Original subtitles

Malin.

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Malin.

Eva!

What is this?

What are you doing?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Stop it. Stop that!

Eva! Stop it, I said.

What are you doing? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Wake up. Wake up.

Let go. Let go, I said.

Stop it. Are you insane?

Malin.

What should I do with you?

Here you go.

Where is Malin?

What are you doing?

I was dreaming.

It was wonderful.

I came to discuss your future.

Just look at you. Cover yourself.

Why did you have to interrupt us?

We were having such a wonderful time in my dream.

I'm sending you to a private school...

for moral and aesthetic instruction with competent instructors.

Potent instructors?

No wisecracks.

The principal is a young nobleman.

We'll go there tomorrow to sign you in.

I've already spoken to them. It's all arranged.

You've got to be kidding.

I'm going to Paris.

Paris? No.

You think I'd send my little sister...

to a place full of dark-skinned gigolos with only one thing on their mind?

Oh, no.

I'm responsible for your moral values and I don't intend to fail.

School for moral instruction.

Like hell.

THE SECOND COMING OF EVA

I'm glad you could make it.

I'm glad to be of help. What's at issue?

There's a lot at stake, my inheritance mainly.

My Uncle Joakim...

has finally joined his ancestors.

- Uncle Joakim who went to America? - That's correct.

He's left me an estate, gold, the whole deal.

- But- - But what?

You're probably aware...

that my relatives don't exactly have the highest regard for me.

You don't say.

Thanks to some sweet little scandals?

Therefore, there's a clause in the will that stipulates...

that the heir improve his moral values.

He said that?

Yeah, old Joakim was one of those “clean-living“ people.

He didn't want to hear of any immoral behavior or filth, as they call it.

Now my relatives are trying to prove...

that they are more attuned to my uncle's wishes...

and that they should receive everything.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, that's why I've changed my dear old mansion...

into a school for moral and ethical instruction.

The only thing is that my relatives' spies could get here any day now.

And I have to behave in a moral and ethical manner.

I'm the principal.

So I'm asking certain reliable and intelligent people to help me.

And you are one of them. You're going to be a teacher.

Me?

- No, that sounds boring. - Boring?

If parents are so concerned about their daughters...

it must mean their daughters are extremely promiscuous.

Now do you get it?

Genius.

Simply genius.

Hello.

Dear friends, let me have your attention.

Everyone please gather around so our principal, Bo Goldenrod...

can introduce the teachers to the students and their parents.

Have you ever seen a more boring bunch?

Those guys from Beirut will never find us here.

I guess hiding here wasn't such a bad idea.

This school will do you good, my dear.

Chin up, now.

I'm sorry, I mean Baron Goldenrod.

I want to welcome you all to the school.

I hope we can all get acquainted over coffee.

All of you have shown such faith...

by entrusting your daughters' moral education to us.

It's a pleasure to meet our students' families.

Family is the backbone of this community.

And my colleagues and I are of one mind...

regarding the moral importance of family unity...

on both the moral and ethical level.

I can't stay here.

It's too boring. I won't be able to stand it.

Behave.

My fiancee can be a bit vulgar at times. I hope it won't affect her education.

I wouldn't want you to be shocked.

No need to worry.

Nothing she might do could shock me.

So please don't worry.

Unfortunately, the bus will be leaving in 15 minutes.

The girls' education will begin this afternoon.

The instructors appear proper...

but some of the students seem questionable.

Come.

She's probably got problems.

- Thank you very much. - Thank you.

Don't worry about your girl. We'll take good care of her.

That puts my mind at ease.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye.

Good luck.

I almost went cross-eyed wearing these glasses.

We pulled it off. Thanks for your help.

This is gonna be so boring.

Yeah, with such uptight-

- Here we come! - What?

- Here we are! - Yeah.

Here are the glasses.

- Don't you recognize your instructors? - Instructors, right.

Cheers.

Here's to your moral education.

Somebodys already taken care of mine.

How about we all get acquainted over dinner?

Great idea.

I hope your stay in a setting of moral “rectitude”...

will be satisfying for all of you.

That's right.

Not only for you students, but also for us instructors.

Here's to “rectitude”!

