Original subtitles

I...

I just photograph cocks and pussies.

Or cunts.

Whichever's the right term.

INTIMATE PARTS

So what?

Children might peep anyway.

You want them to find out which body part a stick of butter can be shoved up?

But these scenes carry a message of the great director.

No point in screening the film otherwise.

You can't cut out art just like that. Better ban the Whole thing.

Let's keep the art.

And cut out the rest.

Ok.

How should I sit?

Just sit comfortably, relax.

What's that?

What's what?

That shiny thing.

That's my genital piercing.

Could you please take it off? I need pure form.

Wish I knew how to remove this thing.

Could you give me a hand?

His works are quite contradictory.

What do you think about the upcoming exhibition?

It's no exhibition - it's pornography.

It has nothing to do with art.

Our committee will do anything to ban this event.

Culture is not ready for me yet. That's a fact.

Ivan, you've already blown three interviews.

I just don't get it.

Am I doing this for myself?

Aren't you?

Sayana, where's the napkin?

Do I have to repeat myself?

Sveta...

I appreciate What you do for me.

May I go to sleep now?

Tonight you're with...

Tonight I'm with Sayana.

Decrease of birth rate and increase of abortions is a burning issue.

More and more families decide not to have children at all,

which leads to the gradual extinction of our nation.

Cause if we don't take action today,

who will live in our country tomorrow?

We'll be back shortly.

Marriage doesn't necessarily imply breeding.

We did have an agreement.

We're fine the way we are, right?

Yes, of course.

We're fine.

One fetus.

Heartbeat is normal.

The fetus is in fetal fluid.

That's it. Wipe off and get dressed.

Why wouldn't you tell him?

Eva, you don't have much time.

Not in a talking mood? Ok, silence it is.

We can do this right now. If you want.

Can we do it in a week?

How do you like your wife?

A lot.

Wait.

Kids are sleeping.

What?

I forgot to brush my teeth.

New?!

Really, I fell asleep and forgot.

Come on.

Just give me 5 minutes.

Son, no homework at the dinner table.

Thanks

We've been together for so long, we've got kids.

Perhaps my lack of desire is temporary.

Trust me, I'm fighting it.

Really? How so?

I've decided to stop staring at hot chicks in the subway.

I started looking only at ugly ones.

Trying to overcome lust by disgust.

And what are the results?

Now I fancy the ugly ones too.

Let's make a deal.

No more amateur hour.

Curious material.

We've been in 20 movies already. Him and I.

Then Why do you need a photo shoot?

We need a touch of a real artist.

I'm flattered.

Say cheese.

Yes, absolute profoundness of the artist's latest work

Thank you.

Now scroll down to the last passage,

second line from the bottom.

The reinvented sincerity You crossed out special method

let's leave reinvented sincerity as a special method

Could you please read it back to me?

By ear is more convenient.

Thanks

It's latest work, not last.

Thank you.

It's been a pleasure.

Yes.

I'd like to see the final draft if possible.

Could you please send it to me?

How many times do I go on air in April?

How about May?

Can't do it May 9. Let's try May 1.

Serge!�

Serge, you have to see this.

Confirm this with the program director and call me back.

- What? - Look!

Touch it It's alive. It's breathing.

That's it?

Ok. It's breathing. Great.

It's alive.

Look out!

Sorry.

Are you blind?

Again, I apologize.

I would like to make up for our incident.

Please do visit our circus.

Hello.

Thank you for the wonderful performance.

The sea lion got sick.

Our top star.

Everything was great regardless.

No, it's just not the same without the sea lion.

Well, we have paid you a visit,

now it's your turn.

This is where We live.

See you.

Our public morality commission

has already prepared a draft law for the parliament.

Wait, no erotica at all?

How about film adaptations of Russian literature?

It does contain plenty of erotic scenes, you know.

I've read Russian classics.

I don't remember such scenes.

Let's stick to the original text. That's it.

I agree.

But What if we also ban gore and violence in the news,

all these corpses...

I disagree with that.

When people see corpses on TV, it changes their life attitude.

They think twice before exceeding speed limit,

or opening the door to strangers.

Undoubted public benefit.

Public-friendly corpses.

Yes, you could say that.

What's this?

Spring Salad.

Anything else?

Yes, those batteries please.

Anything else?

More batteries please.

Anything else?

More batteries.

Is that all?

Move.

More?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

What is this massage?

Erotic massage with a happy ending.

No sex.

Who's giving it?

You?

Why did you run away?

At some point I realized it was adultery.

It's not a solution.

When having sex with Olga,

try to think of the women you like.

This way you'll project their image onto your Wife.

And gradually, bit by bit

it will all work out...

Are you gonna do it or not? You have 15 minutes left.

No, I'm not.

Why?

Because a prostitute is like a White flag for a man.

I'm here for educational purposes only.

Sorry, it's so unfurnished.

We've-just moved in.

Wanna see a trick?

Look.

This is your hankie, Eva,

and this one's yours.

Now they will disappear.

Magically, of course.

Concentrate.

Hold your hand over mine.

Do you feel anything?

Think about the hankies.

Blow on it.

Great.

You think they're still there?

Let's see.

Check your left pocket.

The bottom left.

- This one? - Yes.

Cool.

