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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,378
Happy Saturday!
2
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:07,215
Or should I say, Satur-Hair Day!
3
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,718
When I'm not at Saturdays on Saturdays,
4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,220
I'm usually here once a month
getting my hair did.
5
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:15,432
Jeannette's Beauty Bar
on the South Side of Chicago.
6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,183
That's Jeannette.
7
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,562
Keeper of my crown
and stylist extraordinaire.
8
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,691
She's a little wild
with the water, but it's fine.
9
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,360
I stay hydrated. (gasps)
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,904
Despite Jeannette's heavy handedness,
11
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,908
she hooks your girl up
with the most original of styles.
12
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,662
Mm-mm. Don't laugh at the shrinkage.
13
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,289
It's a sign of healthy hair.
14
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:42,208
Plus, in a minute,
you won't even recognize me.
15
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,671
Cute, huh? I'm telling you,
ain't nobody in Saturdays
16
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,548
rockin' a 'do like mine.
17
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,133
-(chuckles) Right?
-Mm-hmm.
18
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,219
Why is Sonia Little
rockin' a 'do like mine?
19
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,223
I don't know. Did you tip Jeannette?
20
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,349
No.
21
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,851
Maybe you should've.
22
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,856
Yeah, I see that now.
23
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:07,233
(hip-hop music plays)
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,488
♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪
25
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,365
♪ All we do is celebrate ♪
26
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,869
♪ As long as I got fun, familyAnd friends ♪
27
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,996
♪ I got everything that I need ♪
28
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,791
♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪
29
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,585
♪ We ain't got no time to waste ♪
30
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:29,380
♪ No work, all play, no stress ♪
31
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,091
♪ We got everything that we need ♪
32
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,219
♪ 'Cause there ain't no other dayLike Saturday ♪
33
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,472
(indistinct chatter)
34
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,686
I can't believe Sonia's over there
rockin' my style.
35
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,565
Here they come. Here they come.
36
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,029
We-B-Girlz.
37
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,531
2-Cute-4-U.
38
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,413
Nice 'do.
39
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,499
Likewise.
40
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,584
Jeannette?
41
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,253
Mm-hmm.
42
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,926
Cool.
43
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,095
Cool.
44
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,181
(music intensifies)
45
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,766
(music ends)
46
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,562
That's it? Really?
47
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,397
No-- no fighting? No hair pulling?
48
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,691
No off-colored remarks
about each other's mothers?
49
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,985
Yeah. You know, a good "yo mama joke"
goes a long way.
50
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,361
-FRED: For real.
-(laughs) Yes.
51
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,406
Ivan, why don't you just stop
being so beautiful?
52
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,908
(scoffs) Simone, could you please refrain
53
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,327
from showering Ivan
with your unwavering admiration?
54
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,787
It only tends to embarrass him
55
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,081
seeing as he feels
the same way about you as well.
56
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,833
Iris, stop talking!
57
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,045
(squeals)
58
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,339
Oh! I knew I'd wear him down.
59
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,966
I knew it! Thank you!
60
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:58,219
That stare-down with Sonia
was kind of intense.
61
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,013
Don't worry, girl, we have your back.
62
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,433
Trust me. They didn't want to see me
come out of these wings.
63
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,144
They didn't want this fairy dust,
okay, girls?
64
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,563
Girls? Girls!
65
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,148
Come-- come here! Listen...
66
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,401
(beeping)
67
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,657
Cal, you still haven't figured
that thing out yet?
68
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,868
My true crime doc is about to come on.
69
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,037
Ooh-hoo-hoo! Let me tell you something.
70
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,206
This thing bongs at me one more time,
71
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,624
the only true crime is gonna be
72
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:28,958
whoever it hits
when I throw it out the window!
73
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,586
Well, if it's this difficult
programming a Smart TV,
74
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:34,005
maybe we should've just stuck
with the dumb one.
75
00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,757
(sighs) London, just in time.
76
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,300
Help your father with this TV.
77
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,135
-Again?
