All language subtitles for Saturdays s01e04 Why Are You So Meme.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,378 Happy Saturday! 2 00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:07,215 Or should I say, Satur-Hair Day! 3 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,718 When I'm not at Saturdays on Saturdays, 4 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,220 I'm usually here once a month getting my hair did. 5 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:15,432 Jeannette's Beauty Bar on the South Side of Chicago. 6 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,183 That's Jeannette. 7 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,562 Keeper of my crown and stylist extraordinaire. 8 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,691 She's a little wild with the water, but it's fine. 9 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,360 I stay hydrated. (gasps) 10 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,904 Despite Jeannette's heavy handedness, 11 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,908 she hooks your girl up with the most original of styles. 12 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,662 Mm-mm. Don't laugh at the shrinkage. 13 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,289 It's a sign of healthy hair. 14 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:42,208 Plus, in a minute, you won't even recognize me. 15 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,671 Cute, huh? I'm telling you, ain't nobody in Saturdays 16 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,548 rockin' a 'do like mine. 17 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,133 -(chuckles) Right? -Mm-hmm. 18 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,219 Why is Sonia Little rockin' a 'do like mine? 19 00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,223 I don't know. Did you tip Jeannette? 20 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,349 No. 21 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,851 Maybe you should've. 22 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,856 Yeah, I see that now. 23 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:07,233 (hip-hop music plays) 24 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,488 ♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪ 25 00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,365 ♪ All we do is celebrate ♪ 26 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,869 ♪ As long as I got fun, family And friends ♪ 27 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,996 ♪ I got everything that I need ♪ 28 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,791 ♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪ 29 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,585 ♪ We ain't got no time to waste ♪ 30 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:29,380 ♪ No work, all play, no stress ♪ 31 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,091 ♪ We got everything that we need ♪ 32 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,219 ♪ 'Cause there ain't no other day Like Saturday ♪ 33 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,472 (indistinct chatter) 34 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,686 I can't believe Sonia's over there rockin' my style. 35 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,565 Here they come. Here they come. 36 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,029 We-B-Girlz. 37 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,531 2-Cute-4-U. 38 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,413 Nice 'do. 39 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,499 Likewise. 40 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,584 Jeannette? 41 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,253 Mm-hmm. 42 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,926 Cool. 43 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,095 Cool. 44 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,181 (music intensifies) 45 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,766 (music ends) 46 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,562 That's it? Really? 47 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,397 No-- no fighting? No hair pulling? 48 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,691 No off-colored remarks about each other's mothers? 49 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,985 Yeah. You know, a good "yo mama joke" goes a long way. 50 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,361 -FRED: For real. -(laughs) Yes. 51 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,406 Ivan, why don't you just stop being so beautiful? 52 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,908 (scoffs) Simone, could you please refrain 53 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,327 from showering Ivan with your unwavering admiration? 54 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,787 It only tends to embarrass him 55 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,081 seeing as he feels the same way about you as well. 56 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,833 Iris, stop talking! 57 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,045 (squeals) 58 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,339 Oh! I knew I'd wear him down. 59 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,966 I knew it! Thank you! 60 00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:58,219 That stare-down with Sonia was kind of intense. 61 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,013 Don't worry, girl, we have your back. 62 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,433 Trust me. They didn't want to see me come out of these wings. 63 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,144 They didn't want this fairy dust, okay, girls? 64 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,563 Girls? Girls! 65 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,148 Come-- come here! Listen... 66 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,401 (beeping) 67 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,657 Cal, you still haven't figured that thing out yet? 68 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,868 My true crime doc is about to come on. 69 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,037 Ooh-hoo-hoo! Let me tell you something. 70 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,206 This thing bongs at me one more time, 71 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,624 the only true crime is gonna be 72 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:28,958 whoever it hits when I throw it out the window! 73 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,586 Well, if it's this difficult programming a Smart TV, 74 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:34,005 maybe we should've just stuck with the dumb one. 75 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,757 (sighs) London, just in time. 76 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,300 Help your father with this TV. 77 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,135 -Again? -Yes. 78 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,388 Dad, I've shown you how to do this, like, a thousand times. 