No, stop it.

- Why? - Give me some wine instead.

What's wrong with mine?

I love them. All four of them.

Caress me also. Further down.

No. Not underneath my feet.

Looks like you've already begun your moral instruction.

We're hiding here.

We were stuck in Beirut because we signed a binding contract.

We're supposed to be in a show there.

- A show! - You want to see it?

- A sex show! - Well, sexy.

Yeah, let's have some action.

Ladies and gentlemen...

we are proud to present, from around the world...

direct from Beirut...

lovely Linda and sexy Susan.

Hi, Erik.

- Do you like me? - Of course I do.

- Honestly? - Yes.

No, not now.

You can't.

I'm engaged.

I promised my fiancé I'd be faithful for as long as I wear his ring.

Forget him, huh?

Or don't you want to?

- I want to. - Yes.

Of course I want to.

But I always keep a promise.

Isn't it time for some private instruction?

I didn't know this was how I'd be educated.

I'll show you.

I don't want to be unfaithful. My fiancé.

I've promised with this ring.

That's right, the ring.

Look, it's vanished.

Since you're not wearing it anymore, you're not breaking any promises.

We must remove the remaining obstacles before our lesson.

Don't just stand there. Come.

Yes.

That feels great.

Why don't I have the courage?

Why am I not like the others?

Why?

Why don't I have the courage?

I'm so ugly.

Eva.

There.

Come, let me comfort you.

Come!

Catch me!

Catch me if you can.

Here I come.

Hey! What are you trying to do with my friend?

She doesn't do anything without me.

Wonderful. The more the merrier.

One time in Beirut we had 40 men at the same time.

Forty one.

And a cute little donkey.

How could I forget? The donkey was the best.

- Do you remember the two-humped camel? - It was a single-humped camel.

It had two.

I'm going to get you for the donkey and the camels.

The relations at the school became plentiful and wonderful.

The idea had become an overwhelming success...

and my estate was transformed into a virtual paradise.

But every paradise has a serpent.

And here he is - the serpent -

in the form of an attorney, dispatched by my greedy relatives...

in hopes of robbing me of my rightful inheritance.

But none of us were aware of this.

so for a while longer life could continue peacefully...

as usual.

Oh, darling. Oh, darling.

Oh, darling.

What is that? Is something burning?

Yes, the bush.

I love you.

- I love you too. - Darling.

Oh, darling.

Sweetheart, you're fantastic.

Oh, darling.

- Sweetheart. - Oh, darling.

Darling.

The school's first real result.

Is it moral or ethical?

What was that?

Strange.

- It wasn't anything. Let's contin- - A car is coming.

- You're right. Maybe it's new students. - It looks like a cop car.

Quick! Hide!

Something tells me that's not Santa Claus.

Quick. Inside.

Hey, over there.

Get your clothes on. Hurry!

Don't just sit there. Hurry up. I'm serious.

- Lis, get in. - But-

Hey, you. Get inside immediately.

I'm not joking. Get your clothes on.

Farewell and good luck to you.

I've heard this place is pleasant.

No! I want to, girls, but there's no time.

I have to-

- I have to get dressed. - You can't get dressed.

Please, girls. Please.

Let go. Let me go. This is serious.

A big black car just arrived.

Let go. Let me get my pants on at least.

Please.

We'll have a good time later, won't we?

I've got to hurry.

- No. - Please stay.

No.

Yes, what's this concerning?

My name is Roderick Elliot. Here's my card.

I'm an attorney representing the American branch of the Goldenrod family.

I'm investigating certain facts relating to the inheritance dispute.

I see. I'll have to ask you to come back tomorrow...

as this is not a very good time.

I have little time, so I plan to stay at the estate to conduct my investigation.

Unfortunately, that's impossible. We're out of bed linens.

But I can recommend-

I predicted this problem, so I brought paper sheets.

Really?

Damn it.

Paper sheets. What an excellent idea.

I mean-

What do you mean?

Isn't this a beautiful painting?

A vulgar example of depravity in so-called art.

This is my grandmother.

Amalia Goldenrod-Stiff.

Really? So it's hereditary.

What do you mean by that?

We'll see.

Okay.

