friend, worthy of my trust, loyalty,

and even love.

-Uh...

-Uh, and someone has taken Philliam from my lab!

Hurry! Time is of the essence. To the lab cave!

Ah!

I said to the lab cave!

-[whirring] -To! The! Lab! Cave! Come!

On! Breezy! Glider!

-We'll meet you there, Phil. -[straining]

-Ah! Don't leave me! -Oh yeah!

No, you guys go ahead and find Phil's stick thing.

I'll just be here, by myself,

getting the rocks out of the elevator.

The elevator that everyone uses! [grunts]

Ah! Come on!

-Philliam and I were in the middle

of a heated game of Stack Sticks this morning.

I lost the match, and then I lost my temper.

Ooh! You're not a man!

You're man-shaped kindling!

[struggling]

Ah!

Stack Sticks is a passionate game,

so I decided to cool off by taking a hot steam.

When I returned, he was gone.

Oh, Philliam. If only I could turn back time.

-Maybe he got knocked off the table.

-Yeah! Like your Stack Sticks stick!

Which means Philliam is right...

here!

Or there's another leaf drawing,

which is somehow creepier than the last one.

-Phil, what is going on with you?

-Ignore this perfectly healthy flight of fancy,

and rededicate your attentions to finding Philliam!

Philliam!

[crying]

-Wow. I've never seen Phil this upset before.

Or clingy. So, should we help him?

[hyperventilating]

-If helping Phil means we get to solve a mystery, I'm in.

-Fine, Phil. We'll help you.

-Wonderful! And since you're helping me, I'll help you...

help me.

-You want me to take out your garbage?

-Not garbage. Clues!

I found them while searching for Philliam.

Perhaps whoever took Philliam left them behind.

-That ishelpful. Thanks, Phil.

Well, we better start looking for someone who's sloppy.

-Wait! This is the last known picture of Philliam.

I drew it this morning.

This is Philliam with a mustache...

-Uh, thanks.

-And this is a picture of Philliam at the beach.

Just Philliam and I, playing in the sand.

[happy music]

-[music stops] -[crying]

-Uh, okay. We're gonna go now.

-We'll visit that beach again, Philliam. Just you and I.

-I know we're just looking for some missing sticks,

but it feels like the stakes have never been higher.

-You mean the stick stakes? -[both laugh]

Boom! And Phil is even closer to losing it than usual.

-Agreed. So, we know one of these people

-took Phil's stick doll. -EEP: Hm...

And we know Dawn didn't do it because she's Dawn.

Guy's clean because he was busy dropping rocks on his foot.

UGGA: And we know it wasn't Sandy

because she's only interested

in sticks that are weapons, meat skewers, or both.

-And these clues are gonna help us figure out

who it was, but how?

-I don't know where this grass came from,

but the color is so familiar.

-Yeah, Mom, because it's green. -[gasps]

-Green? Oh, Ugga. To see the world as simply as you do.

-It's chartreuse. -[growls]

-Mom?

-Sorry. This came from Hope's yoga mat.

-Which means Hope did it! I knew it!

-Well, she's not a Philliam fan,

but just to be sure, let's ask her some questions.

-Like why she did it and how long

she's been swiping sticks and why she can't stop!

-Or questions to figure out if she actually did it.

-Right. Because she did it.

* *

[humming]

-Hey, Hope? -Gah!

-Never sneak up on me! Ever! Got it?!

Sorry. I was just meditating.

It helps me with my internalized rage.

-Well, seems like it's working. -So you're angry, huh?

Angry enough to steal Philliam, perhaps?

-Someone stole Philliam? That's not good.

The last time Philliam went missing,

Dad took it really hard.

-You're no Philliam!

None of you are Philliam!

[grunting]

-That's my pil... low.

-Let it go, Dawn. He needs this.

-We really have to find Philliam.

-Consider it done, Dawn,

because we already know who has sticky stick-fingers.

-Your mom took him. -What? Why would I do that?

Because Phil treats that stupid stick

like it's alive and part of the family?

Sorry, honey. I know you made it.

But I didn't take Philliam.

-Yes, you did! And here's the proof!

Green grass from youryoga mat!

-We found it in the lab cave where Philliam was last seen.

-First of all, that's not green. It's chartreuse.

And the reason it was there is because Phil

was fixing a snag in my yoga mat.

-Huh. Okay, but it still doesn't mean you didn't take Philliam!

-Where were you this morning? -I was here with Dawn,

hanging wind chimes in the tree.

-See? -That's a full morning of chimes.

-And then some.

