Original subtitles

Previously on Ezra.

If you're wondering what the fuck is going on

literally same.

Wait a minute. Are you like one of those transformers?

How much more time you need?

Just about finished.

Oh my Ga Ga.

Remembrance club?

Mm Hmm, Lots of people are being like

violently murdered right now.

And we love the gays!

I'm an LGBT plus community ally!

Hello.

Hi, lesbo.

What do you want?

Heads up, Ian from economics is coming.

Hey Ezra.

So, what did you get?

Oh, I got an iced vanilla oat milk latte.

Safe bet, it's the same everywhere you go.

It's the usually...

You good man?

Never better.

The worst part about eating is

that humans totally freak out when they see you doing it.

Like, okay sis.

You can eat a cow, but I can't eat your brother?

There is a serious hypocrisy problem with the species

that I will never understand.

I mean, they aren't all bad.

Shit.

Outta your weird juice?

Yeah.

Web alert, JJ James has a show tonight.

How do people still support him?

I thought he was canceled?

Yeah. What did he do again?

Pedo. Major, like the first degree.

He was all over the news last year.

He was flying out under each girl, snapping them.

Just gross straight male behavior.

Ew, JJ James is coming to town.

What a freak.

Wow. At least there's one thing we have in common.

Oh, look! It's Walmart Wednesday and Pugsley Adams.

And it's the K-mart Barbie rejects.

And I just got another assignment.

Fuck me.

You think I could order a noose online?

Probably.

Amaze.

Get a muffin or something.

So, why are you gonna go see that scumbag tonight?

Hello?

We, we're not seeing him, seeing him. Okay?

I'm just curious of the types of people who would see him.

I'm a psych major.

Keep up.

Oh, well my sincerest apologies professor.

Thank you.

Okay. But now the important question, what do I wear?

Because I have to look good for the freak show.

I think you look good in anything.

Anyways.

I heard tonight's gonna JJ's last show.

Ouch.

You hungry?

Starving.

Ezra, I don't wanna see some fucking sicko.

Okay, we'll be in and out in one minute.

Just quickly.

Ugh, I can smell the date rape in the air.

Yeah, well you're not wrong.

Okay. Don't kill me,

but I have to go the bathroom.

Ezra, if you fucking leave me...

I'll be right back...

I'm going to kill you, Ezra...

Hey, Beautiful.

I got a Dick and 20 bucks says it's

bigger than yours, pal.

I can work with that.

Impressive.

And not the turn I thought this would take.

Oh my God, JJ!

I am such a fan.

Thanks, man.

You really need to step up your security though.

Yeah, clearly.

You want a photo or something?

I was hoping to get a meet and greet.

Yeah, you're you're here now. So...

Yeah, but I was hoping to get the uncensored version.

Funny.

Get out.

Get out, I didn't say you could come in.

I thought you didn't ask for consent.

My fucking security ain't gonna ask

for fucking consent when we throw you outta here, bro.

Whoa, is that any way to talk to your elders?

Elders? You're like 23.

Get out!

Oh my God. A Pedo and a flirt.

I love it.

I'm actually 559, but who's counting?

Security!

Sorry, but I don't respect safe words.

You know what the worst thing is

about men like you?

You always get away with it.

Ezra?

Ezra?

Ezra?

Ezra?

Is that?

Is he dead?

Yes.

Oh, thank fuck!

You know, that son of a bitch got out on six attempts of

child molestation and sex trafficking.

Money can't save you now, fucker!

Is the blood tricking thing really necessary though?

So...

I'm a vampire and...

Cool story, Edward.

I don't fucking care.

The courts didn't get him.

So, I'm glad somebody did.

Just don't kill me.

Okay?

No promises.

Okay, hurry up so we can get out.

You owe me McDonald's for dragging me here.