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Previously on "Ezra."
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00:00:03,793 --> 00:00:06,003
But I like tea.
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00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:10,067
We're so sorry to
see you go, I mean,
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00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:12,338
we would love to have
people like you in our club.
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00:00:12,344 --> 00:00:14,524
Just leave your
email at the door.
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00:00:14,517 --> 00:00:15,857
People like what?
7
00:00:15,862 --> 00:00:17,282
You know, diverse?
8
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:20,692
Do you even talk
to your family?
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00:00:20,689 --> 00:00:22,169
Does Satan still
talk to Jesus?
10
00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,342
At all? Not even cool cousins?
11
00:00:24,344 --> 00:00:28,004
I have one cousin and
she's actually insane.
12
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,790
Like, trust me, these
people are wicked.
13
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,070
Did you hear?
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00:00:37,206 --> 00:00:38,786
We found your
little cousin, Ezra.
15
00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:40,657
What?
16
00:00:59,689 --> 00:01:01,549
If you're wondering
what the fuck is going on?
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00:01:01,551 --> 00:01:02,761
Literally, same.
18
00:01:04,241 --> 00:01:05,691
As part of my psychology degree,
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00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:08,409
I have to run student-led
counseling sessions.
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00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:11,243
And when I was
eight, my mom explained
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00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:14,411
that maybe my dad
would've stayed if I'd
eaten my vegetables
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00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:16,593
but that only made me
hate vegetables more.
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As you can see,
Derek is getting pretty close
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00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:21,998
to a major breakthrough.
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Faculty doesn't care
that these sessions
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00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,171
are a huge waste of time,
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00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,592
or that most of the
psychology students
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00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:29,856
end up giving terrible
advice; frankly, neither do I.
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00:01:31,068 --> 00:01:33,068
It's not like I'm here
to give advice anyway,
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I'm just here to
browse the menu.
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00:01:35,758 --> 00:01:40,068
And I've done everything,
man, but I can't go near
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a piece of fucking broccoli
without getting sick.
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Have you tried drinking? Sex?
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00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:48,859
Light drug use.
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00:01:48,862 --> 00:01:49,832
Uh.
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00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,757
Grinder? Scruff?
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00:01:51,758 --> 00:01:54,028
Uh no, I've
been avoiding those things.
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00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:55,454
Why?
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00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,718
I'm trying to find healthier
ways to deal, to cope,
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00:01:58,724 --> 00:02:00,384
to better myself.
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00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:01,619
Okay.
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00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:05,480
Listen, Derek, you're
gonna die someday,
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00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:07,692
probably by some freak accident
when you fall off cliff
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00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:09,519
or get bludgeoned
death by the puritans
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for wearing cuff jeans and
yes, I picked up on that, mama.
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00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:17,970
You gotta ask yourself,
"What really matters?"
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00:02:17,965 --> 00:02:19,825
Is sitting around
wishing mommy and daddy
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00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:22,897
were drinking mimosas on
the beach truly helpful?
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00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:23,996
Exactly.
50
00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:28,663
Well would you look at
the time, oh my gosh,
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thank you so much for coming.
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00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:33,552
Thank you for coming.
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00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:39,763
Go home.
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00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:42,548
Write out a list of all the
things you look forward to,
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00:02:43,689 --> 00:02:45,279
this way you can
focus on the future
56
00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:46,755
and not obsess about the past;
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trust me, it's not worth it.
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Okay, fuck that.
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00:02:58,862 --> 00:03:01,692
Here's Mr. Broccoli,
just relax, calm down.
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00:03:02,896 --> 00:03:05,656
Take him out, have a
drink, have a cocktail,
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00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:06,825
show him a good time.
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00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,030
Just really get to
know each other.
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00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:15,517
Yeah.
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00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:28,414
Brutal.
65
00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:34,170
Reminder for all students,
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use the buddy system while
entering the school locker room.