-Yes.
78
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,388
Dad, I've shown you how to do this,
like, a thousand times.
79
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,598
Two thousand times.
80
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:44,933
He's just trying to spare your feelings.
81
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,643
Okay, here, make it 2,001. Go on.
82
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,852
-What?
-Come on, let me see.
83
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,314
-What?
-Ruby.
84
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,025
Turn on the TV.
85
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,361
RUBY: Of course, London. My pleasure.
86
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,779
(TV chimes)
87
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,240
Will there be anything else?
88
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,324
(chuckles)
89
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,867
Uh, no, Ruby. Thank you.
90
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,285
RUBY: No. Thank you.
91
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,204
Mm. You hear that? "Thank you."
92
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,539
Now, how hard was that?
93
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,791
It wasn't hard at all.
94
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,042
You know what the problem is?
95
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,044
You kids are too dependent on technology.
96
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,379
You don't have to think for yourselves.
97
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,422
Got your little search engines
to do it for you.
98
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,800
Back in my day, our search engine
99
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,302
was a 20-pound encyclopedia
that doubled as a coffee table.
100
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,304
But-- Okay. Well, Dad,
you know what your problem is?
101
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,139
-Hm.
-You're getting old.
102
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,724
-DEB: Mm.
-Old and outdated. (laughs)
103
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,811
Ruby, what's another word
for "old and outdated"?
104
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,272
RUBY: That's easy. Cal Johnson.
105
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,482
(all laugh)
106
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,694
DEB: Ha-ha!
107
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,654
I'm old, huh?
108
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,239
I'm not that old. (chuckles)
109
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,615
RUBY: You sure about that, Cal?
110
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,033
Ooh! (groans)
111
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,243
You're lucky you're expensive.
112
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,624
(grunts)
113
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,169
Ruby, turn on the lights.
114
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,550
Ruby, baby, turn on the lights
115
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,635
and play my morning Pretty Boy mix.
116
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,263
Ruby!
117
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,099
You know you hear me, girl.
Turn on the lights!
118
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,726
Quit playin' with me!
119
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:11,936
-No Ruby?
-Nope.
120
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,230
-No Wi-Fi?
-No Ruby?
121
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,024
Nope. Got rid of both.
122
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,150
But, Dad, why?
123
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,152
Mom, why aren't you saying
anything about this?
124
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,403
Well, because your dad
bought me a hot spot.
125
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,863
Okay, he may be mad, but he ain't crazy.
126
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,990
Removing Wi-Fi and Internet access
127
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,908
has to be a form of child endangerment.
128
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:26,993
(scoffs)
129
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,870
The only thing endangered here
are your minds.
130
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,038
So, from now on,
131
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,373
the Johnson family are strictly analog.
132
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,000
(chimes)
133
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,168
What is that?
134
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:37,337
-That is a telephone.
-Mm.
135
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,921
A landline.
136
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,840
Alexander Graham Bell ring a bell?
137
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,759
-BOTH: No.
-What?
138
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,261
And to think we sent you
to private school.
139
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,638
Uh, if you need to send an email,
140
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,683
send a fax instead.
141
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,977
-Facts about what?
-No, a fax.
142
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,729
Facts about what? He's asking.
143
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,357
-Wow.
-Okay, let's just stop here.
144
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,025
-Trying to explain these two-way pagers...
-It's, um...
145
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,109
...might just kill 'em.
146
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,736
BOTH: What is that?
147
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,822
(upbeat music playing)
148
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,036
Paris, my girl.
149
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,120
Our girl.
150
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,747
Girl, you went out there
151
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,583
and you start throwin' bolos.
Like, wham! Wham! Wham!
152
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,960
-(chuckles) Wham! Wham!
-Yes.
153
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,045
Wham-Wham, what?
154
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,797
Girl, come on, you know!
155
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,799
The meme, girl. The meme.
156
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:23,966
(laughs)
157
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,719
That is funny, okay?
158
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,680
Kinda rude. But more funny than rude.