79 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,598 Two thousand times. 80 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:44,933 He's just trying to spare your feelings. 81 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,643 Okay, here, make it 2,001. Go on. 82 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,852 -What? -Come on, let me see. 83 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,314 -What? -Ruby. 84 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,025 Turn on the TV. 85 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,361 RUBY: Of course, London. My pleasure. 86 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,779 (TV chimes) 87 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,240 Will there be anything else? 88 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,324 (chuckles) 89 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,867 Uh, no, Ruby. Thank you. 90 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,285 RUBY: No. Thank you. 91 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,204 Mm. You hear that? "Thank you." 92 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,539 Now, how hard was that? 93 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,791 It wasn't hard at all. 94 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,042 You know what the problem is? 95 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,044 You kids are too dependent on technology. 96 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,379 You don't have to think for yourselves. 97 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,422 Got your little search engines to do it for you. 98 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,800 Back in my day, our search engine 99 00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,302 was a 20-pound encyclopedia that doubled as a coffee table. 100 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,304 But-- Okay. Well, Dad, you know what your problem is? 101 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,139 -Hm. -You're getting old. 102 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,724 -DEB: Mm. -Old and outdated. (laughs) 103 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,811 Ruby, what's another word for "old and outdated"? 104 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,272 RUBY: That's easy. Cal Johnson. 105 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,482 (all laugh) 106 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,694 DEB: Ha-ha! 107 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,654 I'm old, huh? 108 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,239 I'm not that old. (chuckles) 109 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,615 RUBY: You sure about that, Cal? 110 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,033 Ooh! (groans) 111 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,243 You're lucky you're expensive. 112 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,624 (grunts) 113 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,169 Ruby, turn on the lights. 114 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,550 Ruby, baby, turn on the lights 115 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,635 and play my morning Pretty Boy mix. 116 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,263 Ruby! 117 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,099 You know you hear me, girl. Turn on the lights! 118 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,726 Quit playin' with me! 119 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:11,936 -No Ruby? -Nope. 120 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,230 -No Wi-Fi? -No Ruby? 121 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,024 Nope. Got rid of both. 122 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,150 But, Dad, why? 123 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,152 Mom, why aren't you saying anything about this? 124 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,403 Well, because your dad bought me a hot spot. 125 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,863 Okay, he may be mad, but he ain't crazy. 126 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,990 Removing Wi-Fi and Internet access 127 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,908 has to be a form of child endangerment. 128 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:26,993 (scoffs) 129 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,870 The only thing endangered here are your minds. 130 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,038 So, from now on, 131 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,373 the Johnson family are strictly analog. 132 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,000 (chimes) 133 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,168 What is that? 134 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:37,337 -That is a telephone. -Mm. 135 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,921 A landline. 136 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,840 Alexander Graham Bell ring a bell? 137 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,759 -BOTH: No. -What? 138 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,261 And to think we sent you to private school. 139 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,638 Uh, if you need to send an email, 140 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,683 send a fax instead. 141 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,977 -Facts about what? -No, a fax. 142 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,729 Facts about what? He's asking. 143 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,357 -Wow. -Okay, let's just stop here. 144 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,025 -Trying to explain these two-way pagers... -It's, um... 145 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,109 ...might just kill 'em. 146 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,736 BOTH: What is that? 147 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,822 (upbeat music playing) 148 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,036 Paris, my girl. 149 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,120 Our girl. 150 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,747 Girl, you went out there 151 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,583 and you start throwin' bolos. Like, wham! Wham! Wham! 152 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,960 -(chuckles) Wham! Wham! -Yes. 153 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,045 Wham-Wham, what? 154 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,797 Girl, come on, you know! 155 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,799 The meme, girl. The meme. 156 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:23,966 (laughs) 157 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,719 That is funny, okay? 158 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,680 Kinda rude. But more funny than rude. 159 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,099 (chuckles) Who made it? 160 00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,643 @ChitownFrenchGirl? 