Original subtitles

[N]

[Wind whistling]

["Look to the rainbow" playing]

J'j' on the day I was born j'j'

j'j' said me father, said he j'j'

j'j' "I've an elegant legacy waitin' for ye j'j'

j'j' "'tis a rhyme for your lip n

j'j' "and a song for your heart n

j'j' to sing it whenever the world falls apart" j'j'

J'j' look, look look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow it over the bill and the stream j'j'

j'j' look, look look to the rainbow j'j'

ij' follow the fellow who follows a dream n

J'j' 'twas a sumptuous gift to bequeath to a child if

n for the lure of that song keeps me head running wild j'j'

j'j' 'tis a rhyme for me lip and a song for me heart if

j'j' and I sing it whenever the world falls apart if

j'j' look, look look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow it over the m” and the stream j'j'

j'j' look, look look to the rainbow j'j'

ij' follow the fellow who follows a dream n

If so I bundled me heart if

j'j' and I roamed the world free j'j'

j'j' to the east with the [ark to the west with the sea n

j'j' and I searched all the earth and I scanned all the skies j'j'

j'j' but I found it at last j'j'

n“ in my own true love's eyes j'j'

j'j' look, look look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow it over the m” and the stream j'j'

j'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

ij' follow the fellow who follows a dream n

j'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' who follows a dream m

[siren wailing]

Eureka!

Sharon, come quickly.

So, what is it now, father?

We're... we're here.

The journey's ended. Our destination at last.

Thank merciful heaven. Now I can sit down.

No, you can't sit down.

It's the hill beyond yon hill.

Oh, I've been hearin' about the hill beyond yon hill

ever since we left Ireland.

[Siren continues wailing]

[Crowd chattering indistinctly]

Keep your distance.

Don't crowd around.

Clear the way. Step aside.

Woman: What's going on here?

They're gonna have an auction.

Man: A what?

They're gonna have it today.

Sheriff, are you gonna get this auction started now, ain't ya?

Hear ye!

Hear ye! [Crowd silences]

Now, wait a minute!

Y-You can't have an auction

without first talking to Susan mahoney.

Why not?

Henry, go get Susan.

Because her brother owns this property, that's why not.

Sheriff: I beg your pardon.

The law states this property belongs to anybody

who's got money to pay the taxes.

And that's me.

Woman: You mean senator rawkins has it. You're just a stooge.

Woman 2: Woody don't like stooges.

Buzz: Who's Woody?

Woman 2: He's Susan's brother.

Man: He's a trouble-makin' con man.

Woman: He is not!

Woody is president and general sales manager

of the rainbow valley tobacco cooperative.

Man: Incorporated!

Buzz: What's that?

All: Us!

Sheriff: They're sharecroppers.

Man 2: Sure are.

That's how come we're all gonna get rich together.

Woman: Woody promised me personally.

Boy: Susan's trying to tell you something.

- Well, I'm iistenin'. - What she say, Henry?

She says Woody's coming.

[All murmur excitedly]

I didn't hear her say anything.

Naturally. She was born silent.

One of the few women who ever was.

Sure, mister. She don't do "talk" talk.

She does foot talk.

Buzz: Foot talk?

That's ridiculous.

What's she saying now?

Boy: She says you gotta wait for Woody.

He's bringin' the money.

[All murmur excitedly]

Sheriff: Quiet!

Tax sale gonna start now.

It's all right. It's all right. Woody's coming.

Woody's coming.

Woody's coming.

Woody's coming, Woody's coming...

All: Woody's coming.

Woody's coming, Woody's coming,

Woody's coming, Woody's coming,

Woody's coming, Woody's coming,

Woody's coming, Woody's coming, Woody's coming,

Woody's coming, Woody's coming, Woody's coming,

Woody's coming, Woody's coming...

It's my duty to protect the people of rainbow valley.

Who from?

From the people of rainbow valley.

Hear ye!

Hear ye!

We can't be bothered with the mortgage man...

All: This time of the year.

You'll be sorry you interfered with the law.

N for spring don't care about the mortgage man j'j'

n this time of the year if

I'm giving you your last chance to get back your land.

N the dandelions in the dusky Dell j'j'

j'j' don't give a hoot in hell j'j'

Howard: J'j' they're gonna smell without collateral j'j'

n this time of the year if

n this time j'j'

n this time of the year if

j'j' sweet merry buds and elderberry buds j'j'

j'j' don't give a good ding-ding-dang j'j'

j'j' corn's shootin' up fruit trees are fruitin' up n

n go tell rawkins to go hang-hang j'j'

J'j' don't mess around here if

n this time of the year if

j'j' you'll get it in the rear j'j'

n this time of the year if

j'j' magnolias are sentimental j'j'

j'j' persimmons are queer j'j'

sheriff: Keep your distance, now!

Give way there! You hear me?

I said, keep your distance!

J'j' don't easily scare n“

j'j' they sprout without real estaters j'j'

n this time of the year if

j'j' yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah n

j'j' yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah n

j'j' that choo-choo's comin' and it's mighty clear if

j'j' whoa, whoa Woody's here j'j'

j'j' he's up there riding with the engineer n

if yes, Woody's here n

j'j' just look at that choo-choo puffin' j'j'

j'j' let's give it a mighty cheer j'j'

j'j' just look at that engine huffin' j'j'

j'j' dang, blast it all Woody's here if

j'j' Woody's here j'j'

j'j' get a load of that whistle blowin' j'j'

j'j' that whistle is good to hear j'j'

ii it's wantin' you to be knowin' j'j'

j'j' dang, blast it all Woody's here if

j'j' Woody's here j'j'

j'j' woo-oody's here j'j'

[Whistle blows]

Sharon: And to think I let you whisk me out of Ireland,

across an ocean and down a continent,

in the sweet green month of April.

And for what?

For a beautiful new life in a beautiful new land.

I thought we came here to cure your arthritis.

You remember that? Aye, that too, that too.

Well, now 'tis me that's cured of your arthritis!

It's all mythical,

and so is that cure place where it called rainbow valley.

Now you've gone just a bit too far.

Here I have it on me map,

witnessed and endorsed by rand and McNally.

I don't know who rand is, but I could never trust a McNally.

But you can always trust a mclonergan.

Ah-hah.

[Chuckles]

Behold that mythical land called rainbow valley.

[N]

Whoo-hoo!

Sharon, shake hands with a millionaire.

- A millionaire? - A multi-millionaire.

Now what's happened to your arthritis?

Arthritis? That's for the poor.

Finian mclonergan, I knew you were up to something.

Will you stand still and listen to me?

I-I can't, I can't!

Ooh, ever since I was 2 years high,

you've been seeing leprechauns in the cabbage patch

and rainbows over your whiskey jug.

Now what pixified fancy of yours

has really brought us to america?

Huh?

Oh, you'll love it here.

You'll have everything you left behind in glocca morra.

[Bird sings]

You hear that?

What did I tell you?

The same skylark music we have back in Ireland.

[Bird sings]

- Ha. - Aye.

A glocca morra skylark.

Aye.

N I hear a bird j'j'

n“ a glocca morra bird j'j'

m it well may be h

j'j' he's bringing me a cheerin' word j'j'

n I hear a breeze j'j'

n a river Shannon breeze j'j'

m it well may be h

j'j' it's followed me across the seas j'j'

m then tell me, please if

j'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

n is that little brook still ieapin' there? J'j'

j'j' does is still run down to Donny cove? J'j'

n through killybegs kilkerry and kildare? J'j'

j'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

n“ is that Willow tree still weepin' there? If

n does that laddie with the twinklin' eye if

j'j' come whistlin' by? N

j'j' and does he walk away sad and dreamy there n

j'j' not to see me there? J'j'

j'j' so I ask each weepin' Willow n

j'j' and each brook j'j'

j'j' along the way j'j'

j'j' and each lad that comes a-whistlin' n

j'j' too-ra-lay j'j'

j'j' how are things j'j'

n“ in glocca morra j'j'

n this fine day? J'j'

[sobs]

Oh, now, father.

Why are you crying?

Ah, it's that cheap Irish music.

Where is everybody?

Hello?

Hello!

Shhh.

Where are all the children?

[Over pa] What the devil...?

Crowd: J'j' Woody's here if

n he's up there riding with the engineer n

j'j' yes, Woody's here j'j'

someone's coming.

You better get up in that tree and take a look.

J'j' don't easily scare n“

j'j' they'll sprout without real estaters j'j'

n this time of the year if

it's only the folk who live here, father.

America's full of gangsters, you know?

Sharon: I thought you said it was full of millionaires.

Don't argue.

J'j' can't be bothered with the mortgage man j'j'

n this time of the year if

here, take this.

0h!

N the spring don't care about the mortgage man if

n this time of the year if

but it's... it's gold.

Aye, it's a pot of gold.

And you stole it?

I never stole it. I borrowed it.

What...? Whom did you borrow it from?

- Why do you wanna know? - So we can lend it back to him.

- Well, it's impossible. - Why not?

Well, uh, because he's not mortal.

- You killed him? - Of course not.

He never was mortal. He's a leprechaun.

- A leprechaun? - Aye.

Who else would have gold in Ireland?

J'j' they'll sprout without real estaters j'j'

n this time of the year if

j'j' now that Woody's here if

j'j' now that Woody's here if

j'j' now that Woody's here if

[people chattering]

Buzz: Now, don't think that this is gonna stop the auction.

- You gonna pay him off, Woody? - Howard, you just watch me.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Ain't gonna have you making a burlesque of the law.

Why not? That's where the law spends most of its time.

Seen him in the front row last Monday night, Woody.

- Yes, you did! - It ain't true!

Ain't true!

Be quiet!

This is an unlawful assembly.

Well, then, this unlawful assembly

is gonna have to come to order.

All right.

Read it.

[People gasp]

Read it.

"Rainbow valley parcel lot number seven

"is hereby up for auction

"by reason of default of back taxes

in the amount of $777."

$777 going once.

$777 going twice.

$777 going three times.

All: Yes! Sold to the rainbow valley

tobacco cooperative... Incorporated.

[All cheer]

Yeah!

That's ol' Woody.