Well, you understand-

Hi, who are you?

Well, Mr. Goldenrod. What is this?

Elisabeth, I've forbidden you to run around like this.

Run along now.

Hurry up, Elisabeth.

Elisabeth, get dressed.

God, you're boring.

I apologize for the interruption.

Now, you must understand the great and honorable duty we perform...

by educating young girls in the proper ways of society.

Peculiar. Very peculiar.

- Peculiar? How? - I'm not alone in thinking so.

Your relatives would like to know more about the activities on this estate.

It will be my pleasure. Please step into my office.

My office- What?

Sorry, wrong room.

Would you please step into the lounge instead?

Somethings not quite right here.

- Not right? How? - Peculiar.

Hide. Hide.

Under the couch.

Mr. Elliot, don't hide behind the door. Come in.

Look at this beautiful ceiling.

It's the only one of it's kind in the entire country.

Something smells.

It smells strange, a shameful scent.

That's just the fresh and clean country air, Mr. Elliot.

Please have a seat and we'll talk.

The education is performed in a very modern...

yet strict and conservative method.

- What was that? - Eva-

The evacuation siren.

- The fire alarm- - What? A fire? Dear Lord.

- There's no danger- - Help! A fire?

- Shameless! - Help! Fire!

We need to get out. Help!

I'm sending her to a psychiatrist in the morning.

- There's a fire! - I feel sorry for the girl.

Lord knows why things like this happen.

May I show you to your room?

He thinks he can fool me.

But this task should be simple...

and lucrative.

Stop playing around.

This situation is unbearable.

This lawyer will ruin me.

I'm sure you all realize...

that your advice is extremely valuable in this situation.

If I'm not awarded the inheritance...

I'm afraid I'll have to close the school.

No. We won't let anything happen to the school.

Esteemed members of the jury...

I will now describe to you the image- or more accurately- images...

I was greeted with when I arrived at the school.

A place where immoral activities are conducted...

in such an ethically reprehensible way...

that Bo Goldenrod should be-

Mr. Elliot. At your service.

I thought you might want to observe one of our classes...

in classical ballet.

I'd be very interested. Thank you.

Then come this way and I'll show you.

Mr. Elliot, here we have a typical ballet class.

I love you.

Ballet!

Well, Mr. Elliot, the Terpsichorean art is very difficult.

- Yes. - Peculiar.

- Very peculiar. - Peculiar? How?

To achieve the best possible results, we educate the students in small groups.

It's pretty much individual education.

And now, Mr. Elliot, you might want to observe our sex education class.

Sex?

Very much so.

And then the little bumblebee arrives at the stamen.

- Peculiar. - Peculiar? How, Mr. Elliot?

I have a deep respect for tradition.

In this room we have a statue that Uncle Joakim modeled for.

Not again.

Mr. Elliot, I'll make sure that the fire alarm is repair-

Whoops.

This is a valuable and antique artwork, but for the sake of decency-

Well, Mr. Elliot, dear old Joakim-

I think I understand.

I've seen enough for today. I'm going to bed.

Hey, what if that lawyer shows up? What's his name? Elliot?

Take it easy. I've checked on him. He's asleep.

Okay.

Wait. Give me another swig.

There are many legal clauses suitable for this instance.

Yes, indeed.

What is that?

That looks peculiar.

Oh, they're swans.

What a beautiful evening. I think I'll take a walk.

What's that?

Strange. I thought I saw something.

Now what is this? Some sort of folk dance?

Dear Lord. They look naked.

That can? be. No, I must be tired.

Now, what is this?

Seals. They've been spotted around here.

Yep, I'm pretty sure those are seals.

And here-

Yes, there are two people down there.

What are they doing? It seems very peculiar.

Very peculiar.

Two glasses?

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Down. It's the lawyer.

- I didn't see anything. - The glass. Lower the glass.

It's the principal.

No, you're just seeing things.

See for yourself. There he goes.

Now we're finished.

- Break it up. - No. Leave us alone.

- He's seen us. - Who?

Elliot. The lawyer.

- What the hell do we do? - It'll be okay. I'll take care of it.

- How? - You'll see.

Come in.

I'm Doctor Sven Hansson. How are you feeling?