159
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,099
(chuckles) Who made it?
160
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,643
@ChitownFrenchGirl?
161
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,062
I mean, it's kind of obvious,
Paris, that you made it.
162
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,147
I didn't make that.
163
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,524
Paris, it's okay.
164
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:40,858
We all know how you get
165
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,527
when you start feeling
a little threatened.
166
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,945
You start doing too much.
167
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,321
Since when do I do too much?
168
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,866
Uh, Moonlight Girls selling cookies
on your block.
169
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,370
(upbeat hip-hop music plays)
170
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,048
(girls scream)
171
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,179
You know what?
I really cleaned up that day.
172
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,182
But I'm telling you,
I did not make that meme.
173
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:14,934
Wait.
174
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,437
Y'all don't think that Sonia thinks
I made the meme, do you?
175
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,397
(cell phone chimes)
176
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,775
ARI: Yeah, I do.
177
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,611
"Paris when she sees her reflection"?
178
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,655
(both laugh)
179
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,158
SIMONE: Girl, you know that. She gotcha.
180
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,122
(cell phone chimes)
181
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,374
BOTH: Oh.
182
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,042
Oh!
183
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,711
Oh!
184
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,254
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
185
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,882
Sonia done lost her meme-making mind!
186
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,470
This means war.
187
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,930
Okay. Right here.
188
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,808
(inaudible chatter)
189
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,521
(all laugh)
190
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,524
-Ooh!
-Ooh!
191
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,650
Guess we sent it.
192
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,325
(upbeat music playing)
193
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,076
DEREK: Good job, man.
We're gonna get better next time.
194
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,704
-I know.
-Oh, don't sweat it. Are you still...
195
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,915
-(chuckles) Sup, Dad?
-Mr. Johnson.
196
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,666
Hey, guys. Out there hoopin', huh?
197
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,628
Oh, yeah. I had to school Derek
in a game of HORSE.
198
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:25,546
(sighs) Now I'm thirsty like one.
199
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,798
LONDON: What?
200
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:28,925
-Dad?
-CAL: Hm?
201
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,218
The ice maker ain't working.
202
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,470
Oh, yeah, I know. I disconnected it.
203
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,805
I got rid of all ice-making technology.
204
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,141
-What?
-You're gonna have to make your own.
205
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,392
Make our own what?
206
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,978
Ice. Make your own ice.
207
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,271
-You can do that?
-Yeah.
208
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,731
Yeah, the ice maker is in the box.
209
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:45,399
What?
210
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,779
Nah. Ain't nothin' in this box
but this old...
211
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,656
bear trap.
212
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:55,034
(chuckles) Boy, you crazy.
Look, that is an ice tray, Derek.
213
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,494
Okay, sure.
214
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,080
Looks like some sort of torture tool.
215
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,791
Where does the ice even go in?
216
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,793
You know, I would love to stay and chat
217
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,294
with you brilliant, young souls,
218
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,172
but this old man needs an old nap.
219
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,466
(chuckles) Have fun, smart guys.
220
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,386
What do we even do with this thing?
221
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,263
Man, I don't... I don't...
222
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,639
Ow!
223
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,558
Man!
224
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,059
Put it down. Put it down!
225
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,103
Let's just go to my house for some ice.
226
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,896
Your father's trying to kill us.
227
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,899
ARI: Hey! Hey!
228
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,526
DUCHESS (OVER PA): Paris Johnson,
229
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,361
may I see you in my office, please?
230
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,612
Thank you, love.
231
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,947
(in British accent) "Love"?
232
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,615
Well, hear, hear!
233
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,743
A summons from
the great Lady Duchess, I see.
234
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,328
(in British accent) Yes!
Perhaps she's inviting you
235
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,914
for a spot of tea
or something of that sort.
236
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,543
(in British accent) 'Tis possible,
and if so, I shall indulge.
237
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,044
Ta-ta for now, ladies!
238
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,297
Ta-ta!
239
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,218
Greetings, your Duchessness.