This covers it, except...

The service charges, notary services,

penalty points, penal points,

convertible debentures,

miscellaneous and sundry add-on interest.

Another $77.

Woody: No, it never said nothin' about this in that bill you sent to my sister.

Well, that's how it is with interest.

It don't make a sound. It just keeps compounding.

Ain't you got the balance of the money?

I figure I'm good for it.

Ha! Cash!

All right, come on, sheriff.

Wait a minute.

Give me a chance to get my money back on this guitar.

It's too late for that.

Money don't grow on trees, you know.

It does for Woody.

[People exclaim]

[N]

[People laughing]

Man: Hey, buzz,

say hello to rawkins.

If rawkins hears about this,

we'll both be lookin' for new jobs.

Come on, sheriff!

[Siren wailing]

Well, now. What do we have here?

It's an angel.

Shame on the frivolous likes of you, young man.

It's an Irish angel.

Your kith and kin here pinning their hopes on you,

and you go squanderin' money on a... on a music box.

Woody: Nuh-uh. Ooh!

I did it for them.

It's a community guitar.

Aye, and I'm sure that's how you'll be using it, on...

On every girl in the community.

Daughter, that's no way to be talking

to me future business partner.

Partner?

Now, you accepted me money for back taxes, didn't you?

I intend to pay you back, pop.

I don't want you to pay me back. I just want me property rights.

How much land are you entitled to?

Oh, an acre or so.

All I need is a parcel of land as big as me bag...

On the closest point to fort Knox.

We are in the vicinity, are we not?

About two miles.

In fact, on a warm night you can smell the gold.

[Both laughs]

Have we a deal?

Man: Yeah.

Crowd: Yeah!

It's a deal.

Then give me your hand, son.

[Spits]

[Laughs]

- Welcome to rainbow valley... - Ha!

Home of what is about to be the prosperous tobacco company

in this whole state.

Finian: And I'll wager that.

[N]

What's your name?

Sharon mclonergan.

Mine's Woody mahoney.

Mahoney. It's fate.

How'd you get so pretty?

And so rich?

Well, you see, back in glocca morra,

where we come from, there's an old legend.

And it says: "You'll never grow old,

"and you'll never grow poor

if you look to the rainbow beyond the next moor."

That's a lovely legend.

Aye.

- Wonder who thought it up. - Me father.

Finian mclonergan.

J'j' on the day she was born j'j'

j'j' said her father, said he n“

if "I've an elegant legacy waiting for ye j'j'

j'j' "'tis a rhyme for your lip j'j'

j'j' "and a song for your heart n“

ii to sing it whenever the world falls apart" j'j'

j'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow it over the hill and stream j'j'

j'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' who follows a dream j'j'

j'j' so I bundled me heart if

j'j' and I roamed the world free if

j'j' to the east with the lark j'j'

j'j' to the west with the sea j'j'

j'j' and I searched all the earth if

j'j' and I scanned all the skies n“

j'j' but I found it at last j'j'

n in my own true love's eyes n

both: J'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow it over the hill and stream j'j'

j'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow who follows a dream j'j'

follow the fellow.

J'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' who follows a dream j'j'

Man: Hee-yah!

Hee-yah!

Man 2: Yee-hee-hee-hoo!

Yee-hah!

Yipee!

Yee-hah!

Crowd: Yee-hah!

Crowd: Yah! Hah! Hah!

Crowd: Bye.

[Finian whistling to tune]

[Gate creaking]

[Wolf howls in distance, crickets chirping]

[Bird calling]

Father.

Young lady, what would you be doing up at this hour?

I'm taking care of you.

Any time the moon is full,

you can be sure mclonergan will be too.

You go back to bed.

Where are you going with that bag and shovel?

Will you leave me be if I tell you?

Aye.

Then let me ask you this.

What do you think makes america different from Ireland?

It has more irishmen.

It has more money.

Everyone in america is rich.

But, father, are there no poor in america?

No ill-housed and no ill-clad?

Of course.

They're the best ill-housed and the best ill-clad

in all the world.

Why?

"Why?" I ask.

And there's no man with wit enough to tell me.

So I'll tell you.

Quote me-self. Quote.

Didn't the Americans rush to dig gold from the ground

in California in 1849?

Well, so I've heard.

Didn't they plant it in the soil at fort Knox 100 years later?

- Granted. - Well, that's it.

You see, there's something about the soil

in and around fort Knox

that gives a magical quality to gold.

Well, no, father...

It causes the gold

to radiate a powerful influence throughout america.

It activates the assembly lines in Detroit.

It... it makes skyscrapers sprout up

from the gutters of New York City.

And it produces a bumper crop of millionaires.

And that...

Is the mclonergan theory of economics.

And that's why we came to america?

Aye.

To Bury me pot of gold.

Now, you go back to bed.

It's a witching night.

[N]

[Frogs croaking]

Mmm. Aye. Mm-hmm.

[Muttering] Where's a good place?

[N]

[Muttering indistinctly]

[Muttering]

[Muttering]

I'll... I'll... I ought to...

[Muttering]

[Clears throat]

One, two, four...

Five, six, seven, eight, unh!

[Muttering]

M“ green is the color of the shamrock n

j'j' and the grass on blarney hill j'j'

j'j' oh, the darlin' green of Ireland n

j'j' and the good old dollar bill n

hmm.

[N]

Ohhh!

Ohhh!

[Muttering]

[Eerie music plays]

[Liquid sloshing]

[Eerie music plays]

[Muttering]

God be with ya.

Oh.

God and Mary be with ye.

God, Mary and St. Patrick be with you.

God, Mary, St. Patrick and St. ozymandias be with ye.

Ozymandias? I never heard of him.

He's a special Saint.

He's the patron Saint of the leprechauns of glocca morra.

[Laughing]

My name is 09.

- Og from glocca morra? - Right.

- Me native Heath. - Right!

You're an imposter.

You can't be a leprechaun. You're too tall!

I know, and I'm getting taller!

Oh, I need your help, Mr. Mclonergan.

- Me help? - Aye.

Well, that calls for a toast.

I rise to welcome you to america.

How are things in glocca morra?

Oh, alas, alack and Willy-Wally.

I weep for glocca morra and all Ireland.

You weep? Why? What's happened?

A blight has fallen over Ireland.

The British are back.

Never have I seen such a curse befall

in all me four hundred and fifty...

Nine years.

Ohh.

Alas, poor Ireland.

[Weeping] Poor Ireland.

[Weeping] Poor Ireland!

Me suffering Ireland.

Me suffering Ireland!

Bleeding Ireland.

Oh, the native land!

Oh, me native land.

[Sobbing]

A fine lot of fairy folk you are, you and your associates,

iettin' all this happen.

Why don't you wish it away?

We lost the power.

You mean you've gone and lost the power to make wishes?

Aye.

What has Ireland to live for now? Answer me that.

Doom and gloom!

Doooooom and gloooooom!

Who's the author of this foul outrage?

A monster.

- A monster? - Aye.

You mean the old flame-breathing type?

The kind with the head of a dragon?

No, no. This is a tiny monster.

He's about, um...

Your size.

Who is he? Who is this monster?

You'll excuse me for pointing, Mr. Mclonergan, but it's you.

- Me? - Aye.

You brought the blight on yourself

when you stole our crock of gold.

The little crock that gives us all the power to wish.

Don't be superstitious, man. It's bad luck.

Give it back, Mr. Mclonergan.

How do you know I've got it?

Magnetic feathers pointed you out all the way from Ireland.

Arggh!

Feathers, who's the culprit?

[Feather whistles]

Ohh, me arthritis! Oh-ho-ho, wait. What...?

Oh, give it back, Mr. Mclonergan,

before a great evil befalls you.

Can't you postpone your wishing a couple of months?

Gold was never meant for mankind.

It's a fairyland metal that only fairy folk can use.

In the hands of a mortal, it can only bring...

[Whispers] Doom and gloom.

Dooooooom and gloooooom!

Doom and gloom! Stop your whining, leprechaun.

I've come to a decision.

I deny your existence.

You're only a figment of me imagination.

- I am? - And to prove it,

I'm going to walk right through you.

Step aside.

There. What did I tell you?

This is dreadful.

I don't exist.

Of course not. I'm always seeing things.

Ask me daughter.

But if I don't exist,

how is it I... i'm gradually becoming mortal?

The saints preserve us! You are?

Aye.

So are all the other little leprechauns,

ever since you stole our crock of gold.

Look at me! Look!

It's crept past me ankles already.

Can't you hold out until the winter?

Oh, I don't know.

I got a peculiar human feeling in my thighs lately.

Your thighs? Don't let it go any higher, man.

[Moans]

Mary and Joseph, Ireland's ruined.

Sharon: Father!

Someone's comin'!

Me daughter.

Now that you're half-mortal, you're indecent.

Ohh!

Here. You'd better take these.

Take these.

Now, you heard me, now.

Now... here you are.

You take those...

Sharon: Father!

Father!

Sharon!

Mr. Mc...

Lonergan.

Father!

Sharon!

Father!

Sharon!

Mr. Mcloooooooooon...

Ergan.

Father!

What fools these mortals be.

Father...

[Both scream]

Father!

Ahh!

Ohh...

What's a girl like you doin' in a place like this?

Oh, it's you, Mr. Mahoney.

Well, I... I was looking for me father.

Not too long ago,

they find a young girl in the forest

in the middle of the night,

why, they'd think that she was... a witch.

Well, is that so?

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll...

I'll be saying good evening to you.

You're not afraid of the werewolves?

Werewolves?

Our valley has its legends too, you know.

Haven't you noticed how strange the sky looks?

'Tis a trifle strange.

And look at the moon.

Oh, 'tis a cold, full moon.

Thelegend of the valley.

When the sky is strange and the moon is full,

the werewolves prowl.

- Unless... - Unless?

That's a very complicated part of the legend,

and you're in a hurry...

Oh, no, Mr. Mahoney!

I'd rather like to know the more complicated part of the legend.

It's only how to make yourself immune from the werewolves.

Well, how would I be doing that?

Well, you have to stand very, very close

to the nicest, handsomest fella around.