Don't worry about my health.

I've actually never felt better...

in my entire life.

I'm glad to hear it.

The Swedish summer night has a profound effect on people.

The air is strong.

So strong that some people experience hallucinations.

They see visions and such.

- Hallucinations? - Yes.

No, but filth and depravity wherever you look.

Immorality that hasn't been seen since Sodom and Gomorrah.

This sounds like a classical example of summer night hallucinations.

Summer night hallucinations! Try to fool somebody else.

I assure you, I am a doctor.

I don't care about your qualifications.

Tell Bo Goldenrod that he won't get one penny of the inheritance.

As far as I'm concerned, my American clients have won this case.

Good night.

I'll be ruined.

- No. - What?

It pains me to say it, but the estate must be sold.

What will happen to the school?

You can't sell the estate, anything but that.

- We have to conspire with this lawyer. - You mean compromise?

I mean create a conspiracy.

If we make him the subject of a scandal, he won't dare show his face around here.

- Yeah. - Yes.

Who wants to volunteer?

- We do. - We do.

I'll go along as a witness.

- I'll seduce him. - Me too.

Get prepared, girls. A surprise attack-

And Elliot will fall.

How stupid do they think I am?

Hallucinations.

I ought to report them to the Swedish vice squad.

That's right.

Open up.

Who is it?

My name's Lis. I have something important to tell you.

Go away, I'm sleeping.

- Don't be stupid. - I'll be as stupid as I want.

It's better you talk to the police. They'll be here in the morning.

But I have something important to tell you.

There are strange things happening around here.

One moment.

I've seen horrific things. Indecent things.

Like what?

It's better you see for yourself.

- It's in the library. - Okay.

I thought this was a decent place, but I'm beginning to wonder.

You too.

This way.

There's moaning, sighing and creaking.

- It's scary. - We'll get to the bottom of this.

They're up there.

Really?

You don't think it's dangerous?

I'm scared.

Let me take care of this.

This is it.

- Where was it? - It was in here.

But there's nothing here.

There was a moment ago. It was terrifying.

What's this?

Try to get his pants.

I've got him. I've got him.

That won't do much good.

Give me a second and I'll take care of it.

Get him.

Please, I beg you.

Stop that. Please.

This is indecent.

Stop it. Stop.

Help. Stop it. You'll all burn in hell.

But we won't burn on earth.

What restraint.

Rome wasn't built in one day.

No! Police!

It's not allowed.

When we couldn't think of anything else, we were forced to do this.

This is great, isn't it?

Look!

He's starting to act like a real man.

That's not bad.

Can you imagine what we could've done with this before?

It tastes like a candy cane.

How's this for peculiar?

Oh, God.

This is what we learn here.

Lie still and I'll give you a reward.

More.

Remain calm.

I hope this works.

My entire life's at risk.

Don't fight it.

Let me go.

Just lie still and you'll see.

- I'm going to take him. - Why you? It was my idea.

Because I'm the one that got him hard.

I'm going to take him now.

- As long as I get it next. - Let me go!

You can't finish him already.

All right. If that's the way you want it.

I'll give you all you want.

Some people have it good.

Let's see your cards.

Now it's your turn.

It feels so nice.

Aren't they done yet?

I can't stand being away from the girls.

He's had all of us four times each.

For a man who hates women, you're a damn good lover.

Who the hell said I hate women?

I love women.

All women.

Come here and I'll make you scream with pleasure.

Not again. I'm going crazy.

Don't get jealous.

- What the hell are they doing? - What do you think?

Next!

That's fantastic.

Yes, I finally realize what I've been missing in life.

I therefore ask to remain for a while.

- You have to stay. - An excellent idea.

Cheers.

And I'll take care of the inheritance squabble for you.

Thank you.

Now that I've been morally and ethically educated...

I fully understand where Uncle Joakim's money will do the most good.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

- Let's drink to that. - Cheers.

I'm glad my sister sent me here so that I could meet you.

I'm so happy I met YOU-.

- I love you. - I love you too.

- They're so cute. - Young lovers.

Isn't it nice to have love blooming here amongst us?

Long live young lovers and may nothing disturb their happiness.