161 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,062 I mean, it's kind of obvious, Paris, that you made it. 162 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,147 I didn't make that. 163 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,524 Paris, it's okay. 164 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:40,858 We all know how you get 165 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,527 when you start feeling a little threatened. 166 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,945 You start doing too much. 167 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,321 Since when do I do too much? 168 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,866 Uh, Moonlight Girls selling cookies on your block. 169 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,370 (upbeat hip-hop music plays) 170 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,048 (girls scream) 171 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,179 You know what? I really cleaned up that day. 172 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,182 But I'm telling you, I did not make that meme. 173 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:14,934 Wait. 174 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,437 Y'all don't think that Sonia thinks I made the meme, do you? 175 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,397 (cell phone chimes) 176 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,775 ARI: Yeah, I do. 177 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,611 "Paris when she sees her reflection"? 178 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,655 (both laugh) 179 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,158 SIMONE: Girl, you know that. She gotcha. 180 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,122 (cell phone chimes) 181 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,374 BOTH: Oh. 182 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,042 Oh! 183 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,711 Oh! 184 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,254 Oh, okay, okay, okay. 185 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,882 Sonia done lost her meme-making mind! 186 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,470 This means war. 187 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,930 Okay. Right here. 188 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,808 (inaudible chatter) 189 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,521 (all laugh) 190 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,524 -Ooh! -Ooh! 191 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,650 Guess we sent it. 192 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,325 (upbeat music playing) 193 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,076 DEREK: Good job, man. We're gonna get better next time. 194 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,704 -I know. -Oh, don't sweat it. Are you still... 195 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,915 -(chuckles) Sup, Dad? -Mr. Johnson. 196 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,666 Hey, guys. Out there hoopin', huh? 197 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,628 Oh, yeah. I had to school Derek in a game of HORSE. 198 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:25,546 (sighs) Now I'm thirsty like one. 199 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,798 LONDON: What? 200 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:28,925 -Dad? -CAL: Hm? 201 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,218 The ice maker ain't working. 202 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,470 Oh, yeah, I know. I disconnected it. 203 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,805 I got rid of all ice-making technology. 204 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,141 -What? -You're gonna have to make your own. 205 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,392 Make our own what? 206 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,978 Ice. Make your own ice. 207 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,271 -You can do that? -Yeah. 208 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,731 Yeah, the ice maker is in the box. 209 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:45,399 What? 210 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,779 Nah. Ain't nothin' in this box but this old... 211 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,656 bear trap. 212 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:55,034 (chuckles) Boy, you crazy. Look, that is an ice tray, Derek. 213 00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,494 Okay, sure. 214 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,080 Looks like some sort of torture tool. 215 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,791 Where does the ice even go in? 216 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,793 You know, I would love to stay and chat 217 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,294 with you brilliant, young souls, 218 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,172 but this old man needs an old nap. 219 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,466 (chuckles) Have fun, smart guys. 220 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,386 What do we even do with this thing? 221 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,263 Man, I don't... I don't... 222 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,639 Ow! 223 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,558 Man! 224 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,059 Put it down. Put it down! 225 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,103 Let's just go to my house for some ice. 226 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,896 Your father's trying to kill us. 227 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,899 ARI: Hey! Hey! 228 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,526 DUCHESS (OVER PA): Paris Johnson, 229 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,361 may I see you in my office, please? 230 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,612 Thank you, love. 231 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,947 (in British accent) "Love"? 232 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,615 Well, hear, hear! 233 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,743 A summons from the great Lady Duchess, I see. 234 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,328 (in British accent) Yes! Perhaps she's inviting you 235 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,914 for a spot of tea or something of that sort. 236 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,543 (in British accent) 'Tis possible, and if so, I shall indulge. 237 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,044 Ta-ta for now, ladies! 238 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,297 Ta-ta! 239 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,218 Greetings, your Duchessness. 