[Bird chirps]

That must be you.

Must be.

Then you make yourself comfortable on the grass.

Now you blink your eyes twice...

And keep them closed.

Now you say...

"Petrified parsley" over and over, real fast.

Petrified parsley. Petrified parsley.

Petrified parsley. Petrified parsley. Petrified parsley.

- Do you feel immune yet? - No.

Petrified parsley. Petrified parsley.

Petrified parsley. Petrified parsley.

Pet...

Oh...

[Sighs]

- That's a lovely legend. - Mmm.

Who made it up?

I did.

N I look at you j'j'

j'j' and suddenly j'j'

j'j' something in your eyes I see if

j'j' soon begins bewitching me if

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

j'j' that you stole from the skies j'j'

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

n“ in your eyes n“

n“ you and your glance j'j'

j'j' make this romance j'j'

j'j' too hot to handle j'j'

n“ the stars in the night if

j'j' blazing their light j'j'

j'j' can't hold a candle j'j'

j'j' to your razzle-dazzle j'j'

j'j' you've j'j'

j'j' got me flying high and wide j'j'

j'j' on a magic carpet ride j'j'

j'j' full of butterflies inside j'j'

n I wanna cry j'j'

j'j' wanna croon j'j'

j'j' wanna laugh just like a loon j'j'

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

n“ in your eyes n“

j'j' ooh, ooh ooh, ooh j'j'

j'j' yeah j'j'

j'j'ij'j'

j'j' look at you j'j'

n and glory be h

j'j' something in your eyes j'j'

n“ I see if

j'j' soon begins bewitchin' me n

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

j'j' that you stole from the skies j'j'

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

n“ in your eyes n“

n“ you and your glance j'j'

j'j' make this romance j'j'

j'j' too hot to handle j'j'

n“ the stars in the night if

j'j' blazin' their light I!“

j'j' can't hold a candle j'j'

j'j' to your razzle-dazzle j'j'

j'j' you've got me flyin' high and wide j'j'

ii on a magic carpet ride j'j'

j'j' full of butterflies inside if

n I wanna cry j'j'

n I wanna croon j'j'

n I want to laugh like a loon n

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

n“ in your eyes n“

j'j' just when I think I'm n

j'j' free as a clove n“

j'j' old devil moon j'j'

j'j' deep in your eyes j'j'

j'j' blinds me with love if

j'j' yeah j'j'

j'j' yeah j'j'

j'j' mm, mm, mm h“

j'j' mm, mm, mm h“

j'j' mm, mm, mm, mm m

[Train whistle blowing]

[Dogs barking]

Woody: Howard, old buddy!

Hey, Woody!

Oooh!

How's our Burbank in the back swamp?

Hey, Mr. Moneybacker.

How are you doing, brother?

I've been waiting for you. Where you been?

Sharon, I want you to meet Howard.

Howard, this is Sharon.

- How do you do? Nice to meet you. - Hello.

Hey, Woody, I'm glad you're here.

I got the list all made out:

50 feet of styrene tubing, quarter-inch, 250 pounds of

nitrogen tripalmonate, three gallons of...

The voice that you hear is the voice of the greatest

research botanist in this country.

He's gonna change our whole way of life.

He's the pride and joy of our little valley.

He's gonna do it with these flowers.

- These are all his babies. - Oh, no.

- We're doing it together. - Huh?

Woody thought it up and I'm growing them up.

You know I ain't nothing but a suede-shoe boy peddling tobacco.

Howard here, is the first man in history

to mate the mint plant with the tobacco plant.

- Oh. - You realize what that means?

No.

You are looking at the mentholated tobacco plant.

Here, smell...

Smell the mint-julep nicotine.

[All sniff]

- Mmm. - Ohhh..

That's nice. You can really smell it. It's lovely.

It's an all-new form of tobacco life.

It only has one drawback.

What's that?

Well, it doesn't burn.

Doesn't burn?

It's worse than asbestos. It actually puts fires out.

- Mm-hmm. - But we're working on it!

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Now that you're all back, fat with... cash,

we've gotta get to work on it again.

Once I rig that styrene tubing,

I'll take the nitrogen tripalmonate in powdered form...

That's what I've been meaning to talk to you about, Howard.

What's that, the styrene tubing

or the nitrogen tripalmonate in powdered form?

Woody: The cash.

Yeah, what...? What about the cash?

Ooh, I, uh, got some great things going.

I made some contacts you wouldn't believe.

Wait, wait. Contacts, no cash?

Not a dime.

If you didn't bring back any cash,

I'll go out and get some.

How?

I'll get a job. Yeah.

But you've got a job, Howard.

That's to make it burn.

Make it burn!

[Scoffs]

Is that dedication?

Mr. Mahoney.

Mmm?

You're gonna make plenty of money for everyone.

You bet.

Without doing a stitch of work for it?

Why not?

And is that what you call the mahoney theory of economics?

No, but that's a pretty good name for it.

Why don't you grow ordinary tobacco that does burn?

Never get rich that way.

Oh, see you soon, Sharon.

Oi! Howard, buddy!

Oh, you!

[Bells chime "dixieland"]

[Door creaking]

[Snarling]

Oh!

Buzz: Don't take that personal.

He's trained to do that to anyone what ain't white.

Yeah.

[Growling]

Oh, you the new boy from the agency?

Howard: Y-yeah.

Okay, stonewall.

Hey...

Ain't I seen you somewhere?

Uh...

You worked here as a Butler, didn't you?

Oh, no. No. No... uh, sir.

[Chuckles]

Well, you'll like working here, boy.

I've hired all the senator's butlers for the past 10 years.

Hundreds of 'em.

Of course, uh, he's a little intolerant at times,

- but that's his blood pressure. - Yeah.

What's your name?

Howard.

Let me see you serve that julep.

Ohhh, rawkins won't like that.

That's no way to serve a julep.

It's too fast.

Get some shuffle into it.

You've seen some of the new movies

like birth of a nation

and gone with the wind, haven't you?

Here, George, like this.

Uh, Howard.

Yeah, okam Jackson.

You-a julep, suh.

Massa rawkins, suh,

all frosted and minty.

Hyah, hyah, hyah.

You see, George?

Eh...

Why do I have to shuffle?

Oh, now, I don't have to

explain that to you.

It makes for kindly feelings

between employer and employee.

Once more now, try it again. And not so fast this time.

How did you do that again?

You know, I don't understand you, Jackson.

You don't walk like you're supposed to,

you don't talk like you're supposed to,

and you don't even know how to serve a julep.

You educated or something?

I'm working on my master's.

Working on your master's what?

It's a college degree.

Oh, now, don't go mention

the word "college" around the senator.

It upsets him, but that's beside the point.

You want a job here or don't you?

Uh, uh, yes...

Uh, sir...

I-I do.

I needs the money.

Oh, well, that's all the more reason

for you to make good here.

Then when you get your college degree,

why, you've got a job here for life.

Man: Buzz!

Oh, I'll speak to you later.

You go around back in the kitchen, keep practicing, hear?

Buzz! Where are you?

I'm over here, senator.

I can't seem to see you.

Oh, it's these columns, senator.

They sort of get in the way.

Oh, nonsense.

Those columns haven't moved an inch in a hundred years.

Meet me down by the glider.

Yeah.

Fine job you done yesterday, buzz,

buying up all that land.

Yes, sir. Bought up the whole valley.

Except one little parcel.

That'll teach them bureaucrats

to stay where they belong in Washington.

[Chuckles]

Cheap electric power!

Why don't they build their dam on the potomac

instead of desecrating this heaven-given valley

with a lot of copper wire.

Electrocuting innocent bullfinches and sparrows.

Gentlemen...

The festering tides

of radicalism are upon us.

But before I yield up our glorious south

and her sister commonwealth, the U.S. of a.,

I will lay down my life.

I will do more than that.

I will filibuster.

Back, you crackpots.

Forward america.

Forward to the hallowed principles of our forefathers.

Forward to the sweet tranquility of the status quo!

Forward to yesterday!

[Siren wailing]

[Stonewall barking]

Man: What's the matter? What's going on?

Hey, what are you doing?

Help! Help!

Get this dog off me!

Get him off me!

Caught them dead to rights, senator.

Spank on your property.

Oh, damn it, sheriff,

can't you arrest a couple of chicken thieves

without disturbing the whole countryside?

Worse than chicken thieves this time, senator.

These are two geologists from Washington.

Geologists?

Two?

I only see one.

Senator, this is a geological survey of the soil in this area

in connection with the new dam.

I don't need nobody to tell me what's on my land.

Especially one of his kind.

Look, I read the findings on this meter.

It detected gold on your property this afternoon.

You found what on my property?

It located an amazing concentration of gold.

The meter reacted so violently, it broke the needle.

Oh, we're sorry about that needle, but we'll reimburse you.

Now, just where

did this unfortunate needle-breaking accident occur?

Parcel lot number seven,

right outside rainbow valley.

Oh, my god!

What are you mumbling about, buzz?

Invite these gentlemen up on the veranda.

It isn't every day that we're honored with the presence

of two distinguished scientists from Washington D.C.

Sorry, senator, we've got more ground to cover.

Gentlemen, I wish you'd accept my hospitality.

Senator?

That was the strip I told you about.

What strip?

The one we couldn't buy.

Well, now, gentlemen,

I'm sorry you've gotta rush off like this,

but you hurry back real soon, now, hear?

What do you mean we couldn't buy it?

Who bought it?!

I found out it was a man named finian mclonergan.

You yankee brain!

Why weren't you prepared for it?!

He's an immigrant.

An immigrant?!

My whole family's been having

nothing but trouble with immigrants

ever since they come to this country!

Now, don't you get excited, senator!

You'll feel better once you have your julep.

To hell with my julep!

Get me a bromo, quick!

Buzz: Howard!

Oh!

Howard! Bring the senator a bromo-seltzer, quick!

Yeah, and... and call my lawyer.

Tell him to find a loophole.

Where's that bromo? Oh.

Where's that bromo, Howard?

Rawkins: My loophole's choking me.

Oh, where's that bromo?

Coming, massa.

I's coming! I'm coming on in there!

Yes, suh!