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00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:47,309
♪ Me and my girls
yeah call us a coven ♪
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00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,000
♪ When it comes to lovin'
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00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,970
♪ They got my back when I go
on trustin' boys like you ♪
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00:03:54,862 --> 00:03:56,552
♪ You're gone and buried
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00:03:56,551 --> 00:03:58,521
♪ The cemetery
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♪ Boy ain't it scary
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♪ R.I.P you're dead to me
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00:04:02,862 --> 00:04:05,142
♪ You're gone and buried
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00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:07,377
♪ I hope you're ready
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00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:08,689
♪ Boy ain't it scary
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00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,789
♪ R.I.P you're dead to me
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00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:15,763
♪ Cross my broken
heart I hope you die ♪
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00:04:16,586 --> 00:04:19,406
♪ Die
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00:04:19,413 --> 00:04:24,383
♪ Cross my broken
heart I hope you die ♪
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00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:28,279
♪ Die R.I.P you're dead to me
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00:04:30,931 --> 00:04:32,791
I used to
envy this world;
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00:04:32,793 --> 00:04:35,103
they got to live a life
not hidden in the shadows,
84
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:37,073
but out in the open and free.
85
00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:40,096
Now I see that
that's not the case,
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00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:43,720
these people are caged
by their insecurity.
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00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:45,931
Yo, move it.
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00:04:47,137 --> 00:04:49,377
Uh, believe
this is the men's room.
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00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:52,446
Yeah, thanks for
the tour, now move.
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00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:56,208
Wait a minute, are you like,
one of those transformers?
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00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:06,790
You deaf?
92
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,281
How much more time you need?
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00:05:22,827 --> 00:05:24,687
Just about finished.
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Sick.
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00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:32,760
♪ How you spend a day
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00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:34,308
♪ Wishing on flowers
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♪ Phone calls listen for hours
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00:05:36,827 --> 00:05:39,277
♪ Start sweet but
it don't matter ♪
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00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:41,135
♪ The apathy but so what
100
00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:47,785
Hey, what could I get for you?
101
00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:50,003
Uh, hey, can I
get a medium iced?
102
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,660
Make sure it's iced,
oat-milk latte with room.
103
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000
Sure, it'll be $6.60.
104
00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:10,716
Here you go.
105
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:12,830
Thanks.
106
00:06:39,862 --> 00:06:41,382
Oh, my Gaga.
107
00:06:41,379 --> 00:06:45,899
Sorry, I do not mean to be Joe
from "You" stalker vibes rn,
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00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,756
but if my little ears
didn't deceive me,
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00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:51,828
did you just order an
iced coffee with oat milk?
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00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:55,236
Yeah, dairy hurts my stomach.
111
00:06:55,241 --> 00:07:00,211
Yes! That is
so cute, you are adorable.
112
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,065
Love those necklaces, are you
going to the vigil tonight?
113
00:07:04,068 --> 00:07:05,278
Excuse me?
114
00:07:05,275 --> 00:07:07,855
Yeah, the remembrance
club is hosting it,
115
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,902
it's gonna be in the
actual locker room
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00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,236
where the guy was
actually murdered;
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00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:15,171
there's blood still
leftover and everything.
118
00:07:15,172 --> 00:07:17,662
But it's not really for
the weak-hearted, you know?
119
00:07:17,655 --> 00:07:20,755
It's kinda graphic, like
an escape room but real?
120
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:21,928
Remembrance club?
121
00:07:21,931 --> 00:07:23,341
Mm-hm, lots of
people are being like,
122
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:25,724
violently murdered right now.
123
00:07:25,724 --> 00:07:28,794
Be careful or you might be next.
124
00:07:32,655 --> 00:07:34,895
No, that's not funny, it's not.
125
00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:37,136
Because if you were
murdered? Oh my God,
126
00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:39,097
that would be a hate crime.
127
00:07:39,103 --> 00:07:40,793
That would be a
hate crime, okay?
128
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,973
No, that's worse than a real
crime and we love the gays.
129
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:46,785
I am an [slurring]-plus
community ally
130
00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:48,903
and I cannot have
that, we cannot-
131
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:50,973
Oh God.
132
00:07:52,586 --> 00:07:54,166
Do you watch "Drag Race?"