- I love you. - I love you.

Come.

Stay as long as you want.

It's nice that you realized you're a human being and not a robot.

- Thank you. - Cheers, Roderick.

Cheers.

My life has been pretty uneventful. My upbringing strict-

You understand.

To really open up a school-

a school for people who are inhibited like me.

That's not a bad idea.

- I'm reporting this disgusting school. - What's this?

- What's going on? - You're all going to jail.

I'm reporting you to the board of education.

Let me go.

Calm down. I'm from the board of education.

You can speak to me in confidence. Come with me to the principal's office.

I'll tell you what.

You can trust me. I was assigned by the minister of education himself...

from the department of education.

You have to help me make sure everybody goes to prison.

All guilty parties will be punished.

- I've never seen anything like it. - Please step into my office.

Let's get this sorted out.

Please have a seat.

What do you want to report?

The entire school is questionable.

My sister has been raped by a sex offender.

Sex offender? How do you know?

- I saw them with my own eyes. - What were they doing?

- They were going at it. - Going at it, how?

You know. They were lying there and going at it.

We need reliable information and details, if we are to intervene.

It's a terrible accusation you're making...

and you don't want to be sued for false accusation and defamation.

Of course not.

But it's difficult to describe when I personally haven't-

We'll have to reconstruct it.

Was she wearing a coat?

- No. - Then take it off.

- Was she wearing a dress? - No.

Then take it off. Take it off.

- But- - Take it off.

We have to perform a thorough investigation.

Was your sister wearing underwear during this alleged incident?

- No. - Take them off.

Please, I can't be naked in front of you.

Don't forget that I'm from the department of education...

and you have accused one of our accredited schools.

Well, in that case.

Take it all off. Hurry up.

Hurry UP-

This is what she looked like when they were going at it.

And what did the alleged sex offender look like?

He wasn't wearing any clothes either.

We'll have to continue the reconstruction.

Okay.

- Where did they do it? - In a bed.

We don't have a bed. We'll pretend the rug is a bed.

Lie down.

- But- - Down.

- Please- - Lie down.

Is he lying down on top of her?

I think he'll pull this off.

But, please. This-

- Did he caress her body? - I don't know.

He probably did. Like this.

Did he caress other places?

Please, I only saw them for a few seconds...

and I think this seems strange.

I don't know if I want to-

He most likely did...

and don't interrupt the reconstruction with irrelevant nonsense.

He probably caressed her like this.

He was impertinent.

He probably had her do this as well.

Yes. Yes, he did.

Yes, they did.

Incredibly shameful.

Yes.

He was on top of her also.

What? Like this?

- Did he lie still? - No.

He moved up and down. Up and down.

What impertinence.

Incredible impertinence.

Incredible.

He's done it. He's done it.

What did he do next?

He turned her around.

Like this.

- He did it like this? - Yes. That's what he did.

- This is what they did. - Breasts.

This is what they did the entire time, a long time.

How incredibly perverse.

Incredible.

My sister, Elsa. It's not possible.

It's your sister, all right. There's no mistake.

And then she did this.

- Did they do this also? - Yes. I hope so.

- Maybe they did it like this? - It's best we explore all the possibilities.

I don't remember too well.

She might have sat like this instead.

Yes, it's very possible.

It's wonderful if the department of education thinks so.

Did they do it like this?

I don't think so...

but had I stayed long enough, I'm sure they would have.

I'm tired of watching. Come, Lis.

You get such good ideas sometimes. Come.

This could take some time.

Yes. This incident needs to be investigated in detail.

Yes. Yes, do so.

Please do, Mr. Board of Education.

What was it you wanted to report?

We should discuss it, now that we know how the deed was done.

Report? No.

No, just continue with the investigation.

Do you want to rescind your accusation?

Please, don't interrupt the investigation with irrelevant nonsense.

- Okay, I'll continue. - Yes, please.

Thank you so much. Please continue.

I can also imagine that it might have happened like this.

I mean, she could have been lying on her stomach.

I'm sure she was on her stomach when I wasn't watching.

How incredibly wonderful it feels.

You make me much happier than Gustaf.

I can feel it.

It's Uncle Joakim!

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