[gentle chiming]

-[grunting] -[blowing, loud chiming]

-Ah! I told you it's too much chime, Mom! Too much!

-[chiming continues] -You can't have too much chime

because you can't be too relaxed!

* *

-I knew Hope didn't do it. -What are you talking about?

You were sure Hope was our stick thief.

-Stop living in the past, Mom.

Live in the now! What other clues do we have?

A crowverine feather? [gasps]

Why didn't I think of this earlier? A crowverine did it!

-Good instinct,

but the question we have to ask ourselves

is whywould a crowverine take Philliam?

-Hm... It wouldn't,

butsomeone who has a complicated relationship

with crowverines would!

-[straining] -Gran, did you take Philliam?

-[groans] It's possible.

I take lots of things.

-You mean like Phil's ballista?

-Exactly! And what's a Philliam?

'Cause it sounds like a poison

and worth swiping.

[grunts]

-It's Phil's stick doll.

-What?! That's not a stick doll!

That's just Phil, and I don't take people.

Wink-wink. So the deal's off!

-We didn't have a deal. -Enough with the runaround!

We know you did it, Gran! If that's even your real name...

-It isn't! But my real name

can't be pronounced by your weak tongues.

So you can call me...

-[thunder rumbles] -Queen O' Wimmins!

-[flame roars] -Leatherbelly!

-[glass shatter] -The Shriekquilizer!

-[punches] -Gristlechops!

-[snapping] -All Gums!

-[thunder rumbles] -Bloodstorm!

-Uh, yeah, we got it, Mom.

But if youdidn't take Phillia,

what was this feather doing in Phil's lab cave?

-[laughing] That's Malachi's feather.

He leaves fathers around the farm to taunt me,

but don't worry. He'll get his.

And I only take things I can use!

Like weapons and teeth.

What am I gonna do with a stick doll?

* *

-So there's only one more clue,

but it's just a stick.

Wait. What if thisstick is actually Philliam?

He faked his own stick-napping

and changed his appearance to start a new life!

It makes perfect sense!

-So, that's a theory that we're gonna set aside for now

because this isn't just a stick. Smell it.

[sniffing, gasps]

-This is a meat stick.

-And who do we know who likes meat sticks?

-Huh. Everyone. They're delicious!

-Good point, but who likes meat sticks andhates Phil?

* *

-Wha-- Oh, what's that, Phil?

Fallis your favorite season?

-Well, you're in luck. -Okay, Dad!

We know what you did... Wait, what are you doing?

-Oh, I was just about to smash this melon with Phil's face on it.

-That's supposed to be Phil? -Yeah! Look.

Here's his two stupid eyes, his stupid nose,

and his big, stupid mouth!

And his second mouth and his face thorns.

-Oh. Yeah.

I kindasee it. But why are you smashing it?

-Because Phil bannedme from using the elevator!

-Why? -[grunting]

-See you later, alli-garbage!

-PHIL: Grug! -Aah!

No idea, but he did.

So I'm dropping Phil-melons insteadof the real Phil.

Better for everyone, right?

-Especially Phil.

-[splat] -[goat shrieks]

-Ah, that hit the spot.

-So, what do you know about Philliam?

-What do you wanna know? That he's a great listener?

That he lifts me up when I'm feeling down?

That he's the only one on the farm

who really understands me?

Mm...

-[uncomfortable sighs]

-Okay, Grug, is there something else you want to tell us?

* *

-BOTH: Hm? -[uncomfortable grunt]

-Hm? -[uncomfortable grunting]

-Okay, fine! I did it!

-Ha, ha! I knew it!

-I drew a picture of Phil on a melon, and then smashed it!

-N-not that, Grug. We already know that.

-Yeah, because we just saw you do it

and then you explained what you were doing.

-Okay, fine. I did it!

I ate the pigator's food,

'cause Phil told me I couldn't digest it.

-No, that's not what we're--

-And I put a bunch of rocks in Phil's elevator to break it!

-Phil was right. You shouldn't be allowed to use the elevator.

-Forget all that! Dad,

Philliam disappeared this morning,

and we know you did it.

-Philliam's gone?! W-w-well, I didn't take him.

I mean, I wish I had. He's a real rock. For a stick.

But I couldn't have taken Philliam this morning.

-I was busy. -Doing what?

-I just told you. The Phil-melon thing,

eating the pigators' food, and putting rocks in the elevator.

-Wait, you did all of those things this morning?

-Phil anger keeps me busy. And warm.

* *

-He's not our guy.

-I knewit was somebody else!

-[Ugga sighs] -[Eep laughing, grunting]

-Well, we know your dad didn't take Philliam.