133
00:07:54,172 --> 00:07:55,482
"Drag Race?"
134
00:07:57,965 --> 00:07:59,585
You're actually killing me.
135
00:07:59,586 --> 00:08:01,476
"Drag Race," come on.
136
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:02,722
Lipsynch for your life.
137
00:08:02,724 --> 00:08:03,694
Come on.
138
00:08:05,517 --> 00:08:08,687
Miss Vanjie.
139
00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:17,516
You're gay, right? I'm
not getting this wrong?
140
00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:22,208
Oh, not you sipping.
141
00:08:23,827 --> 00:08:25,827
Queen of sipping,
slay her, bestie.
142
00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:27,477
I don't slay women.
143
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:29,855
Um...
144
00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,174
Hello.
145
00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:35,342
Hi, lesbo, what do you want?
146
00:08:35,344 --> 00:08:36,904
Excuse me?
147
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:40,896
Sorry, me and my newfound
gay bestie are actually having
148
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:44,516
a social, hunty, kiki
gathering, of course.
149
00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:49,764
It's a "Drag Race" reference.
150
00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:53,998
And oh, right, there's that
exhibit, the scissor exhibit
151
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,210
at the front hall that you
would love to go to, right?
152
00:08:57,206 --> 00:08:58,136
You have tickets to that?
153
00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:59,377
You'd love that, right?
154
00:08:59,379 --> 00:09:01,759
Lots of vaginas and
eating out and boobie.
155
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,308
You're so funny,
Amber, you know what?
156
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,970
I was just looking for you.
157
00:09:04,965 --> 00:09:06,405
You know when you
Facetune your ass,
158
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:09,213
it's not supposed to be
noticeable? We stan warped ass.
159
00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:12,481
Maybe
it wasn't Facetune.
160
00:09:12,482 --> 00:09:14,452
Mm.
161
00:09:14,448 --> 00:09:16,168
It's funny, it's
actually really funny.
162
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:19,452
It's not funny because I come
from a dynasty-long thread
163
00:09:19,448 --> 00:09:22,068
of family members
who have small asses,
164
00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:24,448
so it's actually one of
my biggest insecurities.
165
00:09:24,448 --> 00:09:27,998
Thanks,
thanks Gwen, my day is ruined.
166
00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:30,785
I swear it was really
great to meet you
167
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:32,383
and I'm sorry that we
had to end on this note,
168
00:09:32,379 --> 00:09:34,279
so see you guys later.
169
00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:36,375
Girls, let's go.
170
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:41,378
Okay, so what the fuck?
171
00:09:41,379 --> 00:09:43,789
Not you being a gay icon.
172
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,073
Shut up.
173
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:47,338
Heads up, physique from
economics is coming.
174
00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:49,932
Hey Ezra.
175
00:09:49,931 --> 00:09:53,101
Oh, hey Ian, this is Gwen.
176
00:09:53,103 --> 00:09:55,213
Hey, you're in my
economics class right?
177
00:09:55,206 --> 00:09:58,926
Oh, I am failing
your economics class.
178
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,761
What did I just miss?
179
00:10:00,758 --> 00:10:01,998
Honestly, I don't know.
180
00:10:03,241 --> 00:10:04,691
So what did you get?
181
00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:05,929
Pfizer.
182
00:10:05,931 --> 00:10:07,381
I meant the coffee.
183
00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:11,379
Oh! I got an iced
vanilla oat-milk latte;
184
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:12,169
it's really good.
185
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:18,898
Iced.
186
00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:21,861
Really, I didn't expect that.
187
00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:22,692
Why not?
188
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:25,095
You know, you just seem more
189
00:10:25,103 --> 00:10:28,793
like a regular-milk type
of guy, but what do I know?
190
00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:31,068
Yeah.
191
00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,588
I mean, oat milk's a safe bet;
192
00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:35,966
it's the same everywhere you
go, it's usually a good...
193
00:10:35,965 --> 00:10:37,965
good choice, you good man?
194
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:42,755
Never better.
12915
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