240 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:58,222 Shall I curtsy before our tea party? 241 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,266 (laughs) 242 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:03,894 (in normal accent) This ain't a tea party, is it? 243 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,398 (phone ringing) 244 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,025 Hmm. 245 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,484 You wanna answer that? 246 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,153 Without caller ID? 247 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,321 No. 248 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,197 It's probably Mr. Randolph snitching to the parents 249 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,532 that I blew up his lab yesterday. 250 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,992 You look better without eyebrows anyway. 251 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,994 -Man, I been sayin'. For real! -Mm. 252 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,120 It's true. 253 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,705 (sighs) This thing... 254 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,540 Mm. 255 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,876 (banging in rhythm) 256 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,002 Mmm. 257 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,296 -Mm! -Wassup? 258 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,380 -Mm! -All right, let me put 259 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,673 a little keypad in it. 260 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,050 -Okay, hop on there. -Yeah. 261 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,718 (beeping) 262 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,136 -Oh! -Yeah! 263 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,220 -That's nasty! -Hey, hey, hey. 264 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,305 What are y'all doing? 265 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,182 Yo, Dad, good lookin' out. 266 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,893 I think we might have found a banger with all this old stuff you gave us. 267 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,645 -DEREK: Mr. Johnson, listen, listen. -LONDON: Okay, watch. 268 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,189 -(beatboxing) -Uh! 269 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,191 -Yeah! -(fax machine beeping) 270 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,276 -LONDON: That's right. Here we go. -CAL: Listen. 271 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,446 See how you do that? Yeah! 272 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,031 -No, no, that's not what you-- -Uh! 273 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,449 -Boys... -Hold on. Now, wait. 274 00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,493 -Listen, this is the trap version. -Yeah. 275 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,495 -(beatboxing) -Yeah! 276 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,538 -They got it good. -Yeah, they sure did! 277 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,915 (laughs) 278 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,626 Now, girls, I've been observing your meme war. 279 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,045 And I must say, there's been some creative shade 280 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,713 being thrown by the both of you. 281 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,964 BOTH: Thank you. 282 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,175 But I feel I must intervene. 283 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,220 Because when the Duchess becomes a meme... 284 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,849 (hip-hop music plays) 285 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:28,979 (both chuckle) 286 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,648 ...there's a problem. 287 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,027 And you two do know what I do to people that give me problems at Saturdays. 288 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,112 BOTH: No. 289 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,907 (sinister music plays) 290 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,992 -Shut... -Up! 291 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,077 I'm telling you. 292 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,997 She had dozens of those little shrunken people heads captured on video. 293 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,875 She said that those were the skaters who dissed her over the years. 294 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,629 Wow. I mean, Duchess is about that life. 295 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,214 Yeah, that "after life." 296 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,842 Wait, so what is up with Sonia? 297 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,343 Is she willing to stop all this meme madness 298 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,886 for the sake of us not getting our heads shrunk? 299 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,056 For real! Like, girls, I love the size of my head. 300 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,933 It's very well proportioned. 301 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,227 I don't know. She still seemed pretty heated. 302 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,937 Guess we'll just have to see. 303 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,147 Ooh, skates. 304 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,900 We-B. 305 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:16,861 ALL: Iris. 306 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,532 Anyway, this whole meme war has gotten out of hand. 307 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:25,119 I know. I wish I could just get my-- my little hands, these little whangs, 308 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,912 on the person who started this thing. 309 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,414 It's a jerk move! 310 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:31,250 For your info, Ivan is not a jerk. 311 00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,378 I never said Ivan was a jerk, Iris. 312 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,963 No, but you said... 313 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,340 Uh, never mind. 314 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,051 Yeah. Ivan's not a jerk. 315 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,762 He's just not that smart. 316 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,472 At least not smart enough to orchestrate 317 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,641 a whole meme war between us and 2-Cute-4-U. 318 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,560 -You're right. -Then you don't know Ivan very well, 319 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,521 because he is brilliant. A genius. 