-I know, which means none of the people

who clearlydid it actuallydid it.

-So someone elsetook Philliam.

-But who? We're out of clues!

-We should go back to the lab cave.

Maybe we'll find something.

-As long as it's not another drawing of a Phil-nimal.

[shudders]

-And... done!

-[laughs] -[grumbles, barks]

Hm. It's not quite right. [gasps]

Whoops! I'll just tell Dad Philliam got a haircut.

Problem solved. Ah!

New problem!

-EEP: Find anything? -[sighs] Nothing. You?

-Even more nothing. -Mm...

-What are you two doing? You're supposed to be looking for Philliam,

and Philliam isn't here. He's out there.Somewhere.

-Alone. -We're just taking another look

around here to see if we can find any more clues.

-What? No. I gave you all the clues.

The grass, the stick, and the feather.

-Yeah, but all of those clues were dead ends.

-So you're giving up?!

-No! We're gonna find him,

just like we found your Stack Sticks stick.

- Andlike how I just found another clue.

-I knew it. A bug nugget did it!

-That's not a clue. That's a snack.

-Yes. A snack.

That will lead us right to a certain snacker.

* *

EEP: Mm, mm, mmm. Look at him,

scheming about which stick doll he's gonna take next.

-First of all, there's only one stick doll.

And secondly, we don't know if Thunk did it.

-Of course, he did it. Think about it.

Thunk sits on the couch, doing nothing but watching window

for days on end.

Over time, doing nothing becomes his thing.

That all changes when Thunk meets Philliam,

the stick doll who can't move.

Sure, we all see a bundle of harmless sticks,

but Thunk sees something else. A rival.

So he decides to get rid of the competition by grabbing it

and turning it into a backscratcher.

-A backscratcher?

Well, Thunk does have a lot of hard-to-reach itches.

-Exactly. And instead of just watching him,

-Why don't we ask him? -Mm-hmm.

Remember the last time you accused Thunk of something?

-Hey, Thunk? Did you eat the last piece of pie?

-Pie? What pie? I-I-I don't even know what pie is!

[slurps, gulps]

You can't prove anything! [grunts]

-So, what do we do? -We wait.

And if he's the one who took Philliam,

eventually he's gonna make a move,

leading us right to our missing stick doll.

-Or backscratcher. Too bad we're almost done here.

I love doing this with you.

-Banana chip? -Oh, you brought snacks.

-Well played, but stay frosty. -[chewing]

[snoring]

[yelling]

Oh no! We fell asleep!

-Relax, Mom. It's Thunk. I'm sure we didn't miss a thing.

* *

Ah! We missed a thing! Thunk's gone! [gasps]

He's on the move.

Kinda slowly, but still, he's getting away!

[Thunk humming]

[whispering] So, should we just jump out and yell "gotcha,"

or do you wanna chase him a little first?

THUNK: There you are.

-Right where I left you.

-That's it! That's where Thunk stashed Philliam!

-Thunk? Honey? Can we talk to you about something?

-You took Philliam 'cause he's more nothing than you'll ever not be!

I'm pretty sure that makes sense,

so hand over... the bug nuggets?

-Uh... Never!

-[panting] Ow! -Thunk,

what are you doing out here?

-Tapping into my secret bug nugget stash.

Every day, I hide a bowl of bug nuggets

in case of a Thunkmergency.

What are youdoing out here?

-Someone took Philliam from Phil's lab cave,

and we thought it was you because we found this.

-[gasps] Gerald!

-Gerald? -I name all my bug nuggets.

Gerald is part of yesterday's stash. I must have dropped him.

Oh, Gerald. We'll never be parted again.

[chomp, chewing]

[gasps] Oh no! Gerald!

What have I done?!

[crying, screaming] Oh, Gerald!

-I don't get it. Thunk was stashing snacks,

not stealing sticks.

We followed all the clues,

and no one was even nearPhil's lab cave

-when Philliam went missing. -No one except for Phil.

-Hm...

Why are we smiling?

Oh, you're saying Phil took Philliam!

That slippery little flamingopher! I knew it!

-Sure, because there's no one left.

Now let's go crack this Phil fib wide open!

-Come back here!

Okay, Douglas!

-Drop it! That's right, Douglas! -[growling]

-Nowhere to go. -[barks]

-Except into the waterfall! -[splash]

[growls, grunts]

-[Douglas howling] -[Dawn yelling]

-I still can't believe Phil would do this.

I mean, I guess I can, but whywould he do this?

-I don't know, but we're about to find out.

-Phil! We wanna talk to you. -Who, me?