240
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:58,222
Shall I curtsy before our tea party?
241
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,266
(laughs)
242
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:03,894
(in normal accent)
This ain't a tea party, is it?
243
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,398
(phone ringing)
244
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,025
Hmm.
245
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,484
You wanna answer that?
246
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,153
Without caller ID?
247
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,321
No.
248
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,197
It's probably Mr. Randolph
snitching to the parents
249
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,532
that I blew up his lab yesterday.
250
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,992
You look better without eyebrows anyway.
251
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,994
-Man, I been sayin'. For real!
-Mm.
252
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,120
It's true.
253
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,705
(sighs) This thing...
254
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,540
Mm.
255
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,876
(banging in rhythm)
256
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,002
Mmm.
257
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,296
-Mm!
-Wassup?
258
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,380
-Mm!
-All right, let me put
259
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,673
a little keypad in it.
260
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,050
-Okay, hop on there.
-Yeah.
261
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,718
(beeping)
262
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,136
-Oh!
-Yeah!
263
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,220
-That's nasty!
-Hey, hey, hey.
264
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,305
What are y'all doing?
265
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,182
Yo, Dad, good lookin' out.
266
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,893
I think we might have found a banger
with all this old stuff you gave us.
267
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,645
-DEREK: Mr. Johnson, listen, listen.
-LONDON: Okay, watch.
268
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,189
-(beatboxing)
-Uh!
269
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,191
-Yeah!
-(fax machine beeping)
270
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,276
-LONDON: That's right. Here we go.
-CAL: Listen.
271
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,446
See how you do that? Yeah!
272
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,031
-No, no, that's not what you--
-Uh!
273
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,449
-Boys...
-Hold on. Now, wait.
274
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,493
-Listen, this is the trap version.
-Yeah.
275
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,495
-(beatboxing)
-Yeah!
276
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,538
-They got it good.
-Yeah, they sure did!
277
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,915
(laughs)
278
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,626
Now, girls, I've been observing
your meme war.
279
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,045
And I must say,
there's been some creative shade
280
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,713
being thrown by the both of you.
281
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,964
BOTH: Thank you.
282
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,175
But I feel I must intervene.
283
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,220
Because when the Duchess becomes a meme...
284
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,849
(hip-hop music plays)
285
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:28,979
(both chuckle)
286
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,648
...there's a problem.
287
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,027
And you two do know what I do to people
that give me problems at Saturdays.
288
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,112
BOTH: No.
289
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,907
(sinister music plays)
290
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,992
-Shut...
-Up!
291
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,077
I'm telling you.
292
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,997
She had dozens of those little
shrunken people heads captured on video.
293
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,875
She said that those were the skaters
who dissed her over the years.
294
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,629
Wow. I mean, Duchess is about that life.
295
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,214
Yeah, that "after life."
296
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,842
Wait, so what is up with Sonia?
297
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,343
Is she willing to stop
all this meme madness
298
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,886
for the sake of us
not getting our heads shrunk?
299
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,056
For real! Like, girls,
I love the size of my head.
300
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,933
It's very well proportioned.
301
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,227
I don't know.
She still seemed pretty heated.
302
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,937
Guess we'll just have to see.
303
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,147
Ooh, skates.
304
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,900
We-B.
305
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:16,861
ALL: Iris.
306
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,532
Anyway, this whole meme war
has gotten out of hand.
307
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:25,119
I know. I wish I could just get my--
my little hands, these little whangs,
308
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,912
on the person who started this thing.
309
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,414
It's a jerk move!
310
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:31,250
For your info, Ivan is not a jerk.
311
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,378
I never said Ivan was a jerk, Iris.
312
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,963
No, but you said...
313
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,340
Uh, never mind.
314
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,051
Yeah. Ivan's not a jerk.
315
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,762
He's just not that smart.
316
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,472
At least not smart enough to orchestrate
317
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,641
a whole meme war
between us and 2-Cute-4-U.
318
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,560
-You're right.