Yeah, I'm coming, massa...

Will you hurry up on that bromo?

You sure gonna enjoy it, massa, once I get to you.

Buzz: Give him his bromo!

Comin' in there fast as I can, massa.

Will you hurry up with that?

Where is that bromo! Coming right in.

And that gonna fix up your head good, massa.

Sure gonna make you feel like you're fine.

Please, please hurry up with the bromo.

Buzz: Come on, Howard! Come on!

Hurry up!

Buzz: Howard, come on! Coming right in there.

Please bring me my...

Howard!

Oh, lord, I'm coming in.

[Crying]

Howard, come on!

Bring that! Get over here!

J'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

n is that Willow tree j'j'

j'j' still weepin' there? J'j'

j'j' does that laddie with the twinkling eye if

ooohhh!

J'j' come whistling by? M

j'j' and does he walk away if

j'j' sad and dreamy there? If

finian: Sharon!

Aye?

Haven't you laundered my shirt yet?

It's coming. It's coming.

J'j' not to see me there? J'j'

[n]

Hey, not so hard, lass.

You'll be wringing the Irish out of the linen.

Tis the neck of the mahoney I'm wringing.

Oh, good. Good, good.

Lovers' quarrel. Healthy sign.

Are you sure?

I know true devotion

when I see it.

I know a fine, upstanding

darling of a man when I see one.

Well, he's leaving for parts unknown

this very morning.

He's what? He's running out on you?

He's off to sell tobacco that doesn't burn.

- He's a schemer. - Well, you're rid of him, then.

An impractical dreamer.

Ooh, that's deplorable.

A total no-good bounder.

Ah, get the wretch out of your mind.

He's just like you.

Aye, a darling of a man.

Now, look. Now, just a minute.

Now, don't you be crying.

[Sobbing]

Ah! A special Rose.

For your hair.

It has magical properties.

A beautiful bride youfllbe.

All by myself, or is there a man involved?

Aye, there is.

He doesn't know it yet, but before sundown

Mr. Woody mahoney will find himself betroth-Ted to you.

"Betrothed."

"Betroth-Ted."

J'j' how are things j'j'

n“ in glocca morra? J'j'

n“ this j'j'

[echoes] N this r:

J'j' fi-i-n-e j'j'

j'j' fi-i-n-e j'j'

j'j' finer and finer j'j'

n fine day if

this is a pretty bucket of fish.

How would you be explaining these strange shenanigans?

[Hiccups]

If you won't speak, back into the well with you.

Oh, no! No!

So you've found your tongue.

Come on. Speak up for yourself.

What were you doing hiding?

I wasn't hidin'.

Someone set me on fire, and I had to put myself out.

Oh, I see.

Who put the torch to you?

Asunbeam.

A sunbeam?

A sunbeam disguised as a fairy queen.

But you can't fool me.

I know a sunbeam when I see one.

Thank you.

[Giggles]

You're very poetical, aren't you?

Don't come too close! I... I'll have to jump again!

[Hoots]

[Laughing] Aye.

I'm beginning to understand.

I've known that feeling me-self.

You have?

Well, only recently.

It came over me this morning,

as you were sunning your hair by the brook.

Is it a warmish...

Kind of glowish...

Kind of peculiarish sensation?

Oh, no, it's sort of a... Shiverish

kind of quiverish...

Flibberty-gibberish sensation.

Does it make you feel hummingbirds in your heart?

- Butterflies in my feet! - Bees in your bonnet?

Stars in my britches!

Does it make you want to dance?

I hadn't noticed.

- And sing? - Oh, it does.

It does!

J'j' something sweet j'j'

j'j' something sort of grandish n

j'j' sweeps my soul j'j'

j'j' when thou art near j'j'

j'j' my heart feels j'j'

j'j' so sugar candish j'j'

j'j' my head feels j'j'

j'j' so ginger beer j'j'

[laughing]

J'j' and something so dare-ish j'j'

j'j' so i-don't-care-ish j'j'

n stirs me from limb to limb n

j'j' it's so terrifish j'j'

j'j' magnifish j'j'

j'j' delish j'j'

ii to have such an amorish n

j'j' glamorous j'j'

n“ dish j'j'

h we could be if

j'j' oh, so bride-and-groomish j'j'

j'j' skies could be so bluish blue j'j'

j'j' life could be so love-in-bloomish n

n if my ishes could come true j'j'

J'j' thou art sweet j'j'

j'j' thou art sort of grandish j'j'

j'j' thou outlandish cavalier j'j'

j'j' from now on n

j'j' we're hand-in-handish j'j'

j'j' Romeo j'j'

j'j' and Guinevere j'j'

j'j' thou art so adorish j'j'

j'j' toujour I'amourish j'j'

j'j' I'm so cherchez la femme j'j'

j'j' why should I vanquish j'j'

j'j' relinquish, resish? J'j'

j'j' when I simply relish j'j'

n this hellish condish j'j'

n I might be m

n manish or mouse-ish j'j'

n I might be m

n a fowl or fish j'j'

j'j' but with thee j'j'

if I'm eisenhowish j'j'

j'j' please accept my proposish j'j'

both: If you're under my skinish n

j'j' so please be give-in-ish j'j'

j'j' or it's the beginish of the finish j'j'

j'j' of me j'j'

[splash]

[N]

[Whistling]

What was that splash?

Uh...'twas me.

Singing a duet.

A duet... by yourself?

Well, it could be, you know.

After all, I'm a witch, remember.

Train's pulling out soon.

I wanted to say goodbye.

Well... goodbye.

What kind of a goodbye is that?

The best kind. Short and sweet and final.

I'm getting a feeling that you're losing interest in me?

Sharon: Losing!

- I'm only going away... - Losing!

30's I can come back and make everybody rich.

Lost.

Sharon!

[Children laughing and singing]

J'j' we're having a party today if

n we're having a party we're having a party j'j'

j'j' oh, finian's party j'j'

j'j' we're having today if

n we're having a party we're having a party j'j'

j'j' we're having a party if

hey. What's going on?

N we're having a party we're having a party j'j'

j'j' oh, finian's party we're having today n

n we're having a party we're having a party j'j'

j'j' we're having a party if

what's the occasion, Mr. Mclonergan?

What? Haven't you heard the gossip?

My daughter Sharon's getting betroth-Ted today.

Singing a duet...

With herself.

J'j' we're having today if

j'j' Sharon's getting betroth-Ted j'j'

j'j' Sharon is getting betroth-Ted today n

j'j' Sharon's getting betroth-Ted... n

I hope you won't be taking it too hard, son,

but, then, you'll be leaving town anyhow.

Well, I got this deal cooking, Mr. Mclonergan. I...

I'm the first to understand when a man's got a deal cooking.

He's gotta to cook it, or it won't get cooked.

On the other hand, many a deal's cooked at home, in your own pot.

Of gold.

Gold?

Oh, but then again,

what is the cold, hard metal itself

compared to the golden hair of the girl you love?

- Nothing. - You're right.

Well, then, tell me this.

For what reason are you gallivanting

all over the countryside, promoting and cooking deals

when the lady you fancy's about to be betroth-Ted?

Well... who's she gonna marry?

I hope you won't be out there, taking it too hard.

Why should I? It's only love.

Well, that's a sensible attitude.

Right.

Wait a minute. Who's the guy? Now, who is he?

Well, now, if I tell you, you won't be making any trouble?

I promise.

Very well.

'Twas last night.

She met him in the forest.

And they sang about the moon.

Mr. Mclonergan, that was me.

- Oh, was it, now? - Yeah.

Are you sure?

Of course. It was me all along.

Well... that's a blessed relief.

[Both laughing]

Therefore, it's you that's getting betroth-Ted today.

Uh-uh. "Betrothed."

Ah, yes, "betrothed."

N Sharon's getting betroth-Ted j'j'

hey!

Finian mclonergan!

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

Henry: Susan's trying to tell us something.

Finian: What's she saying?

I can't tell. It's a secret.

Woody, you tell them.

Okay.

N“ a secret, a secret j'j'

j'j' she says she's got a secret j'j'

n“ a secret, a secret j'j'

n a secret kind of secret j'j'

j'j' she's aching for to shout it if

j'j' to every daffodil j'j'

j'j' and tell the world about it j'j'

n in fact, she says she will if

j'j' she says if

j'j' she says if

n if this isn't love n

n the whole world is crazy if

n if this isn't love n

j'j' I'm daft as a Daisy j'j'

j'j' with moons all around if

j'j' and cows jumping over if

j'j' there's something amiss j'j'

j'j' and I'll eat my hat if this isn't love j'j'

if I'm feeling like the apple j'j'

j'j' on top of William tell if

j'j' with this I cannot grapple j'j'

j'j' because n n because j'j'

j'j' you're so adora-ble n“

all: N if this isn't love if

m then winter is summer j'j'

m then winter's summer j'j'

Woody: N if this isn't love if n if this isn't love j'j'

j'j' my heart needs a plumber j'j'

m it needs a plumber j'j'

if I'm swinging on stars j'j'

if I'm riding on rainbows j'j'

j'j' he's riding rainbows j'j'

j'j' I'm busting with bliss j'j'

j'j' and I'll kiss your hand if this isn't love n

Sharon: N if this isn't love if

j'j' there's no glocca morra j'j'

n if this isn't love n

j'j' I'm zsa zsa gabor—a j'j'

n if this is a dream j'j'

j'j' and if I should wake up j'j'

j'j' will you hear a hiss? J'j'

n will my face be red if this isn't love? J'j'

if I'm getting tired of waiting and sticking to the rules if

n this feeling calls for mating j'j'

j'j' like birds j'j'

j'j' and bees j'j'

j'j' and other animals j'j'

chorus: N if this isn't love if

j'j' we're all seeing double j'j'

n if this isn't love n

n we're really in trouble j'j'

n“ if she's not the girl j'j'

j'j' and he's not the hero j'j'

chorus: N a kiss ain't a kiss n

ii it's a crisis, man if this isn't love if

n if this isn't love n

J'j' she's aching to shout it if

j'j' and tell the world about it j'j'

j'j' and I'll kiss your hand if

n if this isn't love n

[whistling]

[Man sobbing]

Oh, St. Patrick! Ohh!