320 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,940 And he could've easily created these memes 321 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,901 to make you and 2-Cute-4-U hate one another 322 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,153 to give us an edge in the Golden Skate Competition. 323 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,946 He could do it in his sleep. 324 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,907 Well, he didn't do it in his sleep 325 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,909 because he's afraid of the dark and scary movies. 326 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,536 Which is why he still sucks his thumb and sleeps with a night light on. 327 00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:13,042 You girls really should stop standing around 328 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,752 gossiping about people all day. 329 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:17,588 It's so... middle school. 330 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,174 -(growls) -"Middle school." 331 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,301 ARI: So... 332 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,428 he sleeps with a night light. 333 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,140 The night light, I could see past that. 334 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,767 But the thumb sucking? 335 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,311 Mm-mm. That might be a deal breaker. 336 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:35,689 I guess it's pretty clear who started all this meme nonsense. 337 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,278 Ivan. That boy's got my whangs up. 338 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,446 What are we gonna do? 339 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,281 Oh, I have some ideas. 340 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:48,452 And I assure you that Ivan "The Incredible" Baker 341 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,539 is going to be dealt with in a very real way. 342 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,542 (gasps) 343 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,836 (scatting) 344 00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,548 Those were the same fingers that typed those nasty memes. 345 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,383 When the music starts, you guys have to roll out with me. 346 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,426 -How are we supposed to know? -(scatting) 347 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,513 (all scatting) 348 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,185 Now, Derek, you put hot sauce on what? 349 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,311 Cereal, man. 350 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,730 Spicy and sweet, okay? 351 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,941 Yeah. (chuckles) 352 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,693 Oh, what's up, Dad? 353 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,862 We're going to the store. You need anything? 354 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,530 No, no, I'm good, I'm good. But check it. 355 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,283 I'm going to teach you boys the art of changing a flat tire. 356 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,451 Why? 357 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,578 This can't wait till we get back? 358 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,745 CAL: Oh, no, it cannot. 359 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,748 What if you catch a flat from here to the store, huh? 360 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,834 Uh, then we would just call roadside assistance. 361 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,085 It comes with the car nowadays. 362 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,213 What if the roadside assistance button in your car ain't working? 363 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,966 Then we'll just call you, Big Dawg. Come on. 364 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,968 Guess what? Big Dawg ain't coming. 365 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,305 I'd learn to change a tire if I were you two. 366 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,433 Uh, but, Dad, don't you need a flat tire in order to change one? 367 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,269 -(air hissing) -BOTH: Oh! 368 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,187 You mean like that flat tire? 369 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,647 I didn't see that coming. 370 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,774 Come on, let the old man show you how it's done. 371 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,026 It'll only take a minute. 372 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,194 (straining) 373 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,615 (panting) Yeah, just-- just a minute. I almost got it. 374 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,325 I almost got it. Just-- just a little bit. Just... 375 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,160 (straining) 376 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,828 That's your dad. 377 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,580 I know! 378 00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,957 DEB: And... voila! 379 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375 See that? (grunts) 380 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,170 So, remember, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. 381 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,005 Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. 382 00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,966 All right? You want to work smart, not hard. 383 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,468 That's how your momma get down. 384 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:28,761 Yeah, I loosened that for you. 385 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,095 DEB: Mm-hmm. 386 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,889 Y'all call me if you need anything else. 387 00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,641 All right? I do brakes, engines, compressors. 388 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,060 Oh, and I also rebuild transmissions. 