-Then you don't know Ivan very well,
319
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,521
because he is brilliant. A genius.
320
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,940
And he could've easily created these memes
321
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,901
to make you and 2-Cute-4-U hate
one another
322
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,153
to give us an edge
in the Golden Skate Competition.
323
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,946
He could do it in his sleep.
324
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,907
Well, he didn't do it in his sleep
325
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,909
because he's afraid of the dark
and scary movies.
326
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,536
Which is why he still sucks his thumb
and sleeps with a night light on.
327
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:13,042
You girls really should stop
standing around
328
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,752
gossiping about people all day.
329
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:17,588
It's so... middle school.
330
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,174
-(growls)
-"Middle school."
331
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,301
ARI: So...
332
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,428
he sleeps with a night light.
333
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,140
The night light, I could see past that.
334
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,767
But the thumb sucking?
335
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,311
Mm-mm. That might be a deal breaker.
336
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:35,689
I guess it's pretty clear
who started all this meme nonsense.
337
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,278
Ivan. That boy's got my whangs up.
338
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,446
What are we gonna do?
339
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,281
Oh, I have some ideas.
340
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:48,452
And I assure you
that Ivan "The Incredible" Baker
341
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,539
is going to be dealt with
in a very real way.
342
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,542
(gasps)
343
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,836
(scatting)
344
00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,548
Those were the same fingers
that typed those nasty memes.
345
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,383
When the music starts,
you guys have to roll out with me.
346
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,426
-How are we supposed to know?
-(scatting)
347
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,513
(all scatting)
348
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,185
Now, Derek, you put hot sauce on what?
349
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,311
Cereal, man.
350
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,730
Spicy and sweet, okay?
351
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,941
Yeah. (chuckles)
352
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,693
Oh, what's up, Dad?
353
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,862
We're going to the store.
You need anything?
354
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,530
No, no, I'm good, I'm good. But check it.
355
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,283
I'm going to teach you boys
the art of changing a flat tire.
356
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,451
Why?
357
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,578
This can't wait till we get back?
358
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,745
CAL: Oh, no, it cannot.
359
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,748
What if you catch a flat
from here to the store, huh?
360
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,834
Uh, then we would just call
roadside assistance.
361
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,085
It comes with the car nowadays.
362
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,213
What if the roadside assistance button
in your car ain't working?
363
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,966
Then we'll just call you,
Big Dawg. Come on.
364
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,968
Guess what? Big Dawg ain't coming.
365
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,305
I'd learn to change a tire
if I were you two.
366
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,433
Uh, but, Dad, don't you need a flat tire
in order to change one?
367
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,269
-(air hissing)
-BOTH: Oh!
368
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,187
You mean like that flat tire?
369
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,647
I didn't see that coming.
370
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,774
Come on, let the old man show you
how it's done.
371
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,026
It'll only take a minute.
372
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,194
(straining)
373
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,615
(panting) Yeah, just-- just a minute.
I almost got it.
374
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,325
I almost got it.
Just-- just a little bit. Just...
375
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,160
(straining)
376
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,828
That's your dad.
377
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,580
I know!
378
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,957
DEB: And... voila!
379
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375
See that? (grunts)
380
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,170
So, remember, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
381
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,005
Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
382
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,966
All right? You want to work smart,
not hard.
383
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,468
That's how your momma get down.
384
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:28,761
Yeah, I loosened that for you.
385
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,095
DEB: Mm-hmm.
386
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,889
Y'all call me if you need anything else.
387
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,641
All right? I do brakes,
engines, compressors.
388
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,060
Oh, and I also rebuild transmissions.
389
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:37,186
Bet you didn't know that.
390
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,229
-Mm. (grunts)
-DEB: Yeah.
391
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,689
Get that little grease off your chin.
392
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,900
-Bye, Mom.
-DEB: Bye, baby!
393
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,986
Anyway, as the wife just proved,
394
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,947
sometimes you gotta get
your hands dirty, huh?
395
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,448
Not look for the easy way out.