Mary, ohh!

Mclonergan!

How dare you come back here?

Didn't I tell you you were an optical delusion?

Aye, I was ready to believe you yesterday, but not today.

Today I've got proof.

What proof?

Does an optical illusion feel,

oh, such a hungry yearning burning inside of him?

Does an optical illusion

feel the beat, beat, of the Tom-Tom

in the roaring traffic's boom

in his lonely room?

Do you mean you feel you're flying high and wide

on a magic carpet ride, full of butterflies inside?

What's worse, smoke keeps coming out of my eyes.

You go round and round like an elevator lost in the tide?

That's the feeling!

Day and night, night and day.

Give me your daughter, Mr. Mclonergan.

Me daughter? What's she gotta do with it?

She's the one who's under my skin.

- You're playing with fire. - And the fire's winning.

Oh, I...

I don't wanna be human.

I don't wanna be human.

- It's too inhuman. - Oh, you're neurotic.

Who's forcing you to be human?

You are, by keeping my crock of gold!

I'm not keeping it. I'm only leasing it.

A few more weeks and I'll return it with interest.

5 and a quarter little crocks.

I hope you're not gonna use it to make wishes, Mr. Mclonergan.

It's only good for three,

and after that, the crock becomes dross.

The way you talk,

anyone would think I never had a pot to wish on!

I'm... I'm sorry, Mr. Mclonergan.

I'm... I'm being a nuisance.

You're damn right you are.

You're worse than that.

You're the Nemesis on me premises.

You're endangering me whole project.

- Where's your passport? - What's that?

I thought so. You haven't got one.

How dare you come into a free country without a passport?

I'm legal all right. I came in as a Christmas tree.

But I'm not leaving till I see me crock!

And I'm seeing me congressman, senator rawkins.

I'm having you deported.

You're a member of a subversive underground group...

Taking its orders from Dublin.

[Children singing]

N Woody is getting betroth-Ted today n

j'j' Woody is getting betroth-Ted j'j'

n Woody is getting betroth-Ted today n

[children chattering]

Henry: Did you see our rooster?

Rooster?

I've got enough troubles of me own, thank you.

Oh, come on, help us! Come on!

What kind of a rooster was he?

[All talking at once]

He had pink around...

Green feet. And he had...

Wait a minute. Wait, wait!

How many roosters did you lose? All: One!

One rooster all those colors? All: Yeah!

Well...

Well, now, let me see, now.

Uh...

[Clucking]

Would this be it?

All: Yeah!

- He must be magic! - That's right.

Here you are. You get the prize.

Girl: Do you do other magical things too?

I do, but we'll have to act very quickly.

I think I need your help.

Will you help me? All: Yeah!

Now, listen.

Somewhere hidden in the ground around here

is a little yellow crock.

If any of you finds it for me,

you can pick anything you like here in my little magic book.

Girl: Oh, that's nothing.

We all have one of those.

Yes, but the difference between yours and mine

is that from mine you can have anything you choose.

- Can I have a banjo? - Can I get a fishing rod?

Can I have an elephant?

You can have anything you like

that's made in fairyland.

Without money?

J'j' there'll be things if

j'j' plenty-ish for allish j'j'

j'j' wondrish toys and magic tricks j'j'

n electrish trains and basketballish j'j'

j'j' mintish drops j'j'

j'j' and licorice sticks j'j'

j'j' life will be keenish j'j'

n all halloweenish j'j'

j'j' and jellybeanish j'j'

j'j' too j'j'

j'j' with ice cream and cake-ish j'j'

j'j' and soda to sup n“

j'j' and no bellyache-ish j'j'

j'j' to wake-ish you up j'j'

j'j' there will be such delicious dishes n

j'j' and we'll end this daffish plot j'j'

n for we'll go if

j'j' from rags to riches j'j'

j'j' when we find that goldish pot j'j'

n there'll be chocolate custish j'j'

j'j' with hot dogs and mustish n

j'j' but shears and robustish j'j'

j'j' must firstish come through if

[siren wailing]

You folks belong here?

All: Yeah!

You all live here on this property... together?

All: Yeah.

This is my property, your honor.

- Mclonergan. - Oh.

Now, Mr. Lonergan,

I understand that you got stuck with

this here arid, gopher-infested property a couple of days ago.

How would you like to unload it for, say, a profit of, uh...

30 percent?

'Tis the mclonergan theory giving birth to itself.

Now, what do you say?

Oh, I couldn't consider any proposition

for at least six months.

You see, I'm conducting certain experiments.

Come on, honey. We've got to...

Now, let me ask you, sir,

just what kind of experiments?

You see, father is a mineralogist

from the old country.

He can make gold sprout out of the ground.

Gold?

There ain't no gold in Ireland.

Finian: Oh, ho-ho!

I me-self discovered a vein

our countrymen have been searching for

ever since the reign of, Alfred the thoughtless.

Who?

You never heard of Alfred the thoughtless?

Uh-uh.

Well, he was king of Erin

following his father, Thomas the temporary,

who in turn was the only son of the virgin queen,

Serena the spotless.

Are you willing to sell this land, or ain't you?

I'm willin', and I'm wantin'...

But I'm waitin'.

I'm real sorry you said that.

It's gonna put me to the trouble of having to issue a writ of

seizure on all this land.

Here's the writ, senator.

Now, don't be crude, buzz.

I hate to do this to you, but... well...

You've been violating the law.

Since when? This afternoon.

I just finished drafting this.

[Clears throat]

"Local ordinance number 7428.

"Be it known that in the county of rainbow valley

it is a felony for members of the Caucasian and negro races..."

It would seem to me that this law could not be a legal law.

Of course it's legal.

I don't know where you immigrants

get all these foreign ideas.

From a wee book the immigration officer gave us.

It's called the United States constitution.

- Haven't you read it? - I don't have time to read it.

I'm too busy defending it!

I rest my case.

I wish you folks would understand our traditions.

I wish...

Don't get in the habit of making wishes on me property.

Well, it's not your property,

and I'll thank you to get off it.

And take your black friends with you.

Now, wait...

- I don't wanna go! - Shush, Henry.

You're taking this land away from these people

just because their skins are black?

- Don't let them chase us! - They won't.

Shut this kid up? He's making me look like a bully.

All right, sheriff, get them out of here.

You heard the senator.

You folks better start packing your things.

Is Henry the wrong color?

No, of course not.

He's the right color.

But there's something wrong with the world...

[G rowls]

I wish...

Finian: Sharon! Sharon.

Sharon: There's something wrong

with the world you and your kind have made for people like Henry.

I wish you could know what that world is like.

I wish to god you were black.

Oh! Ohh!

Oh, oh.

[Wind howling, thunder cracks]

I'm a son of a biscuit!

[Stonewall snarling]

Oh, my god.

What happened?

[Stonewall snarls] Stonewall.

Somebody get a doctor.

Oh, oh!

[Barking]

Father, what have I done?

You shouldn't be going round me property making wishes,

that's all.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, no!

Hey, sorry, buddy, but it's that great come-and-get-it day.

[Barking]

Uh, hi. What's going on?

The senator tried to take our land away from us.

And I lost me temper with him, and I shouted at him,

and he turned black right in front of my eyes.

Don't worry about that. It happens every time

he meets somebody that he disagrees with.

He sees red, then he turns purple with rage,

then he yells himself black in the face.

We're not gonna have to worry about rawkins anymore.

We're not gonna have to worry about anything anymore.

We got good news, a telegram for finian.

- Ooh! - For me?

- Let me see it. - Oh, no, no.

This is a singing telegram.

[Blows note]

J'j' dear sir j'j'

n after investigating your standing in the community n

j'j' and finding you to be a citizen h

j'j' of high character j'j'

if we have taken the Liberty n

j'j' of opening an unlimited charge account j'j'

n for you and your associates j'j'

j'j' signed, shears robust company if

[all cheering]

It says... it says,

"p.s. We hear gold has been discovered on your property.

Congratulations."

Gold? All: Gold!

[Crowd exclaiming]

Oh, no, wait!

- There's a mistake here. - Mistake?

Hey, well, wait a minute.

Woody: Hey, what about this here?

Hey, come on.

Hey, wait a minute.

Didn't you hear the telegram?

We got credit!

Wait.

Credit! Hey, hey, hold it.

You're gonna dig up this whole valley.

Woody, I've waited all my life

for a break like this.

Yeah, but...

Don't you see? Don't you know what credit means?

Credit means we could buy ourselves a tractor.

We could get ourselves a new planting machine,

some tools.

We can get some laboratory equipment for Howard.

We can get that new mentholated tobacco of ours burning.

We're gonna make ourselves more money that we could ever get

digging up gold from the ground.

He's right, you know.

All right, Woody. When?

We want it now, Woody.

We want it right now.

Crowd: Yeah!

Man: When, Woody? When?

When? Yeah, Woody. When?

N on that great come-and-get-it day n

chorus: J'j' great day if

j'j' won't it be fun when worry is done?

J'j' and money is hay n n money is hay j'j'

j'j' that's the time if

n things will come your way j'j'

j'j' coming our way if

j'j' on that great, great come-and-get-it day n

j'j' come-and-get-it day if

j'j' I'll a-get my gal j'j'

j'j' that calico gown j'j'

n I'll a-get my mule j'j'

j'j' that acre of ground j'j'

j'j' 'cause the word has come if

j'j' from Gabriel's horn j'j'

n the earth beneath your plow j'j'

n is a-buddin' and now it's yourn ii

j'j' glory, glory j'j'

j'j' glory time's comin' for to stay if

j'j' on that great, great come-and-get-it day n

j'j' come and get it if

j'j' come and get it if

m“ it says here says it in the good book ii

m it says a mighty morning is nigh j'j'

j'j' come and get it come and get it j'j'

j'j' come and get it if

j'j' universal fourth of July j'j'

j'j' hallelujah j'j'

j'j' gonna get your freedom j'j'

j'j' and pie j'j'

all: J'j' what a day for banjos ringin' j'j'

j'j' what a day for people in overalls n

j'j' can't you hear all the angels singin'? J'j'

j'j' come and get your gravy and your two meatballs j'j'

m says here if

j'j' bells will ring in every steeple n

j'j' come and get your test on the movie screen if

j'j' come, you free and you equal people if

j'j' come get your beer and your benzedrine j'j'

m says here if

j'j' come and get it come and get it, come j'j'

j'j' there's gonna be a world-shakin' j'j'

j'j' bread-breakin' day if

m says here if

can I have a waffle iron?