Talk about wha-- Ah!

EEP: He's seriously rolling away?

-Oh no, he's not!

-[whirring] -[screaming]

[panting]

-[whirring] -[screaming]

-Not so fast, Phil!

-EEP: Yeah! Slow your roll! -[chewing, grunting]

[straining]

-Good morning, Cynthia.

DAWN: Douglas! Come back here!

-[slow motion] Cynthia!

-[Phil screaming] -We know you took Philliam!

-You can run, but you can't hide!

-[Phil screaming] -[Gran panting]

-[chiming] -Ah...

We've reached sublime chime

because you can never have too many chimes.

-[panting] -Douglas, drop it!

-[loud chiming] -[gasps] Oh no! Too many chimes!

We're in overchime!

-Get back here, Phil! -You can't roll from the truth!

-Hey, guys! I fixed the elevator!

By myself! Totally rock-free now!

Wait! Oh! Oh!

Again?! Who keeps doing this?!

[Phil screaming]

[both grunt]

-No more rolling, Phil!

-We've been onto you the whole time.

[Ugga clears throat]

Okay, maybe this one snuck up on me,

but it still over, Phil!

-Oh, thank the stars!

-Wait. You're happy we caught you?

-Yes! -Then why did you run?

-I didn't! It's this Breezy Glider!

It's got a mind of its own.

-Why didn't you just use the brakes?

-Hm... Brakes. Interesting. [gasps]

-[whirring] -Breezy Glider, no!

* *

[sighs]

-Forget your invention! We know you took Philliam!

-Hm.

-[slow clap] -[unnerving laugh]

EEP: Hm?

Why are you clapping slowly like that?

-I don't know. It just feels right.

The point is, you figured it out. I took Philliam.

-Yes! We know! But, why did you take Philliam?

-I've spent years trying to find a mind

able to match wits with mine.

Someone to challenge me,

to push me to new intellectual heights!

So when you two found my missing Stack Sticks stick,

I thought perhaps I'd found something even more elusive.

A worthy adversary!

But, I had to be sure.

So I concocted this elaborate ruse!

EEP: So, the green grass, the feather,

and the meat stick?

-That was allyou? -Yes.

And Thunk's accidental bug nugget loss

was my game gain.

All false leads to test your game-playing skills,

and you passed with flying colors.

Brava, Ugg and Eep!

Bra... va.

-Gotta say, Phil, staging a theft

and then trying to pin the blame on others

is a terrible way to find game opponents.

-But you're Phil, so that makes sense. -True.

-And this was actually a lot of fun.

-Indeed. Even Philliam enjoyed himself.

Isn't that right, Philliam?

Uh, Philliam?

-[gasping] Philliam's gone! -Seriously?

-Yes! Someone must have taken him!

You have to help me find him! [sobbing]

-Drop that Philliam, Douglas!

[panting]

-Philliam? Philliam!

[grunting]

Philliam! Welcome home!

-Douglas must have thought it was one of his chew-toys.

But there he is, safe and sound.

The one and only Philliam!

-Hm. Hm...

Something's different.

-Right. His hair!

I gave him a stick-over and a fresh, new do.

-Hm...

I love it! You look healthy, Philliam!

Vibrant! Robust! Thank you, Dawn.

I don't know what I would do without him.

-Of course, Dad.

And now, you two can get back to playing Stack Sticks.

[inhales through gritted teeth]

-Yes, except I'm putting Philliam

in Stack Sticks stasis

because I found some realcompetition.

Meet me in the lab cave, and we'll stack it out,

stick by stick!

Oh, don't be jealous, Philliam. You had a good run,

and you're still my favorite.

-Yep. A stick is his favorite. Not his daughter or his wife.

-So, Douglastook Philliam.

-I knew it! -No.

When I heard Philliam was lost,

I made a new one. It was either that

or watch him throw our stuff over the waterfall again.

-Replacement Philliam. Good call.

-Well, I've had enough of searching for stick dolls.

-Time to relax. -You know what helps me relax?

-[echoing] No chimes!

[all gasp, sigh]

-Mm-hmm...

* *

Ha!

[gasps] No!

-You lose again, Phil.

-This was a huge mistake! Let's go, Philliam!

-I wonder what happened to the real Philliam.

GRUG: You're free, Philliam.

No more Phil 'cause I don't let sticks down.

Rocks, sure,

but not sticks.

And the best part is Phil has no idea.

EEP: Not so fast, Phil!

* *

[gasps]

-Hello, friend.

And now, we can spend the rest of our lives together.

Philliam!

* *

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