396
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,283
Wi-Fi, GPS, roadside service.
397
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,119
Those are luxuries, all right?
Not necessities.
398
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,663
Now let me show you
how to put the spare on.
399
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,164
Uh, actually--
Uh, Dad, actually, that's okay.
400
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,999
I think we're going to just walk
to the store.
401
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,584
-Yeah, I need to get my steps in.
-(chuckles) Yeah.
402
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,711
Nonsense. It'll only take a second.
403
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,422
Wait... Oh!
404
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:06,507
-(brakes screech)
-Ahh!
405
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,675
-(loud crash)
-(object clatters)
406
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,802
Ooh! My bad, Ron!
407
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,720
I bet Mr. Ron calls roadside assistance.
408
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,098
Or your mom's.
I wonder if she does body work.
409
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:15,182
CAL: Sorry, Ron!
410
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:20,646
Hey, Sonia. Headed home
to make another meme about me?
411
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,898
Actually, yes. But you know what?
412
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,275
This time, I'm gonna make one
about your moms.
413
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,819
Oh, so it's like that?
414
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:30,197
Yeah, it's just like that,
We-B-a-waste-of-my-time.
415
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,074
Okay, 2-Cute-4-Nobody.
416
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,952
No, how about we just put
an end to all of this?
417
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,245
Let's battle it out.
418
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,454
Sounds good to me.
419
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,249
Next Saturday morning, here,
before the session starts.
420
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:43,252
Loser drops out
of the Golden Skate Competition.
421
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,212
(scoffs) Let me think about it.
422
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,965
-Bet.
-Bet.
423
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,676
-Well, there it is.
-Well, there it was.
424
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,220
That doesn't even make any sense.
425
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,430
So what?
426
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,937
(chuckles) Oh, and I'll be there.
427
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,069
-Hey, Ruby.
-RUBY: Yes, Cal?
428
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,946
Play something not old.
429
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,115
-RUBY: My pleasure, handsome.
-Mm.
430
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,576
-(soft music plays)
-Hmm. (chuckles)
431
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,746
-"My pleasure, handsome."
-(both laugh)
432
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,664
I see someone gave in to Ruby.
433
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,750
Put everything back to normal?
434
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,502
Yeah. I figured if you can't beat 'em,
ice a cake.
435
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,628
Oh.
436
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:27,838
Look at my big man.
437
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,549
Look, being conventional
doesn't mean I'm old.
438
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,845
But hearing the kids say that,
I don't know,
439
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:38,140
made me feel like, one day,
they won't need me anymore.
440
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,683
Like, I'll be obsolete.
441
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,436
Listen, you can never be obsolete.
442
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,938
All right? I don't care
how tech-savvy these kids get.
443
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:48,442
They are always going to need
their father.
444
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,320
No, those kids won't be able
to survive without us.
445
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,363
Especially the boy. He struggles.
446
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,782
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
447
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,116
-Sup, parents?
-DEB: Hey.
448
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,410
Where are you two off to
this early in the morning?
449
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,703
She asked me to take her to Saturdays.
450
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,414
Yep. And thanks, Dad,
for restoring the Wi-Fi.
451
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,250
I promise to only cut down
my social media presence to...
452
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:09,171
15-- No, I'll be nice. 14 hours a day.
453
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,380
It's a start.
454
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,216
-A very small one, but it's a start.
-Mm.
455
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,676
Oh, I also left you a little
something-something in the freezer.
456
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:16,845
You're welcome.
457
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,473
-Hmm?
-What is it?
458
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,391
-What is it?
-I don't know.
459
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,686
(gasps) Wha...
460
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,314
-What?
-He made ice!
461
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:28,732
-Oh!
-(laughs)
462
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,359
That's what he left you?
463
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,694
Look how perfect it is.
464
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,196
-Oh.
-That's our boy.
465
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,365
-Oh, yeah. Higher learning.
-That's our boy!
466
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:43,205
(adventurous music playing)
467
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,588
-Hey, Curly Top.