J'j' it's comin' to ya j'j'

m says here if

does that mean I get a new washing machine?

J'j' with your initials n“

m says here if

children: Hey, Woody, can we have a jukebox?

Says here.

[Girl squeals]

Hey, Woody, how 'bout a helicopter?

A helicopter?

All: J'j' hallelujah j'j'

n on that great come-and-get-it day n

j'j' won't it be fun when worry is done j'j'

j'j' and money is hay? Come-and-get-it day n

j'j' lots of fine things will come your way j'j'

j'j' on that great, great come-and-get-it day n

j'j' come-and-get-it day if

Sharon: Ii” my gown will be a calico gown j'j'

j'j' my feet will dance all over the town if

j'j' 'cause word has come j'j'

n from Gabriel's horn n chorus: J'j' from Gabriel's horn n

n the earth beneath your plow j'j'

n is a-buddin' and now it's yourn ii

j'j' glory time's j'j'

j'j' comin' for to stay n n for to stay if

j'j' on that great, great come-and-get-it j'j'

j'j' come and get it, yeah j'j'

j'j' keep it n n come and get it if

j'j' yeah, and share it if

all: J'j' come-and-get-it n

n“ day j'j'

j'j' come-and-get-it day if

["When the idle poor become the idle rich" playing]

J'j' when the idle poor become the idle rich n

j'j' you'll never know just who is who or who is which j'j'

j'j' won't it be rich when everyone's poor relative j'j'

j'j' becomes a rockefellertive j'j'

j'j' and palms no longer itch? J'j'

j'j' what a switch if

chorus: J'j' when we all have ermine and plastic teeth n

j'j' how will we determine who's who underneath? J'j'

j'j' and when all your neighbors are upper-class j'j'

n you won't know your joneses from your astors j'j'

j'j' let's toast the day if

n the day we drink that drinkie up n

n oh, but with the little pinkie up j'j'

n“ the day on which j'j'

all: N the idle poor j'j'

j'j' become the idle rich j'j'

J'j' when a rich man doesn't want to work if

j'j' he's a ban vivant j'j'

j'j' yes, he's a ban vivant j'j'

j'j' but when a poor man doesn't want to work if

j'j' he's a loafer he's a lounger n

j'j' he's a lazy good-for-nothin' j'j'

j'j' he's a jerk j'j'

j'j' when a rich man loses on a horse j'j'

j'j' isn't he the sport? J'j'

j'j' ho-ho, isn't he the sport? J'j'

j'j' but when a poor man loses on a horse j'j'

j'j' he's a gambler he's a spender j'j'

j'j' he's a lowlife he's a reason for divorce n

j'j' when a rich man chases after dames j'j'

j'j' he's a man about town if

j'j' oh, yes a man about town if

j'j' but when a poor man chases after dames j'j'

j'j' he's a bounder he's a rounder j'j'

j'j' he's a rotter and a lot of dirty names n

N when the idle poor become the idle rich j'j'

j'j' you'll never know just who is who n

j'j' or who is which if

n no one will see if

n the Irish or the slav in you if

n for when you're on park Avenue n

j'j' Cornelius and Mike j'j'

j'j' look alike j'j'

J'j' when poor tweedledum is rich tweedledee j'j'

n this discrimination will no longer be h

j'j' when we're in the dough and off of the nut j'j'

n you won't know your banker from your Butler j'j'

man: Come on, finian. Woman: Come on, finian.

Woman 2: Yay, finian. Man 2: Yeah, finian.

[People exclaiming]

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey

hey.

Hey.

Yoo!

Hey.

Hey.

People: Whoa!

J'j' let's make the switch j'j'

j'j' with just a few annuities j'j'

j'j' we'll hide those incongruities n“

n in cloaks from Abercrombie Fitch j'j'

j'j' when n n when n

n the idle poor n n the idle poor j'j'

j'j' become the idle rich n n become the idle rich m

j'j' when the idle poor j'j'

j'j' become the idle j'j'

n“ rich n“

[all cheering]

[Music stops playing]

[Music resumes playing]

Heel crowd: Oh!

Hee! Hee!

[Music stops]

[All cheering]

What a mess.

Well, I'm busy.

Oh.

Gotta clean this place up, man.

It's a fire trap.

[Chuckles]

I wish.

[Chuckles]

Mm-hmm.

- Huh? - Uh-huh.

Mmm-hmm.

- Mmm. - You see that?

Hmm!

- You think this...? - Mm-hmm!

Huh?

- Are you sure? - I think... uh...

Are you sure?

No.

Let's try it. Come on.

Huh...

[Train whistle blowing in distance]

Yeah.

I gotta admit something to you, Howard.

All right.

I never really...

I never really thought this day would come, you know?

[Both chuckle]

Yeah.

Ohhh.

Come on. Come on.

It burns!

It burns! Ha, ha, ha!

You did it, Howard. You did it!

- You did it. - Ha, ha, ha!

Yeah!

It burns. Burns!

I think it's gone out. Here.

Oh, no, no, no. Still burning.

[Blows]

Oh.

Na, na-na.

It burns, Howard.

But it doesn't smoke.

Give it to me.

Woody, quick! The sheriff's by the brook.

Huh?

Come on! You got lead in your pants?

[Puffing]

Doesn't smoke?

[N]

[People murmuring]

Woody: What's going on here?

Sheriff: This is the da, Woody.

You'd better talk respectful.

How does this concern you?

This is my fiancee.

Well, how nice.

Then I'll ask you.

What do you know about the whereabouts of senator rawkins?

Nothin', and neither does she.

There's 50 witnesses saw her do her mumbo jumbo.

In the split-second she did, rawkins turned black.

Disappeared.

Ah, it's crazy talk.

Folks around here gettin' nervous.

Could be dangerous.

Now, you're supposed to keep law and order around here,

not this white suit.

That's why we're conducting this, uh,

preliminary investigation

on charge of witchcraft.

Woman: Witchcraft!

Witchcraft? Hmm.

- You gotta be kidding. - Concludes Tuesday,

by which day rawkins had better be produced...

In the flesh.

Well, I'm sorry, but, uh, we're gonna be busy on Tuesday.

We're getting married.

Da: Don't count on that...

Or anything else

if rawkins isn't back.

Bye!

[Siren wailing]

Oh, Woody, you're grandish!

You made me deliriously happy.

Happy?

Trouble makes you happy?

Come on!

No, you make me happy-

you don't even know why, do you?

No. Why?

Because you said it, and you said it all by yourself.

You volunteered it without me, without magic,

without me father twisting and tricking you into it.

What did I say?

That I'm your fiancée,

which is to say... I'm your love.

Ah, it's grandish!

We're gonna get married on Tuesday.

That's grandish!

Didn't know what I was saying.

- Grandish! - Something came over me.

- Oh! - Just like a spell come over me.

Hey, wait. Wait a minute, now.

It ain't true, is it?

Ain't what true?

About you being a witch.

Of course it's true.

J'j' me and my glance j'j'

j'j' make this romance j'j'

j'j' too hot to handle j'j'

j'j' stars in the night if

j'j' blazing their light j'j'

j'j' can't hold a candle j'j'

j'j' to my razzle-dazzle j'j'

j'j' oh, you if

j'j' got me flying high and wide j'j'

j'j' yeah j'j'

ii on a magic carpet ride j'j'

j'j' oooh j'j'

j'j' full of butterflies inside j'j'

n I wanna cry j'j'

n I wanna croon j'j'

j'j' yeah n n I wanna laugh like a loon n

j'j' it's that old devil moon j'j'

n“ in your eyes n“

j'j' yeah j'j'

j'j' oh, oh, oh-oh-oh j'j'

j'j' oh, yeah j'j'

Kiss me.

[Thunder crashing]

[Thunder crashes]

[Thunder crashes]

[Thunder crashes]

[N]

[Wolf howls in distance]

Og: J'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

n is that little stream still laughin' at me there? If

j'j' does the Lassie with the twinklin' eye if

j'j' come whistlin' by h

j'j' and does she run away if

j'j' sad and dreamy there if

j'j' not to see me there j'j'

j'j' so I ask each weeping Willow j'j'

j'j' and each brook... j'j'

give me that, boy!

[Laughs]

You don't have to grab, mister.

There's plenty of apples around.

I don't see any.

Because you're mortal!

[Laughs]

You're mortal!

Mortals can never see all the apples there are to be had.

H an apple here an apple there j'j'

[laughs]

J'j' little red apples everywhere j'j'

[laughs]

You must be very hungry. Would you like a sandwich?

Yes. Nice Virginia ham.

This here's cheese!

I ordered ham.

Forced to eat cheese.

Forced to hide out like a...

Like a hunted possum!

Who are you hiding from?

My associates, my people, my dog,

my whole way of life.

I can't show myself like this.

What's wrong with you?

Are you blind, boy?

Can't you see I'm black?

I think it's very becoming.

Well, it isn't!

I'm a white man, damn it! I'm a white man.

Least I was up until a couple of days ago.

Well, there's a coincidence.

I was green a couple of weeks ago.

Don't you find the occasional change of color interesting?

No, I don't! And they won't get away with it, I tell you.

They won't get away with it!

You needn't get so excited, mister.

I think it's just ridiculous,

making such a fuss about a person's color.

Well, you don't realize

what it's like being black around here.

But you're human!

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose is a Rose,

despite the color of your nose.

You don't understand, boy.

You're nothing when you're black, nothing.

Nothing? Who says so?

The law says.

Well, it's a silly law.

But is it a legal law?

Of course it's legal! I wrote it myself.

- Change it back again. - How am I gonna do that?

You said you had it changed few days ago.

I said no such thing. Some bitch wished it on me.

A witch? A witch! I can help you there.