389 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:37,186 Bet you didn't know that. 390 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,229 -Mm. (grunts) -DEB: Yeah. 391 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,689 Get that little grease off your chin. 392 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,900 -Bye, Mom. -DEB: Bye, baby! 393 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,986 Anyway, as the wife just proved, 394 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,947 sometimes you gotta get your hands dirty, huh? 395 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,448 Not look for the easy way out. 396 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,283 Wi-Fi, GPS, roadside service. 397 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,119 Those are luxuries, all right? Not necessities. 398 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,663 Now let me show you how to put the spare on. 399 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,164 Uh, actually-- Uh, Dad, actually, that's okay. 400 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,999 I think we're going to just walk to the store. 401 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,584 -Yeah, I need to get my steps in. -(chuckles) Yeah. 402 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,711 Nonsense. It'll only take a second. 403 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,422 Wait... Oh! 404 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:06,507 -(brakes screech) -Ahh! 405 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,675 -(loud crash) -(object clatters) 406 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,802 Ooh! My bad, Ron! 407 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,720 I bet Mr. Ron calls roadside assistance. 408 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,098 Or your mom's. I wonder if she does body work. 409 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:15,182 CAL: Sorry, Ron! 410 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:20,646 Hey, Sonia. Headed home to make another meme about me? 411 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,898 Actually, yes. But you know what? 412 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,275 This time, I'm gonna make one about your moms. 413 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,819 Oh, so it's like that? 414 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:30,197 Yeah, it's just like that, We-B-a-waste-of-my-time. 415 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,074 Okay, 2-Cute-4-Nobody. 416 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,952 No, how about we just put an end to all of this? 417 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,245 Let's battle it out. 418 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,454 Sounds good to me. 419 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,249 Next Saturday morning, here, before the session starts. 420 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:43,252 Loser drops out of the Golden Skate Competition. 421 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,212 (scoffs) Let me think about it. 422 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,965 -Bet. -Bet. 423 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,676 -Well, there it is. -Well, there it was. 424 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,220 That doesn't even make any sense. 425 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,430 So what? 426 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,937 (chuckles) Oh, and I'll be there. 427 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,069 -Hey, Ruby. -RUBY: Yes, Cal? 428 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,946 Play something not old. 429 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,115 -RUBY: My pleasure, handsome. -Mm. 430 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,576 -(soft music plays) -Hmm. (chuckles) 431 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,746 -"My pleasure, handsome." -(both laugh) 432 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,664 I see someone gave in to Ruby. 433 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,750 Put everything back to normal? 434 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,502 Yeah. I figured if you can't beat 'em, ice a cake. 435 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,628 Oh. 436 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:27,838 Look at my big man. 437 00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,549 Look, being conventional doesn't mean I'm old. 438 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,845 But hearing the kids say that, I don't know, 439 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:38,140 made me feel like, one day, they won't need me anymore. 440 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,683 Like, I'll be obsolete. 441 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,436 Listen, you can never be obsolete. 442 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,938 All right? I don't care how tech-savvy these kids get. 443 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:48,442 They are always going to need their father. 444 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,320 No, those kids won't be able to survive without us. 445 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,363 Especially the boy. He struggles. 446 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,782 -Yeah. -Yeah. 447 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,116 -Sup, parents? -DEB: Hey. 448 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,410 Where are you two off to this early in the morning? 449 00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,703 She asked me to take her to Saturdays. 450 00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,414 Yep. And thanks, Dad, for restoring the Wi-Fi. 451 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,250 I promise to only cut down my social media presence to... 452 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:09,171 15-- No, I'll be nice. 14 hours a day. 453 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,380 It's a start. 454 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,216 -A very small one, but it's a start. -Mm. 455 00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,676 Oh, I also left you a little something-something in the freezer. 456 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:16,845 You're welcome. 457 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,473 -Hmm? -What is it? 458 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,391 -What is it? -I don't know. 459 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,686 (gasps) Wha... 460 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,314 -What? -He made ice! 461 00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:28,732 -Oh! -(laughs) 462 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,359 That's what he left you? 463 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,694 Look how perfect it is. 464 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,196 -Oh. -That's our boy. 465 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,365 -Oh, yeah. Higher learning. -That's our boy! 466 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:43,205 (adventurous music playing) 467 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,588 -Hey, Curly Top. -Oh! 468 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:52,673 What you doing here? 469 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:53,924 Mr. Perry. (chuckles) 470 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,592 How you, uh, how you doing? 