-Oh!
468
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:52,673
What you doing here?
469
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:53,924
Mr. Perry. (chuckles)
470
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,592
How you, uh, how you doing?
471
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,095
I was looking for 2-Cute-4-U
and We-B-Girlz.
472
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,179
You know, they were supposed to, uh--
473
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,098
Supposed to be doing that battlin', right?
474
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,893
Well, Duchess got wind of all of that
and give them the boot.
475
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,145
Hey...
476
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,648
Banning them from coming to Saturdays
for the rest of the year.
477
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,233
What? Are you serious?
478
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,068
No, I'm lying. (laughs)
479
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,695
I'm just being dramatic.
480
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,281
-What...
-Acting is in the blood. (chuckles)
481
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,283
-Okay.
-Look here.
482
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,994
-Uh, Curly Top, look.
-Yeah?
483
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,663
While you're here,
do old Mr. Perry a favor.
484
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:26,790
-Yeah.
-Run those cones out there
485
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,500
to the middle of the ring for me?
486
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,086
Uh, I'm feeling a little lightheaded.
487
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,629
I might even pass out.
488
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,506
You okay, Mr. Perry?
No, I-- I got you, man.
489
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,967
-No! I'm lyin' again, boy.
-Man!
490
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,677
I told you I like being dramatic.
491
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,387
Now go on out there. (chuckles)
492
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,140
(chuckles)
493
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,271
(exhales)
494
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,195
Mr. Perry?
495
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,322
Mr. Perry?
496
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:01,033
Is anybody there? Hello?
497
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,286
(electronic music plays)
498
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,830
What's happening? Hello?
499
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,128
(gasps)
500
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,380
(loud music plays)
501
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,632
(Ivan gasps)
502
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,180
(moans)
503
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,644
(loud music continues)
504
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,862
(gasps)
505
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:43,325
(gasping continues)
506
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,452
(whimpers)
507
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,344
(laughter)
508
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,596
(Ivan whimpering)
509
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:08,225
To post or not to post.
That is the question.
510
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,893
And it's a very good question.
511
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,228
No, no, no. You can't post this.
512
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,813
You can't post this, okay?
513
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,439
Listen, I-- I was wrong, okay?
514
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,941
I was wrong, right?
I should have never made
515
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,192
those memes about you guys.
516
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,278
You know, try to make you turn
against one another.
517
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:22,614
Okay? And don't take it personal
because it was a joke.
518
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,740
It was a joke.
519
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:26,743
Simone. Simone, please.
520
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:28,620
Simone.
521
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:29,830
PARIS: You know what, Ivan?
522
00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,040
Instead of turning you into a GIF,
523
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,001
we're going to give you a gift.
524
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,669
No posting.
525
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,840
Because like my Auntie Joyce always says,
526
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,592
"You don't have to act a fool
to beat one."
527
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,720
But if you come for us again...
528
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,765
IVAN: Okay! Okay, okay, okay! Ahh!
529
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:51,643
What?
530
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,771
What was that?
531
00:21:58,650 --> 00:21:59,735
Okay.
532
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,654
Yeah. Uh-huh.
533
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,449
Oh, yeah. I got something for them.
534
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,494
(whimpers) Mama!
535
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,289
(hip-hop music plays)
536
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:13,999
♪ Riding out the house, like whoo ♪
537
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,334
♪ Ready for the judge ♪
538
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,961
♪ What we're about to doWhat has to be done ♪
539
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,297
♪ Watch you skating down the boulevard ♪
540
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,923
♪ Fast cars, kicking down bars ♪
541
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,842
♪ Ain't no crew that's running like ours ♪
542
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:27,596
♪ Monday through FridayGot us like, "Man" ♪
543
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:30,557
♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪
544
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,352
♪ All we do is celebrate ♪
545
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:35,729
♪ We got everything that we need ♪
546
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:39,316
♪ 'Cause there ain't no other dayLike Saturday ♪
547
00:22:39,366 --> 00:22:43,916
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