What sort of a witch was she?

How do I know? I didn't look her up in who's who.

She's must be in which is which.

In this book is listed all the witches, their curses and cures.

Oh, go away, will you?

I see your trouble now, mister.

Youte too unfriendly.

I'm in no condition for friendship!

That witch's fault.

She gave you a new outside,

and she should have given you a new inside.

That's very incompetent.

Will you go away?!

This will give witchcraft a bad name.

It'll set the entire profession back a hundred years.

I'll have to do something about it.

My reputation's at stake.

We'll have to alter your personality.

Stand up, please, sir.

Huh?

Why don't you leave me alone?

This won't be too hard.

All we have to do is to broaden out that narrow mind a little,

reduce some of that bigotry,

and your pomposity won't show through at all.

Wait till they see you in your new spring psyche.

People will say you're in love.

Now.

Fiddle, foddle foil and fiddle

cure this fuddled individdle

well, ye waters, and unwind this tangled medieval mind

breath of bee

and bluebird's wing

make this scowling spirit sing

balm of briar sandalwood

season him with brotherhood

magic vapors make this person

a better person...

Not a worse'UN

[snoring]

He sleeps.

The cure is beginning to work!

J'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

[laughing]

[Birds chirping]

[Snoring]

[Snorts]

Oh.

Ohh!

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh!

J'j' oh, dem golden slippers j'j'

j'j' oh, dem golden slippers j'j'

j'j' golden slippers I laid away j'j'

j'j' can't touch till my wedding day, ho ho n

j'j' dem golden slippers j'j'

j'j' oh, dem golden slippers j'j'

j'j' golden slippers I laid away j'j'

j'j' until my wedding day ho j'j'

j'j' oh, dem golden slippers j'j'

j'j' oh, dem golden slippers golden slippers j'j'

brother! You're the voice in the wilderness.

Allow me the honor of shaking your hand.

Why, well, thank you, friends.

Nice to be able to talk to somebody again.

Just who may I ask

do we have the unexpected pleasure of meeting up with?

Just call me bill.

You folks from around here?

We're from around everywhere.

Yeah, we travel and we sing.

Haven't you ever heard of the passion pilgrim gospeleers?

Well, I've kind of been out of touch with the gospel recently.

Why, we're the prizewinningest gospel-singingest quartet

east of the rockies!

Quartet? Why, there's only three of you.

Well, you see, brother,

we suffered a casualty last night.

Yes, there was our number four man, Russ,

suddenly taken with temptation.

And in desperation he cried out,

"get thee behind me, Satan."

And Satan got...

And Satan pushed...

And he pushed him...

Right into the arms of a bouncing babylonian jezebel

from Biloxi, Mississippi.

Oh, the soul was strong,

but the flesh was weak.

And that's why divine Providence led us to you.

You may be bill,

but that voice inside you is Russ.

Well, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I've had a lot of shuffling around lately.

Well, your shuffling days are over.

Why, with your voice,

we could go right on being a prizewinning quartet.

You mean I can make a living just singing with you?

There's a handful of ways.

Either you tote that box...

Lift that bale... Shine that shoe...

Or sing.

We sing.

But before we do,

somebody's either gotta get buried

or somebody's gotta get married.

Over in rainbow valley,

there's a couple just aching to be spliced.

And a $20 bill just aching to be split.

Will you join us?

Brothers, you are now a quartet.

Ha-ha-ha! Good!

Now, in preparation for this ceremony,

we take our text from Genesis,

wherein it says...

"Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel."

From thence on, the history of the world

is just the history of who begat who.

Well, then what do I sing in that?

Oh, you carry the big theme of this song.

You stress the word "begat."

And keep stressing it.

Can you remember that?

I got it.

N“ oh j'j'

n I got it j'j'

n I got it j'j'

n I got it j'j'

all: Ii we got it if

n the lord made Adam the lord made Eve j'j'

if he made them both a little bit naive n

n they lived as free as the summer breeze j'j'

j'j' without pajamas and without chemise j'j'

j'j' until they stumbled on the apple trees j'j'

m“ then she looked at him n

n and he looked at her if

j'j' and they knew immediately what the world was for n

n he said "give me my cane" n

ii he said "give me my hat" n

all: N the time has come if

j'j' to begin the begat j'j'

rawkins: N the begat, the begat n

all: J'j' so they begat Cain and they begat Abel j'j'

j'j' who begat the rabble at the tower of babel j'j'

j'j' they begat the cohens j'j'

j'j' they begat o'rourkes j'j'

j'j' and they begat the people who believed in storks j'j'

j'j' lordy, lordy how they did begat n

j'j' how they be-be-begat j'j'

j'j' even more than that n“

n when the begat got to gettin' under par j'j'

j'j' they begat the daughters of the bar. J'j'

j'j' they begat the babbies of the bourgeoisie j'j'

j'j' who begat the misbegotten vip n

j'j' they begat j'j'

j'j' boom boom, they begat boom boom j'j'

if it was pleasin' to jezebel pleasin' to Ruth j'j'

m“ it pleased the league of women shoppers in duluth j'j'

j'j' though the movie censors tried the facts to hide n

n the movie-goers up and multiplied n

n lordy, lordy how they multiplied n

j'j' how they multiplied j'j'

j'j' how they multiplied j'j'

j'j' soon it swept the world if

all: N every land and lingo n

m it became the rage j'j'

rawkins: If it was bigger than bingo j'j'

all: N the white begat the red begat n

n the folks who shoulda stood in bed begat j'j'

n the Greeks begat the Swedes begat n

[British accent] J'j' why, even britishers in tweed begat j'j'

all: J'j' and lordy, lordy what their seeds begat j'j'

n the lapps and Lithuanians j'j' rawkins: J'j' begat j'j'

j'j' Scranton pennsylvanians n n begat j'j'

j'j' strict vegetarians n n begat j'j'

j'j' honorary aryans n n“ begat j'j'

j'j' starting from Genesis n rawkins: N they begat j'j'

j'j' heroes and menaces n n begat j'j'

m black filibusterers n n begat j'j'

j'j' income tax adjusterers n n begat j'j'

all: J'j' 'twas naturaler and naturaler to begat j'j'

j'j' and sometimes a bachelor n n he begat j'j'

if it didn't matter which-a-ways they begat n

j'j' sons of habitués begat j'j'

if so bless them all n if so bless them all if

j'j' who go to bat n n who go to bat j'j'

j'j' and heed the call if

j'j' of the begat j'j'

Choir: J'j' look, look look to the rainbow n

j'j' follow it over the hill and stream n

n look, look look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow who follows a dream j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow who follows a dream j'j'

j'j' 'twas a sumptuous gift j'j'

j'j' to bequeath to a child j'j'

n for the lure of that song j'j'

j'j' keeps my head runnin' wild j'j'

if so I searched all the earth if

j'j' and I scanned all the skies j'j'

j'j' and I found it at last j'j'

n in my own true love's eyes n

choir: J'j' look, look look to the rainbow n

j'j' follow it over the hill and stream... j'j'

dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...

Sheriff: Stand back, everybody.

To join this man and this woman...

[Crowd chattering]

Don't want any trouble here.

Just what do you want?

Miss Sharon mclonergan?

Mrs. Sharon mahoney in a few minutes, if you don't mind.

[Organ resumes playing, choir resumes singing]

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

ah, ah, ah. To join this man and this woman...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I got a warrant for your arrest.

On what charge?

People of the state v. Miss Sharon mclonergan.

Buzz: The charge is demotin'.

Demotin'?

Demotin' a member of the white race,

namely senator rawkins,

down to a member of the negro race.

By means of witchcraft.

There's a law against witchcraft in this state.

Yes, I know. It was passed in 1690.

I think it's about time we repealed that law!

Right now! Crowd: Yeah!

Yeah!

[Crowd clamoring]

Sheriff: Hold it! Hold it, I says!

Arrest that witch.

All right, bill. Do your duty.

Sure thing.

All right, come and get me, then!

Bill: Arrest her, Sam! Arrest her!

Come on!

Sam, arrest her!

I'm only the second deputy.

You're the first deputy.

Sheriff, quit stalling! Arrest her!

Let's turn them into pumpkins and put candles in, Sharon!

Crowd: Yeah!

Don't you try any hocus-pocus.

You can't goofer us now. That there's lizard dust.

Lizard dust?

Witchcraft?

Well, you don't really believe I'm a witch, do you?

- Here. - Ow!

Now, wait a minute now.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen, don't let her bedevil you.

A witch she is, and a witch she's always been.

Finian...

He's touched in the head. He doesn't know what he's saying.

Oh, yes, I do. By... b-by the age of 10,

she'd already developed her uncanny powers

and was changing me good whiskey into milk.

It was a crisis!

From then on, one change led to another,

and now you're all witnesses to this unhappy climax.

She's changed a white man into a black...

Let me talk to you a minute. Woody, don't...

Leave me, Woody, I'm doing the right thing.

Sheriff: All right, let's go.

Wait a minute!

You know, uh, b-being a witch,

she can also change a black man into a white.

You mean she can make rawkins white again?

Or any other color that your honor pleases.

Da: All right!

Ooh!

Turn him into a white man now.

Now, just a minute. I got something to say about that.

Buzz: By god!

It's senator rawkins.

Calm yourself, senator,

you're in no position to have opinions right now.

Who's in a better position?

Boy, can I see both sides of this question!

How much time will she need?

Well, for a bit of a thing like that,

I would say, uh... Until the crack of dawn.

Rawkins: I will not be used as evidence

in any witchcraft trial!

Yeah! [Crowd cheers]

Take him, boys. He's exhibit a.

Her too.

[Crowd clamoring]

Now... come on, now.

Look, for your own safety's sake, your honor,

if I were you, I wouldn't be trying to move her. Or him.

All right.

The crack of dawn.

Or it'll be the crack of doom, hear?

All right, sheriff. Move 'em all out but these two.

Clear everybody out of here!

Come on! Move them on out of here.

Howard: No, sit down!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a...

Sit down.

Get out of here, boy!

Get that boy out of here!

The crock's in the ground, and all's well with the world.

[N]

It's gone!

It's gone. It's not here.