May I see your hand please.

someones looking for you.

I was cleaning the house and found this. I thought, it might be yours.

No, it's not mine.

That's a pity.

Why did you think it was mine?

I don't know.

It seemed kinda magical.

Does this mean I'm a fag?

Gay?

How was I unaware of this for so long?

No need to worry.

Some people tend to realize their homosexuality later on in life.

So what do I do now?

It's important that we've already identified the issue.

We've articulated it.

Now we'll handle it.

Relax.

It's not the end of the world.

The point is to keep it under control.

Would you like a drink?

I'm sorry. I've never been photographed like this.

Don't worry.

Hand me your purse. Or put it down.

You see, I just wanted to make a gift.

For my husband.

It's his anniversary.

He's a police general.

I just don't know how to surprise him anymore.

You think he's gonna like it?

Can't tell you if he's gonna like it.

But he'll definitely be surprised.

He's been a trouble-maker since high school.

I guess you could blame it on the Lack-of-Satisfaction Syndrome.

LOSS - that's the disambiguation.

People are constantly trying to satisfy themselves.

With sex, alcohol, stimulants.

So how do we fight it?

We need to restrain this syndrome within ourselves.

Pull ourselves together.

Because only a wise self-restriction...

Boris, hold on. If you are so smart,

tell me what are we all born for?

Well, this is quite a philosophical question.

Philosophical my ass. Just another everyday question.

We are born to be happy.

Let's assume so.

But What is happiness?

This is definitely a big subject.

No, it isn't.

Happiness means freedom.

Fucking freedom!

Freedom to be yourself and to do whatever you Want.

Why come up with all these bullshit restrictions?

So wait, Ivan is against any restrictions, right?

What if someone is born a pedophile maniac?

Still no restrictions?

Boris, let's not jump to the extreme.

Ok, maniacs crossed out.

So happiness is not for everyone?

Yay, We have a Winner!

Typical case of LOSS.

Fuck off!

Ivan!

While you photograph testicles or Whatever, I help people.

Whom do you hem?

You two?

You guys suck and he helps you suck harder.

No, I'm visiting the doctor today and I can't tell you when I'll be done.

Yes.

What's your name?

Pardon me?

Albina.

Shall we meet tomorrow?

I just don't restrict myself in any Way.

In good old medieval times

a knight would pillage his foes with his sword,

then return to his castle,

tear down the princess's chastity belt and fuck her brains out.

But since we started caring about your orgasms

it all went down to shit.

That's when your reign began.

Darling...

...I came.

Hooray.

Or I didn't.

Boo-hoe.

Like you don't care if you make both of your wives come.

Girls!

Listen,

when was the last time you got fucked?

We have conducted a series of sociological surveys in all federated regions,

and have come to a sad, if not a catastrophic conclusion.

Here is our forecast for morality decrease in Russia by 2020.

Let's have a closer look at the graph.

Not much time is left till the moment

when the level of the nation's morals drops below its lower threshold

Take a look at the graph.

Comparing to the decline in the last decade,

we can forecast its acceleration by 9.7% a year

Look at the green line.

As we can see in 2012-2013 it remains at this level.

But starting from 2014 it drops down.

Until 2015 it's fluctuating but stays within the limits of norm.

See it for yourself, just like in the ad.

Mileage is 30 K.

An efficient little car.

Would you like a test drive?

Wow, this is like a midget-mobile.

You're exaggerating.

And don't be so hard on midgets.

They're people too.

I used to date a midget.

She worked in a circus.

A hula hoops.

How did you...

I was concerned at first.

Thought everything was so doll-like inside her.

Was afraid to damage something.

But then she jumped at me.

Literally raped me.

And let me tell you - she was just wow up there.

This sounds very perverted you know.

Who's not a pervert?

I'm not a pervert.

Wait!

Winter tires for free!

SERGEY

LISA

SASHA

Working.

Could you please come up with me?

Go undress.

Undress. Take your clothes off.

Get into the bathroom.

Gem.

On your knees.

Money is in the hall.

Excuse me,

could you please buy me some gin-tonic.

They won't sell it to me.

Daddy's home.

Daddy,

I'm gonna work in a circus.

Daddy, what's the word for a girl who hula hoops?

A hula hooper.

I'm gonna be a hula hooper some day.

Where did you get this?

It's mom's gift.

Give it to me.

I said give it to me.

Lesha, mafia up?

You! You!

You.

This is all your fault!

Could you please give me a hand.

Sorry about the glitch. The system's brand new.

Yury Kolokolnikov Julia Aug

Olesya Sudzilovskaya Dinara Yankovskaya

Nikita Tarasov Timur Badalbeyly Ksenia Katalymova

Ekaterina Scheglova ma Memm PAexey Qhupcv

Written and directed by Natasha Merkulova Alexa-y Chupov

Director of Photography Mart Taniel

Sound Saulius Urbanavicius Music by Alexa-y Zelensky

Production designer Asia Davydova Costume designer Yana Pavlidis

Make-up Snezhana Rafikova

Edited by Ru Hasanov Casting director Vladimir Golov

Producers Bakur Bakuradze, Julia Mishkinene, Zaur Bolotaev, Alexandr Plotnikov

Co-producers Natasha Merkulova Alexey Chupov