471 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,095 I was looking for 2-Cute-4-U and We-B-Girlz. 472 00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,179 You know, they were supposed to, uh-- 473 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,098 Supposed to be doing that battlin', right? 474 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,893 Well, Duchess got wind of all of that and give them the boot. 475 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,145 Hey... 476 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,648 Banning them from coming to Saturdays for the rest of the year. 477 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,233 What? Are you serious? 478 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,068 No, I'm lying. (laughs) 479 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,695 I'm just being dramatic. 480 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,281 -What... -Acting is in the blood. (chuckles) 481 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,283 -Okay. -Look here. 482 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,994 -Uh, Curly Top, look. -Yeah? 483 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,663 While you're here, do old Mr. Perry a favor. 484 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:26,790 -Yeah. -Run those cones out there 485 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,500 to the middle of the ring for me? 486 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,086 Uh, I'm feeling a little lightheaded. 487 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,629 I might even pass out. 488 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,506 You okay, Mr. Perry? No, I-- I got you, man. 489 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,967 -No! I'm lyin' again, boy. -Man! 490 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,677 I told you I like being dramatic. 491 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,387 Now go on out there. (chuckles) 492 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,140 (chuckles) 493 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,271 (exhales) 494 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,195 Mr. Perry? 495 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,322 Mr. Perry? 496 00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:01,033 Is anybody there? Hello? 497 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,286 (electronic music plays) 498 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,830 What's happening? Hello? 499 00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,128 (gasps) 500 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,380 (loud music plays) 501 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,632 (Ivan gasps) 502 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,180 (moans) 503 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,644 (loud music continues) 504 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,862 (gasps) 505 00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:43,325 (gasping continues) 506 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,452 (whimpers) 507 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,344 (laughter) 508 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,596 (Ivan whimpering) 509 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:08,225 To post or not to post. That is the question. 510 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,893 And it's a very good question. 511 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,228 No, no, no. You can't post this. 512 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,813 You can't post this, okay? 513 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,439 Listen, I-- I was wrong, okay? 514 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,941 I was wrong, right? I should have never made 515 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,192 those memes about you guys. 516 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,278 You know, try to make you turn against one another. 517 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:22,614 Okay? And don't take it personal because it was a joke. 518 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,740 It was a joke. 519 00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:26,743 Simone. Simone, please. 520 00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:28,620 Simone. 521 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:29,830 PARIS: You know what, Ivan? 522 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,040 Instead of turning you into a GIF, 523 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,001 we're going to give you a gift. 524 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,669 No posting. 525 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,840 Because like my Auntie Joyce always says, 526 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,592 "You don't have to act a fool to beat one." 527 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,720 But if you come for us again... 528 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,765 IVAN: Okay! Okay, okay, okay! Ahh! 529 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:51,643 What? 530 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,771 What was that? 531 00:21:58,650 --> 00:21:59,735 Okay. 532 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,654 Yeah. Uh-huh. 533 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,449 Oh, yeah. I got something for them. 534 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,494 (whimpers) Mama! 535 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,289 (hip-hop music plays) 536 00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:13,999 ♪ Riding out the house, like whoo ♪ 537 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,334 ♪ Ready for the judge ♪ 538 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,961 ♪ What we're about to do What has to be done ♪ 539 00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,297 ♪ Watch you skating down the boulevard ♪ 540 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,923 ♪ Fast cars, kicking down bars ♪ 541 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,842 ♪ Ain't no crew that's running like ours ♪ 542 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:27,596 ♪ Monday through Friday Got us like, "Man" ♪ 543 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:30,557 ♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪ 544 00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,352 ♪ All we do is celebrate ♪ 545 00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:35,729 ♪ We got everything that we need ♪ 546 00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:39,316 ♪ 'Cause there ain't no other day Like Saturday ♪ 547 00:22:39,366 --> 00:22:43,916 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38810

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