Leprechaun! Og!

Nemesis! Og!

Og: Sharon!

Sharon mclonergan!

Sharon?

Sharon!

[Weakly] Look at me, Sharon.

I'm 90-percent mortal now.

And 100-percent miserable.

It's a frenzy, a frenzy.

The only cure for it is you.

Sharon?

I feel better already just being near you.

The scent of your hair, the touch of your hand.

Oh, the miracle of it, the miracle of it!

The sweet, sweet miracle of it.

She loves me!

Herhand fits me cheek.

Oh, Sharon, you're the only one!

The only one.

You're not Sharon at all!

You're Susan the silent.

Yet I still I feel the same frenzy for you.

Is this what it's like to be mortal?

Is every girl the only girl?

I'm beginning to like it.

J'j' oh, my heart is beating wildly j'j'

j'j' and it's all because you're here if

j'j' when I'm not near the girl I love if

n I love the girl I'm near j'j'

j'j' every femme that flutters by me if

n is a flame that must be fanned n

j'j' when I can't fondle j'j'

n the hand I'm fond of n

n I fondle the hand at hand if

j'j' my heart's in a pickle j'j'

j'j' it's constantly fickle j'j'

j'j' and not too partickle I fear n

j'j' when I'm not near j'j'

n the girl I love if

n I love the girl I'm near j'j'

Sharon!

I mean Susan.

Susan!

J'j' what if they're tall and tender? J'j'

j'j' what if they're small and slender? J'j'

j'j' long as they got that gender j'j'

n“ I surrender j'j'

j'j' always I can't refuse 'em j'j'

j'j' always my feet pursues 'em j'j'

j'j' long as they've got a bosom j'j'

n I woos 'em j'j'

N I love the girl I'm near j'j'

J'j' when I'm not near j'j'

n the girl I love if

n I love the girl I'm near j'j'

If I'm confessing a confession j'j'

j'j' and I hope I'm not verbose j'j'

n when I'm not close to the kiss that I cling to n

n I cling to the kiss that's close if

j'j' as I'm more and more a mortal j'j'

n I am more and more a case m“

j'j' when I'm not facing the face that I fancy n

n I fancy the face I face if

n for Sharon I'm carin' j'j'

j'j' but Susan I'm choosin' j'j'

if I'm faithful to whos'n is here if

j'j' when I'm not near j'j'

n the girl I love if

n I love the girl j'j'

j'j' I'm near j'j'

so there you are!

The wrath of ozymandias on you!

From dusk to sunup, I've searched forest and hill,

and now I find you philandering with a woman in your arms!

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong?! At a moment like this?

Have you forgotten me daughter, Sharon?

I have not!

She's the woman I love.

Present company excepted.

Have you forgotten the shamrock of her eyes,

and her voice like the bells of St. Mary's?

Has anything happened?

Indeed, it has.

Finian: This is her last sunrise.

20 minutes from now at the crack of dawn,

the glory that was once Sharon

and the boy that was her beloved will perish in smoke

and flame!

I told you the gold could only bring you doom and gloom.

Gloooooom and doooooom!

Don't blame the gold!

You're the culprit!

- [7 -a I v e, you!

If you weren't a leprechaun, you'd have had no pot of gold,

and I wouldn't have been forced to borrow it,

I wouldn't have come here,

and me daughter wouldn't have been burned at the stake for witchcraft!

It's my fault. It's all my fault!

Oh, the merciful saints forgive me.

[Screams]

Herpoon broken father

will forgive you too,

if you'll just spare magic for her.

0g: Oh, anything, Mr. Mclonergan. I'd do anything!

Finian: Then turn the senator white again,

and save Sharon's life. Og, we've only 20 minutes!

Well, sambo.

You don't look like you lightened up a smidgen.

I'd do it in a minute. We'd have 19 minutes left.

Thank heavens. I knew you wouldn't fail me.

Hey! Why not wait 19 minutes

and leave it all to the last minute?

It's more dramatic.

[Giggles] Now, 09. Now!

It's a matter of life and death!

Very well, Mr. Mclonergan.

I'll just be needing one thing from you.

What is it you need? Speak up, man!

The crock of gold. [Gasps]

Give me the strength to resist me own strength

to keep from choking him to death!

How can you stand there that brazen

pretending ya haven't got it? I haven't got it!

If you don't, why can't I find it? I've dug more holes

than all the gophers in christendom!

Think back to the night you buried it.

What were you doing?

I don't know where it is. How would I know? I wouldn't...

I was standing with a jug of whiskey in one hand

and the crock of gold in the other...

You must've buried the jug and swallowed the crock!

Why you machiavellian little half-pint pirate!

Stealing me property! I want it back. I tell you!

Oh, please, Mr. Mclonergan. I really...

- Where is it? - I haven't got it!

Finian: I'll throttle it out of you!

Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?

Why, you perfidious little wretch!

Og:

I'll throttle it out of you!

I don't know where it is!

Now, where is it?

| wish I... [chokes]

Where is it?

I wish I... agh!

It's almost dawn.

[N]

Finian: They can't do it to her.

It'll be one of me or a hundred of them!

09.09.

If you have a mite of merciful magic left in you,

help me save me daughter's life, will you now?

Oh, Susan. It's a crisis.

A crisis.

They're gonna burn Sharon for a witch.

She's not a witch.

She must've been standing by the crock

when she made the wish.

Susan, you must have been there!

Where was Sharon standing?

Where...? Where was she...?

Oh, it's no good asking you. You can't hear me.

I'll have to ask somebody else.

There's no time.

Look, Susan, come here.

Sit down.

Look, I'll dance you the questions,

and you dance me the answers.

You see what I mean? Questions, answers, right?

[Humming]

I'll put it another way.

[Humming]

Ooph!

[Spitting]

[Humming]

Susan, Susan, Susan.

You're a darling girl, and I love you very much,

but I just wish to god you could talk.

I love you.

Hmm?

I love you.

What beautiful new words.

Will you say them again?

I love you.

She loves me.

She loves me!

You're talking, Susan!

Where was Sharon standing?

I love you!

You io... oh, I know that!

But you're talking.

That means I must have wished you into it.

Which means I must have been standing over the crock!

The crock!

The crock!

It looks like you are permanently a black man.

[People talking indistinctly] [Man laughs]

Oh, my heavens, what have I done?

[N]

The crock!

[Chuckles]

There's only one wish left.

The last one.

If I use it to wish the senator white...

I'll never be a leprechaun again.

[People clamoring]

We've gotta sound the alarm.

Yes. Mr. Rogers, sound the alarm.

Fire.

Fire.

J'j' fire j'j'

but I don't wanna be mortal!

I wanna go back to fairyland.

Fairyland was never like this!

Where is she?

Rawkins, you blackguard, I wish you white!

[Thunder crashes]

She turned him white!

He's done it!

Thank you, 09.

Man: Release those prisoners!

Crowd: Let them out! Let them go!

[Clanging]

[Siren wailing]

Put it out! Put it out!

Man: Come on! Keep that water coming in here!

Keep the water coming!

- Keep the water coming! - Keep the water coming!

Keep the water coming!

Keep the water coming!

Keep the water coming!

Susanis talking!

Susan's talking!

Susan's talking!

Susan's talking.

Susan's talking.

Susan's talking.

Susan's talking!

Susan...

Susan's talking?

Woody!

Susan's talking!

What?

Susan's talking!

- Is it true? - Mm-hmm.

Well, say something, will you?

I've been waiting 20 years to hear you!

Isn't it grandish, Woody?

Ahhhh!

[Laughs]

Oh, so you used the crock to wish back Susan's tongue.

Aye.

And you used up the last wish.

And now the crock has turned to worthless dross.

Aye, right, Mr. Mclonergan. Dross.

Oh, no!

Worthless dross.

Hey, Woody! Over here!

The lab's going!

Howard: Four years of sweat and work,

and it's all going up in smoke!

It's all right, Howard. We're gonna put it right out.

Oh, now, it's smoking!

Homegrown mentholated smoke!

[Cheering]

It burns! It burns!

[Both laugh]

Sharon: N I searched all the earth n

j'j' and I scanned all the skies n“

Woody: N and I found it at last j'j'

n in my own true love's eyes j'j'

choir: J'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow it over the hill and stream n

j'j' look, look j'j'

j'j' look to the rainbow j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow who follows a dream j'j'

j'j' follow the fellow who if

j'j' follow the fellow j'j'

choir: J'j' follow the fellow j'j'

j'j' who follows a dream j'j'

Minister: I now pronounce you man and wife.

[People coo]

[Both laugh]

[Crowd cheering]

Father!

Are you leaving us?

Aye. I've had fort Knox.

Oh, I see.

[N]

Things are indeed hopeless.

Hopeless, but they're not serious.

[Tearfully] But where are you going?

Oh... to find me a rainbow.

Finian's rainbow.

It never fails to come up when a mclonergan is down.

Surely, there may not be a pot of gold at the end of it,

but there's a beautiful new world under it.

Make it shine on Sharon.

[Weeps]

Goodbye, my darling.

Goodbye, me friends.

I'll see you all in glocca morra.

Hey!

Hey!

Sharon, where is glocca morra?

Oh...

Well, you see, it's always somewhere...

Over there.

J'j' soto j'j'

j'j' every weepin' Willow n

j'j' to each brook along the way if

j'j' to each lad who comes a-whistlin' j'j'

j'j' too-ra-lay j'j'

n may we meet in glocca morra j'j'

j'j' some fine day j'j'

choir: J'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

n is that little brook still leaping there? If

j'j' does it still run down to Donny cove j'j'

n through killybegs kilkerry and kildare? J'j'

j'j' how are things in glocca morra? J'j'

n is that Willow tree still weeping there? J'j'

j'j' does that laddie with a twinkling eye if

j'j' come whistling by n

j'j' and does he walk away if

j'j' sad and dreamy there if

j'j' not to see me there? J'j'

all: J'j' so I ask each weeping Willow j'j'

j'j' and each brook along the way j'j'

j'j' and each lad that comes a-whistling n

j'j' too-ra-lay j'j'

j'j' how are things in glocca morra j'j'

n“ this fine day? If